Some people think that teachers should be responsible for teaching students how to
judge right and wrong and how to behave well. Some say that teaches should only
teach students about academic subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
There is growing tendency for people to believe that it is the teachers’
responsibility to teach students right behaviors and distinguish between right
and wrong. While others say these should be taught by families and other
community members rather than teachers. In my opinion, I strongly believe that
teacher’s role is much more than teaching academic subjects. (While some
people advocate that transmit academic knowledge is the only responsibility of
school teachers, I believe that teacher’s role is much more than that.)
It cannot be doubted that the main job for teachers is to increase academic
knowledge for students. At first place, students go to school to gain knowledge
and skills that are required for further study or employability. Additionally,
teachers, who are equipped with expertise, specialize in passing on knowledge in
different subjects. Therefore, it is not strange for people to argue that teachers
are only called for teaching academic subjects.
Although academic performance is highly valued for a student, a person who
does not have the ability to judge right and wrong is considered useless. In my
point of view, there are two reasons why teachers should shoulder the burden of
comprehensive education. Firstly, time that is spent by students in school
exceeds any other part of their life during that age. It is natural that students will
be influenced more by the people who they spend more time with. Parents are
getting increasingly busier; therefore, young people spend even less time at
home and more time in school. Thus, education of right judgment and socialfriendly manner fall mostly on the teacher. Secondly, education of social
knowledge and skills requires environment. At home, it would be almost
impossible to teach children teamwork if he/she is the only child. When it comes
to school, classroom is like a small community where teamwork or conflicts may
happen regularly. Teachers, who is the only adult in that community, become
essential in shaping students’ judgment and behavior.
In a nutshell, academic knowledge can only be gained through the teaching of
teachers. Moreover, teachers also play a significant role in shaping students’
judgment and social-friendly manner. (Repeat your opinion as you stated in the
introduction. Keep consistency.)
You will only get 5.5 in your TR as some contents are off the topic.
With some cohesive issues, you may only get 6 in your CC. I mentioned in the
class that:
Do not use the following phrases instead of "Firstly" when you are organising ideas
in an essay:



At first
Initially
In the beginning
Comment [J1]: Not relevant to the
topic—just simply answer the question
in front of you.
Comment [J2]: Repetition.
Comment [J3]: Responsibility
Comment [J4]: impart
Comment [J5]: firstly,
Comment [J6]: in order to
Comment [J7]: the main purpose of
students attending schools for study is to
gain knowledge in various fields for their
further study, jobs or own interests.
Comment [J8]: Understandable that
why
Comment [J9]: Read the topic
question again. It asks you to discuss the
teachers’ responsibility here, not what
characters students need to develop.
Comment [J10]: Their teachers rather
than their parents or other people.
Therefore, teachers have the duty to
provide children knowing the right from
wrong and how to act in a socially
responsible manner.
Comment [J11]: Forget about
“parents” here. And also when you read
this sentence then you read the topic
question again, you should it is nonrelevant content. I still think that this
sentence have cohesive problem – the
cause and effect doesn’t exist.
Comment [J12]: See above.
Comment [J13]: Play the role of
guardians


At the beginning
In the first place
These phrases do exist in English, but they are not the same as "Firstly".
In the same way, do not use these phrases instead of "Finally":




At last
At the end
In the end
In the last place
You don't need to learn different ways to say "Firstly" or "Finally". The examiner is
not looking for 'difficult' organisational phrases. Spend your time learning topic
vocabulary instead.
Once you have no problems with those things I mentioned above, then work on your
language (LR + GRA)