Ladder of Respect. From the bottom, the rungs are as
follows:
1. Primary Respect—Getting and giving the dignity
and respect that comes from being a human being
2. Positional Respect—Getting and giving the respect
that is due a position a person holds
3. Performance Respect—Getting and giving the respect
that comes from exceptional achievement and skills
4. Personal Respect—Getting and giving the respect
that comes from having admirable character traits
“I
One of the seismic generational shifts that has
don’t have to respect her!”
That was the response. The question?
“Do you think your comments in class were
respectful to the teacher?”
The speaker was one of the teenage boys in my
broken. While most older adults hold that certain
positions—administrator, law-enforcement officer,
boss—are automatically due a certain respect, students, for the most part, possess no such conviction.
mentoring program. We were discussing responsi-
Their attitude is that any respect must be earned.
bility and self-control when he shared how he had got-
Herein lies the source of the classroom confl ict. Teach-
ten into trouble that day because of something he said
ers expect automatic respect because of their position.
in class. We talked about issues surrounding respect
But students don’t give as much weight to positional
and how we get it. It became really clear to me that the
respect, so they don’t respond to the teacher’s exertion
young men in the class and I were worlds apart when
it came to our thoughts on this topic.
While I am getting older, I have spent most my life
talking to teenagers, and I feel I have a pretty good
handle on what angers and motivates them. I’m convinced of the need to help teens check their attitudes
and actions about this important issue of respect.
But in the classroom, respect is a two-way street.
Yes, students do possess some seriously dysfunctional
attitudes concerning respect—but so do many teachers.
The crazy dance that results from students and teachers
both demanding respect but failing to defi ne what that
of authority. In fact, they may perceive it as disrespectful towards themselves. Students then give the “disrespect” back to teachers, who respond by exerting even
more authority. The cycle continues and escalates.
Breaking this cycle will require transformational
leadership by teachers. As the adults, the professionals,
and the possessors of wisdom, the responsibility for
casting a vision for change and modeling its reality
falls squarely on the shoulders of educators. I am in no
way absolving students of responsibility to adjust their
attitudes and actions—but teachers must show the way.
This transformational leadership begins with
understanding your students. Theirs is a participatory
looks like produces a chaotic, even toxic, environment
culture. Social media such as Facebook, Twitter, blogs,
in which no one gets what they want or need. Teachers
and YouTube have acclimatized students to sharing
can’t teach and students can’t learn; teachers feel unap-
their thoughts and opinions on anything and every-
preciated and students feel undervalued. Nobody wins.
thing and being part of the process. They are not just
How can we break this cycle and transform the
casual observers and passive recipients of knowledge,
classroom into a functional, productive setting where
but they may even feel it is both their right and their
real education happens?
responsibility to give input. The “sage on the stage”
We need fi rst to identify where respect breaks
down. In my book, dissedRespect, I write about the
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occurred is that the second rung of this ladder is
2010/2011 . CSE Volume 14 Number 3 . DissedRespect in the Classroom
model is no longer effective. Effective teachers adjust
to this new reality and become the “guide on the side”
who encourages and empowers students to engage
their world through critical thinking.
truth. Jesus’ teaching shone brightly against the hypo-
critical, self-serving grandstanding of His contempo-
Student culture is also relational. Youth have an
Second, Jesus demonstrated accuracy. He spoke
almost obsessive need to be connected and in community.
raries (Matthew 7:28–29).
Today’s students need to know you before they will
trust and respect you. Teacher of Distinction award
constantly lied to, schemed against, and encouraged to
winner Elona Hartjes shared the following insight on
abandon their convictions. A teacher who speaks truth,
her blog, Teachers at Risk:
who exposes and challenges cultural misinformation, will
Your students live in a world in which they are
be refreshing and inviting; that teacher will be respected.
Kids need to know that teachers are not perfect….
When I tell kids this they are a bit surprised. They
speak louder than words. What about your actions?
tell me that some teachers think and act like they
• Do you live out what you say?
are perfect. We talk about why teachers and other
• A re you fair across the board in your dealings with
people act [this way]…. These and the other numerous discussions we have interfere with the curriculum I’m supposed to be teaching. But, if we don’t
get to the bottom of whatever is disconnecting
these kids from school and life they will never learn
Third, Jesus demonstrated action. Simply put, actions
all students?
• Do you treat your students with respect and dignity?
• Do you listen?
• Do you allow disagreement and dissenting opinion?
despite my excellent lesson plans. They can’t learn
• Do you seek to understand, not just to be understood?
math or whatever until they reconnect with school
• Do you engage in power plays?
and teachers. My students are absolutely amazed
• Do you demand respect because of your position or
at what they can and do learn by the end of the
try to earn it by your competence and character?
semester. I work hard at the golden rule. (2007)
Positional authority is important, but you need to
I believe that rules without relationship lead to
continue to climb the respect ladder by performing
rebellion. While I think this has always been true, it is
well (teaching with excellence) and living out sound
especially so today. This does not mean that you need
character. You have little control over your students’
to cease to expect respect or exercise authority—but
lives outside the classroom, but you have tremendous
you do need to work at finding common, respectful
control over what they experience once they enter it.
ground with those you desire to educate.
Plant, water, weed, and nurture the seeds of respect in
your classroom and you will harvest the rewards.
This transformational leadership also requires
that you understand your source (of authority). Consider
the account in Luke 4:31–37 of Jesus’ encounter with
a demon-possessed man. How did Jesus gain the
respect of these strangers?
First, He demonstrated authenticity. The people
who heard Jesus teach immediately observed a “realness” about Him that flowed from the depth of his
character. Jesus didn’t demand respect based on His
position (although He had every right to); He was given
References
Hartjes, Elona. 2007. Respect in the classroom is
a two way street. Teachers at Risk, August 10.
http://www.teachersatrisk.com/2007/08/10/
respect-in-the-classroom-is-a-two-way-street.
Perry, Jason L. 2010. dissedRespect: Getting and giving
the props we all need and want. Aurora, CO: Oak Tree
Publications.
respect because of what people saw in Him.
Likewise, your classroom authority should not be
demanded solely because of your position or by the
fear that you will exercise that authority. Students will
submit to your authority when they experience the
seamless integration of what you say and what you do.
Jason L. Perry, MDiv, is a minister, an author, and a teacher. Nearly three
decades as a conference and retreat speaker, youth pastor, and mentor
have given him significant insight into youth culture. He is currently pastor of
outreach and discipleship at Living Springs Community Church, Glenwood,
Illinois. His latest book is available at www.oaktreepub.org/dissedrespect.
DissedRespect in the Classroom . CSE Volume 14 Number 3 . 2010/2011
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