The assembly
You will need:
Music: the suggested music for this assembly is ‘You got a friend’ by James Taylor or
‘Bridge over troubled water’ by Simon and Garfunkel, or any recent music about friendship
suggested by the children.
Pictures to support children’s understanding of the assembly story. You will find these on
the CD-ROM that accompanies these materials. They can be copied onto acetates or used
with a data projector.
A flipchart and pen (optional).
Introduction
Note: For children in the Foundation Stage, it may be more appropriate to introduce the
work on this theme in a class/group gathering. A story that could be used in Foundation
Stage settings is provided at the beginning of the Red set: later Foundation Stage.
Explain to the children that this assembly is about friendship and the story they are going
to hear is about friendship tokens. Friendship tokens are like magic: the more you give
them away, the more you have. You give away a friendship token when you say something
nice to someone, or when you listen carefully to them, or have a laugh with them. You give
friendship tokens when you keep your word, when you see something from someone
else’s point of view, or when you say sorry if things go wrong.
Ask the children to think of some other friendship tokens that they might give to someone.
You can write their thoughts on a flipchart if you wish.
Go on to say that sometimes we fall out with our friends. We can sometimes become
angry with them and be hurt by their behaviour, as they can at times be hurt by ours. That
is when we stop giving friendship tokens. That is what happens in this story.
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© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
The story
Once upon a time, everybody in the world was friends with everybody. Nobody
hurt or upset anybody and nobody ever said or did a mean thing. The secret of
this happy world was that the people were always giving friendship tokens to
each other. They were kind to everyone and wanted to make everyone feel
good. Because they gave away so many friendship tokens, there were always
more and more of them. It was like magic and it was a very good world to be in.
Rani and Leroy were two of the happiest children
in this happy world. They were the very best of
friends and always had been. When Rani
was sad, Leroy’s friendship tokens
would cheer her up. When Leroy was
upset, Rani’s friendship tokens would
make him feel better. They didn’t
always agree, but when they
disagreed their friendship tokens
meant that they tried to
understand each other instead
of falling out.
One day an old woman came
into the world. She looked
around at the happy faces of the
people and her mean face grew
even meaner. She felt different
from them, uncomfortable and
miserable. She wanted to stop the
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people being so happy and make
Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
them as miserable as she was. She crept up to the first person she saw. He was giving
some friendship tokens to his neighbour by helping him to dig his garden.
She whispered in the man’s ear: ‘Don’t give any more of your friendship tokens away.
That other man will keep on taking them from you until you have none left. Keep your
tokens for yourself.’ The man immediately stopped helping his neighbour. ‘You can dig
the garden yourself,’ he said. ‘You’re not having my friendship tokens.’ And he went
inside his house and shut the door tight.
Everywhere the old woman went, she whispered the same thing in people’s ears. ‘Don’t
give away your friendship tokens. Keep them for yourself.’ And gradually the people
stopped being kind and friendly to each other and instead became selfish and
suspicious. And because they didn’t give away their friendship tokens, each day there
were fewer and fewer tokens to be seen.
At last the old woman came to where Rani and Leroy were playing. They were giving
each other lots of friendship tokens. Rani was telling Leroy what a brilliant runner he
was. Leroy was telling Rani how amazing she was at swimming.
The old woman’s face twisted with anger. She sidled up to Leroy and hissed in his ear:
‘Don’t give Rani any more friendship tokens. She wants them all so that you won’t have
any. You must keep them all for yourself.’
Leroy looked at Rani’s happy face but, suddenly, all he could see was greed. She gave
him some friendship tokens but he would not take them. He would not listen. He felt
suddenly angry with her. His face grew hot and his mouth was dry. ‘I know you just
want to take all my friendship tokens so you can keep them for yourself,’ he said. ‘You
get away from me, you thief.’ He clenched his fists.
Rani was hurt and bewildered. She went to him and put her hand on his arm. But Leroy
pushed her away. ‘Get away from me,’ he shouted. ‘I tell you you’re not having my
friendship tokens – I will never be your friend again.’ And he turned away and shut
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himself inside his house.
© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
Rani did not understand. Leroy was her oldest and best friend. What was happening?
Then she looked at the old woman. The woman’s face was gleeful and she was rubbing
her hands. As she walked away, Rani followed her. Everywhere the old woman went
Rani saw her whispering to the people so that they turned away from each other. Rani
gave the people her friendship tokens, but they just looked at her suspiciously and told
her to go away. At last Rani realised that the old woman was destroying all the kindness
in the world with her whispering and that she had destroyed Rani’s friendship with Leroy.
Then the old woman turned around and saw Rani, and saw that she was still full of
friendship tokens. The old woman walked towards her. Rani was scared but she did not
run away. Instead, she looked closely at the old woman’s face and saw that, under the
meanness, she was the loneliest, saddest person she had ever seen.
So, Rani gave her a friendship token. ‘I am sorry you are such a
lonely old woman,’ she said. ‘I will be your friend.’ But the
old woman did not hear her. She came closer. ‘I will
be your friend,’ said Rani, more loudly, but the
old woman had been lonely and miserable for
such a long time, she still could not hear the
kind words. She leaned closely towards
Rani’s ear and began to whisper.
(At this point tell the children that Rani
desperately needs their help to get her
friendship token to the old woman before
she can say the words which will harm
her. When Rani next speaks they must
all join in with her, saying together ‘I will
be your friend’.)
By now Rani was terrified that the old
woman would destroy her friendship
tokens just as she had destroyed Leroy’s
and all the other people’s. She tried one last
time. (Ask the children to join in with her.)
‘I will be your friend,’ she said, and to her amazement her voice sounded so loud, it
was as if many, many children had spoken.
The old woman stopped and looked around her as if she had just woken from sleep.
‘What did you say?’ she said. (Ask the children to join in with Rani again.)
‘I will be your friend,’ said Rani. As the old woman heard Rani’s words it was as
though she had been given the friendship tokens of many, many children. Her face
crumpled and tears rolled down her wrinkled cheeks. And then Rani gave her token
after token. ‘I will stop you being lonely,’ she said. ‘I know you won’t hurt the people
any more. I believe you are really a kind old woman.’
And as she spoke the old woman cried and cried, but all she could say was: ‘It’s too late.
It’s too late.’
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Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
‘No!’ cried Rani, ‘It can’t be too late. We must go and find Leroy.’
So Rani and the old woman ran to Leroy’s house. He was still angry. He still thought
that Rani wanted to steal his friendship tokens. ‘I will never trust her again,’ he said.
But the old woman whispered to him and, this time, her words helped to calm him
down. She told him that Rani had never wanted to steal his friendship tokens, it had all
been her fault. She said that he should let Rani talk to him. And, of course, the more
Leroy listened to Rani and the more friendship tokens she gave him, the more tokens he
had to give back to her. At last he told her he was sorry and ashamed that he had been
so angry and had not listened to her. He said that she would always be his best friend.
Rani said that he would always be hers.
So, Rani and Leroy’s story has a happy ending, because they were able to listen to each
other and realise why things had gone wrong. They were soon giving each other as
many friendship tokens as ever, and they were friends for as long as they lived.
As for the old woman, she walked across the whole world, trying to undo all the sadness
and misery she had caused, but, she was right, it was too late. Everywhere people hurt
each other and fought each other, even whole countries fought each other. But she kept
on trying to make things better. She still does. You can’t see her but she still walks the
world trying to help people to give their friendship tokens away. Sometimes they listen
and sometimes they don’t. Are you listening?
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© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
Now explore with the children some of their ideas about the story. Ask them the following
questions:
•
Why do you think the old woman was so mean at first? (Encourage the children to use
feelings words like jealous, lonely, sad, different.)
•
What sorts of feelings do you think Leroy might have been feeling when he was so
horrible to Rani? (Encourage the children to think of words like angry, confused, upset,
annoyed.)
•
•
How do you think Rani was feeling when Leroy shouted at her and called her names?
•
What did Rani do that stopped the old woman from hurting her as she had hurt Leroy
and all the others?
What do you think might have happened if Rani had lost her temper and shouted back
at Leroy?
Ask the children to think about a friendship token they have given someone recently. It
might have been a kind word or a smile, or perhaps it was listening to someone or helping
the person. (You could use the children’s previous ideas as a prompt if you charted them.)
Remind the children that in the story Leroy was horrible to Rani and would not accept her
friendship tokens. Ask them to think about a time when they have found it difficult to give
or accept friendship. Encourage them to tell you about feelings they have sometimes that
might make it difficult to say nice things or want someone to say nice things to them.
Ask them to think about how Rani behaved when Leroy was horrible to her. Draw out why
it might be difficult to behave the way Rani did and what other behaviours they might have
used, such as walking away.
Tell the children that some of the work they will be doing over the next few weeks will be to
help them get along with people and learn how to make things better when they fall out.
Perhaps it will seem as though the old woman is walking among them, helping them to
give out their friendship tokens and making the world better.
Conclusion
Ask everybody in the room or hall (adults and children) to give a friendship token to the
person next to them, something that will make that person feel good, even if it is only a
smile, or telling the person that they look nice. They should make sure that no one has
been left out.
Then ask everyone to find a quiet place inside themselves. Ask them to think about
someone they like, or someone who might be lonely or sad, and to think very hard about
one or two friendship tokens they could give to that person. Ask them to keep their kind
thoughts in their heads and when they see that person give them the friendship token(s).
Tell them that if everybody in the whole school does this, it will probably be the friendliest
school in the whole country and, maybe, they will even make the old woman happy.
Play the music and ask the children to leave in silence, keeping these positive thoughts in
their heads.
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Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
Follow-up assembly to be held at the end of the theme
Begin by reminding the children about the story of Rani, Leroy and the old woman. Ask the
children how many of them have been giving out friendship tokens at school and/or at
home, and about any that they have received. Tell the children about some of the kind,
thoughtful things you have noticed them doing over the past few weeks.
Say that each class or year group will now show an example of their work and tell the
whole school about some of the things they have learned. Each teacher can decide on
what work the children will show but some suggestions follow.
Foundation Stage (Red)
(Individual schools should decide whether it is appropriate for the Foundation Stage
children to join in with the follow-up assembly.)
Children and/or adults show the poster the children have made to help people work and
play together. They point out how the children worked together to make the poster.
Children and/or adults share with the whole school the book the children have made
showing how to work together and how to overcome problems.
Year 1/2 (Blue)
Children show the rest of the school the posters they have made that advertise for a friend.
The children should say how they worked as a group and why they decided on what they
wrote on the poster.
Some of the children tell a story from two different perspectives and demonstrate the idea
of ‘standing in someone else’s shoes’ so as to understand their point of view.
Year 3/4 (Yellow)
Children share what they have learned about anger, the things that can trigger it and how it
affects behaviour. They then share what they have learned about calming down strategies
and show how these can help.
Year 5/6 (Green)
Children present what they have learned about conflict and about how conflict can be
resolved. This could be done through role-play or through children presenting their work on
things that make conflict worse or better.
Children role-play some of the things we might say in an argument and how this might
make the other person feel. They then change what they say to ‘I messages’ and show
how these help people to sort out conflict.
To finish the assembly ask the children to sit quietly for a moment and think about
everything they have heard in the assembly and what they have learned over the last few
weeks. They should think about what they have done to be a good friend and what other
people have done for them. Perhaps they have managed to deal with their angry feelings
and learned how to calm down and find solutions to some problems. You may like to tell
the children that you think this has become the friendliest school in the country because of
each child’s contribution.
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© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005
Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
Ask the children to try and keep these positive thoughts in their heads, not just today, but
always. Say that it is only through them, and children all over the world, that the world may,
one day, become a happier and more peaceful place.
Play the music and ask the children to leave in silence, keeping these positive thoughts in
their heads.
Variations on the assembly for subsequent years
The assembly story lends itself very well to being dramatised with a narrator. Each year ask
a group of older children to adapt the story, perhaps changing the names and genders of
the main characters and dramatising their parts. The setting for the story could be
anywhere in the world and at any point in history or beyond. This setting could be
introduced in place of ‘Once upon a time ...’.
The idea of the friendship tokens should be maintained, but the children could decide what
the tokens might look like. They might find, make and use them as props in their
dramatisation. Paper flowers or ‘golden walnuts’ (nuts sprayed gold) might be examples,
but the children will come up with their own ideas. These tokens could then be extended
for the whole school to use. The children could give the friendship tokens different names
each year, such as peace pacts, golden goodies or harmony handouts.
Every third year the original story could be read again so that most children will hear it twice.
The introduction to the assembly remains broadly the same each year but will need to
incorporate any of the adaptations the children decide upon. The follow-up assembly stays
the same each year.
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Getting on and falling out
Theme overview
Primary National Strategy
© Crown copyright 2005
DfES 1330-2005