MICHAEL O’MARA BOOKS
The
Northern Monkey
Survival Guide
Tim Collins
PB • £4.99
Publication date: Oct 2010
Tim Collins is a fully-paid-up
professional northerner, hailing
from Manchester originally,
though he has been suffering
stoically in London for several
years. He is the author of The
Little Book of Twitter among
other titles.
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“We get called ‘Northern Monkeys’, even though only a tiny
minority of us walk like primates, and most of those are in
Manchester bands. Southerners mock us with greetings of ‘Ee
by gum’ and joke about outdoor toilets, even though the only
time you’ll see anyone relieving themselves outdoors is in
London on Saturday night, because all the toilets have been
converted into trendy bijou flats.
Well the time has come to fight back! The North has the best
food, drink, music, football, prices, nights out and, more
importantly, the best people in the country. So this guide
celebrates everything that makes the North so great, and the
South so shite. It’s time to grab a pint with a proper head on it,
stick a ferret down your trousers and celebrate the half of
England that’s cooler in more ways than one.”
Includes:
• The Northern Monkey survival guide to London and the
South (including the smuggest places to avoid)
• The Southern Jessie survival guide to the North
• Ten differences between northerners and southerners
• Guide to northern accents
• Northern Monkey and Southern Jessie Halls of Fame
• Northern culture and music guide
• The football / religion guide
• Ten jokes that are always made about northerners
• I predict a diet: northern cuisine
• Turned out shite again: the northern weather guide
• Currency conversion guide
• Northern Monkey style guide
Media Opportunities
• Extract rights are available
• Tim is an experienced television and radio
broadcaster and available for interview
• Author article: confessions of a northern monkey
down south / North/South divide
• Poll your readers/listeners/viewers
• Competition prize copies and reader discounts
• The perfect Christmas gift for northerners
PRESS RELEASE
How to hang on to your
northern cred in a world filled
with southern jessies