Genesis 29 Dealing With Disappointments A sermon delivered at Calvary Chapel DC Metro http://www.calvarydcmetro.org As we move through Genesis we are watching the sanctification of Jacob. He is being transformed from a man who takes all he get to a man who follows after God. It’s going to be a painful process, in his life and in ours. Why is that? "It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply." (A.W. Tozer) Most of the lessons we remember best are the ones we had to hurt, to weep or bleed to learn. Life is not easy and not all people are kind. Sooner or later, some aspect of life crushes everyone. The question is: Where will we turn for help when that crushing occurs? My hope is that you, like Jacob and his wife Leah, will turn to God and trust in Him. And then, once you have emerged from the crushing, you will point others to the Holy Comforter who brought you through it all. Let’s see how things unfold this morning: 1 So Jacob went on his journey and came to the land of the people of the East. 2 And he looked, and saw a well in the field; and behold, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks. A large stone was on the well’s mouth. 3 Now all the flocks would be gathered there; and they would roll the stone from the well’s mouth, water the sheep, and put the stone back in its place on the well’s mouth. 4 And Jacob said to them, “My brethren, where are you from?” And they said, “We are from Haran.” 5 Then he said to them, “Do you know Laban the son of Nahor?” And they said, “We know him.” 6 So he said to them, “Is he well?” And they said, “He is well. And look, his daughter Rachel is coming with the sheep.” 7 Then he said, “Look, it is still high day; it is not time for the cattle [livestock] to be gathered together. Water the sheep, and go and feed them.” 8 But they said, “We cannot until all the flocks are gathered together, and they have rolled the stone from the well’s mouth; then we water the sheep.” 9 Now while he was still speaking with them, Rachel came with her father’s sheep, for she was a shepherdess. 10 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 1 well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother. 11 Then Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. 12 And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s relative and that he was Rebekah’s son. So she ran and told her father. Jacob has come to the right place, at the right time, met the right girl, but doesn’t have the right stuff. Compare this story with the account in Genesis chapter 24 where Abraham sent his servant to this same region to get a wife for his son Isaac. That servant had come with ten camels loaded down with goods including a bunch of gold jewelry. He was on what he felt was a mission from God and was very serious and deliberate about the choices he made. He prayed all along the way, wanting to find the right woman and praising God for the answers to his prayers. Jacob on the other hand, arrives alone with nothing more than the clothes on his back. The location is the same but the circumstances are altogether different. Jacob has come because he’s trying to run for his life after lying to his dad and cheating his brother. Along the way God collided with him one night in the desert, about a month ago, and instead of punishing him, He promised to bless him, to give him the land he was running away from, to give him numerous descendants, and to always watch over him and bring him back safely. It was something he didn’t deserve, something he didn’t ask for, and something he hadn’t earned, it was simply an expression of God’s grace. Jacob received that grace happily and made a commitment to God; in some ways, a major reset button had been pressed in his life. But even though he has this new relationship with God and this incredible promise from God, it doesn’t change the fact that he left home empty handed and that’s going to be important here in a minute, because now he’s going to have to work to earn something. Here we see an interesting intersection between God’s provision and man’s responsibility. Having a relationship with God radically alters our eternal condition, but sometimes it doesn’t seem to have as profound of an effect on our physical condition, at least not immediately. A prisoner on death row, who receives the gift of new life in Christ, is still going to be on death row. A homeless man will still be homeless. The cancer patient will still have cancer. God doesn’t usually perform as radical of a change on the outside as what happens on the inside. Instead, there is usually a process of learning to live out these new spiritual truths in your same old physical circumstances; it’s a process called sanctification. You’re in the same situations and the same relationships, but you have been given a new set of directives to govern your responses and attitude and you have a whole new pool of spiritual resources to draw from. Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 2 This is where we find Jacob this morning – he has a relationship with God, and promise that God is always watching over him, but he’s got to learn what that means in the middle of life lived on a sin-­‐filled planet. You see, he doesn’t know it quite yet, but his big uncle Laban is about to help him earn a graduate degree from the school of hard knocks. 13 Then it came to pass, when Laban heard the report about Jacob his sister’s son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him and kissed him, and brought him to his house. Laban remembers the last visitor they had from Abraham’s family and all the riches he left behind. He’s got to be disappointed when he shows up and finds one guy standing there with no suitcases full of gold. So he told Laban all these things. 14 And Laban said to him, “Surely you are my bone and my flesh.” And he stayed with him for a month. 15 Then Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my relative, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what should your wages be?” 16 Now Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. 17 Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance. “Delicate” eyes – -­‐ “Literally ‘soft,’ this description likely implies that Leah’s eyes lack the fire and sparkle that Orientals prize as beauty. -­‐ considered positive “speaks of fragility, vulnerability, tenderness or a delicate quality.” (BBCOT) Regardless of what it means, there is an intentional contrast here – Rachel is the hottie, and Leah is the pretty girl’s sister. The name Leah means, “weary” or “wild cow,” Rachel means “ewe lamb.” Are you picking up the contrast here? 18 Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.” 19 And Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to another man. Stay with me.” 20 So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her. Jacob was sent here to find a wife – there are two options, the wild cow with delicate eyes or the hot little lamb – which do you think he’s going to go for? Rachel of course! But did he make the right call? Well, first of all let’s point out again that there is nothing that says he prayed about this decision, unlike Abraham’s servant. Jacob just sees what looks like a good opportunity and goes for it. Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 3 But, if he had prayed, God still may have said yes, there is nothing wrong with liking a girl because she is pretty. In fact, you better. Attraction is a very valuable component in a relationship BUT it can’t be primary. Here is where we go wrong nowadays. Physical beauty has a place and value, but it fades, it is not the most valuable. Proverbs 31:30 Charm [is] deceitful and beauty [is] passing, But a woman [who] fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 1 Peter 3:3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Timothy 2:9 women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-­‐control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. (ESV) This is exactly why the club scene is all wrong and rarely produces good, long-­‐term marriages. In the club, or at the bar, people are judging each other solely on the basis of appearance and you catch a certain type of fish with a certain type of bait. If you attract a guy or girl based only on your looks and what you are wearing, you better be prepared to maintain all of that or else their attention is going to be captured by the next good looking thing that passes by. Time is against you, your appearance is fading; but your spirit can be growing. The majority of marriages begin with an introduction by a friend or family member. People who know you and have observed your inner qualities and can make good recommendations for you. There is nothing wrong with being beautiful or with doing the best you can with what you’ve got – BUT your appearance is not what is the most important. Consider, how much time do you spend in the morning get yourself ready to look good, and how much time do you spend cultivating your spirit and your walk with God? Which is more important to you – the way you look to others, or the way you look to God? Which is going to help you more, throughout the day – having your hair just right or having your attitude just right? We don’t know much about Rachel’s spirit here, but her physical appearance was captivating, so Jacob says I’ll work seven years for her. -­‐ His work will be a trade-­‐off for the bride price, or dowry, he’ll have to pay. -­‐ The typical bride price according to ancient sources is around 30-­‐40 shekels and the typical annual earnings of a shepherd was 10 shekels, so he’s paying almost twice the going rate, but he’s in no position to negotiate-­‐ remember, he can’t pay the bride price flat out because he had to flee his house empty handed, in other words, he’s Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 4 still feeling the effects of a bad choice he made a while back, even though God is in his life now. Laban accepts the deal, notice he doesn’t try to talk Jacob down or give him a family discount. And for the next seven years Jacob keeps his eye on the prize and works for that woman. Have you noticed that when you work for something, it’s more valuable to you when you finally attain it? If something is just given to you for free or you don’t have to put much into it, it’s not worth that much to you. Rachel is valuable to Jacob because he worked for her and he waited for her. There is something to be said here boys and girls, men and women, especially for you singles – make that man work for you, to prove he’s really into you. And men, demonstrate that you are willing to work for her. There’s also something to be said from the perspective of sexual purity – ever heard the expression, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” These two had to wait seven years – that’s a lot of hormones to keep in check! But, when the time is up, they have something to celebrate and they know they didn’t take any short cuts along the way. Of course, after all those years have passed, Jacob is just about ready to burst: 21 Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in to her.” We don’t need to explain that much – Jacob has worked hard and now it’s time to have a little party and receive his reward. 22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place and made a feast. Weddings at this time were usually a week long affair – all the family and friends were gathered together, there was a huge feast the first day along with the ceremony and then instead of going anywhere on a honeymoon, the couple spent the next six days hanging out with friends and family celebrating their marriage. 23 Now it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter and brought her to Jacob; and he went in to her. The bride is veiled and there’s a party probably flowing with wine. 24 And Laban gave his maid Zilpah to his daughter Leah as a maid. 25 So it came to pass in the morning, that behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Was it not for Rachel that I served you? Why then have you deceived me?” Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 5 26 And Laban said, “It must not be done so in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. 27 Fulfill her week, and we will give you this one also for the service which you will serve with me still another seven years.” Jacob is learning what it’s like to be deceived – when he asks Why did you deceive me? It’s the same word used to describe Jacob’s deception when he stole the blessing from Esau. Jacob deceived his dad in a dark tent, now he is deceived in a dark tent. Jacob didn’t esteem his older brother, now he receives the older sister. Don’t think this is some kind of cosmic karma thing as if God is giving Jacob a tit for tat, but God is allowing Jacob to experience some of the pain that he has caused others. Not to ‘pay for his sins’ that is a totally unchristian concept – we cannot atone for our own sins, that is why Jesus had to go to the cross. But even after our sins are forgiven, we are still left here on a diseased planet inhabited by other sinners and sometimes, those sinners make choices that hurt us, and sometimes, even when we are trying to live life for God, we sin and hurt other people too. Now Jacob is on the receiving end of deceitfulness, but at least he has the promise that God is watching over him and will bring him back home one day. You and I have that same promise remember – that if you are a Christian, God will never leave you nor forsake you, He is with you always. That doesn’t mean that people won’t sin against you, or that life won’t hurt at times, but when it does, you have someone to turn to. Someone who has also experienced that pain – remember our Savior was sinned against time and time again and was finally murdered after being betrayed and framed. Being a Christian doesn’t immunize you against the sin of this world, but it does give you a doctor to go to who will help with the pain. And, you have the knowledge that one day, everything will be brought into account – God declares that vengeance is His and He will repay, in His time. As we finish out this chapter we’ll shift our focus toward Leah who is also going to learn about God’s desire to reach out and love those who have been crushed by this life. 28 Then Jacob did so and fulfilled her week. So he gave him his daughter Rachel as wife also. 29 And Laban gave his maid Bilhah to his daughter Rachel as a maid. 30 Then Jacob also went in to Rachel, and he also loved Rachel more than Leah. And he served with Laban still another seven years. 31 When the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, He opened her womb; but Rachel was barren. 32 So Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben [see, a Son]; for she said, “The LORD has surely looked on my affliction. Now therefore, my husband will love me.” Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 6 Poor Leah has been mangled by life, always known as the one who wasn’t pretty. Forced by her dad to be smuggled in and married off to a man who didn’t want to marry her and to lie there while he thought he was making love to her sister. Now, she is hoping that perhaps Jacob will love her because she has given birth to a son. But it doesn’t work, so she tries again. 33 Then she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon [Heard]. 34 She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi [Attached]. None of this ever really turns Jacob’s heart toward her – after all, he never loved her in the first place, he never pursued her, he never intended to marry her, he was tricked into being with her. He takes care of her, provides for her, even fathers children with her but he never really has that heart bonding with her that he has with Rachel. Fortunately, there is someone who loves the unlovely… 35 And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Now I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she called his name Judah [Praise]. Then she stopped bearing. Leah is the mother of Levi, from that line will come Moses. She is also the mother of Judah, and from his line will come first King David, and then Jesus. She might not have found the love she was seeking from her father or from her husband, but she found it in God. And He used her in a mighty way – giving her a position and a privilege that was worth far more than the love of a single man. This is the God we serve – the God who takes the lying, scheming scumbag Jacob and promises to bless him and watch over him and turn his descendants into a nation; the God who takes a broken and rejected woman and uses her to bring forth the Messiah. This is our God who is taking broken lives and broken people and making a mighty kingdom out of them. It is a kingdom that you have the honor to be a part of, or to become a part of today. Copyright 2014 Calvary Chapel DC Metro – No Distribution Beyond Personal Use Permitted 7