THE LOST SELF
The Facets of Poverty in the Personal Level
Earnest L. Tan
Introduction





Poverty is likened to a dragon with many hearts; in order to slay it,
we have to attack all the hearts simultaneously (Fr. Jet Villarin, SJ)
Some of my women friends find the metaphor of slaying a dragon too
violent as an imagery
This metaphor originates from knights of old who bravely and
courageously took on the challenge to slay the dragon that has been
threatening the town’s safety
This conjures up images of Don Quixote and his quest—“the
impossible dream”
Today we call on our idealism in our aspiration to work towards
eradicating poverty on the personal level
The Context of the Person Today
-
Poverty: migration, urbanization, upward mobility, greed
exploitation
Age of Specialization, age of fragmentation?
Technological advancement?
Environmental abuse
Threats to the Family





Mary Pipher describes families today as “houses without walls” where
we are threatened by internal as well as external forces
She encourages us then to make a firm commitment to protect our
families or suffer the consequences of seeing many of them breaking
down
Families are our first “holding environment” from which our
personhood is secured, shaped and formed
Sadly many families today that are beset by the many changes in
society fail to provide us with the essential foundation for healthy
adulthood
This is where we eventually experience poverty on the psychic level
Psychological Poverty





Often I have heard in sharings: “We were poor, but we were never
deprived of love.”
Physical poverty per se does not cause psychological poverty
It is actually psychological poverty that somehow brings this about
It is our own wounding—intergenerational, personal or contextual—
that inflicts wounding also
The challenge therefore is never to pass on to the next generation our
past (and present) wounding thereby bringing about an “improvement”
of the race
The Essential Foundations



In my book on parenting, Your Greatest Gift for Your Greatest Love, I
described four essential gifts that adults as parents need to bequeath
to their children for their healthy functioning in adulthood
These are:
- A healthy sense of self-worth, forming a ‘home’ within
- A healthy sexuality that serves as foundation for loving and intimacy
- Coping and resiliency capacities to face life and her many challenges
- Character, living with honor and integrity
Let us explore how an absence of these foundations become a form of
Psychological—and ultimately Spiritual—Poverty
Wounding in Self-Worth



The foundation of self-worth should lead us to believe: I am beautiful!
I am capable! I am lovable!
Without these, we suffer from-- The Poverty of Inadequacy and Emptiness (v.s. the Wealth of Five
A’s—Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, Allowing—where
we are emotionally filled and therefore is never needy, dependent or
attached)
- The Poverty of Self-Doubts (v.s. the Wealth of Self-Confidence that
acknowledges our gifts and potentials to fulfil our Sacred Contract
with God)
- The Poverty of Entitlement (v.s. the Wealth of Healthy Self-Love
that freely gives love as well as receives love)
Without self-worth, we question our origin of being created in the
image and likeness of God and fail to shine as we should
Wounding in Sexuality



The foundation of a healthy sexuality should lead us to form deep,
loving and meaningful relationships
Without these, we suffer from-- The Poverty of Dominance (v.s. the Wealth of Mutual Respect and
Gender Equality)
- The Poverty of Alienation, Isolation and Loneliness (v.s. the
Wealth of Solitude—‘One is a whole number!’ —and Intimacy—free of
‘masks and defenses’)
- The Poverty of Abuse and Exploitation (v.s. the Wealth of
Reverence, forming relationships of an ‘I-Thou’ than ‘I-It’ nature)
Without a healthy sexuality, we betray God’s desire for us to have a
full life in communion with others
Wounding in Resiliency



The foundation of coping and resiliency helps us find strengths amidst
adversities and emerge even more whole
Without these, we suffer from-- The Poverty of Victimhood (v.s. the Wealth of Personal Power, able
to take charge of our lives through reconstruction)
- The Poverty of Cynicism and Hopelessness (v.s. the Wealth of
Hope and Optimism)
- The Poverty of Faithlessness (v.s. the Wealth of Trust and
Surrender in a loving God who sees us and our Soul’s journey
through)
Without coping and resiliency skills, we live in darkness and drama in
place of reconstructing and celebrating our lives, including our pains
(aka living out the Paschal Mystery)
Wounding in Character


The foundation of character creates citizens and leaders who will build
a better society and future thru global spirituality
Without these, we suffer from-- The Poverty of Incivility (v.s. the Wealth of Honor and
Authenticity; kids today need real heroes!)
- The Poverty of Accumulation and Greed (v.s. the Wealth of Living
Simply and of Caring and Sharing especially for the environment in
consideration of the next and future generation)
- The Poverty of Exclusion (v.s. the Wealth of Inclusivity and Love—
everyone has a place in the table of God!)

Without character, we destroy our “common home” in place of
manifesting the Kin-dom of God in our midst
Psychological Poverty Breeds Spiritual Poverty





Our psychological life is naturally connected to our spiritual life
With psychological poverty, we also witness to spiritual poverty
Let us explore some of the spiritual poverty today that in turn is
creating the “context” from which the human person is being shaped
and formed
Thus we recognize a kind of cycle that is being permeated
We must therefore make a concerted effort to shift from a Cycle of
Violence, Death and Destruction to a Cycle of Reverence, Life and
Recreation
Spiritual Poverty

Some indicators of Spiritual Poverty are:
- We no longer treat everything as sacred (“wala na tayong sinasanto”)
- We lose our sense of interconnectedness to All: to God, to the
Universe, to our Indigenous origin, to our Soul
- We become Anthropocentric—arrogant in possessing and owning
(even our own lives) in place of realizing that we are all just stewards
- We are no longer whole but fragmented (thereby experiencing
constant civil wars within)
- We become indifferent (“manhid; pusong bato”) to the cries of the
poor, the marginalized and even nature (“bingi sa kanilang
pananaghoy”)
- We no longer have a conscience; we promote Individualism (‘what’s
in it for me?’); Entitlement (‘I am first, I deserve more!’); Hedonism
(‘do what feels good!’) and Minimalism (‘what’s the least I can do?’)
- We partake in a “Culture of Impunity” in place of a “Culture of
Integrity”
- We do not believe in “forever,” not so much as permanence (as
nothing is), but the ability to commit and abide faithfully to that
commitment
In Conclusion
Friedrich Nietzsche analyzed three stages in human growth and human
history:
Stage One: The First Four Millenia
CAMEL
Just sits there, moans and takes it
Stage Two: Since Drafting of the Magna Carta
LION
Saying “no” to poverty, tyranny, plague, ignorance
Stage Three: Henceforth
THE CHILD REBORN
Saying “yes”--beyond no, take more affirming and positive actions
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens
can change the world.” – Margaret Mead
“Leaders imagine an inspiring future and strive to shape it rather than
passively watching the future happen around them.” -- Chris Lowney