The Opposite of Hope is …
Rev. Dr. Fr. Stépanos Dingilian © 2012
It sounds logical, the opposite of hope is despair, hopelessness, discouragement, or
pessimism. This may sound logical but the opposite of hope is none of these. The true
opposite of hope is … blame. That’s correct: the opposite of hope is blame. Here is why.
From a Christian perspective, hope is turning God’s blessings that one has through
faith, into life inspiring and supportive loving relationships. Blame, as the opposite of
hope, is the conscious and deliberate refusal to use one’s God given blessings to create
and nurture loving relationships and meaningful results. Hope is the deliberate human
response to embrace and utilize the God bestowed creativity, while blame is the deliberate human response to reject the responsible use of the God bestowed creativity.
Through hope one embraces the fullness of life, through blame one rejects the fullness of life and
asserts the preference for an empty existence.
It is no surprise then that the story of Adam and Eve in the Bible revolves around blame. When
Adam and Eve consumed the fruit “of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,” God asked them
what happened. Interestingly, Adam did not take responsibility, but rather blamed it on Eve. Eve in
turn did not take responsibility but blamed it on the serpent. In other words, neither Adam nor Eve
took responsibility for their actions. By rejecting their ability to overcome difficult situations, they disowned their God bestowed creativity, and thus rejected the “image and likeness” of God in them. They
abdicated their ability to control their destiny by refusing to utilize their God bestowed creativity.
Did those who write the Bible through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit about three thousand years
ago know about ‘blame’ as being the key to rejecting the relationship with God? That discussion can be
left for another time, but it suffices to say that insightful people had seen that the opposite of living a
meaningful and happy life was a life constantly blaming others. They had seen that those who blame
others for their failures live miserable lives. They knew that the only way to get back to the fullness of
life, “the Garden of Eden” if you will, was to take responsibility for one’s decisions and actions. They
themselves remained hopeful. They believed that someday a ‘Savior,’ a person who takes full and perfect responsibility for his own decisions and actions, will come and show humanity how to regain that
perfection, that “image and likeness” of God in them, the guiding light in each and every person.
Here is another interesting insight: Even back then, people had noticed that blame is seen in its fullest and most toxic form in the marital relationship. The easiest and quickest way to destroy a marriage is by
spouses blaming each other for their difficulties. The only way that couples actually are able to grow and
progress in love is by taking responsibility for their intentions, thoughts, and actions, and creatively
help each other resolve obstacles that they encounter. It is apparent then that the marital relationship is
the very situation in which one’s ability to overcome blame through hope becomes most visible. This also implies
that regardless of how accomplished, powerful, or educated a person may be, if one’s marital relationship has difficulties, then that person needs to continue to grow spiritually in order to live a more
meaningful and joyous life, otherwise that person’s life will become more and more miserable.
‘Blame,’ the intentional rejection of the God bestowed ability to create and live a meaningful life, can
be overcome through ‘hope’ that leads to a happier and a more meaningful life. This contrast between
one’s ability to hope as opposed to blame is most visible and pivotal in one’s marital relationship.