Graduation address
Jane Hall
It is an honor and a pleasure to be here today – and to salute:
Daniel, Michele, Debra, Ted, Debra, Geoff, Esther, and Susan.
We are here to celebrate your completion of the first leg of a journey, a journey that will
last forever. You might feel like singing that song about “no more teachers, no more
books,” And that's OK. I think I stayed away from all the journals for a year after
graduation. BUT –As a result of your hard work you will continue to learn every minute
of every day – you won't be able to help it. All the coursework, assignments,
presentations, and camaraderie have given you muscle – muscle that is, and will always
be, the foundation of your benevolent curiosity and your generosity. By using your
muscles you will, quite naturally, combine your intellect with your growing sensitivity.
You will question and learn from movies, articles, novels, paintings, a friend,
colleague, child, parent, a flower, a poem, a tragedy, an animal, a memory – and
especially from a patient. You have been primed by your focus on listening.
In 2006, thanks to the vision and efforts of Rita Frankiel, a remarkable person who
many of you here today remember, the Contemporary Freudian Society revised its
curriculum to focus on listening. You and your patients are the beneficiaries of her
legacy. You hold the key to the future of psychoanalytic work and to the alleviation of
your patient's pain in today's world. Each individual you see will pass on subtly what
she learns about herself to others in her world and so your work together will resonate in
different but valuable ways forever, like a ripple effect. Carol began analysis when she
was in her mid twenties after a bout with cocaine that frightened her. We ended our work
when she was 45. During her treatment she married and became a very good mother.
About 7 years after we ended she sent me a note and I will share one paragraph:
“I feel like analysis is another example of inertia - That bodies (or in this case
minds) in motion stay in motion. Every once in a while I realize that I'm doing
something and I think - OHHHHHH, that's what Mrs Hall meant. Of course I
can't remember an example of this but it is clear to me that I am still learning
from my analysis every day.”
As you connect with your patients, your fear that psychoanalysis is dying will dissipate.
As your confidence and conviction grow, so will your practices. The keys to your
successes are your ability to listen with benevolent curiosity and your conviction about
exactly how important listening is...listening to your patients' words and listening to
your own thoughts and especially feelings. You listen with all of your senses. How you
feel with a patient – beyond and beneath the words you hear - is in my mind the way to
understand what's going on in a given moment, especially when you feel lost.
I mentioned success but sometimes you will feel like you are failing with a patient and
those times are very difficult. When that happens – and it will – nine times out of ten,
your patient is testing your stamina. Your patient is saying: are you sure you can stand
me? How can you bear my pain when I cannot. Those are the times that matter most.
Shengold talks about caritas – a form of love that will see you and your partner thru to
something better – whatever form it takes. Sometimes that form is ending too soon. Not
every patient will stay in treatment – but your time together will not be forgotten.
Psychoanalytic treatment is unique in today’s hip hop world of fast fixes and behavioral
methods of therapy. We psychoanalysts like to call our work scientific but we must
never forget that we are all basically artists. Musicians can teach us a lot. Classical
pianist Jeremy Denk said recently:
:“There’s a labyrinth of voices inside your head, a counterpoint of self-awareness and
the remembered sayings of your guides and mentors, who don’t always agree.
Sometimes you wish you could go back and ask your teachers again to guide you, but up
there onstage, exactly where they always wanted you to be, you must simply find your
way. They have given all the help they can; the only person who can solve the labyrinth
of yourself is you.”
The psychoanalyst and the jazz musician also have something in common: the magic
and spontaneity of improvisational interaction. In jazz music something new is always
created. In jazz ensembles, from duos to big bands, the musician is working off both his
own and the others' internal rhythms, chords, colors, melodies, and moods. Players free
associate by listening to each other and by relying on spirit, camaraderie, love, energy –
(both libidinal and aggressive,) and openness., They take risks and brave the unknown.
Mistakes, lapses, silences, even trepidations are used to further the music. Have you ever
noticed how musicians react to each other? That attention or even lack of it becomes part
of the music. Barriers are crossed in jazz. Trust makes that possible.
The analytic dyad makes its own unique music too. And the farther you travel on your
journey the less you will rely on the notes and theories you have learned because they
have been assimilated and internalized – freeing your energy in the service of the
creative listening that will fill your days.
You have learned your scales which are the psychoanalytic ABCs. The id, the ego, the
superego; the conscious and unconscious, the transference/countertransference, the
internal world, developmental phases, the sadomasochism, the libido and aggression.
You have spent time with the the Freuds, Abraham, Ferenczi, Josephs and the modern
Klienians(sounds like a rock group) and even Melanie herself (verboten when I was in
school.) Winnicott has spoken to you as has Hans Loewald. Bion, Ogden, Fonegy, and
Lacan among many others, are becoming your friends. These analysts along with Ella
Sharpe (one of my stars) have shared their best moments and thoughts with you so you
are well nourished - and now - that nourishment has become muscle. My hope is that
you will use that muscle with sensitivity. Use it to inquire, to reflect, to enhance, to
create, to question with humility, to play, and to both withstand and embrace the rage,
sorrow, and joy your patients bring. These activities are what will sustain you more than
anything else. The role of surprise in psychoanalysis is important and as you let go of
some of the labels you have learned you will indeed be surprised! Labels can box you in
– and even distort what you hear. Labels require that you listen for something – not to
something.
When you have free hours, I encourage you to read novels and poetry, see plays, write
and listen to poetry, and to travel. Most of all – have pleasure. And when you read the
psychoanalytic literature greet it and question it. My very favorite teacher, Martin
Bergmann always said that there is something of value in everything you read.
And don't ever forget to be proud of yourselves because whatever the New York Times
says – you rock!
I end with a poem that I found in cyberspace – a place I have grown to love. Google has
become a very dear friend.
_
Poem: Listen: by Ralph Roughton, MD
When I ask you to listen to me And you start giving
advice, You have not done what I asked. When I ask you to
listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that
way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to
listen to me and you feel you have To do something to solve
my problems you have Failed me, strange as that may
seem. Listen, All I asked was that you listen – Not talk or do,
Just hear me.
When you do something for me That I can and need to do for
myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I
feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to
convince you and can get about the business of
understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t
need advice. Irrational feelings make sense, when we
understand what’s behind them. Perhaps that’s why prayer
works, sometimes, for some people– because God is mute and
He/She doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. So please listen
and just hear me. And if you want to talk,
Wait a minute for your turn, and I’ll listen to you.