Executive Presence: How to
Achieve Greater Influence in Your
Firm
Presented by
Elizabeth Fried, Ph.D.
HR31
4/5/2017
1:15 PM - 2:30 PM
The handouts and presentations attached are copyright and trademark
protected and provided for individual use only.
Earning Your Seat at the Table
Guidelines for Executive Presence
N. Elizabeth Fried, Ph.D, BCC
Executive Coach
Earning Your Seat at the Table
Guidelines for Executive Presence
N. Elizabeth Fried, Ph.D., BCC
Executive Coach and President
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
dba: The Learning Engine and My Executive Coach
760.598.8888
[email protected]
Introduction
For the past 20 years, I’ve worked as an executive coach, helping clients with their leadership
skills. To stay on top of my game, I’ve read stacks of books and numerous articles on executive
presence, communication, neuroscience, trust, and leadership. So, when I was invited to develop
a presentation on executive presence, I asked myself, “How do I get my arms around all this
information and distill it into a one-hour talk that’s meaningful to the audience?”
I’m known for offering practical tips that can be used immediately. After some pondering, I
decided to do what I tell my clients: Start with the bottom line. Additionally, I opted to develop
this Cliff’s Notes version of my presentation as a companion piece. My hope is that my talk will
serve as a launching point to inspire current and aspiring leaders to dig deeper and learn more so
they, too, can earn a place at the table. This e-book captures the essence of the presentation and
can be used as reinforcement. It also contains my favorite resources to broaden your horizons.
The Bottom Line
Whether you’re a frontline supervisor, middle manager, senior leader, or company president,
you’re always in the spotlight. All eyes are on you. People are constantly observing you for
consistent behavior patterns. They’re continually looking for clues to assess whether they can
trust and respect you. If you’re consistent in appropriate leadership behaviors, people will
forgive an occasional poor decision or mistake. However, if you frequently go into melt down
when things get tense, you create uncertainty. Uncertainly causes people to raise their guard,
which eventually erodes trust.
To demonstrate this point, in the animal kingdom research has shown that in a troop of baboons,
the lesser males check out the alpha male every 20 to 30 seconds to see what he’s doing (Sutton,
2010). The people in your organization are no different. They may not be checking you out every
20 to 30 seconds, but they’re watching you carefully. If you think you’re operating under the
radar, you’re kidding yourself. Humans are wired to pick up on slight subtleties that give you
away, such as telegraphing a mixed message, which occurs when your body language is
inconsistent with your words. The consequence of these actions is that employees will lose faith
in you and ultimately their trust.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Defining Executive Presence
Let’s begin with the definition of executive presence. It’s a somewhat fuzzy concept and difficult
to define, similar to when Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart (Jacobellis v. Ohio, 1964) was
asked to describe the threshold test for obscenity. In drafting his opinion, he stated, “I know it
when I see it.”
So the question is: “What do you see when you think about executive presence?”
To answer this question, I’d like to introduce you to a brief exercise created by Lisa Parker from
her book, Managing the Moment (2013). Think about a person you know who has great
presence. This could be someone you know personally, professionally, or who you’ve observed
in the media. Usually, someone comes to mind pretty quickly. Once you’ve identified that
person, write down his or her name, and list as many characteristics as you can recall about them
that qualify as great presence. Leave extra space between items, because we’ll be coming back to
this list.
Now, take a look at your list. You may have written some words like confident, competent, and
trustworthy. Next, imagine you’re writing a screenplay for a movie and you have to direct an
actor to behave in the ways you’ve just listed. As you think about the qualities you’ve noted,
think about the specific actions and behaviors this person displays. Here are some questions to
ask yourself as you try to identify behaviors:
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Confidence: How did they stand? Were they standing erect, shoulders back? How did
they walk into the room? Did they move quickly or tentatively as they entered?
Competent: Did they answer questions in a direct, logical, understandable manner?
Good Listener: Did they acknowledge you by nodding their head? Did they let you talk
without interruption?
Great Presenter: What was their tone of voice? High? Low? Did they vary their pitch
and their pace?
Trustworthy: Did they maintain eye contact with you? Did they have a firm handshake?
Was their language definitive, such as, “We will, not we might?”
Authentic: Did they smile? Not just with their mouth, but with their eyes as well?
Now that you’ve labeled the behaviors, you’re ready to answer the next question, which gets at
the heart of executive presence. Ask yourself how these behaviors made you feel as you
connected with and listened to the person you identified. For example, did the emotions you
experienced make you feel inspired, valued, happy, or secure? Sit with that a moment and reflect
on this question. Then, jot down your emotional reactions.
Why are feelings important? Because the real strength of feelings has probably been best
described in an oft quoted poem by Maya Angelou who wrote, “I've learned that people will
forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you
made them feel.” An entrenched memory of an event is always connected with some type of
emotion.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Let’s examine this concept of emotions a little further. If the primary purpose of executive
presence is to enable leaders to positively influence others to take a desired action, what are the
drivers that make that happen? Current research shows us that the most effective way to
influence action is to first establish trust, and then touch others emotionally.
Why? Our brain immediately—on an instinctive, subconscious level—determines whether a
person is a friend or foe, whether he or she is safe or not. Thus, that instinct becomes the
threshold from which people will consider accepting you and your message.
Secondly, in Your Brain and Business (2011), Dr. Srinivasan S. Pillay a clinical professor of
psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, points out that neuroscience research shows us that in
order to act on anything, there has to be motivation behind it. And the juice for that motivation
comes in the form of emotions. Thus, leaders need to know first how to create a trusting
environment so that people feel safe, and then they need to know how to reach people
emotionally to influence them to act.
Initially, I asked you to come up with your own descriptors of executive presence, which is part
of the equation. Next, let’s examine some hard data from recent research (Hewlett, 2014)
conducted by the Center for Talent Innovation (CTI). This organization wanted to crack the code
of executive presence and conducted a study in 2012 of 4,000 college-educated professionals, of
which 268 were senior executives. The researchers determined there were three universal
components of executive presence:
How you act (gravitas)
How you speak (communication)
How you look (appearance)
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How you act–Gravitas was identified by 67 percent of the participants as the most critical factor.
Just what is gravitas? It’s a combination of intellectual horsepower and grit. Gravitas signals that
you know your stuff cold and can field any question in your domain of knowledge. But
intellectual capacity is not enough. It must be combined with grit: your ability to project
confidence, credibility, and grace under fire. This includes getting others to buy into your ideas
when the going gets rough and influence them to take action. Gravitas requires decisiveness and
the courage to be a truth-teller. That means being bold and going where others may not venture,
all the while never breaking a sweat—essentially staying cool under pressure.
How you speak–Communication skills were identified by 28 percent of the vote as the second
universal component. These skills ultimately support your gravitas. They include both your
verbal and non-verbal behaviors: For example, how you speak, tone of voice, body language, and
eye contact.
How you look–Your appearance was considered relatively inconsequential, since it was rated by
only five percent of senior managers as important. There’s an interesting twist with this
component. Although it wasn’t valued as high as the other two, in reality it becomes your ticket
to get your foot in the door. We’ll discuss more about that in detail later.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Your Personal Brand
Based on this research and the qualities you identified of executive presence, where should you
begin your individual development plan for learning the right skills? A good place to start is to
identify your own personal brand and ask yourself the following questions: Who do I want to
become? How do I want to be seen? What do I want people to think of when they think about me
as a person? For example, as an executive coach, my personal brand is to be known as a trusted
professional, who is insightful, authentic, and compassionate. Those qualities drive my everyday
actions.
Take a moment and think about yourself and who you want to become. Begin by listing as many
qualities as you can. As you review your list, you may find there are some redundancies or
subsets of a broader quality. For example, if you listed professional and ethical, typically
someone who is a professional is ethical (at least one would hope that would be the case.) So
you’ll want to combine any duplicates. Take a moment to review and combine your items. Next,
select the top three or four.
Now that you have your top items, you have a framework to develop and expand your executive
presence. In other words, you now have a track to run on to build your skills. You can select
courses to study, get mentors to help you, or do whatever is necessary to move forward. That’s
the good news. Here’s the bad news. Even though you have a track to run on, unfortunately you
could encounter obstacles that could throw you off track.
Derailers
Coach and author Alan Fine states that most of us know what to do, but we don’t always do what
we know. For example, we all know that eating junk food is unhealthy, but many of us still eat it.
We know that exercise is good for us, but we may not do it. Why? It’s either not that important
to us, or because change is hard—plain and simple.
What can you do to overcome your natural reaction to resist facing your challenges head on?
One way is to ask for feedback and have someone hold you accountable who genuinely cares
about your success. I often have my clients read Marshall Goldsmith’s book What Got You Here
Won’t Get You There (2007). Goldsmith’s premise is that your current skills brought you to
where you are, but if you want to move further, you need to develop new skills. And, the way to
do that is to not only ask for feedback, but also ask for feedforward so you know what to do to
get better.
How does feedback help you? You need to know what you don’t know, because what you don’t
know can stunt and even derail your career. So, to overcome this obstacle, find an accountability
partner. You can hire a coach, but you don’t have to. Consider finding some trusted colleagues.
When they provide feedback and feedforward, it’s critical that you check your ego at the door
and be open and non-defensive. Try to see this through the lens of feedback as a gift. Be grateful,
because others are putting themselves out there to be helpful. They could choose to say nothing
and just let you restrict your career progression on your own.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Recap
So far I’ve covered the following topics:
1. Executive presence and its attached behaviors–What it looks like
2. The importance of establishing trust and why feelings and emotions are the drivers
behind influencing and motivating others to take a desired action
3. Developing a personal brand to give you a track to run on
4. How feedback and feedforward help you stay on track
Next, I’m going to discuss some key executive presence competencies, which align with CTI’s
research, followed by practical tips to help you develop your skills. Thus, the remainder of this ebook will cover:
1.
2.
3.
4.
Staying Present and Calm: Managing Stress (how you act: gravitas)
Conveying Confidence: Body Language (how you speak: communication)
Maintaining a Professional Appearance (how you look: appearance)
Developing and Delivering Presentations (gravitas, communication, and appearance)
Staying Present and Calm: Managing Stress
Let’s begin by going back to the bottom line: Remember, you’re constantly under scrutiny when
you’re in a position of power or authority. Your employees, colleagues, and managers are
routinely storing data points about your behavior and looking for consistency. To quote Aristotle:
“We are what we repeatedly do…”
Thus, it’s important to recognize that the first way to get your brand to stick is to practice,
practice, practice your new skills. However, even though you’re getting good at your skills, there
is a saboteur lurking ready to knock you off your game, and that saboteur comes in the form of
stress. It’s absolutely critical that you learn to manage your stress, so you can stay on track and
be consistent.
Stress can cause your amygdala to get hijacked. The amygdala lies deep within your brain and is
your protector, a guard dog of sorts who puts you in survival mode when the environment
becomes uncertain or dangerous. Primitive man always had to be on the lookout for danger, and
his friend, the amygdala—an internal radar detector—activated when the environment changed.
Today you don’t need to worry about saber tooth tigers, but because this is such a primitive part
of your brain, it doesn’t know the difference between real danger and perceived danger. It only
knows that when the situation is uncertain, you need protection. As a result, whenever the
amygdala senses uncertainty, alarms go off to tell you to prepare to fight, flee, or freeze. This is
so powerful, that it immediately sets off a physical chain reaction of which you’re initially
unaware unless you’re fully present to subtle bodily changes. If you don’t calm your amygdala
down quickly, it will take over, put you into survival mode, and diminish your capacity to think
clearly.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
What are some of these unconscious reactions?
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Senses and perceptions sharpen; time may slow down.
Blood flow to the muscles increases; muscles become tense and ready for action.
Your heart beats faster, increasing blood pressure and preparing you for peak exertion.
You breathe more rapidly getting ready to fight or flee.
You may want to urinate or empty your bowels; this makes you lighter so you can run
faster.
Your digestion stops; blood is diverted to your arms and legs.
Hormones are released that make the blood stickier so you’ll lose less blood if injured.
You start to sweat profusely, cooling you for exertion and making it less easy to grab you
if being chased.
Thus, the key is to stay present and be mindful of what’s going on in your body. This allows you
to immediately work toward quieting your amygdala the moment you sense something is up,
before it takes over and puts you in survival mode. Quickly calming yourself allows the thinking
part of your brain (the pre-frontal cortex) to continue to function so you can think before you act.
For example, you may feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, your gut may feel
queasy, or perhaps you’re clenching your fists or teeth. When this happens, you must act swiftly
to relax yourself. One of the fastest and easiest ways to regain control is to begin breathing
deeply. Start with four counts in, hold for four, and four counts out. Do this at least three times to
help settle you. While often overlooked, it’s surprisingly effective.
In Your Brain at Work (2009), David Rock discusses cognitive change as another technique used
to calm your amygdala. Cognitive change involves reframing your thinking about a situation.
This results in altering your outlook. One of my favorite quotes about cognitive change comes
from Wayne Dyer who said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look
at change.”
One cognitive change technique is to label the emotion you’re feeling. Let’s say you walk in a
room, and you notice that your body is tensing or that you’re clenching you teeth. You feel it,
stop for a moment, and say, “Hmmm, I’m feeling angry.” Just labeling alone can diffuse the
situation if you catch it early enough. However, you must be careful to say as few words as
possible to yourself; otherwise you’ll further fuel your anxiety. You just want to observe and let
the feeling pass. Labeling helps to release the energy and gives you the time to become a
detached observer.
Another method is to reinterpret the event. Here you decide the threat no longer exists. Imagine
for a moment that you’re sitting in the aisle seat of a plane, deeply involved in preparing for an
upcoming meeting, so your head is down and you’re absorbed in your work. Someone tries to get
in to the window seat, interrupts you with an “excuse me,” and steps all over your feet. At first
you’re irritated because you were interrupted, and now you’re even more irritated because the
person stepped on your feet. You think, “What a jerk,” and then you look up and see this person
has a white folding cane and dark glasses. He’s obviously blind. In an instant, your state of mind
changes from feeling anger and irritation to compassion. That’s how quickly you can settle your
amygdala.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
The next technique is normalizing. Let’s say you’re invited to attend a networking event where
you don’t know anyone and you’re feeling anxious about it. You tell yourself that it’s normal to
feel that way, and everyone else who’s new probably feels the same way. I used this approach
with a client who was a newbie to professional networking. I helped her to recognize that other
people also feel slightly uncomfortable, which gave her relief to know she wasn’t the only one.
Another option is reordering information. This involves putting a positive spin on what has
occurred—essentially looking for the silver lining. When you take this approach, it helps
alleviate the frustration or stress you might be feeling. An example of how I applied this
occurred several years ago when I was approached by a company to bid on a proposal which
required me to put together a team of coaches. I had always been a sole practitioner, so I didn’t
really have a team. The potential client, a large international shipping company, had reviewed
my website and liked my work. They told me that if I could put together a team, I’d be on a short
list of three companies.
Seizing the opportunity, I picked up the phone and started the process. It required having many
conversations with dozens of coaches, vetting them, and coordinating and formatting bios to
present in a professional package. When I was done, I had a team of 18 coaches to offer. Then I
put together and delivered a special sales presentation on our services. All of this took about 60
hours of my time. Regrettably, I came in second. Of course I notified all of my colleagues of the
results, and they were all disappointed, expressing how badly they felt for me because they knew
how much work I had put into this. It was common for them to say, “You must feel terrible!”
“What a waste of time!” “You put in all that effort for no money!” My response was, “Are you
kidding me? I feel great! I now have a team of coaches that I can market nationally. I never
would have even considered putting a team together without a potential client in hand. This
opportunity put the fire under me to get things going, and now I have an additional service to
offer the business community. Six months later I got a two-year contract with the San Diego
Airport involving a half dozen of my coaches. If I had allowed myself to see this as an exercise
in futility, I could have been paralyzed for days.
Probably one of the most challenging forms of reframing is repositioning, because it takes so
much brain energy, particularly in the heat of the moment, but the payoff is well worth the effort.
Years ago when I was a newly promoted compensation manager, I attended a meeting as the
only women among a group of very traditional male sales managers. One of the participants
started verbally attacking me at dinner for no reason, questioning why I was selected as a
manager. I was trying to be polite, but he just wouldn’t let up.
Earlier that evening he shared that he had a daughter who recently graduated college, so I used
this information as leverage to help him calm down. Here’s how: Despite the fact that I was
enduring a barrage of attacks, I tried to put myself in his shoes to understand why he was
behaving so badly. To his amygdala, I was perceived as a foe, since he had never experienced a
woman in a professional managerial role—particularly one who had influence over
recommending his salary and bonus levels. On a primitive level it was akin to defending his
village from invaders. Upon realizing his struggle, I quickly came up with a way to diffuse the
situation by having him walk a moment in my shoes and realize I wasn’t someone to fear. So I
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
said very quietly, “I don’t think you daughter would be very happy with you if she saw you right
now.”
He was taken aback and said, “What does my daughter have to do with this?”
I responded, “Imagine for a moment your daughter is sitting here right now and receiving this
level of abuse.”
He was totally silenced by this. Several things happened. I connected with him emotionally
through someone with whom he was familiar—his daughter. This allowed him to recognize I
was a person, just like his daughter and someone he would never intentionally hurt. Thus, I was
no longer perceived as a threat. It gave him real pause for thought, and he immediately calmed
down and profusely apologized. Later, when we talked about this, he indicated that he had no
idea why he was acting the way he did.
Puzzled, he said, “I wasn’t even drinking; I don’t understand.”
I explained that he reacted the way he did, because he hadn’t experienced a woman in a
management role before, and his brain was reacting to the unknown. Now that he understood his
trigger, he was more equipped to handle working with women in the future. This story has a
great ending. He ultimately became a champion of women in management and served as a
mentor to help them move up the ranks into higher sales management roles.
Conveying Confidence: Body Language
As we seek to climb the corporate ladder, many of us want to build or develop greater
confidence. Let’s first examine what dominance and power look like. A classic expression of
feeling power is to raise both arms in the V for Victory symbol. Another common stance is the
Wonder Woman pose, standing tall with legs about 18 inches apart and arms akimbo, hands
resting squarely on the hips. A third is the CEO posture, which typically involves leaning back in
your chair with your hands clasped behind your head and your elbows out in a relaxed but
controlled position.
You might be surprised at how many senior leaders I coach whose confidence isn’t where they
would like it to be—and you can’t have executive presence without confidence, because along
with intellect, confidence is the very fabric of gravitas.
Typically, high power poses makes one look bigger. The body is open with arms outward and
legs apart. The person can be sitting or standing, but there are no guards up to protect the body.
The head is up, with eyes looking straight at you. Low power poses, on the other hand, tend to
make the body small. Arms or hands are folded or wrapped around the around the body, head is
down, eyes averted, and legs are close together.
A study conducted by social psychologist Amy Cuddy (June, 2012) from Harvard Business
School reveals a fascinating phenomenon. She identified a series of power poses, much like
those I’ve described. First she took saliva tests of the subjects and measured two hormones:
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
cortisol, a stress hormone, and testosterone, a hormone which impacts aggression and mental
sharpness. Then she had the subjects hold a power pose for two minutes. Subsequently, she took
another saliva test and found that the subjects’ cortisol levels decreased and their testosterone
increased. In fact, for a period of time afterwards, those who stood in the high power poses also
demonstrated greater risk-taking than those who didn’t hold power poses. I’d encourage you to
view her TED talk for more detail.
I’ve used the power pose technique with clients, and the results have always been positive. One
executive who recently had her confidence shaken, contacted me and expressed concerns about
an upcoming, important meeting. I suggested that just prior to the meeting she find a private
place and get into a power pose for two minutes. She tried it and was astounded at how she
conducted herself at the meeting. She told me she felt fearless. And it felt gooooood!
Maintaining a Professional Appearance
The third universal component of executive presence identified in CTI’s research was
appearance. Although they found that appearance was inconsequential to executive presence, as I
mentioned earlier, we need to look at that finding more deeply.
Nothing replaces good grooming. The last thing you want to do is look like an unmade bed, or
that you just rolled out of one! Clean and manicured nails are a must. In most work places, polish
is fine as long it’s not distracting with designs and glitter. Collars and cuffs should be pressed
and non-frayed. Once they become frayed, replace the shirt. Additionally, your clothes should be
stain and wrinkle-free. I’d be willing to wager that none of this is news to you, but as I
mentioned before, you know what to do, but you may not be doing what you know. In this case,
perhaps appearance isn’t important to you, or you don’t think it’s important to others. You
couldn’t be any more wrong.
Even though CTI’s research revealed that appearance wasn’t as important as gravitas and
communication, the reality is that a poor image acts a barrier to entry. What do I mean by that?
Unless you’re well groomed and maintain a professional appearance, no one will even let you in
the door to listen to you. You simply won’t be taken seriously.
You need to present an image that’s well groomed, polished, and healthy. Anything less sends a
subtle or not-so-subtle message, that if you’re sloppy with yourself, true or not, you’ll also be
sloppy with your work and thus can’t be trusted.
While how you’re groomed and the type clothing you choose are clear barriers to entry, body
type and height are not barriers in and of themselves. CTI’s research revealed that it’s more
about what you do with what you’ve got that matters. This is good news, because it means that
the bodies we’re born with won’t hold us back, and we can acquire the knowledge to learn how
to look our best. Ill-fitting, tight clothes that pull at the seams are real distractions and should be
left in the closet until weight is normalized or discarded for clothes that fit. There are many
options for plus-size women as well as big and tall men that enable them to look professional and
appropriate. The investment will pay for itself in the long run.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
A question often comes up about how much make-up a woman should wear at work. A research
a study conducted by Nancy Etcoff, et. al. (2011) at Harvard Medical School provided some
surprising information. Researchers showed study participants photos of several different
women. Each of these women had a set of four photos, with the only difference being the degree
of make-up applied. Thus, the first photo was No Make-up; the second was Minimal; the third
was Moderate; and the fourth was Dramatic. The study participants were shown these by either
flashing the photos for 250 milliseconds or allowing them to view the photos for a period of
time. The subjects were then asked to rate the photos on how attractive, competent, trustworthy,
and likeable they judged the women in the photos to be. The research showed that whether the
subjects viewed the photo in milliseconds or longer periods of time, the results were the same.
The photos of the women who wore the dramatic version of make-up were consistently rated
highest on all qualities except trustworthiness. For trustworthiness, moderate was selected. The
implication may be that although dramatic makeup gets high marks, it’s hard to fully trust a
glamour girl. It also implies that a visit to the cosmetic counter is probably a good investment for
women.
Additionally, facial attractiveness for men or women deserves a mention. You may have read
research which indicated that good looking people are hired more frequently. While that may be
the case in hiring, it’s not the case for executive presence according to CTI’s research. Instead, if
someone is too good looking, that quality can be viewed as a distraction.
Finally, here are some general rules of the road to for how to dress:
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Dress for the job you want not the job you’re in.
Update your wardrobe; styles change.
Insure a proper fit.
Dress for presence, not comfort.
Keep a jacket or blazer handy in your office.
Women: Never wear anything revealing.
If it’s work connected, e.g., dinner with colleagues after a conference, it counts as work.
Developing and Delivering Presentations
Dan and Chip Heath have written an outstanding book entitled Made to Stick (2007), which I’ve
recommended as a staple for all my clients who need to develop and deliver presentations. The
authors use a six-step model called SUCCESs. I’ve fully embraced this model by applying it to
all my presentations. Their model is as follows:
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Simplicity: Identify your core message.
Unexpected: Get attention with the unconventional.
Concrete: Use language that activates the senses and paints a picture.
Credible: Use outside sources.
Emotional: People care about people. It’s the juice for action.
Stories: Stories drive action by inspiring and motivating.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
If you make presentations, I encourage you to invest in this book as a resource. I can attest to its
value by saying that the ratings on my presentations have dramatically improved as a result of
their advice. I wish I had known about the Heath brothers years ago.
Once you’ve developed your presentation, practicing your delivery comes next. Let’s begin with
this premise: The audience is rooting for you. They want you to succeed. So it’s your obligation
to put yourself in a relaxed state of mind so the audience can truly receive you and your message.
Here are some tips to help.
First and foremost, be prepared: Know your topic cold. That comes with practice. Rehearse and
practice it over and over so you’re completely comfortable with the content. Do it by yourself,
for your friends, colleagues, and whoever will listen. Seek their feedback, and make adjustments.
If you’re using equipment, make sure you have backups available. I usually bring flash drives, a
timer, a computer, my own clicker, batteries, and a projector. If you want to use a specific
introduction, bring an extra copy, because meeting planners are notorious for leaving it behind.
Being prepared takes a lot of the pressure off and enables you to be fully present with your
audience.
It’s very common for people to use rituals before going on stage as a way to relax and build
confidence. Athletes often do this before a game. For you, it could be wearing your lucky socks,
dress, or shoes. It could be touching a rabbit’s foot or crossing yourself. Use whatever works to
help you stay focused and calm before standing in front of your audience.
Personally, I say a prayer. Usually, within five minutes of beginning my presentation, I close my
eyes, and say, “Please let me give the audience exactly what they need and more than they
expect,” followed by a deep breath and a smile. And then I let it go, because that’s all I can do,
and all I can hope for. I’ve prepared thoroughly, and the rest is out of my hands. I just trust that
things will go well.
Now that you’re on stage, it’s important to remember that the presentation is about your
message, and you need to keep the audience focused on what you’re saying. In doing so, avoid
distractions. Jangling earrings can interfere with a microphone. A flashy tie draws attention to
the tie, not you and your message.
To keep your audience engaged, vary your tone, pitch, and pace of speech. Monotones will put
an audience to sleep, so vary your pitch and your pace. Pauses can be very effective, and lower
tones are ideal. Who would you rather listen to: James Earl Jones or Pee Wee Herman?
A perfect example of someone who took tone of voice seriously to advance her career was
Margaret Thatcher, a former Prime Minister of England. She didn’t always sound so cultured and
authoritative. In fact, she was initially dubbed a shrieker and criticized for having a shrill voice.
A shrill voice can be associated with hysteria, and that doesn’t lend itself to gravitas. So she
hired a coach to help her develop a voice with lowered tones and to pace herself appropriately.
Consider renting the DVD of The Iron Lady, and you’ll see what Mrs. Thatcher did to impact her
voice and image. Meryl Streep was wonderful in this portrayal.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Another thing you need to watch out for is “uptalk,” or ending your sentences with a high pitch.
This voice inflection makes you sound as though you’re asking a question rather than making a
statement. The consequence is that you appear uncertain, and you telegraph a lack of confidence.
Also, filler words such as ahs, ums, and ands signal discomfort and are real distractions. It’s
better to simply pause and says nothing while you gather your thoughts.
Finally, engage the audience whenever you can. Go through your presentation and look for
opportunities to connect with them and get them active mentally or physically. I rarely let 10
minutes go by without giving the audience a chance to respond or an activity to complete.
Resources
Throughout this e-book I’ve quoted resources and studies. I hope that I’ve stimulated you
sufficiently to dig in and learn more. In this section, I’m going to share several of my favorite
books and provide a brief review. I’ve read many more books than these, but in my opinion,
these are the best on the topics of executive presence and presentation skills, and they’ll serve
you well. Good luck in your journey, and congratulations for reading this far. I’d love nothing
more than for you to share your success in earning your seat at the table. When you do, please
send me a photo of you sitting proudly, and tell me your story!
Goulston, Mark, Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone, New
York: AMACOM, 2010.
Hands down, this is one of the best book I’ve read in years and has become required
reading for all my clients. Although, published in 2010, I just discovered it in 2015 and
have found it to be an invaluable resource. Mark is a psychiatrist, executive coach, and
hostage negotiator, who, in an easy-to-read format, provides a wide variety of tools that
will help you become more a more effective communicator. I am his biggest fan! His
mantra: Remember to be more interested than interesting if you truly want to connect.
Goldsmith, Marshall, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There: How Successful People Become
Even More Successful, New York: Hyperion, 2007.
Marshall helps you identify what may be holding you back and gives you practical advice
for developing your career. His concepts of feedback and feedforward are critical to
success. This is a must read for those who want to advance their careers.
Heath, Chip and Heath, Dan, Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, New
York: Random House, 2007.
As I described earlier, this is a staple for your bookshelf. It’s easy to read and contains
numerous examples to help you develop a compelling, engaging presentation. Both my
clients and I have used the authors’ advice with great success. Required reading for
anyone who makes presentations.
ൡൢ
©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Hedges, Kristi, The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage
Others, New York: AMACOM, 2012.
Well written with solid documentation, thoughtful examples, and specific actions to drive
her points home. It’s a keeper! A well-deserved 5-star Amazon rating.
Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success, New
York: Harper Collins, 2014.
Hewlett reports solid research that identified the three pillars of executive presence. This
well-written book takes a fresh perspective and adds new information to the body of
knowledge. While it’s shorter than other books I reviewed, it’s no less compelling and
well worth the read.
Parker, Lisa, Managing the Moment: A Leader’s Guide to Building Executive Presence, South
Carolina: Advantage Media Group, 2013.
Parker writes an easy-to-read book with solid information to help you boost your career.
This book gets my vote for containing the most practical advice of the lot. It contains a
variety of career boosting tips, exercises, and activities. This one also belongs on your
shelf.
Sandberg, Sheryl, Lean In: Women Work, and the Will to Lead, New York: Knopf, 2013.
Sandberg is the COO of Google. While this is not about executive presence, per se, she
makes many good points that lend themselves to developing gravitas for women. It’s well
written, well researched, entertaining, and very inspiring—a little preachy at the end, but
overall a terrific book.
Other books and research studies referenced in this document
Cuddy, Amy, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are,”TED, June 2012.
http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are
Pillay, Srinivason S., Your Brain and Business, Upper Saddle River, NJ: FT Press, 2011.
Rock, David, Your Brain at Work, New York: HarperCollins, 2009.
Etcoff, Nancy, et.al., “Cosmetics as a Feature of Extended Human Phenotype: Modulations of
the Perception of Biologically Important Facial Signals,” PLoS ONE 6, no. 10, 2011.
Sutton, Robert, “How Often Do You Look at Your Boss? Baboons Do It Every 20 or 30
Seconds,” Work Matters, May 30, 2010.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/work-matters
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
About the author
Dr. N. Elizabeth Fried, author, consultant, and executive coach, has
been president of N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. since 1983, dba as
The Learning Engine and My Executive Coach. Ranked by
CoachingGurus.net in 2012 for three years running as one of the top
15 most influential coaches in the world, she has contributed
chapters to Coaching for Success (2009) and Extreme Excellence
(2008) as well as authored two books focused on human resources.
Her firm was rated by The San Diego Business Journal in their 2016
and 2017 Book of Lists, as among the top 12 executive training
companies in San Diego County.
Ms. Fried received her Ph.D. from The Ohio State University and
served two terms as the president of the San Diego Professional
Coaches Alliance. A vibrant and informative speaker, she regularly
addresses audiences on executive development issues. From 1983 to
2001, Fried conducted compensation research on a national scale and
was quoted widely in such publications as The Wall Street Journal,
USA Today, The New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Washington Post, U.S. News and World
Report, Ms., Business Week, and Fortune Magazine.
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©2017 N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc. ∎ www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
∎ 760.598.8888
Executive Presence: How to Act Like a CEO
by
N. Elizabeth Fried, Ph.D., BCC
Defining Executive Presence
•
Activity I: Think about a person you know who has great presence. This could be a person you know
personally, professionally or one you observed in the media. Write down his or her name.
___________________________
•
List as many characteristics as you can recall below:
A. ___________________________________
B. ___________________________________
C. ___________________________________
D. ___________________________________
E. ___________________________________
F. ___________________________________
G. ___________________________________
H. ___________________________________
I.
___________________________________
•
Activity 2: Review the characteristics above and think about the specific actions and behaviors this
person displayed. For example, if you selected “confident,” ask yourself: How did they stand? Were
they standing erect, shoulders back? How did they walk into the room? Did they move quickly or
tentatively as they entered? Then, write the actions and behaviors next to the item above.
•
Activity 3: Ask yourself how these behaviors made you feel as you connected with and listened to
the person you identified. Jot down your emotional reactions.
A. ___________________________________
B. ___________________________________
C. ___________________________________
D. ___________________________________
1|P a g e
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
760.598.8888
[email protected] www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
www.TheLearningEngine.org
•
Center for Talent Innovation (CTI) research: 3 Universals
1. ___________________________________
2. ___________________________________
3. ___________________________________
Your Personal Brand: Getting a Track to Run on
•
Activity 4: Ask yourself: Who do I want to become? How do I want to be seen? What do I want
people to think of when they think about me as a person? List these characteristics below:
A. ___________________________________
B. ___________________________________
C. ___________________________________
D. ___________________________________
E. ___________________________________
F. ___________________________________
G. ___________________________________
H. ___________________________________
I.
___________________________________
J. ___________________________________
Value of Feedback and Feedforward
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
2|P a g e
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
760.598.8888
[email protected] www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
www.TheLearningEngine.org
Staying Present and Calm: Managing Stress
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Building Confidence: Body Language
• Power Poses
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Maintaining a Professional Appearance
• Grooming
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
• Dress & Make-up
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
• Facial Attractiveness
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
3|P a g e
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
760.598.8888
[email protected] www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
www.TheLearningEngine.org
• Body Type
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Developing and Presentations
•
Made to Stick by Chip and Dan Heath, (2007) 6-Step SUCCESs Model
S___________________________________________
U_____________________________________________
C___________________________________________
C_____________________________________________
E___________________________________________
S_____________________________________________
• Preparedness
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
• Rituals
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
• Pitch and Pace, Language, Filler words, and Uptalk.
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
4|P a g e
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
760.598.8888
[email protected] www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
www.TheLearningEngine.org
• Audience engagement.
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________________
Resources
Here is a brief review of a few of my favorite books. In my opinion, these are the best on the topics of executive presence and
presentation skills and I encourage you to read them.
Goldsmith, Marshall, What Got You Here Won’t Get you There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful, New
York: Hyperion, 2007.
Marshall helps you identify what may be holding you back and gives you practical advice for developing your career.
His concepts of feedback and feedforward are critical to success. This is a must read for those who want to advance
their careers.
Goulston, Mark, Just Listen: Discover the secret to getting through to Absolutely Anyone, New York: AMACOM, 2010
This is, hands down, the best book I’ve read in a long, long time. I have added it to my resources list this year (2016)
because I was so impressed. It gives you the precise tools you need for all types of communication for both
professional and personal life. Dr. Goulston is a psychiatrist, executive coach, author, and hostage negotiator who will
capture your heart and mind with this book. I have now added it to the required reading list for my executive coaching
clients. What a find!
Heath, Chip and Heath, Dan, Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, New York: Random House, 2007.
As I described earlier, this is a staple for your bookshelf. It’s easy to read, and contains numerous examples to help you
develop compelling, engaging presentation. Both my clients and I have used their advice with great success. Required
reading for anyone who makes presentations.
Hedges, Kristi, The Power of Presence: Unlock Your Potential to Influence and Engage Others, New York: AMACOM, 2012.
Well written with solid documentation, thoughtful examples and specific actions to drive her points home. It’s a
keeper! A well-deserved 5-star Amazon rating.
Hewlett, Sylvia Ann, Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success, New York: Harper Collins, 2014.
Hot off the presses on June 3, 2014, I preordered this book and read it the day it came out. Hewlett reports solid
research that identified the three pillars of executive presence. This well-written book takes a fresh perspective and
added new information to the body of knowledge. While it’s shorter than other books I reviewed, it’s no less
compelling and well worth the read.
Parker, Lisa, Managing the Moment: A Leader’s Guide to Building Executive Presence, South Carolina: Advantage Media
Group, 2013.
Parker writes an easy-to-read book with solid information to help you boost your career. This book gets my vote for
containing the most practical advice of the lot. It contains a variety of career boosting tips, exercises and activities. This
one also belongs on your shelf.
Sandberg, Sheryl, Lean In: Women Work, and the Will to Lead, New York: Knopf, 2013.
Sandberg is the COO of Google. While this is not about executive presence, per se, she makes many good points that
lend themselves to developing gravitas for women. It’s well written, well-researched, entertaining, and very inspiring–a
little preachy at the end, but overall a terrific book.
5|P a g e
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
760.598.8888
[email protected] www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
www.TheLearningEngine.org
White, Jon F. and Taketa, Alexandra, What you Don’t Know About Listening Could Fill a Book, 2014.
This book is a straight forward approach to the art of listening. It provides practical exercises and will help individuals
sharpen their listening skills and to develop better connections.
6|P a g e
N. E. Fried and Associates, Inc.
760.598.8888
[email protected] www.MyExecutiveCoach.net
www.TheLearningEngine.org
Your opinion matters!
Please take a moment
now to evaluate this
session.