The Area 11 A.A. Newsletter
“I am responsible. When anyone,
anywhere, reaches out for help, I want
the hand of A.A. always to be there.
And for that: I am responsible”
I am responsible when…
Anyone: I don’t like everyone in AA (not everyone likes me),
but when somebody calls asking for a ride I need to say “Yes.”
I need to help the man at the other end of the phone, even
if I don’t feel like being trapped in a car talking to him for 20
minutes. If I’m worried it might be unsafe, or that he might
be drunk, I should bring along another sober man. If it’s a
woman at the other end of the phone, I direct her to another
sober woman in AA for help; some female friends in AA have
given me permission to give their numbers out, and that is
where my involvement ends.
Anywhere: I have been fortunate to travel a lot since getting sober. I go to AA meetings while I travel so I don’t drink
(or turn into a jerk) I also go to carry the message of AA as it
was carried to me. My wife (also in AA) and I were in Alaska
several years ago. We decided to go to a meeting listed in
the book. Only one other person attended that meeting:
a woman who was also just passing through town. If my
wife and I had not shown up that woman would have been
alone. I wish I could say I went to the meeting so I could be
of service, but I went simply because that is what I had been
trained to do! On another occasion we went to a meeting in
a church courtyard on a small island. The meeting consisted
of me, my wife, a guy with a few days sober, a guy with 8
months sober, and a chicken. The chicken didn’t share anything profound, but I was struck that the guy with 8 months
sober had to travel to a nearby island to see his sponsor. I
like to think I was “as willing to listen as the dying can be”
but I’m not sure I was ever as willing as that guy we met.
Reaches out for help: I don’t have to recruit anyone into AA.
Throughout AA literature we find references to recovering
alcoholics going out and finding people to help. I suppose
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Vol. 23 No. 3 April - May 2014
there is still a need for that, but there are plenty of people
for me to help without pounding the pavement, looking for
down-and-out drunks. Once a month, I sit at the office for
the Intergroup Association of Fairfield County, answering
the phone (the 866-STEPS-12 number automatically routes
local calls to that office). I often get through a 3-hour shift
without a single incoming call, but if someone does call…
I want the hand of AA always to be there: The hand of AA is
not necessarily the same as my hand. There are women to
help female newcomers, who really don’t need to interact
with me. There is literature to explain sponsorship, though
that literature doesn’t necessarily explain my views on
sponsorship. There are service bodies to print and distribute schedules, though our schedules don’t point out that
my home group is the best group in town. So where does
my hand come in? I can point women in the right direction,
become familiar with AA literature, and get involved with
AA service bodies like Intergroups, Districts and Areas or
committees like Alki-Line, Round-Up, and Website.
And for that: I am responsible.
-Jay
“There Are Those Too”
I came into AA at the behest of the hospital that revived me
from an overdose of olanzapine and perphenazine.
It wasn’t until I heard the phrase, “I didn’t get into trouble
every time I drank, but every time I got into trouble I had
been drinking” that I could identify, that yes, when I took
the overdose, I was drunk.
Psychiatry...ppffffttt. Ha. They did not know ME! They were
impotent. AA however, was not psychiatry.
What surfaced in my life was a ship of hope. The mental
health system was hopeless, they knocked me down to size
and left me there. AA was different. It was there I began
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rebuilding myself. I was convinced that no one wanted me
on the face of this earth, drinking and sick all those years.
I thought the best place for me was the afterlife. It takes
what it takes. I took the elevator to the basement. End of
the Line.
In the basement was a table with a book (AA) and a candle
to read by (Friends in AA). I knew the problem. What I did
not know, until AA, was the Solution. I think that is why they
have a chapter in the book, “There is a Solution”. I’m rebuilding ‘myself’ with God’s help.
The ‘Solution’ for my drinking problem is God or a Higher
Power, and the same solution restores me to sanity. I suffered for years, and now I am full of joy.
-Anonymous
The Wobbly Wheel
Whenever I go to the grocery store, and regardless of where
I grab it (parking lot, entry way, abandoned in dairy), I get
the cart known to many as “The Wobbler”.
become the laughing stock at Customer Service, by bobbing down the aisles looking like I have a .24 blood alcohol
level.
I’m working on it. Serenity Prayer. Chat with someone on
the phone. Know there’s a reason for everything and we
don’t know the final chapter. “The Wobbler” may win this
time, but I have a new trick for my next visit- reusable bags!
Knowing my luck, they’ll rip right when the eggs go in.
-Jim
The Answer
If I was told 29+ years ago that I would have lived these
many years without a drink I wouldn’t have believed it. How
could I celebrate a birthday, a wedding or a holiday without
champagne and cocktails? How to play baseball at a barbecue sans beer? Spaghetti and no wine? No way! I needed “a
little something” to take the edge off my day. A libation to
smooth out the rough edges of life.
“The Wobbler” looks nice and sturdy, but after about two
feet of pushing, one of the front wheels goes into a Tasmanian Devil tail spin. It vibrates so much; my body feels like
it’s on a cheap 25 cent hotel massage bed. Teeth chatter,
shoelaces come undone; lose left contact lens.
The celebrations had become blackouts, denial was my
morning prayer, the rough edges were tearing at me and I
hated the person I had become. I snuck into the rooms to
get answers and kept hearing the same mantra: “Keep coming.” What kind of answer was that, to someone who only
wanted to learn to drink with more dignity? I was young,
attractive, had a beautiful home and family and a very
selective memory.
You’d think after pushing just barely into the store, I’d have
the common sense to just stop and get one that works. Do
I? Nope. Why? Is it I don’t want some poor old lady to deal
with it? I’m lazy?
After a false start, finding out through experience that the
A.A. way was the only way to rid myself of myself, I admitted what I was, and what I always will be. I listened and I
“kept coming”, again and again, a day at a time.
The answer is because I think I can control it, that exchanging it means the cart wins. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let
a non-motorized vehicle have the best of me.
Life has thrown its curveballs at me and I have cried unlimited tears of sorrow. I have also been blessed with the joys
that only being sober can reveal. If it wasn’t for A.A. and sobriety I would not have obtained a professional degree and
been able to support myself as a young widow. My greatest
joy is feeling my grandchildren’s arms around my neck as
they whisper, “I love you so much.” I can lead a conga line
at a party and be asked “how can you have so much fun
without a drink?”
So now I’m aimlessly meandering about the store. I need
detergent, but end up in bakery. I try for the deli; I’m
doomed to veggies. Above all, I need water only to find
myself staring right at the special $13.99 light beer. My ‘Fred
Flintstone Feet’ hit the gas, yet come to a screeching halt in
front of the vanilla extract or cough syrup.
This all leads back to my occasional unwillingness to turn
things over. To give up trying to dominate. To not try and
win battles better left to a guy with a wrench and a can of
WD-40. And I know my Higher Power occasionally puts
broken carts in my path just to see if I’ll put it back or
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I’m blessed that my Higher Power gave me the strength to
“keep coming” to this fabulous life that has unfolded for
almost 30 years, a day at a time. What kind of answer was it
so long ago? The only one.
-Irene B. Woodbury, CT
WWW.AA.ORG
From Hate to Love in 12 Simple Steps
“I hate you! I hate you!” Those are the ugly words I shouted
to my daughter when I “came to” in an emergency room after yet another suicide attempt. I was angry to still be alive.
I hated myself and life. I was angry that my daughter found
me and called the ambulance. My plan did not go as I had
wanted. Today I truly thank God that my plan failed!
Very late in the day I was moved to another facility – a ward
for alcoholics with other problems too. It was a locked ward.
I never was locked-up before. I was very afraid. I couldn’t
sleep and as I sat quietly in the dark of that first night, I had
my first honest realization that I needed help. The first glimmer of surrender I suppose, although I had no clue at the
time. This was the event that led me to Alcoholics Anonymous.
Three days later I was released and was handed my first
schedule book. They said “go to AA and get a therapist”. The
word “alcoholic” was used to describe me. I didn’t want to
believe that I was an alcoholic. I was very scared. I was afraid
that I would not be able to cope without drinking, without
that numbing of mind and soul that alcohol gave me. However, I was more scared not to try. I knew that something
needed to change. I read those 20 questions in the front of
the schedule and surprise surprise I passed. I went to my
first meeting that night and have not stopped since. The fellowship saved me, and taught me, and let me find my own
Higher Power. It has been a number of years now – I took 12
simple Steps to the best of my ability, and I keep trudging
along every day using those same 12 spiritual principles.
The principles guide me to peace of mind, as long as I am
willing to use them.
Today, I am sober. Today, I love myself; I love life. I allow
others to see me and love me. I love my family and friends
and all the sponsors I have had. I love AA. Above all I love
having a Higher Power who loves me unconditionally. Those
12 simple Steps continue to lead me to a “life beyond my
wildest dreams!” Thank you, God! Thank you, Alcoholics
Anonymous!
-Anonymous
Del odio al amor en 12 simples Pasos
“¡Te odio! ¡Te odio!” Esas son las palabras feas que yo le grité
a mi hija cuando “volví en sí” en una sala de emergencia
después de otro intento de suicidio. Yo estaba enfadada de
estar viva todavía. Yo me odiaba a mí misma y a la vida. Yo
estaba enojada que mi hija me encontró y llamó a la ambulancia. Mi plan no resultó como yo quería. ¡Hoy realmente
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agradezco a Dios que mi plan fracasó!
Muy tarde en el día me trasladaron a otra instalación – una
sala para alcohólicos con otros problemas también. Era
una sala encerrada bajo llave. Yo nunca antes había estado encerrada. Tenía mucho miedo. No podía dormir y
mientras estaba sentada callada en la oscuridad de aquella
primera noche, pude darme cuenta por primera vez de
forma honesta que yo necesitaba ayuda. El primer destello
de rendición supongo, aunque en ese momento yo no
tenía ni idea. Este fue el evento que me llevó a Alcohólicos
Anónimos.
Tres días después me dieron de alta y me entregaron mi
primer libro de horarios. Ellos me dijeron “ve a AA y consigue un terapista”. La palabra “alcohólica” era utilizada para
describirme. Yo no quería creer que o era una alcohólica. Yo
tenía mucho miedo. Tenía miedo de no poder salir adelante
sin beber, sin ese adormecimiento de la mente y del alma
que me daba el alcohol. Sin embargo, me daba más miedo
no intentarlo. Yo sabía que algo tenía que cambiar. Yo leí
aquellas 20 preguntas al frente de libro de horarios y vaya
sorpresa yo pasé. Yo fui a mi primera reunión aquella noche
y no he parado desde entonces. La comunidad me salvó, y
me enseñó, y me permitió encontrar mi propio Poder Superior. Han sido unos cuantos años ya – yo tomé 12 simples
Pasos a mi mejor capacidad, y sigo caminando arduamente
cada día usando esos mismos 12 principios espirituales. Los
principios me guían hacia la paz mental, siempre y cuando
yo esté dispuesta a seguirlos.
Hoy yo estoy sobria. Hoy me amo; amo a la vida. Les
permito a otros que me vean y que me amen. Yo amo
a mi familia y amigos y a todas las madrinas que he
tenido. Amo a AA. Sobre todo yo amo tener un Poder
Superior que me ama incondicionalmente. ¡Aquellos
12 simples Pasos siguen guiándome para tener una
“vida más allá de la que jamás soñé!” ¡Gracias, Dios!
¡Gracias, Alcohólicos Anónimos!
-Anonymous
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Mail: ATTN: Alki-Line, 112 East Main St., Meriden, CT 06450
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This newsletter is by and for alcoholics; however, we review
submissions by all interested in the A.A. program of recovery.
Material may be edited for clarity and length. This newsletter
and earlier issues can be printed from the Area 11 website:
www.ct-aa.org
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Oh Chemistry
Soberfest 2014 and Beyond
On my way home from an ego defeating, failed lab experiment at school, I struggle to not run with the thoughts of
suicide. Of course, my go-to thinking whenever I feel crappy is: How can I change this feeling? Well I could drink…
but I won’t be able to stop, so the next best thing is suicide.
I don’t share this to glorify my mind’s need for drama or
showcase my inability to cope. I write this to thank others
who have come before me. Not just the alcoholics who
taught me how to live sober, but also those who taught me
that I, too, can attend college.
Hi, my name is Greg, and I am an alcoholic. I would like to
thank The Alkiline for giving me some space to share about
Soberfest. Soberfest is happening June 6th, 7th, and 8th,
2014 at Camp Odetah, in Bozrah, CT. Soberfest is a funfilled family camping weekend. There are cabins, yurts, as
well as tent and RV sites available. You can also come for
the weekend or just a day, if you would like to commute.
We have keynote speakers on Friday and Saturday night,
Early-Timers Saturday afternoon, and Spiritual speakers Sunday morning. We will have Marathon Meetings
throughout the weekend. There will be dances on Friday
and Saturday nights.
Before the semester starts I am always filled with gratitude
when I think of how I came to AA a high school drop-out. I
am now starting a second level chemistry course. But when
I struggle with concepts and I study my brains out only to
get something less than an A, my world crumbles. How is
my GPA related to my self-worth? Is it a lack of connection
with a Higher Power that would otherwise let me know
everything will be ok? I don’t know.
I do know I have seen other alcoholics come before me
and graduate college, but as I write this I think, well none
of them had a ninth grade education like I do… I’m unique.
Thankfully, AA has proven to me I am not unique and others have shown me that I can do this.
-Anonymous
SAVE THE DATE!
***More info always available at www.ct-aa.org***
2014 District 4 Gratitude Breakfast
Saturday, April 12, 2014
9:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
St. Therese Church (I-95, Exit 56)
105 Leetes Island Road, Branford, CT
Spring Assembly
Sunday May 18, 2014
VFW, New Britain, CT
SoberFest 2014
June 6-8, 2014
Odetah Camping Resort, Bazrah, CT
WWW.CT-AA.ORG
The Camp Odetah facilities include: a playground
for kids, swimming, mini-golf, as well as many other
showers, laundry facilities and outlets and hook ups at
the sites.
And I almost forgot to mention, there is also a golf
tournament starting on Friday morning. There are
separate registration forms for golf. The registration
forms should be available through your GSR. If they
ran out, both event and golf registration forms are
available online at ct-aa.org. I want to thank you in
advance for pre-registering, it helps us very much. I
would also like to thank Alanon for their participation.
When I first got sober, I thought the fun I once had was
over. Soberfest proved me wrong! I was very fortunate
to get involved with Soberfest very early in my recovery, and have been involved since. I have met so many
great people, working on the committee, and also at
the event, over the past 16 years. Being involved with
Soberfest has been both fun and rewarding! My job
was easy this year; it was all of you who make Soberfest a great Area 11 event. I am looking forward to
seeing everyone in June!
When you come this year, I hope you will enjoy the
event as much as I do. And if you are looking to add
some service work to your program, please feel free
to join us at our wrap-up meeting Sunday after our
speakers. We will be looking for help to put on Soberfest 2015. Thereafter, our meetings are the first Sunday of the month, starting in November, at the Area 11
office in Meriden.
It is my honor and privilege to serve as the 2014 Area
11 Soberfest Chairperson. Thank you, Greg G.
-Greg G., 2014 Area 11 Soberfest Chairperson
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