Using Descriptive Language
In descriptive writing, it is vital that you use descriptive language. That means choosing your nouns and
verbs very carefully, adding adjectives and adverbs, and using adjective clauses and participial phrases.
As you learned when we studied the writing process, writing involves much revision and rewriting, so
you can always review your sentences to make them more descriptive. The following exercises will help
you practice adding descriptive details to your writing.
A. Adding adjectives and adverbs to sentences.
Working with a partner, rewrite the following sentences to create two differing mental images. Add
detail to the sentences using adjectives and adverbs. Try to avoid clichés (overly used words like
‘delicious’ and ‘great’). If you want to change a noun/verb to a more descriptive noun/verb, you may.
1. The food arrived on a plate.

The mouth-watering food immediately arrived on a large silver plate.

Eventually, the putrid “food” arrived on a filthy cracked plate.
2. The boy ran to the store.
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3. The porter carried the bags upstairs.
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4. A man waited for the bus.
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B. Choosing descriptive words
Working with a partner, write one or more alternative words to the ones highlighted in the sentence.
1. A young boy and girl looked longingly into each other’s eyes.

couple

stared; gazed
2. The boy took her by the hand and said, “I love you.”
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3. My dirty desk is covered with stuff.
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4. I have always been scared of cockroaches and other things.
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C. Using similes
A simile is a comparison between two things. Similes can refer to any of the five senses. It can be
formed using the following grammar points:


NOUN / VERB / VERB PHRASE + like + NOUN / NOUN PHRASE
o
The food tasted like ambrosia.
o
The robber fled the scene like a bullet.
o
David was so exhausted after a hard day’s work. He slept like a baby all day long.
o
He had a voice like thunder.
as + ADJECTIVE/ADVERB + as + NOUN
o
This meat is as tough as an old boot.
o
Her voice is as smooth as silk.
o
She sang as beautifully as a nightingale.
Now let’s practice using similes. With a partner, write one or more sentences using the given cues.
1. an annoying noise

Her voice was like sandpaper on my ears.

She had a voice as loud as a jackhammer.
2. a pleasing noise
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3. a displeasing taste
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4. an amazing sight
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D. Using metaphors
A metaphor is similar to a simile, but it doesn’t use the words ‘like’ or ‘as’. Instead, it directly refers to
one thing as something similar.

His voice was like thunder.

When I first met my girlfriend, I realized that I had met someone as beautiful as an angel.

My desk is like a jungle.
Choose one of your sentences from the previous exercise (C). Can you rewrite using a metaphor instead
of a simile?
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E. Using appositives
An appositive is a noun or noun phrase – set off by commas – that immediately follows another noun
or noun phrase and describes it.

Barack Obama, the president of the United States, will be visiting our school today.

The baby, an angel sent from heaven, smiled and gurgled all the way to Busan.

The plot of Julius Caesar, a play by William Shakespeare, centers around the actions of Brutus,
Caesar’s best friend.
F. Using Adjective Clauses
An adjective clause is a clause that describes a noun. It has the same meaning as an adjective. It
begins with ‘that’, ‘which’, ‘who’, ‘where’, etc.

Barack Obama, who used to live in my hometown, will be visiting our school today.

Next to the town where I grew up, there is a beautiful mountain

My desk, which resembles an earthquake zone at times, is actually neat and tidy today.
G. Using participial phrases
A participial phrase is a phrase beginning with an –ed or –ing word. They usually refer to the subject
of a sentence, and they function as an adjective. They are placed either immediately before, or
immediately after, the subject.

Leaning against the wall, the bully ruthlessly demanded that I give him some money.

Patrick, wanting a new challenge, left his job and moved to America.

The child, wanting to please her mother, was cleaning the table earnestly.
Practice
Working with a partner, rewrite the following sentences with many details to help paint a descriptive
picture. Write another sentence or two to paint a different picture.
1. A man was going up a hill.

An old man was slowly making his way up a steep hill.

A middle-aged man in hiking gear was climbing up the Ardmore Hill.

An elderly hiker, who looked exhausted, paused to catch his breath on his way
up the hill.
2. The child called his mother’s name.
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3. The boy asked the girl out on a date.
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4. Create your own images. Use your imagination, and use a variety of the points covered above.
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Sample Descriptive Paragraph
Christmas Eve, 1988
In our old beaten1 armchair, I sat by the fireplace watching my younger brother. The last of the fire
still sent little gifts of heat into the room from its dying embers. As the antique clock above the
mantelpiece2 struck eleven, I saw my brother’s toes curl in anticipation. Otherwise motionless, he lay
outstretched on the floor, his head gently resting in his impatient hands. At the sound of the chimes3,
his drooping eyes snapped back into focus. The object of his affection4 lay wrapped in red and green, a
frustratingly shapeless box with a tiny tear in the corner and his name written neatly in the centre. It
was not without companions. Beside it lay a mound5 of other shining presents, dancing in the glow of
the flickering lights overhead. The tree itself was a welcoming giant, its open arms strewn with stringy
tinsel6 and hanging baubles7. Here and there, tiny bulbs flashed in seasonal colours, stretching up the
branches to the highest bough8. At the summit, a pure white cherub9 was perched10, playing a lyre11 and
silently singing carols12 of joy and love to the stars above.
1. How much time passes in the paragraph?
2. Does the paragraph use time organization or spatial organization?
3. Describe the organization of the paragraph. Why do you think the author chose this pattern of
organization?
4. Discuss the descriptions used in the paragraph. Which descriptions do you like and why?
5. This paragraph emphasises warmth, companionship, and giving. How is each of these themes
shown? Why does the author emphasise these themes?
1
2
3
4
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in poor condition.
a shelf above a fireplace.
sound of bells.
the thing he was looking at.
a pile.
7
8
9
10
11
decorative, shiny string.
decorative balls.
branch.
baby angel
sitting like a bird
a small harp
12
Christmas songs
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