Communicating in Stressful
Situations
Dan Dreves & Kathleen Roebuck
Houston Financial Aid Conference 2016
March 3rd & 4th 2016
Today’s Objectives
•  Discuss effects of stress on processing information
•  Identify methods of effective communication
•  Review techniques for dealing with stressful communications
•  Delve into financial aid case scenarios using these methods
Is Financial Aid in itself “Stressful”?
•  In the Financial Aid World, we have an acronym for
everything
•  Speaking about finances is extremely personal and
uncomfortable
•  The process, no matter how simplified it is, is
complex
•  Rarely do students read the specifics- so there is a
knowledge gap
Ability To Retain Info When Stressed
•  Stress can reduce the ability to process information by
up to 80%.
•  When people are stressed, they…
•  tend to remember most what they hear first and last
•  understand information at four grade levels below their
educational level
•  actively look for visual/graphic information to support verbal
messages
•  Need 3-4 positives to overcome 1 negative
Dr. Vincent Covello as reported by Forbes on 10/03/2013
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kenmakovsky/2013/10/03/1159/
Communication is more than just words
Effective Communication Skills
•  Emotional awareness
•  Managing one’s own stress
•  Nonverbal communication
•  Engaged listening
Lawrence Robinson, Jeanne Segal, Ph. D., and Robert Segal, February 2014.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/effective_communication_skills.htm
Trust
•  They want to know that you care before they care what
you know. •  Caring = 50% trust determination •  Judged in the first 30 seconds
•  75% of information about trust is communicated
nonverbally.
•  Trust
•  Listening/Caring
•  Competence/Expertise
•  Honesty/Transparency
Trust Factors in High Stress Situations
The Art of Delivery in High Stress Situations
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Prepare yourself
Put yourself into a customer service mindset
Actively listen
Empathize
Keep your cool
Identify some solutions
Be positive, if possible
Communication Is Easier When
We Are Calm
Listen to Yourself
•  Make a conscious effort to hear
how you speak.
•  Are you communicating
positively?
•  What is your tone of voice?
Bridging Statements
1.AnswertheQues.on
2.UseaBridge
4.Supportthe
Message
3.DelivertheKeyMessage
Bridging Statements Examples
•  Before we continue, let me take a step back and repeat
that...
•  And one thing that is important to remember is..
•  If we take a broader perspective, ..
•  What all this information tells me is...
•  Let me put all this in perspective by saying...
Scenario 1:
Loans are Not Financial Aid
Scenario 1: Loans are Not Financial Aid
Response: If we look at the big picture, loans help you to
bridge the gap between your grants, work-study, and
what you and your family can afford out of pocket. The
federal loan programs have low interest rates. No
payments are required while you are in school and most
often the government actually pays the interest until the
student graduates.
27.9.3
•  27 words (total of 27 words for all three key messages,
with each key message averaging 9 words in length)
•  9 seconds
•  3 messages
Scenario 2:
SAP Notification
Scenario 2: SAP Notification
Response: You have not met the SAP guidelines. You
have two options – complete the SAP appeal process to
reestablish eligibility or pay for next semester out of
pocket.
Compassion, Conviction And Optimism
•  Use when asked a question with high-emotion
•  Compassion
•  Conviction
•  Optimism
•  Examples:
•  I am very sorry to hear about...
•  I believe that...
•  In the future, I believe that …
Scenario 3:
Loss of Job
Scenario 3: Loss of Job
Response: I am so sorry to hear about your dad’s job
loss. Before you consider leaving school, can I walk you
through an appeal process to explain your change in
situation so we can consider your family’s change in
income to consider awarding more financial aid? Our
office has helped other students with like circumstances
to award more financial aid to keep them in school.
I Don’t Know Template
•  Repeat the question the person asked
•  Give the reason(s) why you don’t know or can’t answer
•  Indicate follow up with a deadline
•  Consider some of these responses
•  I don’t have enough information to answer your question, but I
will certainly get the information you need.
•  I don’t have the data at hand, but I’ll get it to you later today.
•  Good question. Let me connect you with…
•  I’d like to consider that question and get back to you…
Scenario 4:
No VA Benefits Yet
Scenario 4: No VA Benefits
Response: Sounds like you are asking about when your
VA benefits will be disbursed this semester. I wish I could
answer this on the spot, but we need to check with the
Registrar’s Office to confirm the enrollment certification
has been sent. Since their office is closed for a staff
meeting currently, I will contact you via email this
afternoon.
False Allegation Template
•  Use when responding to a hostile question, false allegation,
or criticism
•  Paraphrase the question without repeating the negative
•  Use neutral language
•  Demonstrates the underlying value
•  Indicate that the issue is important if possible
•  Indicate what you have done, are doing, or will do to address the
issue
•  Examples:
•  You’ve raised a serious question about “x”...
•  “x” is important to me...
•  We have done the following to address “x”.
Scenario 5:
Change in Aid
Scenario 5: Change in Aid
Response: I understand you are concerned about the amount
of financial aid your student receives. At our college, we value
every student, including your child. When we reviewed your
financial aid last year, we used estimated year income because
you were not working at the time. This created eligibility for
the Federal Pell Grant, FSEOG, and FWS. Since you have
reported a new income, we are now using your current
income. I would be happy to discuss your financing options if
you like.
Handout
Communications
Template
Practice Makes Perfect
•  Consider practicing these techniques
•  Create a group of 2 or more
•  One person student
•  One person administrator
•  One person observer(s) optional
•  Use or create student/parent statement
•  Decide what technique you might use, formulate
your response, and perform scenario
•  Gather improvement feedback
Email?
•  Before you sit down and bang away at the key board sending
a flaming email, take a breath.
•  Wait a day
•  Consider drafting it in word first, rather than in your email
program
•  The condensed version is usually more effective than the
novel
•  Watch your address book
Additional Tips
•  Remember where you are (people are watching)
•  Speak softly
•  Control your reactions
•  And remember, one important point, If possible end your
conversation on a positive note
Dan Dreves [email protected]
Kathleen Roebuck [email protected]