Writing Center
Tutoring and Learning Services
Created by Bryan Rice
Conciseness vs. Wordiness
“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a
paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should
have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts.”
– William Strunk, Jr. (The Elements of Style)
Empty Words and Meaningless Modifiers
Empty words are so general and overused that they contribute little meaning to a sentence. Look
at the list below. The next time you review your draft, find and replace these empty words with
more specific, concrete words or expressions. Similarly, find meaningless modifiers in your
draft and remove them. In general, you will discover that your sentences can survive without
these empty words and meaningless modifiers.

Empty Words: angle, area, aspect, case, character, element, factor, field, kind, nature,
part, scope, situation, thing, type

Meaningless Modifiers: absolutely, awesome, awfully, central, cool, definitely, fine,
great, literally, major, quite, really, very
Below are sentences containing empty words and/or meaningless modifiers. Notice how simple
revisions make the sentences more concise and direct.

Original: The nature of the house’s location really makes it vulnerable to natural disaster
situations. Revision: The house’s location makes it vulnerable to flooding.

Original: The social aspects of a person’s life can be a major impact on job performance.
Revision: A person’s social life can impact job performance.

Original: He literally teaches his class in a kind of relaxed style. Revision: He teaches
his class in a relaxed style.
Redundancy
In writing, redundancy is characterized by verbosity and unnecessary repetition. When revising
your draft, make sure to avoid expressing the same idea twice. Here are some examples of
unnecessary repetition and redundancy.

Original: Dr. May Foss is a professor of American history. She holds a Ph.D. and
teaches American history at the University of South Florida. Revision: Dr. May Foss, a
professor of American history, teaches at the University of South Florida.

Original: Many different forms of hazing may occur, such as physical abuse and mental
abuse. Also, sexual abuse may occur. Revision: Different forms of hazing may occur,
such as physical, mental and sexual abuse.

Original: Compulsory attendance at assemblies is required; students must attend every
assembly. Revision: Students are required to attend assemblies.
Also, avoid using redundant words and expressions. Below is a list of common redundancies
alongside leaner, concise versions that communicate the same ideas.
Twelve midnight, twelve noon
A person who is (adjective)
Biography of a life
Circle around
Close proximity
Completely (adjective)
Consensus of opinion
Each and every
Exactly the same
In the field of (academic study)
In the event that
One and the same
Period of six days
Personally, I think
Personal opinion
Refer back
Repeat again
Return again
Summarize briefly
Surrounded on all sides
Usual custom
midnight, noon
a (adjective) person
biography
circle
proximity
(use the adjective)
consensus
each
exactly
in (academic study)
if
the same
six days
I think
opinion
refer
repeat
return
summarize
surrounded
custom
Strong Verbs vs. To Be
Oftentimes, forms of the verb to be result in wordiness. Note: You can’t always eliminate “to
be”: sometimes it is necessary, but avoid unnecessary or excessive usage. For example, you may
write, “A high-fat diet is bad for your heart.” You could revise this sentence and write, “A highfat diet harms your heart.” Similarly, you can avoid wordiness by getting rid of expletive
constructions such as there is, there are and it is. Unless your instructor specifies that you should
use the passive voice, you should always aim to use the active voice. By using active verbs, you
will enliven your writing and generate interest in your reader.