make copy shine by

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COPY
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Copyright 2014 by Walsworth Yearbooks
All rights reserved. This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without written
permission from the publisher.
Published in the United States of America by Walsworth Inc., Marceline, Mo.
Corporate Office: 306 North Kansas Ave., Marceline, MO 64658
800-265-6795
Yearbook Sales and Marketing Office: 7300 West 110th Street, Suite 600, Overland Park, KS 66210
800-369-2965
For more information about this curriculum guide or any other Walsworth products and
services, visit walsworthyearbooks.com or call 800-972-4968.
Acknowledgments
Sabrina Schmitz, Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative, and unit author
Alex Blackwell, Vice President of Communications and Marketing
Kristin Mateski, Manager, Yearbook Marketing
Jamie Chambers, Design and Creative Concepting Supervisor
Amy Spears, Senior Graphic Designer
Elizabeth Braden, CJE, Communications Editor
Evan Blackwell, Copywriter
T. Edward “Blaze” Hayes, Area Sales Manager
Mike Taylor, Journalism Specialist
Consultant
Valerie Tanke, CJE, Walsworth Yearbooks Sales Representative
Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 2
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e
hmitzs Representativ
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By S orth Yearboo
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Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 3
R
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Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine by Editing
Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 4
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Y
B
E
N
I
H
S
PY
O
C
E
MAK ITING
ED
The long-awaited day has finally arrived. The yearbook is being delivered and
every staffer anxiously waits to tear into those boxes and break the binding on
their precious publication. All the sleepless nights, last-minute photo-ops and
computer blindness have all been for this moment — seeing the satisfied look on
the faces of your peers. You hand out your pride and joy to a student and watch
them walk away smiling, but then they stop… turn… and head back to you.
You know what comes next.
“You spelled my name wrong.”
“Do you know you spelled varsity wrong?”
“That’s not what grade I’m in.”
Maybe the perfect publication is a pipe dream. There is just too much to do
in such a short time to make sure everything has been copy-edited and factchecked. However, no matter the excuses we make, this fact remains: errors
diminish credibility and journalistic integrity.
How can we be trusted to tell a student’s emotional tale or accurately document
the history of a school year if we can’t spell the word “success” correctly?
You can’t learn to edit copy overnight. It is an art that is learned and acquired
over time with practice.
To get started, we need to look at the foundation for building an insightful eye
for copy-editing by examining the following areas:
SUBJECTIVE EDITING
OBJECTIVE EDITING
Editing for the big picture
Editing for the small details
Reading your work for clarity
and quality
—
Reading
Editing your
for the
work
small
for details
polish
and mechanics
Lesson 1: Assessing the Story
Lesson 2: Leads and Language
Lesson 3: Editorializing
Lesson 4: Quotes and Transitions
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Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 1
Lesson 5: Copy-Editing Marks
Lesson 6: AP Style Rules
Lesson 7: The Editing Process
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Lesson 1
Assessing the Story
Objectives – In this lesson, you will:
Learn to read through copy to first assess what
it needs in terms of information and editing
Learn to look for angles in stories
When someone is injured and paramedics arrive
at the scene, their first responsibility is to assess
the situation. They must determine the nature and
severity of the problem before they ever go into action.
Begin to practice questioning every word and
sentence in a story for accuracy, grammar,
spelling and punctuation
The same is true of copy editing. Before we jump in with our red pens and
bleed comments and editing marks all over someone’s hard work, we must
first diagnose the piece.
Allow your mind to roam freely over the story and see what you react
to. Your original thoughts may be jumbled and confused, but you can
organize them later. Edit for the “big picture” first, because if the story lacks
a message and focus, then it doesn’t much matter if a few words are
misspelled.
GET READY:
The best editors are those who continually expose themselves to
quality writing. By constantly reading good writing, a copy editor learns what
to expect when editing. Editors need to internalize the qualities of strongly
written pieces, so they can identify the weaknesses in the writing in front of
them.
The best editors are also writers. How can you expect to edit a story and
advise a reporter on how to best fix it if you are not going through the
same struggles? Writing is not a black-and-white operation and neither is
editing. It is complicated and the only way for an editor to be effective is to
understand what it is like to be on both sides of the process.
2
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GET IN THE MINDSET: A keen editorial eye is obsessive. The savvy editor has
the mind of a perfectionist — no small error should be left unaddressed and no
comment should be left unchecked.
GET STARTED:
Read through the story once without making a single mark. Allow
yourself to see it through the eyes of the audience. Note your initial reactions
and questions.
• How did you feel after reading it?
• What message did you take away from the story?
Remember, the best writing is invisible. If the piece is well-written, the ideas
will suit the story so well that the message, not the language, will make an
impression.
DETERMINE THE DAMAGE
After the first read-through, determine the severity of the situation. Is this editing
process going to be a walk in the park or is this story on life support and in need
of a ton of attention? Are a few word choice corrections going to solve the
problem, or do we need to go back to the drawing board and re-organize it
entirely? Are small fixes enough or will it need a complete overhaul? Figure this
out upfront so you can prepare accordingly.
GET INQUISITIVE: After reading through the story once and jotting notes about
your initial reactions, it is time to establish the internal monologue. Read the
piece again and have a conversation with it, as though the story is speaking
and you are answering.
• What questions does the story pose?
• What parts are confusing/clear?
• Am I reacting positively or negatively? Why?
• What does this mean?
• Why would he/she do this?
• Why should anyone care about this?
• Why is this important?
• What are they really trying to say?
• What/who is the source of the information?
• Are the facts correct?
• Are there multiple sources?
• Does the story meet the staff’s guidelines and goals?
Think of it as revision — revision literally means “seeing again.” This time through,
try to see the story in as many different ways as possible.
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Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 3
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
...................................................................................................
.....................
ASSESS
THE STORY
Read through the
story below once
to get your initial
reaction and then
re-read to question
the piece. Write
questions that come
to mind as you read.
Use the questions
listed on the
preceding page to
help you get started.
As Julia Hudson sat in her room, she listened to music while
trying not to absorb the chaos that protruded through the
walls. Leaving her troubled past behind her, Hudson learned
tricks to balancing family and school-related stress.
BothHudsonandAshleeValekenteredamindsetfilledwith
hope and took away a new outlook on life after overcoming
difficultlifesituations.
With below average grades and violent experiences, Valek
chose what to do next in her life.
“IgotintoafightrightbeforeIwentthere,andtheywere
talking about how I need to go to a different school because
I was causing such problems, and I had a choice of whether I stayed here or I
went to PACE,” Valek said.
Along with the struggle of the decision to change schools, Valek dealt with a
loss in her family.
“My little cousin just passed away, and that made me want to change because
life can end at any time, and I don’t want to waste my time having fun. I want
to do something worthwhile,” Valek said.
This pushed Valek to attend the Practical Academic and Cultural Education
(PACE) Center for Girls, a place that helped individuals learn responsibility and
gain self-esteem.
“They assigned me a counselor for anger management, and I talked to her
about everything,” Valek said.
With the help her counselor provided, Valek gained skills to help her in life.
“I learned a lot more skills on how important it is to turn your homework in and
to graduate on time, instead of thinking the GED is the only way out of high
school,” Valek said.
Hudson, another student who aspired to change her life, dealt with her own
issues.
“I just have the typical teenage problems with who I am, and having to take
care of my family when I need to be taking care of myself, and having to be
strong,” Hudson said.
4
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........................................................................................................................
Although Hudson struggled with personal problems, she hoped to set an
example for others. The beginning of her public speaking passion all boiled
down to sharing what seems important to her and giving others advice.
“I would never want anyone to cope with their problems in distorted ways
through substance abuse, unhealthy relationships or anything. I want to help
people,” Hudson said.
As Hudson shared her experience with local community organizations, she
gained a new perspective on life as well as insight on herself.
“I have accepted more of myself. I have even more things to rely on for the
future and even more things to be excited for. It gives me a drive,” Hudson said.
Both Valek and Hudson once struggled with personal battles, violence, and
family problems. However, relying on their own drive, they both created for
themselves a better future.
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 5
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GET THE ANGLE ESTABLISHED: After reading through the story twice, the
message or angle of the story should be clear.
• Make sure the angle is strong.
• Is it an approach that has been done before?
• Stories just about something “new” won’t cut it — what about the
something “new” is worth writing about?
• Is the angle specific enough?
• Is it focused on people?
DISCUSS ANGLES
If you assess the angle of the story and find it to be weak, start by talking to the
writer.
• Listen to the writer.
• Urge the writer to put their interview and notes away and just tell the story.
• Let them talk about the subject and see if you can find the angle in their
explanation.
• Ask them to write a headline for the piece if they haven’t already. If it is
too difficult to find a headline that works, the angle is probably still
unfocused and vague.
ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
CREATE AN
List all the ideas in the story as branches.
Next, determine what the trunk of the tree
should be. What is anchoring all these
ideas together?
Now, redirect the other ideas in the
branches to connect back to the trunk.
If a branch idea has no connection to
the trunk, cut it off. It will only weigh
down the rest of your tree.
Now, fill out your own angle tree on the
next page.
6
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ANGLE TREE
jured
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Runningt for season
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The
Starting tight-end
football injured in first game
team
dealt
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full of
‘comebacks’
Yearbook Suite | Make Copy Shine by Editing
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Your Name:
...............................
Lesson 1
................................
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
........... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .......................................................... ..............................
4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I can demonstrate the mindset of a copy editor and how to begin the copy-editing process.
I can...
a. analyze a story for the central message and can question the piece
for clarity and meaning
Be
wa at Anc
sn’t
l
supote an
pos d
ed
to
b. identify and help strengthen weak angles
I can demonstrate the qualities of a keen copy editor and understand the level of focus and
attention to detail required to edit effectively.
2.0
1.0
I can get started on the copy-editing process, but struggle to identify angles and am unsure how
to analyze the quality of a story.
jured
back in
Running for season
d out
anstart.
I still don’t understand how to begin editing copy or where to
walsworthyearbooks.com
Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 7
Be
in at L
las ec
t 2 an
mi to
nu
tes
The
footballMake Copy Shine by Editing
team
dealt
with a
season
| Yearbook Suite
7
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Lesson 2
Leads and
Language
Objectives – In this lesson you will:
Learn to use active verbs and descriptive nouns
to make leads stronger
Discover weak vocabulary that should be
When the Roman aqueducts were built in the
avoided in writing
first century to keep water flowing to the city,
they were built at a precise angle. Too steep of an
incline and the water would have flooded the houses; not steep enough and
the water would have stagnated. The Romans worked to get the incline exactly
right, or the entire operation would have been a catastrophe.
A similar situation occurs when choosing the words you will use to convey a story.
Words are powerful when you take the time to be precise and choose the exact
ones. Just throwing in “good-enough” words will either muddy your message or
create stale, watered-down copy. “Right” and “almost-right” are worlds apart.
It’s time to edit out the superfluous language and the almost-right words and find
the perfect word that best says what you are trying to say. If you can successfully
edit the language of a piece, the story will flow naturally and clearly.
POWER OF THE FIRST WORD
First impressions are everything. Think about meeting someone for the first time.
We spend time putting together the best outfit and thinking of interesting things
to share. We want to appear exciting and intriguing.
So what better place to start editing word choices than the first word? Starting
a story with the word “students” is the equivalent of wearing sweatpants on a
first date. The first word of a story is the first impression to the reader. It is going to
tell the reader what kind of story they are in for and may help them determine
whether it is worth it to keep reading. Therefore, you must edit to make sure that
a powerful word or phrase is used up front to create impact from the beginning.
• Figure out what words in the lead you can bring to the front of the
sentence to set a good tone and high energy level to the writing.
• Get to the impact verb quickly.
• Beware of vague and ambiguous terms or words.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
DULL WORD
SEARCH
Look at past yearbooks and identify dull
sentence starters to avoid in the future. Create
your own list and post in the classroom. Here are
some to start with:
STUDENTS
.......................................................
TEACHERS
.......................................................
ADMINISTRATORS
.......................................................
TEAM
NAMES
.......................................................
ACADEMIC
SUBJECTS
.......................................................
ARTICLES
LIKE A, AN, THE
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
EDITING LEADS
Nothing is better than when you read the first sentence of a story and you feel hooked.
There is a feeling of peace knowing that the writer has done their job in conveying a
clear message that you won’t have to work to understand and an excitement that
makes you antsy to get to the next sentence.
“It started with the bass and the drum. Then the music changed to a darker, electronic
sounding synthesizer and right when the song seemed to slow down… it dropped.”
That’s a good lead. This story was about the trend of Dubstep music, and it creates
interest while leaving the reader wanting to know more.
You can usually tell when leads are working well. The question is how do you identify
when a lead is weak, and then how do you fix it? Before tearing into the lead, consider
these questions and determine if the writer has addressed them.
• Is there a scene, fact, event or emotion that stands out in the story?
• Is there a way to highlight this in the lead and then work the story from there?
• What is the tone of the story?
• What is the angle?
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LEADS THAT LACK INTEREST
EXAMPLE: Students struggle to keep their phones charged because they are
always using their apps.
TRY THIS:
Use a shock or suspended interest lead style.
BETTER: Dead within hours. Cell phone batteries continue to drain faster as
students struggle with a growing addiction to apps.
LEADS THAT LACK ENERGY
EXAMPLE: FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) members prepared to
take part in the annual state-wide competition that took place in December.
TRY THIS:
Try a narrative or descriptive style to humanize this lead and
make it more engaging. The lead above reads more like a
hard news style summary lead.
BETTER: The eyes of competitors locked as the tension thickened with each
glance and glare. Sitting among their rivals as 30 minutes ticked by, FBLA
members nervously awaited the call to present.
LEADS THAT MAY LACK CREATIVITY
The following example leads can work, but more often than not end up
being used when the writer couldn’t think of anything else. Keep an eye
open for these lead types. If they are not original or engaging, the writer
may need to try again.
QUOTE LEAD: “We had a great year, and we really bonded as a team.”
QUESTION LEAD: Do you know what happened in the English department this
year?
IMAGINE LEAD (JOHN LENNON LEAD): Imagine walking into the gym for the last
time and hearing your name ring through the sound system.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
WRITE STRONGER
LEADS
Identify the problem with the lead. Rewrite these leads
into strong attention-grabbing leads.
1. Students chose different styles to express their individual personalities.
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
2. On Friday, Sept. 24, five new teachers will be presented at an assembly.
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
3. Social Inclusion club members worked to make special needs students feel
involved in campus activities by building relationships with them.
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
4. Imagine getting a test and realizing that you had studied the wrong material.
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
5. How would you feel if you missed the game-winning layup during the District
Championship basketball game?
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
...................................................................................................................
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TRIMMING DOWN
No one likes the Department of Redundancy Department.
We are only given so many column inches to convey our story. Because our
verbal real estate is limited, every word must be painstakingly chosen and
extra words or phrases must be eliminated. It is not how long the story is that
determines its strength, it is the quality of the piece. Editing will help the piece
focus on the angle and maintain clarity.
Also remember to avoid using clichés. By definition, clichés are overused phrases
that are boring and have no place in writing. Edit out these trite phrases.
ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
REMOVE REPETITIVE
WORDS
Beware of these common offenders of superfluous
language. Circle or highlight the repetitive language
in each sentence. Then, rewrite the sentence.
EXAMPLE: The forward progress of the program brought positive attention to the
school.
Breakdown — The word “progress” implies moving forward. To add “forward”
as an adjective is redundant. Deleting the word “forward” will not change the
meaning of the sentence and will add to its clarity.
1. Swim practice begins at 6:30 a.m. in the morning.
2. The new recruits for ROTC had to run the obstacle course.
3. The crowded mob rushed the field.
4. The students studied the past history of the Vietnam War.
5. She made sure that the notes were written down.
6. The team celebrated their victorious win.
7. He referred back to her textbook for the answer.
8. The committee members came to a mutual agreement.
9. There was a brief moment of peace before the storm hit during the festival.
10. An old antique trophy was stolen from the gym.
12
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ACTIVE VOICE VS. PASSIVE VOICE
Writing in active voice brings energy to your writing that passive voice cannot.
To keep your writing in active voice, remove all to-be verbs.
Know the difference between active and passive voice:
ACTIVE VOICE
PASSIVE VOICE
When a verb’s subject performs the action
expressed by the verb, the verb is in the active
voice.
When a verb’s subject receives the action
expressed by the verb, the verb is in the
passive voice.
My family bought a new home.
(The subject family performs the action.)
Homes are being sold by the builder.
(The subject homes receives the action.)
KNOW THE TO-BE VERBS
am
are
is
was
were
have
has
had
been
being
be
did
do
should
would
could
Know the strategies for editing out passive voice verbs:
1. Change the to-be verb to a strong verb.
Example: Tony is afraid of notebook checks.
Better: Tony fears notebook checks.
2. Eliminate the to-be verb by writing one or more showing sentences.
Example: Alligators are mean.
Better: The alligator lurched forward and thrashed about in the water the
moment the zookeeper approached, showing his razor sharp teeth and
snapping at every step the zookeeper took.
3. Combine sentences to eliminate the to-be verb.
Example: Theinefficienttimemanagerisunfulfilled.Heheadstobed,
disappointed,despitehavingfinishedhisto-dolist.
Better: Theinefficienttimemanagerheadstobed,unfulfilled,even
though he checked off everything on his un-prioritized to-do list.
4. Last two tips for dealing with to-be verbs.
•
Eliminate the entire sentence if its omission does not change the meaning
of the passage.
•
Leave the to-be verb if changing it alters the meaning, diminishes the
passage, or makes the structure unworkable.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
USING ACTIVE
VOICE
Rewrite these sentences using active verbs.
1. With one minute left in the game, a time-out was
called by the head coach of the opposing team.
...............................................................
2. For years, the varsity basketball team was the best in the state.
...................................................................................................................
3. French Club members took an active approach to educate their members in
a way that would interest them.
...................................................................................................................
4. Devon Martin found his motivation for restoration from his dad, who had
worked as a mechanic.
...................................................................................................................
5. Since this was the ecology club’s first big project, excitement arose among
members as they began to clean up the beach.
...................................................................................................................
6. As he walked through Starbucks for the second time that day, he was
greeted with very familiar faces.
...................................................................................................................
7. Despite protests from her parents, Jan Walker had traveled to the nail salon
to have her nails done every two weeks.
...................................................................................................................
8. The girls were filled with both fear and determination, knowing that this game
could change school history.
...................................................................................................................
9. Without new leadership, the boys’ varsity baseball players are struggling to
make it through each game.
...................................................................................................................
10.It is difficult for Sarah Jones to pay attention in class, but she has no trouble
focusing when it comes to playing tennis.
...................................................................................................................
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
DO
NOT
USE
LIST
Create a list of words and phrases to avoid in
writing. Start your list with these words.
ALL
PASSIVE VOICE VERBS (TO-BE VERBS)
....................................................... .......................................................
SCHOOL
NAME
....................................................... .......................................................
SCHOOL
MASCOT
....................................................... .......................................................
THIS
YEAR
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
.......................................................
Lesson 2
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
.............. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....................................................... ..............................
4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I can demonstrate how to both identify and fix weak leads and language in a story. I can...
a. apply knowledge of precise language and narrative techniques to
edit copy for clichés, passive voice verbs and superfluous language
b. use telling details and sensory language to create strong, attentiongrabbing feature leads
I can demonstrate an understanding of the importance of word choice and am able to edit copy
for confusing academic language.
2.0
I can identify weak leads and language, but I do not know how to fix them.
1.0
I don’t understand how to identify weak leads nor do I understand the role of word choice and
language in creating strong copy
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Yearbook Suite - Editing - Student JH.indd 15
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Lesson 3
Editorializing
Objective – In this lesson, you will:
Learn to locate opinions in stories and
remove them
In a world of selfies and constant Facebook
status updates where we can share every thought,
event or emotion with the world, it is no wonder it is difficult to keep editorializing
out of writing. We are so used to centering what we write and post around our own
thoughts, that writing without giving an opinion on a subject seems impossible.
But yearbook reporters are charged with telling someone else’s story. It is not
about the writer. Writers are simply the behind-the-scenes architects of the piece.
Think about it this way: If an architect builds and designs a skyscraper, do they get
a say on what the building is used for after it is built? They don’t own the building
and therefore it is not their place to comment, judge or advise on what happens
in the building after it is finished.
Our writing is no different. We may design the story, organize the information, and build
the overall message, but that does not mean we have earned the right to comment.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
ELIMINATING
......................................... ...............................................................................
OPINIONS
.......................................................................................................................
Look
for opinion adjectives in
.........................................
...............................................................................
previous yearbooks and list
them below. Consider these:
.......................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
BEAUTIFUL
SPECTACULAR
GRACEFULLY
TERRIFIC
........................................................................................................................
INTELLIGENTLY
UNPRECEDENTED
........................................................................................................................
OUTSTANDING
WONDERFUL
........................................................................................................................
SKILLFULLY
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
Look for opinion statements: Is there another side to the story? Could someone
have a different take on the issue? If so, there may be editorializing.
EDIT OUT THE EDITORIALIZING - SHOW, DON'T TELL:
Editorializing can generally be fixed by changing the statement from a “telling”
sentence to a “showing” sentence. If the detail is shown through accurate
description, the reader will get the message without being told an opinion
statement.
EXAMPLE:
Telling statement: ReginaPhillipswasnervoustoreceiveherfinalexamresults.
In the sentence above, the writer is telling the audience that Regina was
nervous. But how can the writer show this emotion instead? Was she sweating
or swearing? Was her forehead furrowed? Fingers crossed? Holding her breath?
How was she sitting? What was she saying? All of these details will help the writer
show the emotion.
Showing statement: Beads of sweat appeared on Regina Phillips’ forehead as
hershakinghandscrolleddowntheonlinegradebooktorevealherfinalexam
score.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
WRITE A
SHOWING STATEMENT
Telling statement: Camille Williams, the best player on the varsity volleyball team,
strutted onto the court.
Showing statement:
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
Telling statement: Tyler Smith was overjoyed to see his sister.
Showing statement:
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
How can these sentences be edited to be more specific? What details are
missing? Where is the editorializing?
Chase Kerr (’16) and Andrew Niro (’16) force a Central High School player to the
ground in a joint effort. Central took the lead in this close game as the clock ran
out, however the boys stayed strong on defense throughout the entire game.
“It was challenging playing against their defense, they ran great formations and
were one of the hardest teams to defend,” Niro said.
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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NOTES
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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Lesson 3
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
.............. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....................................................... ..............................
4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I can demonstrate an understanding of how to identify editorializing, and also how to edit it out of
copy. I can...
a. identify opinion adjectives in writing and can edit them out
b. use descriptive details to change telling statements into showing
statements
I can demonstrate an ability to maintain an objective tone while writing and can apply this to
copy editing.
2.0
I can identify editorializing, but still struggle with how to edit it out of copy.
1.0
I don’t understand what editorializing is or how to identify it in writing.
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Lesson 4
Quotes and
Transitions
Objectives – In this lesson you will:
Understand how to edit to make smooth transitions
between paragraphs to further the story
Transitions and quotes are the meat and
Learn to recognize quotes that add emotion to
potatoes of a story. They are the main event
the story, and remove or paraphrase quotes that
that holds the story together and moves the
do not
message along. However, editing this part of
a story can be tricky since its success relies
Understand how to edit copy so the transitions and
heavily on the interview and the information the
quotes are not just repeated in the copy
reporter gathered prior to writing. But no matter
the overall quality of the piece, there are a few
concrete items to look for when editing the body portion of a story.
HANDLING TRANSITIONS
The When Asked Transition
Be aware of the transition that attempts to transcribe the interview.
EXAMPLE: When asked how he felt about collecting items for the homeless, Trevor
Williams said he was humbled by it all and was grateful for the opportunity to help.
Better: Collecting items for those less fortunate humbled Trevor Williams and left
him feeling grateful for his station in life.
The Repeat Transition
Be aware of the transition that repeats the same information presented in the quote.
EXAMPLE: Students say they are looking forward to the arrival of the new principal.
“I’m really looking forward to the new principal arriving,” Wayne Scott said.
Better: Excitement arose among students such as Wayne Scott at the thought of
fresh leadership on campus.
“I’m really looking forward to the new principal arriving,” Scott said.
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HANDLING QUOTES
The Fact Quote
Be aware of quotes that convey facts instead of emotion or important, storytelling information. When you see them, ask the reporter if he possibly got a
better quote during the interviewing process.
EXAMPLE: “The debate team practices every Wednesday after school in the
cafeteria,” Joshua Lyman said.
Better: “Debate practices get so heated that sometimes we forget that we are
all on the same team and that it is just practice. Sometimes we have to take a
few minutes to cool off when things get intense,” Joshua Lyman said.
The Quote with Attribution
Unless there is a clear and specific reason, all quotes should be attributed with
the verb “said.”
EXAMPLE: “I can’t believe we are an ‘A’ school for the third year in a row,”
Principal Jessica Schultz exclaimed.
Better: “I can’t believe we are an ‘A’ school for the third year in a row,”
Principal Jessica Schultz said.
The Quote with Attribution
Quotes can be edited, but rarely. Some instances will allow you to edit poor
grammar as long as it does not affect the integrity of the quote. All vocalized
pauses should be edited out of quotes as well. These include phrases such as
“ya know” and “hmmm.”
EXAMPLE: “Ummmm…. I thought the competition was… uh… fair… ya know…
for the most part,” Samuel Powers said.
Better: “I thought the competition was fair for the most part,” Samuel
Powers said.
The Nothing Quote
Be aware of the quote that conveys no information and fails to further the story.
EXAMPLE: “I took art because I like painting,” Jack Kelly said.
Better: “I was inspired by my mom to paint. She always took me to parks to paint
nature scenes since I was little, and ever since then I couldn’t put the brush
down,” Jack Kelly said.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
WORKING
WITH
TRANSITIONS
AND QUOTES
Identify the transition and quote problems in this story. Edit the story,
fixing the problems.
Sifting through racks of clothing at local thrift stores in their spare time paired
with their desire to make their own apparel led to the creation of What Dress
Code?, a clothing line by Nikole Passarella and Alexandra Kerns.
“I like doing DIY (do-it-yourself) stuff because I like making things,” Passarella
said.
When asked how she felt about creating a customer base, Kerns believed
that high school students make the best clients.
“I wanted to create my own fashion line because all high school students
dress the same, and I wanted to help change that,” Kerns said.
Passarella thought that the clothing line was successful.
“I think that the line has been successful in the sense that people are really
interested in what we do,” Passarella commented.
This new endeavor forced Kerns to balance her fashion line with her other
responsibilities.
“I work 15 hours a week and have approximately three hours of homework
a night,” Kerns said.
What Dress Code? saw success and its founders continued to expand their
products to reach a broader audience.
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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ACTIVITY
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
Lesson 4
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
.............. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....................................................... ..............................
4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I can demonstrate an understanding of how to identify weak quotes and transitions and also how
to improve them to create stronger copy. I can...
a. identify the different types of transition problems and can edit them to
reflect a clear relationship among the various ideas in the story
b. identify weak quotes and can direct the writer on how to obtain
stronger, story-telling quotes
2.0
I can identify weak quotes in a story, but I still struggle to identify weak transitions and understand
how to best fix them.
1.0
I don’t understand the role transitions or quotes play in furthering a story.
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Lesson 5
Copy-editing
Marks
Objective – In this lesson you will:
Learn the most-used copy-editing marks
If you have ever tried to communicate with
someone who spoke a different language, you
understand how frustrating that process can be.
No matter how good the message is, if you’re not speaking the
same language, you can’t get the message across effectively.
Copy-editing marks are the universal language of editing. If both the writer and
editor commit these marks to memory, they will be able to clearly communicate
so the corrections to a story can be made with ease.
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COPY-EDITING MARKS
,
Insert a comma ............................................................................................
______
Leave as originally written...........................................................................
______
Insert quotation marks or apostrophes ......................................................
______
Separate run together words .....................................................................
______
Lowercase.....................................................................................................
______
Uppercase ....................................................................................................
______
Do the opposite ...........................................................................................
______
Transpose letters or words ...........................................................................
______
Delete letters, words or phrases not needed ...........................................
______
Delete a letter in the middle of a word and close ..................................
______
Delete a letter at the beginning or end of a word,
or punctuation mark ....................................................................................
______
Insert a letter or word ...................................................................................
______
stet
‘
“
.
Emphasize a penciled-in period ................................................................
______
Emphasize a paragraph or begin a paragraph ......................................
______
Insert hyphen ................................................................................................
______
Insert a dash .................................................................................................
______
End of story ...................................................................................................
#______
##
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
MAKE YOUR
MARK
Write in the correct editing mark in the line
next to the definition.
________
Insert a comma
________
Leave as originally written
________
Insert quotations marks or apostrophes
________
Separate run together words
________Lowercase
________Uppercase
________
Do the opposite
________
Transpose letters or words
________
Delete letters, words or phrases not needed.
________
Delete a letter in the middle of a word and close
________
Delete a letter at the beginning or end of a word, or a punctuation mark
________
Insert a letter or word
________
Emphasize a penciled-in period
________
Emphasize a paragraph or begin a paragraph
________
Insert hyphen
________
Insert a dash
________
Either of these marks says the end of story
................................................................................................... .....................
NOTES!
................................................................................................... .....................
................................................................................................... .....................
................................................................................................... .....................
................................................................................................... .....................
................................................................................................... .....................
................................................................................................... .....................
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........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
Lesson 5
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
............... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...................................................... ..............................
4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I can demonstrate an ability to use copy-editing marks in the editing process. I understand the
purpose of copy-editing marks and can use them effectively to convey directions to the writer.
2.0
I understand the need for copy-editing marks, but I don’t understand what they mean or how to
use them.
1.0
I do not understand the need for copy-editing marks.
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Lesson 6
AP Style Rules
Objectives – In this lesson you will:
Learn some of the more frequently used
Associated Press style rules
Practice using copy-editing marks
Consider what school would be like without any
rules. Sounds like a blast, right? It might be fun for
a little while, but it wouldn’t be long before things
took a turn for the worst. At best, students would be out of control and chaotic.
Whether we like to admit it or not, we all appreciate some rules. Rules keep life
functioning smoothly and consistently so we always know what to expect from
not just ourselves, but from others as well.
The Associated Press Stylebook is a rulebook for journalistic style. It sets forth
style guidelines that help keep copy concise and consistent. Abiding by the
AP Style rules eliminates confusion for the reader as they move through a large
publication. Though the voice of the writer may change as readers jump from
story to story, the rules keep the style consistent and orderly so it is easier for the
reader to process.
AP STYLE RULES: NUMBERS
Spell out numbers less than 10, including fractions less than one.
Spell out first through ninth when they indicate a sequence in time or location.
I slid into second base.
Look for the third house on the left.
Spell out any number, except a year, that starts a sentence.
Spell out casual expressions of numbers.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
Spell out the word percent. Use figures with percentages.
I used 25 percent of my money.
Always use the numeral for dates with no st, nd, rd or th.
The homecoming game is Friday, Nov. 6, at the stadium.
Always use $ and the numeral unless there is no numeral or it is a casual reference.
I have $25 in my pocket.
There were millions of dollars in that car.
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AP STYLE RULES: TITLES
Lowercase all titles not used before a name.
Barack Obama, president
Roy Blunt, senator
Lowercase all titles that are primarily job descriptions.
farmer
teacher
movie star
Capitalize all formal titles when used before a name.
President Barack Obama
AP STYLE RULES: ABBREVIATIONS
Abbreviate titles when used before names.
Sen. Mike Smith
Gov. Mike Smith
Abbreviate avenue, street and boulevard in numbered addresses only.
5555 Smith Blvd.
I live on Smith Boulevard.
Abbreviate months with more than five letters when used with a date.
Dec. 15 is Mr. Smith’s birthday.
December is the best month ever.
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
. . ......................................................................................................................
AP STYLEBOOK
TREASURE HUNT
The following sentences have a mistake in bold. Using
copy-editing marks, correct the sentences according to
the rule found in the AP Stylebook. If you have a stylebook,
write the page number where you found the rule.
1. Her birthday was April 1st.
...................................................................................................................
2. Lunch is over at 1:00 PM.
...................................................................................................................
3. Mrs. Smith was the head of the History Department and English Department.
...................................................................................................................
4. The kids will graduate in Dec. 2006.
...................................................................................................................
5. Mike Alstott is the Full Back for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
...................................................................................................................
6. The school is located in New Port Richey, Florida.
...................................................................................................................
7.
Miss Jones had a tutoring session during lunch yesterday.
...................................................................................................................
8.The teacher asked for 8 volunteers to show their project.
...................................................................................................................
9.PHCC is a good school to attend if you’d like to earn an Associate’s Degree.
...................................................................................................................
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10.The student body increased by over 200 students.
...................................................................................................................
11.The Mustangs beat the Rams 21 to 20 at last night’s game.
...................................................................................................................
12.The staff had an extra day off for labor day falling on a Monday.
...................................................................................................................
13.Night school was canceled on Tue. and Wed. nights this week.
...................................................................................................................
14.It is important to know proper punctuation (like how to use parentheses.)
...................................................................................................................
15.You can find a lot of information on the web about war.
...................................................................................................................
16.My favorite time of the year is the Fall.
...................................................................................................................
17. New Year’s Day is exciting; you have a fresh start for the New Year.
...................................................................................................................
18.This information should just stay among the two of us.
...................................................................................................................
19.I vacation biannually; I save up to go on a longer trip every two years.
...................................................................................................................
20.I prefer to attend the pre-season football games so I can observe all the new players.
...................................................................................................................
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
USING AP STYLE
Correct this passage to read accurately
according to the Associated Press style rules.
Use the appropriate copy-editing marks.
BAN MAY GO BEYOND PAJAMAS
the fate of the most emotionally issue charged on Student Council’s Nov. Ballot
could hinge on a question of dress code.
Would banning pajama day during homecoming week threaten participation
for 100’s of students who depend on this day to earn spirit points for their class?
Passage of similarly worded dress-up day bans at neighboring schools have
thrust this issue to the front of the student council agenda.
So far, one schools Student Council has ruled that the pajama day ban
prevented students from dressing inappropriately, however other students feel
that this ban will hurt participation in homecoming week events
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
........................................................................................................................
USING AP STYLE AND
COPY-EDITING MARKS
Use copy-editing marks to correct the
AP style errors in the sentences below.
1. The software costs four hundred and twenty-five dollars.
2. The President dedicated Mount Rushmore.
3. John Glenn, Astronaut and United States Senator, almost ran for President
of the United States.
4. Meredith McNulty, English and History Teacher, planned a trip to New York.
5. The Sophomore class and the Juniors got into an epic battle during powder puff.
6. The society will award cash prizes for the top three entries: $40 for 1st place,
thirty dollars for second place, and twenty dollars for 3rd place.
7. American History will not be taught next year, but political science will be.
8. Blues Brothers 2000 has a PG 13 rating and is showing at Westport cinema.
9. I had a bag of chips and a coca-cola for lunch.
10. This is the first District title for the Pioneers in over twenty-five years.
11. Composer and Orchestra Leader Aaron Copland composed multiple songs.
12. The U.S. $ is weak, and that is part of the reason the national debt is into
$1,000,000’s of dollars.
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........................................................................................................................
NOTES!
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
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........................................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
Lesson 6
........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ............................................................. ..............................
4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I can demonstrate an understanding of the Associated Press (AP) Style rules and their purpose in
keeping copy consistent for the reader.
I understand how to edit for both style and consistency.
I can identify passive voice in writing and understand how to change the sentence to an active
voice statement.
2.0
I understand the purpose of AP Style but I still struggle with how to edit so that the copy
consistently abides by the rules.
1.0
I don’t understand the purpose of AP Style rules in copy editing.
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Lesson 7
The Editing Process
Objective – In this lesson you will:
Learn some editing best practices and
techniques to help you edit stories
Now that you are comfortable with editing
the content of a story, it is time to address the
copy-editing process. With so many stories being
submitted at various times by a variety of writers, an organizational structure
for editing needs to be in place. Without it, writers can be confused by mixed
messages from editors, printed drafts of stories can be lost, and the quality of
the story will suffer.
WRITE HOT, EDIT COLD
Writing can be a taxing activity. Reporters should write freely while thoughts are
flowing and ideas are clear. They can save the editing process for later.
However, this does not mean to write “hot” and then pass along your rough
work for some editor to trudge through. A fresh set of eyes is important, but since
it is your piece and you know it best, self-editing is a practice that cannot be
sacrificed in the name of saving some time.
When you reach a resting point in your writing, step away from the story for a
while. It could for be for an hour or a day, but give yourself some space so that
you can approach editing the piece with a fresh perspective.
Then return to your story with a keen, objective editing eye.
Follow the same process for your own story that you would if editing someone
else’s work. Examine the story for the purpose of both subjective and objective
editing.
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EDITING BEST PRACTICES
THIRD TIME’S A CHARM
With so many different areas of writing that must be edited, it is imperative that
each story is read multiple times. Each time you read through a story, look for
something different. Use the pattern below as a guideline.
• Read once for content.
• Read once for organization.
• Read once for language.
READ STORIES ALOUD
It is amazing the errors in content and language that are uncovered simply from
reading something aloud. Our voices tend to find the errors and inaccuracies
that our minds glaze over. Read to your friends, your editors, your parents, your
pets… anyone who will listen. If all else fails, read it out loud to yourself. As you
find errors, pause to make the corrections.
READ ALOUD TO A SMALL GROUP
Instead of reading through your story multiple times looking for different areas of
concern, allow a group of peers to help you go through the editing process. Assign
one person to listen for content, one to listen for organization, and one to listen
for language. Your editing audience can write comments on a feedback form,
like the one below, as you read, or you can provide a copy of your story to each
group member that they can use to provide feedback.
peer-EDITING feedback
peer-EDITING feedback
Listening for Content
Listening for Organization
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
Comments/Questions: _______________________
Comments/Questions: _______________________
peer-EDITING feedback
Listening for Language
Comments/Questions: _______________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
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EDITING BEST PRACTICES (CONT'D)
READ SLOWLY AND BACKWARDS
Sometimes it is not what you are reading for, but how you are reading that will make
the difference. The best way to find small errors, such as spelling, capitalization
and punctuation, is to read the story like a kindergartner reads their first book —
painstakingly slow. Reading the story slowly and out loud is even better.
Furthermore, reading the story backwards allows you to see each word as
an individual entity, which makes spelling errors easier to spot.
RED PENS CAN’T DO ALL THE WORK
Avoid the temptation to mark up someone’s story and hand it back to him or her without
ever having a discussion. It is rare that major changes to a story can be communicated
clearly with a few comments in the margins of the story. Take time to sit down and talk
with the writer. Explain what you think the revision needs. Have them explain back to you
what needs to be done to make sure the writer understands and agrees.
CRITICISM SANDWICH
Even when the criticism you are providing is constructive, a lot of bad news can really
discourage a writer. To help soften the blow, use the criticism sandwich method:
positive — negative — positive. Always begin with a positive comment. Tell the
writer something you liked about their story or something they did well. Then move
to the areas that need improvement. Provide specific, detailed feedback regarding
the problem areas of their story. Then close the conversation with another positive
comment. This method will help motivate the writer and keep him or her from feeling
overwhelmed and under-appreciated.
RETHINK THE REWRITE
Editors can often overstep their boundaries and rewrite large portions of a reporter’s
work. Whereas the editor’s intentions may be altruistic, this act only serves to alienate
the reporter. Writers are likely to wonder why they poured their heart and soul into a
piece just to have their work removed and replaced by someone else’s. Furthermore,
the reporter doesn’t learn in this process. They cannot recognize their shortcomings and
work to improve them if they are robbed of the opportunity.
Everyone will benefit in the end if editors edit the story and show the writer how to improve.
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EDITING HIERARCHY
To make sure every story is edited thoroughly, a solid editing process should be in
place. Then stick with it. A system that works for your staff will help keep staffers and
editors accountable and communicating clearly.
Example:
Staffer writes first draft of story
Self-edit
Peer-edit
First draft submitted to editor; editor makes corrections and returns to staffer
Staffer makes corrections and submits revised draft to editor again
Editor makes corrections and then passes on to the editor-in-chief
Editor-in-chief makes corrections and returns to staffer
Staffer makes final corrections and submits final draft to editor
Editor gives final approval and passes to editor-in-chief
Editor-in-chief gives final approval and passes to adviser
Create your own flow chart system for your staff.
AP style rules
Impact lead is used, not summary
No to-be verbs
(all writing in active voice)
Angle is specific and reinforced
throughout story
Names spelled correctly
Quotes convey feelings, not facts
Correct grades and position titles
Said is used as the attribution verb
Spelling and capitalization
Transitions do not repeat information
in quotes
No exclamation points
Transitions do not transcribe interview
(“when asked…”)
No comma splices
Word choice and usage
Commas are inside quotation marks
No clichés or editorializing
Apostrophes used correctly in
contractions
All superfluous language has been
removed
Third person and past tense
walsworthyearbooks.com
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deadline: _____
First word is powerful and interesting
writer name: ___________________
OBJECTIVE EDITING
editor name: _______________
SUBJECTIVE EDITING
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ACTIVITY
Your Name:
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EDIT
A
STORY
Select a story written for the yearbook and edit it using the
editing process and checklist. Note here the changes you
would make, or make them on the story and attach here.
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Lesson 7
RATE YOUR PROGRESS
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4.0
I can do all tasks in 3.0 and I can teach others!
3.0
I understand the importance of positive communication with the writer and how establishing a
copy-editing system will help me effectively communicate corrections.
I can demonstrate an ability to use a variety of methods to thoroughly edit copy.
I can effectively edit copy in a way that limits rewriting and shows the writer how to improve the
story.
2.0
I understand the basics of how to communicate with the writer, but I am still struggling to abide by
a strong copy-editing system that allows me to edit effectively and thoroughly.
1.0
I understand the importance of copy editing, but I do not understand how to implement a copyediting system, how to edit effectively or how to communicate corrections to the writer.
walsworthyearbooks.com
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MEET THE AUTHOR
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Sabrina Schmitz is a new Walsworth Yearbooks sales representative in
Florida. With a degree in magazine journalism, she taught graphic design
and journalism in addition to advising The Stampede yearbook staff and
The Hoofbeat newspaper staff at J.W. Mitchell High School in New Port
Richey, Fla.
In her six years of advising, The Stampede yearbook was awarded two
CSPA Silver Crowns, a Gold Crown, a NSPA Pacemaker Award, and was
an NSPA Design of the Year finalist in 2012.
She was recognized as Teacher of the Year in 2013 as well as a District
Teacher of the Year Finalist and has taught at workshops and conventions
around the country.
walsworthyearbooks.com
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customer service 800.972.4968
computer support 800.369.1530
walsworthyearbooks.com
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