Still in step?
Let’s think a bit more about sentencing,
signposting & showcasing your ideas &
then have a look at essays
& essay synopses
Dr Jeannette Stirling,
Senior lecturer,
Subject
Assessment
1
Assessment
2
Assessment
3
Final
Exam
MGNT102
Week 4, 6, 9, 11
In session MC tests
Readiness
Assurance
Weeks 5, 7, 10, 12
Week 7
Essay –Reflective
Journal
1000 words
15%
Exam Period
Final exam
Business
Communications
18%
MGNT110
Introduction to
Management
ACCY111
Authentic Tasks
Applied Case Studies
18%
Week 6, 12
Team maintenance,
34%
Evaluation 15%
Weeks 4,6,9,13
4 Quizzes
Week 7
Essay Synopsis
Week 10
Full Essay
Exam Period
Final exam
20%
10%
30%
40%
Week 5
In session MC test
Week 9
Social
Responsibility
Poster Critique
10%
Week 11
In session MC test
Exam Period
Final exam
15%
60%
Week 9
Essay
750-1000 words
10%
Exam Period
Final exam
15%
ECON100
Economic
Essentials for
Business
Ongoing
Tutorial/Lab tasks
In session tests
10%
15%
15%
FIN111
Introductory
Principles of
Finance
Ongoing
Weeks 3-7, 9-13
Tutorial/Lab tasks
Week 8
Mid session test
Exam Period
Final exam
10%
25%
65%
50%
Subject
Assessment
1
Assessment
2
Assessment
3
AUST101
Week 5
Review essay
1000wds.
20%
Week 10
Research essay
2000wds.
40%
Ongoing
Class
Participation
10%
ENGL120
Week 4
Quiz:
Short-answer
questions
20%
Week 7
Major essay –
Week 3
Reflective essay
500wds
Week 8
Individual
Research Report
1000wds.
Pass/Fail
LHA101
Pass/Fail
SOC103
INDS150
Final Exam:
Essay & shortanswer questions
1200 wds.
40%
Week 12
Essay
1500wds.
40%
Assessment
5
Exam Period
Final exam
2 hrs.
30%
Close textual
analysis
Week 6
2 x Reflections on
Reading
(600 wds. each)
20%
Weeks 4, 9, 13
Online Quizzes
20% each
60%
Assessment
4
40%
Week 9
Peer feedback
on 3 other
reports
Pass/Fail
Weeks 11 & 12
Group
presentations
Week 13
Reflective essay
500wds,
Pass/Fail
Pass/Fail
Week 12
Essay
1200wds.
40%
Ongoing
Tutorial
participation
Exam Period
Final exam
.
30%
10%
INDS150 reflections
SOC103 blog
Probably best not to lose your reader. Particularly
when grades are involved.
So …
 CREATE more effective sentences & paragraphs
TO
 SIGNPOST key points in your argument
AND HENCE
 SHOWCASE your information
Do you recall why a ‘thesis’ statement is
so valuable to an Introduction?
 An effective thesis statement will make a
claim to be argued.
 An effective thesis statement will
therefore control the entire argument.
 An effective thesis statement will also
provide a structure for your argument.
Sample student Introduction & the ‘thesis’ statement in
context….
A Government web site (2009) that provides information to
migrants about becoming an Australian citizen outlines those
values that define national identity. These values include
“equality of men and women”, “equality of opportunity”,
“tolerance and mutual respect”. Future citizens are also told
that these values are central to the security and ongoing
prosperity of the nation. This essay examines these values in
relation to the experiences of migrant women from nonEnglish speaking backgrounds. Many of these women are
subjected to exploitation in the workplace. They often remain
invisible to unions and other organisations interested in
workplace equity. Often they will also experience social
isolation. Their difficulties in finding a way to live in ‘this place’
are reinforced by gender and the language barrier. It will be
argued that the experiences of many migrant women from
non-English speaking backgrounds fall short of the ideals of
equality, tolerance and mutual respect.
Used with permission
Introduces the
topic; identifies
specific values.
Provides context
in which these
values will be
analysed;
indicates central
focus of
discussion
Clear statement
of argument: the
‘thesis’
statement.
Introduction activity #1
John Clare and John Keats, though both writers in the Romantic
period, take significantly different approaches to Nature in their
poems. Clare’s poetry focuses on the physical aspects of nature
and often works with literal representations, whereas Keats tends
to focus on the metaphysical aspects of nature and draws on a
wide range of figurative language. Clare’s poetry is both political
and pleasurable. He elevates the freedom of being able to
traverse unenclosed lands and celebrates the impact of being ‘in
nature’ on the senses. Keats’ poetry is concerned with
philosophical exploration; for him, nature provides the inspiration
for creativity and enhances metaphysical awareness. Clare places
Nature front and centre in his poems, it is something to be valued
and protected. Keats’ takes a “humanist” perspective and Nature
is secondary to human experience. Keats declared “I write what I
imagine” (ref), while Clare insisted that “I find the poems in the
field and write them down” (ref). In order to further explore the
differences encapsulated by these quotes, this essay will discuss
Clare’s poems Grasshoppers and A Gloomy Day in Summer, and
also On the Grasshopper and Cricket and To Autumn by Keats.
Identify the
sentence/s that
clearly states
the position to
be argued.
Identify the
sentence/s that
contextualise
the topic for the
reader.
Identify the
sentence/s
that denote the
structure of
the rest of the
text.
Introduction activity #1 – parts identified
John Clare and John Keats, though both writers in the Romantic
period, take significantly different approaches to Nature in their
poems. Clare’s poetry focuses on the physical aspects of nature
and often works with literal representations, whereas Keats tends
to focus on the metaphysical aspects of nature and draws on a
wide range of figurative language. Clare’s poetry is both political
and pleasurable. He elevates the freedom of being able to
traverse unenclosed lands and celebrates the impact of being ‘in
nature’ on the senses. Keats’ poetry is concerned with
philosophical exploration; for him, nature provides the inspiration
for creativity and enhances metaphysical awareness. Clare places
Nature front and centre in his poems, it is something to be valued
and protected. Keats’ takes a “humanist” perspective and Nature
is secondary to human experience. Keats declared “I write what I
imagine” (ref), while Clare insisted that “I find the poems in the
field and write them down” (ref). In order to further explore the
differences encapsulated by these quotes, this essay will discuss
Clare’s poems Grasshoppers and A Gloomy Day in Summer, and
also On the Grasshopper and Cricket and To Autumn by Keats.
Identify the
sentence/s that
clearly states
the position to
be argued.
Identify the
sentence/s that
contextualise
the topic for the
reader.
Identify the
sentence/s
that denote the
structure of
the rest of the
text.
Introduction activity #2
Social research and analyses of the health of Indigenous
Australians over the past two decades have provided the
government, the health care system, and the community in general
with an understanding of the poor health of Australia’s Aboriginal
and Torres Strait Island peoples. This research has also highlighted
the main health issues affecting Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island
peoples, the causes of these health issues, as well as suggest
possible solutions for improving health outcomes. Sociologists
involved in this field of research revealed the significant
discrepancies between the health of Australian Aboriginal peoples
and the general population. As a result, the country’s main
Indigenous and non-Indigenous health bodies, non-government
agencies and human rights organizations came together in 2007 to
promote a campaign called ‘Close the Gap’ in an effort to improve
the health and life expectancy of Australia’s Indigenous
peoples. The following discussion examines a selection of the key
policies which have arisen from the social research and analyses
that have contributed to the ‘Close the Gap’ initiative.
Identify the
sentence/s that
clearly states
the position to
be argued.
Identify the
sentence/s that
contextualise
the topic for the
reader.
Identify the
sentence/s
that denote the
structure of
the rest of the
text.
Introduction activity #2: parts identified
Social research and analyses of the health of Indigenous
Australians over the past two decades have provided the
government, the health care system, and the community in general
with an understanding of the poor health of Australia’s Aboriginal
and Torres Strait Island peoples. This research has also highlighted
the main health issues affecting Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island
peoples, the causes of these health issues, as well as suggesting
possible solutions for improving health outcomes. Sociologists
involved in this field of research revealed the significant
discrepancies between the health of Australian Aboriginal peoples
and the general population. As a result, the country’s main
Indigenous and non-Indigenous health bodies, non-government
agencies and human rights organizations came together in 2007 to
promote a campaign called ‘Close the Gap’ in an effort to improve
the health and life expectancy of Australia’s Indigenous
peoples. The following discussion examines a selection of the key
policies which have arisen from the social research and analyses
that have contributed to the ‘Close the Gap’ initiative.
Identify the
sentence/s that
clearly states
the position to
be argued.
Identify the
sentence/s that
contextualise
the topic for the
reader.
Identify the
sentence/s
that denote the
structure of
the rest of the
text.
Is this essay introduction example effective?
In 2005, the ‘Social Justice Report 2005’ was published by the Aboriginal and Torres
Strait Islander Social Justice Commissioner (HREOC 2005). The Report drew to light
health inequalities of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, and provided a
framework based on a human rights approach to address these inequalities (HREOC
2005). Following the release of the Council of Australian Governments (COAG)
endorsed a ‘National Indigenous Reform Agreement’ in 2008, which agreed to specific
actions to address the gap in health outcomes experienced by aboriginal and Torres
Strait Islander people across urban, rural and remote areas (COAG 2009). The aim of
this paper is to present the findings of a systematic literature review on the impact of
being an Indigenous person of Australia on health outcomes. This paper summarises
academic literature and key reports on Indigenous health from 2002 to present. The
concept of the determinants of health is discussed including the social determinants of
health. Health risk factors such as smoking and obesity are examined with respect to
Indigenous Australians, followed by the link between health and socioeconomic
disadvantage. The measurement of health follows, which looks at life expectancy,
hospital rates, health surveys and daily-adjusted life years. The essay concludes by
examining a number of chronic diseases frequently experienced by Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander persons.
Used with permission
Well, we can do this …
In 2005, the ‘Social Justice Report 2005’ was published by the Aboriginal and Torres
Strait Islander Social Justice Commissioner (HREOC 2005). The Report drew to light
health inequalities of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, and provided a
framework based on a human rights approach to address these inequalities (HREOC
2005). Following the release of the Council of Australian Governments (COAG)
endorsed a ‘National Indigenous Reform Agreement’ in 2008, which agreed to specific
actions to address the gap in health outcomes experienced by aboriginal and Torres
Strait Islander people across urban, rural and remote areas (COAG 2009). The aim of
this paper is to present the findings of a systematic literature review on the impact of
being an Indigenous person of Australia on health outcomes. This paper summarises
academic literature and key reports on Indigenous health from 2002 to present. The
concept of the determinants of health is discussed including the social determinants of
health. Health risk factors such as smoking and obesity are examined with respect to
Indigenous Australians, followed by the link between health and socioeconomic
disadvantage. The measurement of health follows, which looks at life expectancy,
hospital rates, health surveys and daily-adjusted life years. The essay concludes by
examining a number of chronic diseases frequently experienced by Aboriginal and
Torres Strait Islander persons.
Used with permission
However, the student was advised to rewrite because of internal
inconsistencies …
In 2005, the ‘Social Justice Report 2005’ was published by the Aboriginal and Torres
Strait Islander Social Justice Commissioner (HREOC 2005). The Report drew to light
health inequalities of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, and provided a
framework based on a human rights approach to address these inequalities (HREOC
2005). Following the release of the Council of Australian Governments (COAG)
endorsed a ‘National Indigenous Reform Agreement’ in 2008, which agreed to specific
actions to address the gap in health outcomes experienced by aboriginal and Torres
Strait Islander people across urban, rural and remote areas (COAG 2009). The aim
of this paper is to present the findings of a systematic literature review on the
impact of being an Indigenous person of Australia on health outcomes. This
paper summarises academic literature and key reports on Indigenous health
from 2002 to present. The concept of the determinants of health is discussed
including the social determinants of health. Health risk factors such as smoking and
obesity are examined with respect to Indigenous Australians, followed by the link
between health and socioeconomic disadvantage. The measurement of health
follows, which looks at life expectancy, hospital rates, health surveys and dailyadjusted life years. The essay concludes by examining a number of chronic diseases
frequently experienced by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander persons.
Rewritten version …
In 2005, a Social Justice Report was published by the Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Islander Social Justice Commissioner (HREOC 2005). The Report dealt with the
health inequalities of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people and provided a
framework based on a human rights approach to address these inequalities (HREOC
2005). In the wake of the Report’s release, the Council of Australian Governments
(COAG) endorsed a ‘National Indigenous Reform Agreement’ in 2008 which agreed
to specific actions to address the gap in health outcomes experienced by Aboriginal
and Torres Strait Islander people across urban, rural and remote areas (COAG 2009).
The following discussion examines the impact of being an Australian Indigenous
person on health outcomes by systematically reviewing and summarising a
selection of academic literature and key reports on Indigenous health from 2002 to
the present. Social determinants of health, particularly identified risk factors such
as smoking and obesity, are critically examined in relation to this population
group and links between health and socioeconomic disadvantage analysed. The
essay concludes by examining a number of chronic diseases frequently experienced
by Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.
Used with permission
Writing an Essay Synopsis
• A synopsis is
– a summary /overview / condensed version of the
main points of the essay to come
– It should include:
•
•
•
•
a brief introduction
the core argument
the main points
a brief conclusion
Essay Synopsis – MNGT110
• It is based on a case study
• Template
• Formatting: Summers & Smith (2014)
– Font:……….
– Spacing:…………..
– Word count: ……………..
• 750 words (+/-10%) excluding references
– Thus the introduction can be up to ………. words
– The Conclusion can be ……. words
Brainstorm your plan
• Look at the instructions
• How many main sections are there?
• What are these sections?
– Brainstorm each section separately.
– Draft logical order for each section.
– Calculate words for each section.
Use the guidelines to plan the synopsis
• What is the topic of the essay synopsis?
• What are your aims in doing this synopsis?
• Identify two or three management challenges
• Where should you mention them first?
• Explain each challenge.
• Where should you do this?
Link…
• Link each challenge to a relevant management
concept.
– Present a brief, logical overview of how the
elements of the management challenge relate to a
management concept.
– Use a limited number of reliable academic
sources, e.g. textbook
• What is a key characteristic of a paragraph?
• How many paragraphs could you use here?
Body paragraphs
– justify and extend the argument
• Topic Sentence: The challenge & the related
management concept
– Explain the link between them.
– Give supportive evidence from the text book with intext referencing.
• Concluding sentence that re-confirms the link/
Demonstrate understanding
• How would you try to resolve the challenges?
• Justify your strategies using academic
literature.
• Show understanding of a ‘theory-based
approach’
• Literature suggestions: ……………………………
……………………………… ……………………………….
Literature
• The text book
• Academic books
• Academic journal articles
Evaluating your research readings .….
Article 1
Research / topic
question?
Research design /
method or approach?
Type of evidence?
What did the author(s)
do that helps answer the
question?
Findings?
Implications?
Article 2
Article 3
Body paragraphs
– justify and extend the argument
• Topic Sentence:
– The challenge & how you would attempt to resolve it
– Give specific explanations, reasons for strategies
– Give supportive evidence / examples from the
academic literature with in-text referencing
– Critical comments on significance of the strategies
• Concluding sentence that re-confirms the strategy
And within the paragraph, there’s the sentence …
A complete, grammatically correct sentence requires …
Essential
Essential
Essential
Optional
Subject (noun phrase)
Verb phrase
Object (noun phrase)
Adverbial
Somebody
broke
the window
last night
So. Some words about sentencing: the
fragment…
Although the composition of the student body has
changed dramatically.1
“Please explain???”’
1 http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/writing/2a.html
Sentence fragments are usually incomplete
ideas…
Compare the previous version with the
following:
Although the composition of the student body has
changed dramatically, little variation in instructional
techniques has been apparent in Australian
universities until recently.2
2 http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/writing/2a.html
On the other hand, you shouldn’t overpack …
After water is released from the dam it is important
that it is able to move easily downstream. In order
to improve this movement, channel improvements
must sometimes be made, this can involve
straightening bends and removing brush debris or
hazards from the channel.3
3 http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/writing/2b.html
‘Run-on’ sentences contain more than one
complete idea …
After water is released from the dam it is important
that it is able to move easily downstream. In order to
improve this movement, channel improvements must
sometimes be made. This can involve straightening
bends and removing brush debris or hazards from the
channel.4
4 http://unilearning.uow.edu.au/writing/2b.html
Making meaningful sentences...
As a rule, avoid generalities. Dare to be
specific!
For example: Non-English speaking
migrant women are confronted with a vast
array of problems concerning the
workforce and their participation in it.
Noooo!!! Far too general
for an academic essay.
Phrases like “a vast array”
suggest a lack of focus.
The same idea, take 2: Many migrant
women from non-English speaking
backgrounds are subjected to exploitation
in the workplace. They often remain
invisible to unions and other organisations
interested in workplace equity. Often they
will also experience social isolation. Their
difficulties in finding a way to live in ‘this
place’ are reinforced by gender and the
language barrier.
Better. This reworking of
the same idea not only
identifies the main theme
(non-English speaking
migrant women), but also
specifically identifies some
of the problems they
encounter in the workplace.
Useful linking words
• Addition:
– In addition, Furthermore, In fact,
• Contrast:
– However, In contrast, On the other hand,
• Compare:
– Similarly, Also,
• Causation:
– As a result, Consequently, Thus, Accordingly,
• Conclusion:
– In conclusion, In summary, Finally,
Making meaning within sentences…
Leonora walked on her
head, a little higher
than usual.
The driver managed to
escape from the vehicle
before it sank and swam to
the river-bank.
The convict said the
judge is mad.
OR
OR
OR
Leonora walked on, her
head a little higher than
usual.
The driver managed to escape
from the vehicle before it sank,
and swam to the river-bank.
The convict, said the
judge, is mad.
Truss, L 2003, Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Profile Books, London, p. 97.
In summary: don’t let
your reader become
lost & confused:
 Preview key points
in the introduction
 Clearly signpost
these points as
you develop them
through the course
of discussion
 Develop & sustain
your argument
paragraph by
paragraph
Any worries
hanging over from
last week?
We have time to
talk ….