Coastal Senior Cycling Club Inc.
Newsletter
Online Results & Information: www.cscc.yolasite.com
2014/2015 No. 4
Facebook: Coastal Senior Cycling Club
Splinter Walker too powerful
The generously handicapped Anthony Splinter Walker powered away to win Race 3, The Coastal Marine 30km
handicap. Starting off the 13 minute mark with the Prince Russell Broomhall, Keith the Panther Boyle and new rider
Nick Johnstone Splinter put the pressure on by constantly surging as he went to the front. Nick tried to keep up but
in so doing burnt himself out. According to Splinter, “We splintered on the hills but then regrouped at the end of
each climb. At the Henrietta turn I just went for it. I was absolutely stuffed on the line. I saw the big shadow of
Dozer but I just managed to beat him. I was pleased with my result considering I had ridden 400km last weekend
from Hobart to Launceston. From Hobart to Ross I was in the small gears as my front derailleur wouldn't change
up."
Riding off Splinter’s mark was new rider Nick Johnstone. ”I’ve done more watching cycling than racing. My son
Jake rides in the Opens, so he’s inspired me to take up racing. However, the Opens wouldn’t be enough of a
challenge. I wanted riders who were going to push me to my limits and Anthony Splinter Walker certainly did that!
Every time it was his turn to go to the front he would surge and break up the group. I’d try and go with him, but in
the end I couldn’t sustain the efforts. After Splinter rode away I rode on with Prince Russell, unfortunately Keith the
Panther Boyle had already dropped off. I reckon he’s foxing for a better mark. One thing I need to do is learn all
these hand signals. Keith was really bamboozling me. I didn’t know what the hand behind the back meant. I
thought it was some kind of derogatory gesture.”
The Panther who was standing nearby would only say, “I wouldn’t say too much Nick! The Phantom won’t tell me
what he’s on, but whatever it is I want some of it! “
First across the line was new rider Clint Reid aboard a magnificent looking Cannondale Blank Inc Synapse with
Ultegra, carbon FSA cranks and Shimano RS 81 wheels. “I am a colleague of Agent 86 Jonno Wilson and he
inspired me to come along and race, but I'm extremely disappointed that he didn't turn up today. I like to race
against the best." Clint rode off the 10 minute mark but soon broke away on the second hill coming out of Elliott.
Raymondo was impressed with the big gear Clint was turning. Indeed he was so strong that the week before he
loosened his crank arms which he had to retighten. Raymondo was also infatuated with Clint's black and red KMC
chain."
Clint is obviously very serious about his racing because Aaron the Flyer Robertson told me he saw he went for a
training ride at Stowport last weekend.
The ten minute group provided four of the top 10 finishers led by Paul Dozer Barry in second. Annette Wilson came
in third and also recorded the fastest time for the women, 65.24. The Ranger Trevor Richards came in sixth and
Luke Gunner Atkinson eighth. Raymondo Spinks, Somerset’s oldest teenager, finished 13 th running out of wheels
to suck. Fellow marker Stephen Clarke was dropped early and is obviously slowly building his form. Gunn’s Plains
winner Mike Cranney being the good Clubman decided to give someone else a turn in race 3.
Killer Kerrie Murchie in finishing seventh has truly confirmed her ranking as Team Murchie’s best rider. Indeed the
petulant Sir Doug Murchie starting off 7.30, 30 seconds in front of Killer, is refusing to speak to the press.
His Majesty Prince Russell Broomhall finished 7th in his first outing this season. His munificence was able to pick up
Luke Gunner Atkinson 8th and Tim GreenEdge Dowling 9th and cart them to the line. Dora the dog panting excitedly
on the line with Jayne Tarzan Grubits King (please note Tarzan wasn’t panting excitedly just Dora) thought the
Prince’s ride was a display of true refinement showing his class and breeding. We know Dora keeps a close eye on
the finishing form of all riders and was pleased to see the Phantom on the drops pedalling all the way to the finish.
Unfortunately she was not impressed with the Loco Johnny Lucas who had sat up and wasn’t pedalling.
It was great to see the Master Steve Grubits racing for the first time this season and he has obviously lost none of
his power and speed. The Master was off the backmark with Dean the Hawk Hays and Fred Guilbert but they
simply couldn't hang on. When he came past me on the rise at the Yolla General Store he was in that low aero
position and the power was on. I asked Steve for his training secrets, “Basically my major training is riding to and
from work at Lion every day.” How many kilometres is that? I asked. Tarzan sitting beside her Dad laughed. “3km!
each way, though the terrain is undulating! "
The Beast was taking some kudos for the Master's performance. “Flying into Yolla on the homeward journey the
Master jumped on my wheel as I dragged him to the Yolla General Store so he could fly past the Phantom. Indeed
the Phantom's performance was nothing short of pathetic. He came past me on the rise to the Yolla Dairy but when
we reached the descent into Yolla and the tavern I had made up all my lost ground. How he holds that Strava
record bamboozles me, there must have been a howling gale blowing. Anyway I am happy to do my bit in
contributing to the Master's fastest time.“ The Master concurred, “The Beast did a terrific job through Yolla it was
like being sucked along by a double-decker bus!”
Unfortunately the Beast upset the peloton because when I asked Super if she had made any of her world famous
chocolate hedgehogs for the afternoon tea in the kitchen of the Elliott Hall she replied, “I had the intentions of
making them on Friday night but the Beast devoured the chocolate!” We expect selfless acts from the Beast not
selfish ones. Let’s hope now the Beast has reached 50 he will put the Club first!
The 20.30 group was led by the Elliott Champion John Sterling Pearce and did the citizens of Elliott turn out in
droves to see him perform on the beautiful spring afternoon. Sterling led the ever improving Brendon the Cowboy
Spurr, new rider Pat Best, the Shark Nigel Sheahen and the Phantom. The Shark dropped off the line at about the
East Yolla Road turn and the Phantom held on to the descent into the Calder Flats. The remaining three riders
continued and finished strongly, especially Pat Best who galloped away from the Cowboy on the final sprint to the
line for 10th. Cowboy was 11th with Sterling a further 16 seconds adrift in 12th.
The Shark would only say, “I still hate the hills on the way up and I really hadn’t warmed up at the start but when
Tony Wilson joined me we formed a solid partnership. At one stage we were joined by the Hawk Dean Hayes so
we could alternate turns and everyone could have a bit of a rest. I have some leave coming up and I need to do
some serious training before the Police Charity Bike Ride.“ We all know that after the Police ride the Shark hits top
form.
Tony Wilson started with the Icon Steve Harris, Bob Walker and Joel Laycock. The group dropped the Icon at East
Yolla Road but Steve was back on board by the Cowshed Climb. However, the 22.30 group was not a friendly team
and fractured with Bob Walker finishing 15th four seconds in front of Joel.
Unfortunately Katherine Hitch crashed coming back down the Cowshed Climb. Louise Minnie Morse was witness to
it all and takes up the story, “Richard the Bandit Hope had a flat and he swerved across the road. Katherine
slammed on the brakes and they locked up. I was lucky I didn’t come off but luckily I was able to avoid her, I am
sure my track cycling experience. Katherine has a swollen hand around the base of the palm.“
In breaking news the Club has received an email from Chris the Project Anderson’s lawyer, “My client is dismayed
by the scurrilous rumours being pedalled by the General Lindsay Malley. In the light of the defamatory allegations
involving drug use my client would like to categorically deny the use of any performance drugs at last years Around
the Bay event in Melbourne. Mr Malley’s allegations are borne from an insane jealousy of my client’s cycling
abilities. In the light of this we have started negotiations about joining Team Wilson for the current season. The
Project’s lead out man and Super domestique Anthony Stealth-Wolfe will also be changing teams! “
Thank you to our volunteers who make each race possible. Ray Razor Atkins was our Commassaire with his able
Timekeeper and starter Thomas BMC Wilson. It was great to see Tarzan Jayne Grubits King on the line. Our two
drivers were Bill Kerr in the front car and Allan Luxton on the rear. Unfortunately due to Katherine’s accident Bill
Kerr (a trained nurse) stopped to administer first aide to Katherine and the turn boys (Edward Murchie and Oliver
Malley) were left wondering how they were going to get back. Thanks go to the Cowboy’s wife for going and
collecting them.
The Phantom
Saturday’s race sponsor: Paul Morse & Louise “Minnie” Morse
Race 4
Stowport – 32 km – Handicap
Meet:
Stowport Cricket Grounds
Race Manager:
Ray Atkins
Commassaire:
Aaron Robertson
Signs:
Dale Atkinson
Starter/Time keeper:
Thomas Wilson
Line duties:
Ray Atkins / Aaron Robertson
Lead car:
Minnie’s mum (Mrs Morse)
Tail car:
Tim’s bro (Ted Dowling)
Race presentations at Crusty’s Bakery, Wivenhoe
Duty Roster – Still seeking volunteers!!!!
Please let Super know if you can fill any of the spots below:
(or any other race dates)
Date
Venue
Time Keeper
Starter
04/10/2014
Forth
Thomas W
Ray Atkins
18/10/2014
Gunns Plains
Thomas W
Ray Atkins
25/10/2014
Elliott
Thomas W
Ray Atkins
08/11/2014
Stowport
Ray Atkins
15/11//2014
Forth
Ray Atkins
29/11/2014
Gunns Plains
Ray Atkins
Line
Tarzan
Lead Car
Tail Car
Lloyd
Pilgrim
Jonno
Wilson
Raymondo
Spinks
Mike
Cranney
Kerrie
Murchie
Trevor
Richards
Turn
n/a
n/a
Tarzan’s Tips
Riding with the wind
With spring here and summer approaching, this is the prime time for windy weather on the north west coast. As you
may have found out by now, when on the bike one moment you will have the wind blowing you backwards and then
around the corner it will be blowing you off the edge of the road. Here are some ideas in how to beat the wind when
out training or in your next race.
Drafting - sticking close to the wheel in front of you can save you energy and keep you out of the wind. Always draft
to the side away from the wind so that you are sitting off to the side of the bike in front.
Crosswind racing - In a race where you are doing turns, when your time on the front is up you pull off into the wind.
Ride an easier gear - it can be like resistance training when going into the wind. Therefore to help conserve energy
use an easier gear so that you can keep your cadence high (around 85-100).
Low position - riding on the drops if a raid bike can help to cut through the wind, by decreasing your wind
resistance.
Tight clothing - cycling gear is generally close fitting, as above, it helps to decrease wind resistance. Loose fitting
jackets, tops etc. can act like a small parachute when the wind gets into them.
Race 5 - Saturday 4 October – Forth – 25km Time
Trial / Nominated Time
Meet:
Forth Primary School
Race Manager:
Jayne Grubits-King
Signs:
Dale Atkinson
Starter/Time Keeper:
Thomas Wilson
Line duties:
Ray Atkins / Jayne Grubits-King
Lead car:
Lloyd Pilgrim
Tail car:
Mike Cranney
Race Sponsor:
Quiz:
Is The Phantom:
A:
Laughing at a joke?
B:
Crying about his handicap?
C:
Cramping?
Healthglo