Campaign Nonviolence
A long-term movement to mainstream nonviolence and build a culture of peace
free from war, poverty, environmental destruction and the epidemic of violence
Campaign Nonviolence Skill-Building Workshop:
Overview and Agenda
Campaign Nonviolence invites people everywhere to take a stand against violence and for the well-being
of all. This new movement was launched September 21-27, 2014 with 238 nonviolent actions in 50
states as well as in American Samoa, Canada, Colombia, and Afghanistan.
With 190 endorsing organizations and 250 organizers – and counting – Campaign Nonviolence (CNV)
strives to support nonviolent solutions to the monumental challenges facing our planet and its inhabitants
through nonviolence education, public witness, long-term movement-building, and strategies to
mainstream nonviolence. CNV is connecting the dots, joining forces, supporting nonviolent options, and
taking peaceful and determined action together.
Building on its inaugural year, Campaign Nonviolence will organize nationwide events again this
September. During this second annual Campaign Nonviolence Week – September 20-27 – we will join
with people everywhere “marching for the world, engaging with others, and transforming our lives.” We
invite people across the nation and beyond during this fall’s national mobilization to:
• March for a culture of peace and nonviolence
• Engage in nonviolent dialogue with persons or groups they disagree with or struggle against, and
• “Fast from violence” – and activate the power of nonviolence – in one’s everyday life
The following workshop is designed to support these 2015 action steps and to strengthen skills for both
spreading nonviolence and for building the Campaign Nonviolence movement.
Workshop Objectives
This workshop is designed to support the 2015 Campaign Nonviolence action strategies and to spread and
strengthen CNV organizing by providing participants with an opportunity to:
• Learn about the Campaign Nonviolence vision and strategy
• Explore the power of nonviolence and how nonviolent change works
• Deepen skills for building Campaign Nonviolence locally, including organizing local nonviolent
actions in September, and
• Network and collaborate with others
Pace e Bene Nonviolence Service http://paceebene.org [email protected] 510-268-8765
1 Agenda Outline
Day One
9:00 -- Opening (50)
9:50 -- Exploring Campaign Nonviolence: Vision and Strategy (10)
10:00 -- Connecting the Dots: The Challenges (30)
10:30 – Connecting the Dots: Building a Movement of Movements (20)
10:50 -- Break (10)
11:00 – Exploring Active Nonviolence (45)
11:45 -- Small Group Reflection on Nonviolence (30)
12:15 – Lunch (45)
1:00 – Inter-Personal Nonviolent Engagement (60)
2:00 – Fasting from Violence (45)
2:45 – Break (15)
3:00 – How Nonviolent Social Change Works (55)
3:55 – Steps Toward Change (5)
4:00 – CNV Strategy Exercise: Celebrating and “Remembering” This Change (75)
5:30 – Reviewing and assessing the day (15)
5:45 – Closing (15)
6:00 – Finish
Day Two
1:00 – Nonviolent Action Video
1:45 – Nonviolence guidelines (15)
2:00 – Creating nonviolent action and building the movement (30)
2:30 – Break (15)
2:45 – Building a CNV September Nonviolent Action (75)
3:30 – Role-play and debrief action (45)
4:15 – Geographically-based groups form and create draft action plans (30)
4:45 – Geographically-based groups present plans to large group (30)
5:15 – Individual next steps (15)
5:00 – Evaluation (positives / improvements) (30)
5:30 – Closing: Go-around (20)
5:50 – Commissioning of agents of nonviolent change (10)
6:00 – Finish
Appendices
I. Campaign Nonviolence’s Nonviolence Agreement
II. The Stereotypes and Qualities of Nonviolence Exercise
III. The Two Hands of Nonviolence
IV. Center, Learn, Articulate, Receive, Accomplish
V. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Principles of Nonviolent Resistance
2 Day One: 9:00am-5:00pm (Registration: 8:30am)
Objectives:
• Familiarity with the foundations of active nonviolence
• Exploring how making a nonviolent shift toward abolishing war, poverty and the climate crisis is
possible
9:00 -- Opening (50)
• Welcome (5)
• Candle-lighting (10)
• Ahead of time assemble a circle of tea lights or small votive candle, matches, and a small
plate or cup where used matches can be placed. Ask to come forward to light a candle and
silently honor a person whose life and work for nonviolence, peace, justice or a sustainable
world has inspired them.
• Introductions (10)
• Agenda review (5)
• Shared agreements to create safe space (5)
• To share and participate at whatever level I feel safe and comfortable
• To be open to voluntarily take opportunities as they arise to feel uncomfortable when that
might help facilitate my growth
• To honor confidentiality in my small group and in the large group
• To use “I” statements
• To practice sensitivity to all forms of difference and recognize and respond to power
dynamics
• Any additions?
• Hopes and dreams for this training and this movement (15)
• Ask participants to turn to a neighbor and share their hopes and dreams for this training
and this movement.
• Ask people to come back to the large group; ask a few people to share their hopes and
dreams.
9:50 -- Exploring Campaign Nonviolence: Vision and Strategy (10)
• Campaign Nonviolence is a long-term movement to mainstream nonviolence and build a culture
of peace free from war, poverty, environmental destruction and the epidemic of violence
• Nonviolence is the power of making connections for the well-being of all. Campaign
Nonviolence holds that the great challenges we are facing will not be resolved without making
connections – between issues, between movements, between communities, and between all
people.
• This long-term movement of connecting the dots was inaugurated September 21-27, 2014 with
238 nonviolent actions in 50 states and beyond.
• In 2015, we are building on this foundation to spread the vision of mainstreaming nonviolence
and to take action across the country and beyond September 20-27 in three ways: organizing local
public action for justice, peace, and the well-being of all; inter-personal engagement; and a
personal resolve to abstain from violence.
10:00 -- Connecting the Dots: The Challenges (30)
• Create a mural (two rows of 6 pieces of easel paper taped together) on a wall. Use a
marker to write the words “WAR” “POVERTY” “CLIMATE CRISIS” in large point size.
Using a marker run a line across the mural along the bottom of the first row of paper. On
the top side of the mural:
• Ask people to identify concrete aspects of each category and write them near it.
3 •
•
•
•
•
After people have finished, ask them if they see connections between some of
these. If so, they circle one and draw a line to the other, and circle it.
Ask people, standing in front of the mural, to reflect on what they see and to reflect
on some possible implications for CNV
Then ask if they see conditions or structures that cross all three of these. (Racism,
capitalism, militarism, sexism?) If these or other forms of structural violence come
up, reflect on these in the large group.
When this is finished ask people to go into triads (groups of threes) and reflect on
this process of connecting the dots. What are possible lessons from this process.
Finally, come back in the large group and harvest these insights.
10:30 – -- Connecting the Dots: Building a Movement of Movements (20)
• Ask people to return to the “Connect the Dots” mural and use the bottom half
mural to list any and all the organizations, campaigns or movements they are part
of -- or that they know about in their area – working to abolish “WAR” “POVERTY”
or the “CLIMATE CRISIS.” Have them list them under these categories. Have each
person point to and briefly share about these efforts.
• Invite the group to reflect on ways either these groups already “connect the dot”
between their focus (say, War) and the other ones (POVERTY, CLIMATE CRISIS).
• Then invite the group to imagine two things: 1) What are some concrete ways we
could invite these groups to join forces, and 2) What
10:50 BREAK (10)
11:00 – Exploring Active Nonviolence (45)
• Defining violence in its breadth: personal, interpersonal, social structural.
• Stereotypes and Qualities of Nonviolence Exercise [SEE APPENDIX II] (15)
• Three Scripts of Conflict and The Two Hands of Nonviolence Exercise (15)
• Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Principles of Nonviolence (6 small groups; each one takes a principle
and reflects on it; shares in large group) [See APPENDIX V] (15)
11:45 -- Small Group Reflection on Nonviolence (30)
• Reflection on a time when participants experienced successful interpersonal nonviolent
transformation (milling; form small groups; harvest in large group at whatever level people feel
comfortable)
12:15 -- LUNCH (45)
1:00 –Inter-Personal Nonviolent Engagement [SEE APPENDIX III] (60)
• CLARA: Center, Learn, Articulate, Receive, Accomplish. Recalling the reflection on personal
experiences of done before lunch, ask people to identify some of the aspects of interpersonal
nonviolent transformation – what made it successful? List them on easel paper
• Then introduce CLARA and show how they have identified many of these steps
• CLARA Parallel-Lines Exercise; debrief
• In September, CNC is inviting people across the US to engage in Inter-Personal Nonviolent
Engagement. Ask participants to:
• Brainstorm a possible dialogue they could have with an opponent.
• Envision the steps that would be needed to make this happen.
• Imagine how this might go – and how it could be done in a nonviolent spirit
• Reflect on what they would resources and practices they would need to do this successfully
4 2:00 – Fasting from Violence (45)
• We are inviting people everywhere to “fast from violence” during Campaign Nonviolence
Week. Together, we will strive to “fast” from personal, inter-personal and social harm, including
verbal, physical, institutional, or structural violence. At the same time, we will strive to practice
active nonviolence toward ourselves and others that week – and beyond.
• Ask people to brainstorm ways they could “fast from violence” in September – and what resources
and support systems they might need to do so.
• Then ask people to, on the contrary, envision what they could do to unleash the power of active
nonviolence that week.
• This could include developing a confidential personal assessment tool to help identify behaviors.
• (“Fasting from Violence” was developed by Campaign Nonviolence San Diego. We gratefully
acknowledge this powerful and creative practice!)
2:45 -- BREAK (15)
3:00 – How Nonviolent Social Change Works (55)
• Brainstorm of nonviolent social movements
• “How Civil Resistance Works”: Dr. Erica Chenoweth’s research demonstrating that nonviolence is
twice as effective as violent strategies for social change [either presentation or Ted Talk projected]
• Movement-building: removing support for injustice, building people power; alerting, educating,
winning and mobilizing the populace
• Brief overview of “Eight Stages of Successful Social Movements” (45)
3:55– Steps Toward Change (5)
• [Either distribute the “CNV Goals” handout or project the CNV website page with the goals:
http://paceebene.org/programs/campaign-nonviolence/goals/]
• Campaign Nonviolence has set a series of concrete policy changes that would provide important
steps toward the long-term goals of creating a culture free from war, poverty and the climate crisis,
including:
• An international treaty for swift, verifiable action to reverse climate change
• Ending the military drone program
• Establishing a $15 minimum wage for all, and
• K-12 nonviolence education everywhere
• Identify one of these concrete policy shifts. We will use this in the next exercise.
4:00 -- CNV Strategy Exercise: Celebrating and “Remembering” This Change (75)
• Create a long paper “mural” consisting of contiguous panels of flip chart paper taped to wall.
• On last panel write “2025” at the top and list the concrete policy shift from above.
• Explain that we are going to an exercise where we will imagine we are living in 2025, ten years
from now, and we have gathered to celebrate how the movement has achieved this
accomplishment.
• Facilitator prompts participants to “remember” components and turning points (messaging,
framing, slogans, actions, social media, videos, notables, outreach, allies, the 2015 training!), etc.
• The facilitator writes these ideas down.
• Debrief this exercise.
• After first debrief, invite participants to remember the role of “connecting the dots” and
“nonviolence.”
• What were some of the key elements? How many trainings happened? How were they
organized? What lessons are there for our organizing?
5:30 -- Reviewing and assessing the day (15)
5:45 – Closing (15)
5 6:00 – Finish
Day Two: 1:00-5:30pm (Arrive: 12:30pm)
Objectives:
• Building Local CNV Nonviolent Actions
• Building a CNV Local Campaign
1:00 – Nonviolent Action Video
• Show video on Nashville lunch-counter sit-ins. (Option: present example of a successful
nonviolent action.) Debrief. (45)
1:45 – Campaign Nonviolence’s Nonviolence Agreement – SEE APPENDIX I (15)
2:00 – Creating nonviolent action and building the movement (30)
• Reflecting on lessons from the video, ask group to identify all the organizing components one
needs to successfully mount a nonviolent action. (Facilitators add to the list).
• Ask participants to join the following committees:
• Action planning (scenario). This group will design the role-play we will do this afternoon.
(They should strive to integrate the three dimensions of the September actions: “marching
for the world, engaging with others, and transforming our lives.”)
• Strategy (campaign goals, objectives, tactics).
• Connecting the Dots (identifying organizations working on war, poverty and the
environment as well as other nonviolence initiatives; develop plan to do outreach)
• Nonviolence training (creating a plan to spread nonviolence training)
• Media (social media and traditional press work)
• Ask them to brainstorm plans for each of these committees for taking action and building the
movement.
• Debrief.
2:30 – Break (15)
2:45 – Building a CNV September Nonviolent Action (75)
• Action planning committee facilitates finalizing decision about action role-play with large
group (15)
• Develop subcommittees that work on different tasks (30)
3:30 – Role-play and debrief action (45)
4:15 – Geographically-based groups form and create draft action plans (30)
4:45 – Geographically-based groups present plans to large group (30)
5:15 – Individual next steps (15)
• write them down and share at whatever people feel comfortable.) (15)
5:00 – Evaluation (positives / improvements) (30)
5:30 – Closing: Go-around (20)
• Appreciations/learnings (for each person to our left, the around the circle)
5:50 – Commissioning of agents of nonviolent change (10)
6 6:00 – Finish
Appendix I
Campaign Nonviolence’s Nonviolence Agreement
War, poverty, and environmental destruction are colossal forms of violence. In seeking to end them,
Campaign Nonviolence rejects the use of violence for any reason and affirms that all CNV activities will
employ nonviolent tactics exclusively.
Violence and Nonviolence
For the purposes of this agreement, “violence” means behavior involving physical, verbal or emotional
means intended to hurt, damage, or destroy. “Nonviolence,” on the contrary, is a force for transformation,
truth, justice, and the well-being of all that is neither violent nor passive. Concretely expressed in CNV
actions, nonviolence means a commitment to:
• Avoid the use of violence
• Search for the widest possible vista on the truth pertaining to any situation, and
• Being willing to accept the consequences of taking action, including voluntary suffering if
necessary, to bring a conflict to a just resolution.
Guidelines
Campaign Nonviolence actions will have these characteristics in common:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
The attitude of participants will be one of openness, friendliness, and respect towards all people
encountered.
Participants will use no violence, verbal or physical, towards any person, including in reaction to
violence.
Participants will carry no weapons.
Participants will not destroy or damage property.
Participants will not bring or use alcohol or drugs (except for medical purposes).
Participants will not seek to avoid the consequences of their actions.
We encourage CNV action organizers to ask participants to make and abide by this agreement during the
CNV event. We also encourage you to read this agreement aloud to participants before commencing the
nonviolent action.
Adapted from Oregon PeaceWorks and many other sets of nonviolent action guidelines.
7 APPENDIX II
The Stereotypes and Qualities of Nonviolence Exercise
From: Laura Slattery, et al., Engage: Exploring Nonviolent Living (Pace e Bene Press, 2005)
Draw a vertical line on the blackboard. On the left side, write: “Stereotypes or Typical Beliefs.” On the
right side, write: “Qualities or Attributes.”
One presenter will speak; the other will be the scribe who will write down responses from the group.
Ask the students: “What are some typical beliefs or stereotypes that people in our society have about
nonviolence?” (The scribe lists these on the left side of the line on the board.)
Often the responses include: Passive, weak, utopian, naïve, unpatriotic, ineffective, simplistic, idealistic,
impractical, hippies, being a doormat, being at the fringe.
(If they only come up with one or two, encourage them to keep thinking of more, by saying, “What else?”
I find it helpful to repeat each answer with gusto.)
(If you have time, you can ask why they have said certain words—for example, “passive.”)
When you have completed this side of the line, ask, “Now, I’d like: What are the attributes or qualities of
people who have tried to put nonviolence into practice. This could be people you know, or people you
have read about or heard about. They could be people in history or people who are alive today. They
could be famous or they could be one of your friends.”
The scribe lists the words people share on the right side of the line.
This list may include qualities like courageous, determined, creative, centered, disarming, intentional,
compassionate, and Ask if they can think of examples of people, groups, or movements that put these
qualities into practice.
Then compare the two lists. Point out how the attributes (and the examples) contrast with (and
undermines) the stereotypes.
Next, offer the following:
Many people in our society hold these views—and we ourselves might hold them. The problem is that if
we believe that nonviolence is passive, ineffective, etc. we will fail to see and use this power—this power
that is courageous, determined, creative, etc.
Nonviolence is a way to deal with the challenges in our life and our society that is an alternative to either
violence or passivity.
Here is an example of Nonviolence and Nonviolent Living in action. (Briefly present an appropriate story:
For example, the successful, nonviolent Living Wage Campaign at DePaul.)
Ask people to reflect in dyads (twos) or triads (threes) on this story for five minutes and then come back for
a relatively brief large group sharing of what was discussed in the small groups.
8 In light of this discussion, offer the following descriptions of nonviolence (on the Nonviolence handout
that includes nonviolent principles – see below):
•
Nonviolence is a force for transformation, justice, and the well being of all that is neither violent
nor passive.
•
Nonviolence is the love that does justice (Martin Luther King, Jr.),
•
Nonviolence is transforming power (Alternatives to Violence)
•
Nonviolence is love in action (Dorothy Day)
•
Nonviolence is cooperative power (Jonathan Schell).
We are taught different scripts for dealing with conflict and violence in our lives and our world:
Avoidance (escape); Accommodation (going along); and Counter-Attack. This workshop invites us to
explore a fourth approach: Nonviolent Transformation.
9 Appendix III:
The Two Hands of Nonviolence
The Two Hands of Nonviolence Exercise was inspired by the writing of the late Barbara Deming, a
feminist writer and activist. In her book Revolution and Equilibrium, Deming’s metaphor of the two
hands underscores the creative tension that fuels both interpersonal transformation and social change:
With one hand we say to one who is angry, or to an oppressor, or to an unjust system, “Stop what you are
doing. I refuse to honor the role you are choosing to play. I refuse to obey you. I refuse to cooperate with
your demands. I refuse to build the walls and the bombs. I refuse to pay for the guns. With this hand I
will even interfere with the wrong you are doing. I want to disrupt the easy pattern of your life.” But then
the advocate of nonviolence raises the other hand. It is raised out-stretched – maybe with love and
sympathy, maybe not – but always outstretched… With this hand we say, “I won’t let go of you or cast
you out of the human race. I have faith that you can make a better choice than you are making now, and
I’ll be here when you are ready. Like it or not, we are part of one another.”
The Two Hands of Nonviolence – 20 min.
Share the following in your own words.
To conclude our investigation of violence, we’ll explore what each of these responses might feel
like in our bodies with an exercise called, “The Two Hands of Nonviolence.” I’ll demonstrate first
the three typical approaches to violence.
First, there’s avoiding violence. This can be depicted by bending over at the waist, covering your
ears with your hands, and closing your eyes. It’s a sense of retreating from the situation and of not
being involved. One could also just turn around.
Demonstrate each of these postures while describing it.
Next, there’s accommodating violence. This can be depicted by extending your arms in front of
you at about a 45-degree angle (halfway between pointing down or parallel to the ground) with
your palms facing up. It’s that experience of simply passively accepting whatever is happening.
Next, there’s counter-violence, meeting violence with violence. This can be depicted by
extending your arms straight out in front of you, parallel to the ground, palms facing out away
from you, pushing outward.
Finally, there’s active nonviolence. This can be depicted by combining two of the aforementioned
poses: one arm is outstretched at a 45-degree angle with the palm facing up and the other arm is
straight out in front, parallel to the ground. Finally, pulling these two hands (keeping them in their
same mode) closer to the body -- in a relaxed but steady way.
Active nonviolence is a process that holds these two realities in tension and is like saying to a
person:
On the one hand (symbolized by the hand that is out in front of me), I will not cooperate with your
violence or injustice; I will resist it with every fiber of my being.
On the other hand (symbolized by the hand that is open), I am open to you as a human being.
10 Perform each of these slowly. Invite people to hold each pose for 15 to 30 seconds. Ask people to notice
any feelings or sensations that they experience as they hold the poses and imagine in front of them
someone with whom they are in conflict. After going through the entire set, ask people to return to the
approach they think they use most in responding to conflict or violence. Then ask them to return to the
approach they think they use the least.
Debrief in Pairs
Invite the participants to pair up and share with their partner on the following:
•
•
•
What did you notice in doing the postures?
What did you feel in your body?
Did you notice any difference between the first three responses and the fourth (Two Hands)
response?
Bring the group back together and conclude the exercise with two or three sharings from the participants.
Convey the following in your own words if it has not been raised:
Thinking in terms of “scripts,” and trying to experience what they might feel like bodily can be
helpful in our recognizing what we are doing, and how we can possibly unlearn these scripts
and write new ones.
11 APPENDIX IV
CLARA:
Center, Learn, Articulate, Receive, Accomplish
In our lives, we’re facing conflicts all the time. To respond we seek the most effective, truthful ways to
engage these conflicts. We desire to use a way that acknowledges the full dignity of myself and the other
person.
This way of approaching conflict stems from a foundation or fundamental stance of compassion, truth,
and love, including agape, or loving your “enemy.” It is grounded in Mahatma Gandhi’s concept of
Satyagraha, or Soulforce, which means integrating three aspects: speaking the truth, loving the enemy, and
noncooperating with injustice and violence.
CLARA -- Center, Learn, Articulate, Receive, and Accomplish – is a five-step process for nonviolent
engagement and transformation. CLARA means “clear” in Spanish. This process is a way to become clear
in a conflict and relate face-to-face with others in a nonviolent way, and is also a method for
understanding how nonviolent action in social movements happens. This search to get clear helps us to
use nonviolent approaches rather than avoid, accommodate, or use violence to meet violence. When
these are seen and integrated to our understanding, we constructively and creatively seek to discover
win/win scenarios to emerge. Let us now go through this process step by step.
Centering is the process of being really present to myself and who I am in this moment. I am making
contact with what is really happening within myself, my truest self, the core of my being – that part of me
where my heart, mind, and body are connected, and my heart is allowed to function unobstructed. By
anchoring myself in my heart, I am prepared to respond, not simply to react, to the conflict I am facing. I
may decide to protect myself. I may decide to engage. In either case, I can act from a place where I am
most truly who I am, and not simply from a worn-out and potentially destructive script.
Brainstorm with participants how they center and ground themselves. Some possible ways include (write
these on easel paper after soliciting from group):
Centering and Grounding is done at two levels, one before you get together to address the conflict, and
the other in the moment of the conflict itself.
Before you meet with the other person to work through the conflict, some practices include:
• Prayer/meditation
• Walking
• hiking/being in nature
• talking/role-playing with friends
In the moment, some centering techniques include:
• Breathing -- and focusing on one’s breath
• Asking the other person to sit down
• Silently repeating a meaningful or sacred prayer, word, mantra, or name
• Recognizing and naming one’s emotional state in that moment (fear, anger, sadness,
happiness, and so forth).
12 Step Two: Learning My Truth
When we get into conflicts we are quite often misperceiving each other. We are often projecting or
creating narratives that are not real. Learning my truth helps me to get clear what my truth is independent
of my projections and the other’s true story.
This involves a 3-step process: Observation, Understanding, and Insight (OUI). In French, “Oui” means
“Yes.” Here we are saying yes to embracing a deeper understanding of the layers of truth in this step.
OBSERVATION:
This involves observing and noticing the visible and physical elements of a conflict, including:
• Noticing what is there
• Inner and outer sensory observation
• Discovering the facts without evaluation.
• Emotions in ourselves and in other.
• What we notice emotions trigger in the body.
• Seeing what is happening in the environment.
Body-emotional practices like those found in Capacitar can assist us with navigating this step.
UNDERSTANDING:
This involves understanding the conflict more deeply by acquiring and using various tools to get
knowledge, such as:
• Mapping model which maps the levels of relationship in the parties to the conflict
• The ABC model which analyzes the Attitudes, Behaviors, and Consequences of the
conflict.
INSIGHT:
This involves the power of penetrating into a situation to apprehend the inner nature of the conflict
and to see it intuitively to achieve wisdom. Here I will focus on issues such as:
• Mapping the different types of power, including personal, position, oppression, privilege,
etc.
• Mapping Kenneth Boulding’s 3 types of power, including coercive, exchange and
integrative power
• Analyzing the different kinds of culture
• Looking at identity of the different actors
Thus, insight is going beyond your narrow understanding. It is motivational to take action. It is a threshold
for articulating our truth and sharing it. So, I imagine I have a horizontal circle and start with a small field
which expands into larger fields. This is happening in an organic, not predetermined manner. Observing
is the smaller field. Understanding makes the field larger and with Insight, the field is much larger still.
Thus, I clear the ground and get to a broader view with many more options and possibilities.
Step Three: Articulating My Truth
The goal of Step Three is to identify and speak clearly what is happening for me in the moment. This
involves discerning and discovering what I am truly feeling and needing, and then sharing it with the other
person. This can often be denied, disguised or diminished by years of conditioned thinking or personal
behaviors that reflect the repetitive messages of false humility and resulting feelings of worthlessness,
passivity or suppressed anger. By being open, direct, vulnerable, and inviting, I am disarming myself so
that the other person can feel less defensive. I have an attitude of interest and curiosity, trying to learn
from the other. I believe in cooperation, AND I will not cooperate with injustice. I need to learn how to
speak my truth without violating the truth of my ‘opponent’, or anyone else for that matter. I don’t want to
engage in a power struggle, but believe I can reach a win-win solution.
13 Brainstorm with participants how they can do this. Some examples include (write these on the easel
paper):
Relaxing body posture
Speaking slowly and softly
Using “I” statements such as:
 I feel…
 I believe…
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) offers a 4-step process that fits within articulating one’s truth and
proceeds as follows:
• Observation: Share what I observe about the other’s behavior (see, hear, etc.) without judgment
• Feelings: In noticing the other’s observation, how do I feel?
• Needs: The deeper needs underneath what I am feeling
• Request: What I would like to ask the other person to say and/or do.
•
•
•
Step Four: Receiving the Truth of the Other Person
Step Four involves deep listening to the other person’s truth: what their feelings are and what they need. It
requires us to be truly curious and interested in the other, in their position and in them as human beings.
We are limited beings with a finite understanding of and possession of the Truth. Our commitment should
be to the Truth, more than our version of the truth. This insight -- the fact that we only have a piece of the
truth – opens us to the piece of the truth of the other person, including our opponent. Our opponent often
has a piece of the truth that we are missing, that we will only get by being curious and listening with our
hearts. There is a reason that they are holding a position different from the one you are; try to get to it.
Brainstorm some possible ways to do this step. Some examples include (write on easel paper):
• Listening actively without thinking what I will say next
• Asking questions with curiosity (this is emphasized strongly in Nonviolent
Communication)
• Asking questions by lowering my voice at the end of the sentence
• Asking what the person means by certain words, beliefs, or feelings
• Not cooperating with any injustice in the situation
• Checking out any of my own assumptions concerning the situation
• Explore any inconsistencies I may notice between the other person’s words and their
non-verbal communication (for example, when someone says in a loud, forced voice,
“I am fine!” I see a contradiction). This is a strong aspect of Powerful Non-Defensive
Communication. (www.pndc.com)
If I need time to think through the other’s sharing, I ask to resume the conversation later.
Step Five: Accomplishing an Outcome
Step Five is the process of revealing the truth and untruth of both parties, and finding ways to put the “two
truths together” and discover the points of agreement where the needs of both parties are met.
Realizing that truth gets revealed over time, and that our learning and growing is a process, I remain
constantly open to revising my understanding as I am transformed in the truth.
Brainstorm some possible ways to do this step. Some examples include (write on easel paper):
• Propose the elements where you see that you both agree on
• Ask the other person’s feedback and any places they see of agreement
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Ask the other person if each of you can consider the truth of the other and can agree
on any of those additional pieces of the truth
Agree to disagree on the elements that are clearly in opposition to each other
Come to a final agreement and restate so you are both clear about it
Take some silent time for each person to see how the agreement feels to each person to
see if each person feels satisfied about getting at least some of his/her needs met
Write down the final agreement if it makes sense
Discuss with the other person how the agreement changes your relationship
Consider accountability: Talk about how you will check in with each other from this
point onwards (when and where) to see how the new agreement is working for you
both and if any adjustments may have to be made
15 Appendix V:
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Principles of Nonviolent Resistance
1) Nonviolence is a way of life for courageous people.
* It is active nonviolent resistance to evil.
* It is assertive spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
* It is always persuading the opponent of the justice of your cause.
2) Nonviolence seeks to win friendship and understanding.
* The end result of nonviolence is redemption and reconciliation.
* The purpose of nonviolence is the creation of the Beloved Community.
3) Nonviolence seeks to defeat injustice, not people.
* Nonviolence holds that evildoers are also victims.
4) Nonviolence holds that voluntary suffering can educate and transform.
* Nonviolence willingly accepts the consequences of its acts.
* Nonviolence accepts suffering without retaliation.
* Nonviolence accepts violence if necessary, but will never inflict it.
* Unearned suffering is redemptive and has tremendous educational and transforming possibilities.
* Suffering can have the power to convert the enemy when reason fails.
5) Nonviolence chooses love instead of hate.
* Nonviolence resists violence of the spirit as well as of the body.
* Nonviolent love gives willingly, knowing that the return might be hostility.
* Nonviolent love is active, not passive.
* Nonviolent love does not sink to the level of the hater.
* Love for the enemy is how we demonstrate love for ourselves.
* Love restores community and resists injustice.
* Nonviolence recognizes the fact that all life is interrelated.
6) Nonviolence believes that the universe is on the side of justice.
* The nonviolent resister has deep faith that justice will eventually win.
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