NEWfunAprilAV3/06
4/19/06
8:57 AM
Page 1
April 2006
The
Mortem Post
Focusing on issues important to all members of the Funeral Service Profession
The (Student) Reaper Wears Pink
Kristy Lee Hochenberger
Being a funeral-director-in-training,
meaning in the stillness, the paleness, and
it’s safe to say I deal with death on a daily
the expiration of life. Sometimes there is
basis. At school I deal with the business
nothing more profound than the silence
and practical aspect, and at work I deal
of the prep room; the silence that speaks
with the actual aspect — the grieving
with memories of the person lying before
families, helping arrange cars in
me. The wedding
the procession, dusting off the
On The Road... rings always get to
caskets in the selection room.
me. Oftentimes we
Sometimes the home will
will get a body with
send me off to fetch signed death
nothing on it but
certificates from doctors. As an
wedding rings, and it
unlicensed funeral student, this is
always breaks my
one of the few things I can do in
heart; someone,
the name of the funeral home.
somewhere,
A doctor’s office trip happened today. I sometime ago loved this person.
had two death certificates to be signed
Somewhere this person laughed,
and handed them off to the nurses. I sat in sometime ago they cried, and once upon a
the empty waiting room, huddled in my
time they lived thinking they would never
uniform long black wool coat, black
die. We all live, every day, thinking
gloves sticking out of my purse, flipping
tomorrow will come…next week will
absent-mindedly through the magazines
come…next year will come. But what
on the table next to me. An elderly couple
happens when tomorrow doesn’t come?
came through the door, signed in, and sat
Does that mean everything we once were
down. I caught the husband and wife,
is gone? The memories we once had never
each one on separate occasions, watching
happened? The kisses we once gave out
me curiously. I don’t think I was
like candies were never really shared?
humming the Six Feet Under theme to
Amazingly, working in the realm of
myself, nor was I reading my Embalming
death and grieving has helped me
Theory textbook in plain view. But when
understand what love is all about, the
the nurses handed me the death
pains people will go through to honor
certificates through the plexiglass
someone they loved – and someone that
window, it was as if the elderly couple’s
once loved them. But most of all, I
suspicions were confirmed: the Grim
understand the fear that is readily
Reaper wasn’t a seven-foot hooded figure
apparent at any moment at the risk of
wielding a sickle. The Grim Reaper was a
losing that love.
5'3" redhead who carried a light pink
As I rub cream onto the hands that
Guess purse.
once held a baby, smoothed locks of hair
Most of the time, I prefer working in
away, maybe wrote poetry or fairy tales, I
the prep room to working in the office or
study the wedding rings. It’s as if I hope to
making my public rounds. When the
see the secret of a long and happy love in
preparation room is quiet and all I hear is
them. But that secret remains so. It’s
the fan whirring, I look closely at the face
something that once we understand, we
of the person on the table before me. My
take it with us. I am always in awe of a life
mind is hushed, my heart searching for
well lived. I am so in awe of the fact that a
Posthaste!
✔ A Swedish town will be the first to
adopt a radical new form of environmentally friendly funeral. Freeze-dried
burials will be offered as an option in
Jonkoping by 2007. Churches have
backed the plan, describing the issues as
ethically similar to those addressed when
approving cremation about 100 years ago.
body – perhaps a soul, if you are inclined
to think so – has gotten so much out of
life that it just has to move on to whatever
comes next: the afterlife, reincarnation,
the meeting with the Maker. It shakes me
to the core to imagine the depths of what
living really is.
Even when I see the gross and
sometimes smelly details of death, I
understand how the body is simply a body,
and the soul is more than the poets can
describe. When the family comes through
the door, or the pallbearers line up
solemnly, I see love as if it’s another
person in the room. Love makes it
impossible for death to be the end. I find
it harder to believe that once we die it’s all
just blackness; as opposed to when we die
we continue on, albeit in a different way.
We shed the body that can no longer
sustain us. Love does in fact conquer all –
sickness, failing health, pain, cancer, you
name it. Perhaps the movie The Princess
Bride sums it up the best: “Death cannot
stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a
while.”
I can’t begin to tell you how many
times I’ve had to choke back tears at the
funeral of a complete stranger. The
concept of unquenchable love continues
to astound me, over and over. Love is so
much more than finding “the one”….it’s
so much more than getting married…it’s
so much more than anything you can
imagine. Love creates another world
when you are gone; it’s as simple and as
complicated as that. Whether you are
gone from this world or gone from the
room — romantic love, friendship love,
family love creates a universe.
Kristy Lee Hochenberger is a student at the
Simmons Institute of Funeral Service, Syracuse,
NY. The above story reflects Ms. Hochenberger’s
opinions and not necessarily those of American
Funeral Supply Co.
✔ Old City Cemetery, Lynchburg, VA,
has published Food to Die For; A Book of
Funeral Food, Tips and Tales. Besides
favorite Virginia comfort food recipes, the
book includes funeral customs and
practical advice for writing obituaries and
condolence notes. For information, visit
www.gravegarden.org
NEWfunAprilAV3/06
4/19/06
8:58 AM
Page 2
Reader Responses Reader Responses
We asked our readers for advice on
how to deal with misbehaving children
at visitations or funerals.
Garth Flamm, Flamm Funeral
Home, Rexburg, ID, wrote: “My funeral
director brother, Bert, is very good at
entertaining children at viewings. He is a
collector and maker of wire puzzles. I
have seen him, with ten or twelve
children watching attentively, as he
makes wire puzzles using pliers,
screwdrivers, and tie (baling) wire. When
each child has a puzzle, they sit quietly,
trying to solve the puzzle without being
disruptive. When they leave the
mortuary, each child has a puzzle
of their own and a fond memory
of the evening.”
Is January your busiest month?
Mark Feehan, Rodenberger Funeral
Home, Deshler, OH, writes: “My
experience is that January tends to be a
busy month, but not necessarily always
the busiest. The winter months
combined are busier and most often we
are slower in the summer. Friends and
families will ask the same question, and I
often respond by saying that I like it
slower in the summer because we can
often do more personal things or
accomplish more needed maintenance
in the warmer months. The best
explanation I ever heard for why we are
busier in January came to me in a
conversation I had with a minister. He
said the people will “hold on” for the
holidays. The dying often will strengthen
for the holidays and for their families
during that time of year. However, when
the holiday season ends and we settle
back into the normal grind, it is then
that they are ready to go. I like this
theory and believe it to be true quite
often. Although as funeral directors
often believe, we have no control on the
when and where, it’s just a numbers
game sometimes.”
Maintenance news
with LED units are about 96% less than
for incandescent units.
Tritium Gas Exit Signs do not
require electricity, batteries, or other
power sources; they are illuminated with
tritium gas. Available in 10- and 20-year
life spans, tritium gas signs cost more but
pay for themselves in energy savings.
Tritium gas signs are on all the time and
ideal if you are in an area that experiences
extended power outages.
Photoluminescent Exit Signs emit a
nontoxic and non-radioactive glow while
complying with standards. Some are
Energy Star® qualified.
Battery Backup: Batteries provide
power for up to 11⁄2 hours and serve an
important safety function in the event of
power failure.
Operating Costs: Incandescent bulbs
incur the highest operating costs (bulbs,
labor, and energy) but usually have the
lowest up-front costs. Tritium gas signs
operating costs are ZERO. LED exit signs
also have very low operating costs ($1/year
per sign). Many users change out existing
incandescent exit signs and replace them
with LED or tritium gas signs to save on
maintenance.
Frame Construction: This may be
plastic or steel. Many users prefer steel for
fire safety.
Up-Front Costs: There are product
and installation costs. All AC-powered
signs have about the same installation
costs. However, the product costs can vary
based on type of bulb. Tritium gas and
photoluminescent signs do not require an
electrician and therefore installation costs
may be lower.
Local Codes: Some codes require
green letters, others red letters.
(Nationally, the majority require red.)
Some communities, such as Chicago,
require a different-sized sign. Call the
local building inspector or fire marshal to
be sure you meet local codes.
Aesthetics: “Standard” exit signs will
probably do the job in most areas. For
certain high-profile areas, you may prefer
a more aesthetically pleasing sign or a
combination emergency light. Combo
units can save installation costs versus
installing both exit and emergency lights.
Consider the total costs (initial
investment, maintenance costs, and
energy costs) to make the wisest exit sign
purchase for your establishment.
Bill Pickens
Maintenance Editor
How to Choose
Exit Signs for
Your Facility
Exit signs are required by law, and
they protect your clients and staff. Here
are seven primary factors to consider
when deciding on the type of exit signs
you want.
Bulb Types:
Incandescent bulbs are like the bulbs
you have around the house, only smaller.
Most bulbs last 2,000 hours, or about 83
days. Units with incandescents generally
have the lowest up-front costs, but you
have the maintenance expense of
changing the bulbs every three months.
Plus, they are not energy-efficient.
Fluorescent bulbs have a life span of
about 10,000 hours, or 14 months.
LED bulbs have replaced
incandescents and fluorescents in many
cases. LED bulbs last 10-plus years, or
about 100,000 hours. Operational costs
Do you have stories or ideas
that you think would be helpful or
interesting to others in the funeral
service industry? Organization or
efficiency ideas? Ways to help your
facility turn “green” and
environmentally friendly? Interesting
encounters with clients? Send your
answers to The Mortem Post via
e-mail, snail mail, or fax; all addresses
are printed on the back page. Your
thoughts are worth more than a penny.
When we print them,
they’re worth $25!
DID YOU KNOW?
Top-selling official college coffin for the die-hard fan: University of Oklahoma
— Men’s Health, October 2005
NEWfunAprilAV3/06
4/19/06
8:58 AM
Page 3
HR news…
Julie Baker
Human Resources
Editor
Record-Keeping
Quiz
There is no federal or state law
that mandates that employers keep
“personnel files” on employees.
However, there are many laws and
regulations requiring that certain
records relating to employees be kept.
Where those records are kept is
important for two reasons.
Organizations must make good faith
efforts to maintain the confidentiality
of certain employment records.
Second, proper and consistent filing of
documents contributes to an
organized HR function.
Here is a list of common
employment documents. For each
document, place the appropriate letter
for the file where the document should
be stored.
Quirky Quotes
It is foolish to be afraid of
death. JUST THINK!! No more
repaired tires on the body vehicle,
no more patchwork living.
— Paramhansa Yogananda
I love the man that can smile
in trouble, that can gather
strength from distress, and grow
brave by reflection. ’Tis the
business of little minds to shrink,
but he whose heart is firm, and
whose conscience approves his
conduct, will pursue his principles
unto death.
— Thomas Paine
Life is pleasant. Death is
peaceful. It’s the transition that’s
troublesome.
— Isaac Asimov
Desire is half of life,
indifference is half of death.
— Kahlil Gibran
a. Personnel File
b. Medical File
c. Confidential File
d. None of the above
Answers can be found at the bottom
of this page.
1. Employment application/
resume ___
2. Pre-employment reference
report ___
3. Drug and/or alcohol screen
results ___
4. Criminal background check ___
5. Interview notes ___
6. Medical excuse from physician ___
7. W-4 form ___
8. Salary change notice ___
9. Performance evaluation form ___
10. Disciplinary action notice ___
11. Note to the file regarding an
informal conversation ___
12. Medical leave of absence
paperwork ___
13. New Hire/termination
checklists ___
14. Employment Eligibility
Verification (I-9) forms ___
15. Worker’s Compensation medical
records ___
16. Insurance enrollment forms ___
17. Garnishments ___
Note that the personnel file should
only contain documents that:
• Are work-related.
• Do not identify an employee’s
protected characteristics (i.e., race,
gender, marital status, age, etc.).
• Do not include confidential
documents that either the employee
may not see (i.e., reference reports,
interview notes, etc.) or the supervisor
may not see (i.e., medical information,
garnishments, etc.).
Any document that does not meet
these criteria should be kept out of the
personnel file and access should be
strictly limited to those with a need to
know.
Source: HR Digest, MRA–The Management
Association, Inc., November, 2005
Commercial Upright Maintenance
You know the importance of using
the right vacuum for the right job, but
are you sure you’re maintaining it well
enough to maximize performance?
DAILY
Clean Cloth
Dust Bag. Before
each use, always
check and empty the
cloth dust bag. This
allows for the best
air movement and
better cleaning.
Check Belt
Condition. Check for
signs of wear. A new
belt is needed if it is
stretched or cracking.
Also check for proper
installation. Make certain
the belt is not on backwards and
matches the instruction manual
diagram.
Inspect Brush Roll Condition.
Look for loose materials, such as strings
and hair, which may have become
wrapped around the brush roll.
Check Motor. Inspect the motor
immediately if there are unusual
sounds or if it is performing poorly.
WEEKLY
Check Cloth Dust Bag Condition.
Inspect the dust bag, bag clip, and bag
spring for any unusual wear. Replace
bent clips, stretched springs, or any
worn cloth bag only with parts made for
your specific model.
Replace Brush Roll Bristle Strips.
Worn bristles should be replaced by a
qualified service person.
Check Supply Cord and Plug
Condition. Cuts or fraying damage can
be repaired by a qualified service
person.
MONTHLY
Check Handle Condition. Tighten
the handle screws periodically, if loose.
Replace Headlight. Refer to the
instruction manual for how to replace
burned out or cracked lightbulbs.
Check Motor. A routine check
should be made every 6 months by a
qualified service person.
Answers to Record-Keeping Quiz: 1-a, 2-c, 3-b, 4-c, 5-c, 6-b, 7-c, 8-a, 9-a, 10-a, 11-d, 12-b, 13-a, 14-d, 15-d, 16-b, 17-c
NEWfunAprilAV3/06
4/19/06
8:59 AM
Page 4
Calendar
Jim Leahy
Trade shows and conventions are a fantastic way to find out
what’s new and what’s happening in the industry. Here are
a few events that are scheduled for the coming months.
Indiana Funeral Directors Association
June 5 - 8; Indianapolis, IN; 317-846-2448
South Carolina/North Carolina Cemetery Associations Conv.
June 10 - 14; Myrtle Beach, SC; 803-783-2108 or 336-874-2974
Kentucky Funeral Directors Association
June 12 - 14; Louisville, KY; 800-866-3211
California Funeral Directors Association
June 12 - 14; Indian Wells, CA; 916-325-2361
Alabama Funeral Directors Association
June 17 - 18; Location TBD; 334-277-9565
Georgia Funeral Directors Association
June 21 - 24; Chattanooga, TN; 770-592-8002
Arizona Funeral Directors Association
June 22 - 24; Phoenix, AZ; 480-649-1144
Idaho Funeral Service Association
June 25 - 27; Jackson Hole, WY; 208-888-2730
Illinois Funeral Directors Association
June 26 - 29; St. Louis, MO; 800-240-4332
Florida Funeral Directors Association
July 9 - 12; Bonita Springs, FL; 800-226-3332
Funeral & Cemetery Alliance Annual Convention
July 27 - 29; Naples, FL; 800-866-1946
National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association
August 6 - 11; Myrtle Beach, SC; 404-286-6680
Cremation Association of North America
August 15 - 18; Orlando, FL; 312-245-1077
President, American Funeral Supply
Company
Dear Friends,
A number of years ago, a co-worker
mentioned her divorce in conversat
ion a couple of
times. Because the pain
in her, I knew it was quite recent. Whe of it was so fresh and alive
n she spoke of it the third
time, I asked when the divorce was
finalized, thinking it might still
be in court.
“Eleven years ago!” was her answer.
I realized that for eleven years she had
been reliving the hurts
and suffering of events her ex-husba
nd had probably forgotten. I
suspected that every day she relived
her terrible pain.
As I have discovered the healing powe
r of forgiveness in my
own life, I have found that there is
no reason to endure old pain.
No matter how great the hurt may
have been, there’s no advantage
in suffering it over and over.
Twenty-five years ago someone taug
painful memories and get rid of them ht me how to deal with
. I find it makes my life
calmer and makes me better able to
deal with life maturely. And it’s
quite simple!
Each time a painful memory comes
incident and the person involved and to mind, I recall the
say in my mind, “I forgive
you.” That’s it!
It doesn’t mean that their dishones
ty, betrayal, or behavior was
OK, it just means that I’ll no longer
hold it against them. It doesn’t
mean that I should ever let it happen
again. It means that in letting
it go, I’ll no longer feel the resentmen
t, anger, or pain.
I find that as I get older, I can’t affor
past. I have to choose the sort of pers d to carry burdens of the
on that I want to be and live
the life that will create that person.
Holding on to old pain doesn’t
help.
I don’t believe that we are the peop
should we be! We are the result of intenle we are by accident. Nor
tions and choices. Each day
provides us with opportunities to be
nobler, more loving, more
human, and more fully alive.
My best wishes to each of you on your
journey through life.
Love,
visit www.americanfuneralsupplies.com
Final Post
Your feedback, suggestions, stories, and ideas
are what make the pages of this newsletter
interesting and useful to everyone in the funeral
service industry. Please take a moment to jot
down your thoughts. Send your responses to:
American Funeral Supply Company
Attention: Mortem Post
100 South Milwaukee Ave.
Vernon Hills, IL 60061
e-mail: [email protected]
Fax: 847-743-1083
Please note: Submitted photos and
information are not returnable. Submissions
may be edited for space and clarity.
Mortem Post is published four times a year
by American Funeral Supply Company. We hope
you’ve enjoyed this issue. If you need an extra
copy, just ask!
PRSRT STD
U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
100 S. Milwaukee Ave.
Vernon Hills, IL 60061-4305
www.americanfuneralsupplies.com
1-800-671-9366
Change Service Requested
Please route to:
Everyone at your
funeral home or
cemetery who might
enjoy reading this
newsletter. Thank you!
Editor: Barbara Sirovatka
© 2006 American Hotel Register Company
American Hotel
Register