4/26/13 4/23/2013
Early Adulthood 2:
Lecture Outline
PSYC 125
HUMAN DEVELOPMENT
4/23/2013
LECTURE 10: Early Adulthood:
•  Attraction, love, and close relationships
•  Adult lifestyles:
–  Relationship statuses:
•  single
•  cohabitation
Socioemotional Development
•  marriage
–  Parenthood
Dr. Bart Moore
[email protected]
Office hours Tuesdays 11:00-1:00
Office: 1031G
Practice question
Questions?
Material?
Course business?
•  In the United States, the most widely
recognized marker of entry into
adulthood is:
A)  holding a permanent, full-time job
B)  moving into one’s own home
C)  getting married
D)  having a child
1 4/26/13 Practice question
4/23/2013
Early Adulthood 2:
Lecture Outline
•  Most of us reach our peak physical
performance:
•  Attraction, love, and close relationships
A)  often between the ages of 15 and 22
•  Adult lifestyles:
B)  before the age of 20
C)  before the age of 30, often between
the ages of 19 and 26
D)  before the age of 22, often between
the ages of 14 and 19
–  Relationship statuses:
•  single
•  cohabitation
•  marriage
–  Parenthood
Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships
•  Attraction
–  Attraction needs Familiarity and similarity
•  Familiarity is necessary for a close relationship
to develop
•  People seek others who have similar attitudes,
values, and lifestyles
•  Consensual validation: Our own attitudes
and values are supported when someone
else’s are similar to ours
Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships
•  Attraction
–  Physical attractiveness
•  The criteria for beauty can differ
•  Standards of what is attractive change over
time and across cultures
•  Matching hypothesis: We choose partners
who match our own level of attractiveness
2 4/26/13 Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships
•  The faces of love
–  Intimacy
•  Self-disclosure and the sharing of private
thoughts
•  Erikson - Intimacy vs. isolation
•  Intimacy is finding oneself while losing
oneself in another person
•  Failure to achieve intimacy results in social
isolation
•  Intimacy and independence
•  Balance between intimacy and commitment,
and independence and freedom
Robert Sternberg’s
Triangle of Love
Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships
•  The faces of love
–  Romantic love: Passionate love, or eros
•  Strong components sexual desire and
infatuation (intense but brief passion)
–  Affectionate love: Companionate love
•  Desire for closeness & companionship
•  deep and caring affection
–  Consummate love: Strongest form of love
•  Complete love:
•  Passion, Intimacy, & Compassion
Intelligence
•  Types of intelligence?
–  Robert Sternberg’s triarchic theory of intelligence
•  Analytical intelligence
•  Judge, compare contrast
•  Creative intelligence
•  Imagine, create, invent
•  Practical intelligence
•  Practice and perform activities
3 4/26/13 Attraction, Love, and Close
Relationships
•  Falling out of love may occur if:
•  Your partner repeatedly
betrays your trust
•  Your partner is draining you
emotionally
•  Your partner does not return
your feelings
•  You become depressed or
are preoccupied with other
activities
Adult Lifestyles: Single
–  Advantages to remaining single
4/23/2013
Early Adulthood 2:
Lecture Outline
•  Attraction, love, and close relationships
•  Adult lifestyles:
–  Relationship statuses:
•  single
•  cohabitation
•  marriage
–  Parenthood
Adult Lifestyles
•  Being single: Common problems
•  Freedom to make autonomous
decisions
•  Trouble forming intimate relationships with
other adults
•  Time and ability to pursue one’s
own:
•  Confronting loneliness
•  Goals
•  Interests
•  Time to develop personal resources
to meet goals
•  Opportunities to explore new places
and try out new things
•  Finding a place in a society that is marriageoriented
–  Stereotypes associated with being single range
from:
•  “Swinging single” to the
“desperately lonely” single
•  Privacy
4 4/26/13 Adult Lifestyles:
Cohabitation
•  Cohabiting adults
The Increase in
Cohabitation in
the United States
–  Living together in a sexual
relationship without being
married
–  Reasons for cohabiting
•  Spend time together
•  Share expenses
•  Evaluate compatibility
–  BUT! Generally lower marital
satisfaction and increased
likelihood of divorce
Adult Lifestyles:
Marriage
•  Marriage
–  Marital trends
Adult Lifestyles: Marriage
•  Married adults
–  Benefits of a good marriage
•  Marriage rates in the U.S. have declined in
recent years
•  Happily married people live longer, healthier
lives
•  Marriage in adolescence is more likely to end in
divorce
•  Feel less physical and emotional stress
•  In 2011, the U.S. average age for a first
marriage climbed to 28.7 years for men and
26.5 years for women
5 4/26/13 Adult Lifestyles:
Marriage
•  Premarital education
–  Focuses on relationship advice
–  Occurs in a group
•  Different from premarital counseling
Adult Lifestyles: Marriage
–  Cultural aspects of marriage vary widely
•  Domesticity (home life) is valued in some
cultures but not others
•  Religion plays an important role in many
cultures
•  Age of marriage may depend on local rules
(16-19 in USA, 20-22 in China)
–  Ranges from 2 - 20 hours
–  Pros: Lower risk of subsequent marital distress
and divorce!
–  Cons: costs time and money
Percentage of Married Persons Age 18 and
Older with “Very Happy” Marriages
Adult Lifestyles: Marriage  Divorce
•  Divorce factors:
•  Youthful marriage
•  Low educational level
•  Low income level
•  Not having a religious affiliation
•  Having divorced parents
•  Having a baby before marriage
6 4/26/13 The Divorce Rate in Relation
to Number of Years Married
Marriage and the Family
•  Dealing with divorce
–  Divorced adults:
•  Difficulty in trusting someone else in a romantic
relationship
Marriage and the Family
–  Six pathways in exiting divorce
•  The enhancers
•  The “good-enoughs”
•  The seekers
•  The libertines
•  The competent loners
Adult Lifestyles
•  Remarried adults
–  Remarriage occurs sooner for partners who initiate
a divorce
–  BUT, second marriages are generally less stable
than first marriages
•  Have higher rates of depression but improved
financial status
•  The defeated
7 4/26/13 Marriage and the Family
Chapter Outline
•  Making marriage work!
–  7 principles of a working marriage
•  Nurturing fondness and admiration
•  Turning toward each other instead of away
• Gay and lesbian individuals also
participate in each of these
Relationship statuses:
•  Letting your partner influence you
•  (share power)
–  Single
•  Solving solvable conflicts
–  Cohabitating
•  Overcoming perpetual problems (gridlock)
–  Married (some states, countries)
•  Creating shared meaning
•  Pursue shared goals
•  Establishing ‘love maps’
•  Care about the details of your partners life
Chapter Outline
• OUTLINE
Marriage and the Family
•  Common myths about parenthood
–  The birth of a child will save a failing marriage
–  Having a child gives the parents a “second
chance” at achievement
–  Parenting is an instinct and requires no training
8 4/26/13 Marriage and the Family
Marriage and the Family
•  Gay and lesbian couples are having more children:
•  US Mothers are waiting longer for babies!
–  Average age in 2001 = 21, 2008 = 25
•  They are also having fewer children
–  women free up a significant portion of their life
spans for other endeavors
–  Men are more apt to invest a greater amount of
time in fathering
–  Parental care is often supplemented by
institutional care
Adult Lifestyles
Gender, Relationships, and
Self-Development
•  Gay and lesbian adults
–  Are similar to heterosexual relationships in
satisfactions and conflicts
–  Misconceptions:
•  Strict masculine/feminine roles are relatively
uncommon
•  Small segment of the gay male population has a
large number of sexual partners
•  Gay male couples have an open relationship
while lesbian couples usually do not
•  Gender and communication
–  Two ways of communications
•  Rapport talk: Language of conversation
•  Way of establishing connections and
negotiating relationships
•  Report talk: Talk that is designed to give
information
•  Includes public speaking
9 4/26/13 Gender, Relationships, and
Self-Development
•  Women’s development
–  Place high value on relationships and focus on
nurturing connections with others
–  It is important to maintain competency in
relationships and be self-motivated
–  More relationship-oriented
Gender, Relationships, and
Self-Development
•  Men’s development
–  Role-strain view - Male roles are contradictory and
inconsistent
•  Experience stress when they violate men’s roles
and when they act in accord with men’s roles
–  Men experience considerable stress in:
•  Health
•  Male-female relationships
•  Male-male relationships
Questions?
Material?
Course business?
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