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Jokes for Teachers
Table of Contents
1. General Funny Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 3
2. Mathematics Jokes
…………………………………………………………………………… Page 8
3. Social Studies Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 10
4. Science Jokes
…………………………………………………………………………… Page 12
5. Language Arts Jokes …………………………………………………………………………… Page 14
6. Holiday Jokes
…………………………………………………………………………… Page 16
7. Simple K12 Jokes
…………………………………………………………………………… Page 19
8. Sources
…………………………………………………………………………… Page 20
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Jokes for Teachers
General Funny Jokes
1. Why did the teacher
wear sunglasses?
————————————————-
Because his class was so bright!
2. Why did the teacher write
on the window?
————————————————-
Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!
3. Why did the teacher go
to the beach?
————————————————-
To test the water.
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Jokes for Teachers
General Funny Jokes
4. Why were the teacher's
eyes crossed?
————————————————-
She couldn't control her pupils!
5. What did the ghost teacher
say to the class?
————————————————-
Look at the board and I will go through it again.
Source:http://www.ducksters.com/jokesforkids/teachers.php
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Jokes for Teachers
General Funny Jokes
6. “Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a
girl.
"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No." replied the boy.
"I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with
a sigh of relief.
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Jokes for Teachers
General Funny Jokes
7. A newly-appointed principal was a bit
apprehensive the morning of his first day at his new
school. In addition to the usual first-time-on-the-job
jitters he had recently injured this back and had to
wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body
so he wasn't quite feeling himself. But it fit under
his shirt and was not noticeable at all.
Adding to all this on the first day of the term, still
with the cast under his shirt, he found himself
holding a session with a collection of many of the
toughest disciplinary students in school. Putting on
his most-confident demeanor he walked into rowdy
classroom, opened the window as wide as possible,
and then busied himself with some paperwork at the
desk as he waited for the period to start. When a
strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk
stapler and stapled the tie straight into his chest as
the students watched in amazement. Discipline was
not a problem from that day forth!
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Jokes for Teachers
General Funny Jokes
8. A mother walked into her son’s bedroom and
said cheerfully, “Up. Up. It’s time to go to
school.”
The son replied, “I don’t want to go to school.”
“You have to go, “the mother said.
“I don’t want to. The kids are mean and
rotten.”
“You still have to go,” exclaimed the mother.
“It’s like a jungle. One fight after
another. They threaten me as least 100 times a
day!” cried the son.
“You have to go to school!!”
“Why do I have to go?” pleaded the son.
“Because,” replied the mother,
“you are the principal.”
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Jokes for Teachers
Math Jokes
9.A rubber band pistol was
confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math
disruption.
10. The fattest knight at King Arthur's
round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from eating too
much pi.
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Jokes for Teachers
Math Jokes
11. Pi to i: "Get real!"
i to Pi : "Get rational!"
12. There are 10 kinds of
mathematicians.
————————————————-
Those who know binary and those who don’t.
13. Why was the Algebra book so sad?
————————————————-
Because it had so many problems.
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Jokes for Teachers
Social Studies Jokes
14. What do Alfred the Great and Ivan
the Terrible have in common?
————————————————-
Their middle name*
15. Where did medieval knights
park their camels?
————————————————-
Camelot*
*Source: http://www.history-for-kids.com/history-jokes.html
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Jokes for Teachers
Social Studies Jokes
16. How was the Roman Empire
cut in half?
————————————————-
With a pair of Caesars.
17. Why were the early days of
history called the dark ages?
————————————————-
Because there were so many knights.
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Jokes for Teachers
Science Jokes
18. A neutron walked into a bar and
asked, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender replied,
"For you, no charge."
19. Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says, 'I've lost my electron.'
The other says 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
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Jokes for Teachers
Science Jokes
20. What did the receiver say
to the radio wave?
————————————————-
Ouch! That megahertz*
21. Physics quote of the day:
Anything that doesn't matter has no
mass.
22. What do you call two dinosaurs
that have been in an accident?
————————————————-
Tyrannosaurus wrecks*
* Source: http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/jokes.html
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Jokes for Teachers
Language Arts Jokes
23. There was the person who sent
ten puns to friends,
with the hope that at least one of the
puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.
24. When a teacher asked the six
year old student why his handwriting
wasn’t as neat as usual.
He responded,
“I’m trying a new font.”
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Jokes for Teachers
Language Arts Jokes
25. Teacher: Billy, your essay on "My
Dog" is exactly the same as your
brother's. Did you copy it?
Billy: No, Mrs. White. It's the same
dog!
27. Pencils could be made with
erasers on both ends,
but that would be pointless.*
26. What’s better than a
talking dinosaur?
————————————————-
A spelling bee*
* Source: http://www.enchantedlearning.com/jokes/topics/school.shtml
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Jokes for Teachers
Holiday Jokes
28. What do snowmen eat for
breakfast?
————————————————-
Frosted flakes (or snow flakes)
29. Where does the snowman
keep his money?
————————————————-
In the snow bank
30. What do you get if you cross a
snowman with a vampire?
————————————————-
Frostbite
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Jokes for Teachers
Holiday Jokes
31. Why did the elf go to sleep
in the fireplace?
————————————————-
Because he wanted to sleep like a log
32. What do you call people who are
afraid of Santa Claus?
————————————————-
Claus-trophobic
33. When does Christmas come
before Thanksgiving?
————————————————-
When you look in the dictionary
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Jokes for Teachers
Holiday Jokes
34. What do you get if you
deep fry Santa Claus?
————————————————-
Crisp Cringle
35. Why does Santa enjoy gardening?
————————————————-
Because he loves to Ho Ho Ho
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Jokes for Teachers
SimpleK12 Jokes
36. What do Simple K12 Bunnies
want for Christmas?
————————————————-
Answer: A good hare day!!
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Jokes for Teachers
Sources
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/jokes/topics/school.shtml
http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/jokes.html
http://www.ducksters.com/jokesforkids/teachers.php
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