Beginning Adult Day: Tips for working with apprehensive Alzheimer’s
family members
Adult day centers are under-used facilities in many communities. At the same time, these
small centers can be a godsend for people with mild to moderate Alzheimer‟s and their
caregivers.
Adult day centers are a valuable resource for caregivers offering them an opportunity to
catch up on shopping, spending time with friends, or going on a day trip. While adult day
centers are a relaxing break for caregivers, many caregivers find it hard to get their family
members to attend.
Here are some tips:
Convince yourself first. Call for a tour to see what might interest your family
member, and to discuss any obstacles you anticipate. (“There are too many „old‟
people.”) Staff personnel are experts at inducing reluctant people to attend and at
managing newcomer‟s anxieties.
Give a convincing reason. Some people attend because they see the center as their
“club” or a “class”. Some go for a particular activity, or to be with a new friend.
Some attend to help others, as a volunteer would. Ask the doctor to back you up.
Look for a hook. Arrange for your family member to visit when there is an
activity scheduled that they might enjoy, or even try out on the spot. Here are
some examples: music, crafts, exercise, or group discussion.
Take one step at a time. The objective of the first, short visit is simply to have the
person agree to go for a day. Don‟t push too hard. The just-try-it-and-see
approach works better.
Be firm. At first the person may enjoy going, but later complain of being
unhappy. Don‟t argue. Next day, try saying, “They are expecting you today,” or
“I just want you to go for a little while,” or “Let‟s talk about it later.”
Get the right person to take him or her. At least for the first few times, choose
someone who can usually get your family member to do things.
(over)
Start with a few, short days. Two visits a week is a minimum for someone with
memory loss. Short days are less taxing for newcomers. When the routine
becomes comfortable, you can add days. It usually takes a new person weeks to
adjust, so be patient.
Reinforce the positive. Support any positive experience that your family member
has, or that you or someone on the staff notices.
Try again later. Sometimes a person frets so much that it becomes
counterproductive. Trying again after a few months‟ break often proves
successful.
Communicating with a person with Alzheimer‟s can be difficult because your
reactions may be layered with the memories of how he or she used to be. When
talking with someone with Alzheimer‟s, try to keep in mind the following
suggestions:
Be patient and supportive. Let the individual know that you are listening and
trying to understand. Show your interest. Maintain eye contact. Offer comfort
and reassurance. Encourage the person to continue to explain.
Give the individual time. Let him or her think about and describe what is
wanted. Be sure to not interrupt. Avoid criticizing or correcting. Rather, listen
and try to find the meaning in what is being said.
Alzheimer‟s Association, Greater Maryland Chapter
1850 York Road, Suite D ▪ Timonium, MD 21093-5142
Phone: (410) 561-9099 or 1(800) 443-2273 ▪ Fax: (410) 561-3433
Rev. 07/06mpt