100%
Amsterdam
Approximate translation. A lot of texts are
improvised!
#1)
-Good evening, my name is Esther Jakobs – I was born
and bred in xxx.
As teenagers my peers and I regularly invaded
Amsterdam to party at the pop temple.
Some years later I moved to Amsterdam to study
psychology and finally found a job in the research and
statistic office of the city. I am very curious person and
I enjoy researching trends and developments –
therefore people and lifestories get converted into pies,
grids, curves and lists and I like to use numbers to tell a
story and here are a few to describe our city:
4.923 people on one square-km,
3.600.000 Bezoekers per jaar aan de
Amsterdamse Wallen
and 10000 bikes that get pulled out of the cannals each
year
I guess I wont be the only one to state that Amsterdam
gets too crowed! Nowadays I try to prevent going into
the citycenter, at the weekends.
This development wasn’t predictable because it is the
addition of a couple of developments:
I mentioned the first two: people from the rural areas
come to the capital and stay because of job options – So,
in fact I am part of a problem!
This process got stronger with the financial crisis when
young families – that get more kids that they used to – did
not move out anymore because it got too expensive and:
people grow older.
Finally „I Amsterdam“ was just a promotion of the city fa
too successful for students and tourists! This is why we
have reached a breaking point – I guess we can see how
dramatic it is when we follow the new campaign of the
city that tries to stimulate events outside the center – for
example - by promoting the „Beach of Amsterdam“ in
Sandelford.
While numbers are fun, they don't always connect to
people: I wanted to meet 100 people that represent the city
and see the faces behind the numbers.
Some time ago I reviewed recent Census numbers and
more up-to-date population estimates.
We broke it all down into 5 categories: age, gender,
neighbourhoods, family composition and ethnical
background.
You can find them in your program booklet: on pages x –
x
For example, I am female, age group 35 – 49, I live in
West, like 17% of the population, I am married to a man
from Gambia, …
- Now: 2-100 are
presenting themselves
during 15 minutes. This
text is improvised. No
translation, sorry.
#100
… With me 100%
Amsterdam is
complete.
All 100 come onto the round carpet.
We are
Amsterdam.
We represent
Amsterdam.
We are a statistical
cross-section of the
population.
We are 100 of the
811.185 people who
make Amsterdam
what it is.
We can perform
Amsterdam, because
51% of us are registered
as female and 49% of us
are registered male.
Hands up who feels
restricted by this binary!
(hands up)
Since childhood I
felt more atracted by
female than by male
clothes.
But only when I was
30 years old, I dared
to do it.
And my girlfriend likes it, too.
When I met her, I was also
wearing female cloths. She likes
it, but she mostly sees the man
behind. Women are anyway
cross-dressing
Hands up who thinks
women and men are
treated equally in the
Netherlands! (hands up)
# 100: My favourite word
in Dutch is not “Gelijkheid”
but “Eindelijk”! I can’t wait
to say it! I would like to
use it to describe the end
of my journey that started
in Somalia – in 1991: ...
# 100: I was 7 when my
parents got killed in the
civil war. I was raised by
my grandmother until she
also got killed. ...
# 100: Than the rebels
took hold of me and other
orphans and made us
work for them until some
of us could escape. ...
# 100: Luckily I made it to
Turkey, but when we tried
to cross the Greek border
the border-control
arrested and imprisoned
us. ...
# 100: After that I again
just was lucky to find
people that helped me to
the Netherlands. I arrived
here 10 years ago. Since
then I am trying to get
into the system - ...
# 100: - to get the
opportunity to work here
and start living and not
just to continue waiting!
Right now I am in the
race again for a
verblijfsvergunning. ...
# 100: The judge decided
to send my case back to
de immigration-office and
than hopefully I can shout
out -“EINDELIJK”- ! ...
>>>>> #100
# 100:
… I think that life pretty
much feels like a game
of roulette.
We are Amsterdam,
because we can create
the age chart.
I come from a family of
musicians. My wish was
to become an opera
singer, but my mother
said: Don’t do it, there is
too much competition”.
So now I only sing for
my own pleasure.
SINGS from ‘my fair
lady’.
Both of us - Wil over
there and I are 83 years
of age - we are the
oldest members of the
cast
I belong to the group of
people that have the
talent to transform
cruelty into humor. My
stepfather hanged
himself, my mother
openend the gas...
I raised the son of my
wife, but he ignores me.
My wife died from a
deadly disease. And still
my life is filled with
humor.
We will make one
step for each decade
we have lived. (do it)
Okay let’s make 8
steps and meet in the
center for a hug!
1-2-3 GO!
Now everybody.
Ready (everybody: turn),
set GO
We can perform
Amsterdam because we
live in 7 different areas.
Find your area on the
stage.
Here on this stage we
are: 19 from New West
we are 17 from
West (shout and wave)
we are 17 from
Zuid (shout and
wave)
15 from East
(shout and wave)
11 from Noord
(shout and wave)
11 from Centrum.
(shout and wave)
10 from South east
(shout and wave)
I belong to hang-youth. I
live in Gein.
I am not allowed to hang
out with more than 2
friends at certain spots.
Otherwise i get a fine of
80 euros.
Hands up who is
afraid to go to
certain
neighborhoods in
Amsterdam?
(hands up)
I work for the police force
that investigates
murders. Most of them
between mafia gangs,
but eventually we get
political murders to
solve...
Who thinks the secret
service should get more
money to keep jihadists
from shooting
politicians?(hands up)
We stand for Amsterdam
because we have
different ethnical
backgrounds
My parents came from
Turkey, I was born here.
but for statistics they put
me in the box of turkish
decent
5% of us are Turks.
(stand up + dance)
we have 9%
Marokkaans (stand up +
dance)
6 of us come from other
countries in Africa
(stand up + dance)
3 % from the Antillen
(stand up + dance)
9 have roots from
Suriname and Guyana
(stand up + dance)
16 % Western Foreigners:
Here represented by
Americans, Western
Europeans and
Indonesians (stand up +
dance)
5% from Asia
48% is original from The
Netherlands, since more
than 3 generations
(stand up + dance)
...but wherever we came
from, now actually all of
us are from Amsterdam!
(stand up + dance)
HANDS UP Who
speaks more than 2
languages?
HANDS UP Who
speaks more than 3
languages?
HANDS UP Who
speaks more than 4
languages?
HANDS UP Who
speaks more than 5
languages?
HANDS UP Who
speaks more than 6
languages?
We are no actors
(Everybody turn around)
We are a body with 100
heads. Turn around 1
1/2 times
We are a group that
cannot speak in sync.
(All say something)
We are a choir who
cannot sing as one. (All
sing favorite song)
I live on the minute. My
alarm clock goes at 6:30,
I stand up at 7, have a
yoghurt and my pills at 7:
07.
At 7:13 I brush my teeth.
At 7:17 I dress, at 7:24 I
am ready. I have 3
minutes left before I go to
school.
At 7:27 I leave the
house. When I do
things one minute
earlier or later it
doesnt make sense
anymore.
What are you doing at 2
pm? all: shout it!
3 Minutes long scene
with them moving:
Amsterdam at 2 pm till
midnight and till 1pm
again
I lost 25 kilos since a
year. The average
Amsterdam man weighs
84 kilos and the average
woman weighs 70 kilos.
That means: on stage
right now there are 7.686
kilos. That’s about the
same as 30.744.00 tullips
But if we jump, when we
come back down we will
be about as heavy as the
IJ-FERRY-BOAT or 1%
of the yearly opiumproduction in
Afghanistan.
How loud can you
scream? Ready! Set!
Scream! (All: scream as
loud as you can)
Who of you was born in
Amsterdam?
I was - that’s why I will
go over here!
Me / Not Me
Who has been
homeless?
When I was 5 years old,
our house in Amsterdam
burnt down. I got lost
and my parents left to
Morroco, while I was
raised in a gypsy-family.
After all I lived on
the street for one
year.
Who gives money to
beggars?
Who lost a friend last month?
I lost my 2 best friends 3
years ago. The shops
were open in the
evening and we wanted
to go shopping
I could not come along,
because I needed to
prepare the wedding of
my cousin.
When they didn’t came
home, we went looking
for them.
At 01.00 in the night my
father found the car in
the water near
Zaandam.
Later we found out that
my friend drove forward
into the water instead of
parking out backwards.
Who has cried this
week?
Who believes in life
after death?
Who of you believes
there is a God?
I was raised in a big
reformed family. I had the
feeling that my live was
directed and fixed by
religion.
There was not much
choice. Now I make my
own decisions.
Who regularly attends a
place of worship?
Who feels personally
threatened by religions?
I started wearing the veil
after 9.11. to show that I’
m a muslim and not a
terrorist.
Who thinks that the
Zwarte Piet should stay
black?
Who thinks only straight
people should be
allowed to adopt
children?
I used to be proud of my city.
When I see homo-couples I get
an great warm feeling. But now I
see them less and less and that
makes me intencely, intencely
sad.
Who thinks the homohate
grew in Amsterdam?
WHO THINKS WE
SHOULD SHUT DOWN
THE RED LIGHT
DISTRICT?
A city without Red Light
District is a city without
balls.
I started working in a
window in 1970.
The neighbourhood looked very
different back then. It was cosy
and the man were polite. Now
they are rude and influenced by
the internet. They want the
things they see online.
But the red light district has
always protected the women
working there. The politicians
that wanted to close the
District were regular clients
themselves.
Most prostitutes see their job
as a real profession.
Who is doing the job they
dreamt of as a child?
My colleagues and me move
about 50.000 bikes away from
the inner city each year.
Bikes that either haven’t
been used for months or
are parked at a wrong
spot.
Often people are
shouting at us, others try
to jump on the car and
take the bike down again
– or they cry and beg that
we bring it back down.
I am not enjoying doing this but I
think it’s important – people own
3-4 bikes here,
one for transportation, one for
weekend activities, one if the
other gets stolen and one if the
other one has a flat tire...and
they just keep them standing on
the streets
Who of you think bike-owners
should pay tax for their bikes?
Who thinks capitalism
works for them?
(everybody make: money
gesture) >>#
Who could imagine being the Mayor of
Amsterdam? (ME: demonstrate it)
# : Wie van jullie vindt zichzelf geschikt
voor de functie van
burgemeester van Amsterdam? (IK: laat
zien) >>>>#:
Which of you has the
right to vote on national
elections ?
For those of you who
have the right to vote,
who actually votes?
Non-voters, get off the stage
and see what voters will do with
your future!
Who wants Turkey to
be a member of the
European Union?
Who thinks that the
Antillen should be
independent?
Who wants to legalize
the production of
softdrugs?
Who has a firearm at
home?
Who had the experience
of a gun being pointed at
him or her?
Who had to serve in the
military or plans to enlist?
Yes -
I am a war child. My
father worked on a ship
and was missing for 4
years during the war.
I remember: one day he
just came back again. I
was not allowed to ask
anything.
and he never talked about it. I
just remember that he always
had to keep the door of the toilet
open and was afraid in small
spaces.
Who thinks the NATO
should attack Russia to
make it withdraw out of
Ukraine?
Who thinks we should
send drones instead of
troops?
Who of you is planning
to leave the city?
It is my job at the statistics and
research office to predict the
development of the population.
The city grows with 10.000
persons each year.
The biggest group comes from
The Netherlands. After that
comes immigrants from other
EU countries and VS. There are
almost no immigrants from
Morocco and Turkey.
The last 150 years life
exspectation grew each year
with 3 months.
Who wants everybody have
the right to decide when and
how to die?
Who came to
Amsterdam to escape
violence somewhere
else?
I lived always in safe
countries. And I had a safe
job. I worked for a Bank.
The Bank used to focus
mainly on private banking. I
used to be proud of this.
Then a new generation
of investment bankers
came and invested in
more and more risky
papers.
Since the financial crisis,
I dont dare to say that I
was banker anymore, but
I say that I worked for a
big company.
Who trusts their bank?
Who has lied with their
taxes?
I don’t believe this
result...So far we have
been voting in full sight
of the audience…
But I think we should try
the benefits of a dark
ballot now. Please,
switch off the lights
Everybody please go to
your position.
okay, please switch off
your flashlights and I’ll
ask again:
Who has lied with their
taxes?
Who has bullied
somebody in the
workplace?
Who has benefited
from illegal labor?
Who has been a victim
of domestic violence?
Who thinks that it’s okay
to beat up pedophiles,
when they come out of
prison?
Who has cheated on a
partner?
Who has not had any
sex this year?
Who would pay for
sex?
Who is against
abortion?
Who has had an
abortion?
Who has a crush on
one of the other 99
here?
Who dislikes one of the
other 99?
And who is fed up with
all these questions and
just wants to have
some fun?
In Amsterdam you can
still run around naked
and nobody cares.
And you can still stand
on an orange cascette
and say what you want.
Freedom of speech
means alot to me. That’s
why we have an open mic
now!
So far all the questions
have been part of a
script. Now we make
the statements we want.
The only rule is: no
repetition. So I’m going
to do the first one:
…..
OPEN MIC!
…..
I am younger than 18!!
And I would like all the
old people leave the
stage now!
KIDS: I feel
overprotected.
I don’t feel connected
with the other kids and I
have been bullied.
I play more than 2
hours of video games,
daily.
I am afraid to stay at
home alone!
I have a secret!
I have a mobile phone
of my own!
I think I will experience
war one day.
I dont want to live like
my parents.
Old people die later and
later and so there are
more and more old
people . I think it is unjust
that we few youngsters
have to pay for all those
oldies.
I am a competitive person
- who else?
Competitions:
I want to see which one
of you is the fastest?
Ready! Set? Go!
Who can do the most
push-ups?
Who dances on Foxie
Foxtrot?
Who dances the Trap
music?
Who dances to Doe
Maar?
Who wants to flip the
bird to the audience?
Who can show how
he/she gets shot?
Who could endure a
minute of doing nothing
on stage?
Who is always in the
front row in family
portraits?
Who is always sitting?
Who is always
standing?
Who is always at the
back?
Who likes to complain?
Who believes the
Noord/Zuid-line will be
finalised by 2017?
Who hates it when
cleaners go on strike?
Who is sick of the
question: Excuse me
where is the best
coffeeshop?
Who believes there are
racists among the 100
people on stage?
Who thinks it doesn’t
make you a racist to
criticize immigration?
Who thinks the police
are guilty of racial
profiling?
Who of you speaks more
about what is on Geert
Wilder head than what is
in his head?
Who wants to be
politically correct?
Who has lied on stage,
tonight?
Who is afraid of the
audience?
Who knows somebody
in the audience?
Who wants the lights
up on the audience?
Now it's up to you, the
audience.Who feels
represented by us?
Raise your hands,
please!
Who reads statistics?
Who falsifies statistics?
Who thinks we are
afraid to say what we
really think on stage?
Who thinks it is boring
to be politically correct
on stage?
Who earns more than
75,000 € per year?
Who lies frequently?
Who knows somebody
on stage?
Who wants to take a
picture of us? So do it
now please!
Who of you has a
question for us?
We are 100 people with
100 opinions. We also
have 100 views onto the
city.
There are hardly any
demonstrations in
Amsterdam anymore what would make you go
on the barricades?
Where do you express
political outrage? online
in the ballot box in
demonstrations
shouting at the TV
I am never angry
Which subject do you
think the media is most
biased about? asylum
seekers IS
EU economy russia
media is objective
How do you achieve an
altered state of mind?
alcohol marijuana harder
stuff surfing the net
shopping
How much did the
financial crisis change
your life? prices rising
cancelled vacation lost
my job spent savings
Which one?
How to create more
apartments? build Iburg2
turn offices into flats build
higher more containers
squatting
What should we do to
stop the global
warming? put up gas
prices ask more taxes
from Shell stop farming
cows make technicians
solve it it will solve itself
What do you think of the
number of immigrants
coming into the NL?
should remain the same
...Increase ...decrease
should all leave I don't
care
Whats the most annoying
on the bike lanes?
Bakfietse ...scooters ...
canta’s.. tourists doves
Where should the city
invest more? ...education
...clean the city ...security
arts me
What do you want to read
at the new city screens?
Drugwarnings depth of
the city joke international
news love messages
What should the royal
family do? resign pay for
themselves step out of
politics replace the
government shine on!
Who is working for a
living?
We are in debt - more
than a little bit.
We are afraid of the
future.
We know somebody
who lost someone in
the MH 17 accident.
We have always done
the right thing.
We never close our
curtains
We have broken the
law.
We have been in jail.
We are in favor of the
death penalty.
We would kill to defend
our family.
We would kill to defend
our city.
We were raised
without a father.
We were raised
without a mother.
We have children.
We would like to have
(more) children.
We would like to prohibit
human gen manipulation.
We are looking for a
partner.
We have saved a life.
We have had cancer.
We are HIV positive.
We have thought about
taking our own life.
We have seen ghosts.
We want everything to
stay the way it is.
We believe that we
won’t be alive in 10
years.
We believe that we
won’t be alive in 20
years.
We believe that we
won’t be alive in 30
years.
We believe that we
won’t be alive in 40
years.
We believe that we
won’t be alive in 50
years.
We believe that we
won’t be alive in 60
years.
We believe that we
won't be alive in 70
years.
We believe that we
won't be alive in 80
years.
We believe that we
won't be alive in 90
years.
We believe that we
won't be alive in 100
years.
We believe that we
won't be alive in 110
years.
We believe that we
won't be alive in 120
years from now.