The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Carlton Toastmasters Club, No: 2991848
The Carlton Argonaut
Winter Edition 2016
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
What a year at Carlton
2016 District 73 Toastmasters
Convention Carlton Wrap Up
That Was The (1/2) Year That Was
Something to learn
Speeches and Stories
Educationals
Photo Albums
Carlton Toastmasters
Meeting Information:
Carlton Toastmasters Club
meets on the 1st, 3rd & 5th
Wednesday of each month from
6.45pm to 9.30pm
We meet at The Hon Don Chip
Theatrette, Ikon Park (Princes
Park), Royal Parade, Carlton
North. Enter through the main
glass doors marked "Carlton
Football Club".
NB: Access to the building is
restricted - If you arrive late call
9016 0169 for access.
•Via car: Royal Parade
entrance to ample on-site free
car parking (if approaching from
the CBD you will need to do a
"U" turn to access the car park
entrance)
•Via tram: Tram 19 to stop 16
(the entrance is 100m north)
For Submissions to the Carlton
Argonaut please contact
Michael Clancy (VPPR 2015/6):
[email protected]
Darrell Pitt (VPPR 2016/7):
[email protected]
What a year at Carlton
What a wonderful year it has been for Carlton Toastmasters. I’ve learnt so much in
my year as President and I would like to say a huge thank you to all of the hard
working executive team and fantastic members of Carlton for all of your support, and
for all that you’ve taught me, given to me and shared with me over these past 12
months. Each member has made a unique and valuable contribution to the success
of the club. When I first joined Carlton, I remember Patrick joking with me that I could
be President of this club one day but I never really believed that could happen.
Patrick taught me to believe in myself, to dream big, and that anything was possible,
and for that I will be eternally grateful. I know he is there in someway with us always,
watching over every meeting, and counting all of our 'umms'. Patrick's incredible
legacy of strength, integrity and courage will live on in Carlton forever, and I hope will
continue to be felt by all future members and guests to pass through the doors at
Ikon Park for many, many years to come. Wishing incoming President Phil and all of
the new executive team a fun, successful and enjoyable year ahead.
You’re going to be awesome!
Sarah Hanieh (President 2015-2016)
Shingdig-a-thon
When: 8am-10pm Saturday 13 August 2016
Meeting times: 8am,10:30am, 1:30pm, 4:00pm,
7pm
Where: Austin Hospital, 145 Studley Road,
Heidelberg
How: To register go to
http://www.eventbrite.com/e/shingdig-athontickets-26239169061
Costs
Speaker (5-7 mins)* - $10
Toastmaster - $10
General Evaluator - $10
Audience – gold coin donation
*All speakers are required to
perform an evaluation on the
day
Carlton members, beginning with Patrick’s Charter members, demonstrate the natural progression
from Club and Executive to Area, Division, District, and beyond, as great Leaders and
Communicators. Every one of those members carries Patrick's legacy with them.
That is Patrick’s gift to Toastmasters.
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
2016 District 73
Toastmasters Convention
Carlton Wrap Up.
The convention started on Friday and by the time
our flights departed Adelaide on Sunday, Carlton
could hold its head up with pride. Carlton ROCKED
in so many ways. Let’s recount the weekend and
count the ways Carlton rocked…
1/ Cleo Pitt was the most amazing Humorous
Contest Chair on the Friday night! We were put in
the mood for some great humorous speeches
with Cleo’s amazing Laughter Yoga.
2/ Despite being almost declared dead from the
flu during the week, Ha Du, delivered her ‘Ha-HaHa Ha, Ha-Ha-Ha Ha’ as if she owned the stage.
With her timing, pauses, punches and punch lines
delivered with the facial emotions and vocal
variety of a professional Speaker, Stand Up
Comedian, Kung Fu Fighter, Assassin [Use where
appropriate], Ha entertained and gave us the
winning speech. What a start to the weekend.
Congratulations to Ha! The smile on Ha beamed
as she was awarded her prize by International
Toastmaster President, Jim Kokocki.
3/ Darrell Pitt was the most debonair
International Contest Chair on Saturday! His cool
calm exterior did not betray his excitement or any
hint of anticipation for what was to be a very
close contest.
4/ Carlton President Sarah Hanieh with ‘Make
Every Beat Count’ had us spell bound. We may be
just bags of blood, but we are durable because
the energy in the room exploded when Sarah was
announced the winner. The smile on every
Carlton member’s face beamed as Sarah was
awarded her prize by International Toastmaster
President, Jim Kokocki.
5/ While Carlton did not have anyone competing
in the Table Topics contest, we pause to reflect
and remember, Carlton founder, the late Patrick
Shing, last year’s winner of this competition.
Patrick's legacy will never be lost. It continues in everyone whose
life Patrick touched and through their actions it influences others,
even those who never knew him. Carlton, thanks to Patrick’s
guidance, became the best Club in District, M22 the best Area.
6/ The Gala Dinner saw Darrell Pitt and Anthony
Browne both awarded Triple Crown awards (3 or
more awards in a single year) presented by
International Toastmaster President, Jim Kokocki.
The Gala Dinner also saw Carlton celebrate as wild
animals. But in this case it was nothing to be
embarrassed about as the theme of the dinner was
‘Call of the Wild’ (though some say Michael just
looked like a wild Adelaide supporter).
7/ Carlton’s legacy from Patrick Shing is the belief
that evaluations are one of the most important
building blocks of successful public speaking. And
while we did not have a contestant in this Travis
Finlayson chaired contest on Sunday morning,
Carlton’s Vivian Goh was splendid as the test speaker.
As this was the Final of D73 Evaluations, it was not
meant to be easy for Evaluators, and Vivian delivered
an almost (so there are improvements?) flawless
speech on ‘Meeting the Inlaws’. In her beautifully
crafted speech, Vivian sang into our hearts, and
minds with her very entertaining speech.
Well done Vivian.
8/ Carlton’s Christine Dimitros, is the incoming
District 73 Program Quality Director.
9/ Winner of the convention first timers award,
Carlton's Phil Harkin.
10/ And the last thing to be done was to hand over
the District 73 Convention Gavel to the 2017
Convention committee to be hosted by Carlton and
Fitzroy. Cleo Pitt accepted the gavel and entertained
the crowd with an epic 5 minute film. Shot on
location somewhere, staring Anthony, Sarah, Darrell,
Christine, and Cleo. Written and Directed by Darrell.
As host of the 2017 Convention, Carlton and Fitzroy
will have lots to do over the next twelve months, so
realise your Inner Hero, and offer to help!
11/ The following Carlton people were seen at the
2016 D73 Convention! Sarah, Rebecca, Ha, Michael,
Vivian, Bibi, Anthony, Darrell, Natalie, Cleo, Andrea,
Christine, Phil, Marcus (and Natalie’s partner Glenn
who is included because I stole his coat…)
Next year’s convention is to be hosted by Carlton and
Fitzroy Toastmaster Clubs. We would love to see all
Carlton members attend.
Are you up to the challenge, Carlton?!
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
That Was The (Half) Year
That Was…
A brief recap on the wonderful and varied speeches
given at Carlton Toastmasters between January and
June 2016.
1. Selina practised the new ‘English’ accent she
acquired through her boyfriend’s gift of speech
therapy, during her Entertaining speech ‘Be like a
Comedian; act like a normal person’
2. Natalie took us on ‘A Day in the Life of a Nat’,
describing how a sales superstar cold calls real
estate agents, shrugs off indifference and celebrates
her wins.
3. Anthony called on us all to ‘Light a Fire’ after
he explained how supporting front line fire fighters,
during Black Saturday, lit a metaphorical fire that
took his career in new directions.
4. Michael ‘Awarded’ the club with the first semiannual Carlton Argonaut; thanking all newsletter
contributors for their stories and photos of our club’s
late founder, Patrick Shing, who provided inspiration
for the inaugural Summer issue.
5. After being a member since November, then
waiting for the Christmas festivities and New Year
revelries to pass, we finally got to hear ‘From the
Beginning’, an icebreaker from Clay. It was worth
the wait, for this CC#1 had humour and drama. Clay
took us on a journey from ferrets and failed
businesses to fish & chips then fire-fighting on one of
the worst days in fire-fighting memory. Well done
Clay, we look forward to your next speech soon!
6. After returning from the Arctic Circle, our
sporting hero Rebecca gave us a Touching Story
(Storytelling #4) with ‘Just say Yes’. Pursuing
Extreme Sports and setting a blinding pace on the
dog sled team, enabled Rebecca to see the Northern
Lights with a little help from Yes the Huskie.
7. Christine gave us a Moral of the Story
(Storytelling #3) with ‘The Small Inanimate Object’
about the perils of failing to notice security devices
on your clothes. As it turned out, it does come out in
the wash…
8. Michael took us back to the 60’s and his
childhood, with his ‘to Walk on The Moon’ for
Bringing History to Life (Storytelling #5). The dramas
of the moon mission and the fulfilment of a dream
combined to show what is capable when you set
your goals high.
9. Sarah gave us ‘Every Beat’ as part of Uplift the
Spirit (Specialty Speeches #2). It was a moving and
thought provoking speech that had us all hoping the
tall strapping single Rob would one day come out
and say the right four words...
10. Showing courage was Filipina with ‘All I want
for Christmas’ her CC#2-Organise your Speech.
With ukulele in hand Filipina took us on her
courageous journey through her new year’s
resolutions, none of which had her falling off her bike
and losing her teeth.
11. Phil gave us a travelogue of places that he had
the pleasure of visiting over Christmas. ‘Everything
Speaks’ was his CC#5-Your Body Speaks in which
he fully conversed his way through free meals with
‘Sake’ in Japan without a word of Japanese, but
found a bag full of Olives expensive in Austria.
12. ‘Question Mark’ was the title of an Entertaining
Speaker#5 – Speaking after dinner, in which Vivian
went round the room singing the praises of all the
members present and how they have influenced her.
Speaking off the cuff, this impromptu speech was
warm and entertaining.
13. Cleo stood up and to the delight of all, told a
Humorously Speaking #4 – Keep them laughing
speech on the Bra. Simply titled ‘The Bra’, the
speech had many ups, with as many lifts and
separations as the undergarment that she was
talking about.
14. Cleo told us all about her ‘Life with Darrell’ a
Humorously Speaking#5-The Humorous Speech.
Cleo told us of how Darrell has taken her to the
Stars, both the Trek and War, Movies, along with
various Evil Dead Zombie Vampire Killer Thriller and
Suspense movies. Cleo did let it slip that she still
prefers movies with red dresses and roses rather
than the red planet or red blood.
15. Jez kept us all enthralled with his brilliant icebreaker speech that had everything- music, singing,
and even a glimpse of a long-haired Jez from
yesteryear! Thank you Jez for sharing your story and
giving us a wonderful insight into your life.
16. Kern moved us all with his very personal and
inspiring account of the reasons behind why he
joined Toastmasters. A story of inspiration, courage
and determination that had us all on our feet
cheering for him.
17. We heard from Arash who entertained us with a
humorous and engaging window into ‘The life of
ATK’ - now we all know who he is and we can’t wait
to hear more from him.
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
18. Leigh gave us a brilliant delivery of the short
story ‘Falling’ as part of the interpretive reading
manual. Thank you Leigh for showing what can be
done with a simple story and a clear and captivating
voice.
19. We heard Ha bravely deliver an impromptu
style speech and show us what can be achieved
when you step outside of your comfort zone.
20. Maddie who never fails to impress, with his
unique and interesting speeches and continued rapid
growth as a speaker.
21. Rob scared and enthralled us with his crisis
management speech, and even fielded questions
from a very rowdy media audience. I know who I
want on my side in a crisis!
22. Carly with ‘The Boots Made from Crocodile
Leather’ (Storytelling#1 – The Folk Tale). Carly told
us the story of Ex-Army Solider, Trousers, and how
he saved Shiny Black Boots, the Australian Cricket
Captain, from a dozen Bushrangers (No relation to
the Victorian Cricket Team).
23. A Speaker said her name was Selina (she may
have been lying), with a speech ‘Lies and Why’
(The Entertaining Speaker#2 Resources for
Entertainment). In this speech, Lies were discussed
and there may have been one or twenty untruths,
because the truth can be hurtful.
24. Bibi presented ‘Lessons from the Tour part 2:
Micro Finance’ (Speaking to Inform #2 Resources
for Informing). In the presentation, Bibi was able to
persuade us that not all banks are full of ‘Greedy Fat
Cat Bankers’, as she explained microfinance and its
benefits to empowering the disadvantaged and
excluded members of our communities.
25. Cleo’s ‘Find Your Inner Hero’ (Speaking to
Inform #2 The Speech to Inform). In this speech Cleo
told us of her upcoming quest to find her Inner Hero
for 2017. Her Quest will involve Fitzroy and Carlton
Toastmasters Clubs coming together for a big event.
Stay tuned for more!
26. Celeste in her CC#2: Organise Your Speech.
Celeste told us with absolute clarity that ‘We Would
Fail’. Celeste was convincing right up until the end
when she added one simple word… ‘Unless’! One
simple word that gave us all so much hope!
27. Michael(L) CC#2: Organise Your Speech, ‘It’s
OK to be normal’. Michael told us that we don’t
need ambition, or have to strive to be perfect, that
being Normal is all we need. That, while we do
remember and learn from Icarus’ failings, we often
fail to appreciate and celebrate Daedalus’ success.
28. Also doing his CC#2: Organise Your Speech,
was Arash. Arash posed the question ‘Do we make
decisions, or do our decisions make us’ in his
thought provoking speech. A beautifully crafted
speech, showing the tremendous talent that is
present at Carlton!
29. As the Usherette from Michael(C)’s play sat us
all down for a bit of fun as he presented Interpretive
Reading #4 the Play. And the Usherette was just the
first of 7 unique characters Michael portrayed in his
one man play ‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’.
30. Cleo followed the Time Warp with ‘The Bid’ a
report on her bid, on behalf of Carlton and Fitzroy
TM clubs, to host the 2017 Convention.
Congratulations to our hero, Cleo, on a successful
bid as part of her High Performance Leadership task.
31. Kern with his CC#2(Organise Your Speech) ‘Do
opinions matter?’ From being lost in Italy to
adventure parks, it’s just an opinion that tells us who
and what we are and do. For opinions are thoughts
not facts.
32. Also doing CC#2 (Organise Your Speech) was
Jez with ‘Are Machines Taking Over?’ With a quote
from Moondog, ‘Machines were mice once upon a
time..’, Jez discussed the utopia and dystopia of a
world where machines make decisions faster than
the speed of thought.
33. Darrell mastered Public Relations #4(Speaking
Under Fire), despite some fiery questioning from the
audience. His news conference, ‘Waste Not, Want
Not’ had us almost believing that Australia was
embarking on a new global adventure in nuclear
waste management...
34. Delivering ‘A little bit about me!’ CC#1 (The
Ice Breaker), Katrina took us on a journey from her
Irish Catholic upbringing in central Victoria where
she was a free range kid, to her Masters in
Counselling Psychology. Calm, composed and
confident:
35. Anthony’s ‘Life is like a Boomerang’ CC#8
(Get Comfortable with Visual Aids) told us all that
with life, what you give, will return to you. Despite
having written his own eulogy, we know that we will
not have to wait for it to be read, to know that
Anthony’s passion is to help others to achieve their
dreams.
36. Filipina with ‘Cottonopolis’, her CC#3 ‘Get to
the Point’. As Filipina shopped with John from
Manchester, we discovered further delights of
Manchester. Not the sheets department, but the
English city famous for its cotton production back in
the industrial revolution (it may also have a football
team or two…)
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
37. Arash with ‘Live or Leave’, for his CC#3 ‘Get to
the Point’. Arash explored the choices we make,
discussing the choice of staying and fighting or
running away. He noted that Passion and Love can
bring encouragement to our choices.
38. Phil delivered ‘Slowing Down’ CC#6 Vocal
Variety, where he discussed the difference slowing
down the rain water runoff can benefit our drought
ravaged country. With his vivid storytelling and
beautiful word pictures we learnt about and were
inspired by the natural force of water.
39. Christine gave ‘Sagarmatha’ as her CC#10,
Inspire your audience. In this inspirational speech,
Christine shared the insight that trekking is hard
work! The goddess of the sky will always make
giving up the easier path, but with her hunky hero,
the good Karma, Christine has an attitude that can
conquer altitude.
40. Darrell gave us a Public Relations #5 – The
Crisis Management Speech with ‘Loss’. Darrell
lamented the loss of a million dollars from the
Carlton Toastmasters Club account to a little known
Collingwood supporter, a man with many aliases,
now holidaying in Uruguay. Darrell then answered
questions from the members of press present. He
did try to avoid questions from two reporters, who
wanted to ask about his upcoming trip to a country
that does NOT have an extradition treaty with
Australia!!
41. Cleo finished her Interpretive Reading, #5 The
Play, with ‘Good Will Hunting’. Whether she was
speaking as Matt Damon (Will Hunting), Robin
Williams (Sean Maguire) or Stellan Skarsgard (Prof.
Gerald Lambeau), Cleo was entertaining and
moving. We all felt the passion and conflict that Cleo
portrayed.
42. Maddie talked about ‘Loneliness – The most
terrible Poverty’ CC#7 Research Your Topic. An
engaging and fact driven speech about loneliness
and isolation and the distinctions between them.
Thankfully Maddie has reassured us all that
loneliness is NOT the Toastmaster experience.
43. Katrina with her ‘The Problem with Work Life
Balance’ CC#2 – Organise Your Speech. Katrina
was looking for a life beyond the job, but fears that it
may not exist.
44. Kern stepped up with his ‘How to Break a
Habit Forever’ CC#3 – Get to the Point. Kern broke
one habit in driving foreign cars, but struggled with
chocolate. His action cycle to identify the (1) triggers,
(2) actions, and (3) responses lay a ground work for
breaking these habits
45. Bibi presented her ‘In Your Blind Spot’
Speaking To Inform #5 – The Abstract Concept. Bibi
took on the task of exploring our conscious and
unconscious bias. We all have a blind spot and it is
shaped exactly like us.
46. Arash gave us ‘Fast and the Furious’ The
Entertaining Speaker #1 the Entertaining Speech. At
100kmh or faster, Arash told us about a jilted young
lad’s mad dash through red lights across Melbourne,
from Clayton to Carlton.
47. Andrea gave us 'Bruce and the Wombat' from
Interpretive Reading #5 The Play. This modern
(1980) Dot Freeman passage, inspired from 'Albert
and the Lion' told us the perils of firing your slingshot
at a child eating wombat.
48. Phil told us two tales from the 'Connies'. The
first tale, prompted the question, 'why did the chicken
catch the tram?'. The second tale, which Phil also
claims is true, revealed the successful use of public
transport in the training of greyhounds!
49. Michael(L) with his speech ‘Amorphous’ CC#4
How to Say It. Michael drew on the Brexit events in
Europe to show Friendships made in Prosperity are
tested in Adversity.
50. Sarah with her secret speech that will be given
at the 2016 Convention in Washington.
Good Luck Sarah
51. The Great Debate
The Space Party (Carlton) represented by Selina,
Vivian and Michael(C).
The Gardeners Party (Parkville) represented by
Andrea, Rhys and Simon.
The Fitness Party (HKU Space) represented by
Kenny, Cindy and Catherine.
A wonderful debate and an extremely close vote,
saw The Space Party win on a tie breaker vote
(though the rumour is they did a preference deal
with The Garden Party). Well done to all teams.
I recently read some great advice by public speaking champion,
Craig Valentine. He talks about a technique called Tap, Tease and
Transport. Tap into people’s prior knowledge, Tease them with a
challenging statement and Transport them to the point of your
message.
I am proud to be a member of any Toastmaster club that continues
the legacy of Patrick Shing. Carlton, Parkville and Fitzroy enable
Leaders and Communicators to practice and learn in a safe growing
environment, and to always have fun. Thanks Patrick!
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Something to Learn…
A recap on the wonderful educational speeches
delivered at Carlton Toastmasters to help
improve our toastmaster experience
1. Jo on ‘Finding new members for your club’ Jo
presented a Number of excellent ideas for retaining
and acquiring members in a fun and entertaining
manner, despite the late notice to do so.
2. Andrea With ‘Kill your darlings’. This public
transport inspired educational told us how to gather
our inspiration for our speech topics, but also to be
prepared to shelve those ideas that prevent our topics
from blossoming.
3. Bibi not only told us the benefit of ‘Goal Setting
and Planning’, she invoked a gold medal winning
understanding of how Alisa Camplin used ‘Goal
Setting and Planning’ to become an Olympic
champion.
4. While demonstrating the Dos and Don’ts of body
language, was Christine’s ‘My Body Speaks’. Using a
scarf and badge to scratch the back of your neck is a
definite skill that should only be used in humorous
speeches.
5. An impromptu Better Speaker Series #4‘Impromptu Speaking’ by the effervescent Rebecca,
we had an impromptu educational on impromptu
speaking. As nothing was planned, it went according
to the plan. Rebecca was very entertaining and gave
some wonderful impromptu tips. Congratulations on a
job well done!
Stories and Speeches
The Loss
Public Relations#5 - The Crisis Management Speech
Darrell Pitt
As you know, Carlton Toastmasters has been one of the
most successful clubs in District 73. It has been successful
in terms of club standards, involvement of members in
District 73 activities and, I think we’ve also done okay in
contests.
An important part of running a Toastmasters club is
controlling the finances. Of course, Toastmasters is a notfor-profit organisation so we don’t keep huge finances in
reserve.
Having said that, our club has been most successful in
accumulating money over time. Our bank account
recently had almost a million dollars in it. That’s good
financial management from our treasurer, Vivian Goh.
Can she play blackjack? Or can she play blackjack?
Unfortunately, there has been a disaster. A nefarious
intruder recently circumvented our security system and
was able to transfer the funds to an offshore account in
Uruguay. This master criminal was able to guess Vivian’s
password for the account – “I Love Italian Chefs” – and
Sarah’s password – “Soak me in Hot Chocolate,
Marshmallows and nuts, and call me Sundae” – and
has now skipped the country and is living in a
mansion in Uruguay.
This man has gone by many names – Ronald
Onomatopoeia, Nicholas Palindrome, Roger
Thesaurus, but his most recent names have been
Charles Pakana and Keir Wells! Yes! The artist
formally known as Keir Wells is now living in Uruguay
under the assumed name of Oscar Nicholas Wilbur
Toejam.
I know you’re shocked. I was too.
This means that we will be asking members for
donations to restock our finances. That money will
be paid back to members as soon as we complete a
number of Speechcraft courses in the near future.
I know the future will be bright for our club. I know
the future will take us places we can’t imagine. I
know the future will see our name emblazoned
across District 73 in glory.
We stand as one. We will survive. We are Carlton.
I will now take questions from the media….
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
The Connies
Buuurgaaahkk!!
Phil Harkin
The first story begins on the number 19,
to North Coburg in 1975.
A very serious man named John who took great
pride in his work was the conductor of this tram.
John refused to work
if he didn't have his conductors hat on.
John lived by the book.
The Melbourne and Metropolitan tramways board
rules and regulations book.
John would constantly refer to this book for
guidance on the appropriate way of dealing with any
given situation.
They used to call him Rules and Regs John.
One Thursday morning the number 19 rolled into the
stop out the front of the Vic markets.
A rush of people boarded the tram scurrying to find
a seat with their goods from the market.
With a very upright posture and a slight glare, John
moved throughout the tram making sure everything
was running as it should.
Halfway down the tram John came to a sudden
stop.
His glare became more prominent as his attention
focused on one woman.
The woman had killed the chicken!
Without speaking a word she went back to looking
out the window.
She was sitting with her shopping beside her and a
live chicken on her lap, doing its best to escape.
John whipped out his book and with astonishing
speed navigated to the exact page that outlined the
rules and regulations regarding live animals on
trams.
He marched over to the woman
and stood tall and strong in front of her.
Excuse me M'am, According to section 8, item 3
of The Melbourne and Metropolitan tramways board
rules and regulations book, live animals are
prohibited on any tram.’
‘As a result I must insist you vacate the tram at the
next stop. ‘
Rules and Regs John pulled the chord.
Impressed by his performance and command of
authority John stood strong awaiting a response
from the woman.
The woman, looking at the chicken in her lap gazed
up at John with a blank face.
Page |7
John didn't move for a moment, he was
completely stunned.
When he snapped back into reality he whipped
out his rules and regulations book and started
frantically flicking through the pages.
Dead chicken, dead chicken, not alive,
not breathing, dead, murder,
chicken neck Brocken,
parmigiana, cheese, cows
Gaaaarrrgh, dead chicken, dead chicken!
There was nothing!
There was no guidance on how to appropriately
handle this situation.
Deflated and feeling somewhat betrayed by his
beloved rules and regulations,
John shuffled toward the corner of the tram and
made himself very small.
……
The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
The second story is on the number 42 to
Mont Albert in 1981,
A route that no longer exists.
A well-known man at the time, named Frenchie,
was the conductor of this tram.
Frenchie was known as the performing connie,
full of tricks and tram acrobatics.
Frenchie put a smile on people's faces and
encouraged strangers to interact.
He brought life to the tram.
The number 42 tram went along Cotham and
Whitehorse Road and terminated at Union Road
in Mont Albert.
At exactly 5:34am each morning the number 42
would arrive at the corner of Cotham and
Glenferrie Road.
Every morning Bill would be
waiting on the corner.
Bill always had his chequered flat cap on,
an old worn down brown coat
and the form guide under his arm.
Sitting next to Bill full of excitement,
just barley holding it together,
madly wagging his tail, was Dash
After a long flat stretch the tram crossed over
Burke rd were a steep hill began.
The tram quickly gained momentum and
Not only caught up to Dash but flew past him.
Frenchie was leaning out of the tram
With a huge a smile on his face yelling,
"Bien bien, Go Dash!"
The tram raced into the dip at the bottom of the
hill barely losing any speed on the incline,
But it was enough for Dash to catch up.
Dash and the tram were neck and neck all
through Balwyn, racing toward Mont Albert.
As the end of the tram line approached the tram
began slowing down as good ol Dash sprinted
ahead to the finish line.
Frenchie jumped out of the tram and gave Dash
a pat as he panted heavily.
A few moments of rest and the number 42 was
racing Dash back to Glenferrie rd.
Bill was sitting on a fence reading his form guide
as Dash came sprinting back up Cotham road to
meet him.
.
Dash was a greyhound.
Frenchie would lean out of the tram to greet Bill
in his usual odd combination of French and
Australian slang.
"Bonjour Bill, how ya going?"
The tram came to a complete stop.
A moment of pure silence and stillness
filled the intersection.
Even Dash, the greyhound had stopped
wagging his tail and was completely still.
Bill gave Frenchie the nod, the trolley pole made
contact with the overhead wire
and Dash the greyhound was off!
The tram took a while to build up speed whilst
Dash was already flying down Cotham road.
A few weeks later on a Tuesday morning at
5:34am, the number 42 rolled into the corner of
Glenferrie and Cotham.
There was Bill as usual standing on the corner in
his chequered cap and old brown jacket.
Dash the greyhound wasn’t there?
Bill slowly walked up to the tram where Frenchie
was already hanging out the door to greet him.
"Gday Bill, sa va?"
Bill was a man of few words,
when he reached the tram he looked up at
Frenchie, he handed him a $20 note and said
"Dash is taking the morning off fellas,
he had a win last night."
Page |8
The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
The Bra
Humorously Speaking #4 – Keep them laughing
Cleo Pitt
Only a woman can understand the invasive feel of
the bra fitting shop assistant who man handles
your most valuable assets into a shiny new bra.
They put their hands down your front and position
each bosom in the cup then they take their index
fingers and separate things at the front. The old lift
and separate trick.
Recently I went to Target in an attempt to buy an
economical bra. All the bras there are made for
small breasted women. There were oomph bras,
the contour, convertible, demi cup, padded,
plunge and the push-up bra. I think they should be
renamed to match the bosom type – the ski slope,
the perky, long and saggy, two fried eggs, the
rock melons and the all-time favourite – the
double whopper! Otherwise known as the Dolly
Parton.
One thing you should know about women. Smaller
women always want to be bigger. Bigger women
always want to be smaller. I was looking for the
minimiser bras, these were all maximiser bras.
These bras were made for women whose chests
resembled 12 year olds who still got ID'ed at night
clubs. These women could be elected to the Itty
Bitty Titty Committee. These women wear wonder
bras and when they remove them they wonder
where their bosoms went.
Over time, I’ve developed a particular interest in
the underwire bra. Apparently millionaire and
entrepreneur, Howard Hughes was responsible
for the development of the underwire bra. He had
the bra designed especially for the actress Jane
Russell to wear in the movie The Outlaw. It seems
that Howard Hughes had an interest in women's
breasts. Who knew!!
Supposedly the wire helps to lift, separate, shape,
and support women's breasts. For me, wearing
one is like throwing up scaffolding to stop a
building from imminent collapse. The concept of
an underwire bra can be traced to an 1893 patent
that describes a breast
supporting device that uses a rigid plate under
the breasts for stability.
Supposedly the job of the underwire is to hold up
the bosoms so they do not sag. Sag - who are
they kidding? Trying to hold up big breasts is like
trying to pick up 5 kilos of baker’s dough with
your bare hands.
For well-endowed women of short stature, there
is another challenge. The average height of the
woman who has my size bosoms is 190cm. She
has a torso that is that length and mine is this
length. The underwire that fits her body length
and breast size is perfect for her. For me the wire
is so long I am continually stabbed under the
armpit by the sharp end of a piece of wire. And it
never fits properly anyway.
I hate underwire.
One time when I was doing a load of washing, I
noticed water spurting out the bottom of the
washing machine. When the repair man came to
fix the machine he pulled out a long piece of wire
from the innards of the machine. The underwire
from my bra had gone rogue, broken free from its
moorings then attacked and stabbed a hole in the
washing machine. That bra which I had paid $75
to purchase had now run up a bill of $300 to
repair the washing machine!
The underwire is notorious for setting off metal
detectors at security checkpoints, although there
have been recorded incidents when the
underwire has actually been useful. Once a bullet
was deflected when it hit the underwire and on
another occasion a knife missed it's target due to
that trusty underwire.
I shouldn't be so hard on the innocent underwire,
should I? When I looked at my underwire, later I
realised that it could be used for all manner of
things. It could be a lock pick, car radio aerial, a
circular ruler or a garrotte or a noose.
Maybe I could use it as a lock pick to break into
the bra company and then use it to stab the
designer of this terrible invention.
Page |9
The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
The Four Seasons
Story Telling #2 - Let’s Get Personal
Michael Clancy
Love is like the four seasons.
You can grow into Spring
and think of one's innocence.
You can bath in Summer
and experience one's exuberance.
You can harvest Autumn
and share one's reverence.
You can embrace Winter
and strive for one's perseverance
When you fall in love, what season do you look for?
Spring
My first love was Spring.
With Flowers in her hair,
Spring would blossom into your life.
An air of renewal sparkled form her bright green eyes.
Spring is New life, new hope, forever optimistic.
It was with Spring that lost my innocence.
It was with her that I learnt about
the birds and the bees.
She is the promise of forbidden fruit still on the tree.
But if it is picked too early it will be sour.
If you leave it too long, it spoils.
Or worse, someone else picks it before you!
Summer
With her blonde hair and perfect tanned skin,
Summer was Fit and Energetic.
She was the love that would never end.
Long hot days and clear warm nights.
Summer is full of passion and fire.
Her embrace was Hot and sweaty.
Her sense of humour; dry.
She was life in all its exuberance.
But they do warn you: “Do not to play with fire.”
Summer was brighter than I could handle
In the end, Summer burnt me.
Autumn
With her fiery red hair, and fiery red temper to match,
Autumn was vibrant, colourful.
Changeable.
We shared each other’s thoughts, dreams and hopes.
Harvesting our love before the change.
I could see the change coming and knew it was
inevitable.
I was changing too.
My hair, like the Autumn leaves was falling.
I was ageing, to her dismay.
It started with Warm passion.
As the months rolled by, a chill appeared.
The colour disappeared.
Love is about living with and accepting
change in each other.
But she was ying, and I was yang.
We had started out so alike.
In the end we were just too different.
Winter
She wore a white coat and a scarf.
We are all afraid of Winter, with the stare of her
cold blue eyes, and her freezing embrace.
I saw those blue eyes as refreshing as drinking
clear mountain water.
We would find comfort with each other as we
would cuddle under the blankets or in front of the
fire.
With Winter, love kept us warm,
on those long dark and cold nights.
Her long black hair is giving way to grey,
but her beauty will always remain.
My hair is thinning, but our passion never wavers.
As long as we are together, the warmth never
leaves.
Four Seasons
We had optimism to renew our dreams.
In the hope of Winter, I learned that within me
there was always a spring in my step.
We had an inner fire to warm our passion.
In the warmth of Winter, I learned that within me
there lay an invincible summer.
We reaped the love we had sown.
In the embrace of Winter, I learned that within
me there was an abundant harvest.
Together, We will grow and embrace each other’s
innocence.
Together, We will bathe and experience each
other's exuberance.
Together, We harvest and share each other's
reverence.
Together, We embrace and complement each
other's perseverance.
I don’t need four seasons,
Winter is enough for me.
Together, We don’t need four seasons,
We just need each other.
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Educationals
The Body:
Speech Evaluation
Michael Clancy
At toastmasters everything is evaluated. We evaluate
Speeches, we evaluate Table Topics and we evaluate
the many roles we perform in delivering a meeting. It is
by evaluating that we improve.
We use the evaluation to give immediate feedback.
Giving helpful suggestions to reinforce positive
speaking behaviours.
We use the evaluation to offer methods for
improvement. An evaluator can offer a perspective that
will assist the presenter to build their presentation.
We motivate to build and maintain self-esteem. As the
presenter’s speaking improves from speech to speech,
more self-esteem will be gained. We assist this by
good evaluations.
I am going to look at the parts of the Evaluation and
suggest a method by which we can record notes to
assist giving effective feedback. Finally I will talk about
delivering the Spoken Evaluation in the 2:00 to 3:00
minute timeframe.
Before the Meeting
Before the Meeting – As a speech evaluator we need
to take the time to know and understand the objectives
of the speech project being undertaken.
The objectives of the speech are what the speech is
being evaluated against. The evaluator is not
evaluating the content of the speech but the
organisation and presentation of it.
The Speech Evaluation
The Speech Evaluation is a 2:00 to 3:00 minute
speech and like all speeches, it should have an
opening, a body and a conclusion.
Once we have told the audience what we are going to tell
them, we enter the body of the speech, this where we tell
them.
This is achieved using the PIPS method: Praise,
Improve, Praise, and Summarise.
The way it works is this – the feedback process is broken
down into segments:
1. Start off by focusing on the strengths
Consider: What did you like this speech and why.
2. Then, provide the improvement(s) —things the
speaker could do better; the areas of improvement.
Improvements are from “our” perspective. Use the “I”
in Improve to remember I saw… I heard… I felt….
The improvement has three parts.
What – i.e. improvement
Why is the improvement important?
How could they do it? – Demonstrate.
Consider: What areas are the communication barriers
in this speech? Why should they be removed? How can
they be removed - Demonstrate!
Consider: What would you do to make this a better
speech. Why this would make a better speech? How to
make this better speech - Demonstrate!
3. Finally, give the speakers greatest strength, to
ensure that we end on a positive.
Consider: What was in this speech for the audience
and how was it achieved.
Both Praise and Improvement are important. Praise is
the bar we have cleared, Improvement is the goal we
will aim for. Both are needed to Motivate, Encourage and
to build the Skills and the Self-esteem of the speaker.
If we are trying to motivate, we need to be positive in
both the Praise and the Improvement.
Summary:
The Opening:
Starting with the Evaluation Opening, this, like all
speech introductions, is where we set the ground work
of our Evaluation.
There are various ways to open. This is our story, in
our own words. This is where we need to grab the
audience. This is where we tell the audience what we
are going to tell them.
It is good to remind people of the speech title and to
reinforcing the message of the speech. And
importantly, we can also acknowledge the speaker.
Consider reinforcing the message of the speech by:
Reusing a quote.
Reusing the opening line.
Reusing the takeaway line.
Reinforcing the objectives of the speech.
Finally we need to tell the audience what we have just
told them. “Summarise”
Remind everyone: the things did the speaker did well,
what could the speaker do to improve, and what the
speaker did best.
Thank the speaker again, encourage them for their next
speech. You may wish to repeat the best quote, or
Repeat the best part of the speech, or Repeat the call to
arms. (Reinforce the speech)
Effective Evaluation Feedback
Toastmasters are expected to put time and effort into
their speech preparation. It is fair that a certain amount of
effort is invested in delivering them an appropriate and
effective evaluation.
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Be aware of the speaker’s experience and the
speech objectives as this will influence your
evaluation.
On a sheet of paper, prepare headings to evaluate
against taking into account general aspects of
speaking such as stage presence, eye contact, body
language etc. and specific aspects relating to the
objectives of the speech.
During the Speech
It is important that we are ready to listen. Those first
few lines of the speech can set the tone of the
speech. Do not miss them.
Listen with purpose to the speech. Make precise,
concise notes.
Listen for the take away. What was the point of the
speech?
Identify those items that are worthy of Praise or need
Improvements with short concise sentences.
At the end of the speech, review your list,
highlighting two or three from each side for inclusion
in your spoken evaluation.
The Conclusion
The conclusion is 20-30 seconds. The Summary is very
important. Remind everyone: the things did the speaker
did well, what the speaker could do to improve, and what
the speaker did BEST.
You need to start delivering your Summary when the lights
turn YELLOW (2:30 Minutes!)
And if there is still time, repeat that one memorable Quote
or Call to Arms.
When the lights turn RED (3:00 Minutes!) –you have still
have 30 seconds. Don’t waste it, but don’t abuse it either.
(In competition you would be disqualified after the 30
seconds!)
Timing Break Down
Phase
Requirement
Opening
20 Sec
0 – 20
Praise 1
Congratulate the
speaker
What, Why
20 Sec
20-40
Praise 2
What, Why
20 Sec
40-60
Improvement 1
What, Why, How
(Demonstrate)
What, Why, How
(Demonstrate)
(Major Strength)
What Why
Praise 1&2,
Improvement
1&2, Praise 3
Take-Away Call
to Arms, Thank
the Speaker
30 Sec
60-90
30 Sec
90-120
30 Sec
120-150
30-Sec
150-180
10 Sec
180
Delivering the Evaluation
We deliver our evaluation as a speech from our
notes, not as answers to questions in a manual.
A good evaluation is friendly, fair and positive. The
main purpose of an evaluation is to emphasise the
strengths of the speaker and encourage
improvement. Be prepared to offer constructive
comments and demonstrate them to empower the
speaker to improve and develop.
Deliver the evaluation to the Audience, not just the
speaker.
I said earlier that Speech Evaluation is a 2:00 to 3:00
minute speech. It needs an opening, a body and a
conclusion.
The Opening
You don’t have much time in the opening, around
20-30 seconds, so be concise. Thank the speaker.
Tell the audience what you are going to tell them.
Length Elapsed
Improvement 2
Praise 3
Summary
Conclusion:
Your Written Evaluation
After the meeting transfer the most relevant and
constructive notes to the speaker’s manual, and speak to
them after the meeting so that you both understand each
other.
Summary
The Body
The body of the evaluation is 2:00 Minutes – 2:30
Minutes.
When we break it down we have 20 seconds for
each point of praise.
You can take about 30-40 seconds for each point of
improvement.
And around 20-30 seconds for the main praise at the
end.
You need to start delivering the Main Praise when
the lights turn GREEN (2:00 Minutes!)
At toastmasters we all can learn from our evaluations.
The Evaluation is in itself a speech. It should have an
opening, a body and a conclusion. And the body should
contain one or two items of praise, one or two items of
improvement that have been demonstrated, and conclude
with the best item of praise.
Don’t forget to summarise!
Go forth and evaluate
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Photo Album
Celebrating Carlton
We welcome any submissions for Patrick’s Corner, but we challenge you
to provide your submission in paragraphs of 42 words. You may find this
difficult but as a Toastmaster, I know there is nearly always one or two
lines of wasted words.
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
2016/17 Club Officers
President
Vice President of Education
Vice President Membership
Vice President of Public Relations
Secretary
Treasurer
Sergeant at Arms
Immediate Past President
Phil Harkin
Rebecca Arnold
Kern Kapoor
Darrell Pitt
Katrina Murphy
Paul Filippone
Jez Collier
Sarah Hanieh
When I give school presentations about writing, I say a
good story needs three things—a character, a setting
and a problem. In writing, it’s often called the ‘inciting
incident’, and the story comes to an end when that
problem is resolved.
Darrell Pitt
Carlton’s achievements and involvement within the
district over the past year, has provided the club with
significant momentum to climb even higher in the year
ahead. The 2017 Convention, the International finals in
Washington and the always whimsical and supportive
club meetings will be highlights to celebrate.
Phil Harkin
I feel both excited and honoured to be embarking on my
role as "Sergeant of Arms" at Carlton Toastmasters. Our
lives are a "sum of its parts" and this feels so much like a
key component to a new unfolding chapter in mine. The
best part of "stepping up" to this role knowing I can rely
on my fellow toasties to reinforce my strengths, correct
me where there is room for improvement, and inspire
me to greater heights.
Jez Collier
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The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Member Achievements
District Contest Winners 2015-16
Winner District 73 International Speech contest
Sarah Hanieh
Winner District 73 Humorous contest
Ha Du
District Award Winners 2015-16
Anthony Browne – DTM -Triple Crown
Cleo Pitt – DTM - Triple Crown
Darrell Pitt – DTM - Triple Crown
Bibi Cassar - Triple Crown
Michael Clancy - Triple Crown
Carlton Awards 2015-16
Competent Communicator
Anthony Browne
Christine Dimitros
Paul Filippone
Leigh Hawkswood
Darrell Pitt x 3 awards
Rebecca Arnold
Bibi Cassar
Michael Clancy
Cleo Pitt x 2 awards
Darrell Pitt x 2 awards
Bibi Cassar
Michael Clancy
Bibi Cassar
Michael Clancy
Darrell Pitt x 2 awards
Robert Hughes
Anthony Browne
Cleo Pitt
Darrell Pitt
Cleo Pitt
Darrell Pitt
Anthony Browne
Cleo Pitt
Darrell Pitt
Competent Leader
Advanced Communicator Bronze
Advanced Leader Bronze
Advanced Communicator Silver
Advanced Leader Silver
Advanced Communicator Gold
Educational Leadership (HPL)
Distinguished ToastMaster
District Roles
held by Carlton Toastmasters Club Members 2015-16
Christine Dimitros - Club Growth Director
Darrell Pitt - Area Director
Anthony Browne -Area Director
Natalie Hart - Area Director
Cleo Pitt - Area Director
P a g e | 15
The Carlton Argonaut – Winter 2016 Edition
Club Performance
Club Status
2015-2016
02 991848
Carlton Toastmasters Club
Club Alignment
Region
12
Month of June
As of June 2016
Membership
Base
30
District
73
Division
M
Goals
Goals Met
10
To Date
28
Required
20
Distinguished
5
20 members or
a net growth of 5 new members
Area
22
Select Distinguished
7
Chartered
19 Jun 2013
Goals to Achieve
President's Distinguished
9
Goal
To Date
1
Competent Communicator (CC) awards
2
2
2
More Competent Communicator (CC) awards
2
3
3
Advanced Communicator (ACB, ACS, ACG) awards
1
1
4
More Advanced Communicator (ACB, ACS, ACG) awards
1
4
5
1
1
6
Leadership Awards (CL, ALB, ALS) or
Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) awards
More CL, ALB, ALS, or DTM awards
1
8
7
New members
4
4
8
More new members
4
9
Club officers trained June-August
4
7
Club officers trained December-February
4
7
Membership-renewal dues on time
Y
2
Club officer list on time
Y
1
9
10
Status
Thanks to all the contributors to this the second Argonaut. Contributions to the Third edition, due early in
2017, can be passed to either Darrell Pitt [email protected] or Michael Clancy [email protected]
P a g e | 16