“13 Reasons Why”.

Dear Parents / Guardians,
We want to make you aware of a recent series trending on Netflix , entitled “13 Reasons Why”.
Concern has been expressed by suicide prevention experts, educators and others about the
potential risks posed by these episodes due to the sensationalized portrayal of suicide. Based
on a young adult novel, the fictional series depicts events leading to death by suicide of a 17
year old young woman. It has graphic content related to suicide, glamorization of suicidal
behaviour and other difficult topics such as bullying, rape, and drunk driving. Negative
portrayals of helping professionals in the series may prevent youth from seeking help.
While those with expertise in mental health do not recommend that students view the series,
their exposure to the series will happen. While many youth are resilient and capable of
differentiating between a TV drama and real life, viewing with adult support is highly
recommended. Thoughtful conversation with your child(ren) will provide the opportunity to
help them process the issues addressed, consider the consequences of certain choices, and
reinforce the message that suicide is not a solution to problems and that help is available. This
is particularly important for adolescents who are isolated, struggling, or vulnerable to
suggestive images and storylines. Research shows that exposure to another person’s suicide, or
to graphic or sensationalized accounts of death, can be one of the many risk factors that youth
struggling with mental health conditions cite as a reason they contemplate or attempt suicide.
The series does not emphasize that common among most suicide deaths is the presence of
treatable mental illnesses. Suicide is not the simple consequence of stressors or coping
challenges, but rather, it is most typically a combined result of treatable mental illnesses and
overwhelming or intolerable stressors.
Some Common Warning Signs related to suicidal thoughts:
Always take warning signs seriously, and never promise to keep them secret. Common signs
include:
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Suicide threats, both direct (“I am going to kill myself.” “I need life to stop.”) and indirect
(“I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up.”). Threats can be verbal or written, and
they are often found in online postings.
Giving away prized possessions.
Preoccupation with death in conversation, writing, drawing, and social media.
Changes in behavior, appearance/hygiene, thoughts, and/or feelings. This can include
someone who is typically sad who suddenly becomes extremely happy.
Emotional distress.
If you have concerns about your child, please speak with your school principal or contact
www.kidshelpphone.ca or 1-800-668-6868.
Suggestions for Families
1. Ask your child if they have heard or seen the series 13 Reasons Why. While we don’t
recommend that they be encouraged to view the series, do tell them you want to watch it
with them, or to catch up, and discuss their thoughts.
2. If they exhibit any of the warning signs above, don’t be afraid to ask if they have thought
about suicide or if someone is hurting them. Raising the issue of suicide does not increase
the risk or plant the idea. On the contrary, it creates the opportunity to offer help.
3. Ask your child if they think any of their friends or classmates exhibit warning signs. Talk
with them about how to seek help for their friend or classmate. Guide them on how to
respond when they see or hear any of the warning signs.
4. Listen to your children’s comments without judgment. Doing so requires that you fully
concentrate, understand, and respond with empathy. Your interest in their perspective and
feelings will help your child open up to you. Open lines of communication are the
foundation for creating safety, reaching out for help when needed, and ongoing dialogue
about challenging topics.
5. Explain that this series is a fictional drama with many unrealistic elements. Youth commonly
identify with TV or movie characters and may share similar experiences and thoughts. There
are healthier ways to cope with these feelings than the ways depicted for dramatic effect.
6. Clarify misinformation in the series:
 Suicide and the reasons for it are complex. Most people who die by suicide live with
a mental illness, but not all people with these struggles have suicidal thoughts or
behavior. Effective treatments do help people struggling with a mental illness.
 Suicide is not a common response to life’s challenges. Most people who face
bullying, the death of a friend or other adversities depicted in the series do not die
by suicide. Most reach out, talk to others, seek help and find productive ways to
cope. They go on to lead healthy lives.
 Suicide is never heroic or romantic. The fictional death by suicide in the series is a
cautionary tale not meant to be viewed as heroic.
 The death of a person by suicide is never the fault of survivors of a suicide loss.
There are resources and support groups for suicide loss survivors.
7. Encourage Healthy Coping:
 Be sure your child knows that periods of stress or mental distress are normal.
Encourage healthy ways to cope with stress such as exercise, reading a book,
listening to music, talking with friends, enjoying nature and more. Demonstrate
healthy coping and care for yourself.
8. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help:
 Get help from your family doctor or community-based mental health professional
 Speak to your school administrative team about finding help.
 Find mental health resources for you and your family on the LDCSB website which
includes further information on healthy coping tips at:
http://www.ldcsb.ca/Programs/mentalhealth/MHResources/Pages/default.aspx