ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Middle Years Band
DOMINIC: WRITTEN PERSONAL RECOUNT
Year Level: Year 8
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Middle Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
DOMINIC: WRITTEN PERSONAL RECOUNT
Language
Genre:
Key features and examples
level of scaffolding
Language for
achieving
different
purposes
schematic structure
organises the text:
• rhetorical questions: And what is the main factor
in global warming?
• conjunctions: First, Next, Finally, In addition
• noun groups in place of conjunctions: Another
reason, One of the main arguments, The
principle cause of the increase
• phrases and dependent clauses of cause: As a
result of the rain, Struggling to survive, Despite
his poor health
• phrases and dependent clauses of time, place,
manner: Born in 1898, When we had finished,
With great care
• topic words: Antarctica, Pollution
• action verbs (in procedures): Slice, Boil
• existential subject to introduce new information:
There
• layout: subheadings, diagrams, pictures
builds cohesion:
• reference items: my, it, they, him, the, this,
these, all of the above
• vocabulary patterns
- synonyms / antonyms
- words that go together: make complaint
- classification: teeth - canines, molars,
premolars, incisors
- composition (whole-part): tooth - enamel,
dentine, pulp, nerve
• conjunctions to join sentences: Next, So,
However, Therefore, Hence
joins clauses to expand information:
• linking conjunctions: and, or, so, and then
• binding conjunctions: because, if, since, when,
so / so that, whenever, though
• relative clauses: The Suez Canal, which was
completed in 1869,…
• non-finite clauses: The team, having seen the
results, felt…, Having seen the results, the
team…, To improve the final product, ...
• projections: Scientists believe that exercise
prevents disease.
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
• independently written as first draft, chosen as an
option following the reading of The Great Gilly
Hopkins
7/8/9
• title, orientation, sequence of events, evaluation,
reorientation
• time, place, manner: On the first day of school,
High School
• topic words: The most nerve racking (wracking)
day, The last few weeks of the school holidays
•
•
reference items: I, me, it, she, here (there), my,
that
vocabulary patterns
- synonyms / antonyms: errupt (erupt) /
explode / blow up
- words that go together: volcano, ready to
erupt (erupt)
• linking: and, but
• binding: because, when, as
• projections: I thought I was going to explode
with…, I thought High School would be so hard
with…, I knew she was saying that because…
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Middle Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
DOMINIC: WRITTEN PERSONAL RECOUNT
Language
Field:
Language for
expressing
ideas and
experiences
Key features and examples
noun groups:
• numbers, describers, classifiers, qualifiers:
television, a book, the pencil, all day, the
children in the water, the children living in the
city, the medical discovery that has had the
most impact
comparatives:
• funnier, slower, more beautiful, best
nominalisations:
• likelihood, growth, development, beauty, risk,
government, capability
verbs:
• action: subtract, peered, scanned, demolish
• mental (sensing): knew, believe, understood,
enjoyed, hated
• saying: said, laughed, shouted, stated, asserted
• relational: are, became, has, consists of,
represents, means
• verbal groups: wanted to improve, tried
estimating
• phrasal verbs: fell in with the wrong crowd, look
it up, put up with, put off, put out
causal relations:
• verbs: led to, brought on
• nouns: the result of the floods, the cause of the
injury
• phrases: because of the heat, in spite of the rain
• dependent clauses: because the weather was
bad, in order to end the suffering
circumstances and clauses:
• when: in 1614, when he arrived
• where: at the sign, standing on stage
• how: carefully, with a fine brush, like a leopard
• with whom / what: with his friend, with their
belongings
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
•
The last few weeks of the school holidays, The
most nerve racking (wracking) weeks I have
ever experienced in my life, the thought of
coming to High school, all these nerves building
up inside of me like a volcano ready to erupt
(erupt), homework up to me (my) ears, a
volcano ready to erupt, a bomb ready to blow
up any second
•
closer, worst, faster, most nerve racking
(wracking)
•
life, thought
•
action: left, came, experienced, erupt (erupt),
racing, got (= reached), hear, ticking, come
mental (sensing): wanted, felt, knew, thought,
wished
saying: tell, said, saying
relational: was, be, I’ve got (= have got), got use
(used) to
verbal groups: going to explode, wanted to go,
let hit, would like to become
phrasal verbs: building up, worry about, blow
up, go throgh (through), get rid of
•
•
•
•
•
•
dependent clauses: because she was happy to
finaaly (finally) get rid of me
•
•
when: when I left Primary School and came to
High school, in my life, On the first day of
School, High School, When I finally got here,
when I got use (used) to all the teachers and
homework, since the first day of school, In (in)
the future
where: outside, As I got closer to the school,
here, faster than Cathy Freeman
how: like a volcano ready to erupt (erupt), like a
bomb ready to blow up any second, faster than
Cathy Freeman, faster than a train, as bad as I
thought
with whom / what: with all these nerves building
up inside of me like a volcano ready to errupt
(erupt), with homework up to me (my) ears, with
it
about what: about it
•
up to my ears
•
direct: my mum said “It will be fine I’ve got
nothing to worry about“ (my mum said, “It will be
fine. You’ve not nothing to worry about.”)
reported: I thought I was going to explode…
•
•
•
metaphors:
• get it off your chest
technical vocabulary:
• digest, high sugar levels, niacin
direct and reported speech:
• direct: The police officer said, “There were no
injuries.”
• reported: The manager of the team said that
they were…
•
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Scale
8 / 9 / 10
ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Middle Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
DOMINIC: WRITTEN PERSONAL RECOUNT
Language
Tenor:
Language for
interacting
with others
Key features and examples
speech functions:
statements, questions, offers, commands
•
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
•
series of statements in mostly accurate simple,
compound and complex sentences
9 / 10
•
•
•
certainty: I thought, it will be, would like to
obligation: had to, have to
inclination: use (used) to, wished
•
feelings, attitudes: nerve racking (wracking),
nothing to worry about, terrifying, so hard, felt
terrible, fine, happy, wasn’t as bad as, doing
OK, worst, successful
idioms, colloquialisms, humour: homework up to
me (my) ears, go through with it, just kidding,
doing OK
names: Cathy Freeman, my mum
subjectivity / objectivity:
subjective: In my opinion
objective: The response of the army
•
•
modality:
• certainty: possibly, it suggests, tend to, might be
able to, I am sure, will
• obligation: necessarily, must, demand, they
forced
• frequency: tendency, typical, always
• inclination: like, willing, preference
interpersonal meaning:
feelings, attitudes: It’s beautiful, very, rude, just,
only, luckily, unfortunately, important, amazing
• idioms, colloquialisms, humour
• culturally specific references: dressed in black
• names to refer to people
•
•
•
appropriateness of tenor
•
effective use of non literal expressions, modality
and evaluative language to paint a vivid picture
and build an appropriate familiar relationship
between the writer and the reader
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ESL Scope and Scales Moderated Evidence: Middle Years Band
Evidence for Scaling
DOMINIC: WRITTEN PERSONAL RECOUNT
Language
Mode:
Language for
creating
spoken and
Key features and examples
tenses:
• primary: past, present, future
• secondary: other tenses eg was sleeping,
wanted to go, haven’t played, was going to have
to play
Examples of evidence demonstrated by student
Scale
•
9 / 10
written texts
•
primary
- past: was, left, came, were, thought, felt,
said, knew, got, wasn’t
- present: is
- future: will tell, will be
- past instead of present: wished
secondary
- accurate: have experienced, was going to
explode, would be, wanted to go, let hit, had
to go through, was racing, was saying, get
rid, got closer, could hear, I’ve been doing,
didn’t have to come, would like to become,
hope to be
- inaccurate: got use to
passive voice:
• active: The heavy rainfall led to some minor
flooding.
• passive: Minor flooding was caused by the
heavy rain.
foregrounding:
• abstract elements: The destruction of the habitat
• conjunctions including those in second place:
Success, on the other hand, …
• phrases and dependent clauses of cause
• phrases and dependent clauses of time, place,
manner including consecutive phrases of time,
place: In Canberra in 1975
• non-finite clauses
• non-human elements: The lathe, Koalas
• human elements: specific We, general People
• action verbs: Draw
• existential subject to introduce new information
• interpersonal elements: In my opinion, Clearly
•
•
•
•
abstract: The thought of coming to High School
time, place, manner: On the first day of school,
As I was in the car, As I got closer to the
school, When I finally got here
non-human: The most nerve racking (wracking)
day, The last few weeks of the school holidays,
My worst subject
human: I
appropriateness of foregrounding
•
appropriate foregrounding of time and self for a
personal recount with some appropriate
foregrounding of abstract and non-human
elements
coherence:
• introduction, topic sentences and conclusion,
and the links between them
•
introduction provides orientation, next two
paragraphs have appropriate topic sentences
and paragraphs maintain appropriate focus,
final brief stages of evaluation and reorientation
not separated from previous paragraph
•
•
handwriting: legible
spelling: mostly correct except for: racking
(wracking), terrifying (terrifying), errupt (erupt)
punctuation: mostly uses capitals, fullstops,
apostrophes, speech marks correctly, misses
comma in direct speech, places some capitals
mid-sentence
print conventions:
• handwriting: letter formation, spacing, direction
• spelling: link to pronunciation and visual
patterns, spelling common and uncommon
words, using prefixes and suffixes
• punctuation: capitals, fullstops, question marks,
commas, speech marks, apostrophes,
semicolons, dashes, links to intonation
• abbreviations: cm, 2nd, eg
•
multimedia / multimodal:
• links between gestures, visual images, physical
objects, sound, light, layout, tables, spoken and
written text
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