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Big Nate
the Musical
Book
Jason Loewith
and
Lincoln Peirce
Music
Chris Youstra
Lyrics
Jason Loewith and Chris Youstra
WORKING DRAFT / NOT A FINAL VERSION
SAMUELFRENCH.COM
SAMUELFRENCH-LONDON.CO.UK
Big Nate
y
l
the Musicaln
O
y
!
p
e
Book
o
t
a
C
c
i
l
Jason Loewith
Lincoln
Peirce
l
a
p
s
u
u
Music
r
D
e
t
Youstra
P NChris
o Lyrics
o
D Loewith Chris Youstra
Jason
and
and
Commission for Adventure Theatre.
Based on the cartoons and books by Lincoln Peirce
WORKING DRAFT / NOT A FINAL VERSION
United States & Canada
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1-866-598-8449
United Kingdom & Europe
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020-7255-4302
Copyright © 2014 by Jason Loewith, Lincoln Peirce, and Chris Youstra
All Rights Reserved
BIG NATE - THE MUSICAL is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of
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Characters (7 actors – 4 M / 3 F)
NATE WRIGHT
TEDDY “√” ORTIZ/Mr. Galvin
FRANCIS BUTTHURST POPE/Mrs. Hickson/Mrs. Shipulski (Voiceover)
ARTUR PASHKOV/Marty Wright/Mr. Staples/Spitsy/Calvin
GINA HEMPHILL-TOMS/Mrs. Czerwicki/Galvinator #1
JENNY/Coach John/Pickles/Galvinator #2/Principal Nichols (Voiceover)
ELLEN WRIGHT/Mrs. Godfrey/Galvinator
Synopsis
Production Notes
D
O
FO
R
PE
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U
FO
O
SA
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PE
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U
O
O
P
N
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LY
N
IC
U
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SA
AT
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PL
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IC
AT
E
Nate Wright, a detention-riddled sixth grader (and drummer for the
greatest garage band in the history of
f the
th galaxy, Enslave the
t
Mollusk!) hopes to capture beautiful
heart by winning “The
ul
l Jenny’s
Je
Jen
Nicholodeon”, the first prize in his school’s
Battle of the Bands.
s
But when Artur and Jenny team up with
Gina to form
wit Nate’s
’s arch-rival
a
the sap-pop band Rainbows and
he’s
take his game to an
d Ponies,
Poni
’s gotta
go
all-star level. Using his superior
cartoon
supe
super
artoon
rtoon skills,
s,
, Nate concocts a
super-charged, spectacular
ar dedication
de
on to Jenny during
durin his song’s
climax, which will blow
and
away
make Jenny
ow
w Rainbows
Ra
Rai
nd Ponies
Po
way and
a
an
realize her mistake. But since it’s Nate
Wright,
N
right,
ght, the plan
lan backfires,
and Enslave the Mollusk
manages
ollusk
llusk gets disqualified.
disqu
disqua
d. Nate
Na
N
ages to
t snatch
victory from the
e jaws
jaw of defeat
feat with a little
littl honest
st help
hel from Artur.
Nate and his band
The
Artur for his
and win
w
e Nicholodeon,
Nich
n, but Jenny rewards
rewa
rewar
honesty by agreeing to “have
“hav steadiness”
iness with him.
iness”
As Nate is himself a brilliant
iant cartoonist
nist – and the plot hinges on the
revelation of his drawing skills
– the
script features a number of
ki
he s
images. These can be achieved via
printed images on posters or
ia
a pri
pr
revealed on sets and props (like lun
lunchboxes, flats or chair backs),
lu
via projections, or via other creative means. The premiere production
used images on foam core held by actors, along with projections.
Lincoln Peirce has drawn custom images which are available for use by
post-premiere productions.
Although there are many locations specified in the script, the
premiere production set design is a non-naturalistic classroom, which
the actors rotate to reveal Nate’s garage. The set from Adventure is
designed to tour. The authors intend scenes to move fluidly and
encourage less set, more rhythm.
SONGLIST
LY
N
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PL
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AT
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SA
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N
O
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E
O
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D
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FO
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PE
PL
R
U
IC
SA
AT
L
E
O
N
LY
“Dream Prologue: Yak Yak Yak Yak”
“Another Day in the Life of Big Nate”
“I Like Boys (Except For You)”
“Gotta Be a Perfect Student (For a Week)”
“Even Year Old Cheez Doodles Are Better Than Love”
“Even Year Old Cheez Doodles Are Better Than Love (The Bitter
Reprise)”
“It’s Your Day”
“Rock Star”
“It’s Our Day”
“Pascal’s Law”
“Love Is a Four-Letter Word”
“I Like Boys (Especially You)”
“Another Day in the Life of Big
g Nate”
Nate (Reprise)
rise
PROLOGUE:
NATE’S NIGHTMARE
NATE WRIGHT is sleeping in bed, in a tight spotlight. Around him on
the set we see some of his doodles like “Nate the Great,” etc. From
the darkness, quietly, we hear NATE’S TEACHERS speaking the following,
each at their own particular pace and with their own particular
teaching personality.
THE TEACHERS
yak
quack quack
yak
quack quack
L
D
PE
U
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LY
N
IC
U
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SA
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PL
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IC
AT
E
Yak yak yak
Quack quack
Yak yak yak
Quack quack
The TEACHERS repeat the phrase, slowly
in volume.
owly
wly growing
g
chord.
SA
NATE (waking
N
aking up)
I thought I heard
hear my teachers.
eacher
acher
U
That’s funny.
A musical
PE
R
NATE covers his head with his
pillow.
h
low.
O
N
O
FO
T
R
MR. GALVIN, MRS. GODFRE
GODFREY, MRS.
CZERWICKI, COACH
JOHN,
. CZE
COA
COAC
, MR. STAPLES and
MRS. HICKSON slowly
from the shadows,
owly emerge
e
adows,
dows, their “Yak Yaks” growing
louder.
D
O
FO
yak
quack quack
yak
quack quack
R
D
Yak yak yak
Quack quack
Yak yak yak
Quack quack
TEACHERS
THE T
S
The TEACHERS begin to converge on
NATE from behind.
n N
NA
blend and become in unison. Then:
Yak yak NATE yak
Quack quack NATE quack
Yak NATE quack NATE
WHAT’S THE ANSWER YOU NATE?
Um, seven?
Ben Franklin?
NATE
Dangling participle???
ALL THE TEACHERS
WRONG!
Their chants
“YAK YAK YAK YAK”
Musical chord! The teachers each pull out a stack of detention slips
from their pockets.
MRS. CZERWICKI
DETENTION!
MR. GALVIN
DETENTION!
MRS. HICKSON
DETENTION!
COACH JOHN
AT
E
DETENTION!
N
PL
WE ALL SAY DETENTION!
LY
IC
MRS. GODFRE
GODFREY/MR. STAPLES
GODFR
S
ST
IC
PL
D
U
PE
FO
R
D
RIIIIIIP!
O
F
As they rip a deten
detention slip off
of their pads:
det
o
AT
L
R
U
SA
N
O
T
D
DETENTION FOR NATE!
E!
!
E
U
O
THE TEACHERS
RS
S
D
O
N
O
T
They shower NATE in his bed with detention
ion
on slips.
sl
NATE (from his nightmare)
THE TEACHERS (sotto)
Yak yak yak yak
Quack quack quack quack
Yak yak yak yak
Quack quack quack quack
Yak yak yak yak
Quack SNORT quack quack
Yak yak knick-knack
Quack spittle trick-track
(Vamp continues)
LY
But Mrs
Mrs. Godfrey…
Mr
can’t have been a very important
He c
President
t if he didn’t get his face
Pr
on any mone
money.
O
N
LY
E
AT
PL
R
D
U
PE
T
But Mrs. Czer
Czerwicki! How was I
Bu
B
supposed
sed
ed to know those fireworks
would
mess up your pacemaker??
ld
d mes
me
D
O
N
O
R
FO
IC
U
O
N
O
D
MRS. CZERWICKI (spoken)
oke
EIGHT-TEEN!
SA
L
D
T
R
FO
(out of breath)
(ou
reath)
eath)
Blurg! Ack! Ooompf!
B
pf!
f! I can’t do any
more pushu
pushups, Coach
John, I’m gonna
ach Jo
puke!
ke!
U
PE
PL
R
COACH JOHN (spoken)
en)
n)
SEVEN-TEEN!
E
AT
U
IC
SA
L
O
N
MRS. GODFREY (spoken)
SIX-TEEN!
THE TEACHERS (sotto)
NATE (from his nightmare)
Yak yak yak
Quack quack
Yak yak yak
Quack quack
yak
quack quack
yak
quack quack
Yak yak yak yak
Quack SNORT quack quack
Yak yak knick-knack
Quack spittle trick-track
(Vamp continues)
LY
How can
ca I demonstrate fractions if I
can’t
saw my assistant in half, Mr.
an’t s
Staples?
Stap
IC
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PL
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O
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D
O
FO
E
AT
O
N
LY
L
SA
I wasn’t asleep
p Mr. Galvin! I’m just
demonstrating
inertia! That’s
demons
demon
g iner
physics, right?
phys
ight?
ight
R
D
Musical Flourish!
AT
U
D
O
O
ALL THE TEAC
TEACHERS
TE
TWENTY-ONE!
N
FO
T
R
PE
PL
R
U
TWEN-TY!
We need
COMIC BOOKS
in the library,
eed C
O
OOK
Mrs.
Hickson! “Fem
“Femme Fatality” is WAY
s. Hi
rs.
“Femm
better than
bette
“Anna Karenininenin..in..en..a.”
“An
eninin
ninin
in
IC
MRS. HICKSON (spoken)
SA
L
E
O
N
MR. STAPLES (spoken)
NINE-TEEN!
NATE
THE TEACHERS
No! It wasn’t a food fight! It
was just a... fight with food!
ANNOUNCING AN ALL-TIME SCHOOL
RECORD:
But it was meatloaf day!
DETENTION NUMBER TWENTY-TWO
FOR THE EVER-CHARMING,
AWESOMELY-TALTENTED, SUPREMELY
UNLUCKY NATE WRIGHT!
Meatloaf!
Meatloaf!
Meatloaf!
M
Mea
E
AT
IC
PL
U
D
T
O
N
D
O
FO
R
D
PE
O
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N
U
O
T
SA
L
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O
N
PL
LY
IC
AT
E
As the teachers depart, they go
back to their original ‘Yak
yaks’ and ‘Quack quacks’
SCENE ONE
The sound of an alarm clock.
NATE
Oh man, what a NIGHTMARE!
(NATE notices the audience, and music resumes:
jaunty, fun.)
E
O
N
LY
“ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF BIG NATE”
Hi guys. I’m Nate Wright, aka the king of Detention. Everybody calls
me that. Even though it’s not my fault. Really. Did you see those
guys? Coach John, the world’s least athletic gym teacher? He majored
in dodgeball and minored in medieval tort
torture. And Mr. Galvin? The
tor
ninety-eight-pound egghead? And don’t
get me started on Mrs. Godfrey –
n’t
’t ge
g
the fire-breathing dragon of home
e room.
room
MRS.
comes in, like a
RS. GODFREY
GO
N
AT
PL
IC
L
SA
U
R
O
T
D
U
PE
N
FO
R
No matter how hard he
e tries
trie
He can’t change his fate
at
Cause it’s another crummy day
ay
y
In the life of Big Nate!
E
O
U
D
T
O
N
D
O
FO
R
PE
GODFREY
MRS. G
It’s another day of tortu
torture just
t for
Poor Nate Wright
I’ll make sure it is
isn’t easy
isn
sy to
Endure, Nate Wright!
rig
righ
LY
AT
PL
R
U
IC
SA
L
We hear monster roars, screams,
ms,
s, etc.
et
e
fire-breathing dragon.
D
O
[She laughs the laugh of Godzilla,
the streets of Tokyo with
a, trampling
tr
tra
unabashed glee, and hobbles off.]
]
NATE
And that was her on a GOOD day. She clearly doesn’t understand that
I’m a genius. But hey, even a brilliant mind like MINE can get a
little fried with all the stuff I’ve got going on, like intramural
fleeceball (cartoon flash) and my amazing garage band – called
“Enslave the Mollusk” (cartoon flash), which is a pretty cool name
don’t you think?. I’m a 6th grade Renaissance Man.
Mrs. Godfrey thinks I’m a chronic screw-up, but she hasn’t seen this.
(He pulls out a small slip of paper, accompanied by a musical sting.)
This is a fortune from a Chinese Fortune Cookie. Not one of those
lame, fake fortunes, like, “Hard Work Is Its Own Reward” – I mean,
does that make any sense to you? Think about it.
Anyway, this is a real fortune: “You Are Destined for Greatness.”
That’s my kind of fortune cookie.
I’m gonna be the greatest, call me
Big Nate Wright
Come sooner or come latest I’ll be
Great Nate Wright
L
D
PE
U
O
P
N
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LY
N
IC
U
O
SA
AT
T
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D
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U
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PL
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IC
AT
E
I’ll conquer every challenge
Yeah!
Cause that is my fate, so call me
Totallyawesomestupendousyougotit or
r just
jus Big Nate
U
R
Nate
big big Nate
Nate
big big Nate!
PE
Big
Big
Big
Big
SA
COMPANY
COM
R
D
O
N
O
FO
T
R
NATE
N
NA
The problem with
is:
happen.
h destiny
dest
des
: you
yo don’t
y
t know when it’s gonna
g
So until it does,
trying to survi
survive sixth
without going
es, I’m just
st try
th grade
gra
gr
crazy. And why should I go crazy? Well,
here
Wel
Well
e comes
come reason number
one:
FO
GINA appears, walking to school
very confidently.
hool
ool v
nfiden
fiden
behind her.
MRS. GODFREY walks
D
O
Gina is my arch-nemesis. She’s a total
brainiac – I mean, who studies
tot
tota
during recess? And she lives to get
ge me in trouble with Mrs. Godzilla,
who’s president of the Gina fan club:
GINA
Mrs. Godfrey, may I present you with this fine, shiny Red Delicious
Apple, as a symbol of your devotion to the youth of America?
MRS. GODFREY
In decades of teaching, I have rarely come across a student with such
innate intelligence and good manners. (She turns to NATE and snarls
like a monster. Then back to GINA) You are truly destined to be –
NATE
A FIRST-CLASS SUCK-UP FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
GINA/MRS. GODFREY
It’s another day of torture, that’s for
Sure, Nate Wright
We’ll make sure it isn’t easy to
Endure, Nate Wright!
LY
No matter how hard he tries
He can’t change his fate
Cause it’s another crummy day
In the life of Big Nate
COMPANY
MPANY
N
O
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PL
R
GINA and MRS. GODFREY exit.
exit
LY
IC
SA
AT
L
E
O
N
Nate
big big Nate
Nate
big big Nate!
U
Big
Big
Big
Big
U
R
E
D
U
PE
PL
R
AT
IC
SA
L
D
N
O
D
FRANCIS appears.
O
FO
T
R
NATE
N
NA
Luckily there’s an a
antidote to that
gruesome
an
t
uesome
esome twosome:
me: my
m two best
friends. They ma
school a litt
little less
make going
g to s
s horrifying.
hor
T
O
N
D
O
FO
That’s Francis, my best friend
since kindergarten.
He’s just as smart
end
nd si
s
nderga
derga
as Gina, but he’s not obnoxious
xious about it. Well… he sorta does get
carried away:
FRANCIS
FRA
Hey Nate, did you know that each year, more people die in vending
machine accidents than shark attacks? Or that it’s possible to lead a
cow upstairs but not downstairs? Though why you’d lead your cow
upstairs is a bit unclear to me – oh, and this is really fascinating that the dot over the letter “i” is called a “tittle”? I’ve always
wondered NATE gives him a giant wedgie.
friendly way.
FRANCIS screams, they tussle in a
NATE
He just can’t help himself… so I do.
FRANCIS
It’s another day of fleeceball for the
Great Nate Wright
We will conquer foes together he’s my
Mate, Nate Wright
No matter what he does
He’s always fighting his fate
It’s just another awesome day
In the life of Big Nate
LY
TEDDY appears. FRANCIS and NATE continue to tussle.
SA
AT
L
E
O
N
Teddy’s my A1 best friend – which just
means I met him after I met
ust m
Francis – and he’s a riot, especially
ially when he laughs. He sounds like
a constipated llama.
N
AT
IC
PL
D
U
PE
N
O
T
R
FO
L
SA
U
R
N
O
D
No matter what he does
es
He’s always fighting his fate
It’s just another awesome day
ay
y
In the life of Big Nate!
E
O
U
D
O
FO
T
R
PE
PL
R
TEDDY
EDDY
He’s a screw-up but I lov
love him, the A
AMazing Nate Wright
t
We’re a trio: Francis,
Teddy
ranci
rancis
dy an
and the
Crazy Nate Wright
ght
LY
U
IC
TEDDY gives NATE a huge wedgie,
laugh.
dgie, and laughs
aughs
ughs his distinctive
sti
t
D
O
NATE
ATE
I may not be Joe Honor Roll, but I A
AM a brilliant cartoonist.
here’s Teddy:
Look,
A cartoon image of TEDDY appears looking silly, teasing him a bit.
And here’s Francis:
Another image, this one of FRANCIS.
Not bad, right?
Oh… and here’s Gina:
Another image, a total rip on GINA.
I’m sort of a comic genius.
Suddenly, as if descending from a cloud on high, JENNY enters,
carrying an image of herself. Harps, angelic music, the whole shtick.
She floats across the stage, completely ignoring NATE.
That’s. SIGH.
Jenny.
Jenny Jenkins.
FRANCIS & TEDDY
(ala “Maria” from West Side Story)
N
NATE
TE
I don’t love Jenny.
ny. I just think she’s my soulmate.
E
O
Gimme a break!
LY
That’s Jenny!
The girl that Nate loves, her name’s
Jenny!
LY
N
AT
L
E
O
U
D
R
PE
PL
R
U
IC
SA
AT
L
FRANCIS & TEDDY
F
TED
(again, to the tune of “Maria”,
of a lovestruck NATE)
ria” showing
ng
g images
ima
Whatever!
Nate’s fallen in love, yeah,
yeah
yea
Whatever!
IC
PL
U
D
PE
O
R
N
U
O
FO
T
SA
NATE (back
back to us)
It doesn’t matter,
all
hung up on
Artur,
the
ter because
ter,
se Jenny’s
Jen
ll hun
n A
Art
rt
Byelorussian Butthead.
FO
D
T
R
ARTUR enters, carrying
of himself.
g a cartoon
oon image
im
himse
D
O
N
O
He’s an exchange student, and I have no idea
ide why Jenny likes him.
id
Just because he’s, like, incredibly smar
smart, extremely courteous, and
the top-rated chess champion in some
country in the middle of
ome huge
h
Eastern Europe.
ARTUR
Actual, country is not huge so much. Barely seven million people.
Liking Nate I am because he’s
Wright great Nate
If my words they do not sense make he’s still
Great Wright Nate
Such awesome guy he make me cry
So artsy and so smart
He’s so very dory hunky he is
Nate Great Big.
A distant bell rings.
Ah, it is time for the room of home!
JENNY
Artur, that is so sweet!
NATE (slapping his forehead)
[Thwak!]
D
O
LY
N
E
AT
IC
PL
N
O
T
D
U
PE
R
FO
Nate
big big Nate
Nate
big big Nate!
E
L
SA
U
R
N
O
D
Big
Big
Big
Big
O
U
D
O
FO
T
R
PE
PL
R
U
No matter how hard he tries
s
He can’t change his fate
For the unparalleled
Incomparable
Simply irresponsible
ble
le
Somewhat irresistible
stibl
stible
Absolute unbeatable
tab
tabl
And rather inconceivable
le
Surely unbelievable
The great Nate Wright!
!
IC
SA
AT
L
O
N
LY
COMPANY
It’s another day of teasing for our
Mate Nate Wright
It’s never easy – breezy, not for
r
Great Nate Wright
SCENE TWO
Homeroom. NATE is basking in the glow
of his song while TEDDY and FRANCIS
assemble homeroom around him.
FRANCIS
C’mon, Nate!
TEDDY
I don’t think you’re looking for detention twenty-three, are you?
ARTUR and JENNY enter.
L
D
PE
U
O
P
N
R
L
LY
N
IC
U
O
SA
AT
T
L
D
E
U
O
PL
N
LY
IC
AT
E
ARTUR
R
Jenny, it is pleasure for I being carry-stool
for you.
carry
arryJENNY
JEN
SA
Artur, you’re so chivalrous!
PE
R
U
NATE observes this, gets
annoyed, and
turns around,
furiously.
s anno
nd tur
und, drawing
d
FO
T
R
Chival-what?
N
O
JENNY
Y
It means...
well, it just m
means you’re a nice guy.
..
. wel
we
D
O
Nice guy.
ARTUR
ART
AR
Hokay, good.
FO
Ah!
R
Chivalrous!
ARTUR
ARTU
D
O
NATE faces forward, showing JENNY
a drawing
of himself on a horse as
J
draw
if he were Sir Galahad. GINA enters.
ers.
rs.
NATE
I’m chivalrous too, Jenny!
JENNY rolls her eyes and ignores him, sitting down.
the shoulder.
Nate!
ARTUR pats him on
ARTUR
You are always so FUNNY being! Party of life as they say!
GINA
“Party of doofus, table for one, please.”
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