Get your ielts writing corrected
See other ielts writing samples
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local
customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country
should welcome cultural differences.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, people travel a lot more frequently than in the past. As a result of this,
some people are calling into question how the guests should behave when they visit
a new country. While some argue visitors should follow local customs and etiquette,
others believe the host country should welcome other cultures with open arms. This
essay will discuss both views before an opinion is stated, and then I will give my own
perspective on the matter.
On the one hand, there are people who claim that following the host country’s
customs shows respect and promotes understanding between people. Every country
has a different and unique way of living, which reflects its culture. If a visitor remains
retains their country’s behaviour and does not acclimate themselves into the new
environment, then the locals might think they are inconsiderate, discourteous or odd
and not want to associate with them.
On the other hand, there are those who believe that embracing other cultures
promotes multiculturalism. They argue that no culture is better than another, and the
host country has no rights to oblige their visitors to behave like their own citizens. By
accepting the fact that their visitors may have different cultures and behave in a
manner, which may depart majorly from their own, they will be more tolerant towards
differences and able to see the fascinating things about other countries. Therefore,
by welcoming other customs and behaviour, culture diversity will be protected and
preserved.
In my opinion, both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I tend to
believe that the host country should give their visitors a heartwarmingheart-warming
welcome as it is at times difficult to change and adapt to new lifestyles when they
someone has only arrivejust arrived at the new country, whereas accepting
differences is a lot easier for the hosts who are in the comfort of their own country.
Grade
Criteria
Estimated
Grade
Comments
Comment [z1]: This should be written in the first
person (it is YOUR opinion)
Comment [z2]: MS Word shows that there may
be a grammatical error here, but there isn’t!
Comment [z3]: There is no comma before
“that”, but there is usually one before “which”,
unless it is being used to express a result “which is
why I went there” [no comma]
Comment [z4]: I think you could have something
better here. Perhaps “It is vital to follow local
customs when you are abroad.”
Comment [z5]: A visitor…does not (visitors…do
not)
Comment [z6]: It should be in uncountable from
here.
Comment [z7]: You could leave this out to make
the essay shorter.
Comment [z8]: Two groups of people have been
mentioned, so “they” is not 100% clear.
Comment [z9]: It’s better to use present perfect
tense here (for something that happened at a n
unspecified time in the past that still has a current
influence)
Comment [z10]: It only really makes complete
sense with this part added on.
Task response
8
The task is well covered and you have mostly relevant points.
Paragraph 2 develops “respect”, but “understanding” wasn’t
really developed (it appears in the topic sentence). Note that I am
being picky!
Cohesion and
coherence
8
Very well structured. My comment above about the topic
sentence of paragraph two applies here also.
Note how to write the last sentence. You can just copy my words!
Note also the comment in the last sentence of the essay.
Vocabulary
8
Note: remains/retains
Only other minor errors
Grammar
8
Note the comment about the present perfect tense. This
wouldn’t prevent an 8. It is complex grammar even for a
native speaker.
overall
8
A very solid 8. The weakest category is probably the
Cohesion and coherence, but I think it is still strong enough
and the strength of the other categories would also lend
weight to it being an 8.
Get your ielts writing corrected
See other ielts writing samples