20 SIGNS THAT YOUR
MARRIAGE IS ON THE VERGE OF
DIVORCE!
AUTHOR: FOUNTAIN HENDRICKS
“SEPARATION IS THE
PRECURSOR FOR DIVORCE”.
Divorce does not just happen. There are things that transpire
that cause people to be led into divorce court. Most
couples are very aware of the signs of divorce but they just
IGNORE them. Some couples are not aware of the signs of
divorce & they become victims to the signs. A sign is a
warning! When you do not heed to the warning, judgment
will soon follow. This booklet will equip you with the wisdom
to help you AVOID divorce court & to save your marriage.
You will never fall off the cliff of divorce when you know you
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are approaching the edge. You will NOT get divorced when
you can recognize the signs that are attempting to lead you
there.
MARK 10:8-9!
“And the two will become one body. So there are not two,
but one. God has joined the two together, so no one should
SEPARATE THEM”.
!
This entire booklet is centered around this one scripture.
When God created marriage He intended for the husband
and the wife NOT to be SEPARATED. “Separation” is the
core element that leads every marriage to the cliff of divorce.
These 20 signs will enlighten you to when your marriage has
entered the danger zone of divorce. Each sign that is
mentioned is linked to the idea of separation. Jesus knew
that when a husband and a wife encounters ANY type of
separation, that divorce is right around the corner.
!
SEPARATION IS THE DEATH OF ALL
MARRIAGES!
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WHY?
Because when you are separated from
someone you will LEARN to live without
them.
FIRST SIGN. When either spouse
begins to keep secrets they are
on the verge of divorce: When secrets
are being kept, the truth will be buried. A couple that keeps
secrets from one another will not have the ability to be
honest with one another which will shape the relationship to
be established with lies. When you feel that you have to
keep secrets from your spouse that is the proof that there is a
lack of trust & a lack of honor.
!
When you are not willing to expose your thoughts, feelings
and concerns with your spouse you open up the door for the
enemy to create a broader line of separation in your
marriage. If you are not willing to EXPOSE your secrets to
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your spouse the enemy will make plans to expose them
WITHOUT your permission and this type of exposure will
create a separation within your marriage.
!
SECOND SIGN. When a married
couple is not spending time
together they are on the verge
of divorce: Investing time builds unity,
cohesiveness and love within a marriage. The best thing that
a couple can do together is spend time with one another
because spending time says “I LOVE YOU”, I ENJOY
YOU”, “I’M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU” & “I WANT TO
KNOW YOU”. On the same notion when a couple doesn't
spend time together it says “I’M SICK OF YOU, “I DON’T
LIKE YOU”& “I’VE FOUND SOMETHING ELSE MORE
IMPORTANT THAN YOU”.
!
When a couple refuses to spend time together they create
an opportunity for a third party to enter into their marriage
and cause division. God’s plan is for a husband & a wife to
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be one but when the marital party steps away from that
purpose by NOT spending time together they create a wall
of separation that will invite anger, discontentment,
loneliness & sadness and all of these attributes will lead you
towards separation which is the PRECURSOR for divorce.
Make sure you spend time with your spouse daily so that
your love can grow & not fade away.
!
THIRD SIGN. When a couple is
arguing more than agreeing
they are on the verge of
divorce: How can two walk together except they
agree? They CAN’T. When a couple cannot walk together
they will begin to walk separately. No marriage is absent of
arguments but when the arguments consumes the dialogue
of the marriage it will create dissension, anger and unforgiveness. Your marital partner is suppose to be your best
friend, confidant and safe haven but when that person who is
suppose to be your better half, now becomes your WORST
enemy, the marriage is on the verge of dissolving because
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people DO NOT trust their enemies, they DO NOT grow
with their enemies, they fight and separate from their
enemies.
!
When a married couple lacks the ability to agree majority of
the time that marriage will not mature in love, the family
structure will not be strengthened and the commitment
between the marital parties will NOT intensify. If you are
arguing more than agreeing within your marriage do not
ignore the sign, face it, tackle it and deal with it so that it will
not deal with you. The couple that permits more arguments
than agreements to occur within their relationship are
creating a greater opportunity to be separated from one
another.
!
FOURTH SIGN. When there is a lack
of communication within a
marriage they are on the verge of
divorce: Communication is the seed for
understanding. When there is a lack of communication there
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will be a lack of understanding and when there is a lack of
understanding there will be an abundance of confusion.
Communication is not talking. Any fool can talk but it takes
an intelligent person to communicate. COMMUNICATING
IS SPEAKING A MESSGE THAT IS COMPREHENSIBLE TO
THE OTHER PARTY. When a husband and a wife lack the
ability to generate understanding amongst each other
nothing will get accomplished & no one will submit to one
another.
!
When a husband and a wife cannot submit to one another
they will separate from each other. Ephesians 5:21 says
“Yield to obey each other because you respect Christ”.
When either individual REFUSES to submit to one another
they are indirectly disrespecting Christ & when Christ is not
respected the devil will be honored. When Christ cannot
govern your marriage, there will not be a marriage. Do not
allow pride or anger to get in the way of you creating
understanding with your spouse. The goal is to be
understood & not just heard. Communicating for
understanding will save a marriage. Talking to be heard will
destroy a marriage.
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FIFTH SIGN. When there is a lack
of intimacy in the marriage it is on
the verge of divorce: Intimacy births trust.
Intimacy builds the bond between two people. Intimacy is
not only reduced to sex but it is becoming one in mind,
body & soul. When you are NOT working on becoming
unified you will end up being divided. Creating unity within
your marriage takes work because in order to unify a couple
you must bring their values, ideas & expectations into
alignment with one another.
!
The fact that you are merging two different worlds together will
emphasize the amount of work that needs to be done in order to
establish unity. Intimacy is the only way that a couple can be
unified because it is through intimacy that each person is
FOCUSED on one another. Make the time to align your views in
your marriage so that both parities can walk in the SAME
direction.
!
SIXTH SIGN. When there is a lack
of care & concern for your
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spouse that marriage is on the
verge of divorce: It is a dangerous thing
when a spouse DOES NOT THINK about the spouse they
married. When there is a lack of consideration for an
individual the enemy has every opportunity to plant seeds of
depressing thoughts into the mind of the person that feels
rejected. Eventually these seeds will blossom into weeds
which will pollute the garden of your marriage. It doesn’t
require a lot of effort to show your spouse how much you
care for them. Sending a simple surprise text in the middle of
the day stating “I LOVE YOU BABY” will reveal your level of
care and concern.
!
Men, rubbing your wife’s feet when she gets off from work is
a simple gesture that shows that you care and are concerned
about her. Ladies, giving your husband a ten minute back
rub shows a lot of care and concern for him. When a
marriage loses the ability to be THOUGHTFUL toward one
another that marriage will end up being cold, stale & empty
of love. Make sure you take time to do the little things now
so that you can avoid big issues later.
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SEVENTH SIGN. When there is a
lack of trust in your marriage
it is on the verge of divorce:
When a husband and a wife does not trust one another they
will be paranoid of each other. Paranoia produces uncertainty
and worry. When paranoia dominates the core of a marriage
it will become very unsettling because both spouses will
have their guard up, UNABLE to relax and be vulnerable
with one another. The most valuable commodity in a
marriage is TRUST.
!
The two ways that a husband and a wife can develop their
trustworthiness amongst each other is to do what they say
they are going to do CONSISTENTLY and to be honest with
one another no matter what. If the husband & the wife can
master these trust traits they will eliminate the thoughts of
paranoia and become willing to be content, comfortable &
vulnerable in each other’s presence. When there is a lack of
trust in a marriage there will be an abundance of fear and
when fear lives, love dies. Do not lose your spouse’s trust. It
is the life source of any marriage.
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EIGHTH SIGN. When the sex stops
in your marriage it is on the
verge of divorce: The Bible teaches us NOT
to withhold sex from your marital spouse because you are
opening up an opportunity for the devil to tempt the
deprived spouse. 1st Corinthians 7:5 says “Do not refuse to
give your bodies to each other, unless you both agree to stay
away from sexual relations for a time so you can give your
time to prayer. Then come together again so Satan
CANNOT TEMPT you because of a lack of self-control”.
When the sex stops the cheating will start. Sex is a natural
desire that must be tended to within the confines of
marriage.
!
There is no reason that a husband and a wife should be
sexually deprived. Many marriages have ended because of
this one issue. You must CATER to your spouses sexual
appetite because if you do not someone else will fill it. When
a person decides to marry you they have made the
commitment to give you their all and to reject everyone else.
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When a person violates that commitment by DENYING their
spouse of sexual pleasure it is unlawful and unbiblical and it
will soon become the death of the marriage. Do not deny
your spouse what they have RIGHTS to!
!
NINETH SIGN. When either
party stops doing their marital
duties that marriage is on the
verge of divorce: Responsibilities govern the
institution of marriage. A man has marital duties and a
woman has marital duties. Maintaining your marital
responsibilities ALLOWS the marriage to grow and to
flourish in COMFORT, not happiness. Your marital duties has
nothing to do with the other person’s happiness. When the
husband protects & provides for the home it creates comfort
for the wife.
!
When the wife cooks and manages the house it creates
comfort for the husband. When the marital parties STOP
performing their marital duties, the comfort ends and the
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discomfort begins. Have you noticed that when a man is not
providing for the home arguments increase? Have you ever
noticed that when the house is not clean there is a negative
vibe in the home? When marital duties are not fulfilled,
DISCOMFORT WILL SATURATE THE ENVIRONMENT.
When a husband & a wife lives in constant discomfort they
will eventually gravitate to other people that will make them
comfortable.
!
TENTH SIGN. When the provider
is not bringing the money home
that marriage is on the verge
of divorce: When the provider is not bringing the
money to the home, SUSPICION will cloud the environment.
A suspicious mind will generate a lot of tension within the
marriage because a suspicious person will QUESTION
EVERYTHING that is being done. When the provider is not
bringing the money home it gives a subliminal message that
the home is no longer valuable to them and it also signifies
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that the people who live in that home are no longer
important.
!
If you are not investing in your home whose home are you
investing in? If you are not taking care of your family, whose
family are you taking care of? These are the types of
questions that you will have to answer when you strengthen
a person’s mind to be suspicious because you are not
bringing the money home. Keep in mind, that making the
money is not as important as how you are USING the money.
Money represents COMFORT, CHANGES & PROGRESS
and when you rob your marriage of these gifts you will
eventually not have a marriage.
!
ELEVENTH SIGN. When either
spouse stops making an effort
to please each other that
marriage is on the verge of
divorce: Your PASSION should be to please your
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spouse. Your FOCUS should be on pleasing your spouse.
Your DESIRE should be aimed at making your spouse happy.
It should not be a burden to want to please your spouse it
should be a pleasure because the joy that you will receive
from the person that makes you happy is unexplainable.
When either spouse STOPS making an effort to please one
another it reveals the LACK of interest and concern for one
another that has grown within the marriage. YOU WILL
ALWAYS BE REWARDED BY THE PERSON YOU ARE
WILLING TO PLEASE!
!
When you lose the passion to stop wanting to please your
spouse, each party will be deprived of the gifts and praise
that they can receive from one another. Deprivation is the
result of one party not begin pleased. When a husband feels
deprived of pleasure he steps outside of the marriage
physically. When a wife feels deprived of pleasure she steps
outside of the marriage mentally but the common factor is
separation and separation will always lead to divorce.
!
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TWELFTH SIGN. When one party
makes excuses not to be home
that marriage is on the verge
of divorce: The home should be the married
couple’s sanctuary. That SHOULD be the place of peace,
comfort, security & happiness but when a spouse is
continuously making excuses to be away from their sanctuary
it is a sign that they are DISCONTENT WITH SHARING THE
SAME SPACE AS THEIR PARTNER. This could be for many
reasons because it varies per individual but the commonality
is that “home doesn’t feel like him anymore”.
!
Discontentment is an ugly feeling for a person to feel
because it prevents them from being appreciative, thankful
and satisfied. WHEN A SPOUSE CHOOSES TO BE OUT OF
THE HOME MORE THAN IN THE HOME IT REVEALS
THAT THEY HAVE LOST INTEREST TOWARD THE
PERSON WHO IS LIVING IN THE HOME. Separation
fertilizes the ground for divorce! Inspire your spouse to want
to rush to get home by having less arguments, more
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conversations, increased laughs and intimate moments
because when your spouse is excited to be home, it
symbolizes how much love they have for you.
!
THIRTEENTH SIGN. When the
dialogue between a couple
becomes degrading &
belittling: The content of the communication
within the marriage will identify the CONDITION of that
marriage. When a couple is in-love and the marriage is on
fire they are not saying disrespectful words to one another.
They are not saying hurtful things to one another. They are
giving compliments and speaking well of each other but
when the marriage is on the verge of divorce the couple will
rehearse vulgar language toward one another.
!
They will say things that are hurtful to defend themselves.
They will also use words of negative aptitude to justify their
behavior. If the content of the communication within your
marriage is negative, the condition of your marriage is very
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unhealthy. The expression of your words manifest how you
feel and what think. When the communication has been
broken down the marriage is on the verge of divorce.
!
FOURTEENTH SIGN. When there
is a lack of honor in the
marriage it is on the verge of
divorce: Honor is a GREATER version of respect.
Respect is a broad term that can be applied in many ways.
Every marriage should be built on the foundation of respect.
In other words, the husband and wife should abide by the
standards and parameters that has been set within the
confines of the marriage. For example, if a couple AGREES
that neither person stay out pass midnight with their friends
that is a PARAMETER & STANDARD in the marriage.
!
When a husband or a wife VIOLATES the standard and
expectations of the marriage then they are showing a LACK
of honor in the marriage. Every marriage has a code that the
husband & wife have AGREED to abide by, whether it is
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always being honest with one another, being faithful to each
other & etc. When that code has been violated the strength
of that marital foundation is weakened which questions the
level of commitment amongst the individuals. When there is
a lack of honor, separation will be inevitable.
!
FIFTEENTH SIGN. When there is
a lack of teamwork that
marriage is on the verge of
divorce: Marriage is not a solo thing it is a team
thing. You cannot be married by yourself. When a marital
party refuses to work with their spouse, by default they are
working AGAINST their spouse because a house divided
against itself cannot stand. If you are a solo act in a team
sport you are guaranteed to lose the game. When a husband
or a wife is selfish they are contaminating the essence of their
marriage because the quickest way to increase strife is to
only think about yourself.
!
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The quickest way to increase resentment in your marriage is
to do everything and go everywhere by yourself. When a
husband and a wife does not GROW TOGETHER within
their marriage they will begin to grow with someone else
outside of their marriage. When you and your spouse work
as a team the enemy will not have the opportunity to
separate you.
!
SIXTEENTH SIGN. When a spouse
cheats on their mate that
marriage is on the verge of
divorce: When a spouse cheats on their partner they
have broken the covenant of TRUST, FAITHFULNESS,
UNITY & SANCTIFICATION. These four factors are the
corner stone of every marriage. Destroying one of these
corner stones will bring down the wall of marriage and when
the wall of marriage is torn down there is no marriage in the
mind of God. God does not like divorce but He will provide
an out clause. In Matthew 19:9
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The scripture says “And I say to you: Whoever divorces his
wife, EXCPT for sexual immorality and marries another,
commits adultery”. When you tear down the corner stone of
marriage it becomes very hard to rebuild it because it
requires sacrifice, commitment and most importantly a lot of
time. If you make the decision to be committed to your
spouse you will AVOID the consequences of what cheating
will produce.
!
SEVENTEENTH SIGN. When a
couple refuses to compromise
with one another that marriage
is on the verge of divorce: The
purpose of compromise is to bend, flex and adjust. A person
that compromises doesn’t remove their standards they
ADJUST their standards & expectations to accommodate
someone else. In order to have a successful & lasting
marriage you must be willing to adjust to accommodate your
spouse. If you are a person who has to have it your way all
the time you will be by yourself all the time. When a husband
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and a wife refuses to adjust they will continuously bump
heads and clash with one another.
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The probability of reaching an agreement is highly unlikely.
The likelihood of walking in the same direction is unlikely
because when you cannot see eye to eye you will be fighting
trig to take somebody’s eye out. It is impossible to work
together within your marriage if you are unwilling to adjust
for each other. Couples that REFUSES to compromise with
each other will end up being SEPARATED from each other.
!
EIGHTEENTH SIGN. When either
spouse stops making sacrifices
for one another that marriage
is on the verge of divorce: A
sacrifice is SURRENDERING something you have so that
someone else may be benefit. Our Heavenly Father
sacrificed His Son so that humanity may have the opportunity
to receive salvation. If you are not willing to sacrifice
something for your spouse you are removing the nutrients
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from your marriage. Nutrients enable plants to sprout &
grow. Without nutrients, plants will never reach it’s full
potential. If a husband or a wife refuses to sacrifices for one
another the marriage will never reach it’s full potential. Here
are two examples of how a husband and a wife can sacrifice
for one another.
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When a husband takes his wife shopping instead of going to
the sports game that is a sacrifice that he is making in order
to please her to strengthen the bond between them. When a
wife decides to support her husband in his favorite activity
instead of hanging out with her girlfriend she is making a
sacrifice to strengthen the bond between them. When a
marital party refuses to make sacrifices for one another they
will end up separating from one another which will lead them
to divorcing.
!
NINETEENTH SIGN. When either
spouse has a wandering eye
that marriage is on the verge
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of divorce:
When a spouse has a wandering eye it
shows that someone is LOSING interest in the marriage.
Focus is the proof that you are CONTENTED. Focus is the
proof that something is IMPORTANT to you. A wandering
eye represents uncertainty and curiosity. When either spouse
develops a wandering eye it puts the marriage in a very
uncomfortable space because you are inviting the spirit of
jealousy, doubt & worry to control the core of your marriage.
A wife will NEVER feel secure to have a husband that has a
wandering eye.
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A husband will never feel confident in himself if he has a wife
with a wandering eye. A wandering eye is a thorn in every
marriage because you cannot ignore it and it will constantly
bother you. Having a wandering eye may be a small issue for
some couples but this small issue will generate big problems.
Focus on the good in your spouse so that you can PREVENT
yourself from having a wandering eye. Most people develop
a wandering eye because they tend to focus on what is
wrong rather than what is right.
!
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TWENTIETH SIGN. When God is
not involved in a marriage that
marriage will be on the verge
of divorce: Whatever God puts together no man
can put asunder. When God is not in the center and the head
of your marriage it is over before it even begins. When God
is involved in your marriage the enemy will not be able to
destroy it. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says “An enemy might defeat
one person, but two people together can defend
themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to
break”. The proof that God is the head of your marriage will
be shown in HOW YOU MAKE DECISIONS.
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If the decisions do not reflect the principles and values of the
Holy Bible, God is NOT at the head of your marriage. When
your decisions DO NOT align with His standards you have
OMITTED God from your marriage. Asking God to be the
head of your marriage but refusing to submit to His
instructions is of non-effect. Every marriage that does not
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govern their decisions based on God’s Word will
automatically end in divorce.
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FOR MORE WISDOM GO TO
www.wisethoughts.net
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