Revise: Vary Sentence Beginnings

WEEK 22 / DAY 2
Revise: Vary Sentence Beginnings
1. Focus (15 minutes)
Objectives
Concepts About Print
• Apply print concepts and
conventions during writing.
Display the modeling text without revisions on chart paper or using the
interactive whiteboard resources. Read it aloud, asking students to follow along
as you read.
Oral Language and Grammar
• Retell information orally.
• Use nouns, verbs, adjectives, and
personal pronouns in complete
sentences.
Purposeful Phonics Connections
• Apply phonics knowledge to encode
unknown words.
• Write high-frequency words.
Reflecting Reading in Writing
• Ask questions.
• Identify main idea and details.
• Use texts as sentence models for
writing.
Writing
• Revise an informational report for
sentence beginnings.
Materials
• Modeling text prepared prior to
lesson (see Focus)
• Students’ drafts of informational
reports (from Weeks 20 and 21)
• Chart paper, markers, and
highlighters
• Interactive whiteboard resources
Families live in many kinds of homes. Some fFamilies live in
mobile homes. Many fFamilies live in apartments. In rural
areas, some fFamilies live on farms.
Modeling Text
Say: We have learned that writers sometimes begin sentences with the same
word over and over. This makes the writing less interesting to read. Look at the
informational report we just read together. How does every sentence begin?
(Allow responses.) This writer begins every sentence with the word Families.
Invite a volunteer to highlight Families at the beginning of each sentence.
Say: I will show you some ways to revise this report by using different sentence
beginnings to make it sound more interesting. Think aloud and model how you
revise sentence beginnings.
Sentence 1. Say: This is my topic sentence, and I need readers to know that I’m
writing about families. This sentence is fine as it is.
Sentence 2. Say: I’m going to change the beginning of this sentence to make it
sound better and also to make it more accurate. Not all families live in mobile
homes. I will revise the sentence to read “Some families live in mobile homes.”
Model making the revision.
Sentence 3. Say: I can vary this sentence beginning, too. I can write “Many
families live in apartments.” This makes the sentence more accurate. I have
been to big cities and I know that many families in the city live in apartments.
Model making the revision.
Sentence 4. Say: I will change this sentence, too. I will add more information
about where these families live. I will write “In rural areas, some families live
on farms.” Model making the revision.
When you finish, ask students to read the revised modeling text with you and tell
you which version they think is better. Say: When we vary sentence beginnings,
the text is more fun for readers to read because it sounds more interesting.
We will talk more about sentence beginnings tomorrow. Today you will look
at another of your reports to see if you need to change the way some of your
sentences begin. Your partner will help you, and so will I!
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Benchmark Writer’s Workshop • Grade 1 • Informational Reports • ©2012 Benchmark Education Company, LLC
Informational Reports
2. Rehearse (10 minutes)
Distribute highlighters and students’ writing folders. Ask each student to choose
an informational report he or she wrote and would like to revise. Ask students
to work in pairs. Say: Decide which report you will revise first. Read that report
together and highlight the first word in each sentence. If you see the same word
over and over, ask each other questions to help you think of other words you
could use. When you are done, do the same thing with the other report. Move
among the pairs of students to monitor and support their efforts.
Sample Responsive Conferring
Prompts to Support and Scaffold
Writers
Goal Oriented
• I will reread my writing and look for places
where I can use different words to start my
sentences.
• I ask myself, “______?”
Directive and Corrective Feedback
3. Independent Writing
and Conferring (15 minutes)
Say: Now make the changes you thought of with your partner. You don’t need
to revise every sentence. Replacing or adding one or two words is fine. That
will make your writing better! If any students have difficulty figuring out what
to revise, ask questions to guide them in the right direction. In addition use
the Sample Responsive Conferring Prompts to help you provide differentiated
support to individual students based on your observations. As students finish,
say: Now reread your report to your partner to show how the new sentence
beginnings you wrote make your report sound more interesting.
4. Share (5 minutes)
Invite two pairs to share their revised reports. Point out and celebrate examples
of varied sentence beginnings. You may wish to provide additional modeling
based on your observations during Independent Writing and Conferring.
• Tell me some words you could use in place
of ______. Now use those words in your
writing.
• How could you change the beginning of this
sentence?
Self-Monitoring and Reflection
• Read your draft and look for words that
repeat several times. Can you fix that?
• Show me where you tried to vary your
sentence beginnings.
Validating and Confirming
• You thought about words you could use in
place of ______. Strong writers use different
words to make their writing more interesting.
• I liked how you asked yourself questions
about the words you could use here.
• You went back and fixed your writing.
Strong writers do that!
Teacher Tip
Create a pronoun chart such as the following
for students to use as a reference.
Who/What
is in my
sentence:
I can use
this subject
pronoun:
I can use
this object
pronoun:
a girl or woman she
her
a boy or man
he
him
someone else
and me
we
us
a group of
people
they
them
an animal,
plant, or object
it
it
©2012 Benchmark Education Company, LLC • Benchmark Writer’s Workshop • Grade 1 • Informational Reports
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