Presented at ALGA Eastern Regional Training
April 3, 2015
By Eric Spivak , CIA, CGAP
[email protected] 541.774.6021
County Auditor, Jackson County, Oregon
Class Objectives
Gain an understanding of the fundamental principles
used to:
1. Develop and identify the guiding message
2. Organize information so that if flows logically
3. Produce a well written paragraph
4. Create a visual delivery of critical points
2
Writing is a Multi-Step Process
As audit report writers, what can we learn from the following advice? -
“Write drunk and edit sober or write sober and edit drunk”
3
Writing is a Multi-Step Process
Are great writers born or made?
 The 10,000 hour theory
 “A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.”
Richard Bach
 “In writing, there is art. And in art, there is craft”
Susi Moore
4
Writing is a Multi-Step Process
Think, Plan, Draft, Think, Edit, Think, Final Edit
 Step 1 - Think: What do I want to write?
 Step 2 - Plan: How should I organize the info?
 Step 3 – Draft
 Step 4 – Think: What is working, what isn’t?
 Step 5 – Edit
 Step 6 – Think some more
 Step 7 – Final Edit
5
Some Thoughts on Editing
“Rewriting is what I do best as a writer. I spend
more time revising a novel or a screenplay than I
take to write the first draft.”
John Irving
“There is a saying: Genius is perseverance. While
genius does not consist entirely of editing, without
editing it's pretty useless.”
Susan Bell, The Artful Edit: On the Practice of Editing Yourself
6
Developing the Guiding Message
Step 1 – Thinking (Prewriting)
Step 2 – Planning (Organizing)
Pre-writing, as the name suggests, is a step that
comes before you start writing. The purpose of prewriting is to determine what you want to tell your
audience.
7
Developing the Guiding Message
Thinking and Planning: What You Want To Write
The challenge – Shaping a message from the information
 Audit objectives serve as the North Star
 Fieldwork provides us with the information to write
 Sounds simple, right?
8
Developing the Guiding Message
Effect
Condition
Cause
9
Developing the Guiding Message
Develop a Logic Map to Keep Yourself Grounded
 A should be happening (criteria)
 B is happening (condition)
 Why is B happening when we want A to happen? (cause)
 What is the result of B happening (effect)
 What would it take to make A happen? (recommendation)
10
Developing the Guiding Message
Tools for Thinking and Planning
Brainstorming
Least Structured
(Thinking)
Graphic Organizers
Outlines
(Thinking/Planning)
Most Structured
(Planning)
These three can build upon one another or
they can be used independently.
11
Developing the Guiding Message
Graphic Organizers
Bubble Diagrams and Tree Diagrams
Graphic Organizers are visual tools that help the
user develop an understanding of the relationship
between the pieces of information gained during
audit work.
12
Developing the Guiding Message
Bubble Diagrams
13
Developing the Guiding Message
Tree Diagram
cause
effect
criteria
condition
14
Developing the Guiding Message
The Final Step
Get your manager’s agreement as to what the
message is before proceeding!!!!
15
Developing the Guiding Message
Exercise #1
The supplemental material contains information about a Human Resources
Dept. gathered during a performance audit of the employment application
process. The audit was conducted to determine if the process complies with
county ordinance and whether it is meeting the needs of the county’s operating
departments. The info consists of background information from the county’s
budget book, the county ordinance governing the hiring process, and a summary
of information learned through fieldwork.
Use the information to develop your audit message.
16
Organizing Information Logically
Outlines
Shifting from Thinking to Planning
 Outlines are very effective for organizing information




Present information in a logical order
Identify what additional information is needed
Show the relationship between major idea and supporting detail
Provide a starting point when it is time to write. A well written
outline helps a person overcome ‘blank page syndrome.’
 The investment of time in developing an outline will save
time and reduce frustration during the writing phase.
17
Organizing Information Logically
Tips for writing an outline
When you sit down to write an outline, first write the
audit message on the top of the page. Keep referring
back to it.
2. Use the levels of an outline to move from general to
specific. Think in terms of category / sub-category.
3. Just do it! It is tempting to think that we have the outline
in our heads and therefore don’t need to waste time
writing it out. My advice – write it out. It will keep you
focused and on track and, in the long run, it will save
time.
1.
18
Organizing Information Logically
Exercise #2
Use the supplemental information and the audit message
developed in exercise 1 to develop an outline for an audit
report.
19
Producing a well written paragraph
The three attributes of a well written paragraph are:
1. Cohesion (aka stickiness or unity)
2. Flow
3. Coherence (understandibility)
Cohesion + Flow + Coherence = A well written paragraph
20
Producing a well written paragraph
Cohesion
Paragraph Structure
 In traditional academic writing a paragraph contains 3
parts: introductory sentence, supporting details, and
conclusion.
 In business report writing a paragraph includes a topic
sentence and supporting sentences. It is more of a ‘get to
the point and then fill me in with the details’
approach.
21
Producing a well written paragraph
Cohesion
Paragraph Structure
The proper structure for a paragraph can be described as
pyramid-shaped. The first sentence (topic sentence)
introduces a specific idea. Below the specific idea, we put
all the support (evidence).
22
Producing a well written paragraph
Cohesion –
Topic Sentences
 The topic sentence should include a topic and a
controlling idea.
 The topic is the subject. It is the “who or what” of the
sentence.
 The controlling idea is what sets the limits or the
parameters of what you want to talk about.
 The topic sentence should (when appropriate) express a
specific idea that will give the paragraph direction and let the
reader know what to expect.
23
Producing a well written paragraph
Cohesion –
Topic Sentences
Which do you like better? Why?
The Secretary of State’s Office provides a
unique function within state government.
0r
The Secretary of State’s Office is one of many
state government agencies.
24
Producing a well written paragraph
Topic Sentence Controlling idea
The Secretary of State’s Office provides a
unique
function within state government.
unique function
0r
The Secretary of State’s Office is oneoneof
many
of many
state government agencies.
25
Topic Sentences
Which Should be the Topic Sentence?
 The Motor Pool does not perform an annual inventory




count of vehicles.
There is no policy requiring that the Fixed Asset
Accountant be notified when a vehicle is disposed of.
Each operating division is responsible for keeping its own
inventory listing of vehicles.
Centralized control over the agency’s fleet of vehicles is
lacking.
Upon request, the Procurement Division will procure
vehicles for an operating department.
26
Topic Sentences
Which Should be the Topic Sentence?
 The Department of Corrections has issued a policy
pertaining to facility security that includes searching all
visitors.
 The Department of Corrections has recognized the need to
maintain a high level of security over all its facilities.
 To ensure each facility remains secure in the event of an
emergency, the Department of Corrections has developed
critical incident checklists for potential emergencies.
 The Training Academy maintains the same level of
securing as the prisons.
27
Producing a well written paragraph
Cohesion
Supporting Sentences
• The remaining sentences should contain
details that support the controlling idea.
• Asking yourself, “what is the purpose of the
paragraph?” will help you focus.
28
Producing a well written paragraph
Elements of a cohesive paragraph
First sentence introduces topic
First sentence gives direction as to where the paragraph
is going (controlling idea)
Remaining sentences are all connected to and support
the main idea (concept of unity/cohesion)
No extraneous sentences
29
Flow
30
Producing a well written paragraph
Using flow to improve coherence
“Flow is something the reader experiences, not
the writer.” - Verlyn Klinkenborg
The paragraph structure puts the pieces of
information in a logical order. Transitional
words and phrases connects those pieces.
31
Producing a well written paragraph
Use transitional words and phrases to
 Show cause and effect
 Add items, show similarity, or provide examples
 Move from a general idea to a specific point
 Contrast items or demonstrate exceptions
 Present an alternative point of view
 Indicate a contrast
 Show a sequence or a relationship between items
 Introduce conclusions
32
Flow
Add an item or show similarity
Words and Phrases
accordingly, as a consequence, as a result, because,
consequently, due to, hence, it follows that, since, so, then,
therefore, and thus
in addition to, furthermore, like, moreover, and similarly
Provide examples or to move from a
general idea to a specific point
an illustration of.., for example, for instance, indeed, in
fact, on one occasion, specifically, such as, and that is
Contrast items or document
exceptions
although, but, conversely, despite, even though, however, in
contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, nonetheless, on
the contrary, on the other hand, regardless, still, though,
unlike, yet, while, and whereas
Situation/Purpose
Show cause and effect
Concede or Consider the other point admittedly, it can be said, of course, there are those who
would say.
of view or show opposition
although, but, in contrast, however, nevertheless, rather,
Indicate a contrast or oppose
still, though, whereas
Show sequence or position of items
in relationship to each other
Introduce conclusions
next, after
therefore, in summary, and for the reasons stated above
33
Producing a well written paragraph
Coherence (understandability)
Studies have shown that once a person becomes confused,
he/she is likely to start losing interest. Ensuring that our
paragraphs are coherent will make them easier to read and,
therefore, more likely to hold the reader’s attention.
34
Producing a well written paragraph
Techniques to achieve coherence
 Repeat key words to maintain focus.
 Use synonyms and pronouns to maintain attention.
 Use Definitive Articles (the, this, that, these, and
those) to keep the reader focused on the specific item.
 Present information in a logical ‘straight line’ order.
 Avoid jargon or terminology the reader may not be
familiar with.
 Use the active voice
35
Producing a well written paragraph
Exercise 3
The supplemental material contains 2 pages from an
audit report. Review the page and circle everything the
writer did to improve readability. Make note of other
things the writer could have done to improve readability.
36
Producing a well written paragraph
Coherence
Less words = less confusion
 Eliminate unneeded modifiers
 Change verb tenses that allow you to eliminate
extra words
 Choose the shorter of two synonyms
37
Producing a well written paragraph
Coherence
Don’t muddle the evidence
 Don’t introduce more than one piece of evidence in a
paragraph. The reader is likely to only focus on one
piece.
 Don’t mix types of evidence (statistics, examples,
observations) together in the same paragraph.
 It is better to use many, small indented paragraphs or
bullets rather than one large paragraph. This helps
highlight evidence.
38
Producing a well written paragraph
Which do you like better? This The ratio study is to be completed in accordance with the
Department of Revenue’s Ratio Study Procedure Manual, and
related Oregon Administrative Rules. The Department of
Revenue (DOR) provides a letter of findings and
recommendations to the Assessor after the review of the
study. We reviewed the letters provided by DOR for the 2013
and 2014 ratio study. DOR had no findings and/or
recommendations in regards to the preparation of the ratio
study. Based on our review of the 2014 ratio study, we found
that the preparation of the ratio study complied with DOR’s
procedure manual. We did, however, identify areas for
improvement.
39
Producing a well written paragraph
Or This The Assessor prepared the ratio study in accordance with the
Department of Revenue (DOR) Ratio Study Procedure
Manual and related Oregon Administrative Rules in both
2013 and 2014. DOR, which reviews and then provides a
letter to the Assessor documenting its review of the annual
study, reported no findings nor did it have any
recommendations for either year. Similarly, we reviewed the
2014 preparation of the ratio study and also found it
compliant with the DOR procedure manual.
Though the Study is compliant with DOR requirements, we
did identify areas for improvement.
40
Producing a well written paragraph
What can we do to improve this paragraph?
We reviewed the strategic objectives and outcomes for the
Transition Center reported in the 2014-15 adopted budget.
One strategic objective is to screen offenders for placement
into programs which target their rehabilitation needs. The
outcome reported is the percent of offenders who
successfully complete a program. This implies the percent of
clients who have completed a rehabilitation program, but the
numbers reported are actually the number of clients who
were released from the Transition Center without
absconding. The Transition Center should consider revising
the objective or clarifying the numbers reported.
41
Producing a well written paragraph
Exercise 4
In exercise 2 you developed an outline. Using your outline as a starting
point, write three well-written paragraphs. Each paragraph should have
the elements of cohesion, flow, and coherence.
42
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Basic Tools
 Graphs, Charts, and Tables
 Pictures
 Text Boxes and Callouts
 Simple Flow Charts and Organizational Charts
 Maps
 Links to video clips
43
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
 Line charts - Effective when you want to show
direction over time. A big challenge is scaling the
chart correctly so that the proper perspective is
gained.
Five Year Trend in New Cases
3500
3000
2500
2000
Cases
1500
1000
500
0
2010
2011
2012
2013
2014
2015
44
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Bar charts – Effective when you want reader to visualize
whether quantities are similar or distinct. They are also good
for showing point in time comparisons for the same item
(e.g., comparing quarterly revenue or quarterly output)
Juvenile Intake By Quarter
3 Year Trend
100
90
80
70
60
50
40
30
20
10
0
1st Q
2nd Q
FY12/13
3rd Q
FY13/14
4th Q
FY14/15
45
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Pie charts - Effective when you want to show the
relationship between a part and the sum. Pie charts
don’t work well when there are too many pieces of
the pie.
46
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Area charts – Combine the best elements of a pie
chart and a line chart but it takes more effort for the
reader to decipher the message. They don’t work
well if more than 2 pieces of data are being charted.
47
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Some Additional Points To Consider When Using Graphs
 Avoid the temptation to make the charts too fancy looking.
Remember that you want to make reading easy for your
reader. 3-D charts can be distracting.
 A graph or chart shouldn’t replace verbiage. It should
support it by presenting it in another format for the benefit
of individuals who are more visual.
 Use them sparingly
 Some people find the “stacked bar charts” difficult to
interpret.
48
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Side Bars – Sidebars, as the name implies, involves the use
of the left part of the page to bring small pieces of
information to the reader’s attention. A quote, a sentence,
a fact, or a topic summary are examples of information
often included in a sidebar.
Benefits of Side Bars
 You can get your main points across and reach the
portion of your audience that will only skim the report.
 Reinforces, through repetition, the main points.
 Helps readers quickly find a section of the report. This
is very useful when a group is reviewing the report.
49
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
A Variety of
Workload
Data was
Available to
Determine
Reasonable
Administrative
Staffing Levels
50
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
Use of SideBar Text Box
A formal
performance
measurement system
has not been
developed; however,
other actions have
been taken
Currently, the administrative
supervisor has not had time to
develop a formal performance
measurement system to collect
data on time spent on specific
work tasks. However, the
administrative supervisor has
developed a work plan, provided
written expectations, to
administrative assistants over
general administrative duties……
51
Visual Delivery of Critical Points
County
Administrator
County
Auditor
Sr. Auditor
Sr. Auditor
52
Review of Objectives
Guiding Messages
 Each audit should have a guiding message. Bubble
and Tree diagrams are tools that can help you visually
connect all the pieces of information. Use of this tool
will help you develop the guiding message.
Organizing information
 Outlines are a tool that will help you organize the
information in a linear manner.
53
Review of Objectives
Producing a well written paragraph
 Your job is to make reading easy for the reader. The
reader shouldn’t have to work hard to understand what
he/she is reading.
 Each paragraph should introduce one idea and then
consist of sentences that provide support for that idea.
 Transitional words and phrases will make the
paragraph flow smoothly so the reader knows where
you are taking him/her.
 Summary of graphs, etc
54
Review of Objectives
Visual Aids
 A graph or chart is a tool. You have to decide what is
the proper tool for any given situation.
 Line charts show trends, bar charts show comparisons,
pie charts show the relationship between the part and
the whole.
 Simple is better. The more visual stimulation, the
harder the reader has to work at determining what to
focus on.
55
