BRASS,INC.
Winter-2006
Volume 3-Issue 1
Dating Violence
It can happen to anyone.
Dating Violence is, the use
of abusive tactics and physical
force, in order to obtain and
maintain power of control over
and intimate partner. It often
causes great emotional, and
also physical pain and suffering. Dating Violence can leave
people feeling helpless and
alone. If you know someone
(male or female) that has a
problem, you need to speak up.
Ignoring the issue will only
make it worse. Here are some
tips for you to refer to, and
hopefully avoid getting involved in a violent relationship.
Healthy Dating Relationship:
•
Willing to compromise
•
Able to admit fault
•
Enables you to feel safe
•
Accepts the word “No”
•
Respects your wishes if
you want to end the
•
Respects your feelings,
opinions, and friends
•
Tries to resolve conflict by
talking honestly
Makes you feel comfortable being yourself
Headline: Dating
Violence-It can
happen to anyone.
1
Cycle of Violence
in Dating
Relationships
2
Stalking: Facts
2-3
and tips to avoid
becoming a victim.
Unhealthy Warning Signs:
•
Makes fun of you in front
of others
•
Puts down your accomplishments or goals
•
Makes you feel stupid or
not good enough
•
Uses intimidation or
threats to get their way
•
Treats you roughly
•
Shows up to make sure
you are where you said
you’d be.
•
Pressures you sexually for
things you are not ready
•
Makes you feel there’s no
way out of a relationship
•
Prevents you from going
out, or doing what you
want
•
Makes you feel that every-
relationship
•
Inside this issue:
Reader’s
Respond: High
school student’s
words of wisdom
Verbal Abuse–a common occurrence
among teenagers that is usually accepted as, “kids being kids.” It can be
a sign of violent behavior.
thing that goes wrong is
your fault
•
Tells your nothing without
them
•
Gets jealous of your
friends, or doesn’t allow
you to see your friends
socially
•
Violent or abusive to animals
3
VINE Informa4
tion: Kentucky’s
Victim notification
System explained.
Special points of
interest:
• Is you’re boyfriend or
girlfriend pushing things
too far? Headline
• Cycle of Violence Exercise. Can you fit aspects
of your relationship into
the Cycle? Page 2
• Harmless infatuation or
Stalker? Things you
need to know if you’re
unsure. Pages 2&3
• BRASS, Inc. Crisis Line
and VINE information.
Pages 3&4
2.Stress and Conflict
1.Romance
3.Abuse and Violence
The Terms below describe various pieces of the Cycle of Violence. Match the words or phrases with the 3 steps in the Cycle.
1.Promises never to do it again
4.Moody
5.Slaps
2.Insults
6.Sexual Assault
3.Jealous
7.Apologizes
8.Shoves you down 9.Cries 10.Blames you for problems in their life
Answers on pg. 4
Are you being stalked?
Stalking facts, and what to do if you become a victim.
Stalking is defined simply as, unWhen it comes to stalking, both genders are
wanted pursuit, following, or
at risk. These are a few things
harassment. These are some
that teens can do to discourkeys to understanding, coping,
age stalkers. It is recomand protecting yourself
mended that at the first signs
against stalkers. A recent
of discomfort, you should
study showed that between
clearly communicate your
one third and one quarter colunwillingness to engage in
Between one third and one quarter of
lege students have reported
further contact with the
college students say they’ve been stalked.
being stalked. That study was
stalker. This early assertion
of strength may discourage any further
done on female and male college students.
Page 2
contact. You may hurt a few feelings, but
the alternative to taking an early stand may
be catastrophic. You cannot assume that
the stalker thinks or behaves like you. Reasoning or compromising with stalkers only
gives them a heightened sense of power. If
telling the stalker doesn’t do any good, then
you must begin documenting the instances
that have made you uncomfortable. Creating a “paper trail” on your stalker is instrumental in pursuing legal action-Continued on pg.3
Volume 3-Issue 1
Are you being stalked? Stalking facts, and what to do if you
become a victim. (Cont. from page 2)
against your aggressor. All threatening
calls, hang-ups, hate mail/e-mail, or unwanted contact should be written down.
Document, in chronological order, the date/
time of incident, exactly what took place, if
there were any witnesses, and your response. The authorities should also be
notified when possible to make police reports citing what took place. All these
tools will help you to regain your right to
safety and privacy. If you think that you
can solve the problem yourself, or a loved
one can scare the stalker away, chances are
you will end up dead wrong. Another legal
tool that you can use, is a restraining order.
While some experts disagree with the effectiveness of taking such an action, the
protective order will sometimes dissuade
the stalkers pursuit. In these cases, the
stalker fears detention/jail and simply gives
up. You never know what type of person
you’re dealing with . Many states have
also passed laws to allow victims to be
notified of upcoming parole hearings,
provide impact statements to the court, and
receive reimbursement for lost wages, doc-
tor bills, and mental health expenses. Kentucky’s notification service is called,
Victim Information and Notification Everyday (VINE) . More information on VINE
is contained on
page four of this
issue. Unfortunately, this danger
facing today’s
youth is real, but
these tips can help Restraining orders can prove to be a
valuable tool to discourage stalkers.
you overcome the
dangers of dealing with stalkers.
Become part of the solution:
Give us feedback, and we’ll respond
Barren River Area Safe Space
(BRASS) wants to know what’s going on
with your local schools and students. Stories, pictures, sporting events/scores, poetry, personal achievements, or anything
else you would like to see in our publication would be greatly appreciated. Our
newsletter is useless if we can’t get you
guys to read it! So feel free to send us all
ideas. Our mailing address is:
Barren River Area Safe Space
READER’S RESPONSE
P.O. Box 1941
Bowling Green, KY 42101
You can also contact us directly by giving
us a call at our toll free Crisis Line: 800928-1183. Someone is there 24/7 to answer
any questions you might have. All calls are
confidential. So, if you want to see your
picture in our next edition, all you need to
do is contact our friendly staff and we’ll
coordinate the rest. We’ve been lucky
enough to get some reader response in the
past. The excerpt below was written by 15
year old Isabella.
“If I knew someone who was being abused, I’d try to talk to them about it. I’d
tell them, don't feel ashamed, it’s not your fault. I’d say to them, if you feel like
you are able to, then get out as soon as you can, because the abuse just wears
you down more and more. Stop hoping he will change. That’s just a waste of
time. But be careful, because with some guys, things can get scary, especially
when you try to leave. If my friend didn’t think she could leave, I wouldn’t
criticize her. I’d hang in there and support her. I’d tell her how much it can help
to talk to people about it, because if you have support, it can make you feel a lot
stronger. Things will get better when once your free from abuse, I’d say. You’ll
have your life back. And even if it takes a while to start trusting people again, it
also makes you stronger and aware of your own rights.” Isabella-15
BRASS, INC. CRISIS LINE IS ALWAYS FREE, CONFIDENTIAL, AND CARING.
EVEN IF YOU JUST HAVE QUESTIONS, CALL US TO GET A STRAIGHT
ANSWER. OUR OPERATORS ARE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL 24/7.
Volume 3-Issue 1
Page 3
TEEN SCENE Editor: Ryan Braber
BRASS, Inc. Advocacy Services:
Pam Hurt– 781-9334
Direct all mail to:
Barren River Area Safe Space
P.O. Box 1941
Bowling Green, KY 42101
The TEEN SCENE is published by The Barren River
Area Safe Space, Inc. as part of the Teen Violence Prevention Program. BRASS, Inc. is a non-profit organization dedicated to the welfare of our entire community.
This publication is made possible through funding from
the United Way of Southern Kentucky (Allen, Barren,
Logan, and Simpson counties).
References: Are you being stalked? Stalking facts and what to
do if you become a victim.
Spence-Diehl, Emily. Stalking, A Handbook for Victims.1999
Levy, Barry, M.S.W. Dating Violence: Young Women in
Danger.1998
2.Stress and Conflict
1.
3.Ab
ANSWER KEY:
1.Romance-1,4,7,9
2.Stress and Conflict-2,3,10
3.Abuse and Violence-5,6,8
Volume 3, Issue 1
Victim Information and Notification
Everyday is a statewide victim notification system. Through this system, a
victim can obtain information about
inmates housed in detention centers
nationwide. Victims are also automatically notified when prisoner’s are released ,escape custody, or become eligible for parole. Call the toll free number
below to register and get more info.
Page 4