English
Undergraduate II Year
English Language & Literature
Subject: Prose
Title: On Shaking Hands - AG Gardiner
Duration: 00:11:12
On Shaking Hands - AG Gardiner
Module 1
Alfred George Gardiner was one of the most distinguished essayists of the 20 th century. His
essays are delightful, humorous and thought-provoking. Gardiner started his career as a
journalist, writing essays for the Daily News under the pen-name ‘Alpha of the Plough’.
Gardiner was a prolific writer & went on to compile several volumes of his writings. His essays
are a combination of original thoughts & emotions in a highly reader format & so they find a
place amongst the writings of literary genius.
All across the world, it is customary to greet people you know in one way or another- each
country and each culture has its own revered, respected & acceptable form of greeting. The
customs of one nation may seem unintelligible or even hideous & unacceptable to the people
of another nation. As the old saying goes: ‘One man’s food is another man’s poison’. Just as in
the matter of culinary taste, so also in the manner of greeting! A G Gardiner is an Englishman
and as a proper English gentleman, he speaks with great pride about the Western practice of
greeting by shaking hands. So ingrained is this habit in the western psyche, that it appears to be
the most natural & instinctive way to greet people. Gardiner does agree, however, that the
custom is not without its own disadvantages & embarrassments. But, as a true Englishman, he
is not about to dwell on them before he first examines the greeting options offered by other
nations.
Module 2
Gardiner talks about the Japanese custom of bowing- The Japanese bend waist down & the
lower they go the greater the respect they’re showing... So if you want to show high regard to a
Japanese guest, you would bow down to about 45 degrees! If you just want to say Hello, a little
bending down of your shoulders will convey it well enough. Thanks to Bollywood, we all know
that Sio-Nara means ‘Good bye’ in Japanese, but did you know that ‘Ohio!’ means Good
Morning?
The Chinese , the author says, make a grave or serious motion with their hands, but many
Chinese fold their hands together in a gesture of greeting very similar to our Indian ‘Namaste’,
and you might hear them say ‘Ni hao’ ( pronounced nee how) which literally means, ‘you good!’
It’s like speaking goodness upon the one greeted.
He also mentions the Arab who touches his friend’s chest while greeting him, while speaking a
greeting which is all too familiar to us in India- ‘A salaam Aliekum’ & the reply which is pretty
much just a shuffling around of the same words: with the addition of ‘wah’ which simply means
&, ‘wah- aliekum salaam!’ And, no wonder, because the meaning is so gracious: It says: ‘Peace
be upon you all!’
Gardiner also notes how amused he was at the Russian habit of masculine kissing & recounts
the 70th birthday of a friend at which a procession of bearded men proceeded to fling their arms
around him & give him a resounding smack on each of his whiskered cheeks, to which the
birthday boy gave them each a resounding smack in return!
The Indian Namaste is also noted with commendation by Gardiner. And, arguably, in this day &
age of fearsome, incurable disease, a most hygienic practice, loaded with courtesy & infused
with respect, dignity. But what’s truly amazing is the beautiful meaning of Namaste. Did you
know that Namaste means: the divinity within me salutes the divinity within you?
Module 3:
Having considered all these various forms of greeting, the author feels that the Englishman can
never be argued out of shaking hands. It would be like denying their ‘ hands their natural
office’! Or it would be like a bond without a seal! However, the author is honest enough to
admit that even this amiable practice is not without its drawbacks- chief among them being the
lack of hygiene in the practice.
AG Gardiner does bring out one very interesting point, however. He says that the way a person
shakes your hand gives you many important clues about their health & character! And this, we
discovered is so true! A person’s handshake is a mark of his or her personality & their moral &
physical health. Coleridge, the Romantic poet, said, after shaking hands with Keats, who was
ailing with TB, a very serious disease in the 19th century, remarked that he felt death in that
hand. Handshakes can reveal EVERYTHING about us.
Module 4:
We just named these handshakes to remember them easily:
1. The cold-fish handshake:
The cold limp hand offered weakly, & hesitantly, suggesting a weak body & mind, a shy
personality, & perhaps a reluctance on the part of the person to even interact socially.
2. The dumped pudding handshake:
Some people just appear to weakly dump their soft hands into yours & are in no hurry to take it
back… These hands, Gardiner says, are cold & unresponsive like jellyfish, lacking warmth &
heartiness. They leave you puzzled...
3. The bone-crusher handshake:
The extremely over-enthusiastic fellow who crushes your hand into a jumble of aching bones &
shakes your arm vigorously up & down multiple times, until your arm is almost out of its socket.
4. The lingering handshake:
Seems overcharged with affection, the owner doesn’t seem in any hurry to claim his hand back
until you feel like throwing it out of the window!
5. The firm gentleman’s handshake- the perfect middle ground, between the Oriental Namaste
& the Russian’s enormous bear-hug- dignified, warm & permeated with a sense of human
comradeship.
This last kind- the innocent & amiable handshake, is what Gardiner feels is beyond criticism,
although the Press is generally attacking it on grounds of hygiene. As the world seems to
gravitate increasingly towards common practices, it does seem like the good ol’ British greeting
of the firm handshake is here to stay! So if you shake hands you must, then get it right, &
convey a bright, energetic, optimistic , purposeful & friendly personality!