GENERAL FEEDBACK ON GG/AD FIRST DRAFTS
NOTE: Review this handout carefully and PROOFREAD YOUR FINAL DRAFT
VERY, VERY, VERY CAREFULLY FOR THESE ERRORS (have your parent or classmate
proofread, too). I expect perfect ‒ or pretty &^$%#^ near perfect ‒ final essays from you!
Don t know proofreading marks? Go to http://www.merriamwebster.com/mw/table/proofrea.htm and to understand the marks I ve made on your essays.
Grammar:
Do not split infinitives:
Incorrect
Correct
to not only be able
not only to be able
to not only move up
not only to move up
If you have numerous RUN-ON sentences marked in your essay, refer to pp 31-44 in A
Commonsense Guide to Grammar and Usage.
If you have numerous FRAGMENTS, refer to pp 20-30 in A Commonsense Guide to Grammar
and Usage.
If you have many incorrect POSSESSIVES, refer to pp 210-218 in A Commonsense Guide to
Grammar and Usage.
Do NOT use contractions:
Incorrect
Correct
It s
It is (or It was)
should ve
should have
That s
That is (or That was)
Reword sentences so that they do NOT end with a preposition:
Incorrect
Correct
I do not know where she is at.
I do not know where she is.
There was not that much upward social
mobility to begin with.
Even in the beginning, there was not that much
upward social mobility.
The American Dream gives us something to
hope for.
The American Dream gives us something for
which we can hope.
MEMORIZE the *&$^%#&*^ difference:
Its / it s
Its = belonging to it
It s = It is
Their / they re / there
Their = belonging to them
They re = They are
There = not here, but there
your / you re
Your = belonging to you
You re = You are
then / than
Then = then and now
Than = She talks faster than I do.
woman / women
Woman = 1 female
Women = 2+ females
fewer / less
fewer = used for nouns you can COUNT (fewer
dogs, fewer students, fewer dreams)
less = used for nouns you cannot count (for
concepts, ideas)
(less money, less freedom, less idealism)
amount / number
amount = used for nouns you cannot count (a
large amount of traffic, a small amount of time)
number = used for nouns you can COUNT (a
number of people, a number of cats)
Avoid overly wordy expressions and colloquialisms and nonsense words:
Avoid:
Use instead:
Due to / Due to the fact that
Because or because of
Thing
use a specific noun to identify what you are
discussing
Specially [not a word]
Especially
Eachother [not a word]
Each other
Alot / a lot
Much, many
alright / all right
Acceptable, adequate, fine (depends on context)
amongst / whilst
among / while (you are not British and you do
not speak British English)
etc.
Do not use in formal writing EVER.
now a days / now in days / now and days
nowadays
you
one (and make sure that subsequent pronouns
agree in number - don't use "one" and "their" or
"one" and "they" together
meaning that
When you use this phrase, you are restating
whatever came before - it is repetitive and a
sign of rough, imprecise writing. Say it once
and well.
massive, huge
large, great
Quotes MUST BE INTEGRATED. The bulk of any sentence should be YOUR words. No
quote should be its own freestanding sentence in your essay - EVER.
Incorrect
Correct
Anyone can achieve upward social mobility,
wealth, and stability. "It lies in the hopes of a
single mother struggling on a minimum wage
job to build a better life for herself and her
children."
Anyone can achieve upward social mobility and
move from "a minimum wage job to build a
better life" for oneself and one's children.
As explained in Wilson's book, "The American The American Dream can be "liberating" to
Dream is joyously liberating in its message that people, as it gives them the idea that they
people may aspire to control their own destiny." "control their own destiny" (Wilson 124).
Do NOT use get or any of its progeny:
NO-NOs:
get
got
getting
gotten
had gotten
had been getting
to get
Formatting:
Indent the first line of EACH paragraph five spaces.
Double-space (not single space, not 1.5 space) your ENTIRE ESSAY, including the WORKS
CITED page
Use Times New Roman 12 point font for everything (do not make your title bigger)
Make certain that you are following the MLA conventions for IN-TEXT CITATIONS and your
WORKS CITED page
There should be only ONE REGULAR DOUBLE-SPACE RETURN separating paragraphs ‒ no
giant gaps between paragraphs.
Cite The Great Gatsby in your essay and as part of your Works Cited page.
Your Works Cited should be ALPHABETIZED!
Book titles, magazine titles, scholarly journal titles are UNDERLINED only (not bolded, no
quotation marks). Magazine articles, essays, journal articles are in quotation marks.
Punctuation:
When you are quoting, the punctuation mark USUALLY goes INSIDE the quotation mark.
Incorrect
Correct
He said, I intend to start a new life .
He said, I intend to start a new life.
She asked, Do you want some water ?
She asked, Do you want some water?
My grandparents believed in the American
Dream , and I believe in it, too.
My grandparents believed in the American
Dream, and I believe in it, too.
BUT
Incorrect
Correct
When Adams coined the term "American
Dream", he called that dream a "life [that]
should be richer and fuller for everyone."
(Adams 134)
When Adams coined the term "American
Dream," he called that dream a "life [that]
should be richer and fuller for everyone"
(Adams 134).
When Adams coined the term "American
Dream," he called that dream a "life [that]
should be richer and fuller for everyone." (The
Epic of America 134)
When Adams coined the term "American
Dream," he called that dream a "life [that]
should be richer and fuller for everyone."
(Adams 134)