By Kathy Martin and Phil Nohl
© Copyright 2012, Pioneer Drama Service, Inc.
Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that a royalty must be paid for every
performance, whether or not admission is charged. All inquiries regarding rights should
be addressed to Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., PO Box 4267, Englewood, CO 80155.
All rights to this play—including but not limited to amateur, professional, radio broadcast,
television, motion picture, public reading and translation into foreign languages—are
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On all programs, printing and advertising, the following information must appear:
1. The full name of the play
2. The full name of the playwright
3. The following notice: “Produced by special arrangement with
Pioneer Drama Service, Inc., Englewood, Colorado”
ZOMBEO AND JULIET
By KATHY MARTIN and PHIL NOHL
CAST OF CHARACTERS
(In Order of Appearance by Group)
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Montgomerys (Zombies)
ADAM .......................................old and always hungry zombie
ROMEO ....................................not yet “zombified” hero
MRS. MONTGOMERY .................Romeo’s mother
MR. MONTGOMERY ...................Romeo’s father
MICKEY ....................................Romeo’s best friend; human
BEN .........................................Romeo’s cousin
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Decapitates (Hunters)
SAM .........................................hunter, friend of Ty
DEAN .......................................hunter, friend of Ty
TY ............................................short-tempered cousin of Juliet
MR. DECAPITATE .......................Juliet’s father
MRS. DECAPITATE .....................Juliet’s mother
JULIET ......................................star-crossed lover of Romeo
ROSALIND ................................Juliet’s best friend, not a hunter
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Others
STORYTELLER 1 ........................narrator in iambic pentameter
STORYTELLER 2 ........................narrator in iambic pentameter
ACTOR 1 ...................................person in the audience
ACTOR 2 ...................................another
SECURITY GUARD 1 ..................mall rent-a-cop
SECURITY GUARD 2 ..................mall rent-a-cop
WAYWARD EXTRA ......................iambically challenged extra
EXTRAS ....................................Greek chorus that assists the
Storytellers as well as additional
zombies, zombie hunters, mall
shoppers, party-goers, etc.
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SETTING
Time: A few days leading up to the school dance. Present.
Place: Verona… or your local town.
SYNOPSIS OF SCENES
Prologue: Somewhere in front of a theater
Scene One: The mall
Scene Two: Juliet’s bedroom
Scene Three: The street
Scene Four: Party at the Decapitates’ house
Scene Five: Juliet’s bedroom
Scene Six: The mall
Scene Seven: Juliet’s bedroom
Scene Eight: The high school dance
SET DESCRIPTION
This play is designed to be performed with a minimal set. Some of
the humor of the play has to do with the lack of set, so you can have
fun with the simple approach. The original production was performed
outside with just a bench and two wooden crates. Lecterns are DOWN
LEFT and DOWN RIGHT for the STORYTELLERS.
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ZOMBEO AND JULIET
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Prologue
AT RISE: HOUSELIGHTS are on as EXTRAS as zombies are milling
around the stage. STORYTELLER 1 and STORYTELLER 2 ENTER RIGHT
and take their places standing behind the lecterns DOWN RIGHT and
DOWN LEFT respectively. They will stay here for the rest of the play.
In flash mob style, EXTRAS jump into a dance routine, acting out the
STORYTELLERS’ narrative.
STORYTELLERS: Two households, not alike in dignity,
In fair Verona (or your local town if you can make it work in verse)
where we lay our scene
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny
Where zombie blood makes hunter hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed lovers go to prom.
Where hunter steel the final gift bestows,
And with her blade does she his life embalm.
The fearful passage of their death-mark’d love,
And the continuance of their parents’ rage,
Which, e’en their children’s love, nought could remove,
Is now the hour’s traffic of our stage
The which, if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss…
ACTOR 1: (Seated in the AUDIENCE. Looks up from a cell phone.) Wait?
What? What did I miss?
ACTOR 2: (Seated next to ACTOR 1 in AUDIENCE. Looks up from a cell
phone.) Miss? What? I missed something?
ACTOR 1: We couldn’t have missed anything. The play just started.
STORYTELLER 1: Weren’t you paying attention? No? We just told you
the whole story of the show.
ACTORS: Oh. (Look at each other and hang their heads.)
STORYTELLER 2: You weren’t texting, were you?
STORYTELLER 1: Were you?
STORYTELLERS: Were you?
ACTORS: We were! (Both run crying OFF LEFT to wherever the other
actors are.)
STORYTELLER 2: Well, for anyone else who was so rudely checking
their text messages—
STORYTELLER 1: —while we were delivering this incredible prologue
in rhyming iambic pentameter, no less—
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STORYTELLER 2: Iambic pentameter!
STORYTELLER 1: —we will act out the sordid details for you.
STORYTELLER 2: It would be really great if you’d turn off your cell
phones and actually pay attention to the show.
STORYTELLER 1: I mean, you paid for a ticket and everything, and—
(EXTRAS groan in warning.)
STORYTELLERS: What? (Stops as the EXTRAS groan again.) Okay, okay.
STORYTELLER 2: (Sarcastic.) Fine.
STORYTELLER 1: (Sarcastic.) Sorry. Shouldn’t rant in front of the
paying audience.
STORYTELLER 2: Now, on with the show! First stop, the Fox Valley
Mall (or your local mall). (BLACKOUT.)
End of Prologue
Scene One
LIGHTS UP: The Fox Valley Mall. SAM and DEAN ENTER RIGHT. DEAN
carries an Orange Julius cup and a big pretzel. SAM is reading a book.
SAM: (Looks up from book.) I can’t believe we’re already out of shotgun
shells. What has everyone been doing with them?
DEAN: Target practice, Sammy. We have to stay sharp.
SAM: True enough.
DEAN: I can’t believe how many Montgomerys there are now. Every
time I turn around, I run into another one of those walking corpses.
SAM: That’s the problem, Dean. They’re zombies. They never really
die. They get knocked down, but they get up again. Ain’t nothing
gonna keep them down.
DEAN: What are you reading?
SAM: Words, words, words.
DEAN: Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Hamlet. What book are you reading?
SAM: So Now You’re a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead.
Ty gave it to me. He believes that if we can understand how the
Montgomerys think, it will be easier for us to kill them.
DEAN: So we get into their brains to keep them from eating ours!
Genius!
SAM: And Ty thinks he’s figured out a way to kill them. That’s why
we’re at the mall.
DEAN: I thought we were here to buy shotgun shells.
SAM: And pretzels and an Orange Julius. But Ty wanted us to buy a
couple of store mannequins and a sword.
DEAN: What?
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SAM: We’ve been shooting them in the chest, and they keep walking—
DEAN: They don’t really walk. It’s more like a shuffle.
SAM: Seriously. We’ve tried staking them like vamps, and that doesn’t
work. Ty thinks if we cut off their heads, that should do the trick.
DEAN: That explains the sword. But why the mannequins?
SAM: Target practice.
DEAN: Hey, look. Here comes Adam Montgomery. (ADAM shuffles ON
LEFT and heads straight for SAM and DEAN.)
SAM: Hey, man, we don’t want any trouble. We’re just shopping.
DEAN: Yeah. Needed my Julius fix today.
ADAM: I hungry, too, that why I here.
DEAN: (Hands ADAM his pretzel.) Pretzel? (ADAM groans and reaches
for the pretzel. He grabs DEAN’S hand, bites his thumb and makes
nummy sounds.) Hey! Are you biting my thumb?
ADAM: Mmm… thumb…
DEAN: I need that! Give it back!
ADAM: Thumb nummy goodness.
DEAN: Yeah, it’s my nummy goodness! (To SAM.) He bit my thumb! (To
ADAM.) You bit my thumb. (To AUDIENCE.) Did you see him bite my
thumb, sir? (SAM pulls DEAN away from ADAM. They start to run
away and get cornered by more ZOMBIES EXTRAS as they ENTER.
DEAN throws his Julius at them. The ZOMBIES scream then start
licking the Julius off themselves and each other. SAM and DEAN,
readied for combat, look at each other puzzled and shrug. They
turn to run and ADAM blocks their way with more ZOMBIES EXTRAS
coming up behind him. They start fighting.)
ROMEO: (ENTERS LEFT.) Stop! Stop all this fighting. Adam!
ADAM: Why? We hungry. They nummy treats.
ROMEO: I know that, but we’ve fought in the mall too much already.
We’ll get kicked out and never be able to come back. And I really
don’t want to go without my Julius.
DEAN: Those things are like crack.
SAM: Whoa! Whoa! What are you saying? (To the AUDIENCE.) Listen
up, kids. Parents, you too. Crack is bad for you. Very bad.
ADAM: Julius good!
ROMEO: Crack bad!
SAM: (To DEAN.) This is a family show! Crack? Really?
ADAM: Julius good!
ROMEO: True fact.
ADAM: Nummy goodness.
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DEAN: Uhhh, I have a coupon for a Julius. Buy one, get one free.
ROMEO: Adam, stop trying to eat them, and let’s go get a Julius.
They’re even tastier treats.
TY: (ENTERS RIGHT.) What is this? Talk of sharing a Julius coupon?
Dean, why? Don’t you remember who you are? And who they are?
DEAN: Yeah, I know, Ty, but we were outnumbered.
TY: No excuse! Come on, Romeo. Bring it.
ROMEO: Hey, I’m just trying to keep things calm.
TY: Calm? I hate calm. Like I hate Justin Bieber (or another celebrity
with mixed popularity), all zombies and you! (Pulls out a dagger and
advances on ROMEO.)
ROMEO: Hey! I’m not a zombie! Not yet, anyway.
TY: Fight, you little baby! (Lunges at ROMEO, and they fight. TY eventually
stabs ROMEO, who falls to the floor and dies. The ZOMBIES turn
on TY just as SECURITY GUARDS 1 and 2 ENTER LEFT.) Oh, man!
(To SAM and DEAN.) Run! (Runs OFF RIGHT followed by SAM and
DEAN.)
SECURITY GUARD 1: What’s going on here? (ADAM points at the dead
body of ROMEO and groans.)
SECURITY GUARD 2: What happened? (ADAM and another ZOMBIE
reenact the fight between TY and ROMEO. Just as they finish, MR.
and MRS. MONTGOMERY shuffle ON LEFT.)
MRS. MONTGOMERY: Romeo! (Runs to his body, sits next to him and
puts his head on her lap.)
MR. MONTGOMERY: Son!
SECURITY GUARD 1: Ummm… it seems there was an… incident
today.
MR. MONTGOMERY: (Sarcastic.) Really?
SECURITY GUARD 2: (Points to ADAM.) If I understand him correctly,
a hunter stabbed your boy. (MR. and MRS. DECAPITATE ENTER
RIGHT.)
MR. MONTGOMERY: A hunter? (Sees the DECAPITATES.) This is all
your fault, Decapitate!
SECURITY GUARD 1: Decapitate?
SECURITY GUARD 2: Not John and Mary Decapitate? We’ve heard of
you. Your family is, like, legendary.
SECURITY GUARD 1: This is so amazingly cool.
MR. DECAPITATE: Shut it, rent-a-cops.
GUARDS: (With complete love and adoration.) Yes, sir!
MR. DECAPITATE: Montgomery. I’m surprised to see you here in the
daylight.
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MRS. DECAPITATE: Nice! Up top! (They high-five.)
MRS. MONTGOMERY: That’s vampires, you fools. We can be out in
the daylight.
MRS. DECAPITATE: But why would you want to? The darkness can
hide your… skin condition. It’s kinda gross.
MR. DECAPITATE: Ha! Up top! (They high-five.)
MR. MONTGOMERY: This is your family’s fault. A hunter killed my boy.
MR. DECAPITATE: And?
MR. MONTGOMERY: And I want you to remember that when he comes
back for revenge.
MR. DECAPITATE: Revenge! Ha ha! Up top!
MRS. DECAPITATE: (Shakes her head annoyingly.) Back? But you said
he was dead.
ROMEO: (Wakes up.) Uh… not so much. No.
MR. DECAPITATE/MRS. DECAPITATE: What?
MRS. MONTGOMERY: That’s my boy. The family gift takes some time
to kick in after the initial death.
MR. DECAPITATE: Initial death?
ROMEO: (Shy.) Yeah. This was my first time. Mom? Am I a zombie
now?
MRS. MONTGOMERY: You sure are, sweetheart. We’re so proud.
MR. MONTGOMERY: Very proud, son.
SECURITY GUARD 1: I hate to break up this touching family moment,
really, but listen. This fighting has got to stop. (Turns to the
DECAPITATES.) I support your cause, but we are going to get fired
if another person dies at the mall.
SECURITY GUARD 2: And, it looks like you’re just making more
zombies anyway, so maybe cooling it is a good idea.
MR. MONTGOMERY: As much as I appreciate your hunter turning my
boy into a zombie, this still calls for revenge, Decapitate. We will
be looking for retribution.
MRS. MONTGOMERY: Retribution! Nice! Up top! (They high-five.)
SECURITY GUARD 1: (To ZOMBIES.) And you! If you keep eating the
mall customers, we are going to get fired! (ZOMBIES groan.) Or
eaten. Both of your families need to cut it out.
SECURITY GUARD 2: And this isn’t foreshadowing or anything, but if
anyone fights here again, you’ll all be… (Looks at SECURITY GUARD
1 and they pause for dramatic effect.)
GUARDS: …banned from the mall! And that means no more Juliuses
for any of you!
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ZOMBIES: Nooo!
SECURITY GUARD 2: Now, go on! Get out of here! (ALL reluctantly
EXIT as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)
End of Scene One
Scene Two
LIGHTS UP: JULIET’S bedroom. Some crates have been arranged
STAGE RIGHT to represent the bedroom. JULIET and ROSALIND hang
out. EXTRAS have joined the STORYTELLERS to introduce the scene.
STORYTELLERS: So now dear Romeo is nice and dead.
A state we thought would be the final scene,
But zombie plays just never seem to end,
Just like the plays we’ve seen on the TV.
WAYWARD EXTRA: But we don’t watch Romeo and Juliet on TV.
It’s a play! We watch it—
STORYTELLERS: ( All glare at WAYWARD EXTRA.)
We take our story to another place
And find sweet Rosalind with Juliet
Inside the house of the Decapitates,
Pretend it’s there—we can’t afford a set. (EXTRAS EXIT.)
JULIET: Oh, Rosalind, I am so excited for the party tonight. I can’t
believe Daddy’s letting me go. He never lets me go anywhere.
ROSALIND: He worries about you, Juliet, and with good reason. The
Montgomerys are taking over Verona (or your town).
JULIET: I know, but I’ve been training with Ty. He says I’m almost ready
to be a hunter.
ROSALIND: But you’re just a teenager! Aren’t you too young for the
family business?
JULIET: Ty was only 15 when he started, and my mom started hunting
at 14.
ROSALIND: Yeah, but things are different now.
JULIET: Yeah! Things are worse. There are more of them now.
ROSALIND: Let’s talk about better things. I don’t like thinking about
that. What are you wearing at the party?
JULIET: It’s going to be a surprise! It’s a costume party, and I want to
go as something totally unexpected. What are you going as?
ROSALIND: I thought I would go as a clown.
JULIET: A clown? Aren’t you trying to get Ty to notice you?
ROSALIND: Yeah, so?
JULIET: This is a Halloween costume party. You can dress as
something totally… not you.
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End of Script Sample
PRODUCTION NOTES
PROPERTIES ONSTAGE
Scene Two: Crates
Scene Four: Buffet table with food
Scene Five: Crates
Scene Seven: Crates
PROPERTIES BROUGHT ON
Prologue:
Cell phones (ACTORS 1 & 2)
Scene One:
Orange Julius cup, large pretzel (DEAN)
Book (SAM)
Coupon (DEAN)
Dagger (TY)
Scene Six:
Sporting goods store bag with blade inside (TY)
Orange Julius cup (MICKEY)
Scene Eight:
Sword (DEAN)
Dagger (JULIET)
Two head-shaped balls (From OFFSTAGE)
COSTUME SUGGESTIONS
The zombies should all be dressed in dirty, torn clothing and zombie
makeup. The hunters should all be dressed in neutral clothes with a
military or hunting feel. The hunters can be outfitted with water guns,
Nerf guns, plastic knives and swords. The less realistic the weapons
look, the better.
For the costume party, pull together ridiculous costumes from your
stock. ROMEO and JULIET should be dressed as vampires with fake
fangs.
ROSALIND and JULIET need fancy dresses for Scene Eight.
SOUND EFFECTS
Background dance music for Scenes Four and Eight. (NOTE: Music
can be original compositions or in the public domain. Do not use
copyrighted music without first obtaining permission.)
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FLEXIBLE CASTING NOTE
Several parts may be changed from male to female if needed.
Specifically, the roles of MICKEY, BEN, ADAM, SAM and DEAN may be
played by either male or female actors. BEN can become VIOLA, ADAM
can become EVE, and DEAN can become DEENA.
DECAPITATIONS
There are two zombie decapitations in the final scene. These should
be done very unrealistically and humorously. One suggestion is to get
a ball that is about the size of a human head (such as a volleyball)
and decorate it to look—more or less—like the actors playing ROMEO
and BEN. You can use fake fur or curly ribbon for hair. Then draw an
“X” for each eye and a mouth. When the decapitations occur, have the
action done in slow motion and as the sword gets close to the actor
getting decapitated, have the actor pull his shirt up over his head and
fall to the ground. At the same time, have someone throw out the ball
“head.”
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