WEEK 22 / DAY 2 Revise: Vary Sentence Beginnings 1. Focus (15 minutes) Objectives Concepts About Print • Apply print concepts and conventions during writing. Display the modeling text without revisions on chart paper or using the interactive whiteboard resources. Read it aloud, asking students to follow along as you read. Oral Language and Grammar • Retell information orally. • Use nouns, verbs, adjectives, and personal pronouns in complete sentences. Purposeful Phonics Connections • Apply phonics knowledge to encode unknown words. • Write high-frequency words. Reflecting Reading in Writing • Ask questions. • Identify main idea and details. • Use texts as sentence models for writing. Writing • Revise an informational report for sentence beginnings. Materials • Modeling text prepared prior to lesson (see Focus) • Students’ drafts of informational reports (from Weeks 20 and 21) • Chart paper, markers, and highlighters • Interactive whiteboard resources Families live in many kinds of homes. Some fFamilies live in mobile homes. Many fFamilies live in apartments. In rural areas, some fFamilies live on farms. Modeling Text Say: We have learned that writers sometimes begin sentences with the same word over and over. This makes the writing less interesting to read. Look at the informational report we just read together. How does every sentence begin? (Allow responses.) This writer begins every sentence with the word Families. Invite a volunteer to highlight Families at the beginning of each sentence. Say: I will show you some ways to revise this report by using different sentence beginnings to make it sound more interesting. Think aloud and model how you revise sentence beginnings. Sentence 1. Say: This is my topic sentence, and I need readers to know that I’m writing about families. This sentence is fine as it is. Sentence 2. Say: I’m going to change the beginning of this sentence to make it sound better and also to make it more accurate. Not all families live in mobile homes. I will revise the sentence to read “Some families live in mobile homes.” Model making the revision. Sentence 3. Say: I can vary this sentence beginning, too. I can write “Many families live in apartments.” This makes the sentence more accurate. I have been to big cities and I know that many families in the city live in apartments. Model making the revision. Sentence 4. Say: I will change this sentence, too. I will add more information about where these families live. I will write “In rural areas, some families live on farms.” Model making the revision. When you finish, ask students to read the revised modeling text with you and tell you which version they think is better. Say: When we vary sentence beginnings, the text is more fun for readers to read because it sounds more interesting. We will talk more about sentence beginnings tomorrow. Today you will look at another of your reports to see if you need to change the way some of your sentences begin. Your partner will help you, and so will I! 54 Benchmark Writer’s Workshop • Grade 1 • Informational Reports • ©2012 Benchmark Education Company, LLC Informational Reports 2. Rehearse (10 minutes) Distribute highlighters and students’ writing folders. Ask each student to choose an informational report he or she wrote and would like to revise. Ask students to work in pairs. Say: Decide which report you will revise first. Read that report together and highlight the first word in each sentence. If you see the same word over and over, ask each other questions to help you think of other words you could use. When you are done, do the same thing with the other report. Move among the pairs of students to monitor and support their efforts. Sample Responsive Conferring Prompts to Support and Scaffold Writers Goal Oriented • I will reread my writing and look for places where I can use different words to start my sentences. • I ask myself, “______?” Directive and Corrective Feedback 3. Independent Writing and Conferring (15 minutes) Say: Now make the changes you thought of with your partner. You don’t need to revise every sentence. Replacing or adding one or two words is fine. That will make your writing better! If any students have difficulty figuring out what to revise, ask questions to guide them in the right direction. In addition use the Sample Responsive Conferring Prompts to help you provide differentiated support to individual students based on your observations. As students finish, say: Now reread your report to your partner to show how the new sentence beginnings you wrote make your report sound more interesting. 4. Share (5 minutes) Invite two pairs to share their revised reports. Point out and celebrate examples of varied sentence beginnings. You may wish to provide additional modeling based on your observations during Independent Writing and Conferring. • Tell me some words you could use in place of ______. Now use those words in your writing. • How could you change the beginning of this sentence? Self-Monitoring and Reflection • Read your draft and look for words that repeat several times. Can you fix that? • Show me where you tried to vary your sentence beginnings. Validating and Confirming • You thought about words you could use in place of ______. Strong writers use different words to make their writing more interesting. • I liked how you asked yourself questions about the words you could use here. • You went back and fixed your writing. Strong writers do that! Teacher Tip Create a pronoun chart such as the following for students to use as a reference. Who/What is in my sentence: I can use this subject pronoun: I can use this object pronoun: a girl or woman she her a boy or man he him someone else and me we us a group of people they them an animal, plant, or object it it ©2012 Benchmark Education Company, LLC • Benchmark Writer’s Workshop • Grade 1 • Informational Reports 55
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