Act 2 Scene 2
TIME: The next Morning. PLACE: The Valburg agency. Athena’s office.
(ARACHNE enters with an arrangement of “welcome back” flowers to place on ATHENA’s desk.
As gets closer, we hear ATHENA “being pleasured.” ARACHNE gasps. A mildly disheveled
ATHENA pulls her skirt down as the chair spins around.)
ATHENA
Can I help you Miss Ogletree?
ARACHNE
You weren’t supposed to be in here. Not until tomorrow. That’s what we were told.
(BRADLEY stands up from behind the chair. Wipes his mouth on his sleeve.)
ARACHNE CONT’D
Oh my god.
BRADLEY
You thought I was gay.
ARACHNE
Well, yeah.
BRADLEY
Well, you know how they say a disproportionate number of hookers are lesbians…
ARACHNE
No.
BRADLEY
Oh. Well, then.
(exiting)
See you in the conference room at 10.
ARACHNE
(meekly)
Surprise.
ATHENA
You will say nothing about this.
ARACHNE
I can’t see how it’s any of my business.
ATHENA
Did you hear Javier left me for a younger woman?
ARACHNE
Yes. I did. I didn’t believe it.
ATHENA
It’s not true.
ARACHNE
It’s not.
ATHENA
He was just a … red herring, if you will. I do not need the press poking around in my private life. The
whores. We went to a couple of parties together. For the cameras. If you’re not seen in public with
someone once in a while, they start asking questions. I used Javier for as long as I had to and then got rid
of him. It’s really been Bradley for a long time now.
ARACHNE
Since before The Bar that night?
ATHENA
Long before you started here. I need him. What can I say?
ARACHNE
There’s no need to explain.
ATHENA
It’s in his own best interests we keep it quiet. It’s in the best interests of the agency, really. What people
don’t know … And what’s the use of power if you can’t abuse it?
ARACHNE
I wouldn’t know. I’m sorry for … not knocking. I was going to put these flowers on your desk. A sort of
welcome back gesture from a few of us. Megan, Soledad, George…
ATHENA
They’re lovely. Why don’t you put them in the conference room? I’m looking forward to your
presentation.
ARACHNE
(overlapping)
Oh, great idea. Thank you.
ATHENA
And would you mind telling Bradley I’d like that latte now.
ARACHNE
Sure. It’s good to have you back.
(SHE exits. Music. Flowers are placed as scene shifts to the conference room for the
presentation. The CHORUS enters in their corporate personas. Lights shift, spotlighting
ARACHNE delivering the pitch we heard conceived the night before to the clients. ATHENA and
BRADLEY look on.)
ARACHNE
Olive oil is sexy. Extra virgin or not. People are using it because it’s sensual. It stimulates their senses.
They want to be healthy, sexy, and strong. Like athletes -- Olympians. The camera starts so tightly
zoomed in on two runners, we’re not sure what we’re looking at until the camera begins to pull back.
Their perspiring muscles glisten in the sun. Then in a moment of silent agreement –eye contact -- they
stop in the shade of an olive grove to rest. They breathe in the scent. It is permeating. She offers her
water bottle. Their hands graze. We don’t have to see what’s next, to know. And then the bottle.
Caselli’s Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Imported from Greece. Keep the info to a minimum.
ATHENA
(to clients)
I have to apologize. This is the first I’ve heard this. This is not the presentation Ms. Ogletree was
supposed to make.
ARACHNE
I was going to tell you but …
ATHENA
You were.
(to clients)
It’s been an erratic morning. Excuse the crossed communication wires. Ms. Olgetree, that was… steamy.
But, if you wouldn’t mind-GRACE
There’s no need to apologize, Athena.
CHARITY
This is exactly the kind of campaign we were hoping you would come up with. Sexy, but tasteful.
HOPE
Sex, as they say, sells.
GRACE
It’s like an old movie … and the camera cuts to the fireplace flickering. Or whatever.
CHARITY
Right. No need to explode fireworks. We get it.
HOPE
And even more important: we want it.
GRACE
Congratulations Ms. Ogletree.
ATHENA
You don’t even want to look at the other presentation?
CHARITY
What’s the point? We’ve got our campaign.
ATHENA
Glistening athletes so turned on they can’t keep their adrenalized hands off each other?
BRADLEY
Adrenal-what?
ATHENA
Look it up.
GRACE
I understand this isn’t what you were expecting, but the kid here has done good.
CHARITY
If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous.
(As they all laugh, with increasing nervous realization, an invisible spider crawls out of the flower
bouquet on the conference table. ATHENA screams. She stands on a chair shaking in hysterical
fear. ARACHNE instinctively and potentially unnoticed, records a video with her phone.)
ATHENA
Don’t just sit there, Bradley. Kill it. Oh my god.
BRADLEY
Kill what?
ATHENA
The spider. It’s right there.
(almost hyperventilating)
Oh my god. Can’t you see it? It just came out of the flowers.
BRADLEY
Oh, it’s tiny. Calm down Miss Valburg. I’ve got it.
ATHENA
Hurry up, oh my god. I hate spiders.
GRACE
Is this for real?
HOPE
I used to have a friend like that. So completely terrified and gripped with fear it was --
CHARITY
--Arachnophobia!
(The CHORUS laughs.)
GRACE
Oh that’s, pardon me, punny.
ATHENA
It’s not funny at all.
(BRADLEY kills the spider. ATHENA composes herself, climbing down off the chair, etc.)
BRADLEY
It’s dead.
ATHENA
Thank you. (beat) I was bit by a spider when I was a child. My whole entire body swelled up. I almost
died.
GRACE
I’m so sorry.
ARACHNE
That wasn’t in your book.
ATHENA
No. And this won’t be in the second edition.
CHARITY
It will be our little secret.
ATHENA
Olgetree get these flowers out of here. Now.
ARACHNE
Yes, Miss Valburg.
ATHENA
Take them out of the building. Out to some dumpster in the alley.
HOPE
I’m afraid of heights.
CHARITY
Clowns.
GRACE
When I was little I was afraid of vampires, but now they’re so stylish.
ATHENA
I appreciate the empathy, but there’s no need. If you’re sure this is what you want, we’ll get to work on
the mockups immediately.
CHARITY
We love it.
ATHENA
Fantastic. We’re thrilled we could please you. My assistant Bradley will be in touch with the details.
(CHORUS exits.)
ATHENA
What was that? Did you know anything about this?
BRADLEY
No, I –
ATHENA
Take a couple of lousy months off and it’s mutiny.
(ARACHNE enters hesitantly.)
ATHENA
That was fast.
ARACHNE
I gave it to maintenance. Eugene swore they’d take the bouquet out directly.
ATHENA
I don’t suppose this was all part of some -ARACHNE
I didn’t know you were afraid of spiders.
ATHENA
Are you sure? It seems like something that might have come up, considering…
ARACHNE
I’ve never heard you say you were afraid of anything.
ATHENA
Well you can’t blame me for wondering after this little stunt you pulled.
ARACHNE
I’m sorry. It felt wrong. I just came up with this new idea last night. We didn’t have a chance to talk
about it.
ATHENA
My idea wasn’t sexy enough for you? You damn hipsters think you know everything.
ARACHNE
No, I just – I just thought it was a good idea.
ATHENA
Of course it was a good idea, but that doesn’t trump protocol. This is civilization, darling, we have
etiquette. We respect our – those who have paved the way for us.
ARACHNE
I’m so sorry. I just – I went with my instincts.
ATHENA
You were showing off. You’re fired.
ARACHNE
But, what about –
ATHENA
You will surrender all of your designs and notes to Bradley and we will execute this campaign without
you.
ARACHNE
That’s not fair.
ATHENA
I gave you a chance and you blew it.
(She begins to exit, then stops and turns around.)
I know what you're thinking. I'm shriveled up. Dried up. No more ideas left. Plastic surgery can patch the
exterior but it cannot restore the verve. You don’t get to the top without growing a little calloused.
What will you do someday when a younger, smarter version of you comes along? If only I could buy
time, I’d liquidate my entire fortune. This generation of yours - the entitled generation - you think you
can take what we bled and sweat for, and have more on top of that? What we achieved is not good
enough for you? You think you can have a family, and children, too, and a career? A short commute to
your cozy, yet stylish home where make dinner with your enlightened husbands? Good Luck. I've never
once dated a man that wasn't threatened by me, except maybe rock stars. But they're babies who can't
commit to brushing their teeth every day. The richer and more powerful the man, the greater the
asshole. You're ambitious, but you’re torn. You need to decide how badly you want it. You’re not going
to get there burning bridges. (beat) Go play with your little art projects and leave us alone.
(She exits. BRADLEY and ARACHNE are stunned.)
ARACHNE
I can’t believe she fired me. I know, you told me so.
BRADLEY
I didn’t think she was going to fire you. You’re too good.
ARACHNE
Good enough to get a job elsewhere.
BRADLEY
I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
ARACHNE
But you just said –
BRADLEY
You think she’s going to let you take what you know, and your talent, to a competing firm.
ARACHNE
Then I’ll leave New Lydia.
BRADLEY
Maybe. It’s hard to tell how angry she is.
ARACHNE
You wanna see angry? I got that on video.
BRADLEY
What? That put-you-in-your-place exit speech? So. She’s Athena Valburg. It’ll take more than –
(ARACHNE plays back the video. We can here ATHENA’s hysterical screaming from the spider
episode.)
BRADLEY
Oh. That.
ARACHNE
Uh-huh.
BRADLEY
You shouldn’t post that.
ARACHNE
She shouldn’t have fired me.
BRADLEY
She’ll destroy you.
ARACHNE
She already has. This job was all I had left. What else can she take away from me?
BRADLEY
I’m sure she’ll think of something. Look there’s a part of me that would love to see that video go viral,
but … for your own sake, Neena. Walk away quietly. Start a new life. Let her go now and maybe she’ll
regret it someday. Not that she’ll ever admit it, but … really Arachne. Think twice.
(HE exits. ARACHNE sits down and we hear the video again as she watches it.)
ARACHNE
I think too much.
(The lights dim as she appears to upload the video, then exits. The CHORUS enters.)
HOPE
It appears our Arachne has hung herself.
GRACE
Metaphorically, that does seems to be the case.
CHARITY
I can’t believe she posted that video. Have you seen it? Hysterical.
HOPE
We saw it go down in person...
CHARITY
I know but to see it on YouTube – did you read the comments?! It’s too much.
GRACE
In the myth, Athena feels pity for Arachne.
HOPE
In one version, the goddess sprinkled Arachne’s lifeless body with the juices of aconite. Resurrecting her.
CHARITY
Aconite is a pretty purple flower
GRACE
In this story, Arachne is not so fortunate.
CHARITY
As you can imagine, Athena went ballistic when that video hit the fan.
CHARITY
TMZ had a field day.
GRACE
They spoofed it on Saturday Night Live.
HOPE
Athena Valburg will always be a star. No blooper reel can take that away from her. But her ego’s been
damaged.
CHARITY
Hell hath no fury –
GRACE
You only get one reputation.
(BLACKOUT)