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Halloween Screams
A Comic Thriller in Two Acts
by L. Don Swartz
A Samuel French Acting Edition
samuelfrench.com
Copyright © 1995 by L. Don Swartz
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To my wife
Debby Koszelak Swam
with all my love
for believing in me and all my
Halloween Dreams.
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
CHARACTERS
MEG:
(twenty-something) • The group's lead actress. Gentle, smart
energetic.
BRIAN:
(twenty-something) The group's comic character actor. Loves
to agitate others when he's not thinking about sex.
JUSTfNE:
(twenty-something) The group's melo-dramatic character
actress. A bit high-strung. Theatrical in all she does.
CHRIS:
(twenty-something) The group's leader. Born to p lay
Shakespeare. Intense, sometimes humorless. Ideal straightman.
WENDELL:
(twenty-something) Theatre leckie, and all that implies.
Serious, skeptical, totally unaware that he often appears
comical to others.
SAM:
(adult) A him or her. The Director of the Chestnut Hollow
Youth Center. The Voice ofthe Community Center.
REUBEN JONES:
(30-40ish) A janitor with an attitude.
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
CHARACTERS
(continued)
TIM&TOM:
(teens) They spend way too much time watching MTV.
MRS. GROBOWSKI:
(40-60ish) Town busybody. She has dedicated herself to
ridding Chestnut Hollow ofHalloween and all smutty-minded
Thespians.
CASSIE JONES:
{pre-teen/younger) A sweet little girl with a dark secret.
EXTRAS:
Pre-teens and teens to set up and run the Haunted House.
Plus, extras of all-ages to portray patrons of the Haunted
House.
• The twenty-something crowd could be played younger or
older.
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS was originally produced by the
Ghostlight Theatre Company at the historic Riviera Theatre
in North Tonawanda, New York, on October 27, 1994. It was
directed by Debby Koszelak Swartz, with set and lighting
design by Daniel W. Sonnen. The cast in order of appearance,
was as follows:
MEG ................. Heather O' Toole
BRIAN .................... Don Swartz
JUSTINE ....... .... ....... Julie Senko
CHRIS ................... Jesse Swartz
WENDELL .............. Bob Tomasini
SAM ... ...... .. Debby Koszelak Swartz
REUBEN JONES . ....... Carl Tamburlin
TIM ................... David Bondrow
TOM .... .. ........... Stephen Holesko
MRS. GROBOWSKI .. . . ... Joan Hitzges
CASSIE JONES ..... ... .. Justine Swartz
also with:
David Mascellino, Jason Cochran, Jill Domingo,
Daniel Barrett, Kristy Faulhaber, Sara Kukulka,
Jennifer Lipps, Matthew Brick,
Timothy Keith Lipps, Carla Penque
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
SETTING
The basement of the
Chestnut Hollow Community Center
TIME
October Present
ACfONE
Scene 1: October first. Night
Scene 2: One week later. Night
Scene 3: Two weeks later.
ACT TWO
Scene 1: Halloween. Night
Scene 2: One hour later.
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
9
ACfl
Scene 1
SETIING:
The Chestnut Hollow Community Center. A dark section ofa
basement in an old public school building. The air is dusty
and the corners are thick with shadows. Along the upstage
wall ofthe basement is a long wooden flight of steps that
leads to the first floor. Under the stairway is a dark
opening that leads to the school's boiler room. There is a
tiny doorway set deeply into the stone, stage right, which
leads to the tunnels that run under the school. A bathroom
door is located down stage left. This portion of the school
basement is curiously empty. There are no shelves, and the
cellar has none of the clutter one might expect to find in a
community building's basement.
AT RISE:
October First. Evening. A strange flute music is playing. The
lights in the basement are on and a little girl in white is
slowly dancing to the music. She appears to be in a trance.
We hear the jangle of many keys on a key ring. The little
girl turns off the lights at the switch at the bottom of the
stairs and disappears into the boiler room. The door at the
top of the stairs opens. A shadowy FIGURE enters and
shuts the door. He clicks on a flashlight. Coming down the
basemen.t, THE FIGURE crosses to the bathroom door,
opens the door and shines his flashlight inside. He closes
the bathroom door and crosses to the small door stage
right. He discovers that this door is locked. THE FIGURE
10
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
begins to try the various keys on the massive key ring he is
carrying. He hears someone trying to unlock the door on
the landing. THE FIGURE clicks off his flashlight. We
hear the basement door at the top ofthe stairs swing open.
Somebody flips on the light switch. MEG, a young lady of
twenty-something, appears at the top of the stairs and
scans the basement space. THE FIGURE is gone. She
smiles and begins walking down the steps. She crosses to
the little door stage right and tries to open it. Discovering
that the door is locked, she Irks her keys. None ofthem will
open the door. She hears a noise in the bathroom, stage
left. As she crosses to the bathroom door, the sound of
water running full blast into an industrial sink becomes
louder. And louder. She enters the bathroom cautiously. A
moment later the sound of the water stops. MEG returns
from the bathroom, wiping her hands on a paper towel.
She turns and looks into the bathroom one last time and
shrugs her shoulders. She crosses down stage center and
begins to make some mental notes ofthe basement layout.
THE FIGURE steps out from under the stairs. In the light
we can see that he is dressed all in black and wears a ski
mask. He raises a bloody hatchet over his head. MEG
whirls around and comes face to face with THE FIGURE.
MEG: (Screaming suddenly) No! (She instinctively
launches herself into a self-defense attack mode. THE
FIGURE throws his hatchet to the floor and with a high
pitched shriek, he dashes stage right where he cowers against
the little door. MEG follows him, still screaming at him) No!
No! No! Nooooooooo!
T HE FIGURE: Don't hurt me! Don 't hurt me! Meg, it's me,
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
II
Brian! Really, it was a joke! Look, it's me!
(HE removes the ski mas/c.)
MEG: Brian? Oh, Brian. I'm so glad it's you! I thought . . .
Brian! You idiot! What were you trying to do?
BRIAN: Just a little Halloween joke to put you in the mood.
God, you beast! I guess you did deserve that "A" you got in
your self-defense class, Jeesh. Now I know why you and
Chris never argue. He's scared ofya.
MEG: I can' t believe you! This time you've gone too far! I
could have killed you! Or, what if I had a heart attack? What
if your stupidity triggered a stroke? Did you ever stop to think
of that? No! Because you don't think! You're incapable of
thinking! My God! You know what I' m asking myself right
this minute? I'm standing here asking myself what kind of
blithering ass pulls a stunt like this? There is something
drastically wrong with you! You need help. I'm serious. I
really think you need therapy. (Someone knocks on the
basement door. MEG scoops up the hatchet and tosses it to
BRIAN) Quick! Hide! Someone is coming!
(BRIAN quic/c/y dons the ski maslc and disappears under the
steps. MEG hides in the bathroom)
JusTINE: (Knocking on the door) Hello? Hello? Is anybody
here yet? (She opens the door and begins walking down the
steps) Hmmm. The door's open. (She steps onto the basement
floor. JUSTINE is in her twenties, a little younger than MEG)
Yo! Anybody here yet? (She looks around) Funny. I thought
I heard voices. And the lights are on. (She shrugs and looks
12
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
at her watch. She crosses down stage center) Hello? Chris?
Brian? Meg?
{BRIAN leaps out at her from . under the steps. JUSTINE
whirls on him and begins to scream. And scream. She
places her hands on the side ofher head and sinks to her
knees, hysterically crying. She sobs and sobs)
BRIAN: (Removing the mask) Justine. Justine. It's okay. It's
me. Look, it's Brian. (JUSTINE looks up at him and sobs
louder. He bends the hatchet blade back and forth) See?
Plastic. Just plastic. Just a joke. (She sobs louder. BRIAN
throws the hatchet to the floor) Aw, the hell with it!
(MEG comes out of the bathroom and touches JUSTINE on
the shoulder - she continues to wail)
MEG: (Trying to comfort her) Come on, Justine. It's going
to be okay. It's just another one of Brian's stupid practical
jokes.
(Someone begins to turn the knob ofthe basement door)
JusTINE: (Still crying, she scoops up the hatchet and tosses
it to BRIAN) Quick, hide! Someone's coming!
MEG: It's Chris. He knows I'm here. You guys hide! (MEG
runs to the bottom of the stairs, pushing JUSTINE into the
bathroom as she goes. BRIAN ducks under the stairs again.
CHRIS enters} Hi Honey! Aint this great?
CHRJs: (Looking around) Awesome. This is gonna be the
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
13
best yet.
(He comes down the steps and kisses her. CHRIS, the leader
ofthe group, is in his late twenties)
MEG: How was your day?
CHRis: Okay. Yours?
MEG: Okay. Hey, check this out - we even have a
bathroom.
CHRis: Yeah ... Reuben said there was a working bathroom
down here. (He crosses to the bathroom. JUSTINE leaps out
at him and begins to sob. CHRIS stares at her blankly)
Justine. You gonna be alright? (She nods her head)
Somebody really scared you, didn ' t they? (She nods her
head) Maybe you shouldn't work the haunted house this year.
We have plenty of help.
JusTINE: (Between sobs) No ... I want to. I like being scared.
CHRis: Well ... if you're sure you can handle it.
JusTINE: I'll be fine. Really, I will.
MEG: {Setting him up) Chris, do you have a key for this
door? It's locked.
CHRis: You have my keys.
MEG: I know. I tried them- but none of them work.
CHRIS: Let me try. (As he crosses to her, BRIAN, with a
loud yell, lunges at him. CHRIS simply stares at him for a
moment) I have nothing to say to you Brian - so just back off.
BRIAN: I am not Brian!
CHRis: Brian, cut the crap. I don't want to have to hurt you.
BRIAN: How did you know it was me?
CHRJs: I smelled you when I first came in.
BRIAN: (Pulling offhis mask, he sniffs himse/fj I don't stink.
14
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
Hey, somebody forgot to take his Happy Pill this morning!
What's the matter with Baby? Come on, you can tell me ...
come on.
CHJUs: You really don't know- do you? Okay. I'll help you
figure it out. What is today?
BRIAN: (Counts to himself) October the first?
CHJUs: Bingo!
BRIAN: We missed Bingo?
CHRIS: No, Brian! It's the first of the month. And what
happens the ftrst of every month?
BRIAN: You get cranky and irritable.
CHRis: Yeah, okay ... you're right ... I do get cranky and
irritable. And why? Because you never have your half of the
rent!
BRIAN: Oh. So this is .what it's about. Here we go again!
The same old story. How many times are you gonna keep
throwing this in my face? Huh?! How many times?
CHRis: Every thirty days.
BRIAN: (fo MEG) How do you put up with this tyrant?
(She smiles)
CHJUs: I mean it this time. If you don't have the money by
tonight ... that's it. You're out on the street.
BRIAN: You can't throw me out.
CHRis: Oh yeah? Why not?
BRIAN: I'll tell Mommy on you.
CHRIS: Who do you think gave me the idea?
BRIAN: (fo MEG) You see how they gang up on me? Okay
... calm yourself. You'll have your precious money by tonight.
On my way home I' II stop at the hospital and auction off my
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
15
spleen.
CHRis: Whatever it takes.
BRIAN: (To no one in particular) And he wonders why
everyone thinks I' m the nice brother.
CHRis: Okay ... let's get this meeting started. Where's
Wendell?
MEG: He's not here yet.
JusTINE: What time did you tell him the meeting started?
CHRis: 7:00.
JusTINE: (Looking at her watch) It's only ten after. When
you tell Wendell the meeting's at 7:00, that's the time he
leaves his house. If you wanted him here at 7:00, you should
have told him the meeting was at 6:45.
CHRis: Oh, right.
MEG: (Looking at her watch) He' ll come running in here
any second now complaining about the time warp that exists
between his house and the center.
CHRis: Has anyone ever tried to explain it to him?
{They a// laugh)
BRIAN: You' re a funny, funny man, Chris. I've always said
so. (They hear frantic running overhead) That would be him
... right about now!
CHRIS: Quick, hide! We' ll scare him!
(They all bump into each other a few times until they
eventually cram themselves u~der the stairs. The door
bursts open and WENDELL dashes in. He wears work
boots, faded jeans, an old flannel shirt and a tool belt
around his waist)
16
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
WENDELL: (Looking at his watch) Damn that time warp! It
got me again. Trapped like a .rat in the gaping black hole of
Time.
BRIAN: (Quietly) What about the gaping black hole
between his ears?
Cloos: Sssssh!
(WENDELL shrugs his shoulders and hurries down the stairs.
He crosses directly to the gang under the steps)
WENDELL: Hey, everyone. Sorry I' m late. (He wedges his
body in with the others ... smiling in turn at each one) Well ...
you can start the meeting now.
(!'hey struggle for a minute, everyone trying to get out from
under the stairs)
CHRis: Spread out!
Brian: (Removing his mask) Hey, Buck Rogers ... why are
you wearing your holster? This is only a meeting.
WENDELL: My Uncle Thadius taught me some very wise
words that I try to live by. I still remember the day he took me
up on his knee and said " Wendell, always be prepared".
JusrJNE: That would be the Boy Scouts.
WENDELL: Yes he was ... thanks for remembering.
CHRis: Now, can we start the meeting? (!'he girls sit on the
stairs. BRIAN crosses to the industrial drum in the corner and
wheeling it closer to the others, sits on top ofit) Okay, as you
know, this year the Youth Center is letting us use the
basement for the haunted house.
MEG: The basement's never been used before for the
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
17
haunted house ... has it?
CHius: Nope. This will be the frrst time.
BRJAN: By the looks of it - it doesn' t get used for much of
anything.
MEG: I know. All the groups in the community center are
screaming for more space and here is this big empty
basement.
CHRis: Sam said that this part of the basement is reserved
for maintenance. They were even talking about putting an
office down here for Reuben. I guess he didn't want one.
JusTINE: That's strange. He's got a tiny desk crammed into
a closet on the second floor.
CHRis: Yeah, he's weird. Since nobody needs this part of
the basement, we can leave our stuff set up year round. Then
we' ll have more space in our set storage room.
WENDELL: We can always use more space.
MEG: Have any ideas about the set up?
CHRis: Well, Sam said she plans on having the people enter
the building on the north side and climb the stairs to the third
floor and work their way down through our area and exit
through this little door right here.
JusTINE: Where does this door lead to?
CHRis: It goes to the tunnel that runs underneath the school.
The people will be lead through the tunnel ... which is scary
enough just as it is ... and come out by the parking lot side of
the building ... right where they parked their cars.
WENDELL: Well planned. Very efficient.
Mro: (Smiling) So, we' ll be the last thing they see!
BRIAN: That's right! Save the best for last.
JusTINE: Well, why not? Year after year we're always the
highlight of the Haunted House.
18
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
MEG: You got to admit it, it's a lot easier for us with all our
theatre sets and technical equipment. The other groups don't
have those kind of resources.
BRIAN: We're the best. Learn to live with it like I have.
Everybody always says that our part of the haunted house
alone, is worth the price of admission.
CHRIS: Wendell, what can you tell us about this locked
tunnel door?
(The others gather around WENDELL as he is speaking)
WENDELL: (With great authority) Alrighty. This here is the
entrance to the main tunnel system that networks beneath the
entire school structure. And this is the door which allows
passage to and fro from this particular portion of the
basement. (He tries the knob) Currently it appears to be
locked.
BRIAN: How does he do it?
CHRis: What about a key?
WENDELL: Well, you see, a key is the traditional device ...
CHRIS: Wendell, I know what a key is! I want to know
where I can get a key for this door! Oh, nevermind, I'll go
find Reuben and get a key from him.
WENDELL: (With a big smile) Way ahead of you, Chris. I
already spoke to Reuben and he said he'd try and find a key
for us and he'd bring it down. He's looking for it as we speak.
CHRis: You mean he doesn't have one? (WENDELL shrugs
his shoulders) Okay. While we're waiting ... anybody have
any inspirations about what we can do with this space?
JusTrNE: I think we should really try and avoid that
cluttered mess we had on the second floor last year. It was too
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
19
crowded and un-focused.
MEG: Yeah. We should concentrate on only a few
attractions.
CHRIS: That's good.
BRIAN: This space says to me ... Dungeon! A Torture
Chamber! The Pit! The Pendulum! Rat cages! Thumb screws!
Chinese water torture! (He gets CHRIS in a headlock) The
stockade! Prisoners writhing in pain, their agonized screams
piercing the ear drums of all who dare to come down here!
(He screams)
CHRIS: No can do. The Golden Agers are doing a Torture
Chamber.
BRIAN: (releasing his brother's head) Again? (CHRIS nods
his head) That's just sad. This year I hope they don't put
Granny back on the rack. She's taller than me now.
CHRIS: Brian!
BRIAN: It's true.
JuSTINE: And poor Mrs. Splugoiten. Remember last year
how her head got stuck in the vice and she had to wear it back
to the home?
CHRis: Well, the Seniors have already claimed the
dungeon. We gotta think of something else.
Mro: I know! How about Dr. Frankenstein's laboratory?
CHRis: No, the Youth Center is doing a tribute to all the
classic film monsters. They've already got a Frankenstein Jab
planned.
BRIAN: Hey! I got it! Any of the groups doing anything
about The Hatchetman?
CHRis: I don' t think so. Justine, did you get a chance to
20
HALLOWEEN SCREAMS
look into that for us?
JusTINE: Yeah. Sam said the Youth Center wouldn' t touch
~t because the real murders are only two years old. The rec.
department said it would be in poor taste. The Golden Agers
were shocked that I even asked about it Neighborhood Watch
said they can't imagine that any of the groups would be
irresponsible enough to present anything concerning a real
serial murderer who killed ten Chestnut Hollow citizens.
BRIAN: Excellent! Let's do it!
WENDELL: Sounds good to me.
CHRIS: I don't know. The other groups may be right.
Maybe we shouldn't get into that.
BRIAN: Come on! What's the big deal! It' s been two years.
Besides ... everyone knows that it really happened! That
makes it all the more scary!
JusTINE: Yeah. Movies do it. Somebody kills a bunch of
people in October and it's a miniseries in February.
CHRis: What about the families of the victims? Did you
think about them? How'd they feel if we glamorize the
homicidal maniac who mutilated their loved ones in our
Haunted House? Stop and think. What' s that gonna do to
them?
BRIAN: We could send them free tickets.
WENDELL: If memory serves, wasn't one of the victim's
found in the abandoned high school on the River Road?
BRIAN: Yes! Yes! Yes! The headless corpse ... number nine
I believe, was discovered in the basement of the old school in
the boiler room floating in a puddle of his own blood! It's
perfect! Me! Me! Pick me! Let me be The Hatchetman!
CHRIS: Okay ... if we decide to do it, you can be The
Hatchetman, but ... this year they' ll be no physical contact
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