I-1
FOUR GUYS GOING TO THE GAME
Or
FACE-OFF ON 7TH STREET
A play in one act
I-2
CHARACTER DESCRIPTION LIST
Daryl
Justin
Rick
Charlie
Scalper
male
male
male
male
male
spoken
spoken
spoken
spoken
spoken
30-35
30-35
30-35
30-35
20-25
SETTING
Along 7th Street, Washington, D.C., a February evening, the present.
lead
lead
lead
lead
supporting
I-3
Act I, Scene 1: On the sidewalk in front of the Verizon Center, on 7th Street NW,
Washington, D.C.
(On a Tuesday evening in February, around 5:30, two men emerge from a Metro station on the
corner and walk along to get in line to get into the Verizon Center for a hockey game that will
start at 7 p.m. Daryl is about 30 years old, six-feet-tall, clean-cut, with thick dark hair. He is
wearing what appears to be higher-end designer winter clothing. His friend Justin is around the
same age, two or three inches shorter, with a neatly trimmed beard. He is wearing a long winter
coat over what appears to be a suit or some sort of business wear. Both appear to be in pretty
good physical condition. They chat as they approach the end of the line.)
DARYL
I swear, I hate these long lines every time you want to go someplace in this town! It's like being
at Disneyland ... Without Snow White!
JUSTIN
Yeah, and we wouldn't want to miss Snow White!
(Daryl taps Justin on the arm as they walk slowly toward the end of the line.)
DARYL
No I wouldn’t! She’s one of Walt’s great characters … and that’s saying something! Anyway, I
told you we should’ve stopped for a drink first. I don’t want to be in this line too long … not
until it starts moving, anyway.
JUSTIN
Well, Daryl, you know you have to get here early when the Penguins are in town.
DARYL
Is that because half the people in the arena … male and female … have a thing for Sidney?
JUSTIN
Maybe … but I don’t think every hockey fan comes to the games to gawk at the stud muffins on
the ice. Some do, but …
DARYL
Okay, okay! Sorry I brought it up!
(They both laugh. They reach the apparent end of the line, where they take their place behind
two other men. These two are around the same age as Daryl and Justin. One, named Rick, is
wearing a Washington Capitals jersey over a hoodie, with camo pants and sneakers. He's skinny,
and shorter than Justin. The other, named Charlie, has a bit of a gut, and is wearing a beat-up
winter coat over his jeans. He’s wearing a winter hat that looks as if it was bought in the 1980s,
and it has a Georgetown logo on it.)
I-4
CHARLIE
You know, I really hate this shit. Waiting in line. It ain’t like this is a fuckin’ Springsteen concert
or somethin’.
RICK
Well, dude, that’s life in the big city these days. It wasn’t that long ago when you could just go
right inside if you had a ticket. Not anymore.
CHARLIE
I officially declare that this officially sucks!
(They both laugh. Rick notices Daryl and Justin taking their place behind Rick and Charlie in the
line, and he nods as they do. Then he turns around to face forward, where something in the
distance gets his attention. He nudges Charlie.)
RICK
Hey man … look over there!
(Charlie looks, but isn’t sure what Rick is talking about.)
CHARLIE
Where?
RICK
Right over there!
(Rick points, and Charlie chuckles.)
CHARLIE
Oh, yeah … I gotcha … Bimbo alert!
(They both laugh. Daryl hears what they said, rolls his eyes, and nudges Justin. Rick and Charlie
keep pointing and laughing at some woman nearby. Daryl talks quietly to Justin.)
DARYL
You hear that? Bimbo alert?
JUSTIN
Yeah … well, you know, it’s like you said, guys get antsy when they have to stand in these lines.
.
(They start to talk more loudly.)
DARYL
Well, things could be worse. At least it isn’t snowing.
I-5
JUSTIN
What is it with you and the snow?
(Daryl taps Justin on the arm.)
DARYL
Okay, okay! Knock it off with the Snow White stuff. There’s such a thing as carrying it too far,
you know? I wish I’d never said it …
JUSTIN
`Cause you’re afraid that one of these days, I’m gonna call you “Snow White” in public?
(Daryl glares at him.)
DARYL
I wouldn’t if I were you!
(A ticket scalper walks by. He speaks in the typically loud, rhythmic scalper voice.)
SCALPER
Who needs tickets? Who needs tickets?
(Daryl glares at him as he passes.)
DARYL
Like we’d be standing in this line if we needed tickets!
(Rick hears this, turns around, and smiles at Daryl. Charlie looks back, pretending to look
beyond them, but really looking at Daryl and Justin. He looks back at Rick and nods slightly.)
RICK
So … tell me … you got any action on this?
CHARLIE
Action? On this? You mean on this game? What, are you fuckin’ nuts or somethin’? Since when
did I start betting on hockey?
RICK
I just thought I’d ask!
CHARLIE
Naw, you oughta know better than that! The only thing I got going tonight is the Kentucky game.
RICK
Kentucky? Basketball?
I-6
CHARLIE
No … fuckin’ Kentucky badminton! Of course it’s fuckin’ basketball! It’s Kentucky, ain’t it?
RICK
Yeah, but you could be more specific.
(Charlie shakes his head in apparent disbelief.)
CHARLIE
Why would I bet on? … Yes, it’s basketball! They’re playing Murray State or one of those teams
down there … you know, the ones they always blow out.
(Rick, who knew all along he was talking about basketball, lets the joke rest.)
RICK
So you must be layin’ some points on that one!
CHARLIE
Boy … with insight like that, you oughta be working in Vegas! … But yeah, I’m layin' eighteen
points or somethin’ like that. But Kentucky usually covers … unless one of the players is on the
take or somethin’.
RICK
Wouldn’t surprise me!
(The scalper walks past again, in the opposite direction from earlier.)
SCALPER
Anybody need tickets? Anybody lookin’ for tickets?
CHARLIE
Looks like somebody’s getting desperate!
(Rick and Charlie laugh. Meanwhile, Daryl starts to look across the street. There's a large theater
there, and he stares at it for a moment, then nods slowly. Justin notices and smiles.)
JUSTIN
Something over there bringing back some memories?
(Dustin nods and sighs.)
DUSTIN
I suppose … Why not? There were a few hopes expended over there … expended and dashed, I
guess.
I-7
JUSTIN
That’s what I thought. When was that, anyway?
DARYL
The audition? Wow … I guess it was eight or nine months ago now … Seems like only
yesterday, though.
(He stares across the street.)
DARYL
I mean … it was a fun experience, you know?
(Justin nods.)
DARYL
But still, I’m disappointed at how it turned out. I mean, it was interesting to go through it … it
was all very, very professional. But then again, quite daunting as well.
JUSTIN
What did you audition for?
DARYL
They were doing a production of Henry the Fifth.
JUSTIN
So you went over there and read some Shakespeare?
DARYL
Yes, a little.
JUSTIN
Do you remember any of it?
DARYL
Not off the top of my head … why?
JUSTIN
Nothing … I was just thinking …
(Daryl stares at him. He crouches down so they are at eye level.
DARYL
Thinking about what?
(Justin giggles, then stares at Daryl.)
I-8
JUSTIN
I don’t know … maybe you … well, maybe you should’ve done something from “Boys in the
Band.”
(Daryl stares at him as if he wants to hit him. Justin laughs and looks the other way. Daryl
grimaces and starts to look ahead. Rick looks back, not sure he heard what he did. Charlie
doesn’t notice.)
DARYL
You … You’re really an asshole, you know that?
(Justin laughs. The scalper can be heard faintly in the distance.)
SCALPER
Anybody sellin’ tickets?
(Rick nudges Charlie, having heard what Justin said. He notices that Charlie seems to be looking
for somebody.)
RICK
Are you waiting for somebody?
CHARLIE
Well, not really, but … uh … do you know Lori?
(Rick smiles, then makes a gesture suggesting they are talking about a large-breasted woman.)
RICK
You mean … that Lori?
CHARLIE
Yes … That Lori!
(They both make the same gesture and laugh.)
CHARLIE
That Lori! I know she had tickets for tonight’s game. But she said she wasn’t sure if she was
coming. She said she wanted to come to the game, but she wasn’t sure if her boyfriend was
gonna be able to get off work in time.
RICK
You mean her fiancé?
CHARLIE
Well, yeah … but whatever he is, you know he ain’t gonna show up here until he goes home and
puts on his Penguins jersey.
I-9
RICK
Yeah, he’s a big Penguins fan.
CHARLIE
That’s just one of the things I don’t like about him.
RICK
Well, to each his or her own, I guess.
CHARLIE
But you gotta admit, Rick … he is kind of a dick!
RICK
Yeah, but who am I to say? Lori obviously likes him.
CHARLIE
Go figure that.
(Rick glares at Charlie briefly.)
RICK
I’d rather not, if it’s okay with you.
CHARLIE
What … hey wait a minute? Don’t tell me … you ain't got a thing for Lori, do ya?
RICK
Dude … don’t go there …
(Charlie laughs and punches Rick lightly on the arm.)
CHARLIE
Well, what the hell, Rick … All I know is, half the guys in the office would … you know …
RICK
No I don’t.
CHARLIE
Well, I mean … each guy’s got two of somethin', right? Half of them would donate one of those
two … you know … just to spend a night with her.
RICK
Oh … You mean … like a kidney or something?
I-10
CHARLIE
No … I ain’t talking about kidneys! You know what I mean!
(They both laugh.)
CHARLIE
Boy, the way you twist things! But anyway, I’m just sayin’ … Lori is pretty popular.
RICK
Yeah, she is.
CHARLIE
And it bums out a lot of those guys that Lori …
(He makes the breast gesture again.)
CHARLIE
… that Lori is engaged to such a jerk!
(Rick shrugs and looks at Charlie.)
RICK
Ain’t that how it always goes, though?
CHARLIE
Yeah … and why is that?
RICK
Dude … don’t go there …
CHARLIE
You mean you don’t know?
(Rick stares at him again.)
RICK
Well Charlie, let’s put it this way. I think you know that I ain’t exactly the guy to ask what
makes women tick, or why guys like him get to bang women like Lori.
(Charlie stares at Rick for a moment. Rick stares back. Charlie breaks it off and looks away.)
CHARLIE
Yeah … you’re right Rick. I guess … I guess we ain’t.
I-11
(The line finally begins to move. The men all walk slowly forward. Daryl's phone rings. He
looks at the caller ID, rolls his eyes slightly, then talks into the phone.)
DARYL
Hello ... Yeah, we're finally moving. Who? (Slowly) Rea-lly? That's interesting. You got the
number for me? Good. Okay. I'll talk to you later.
(Daryl disconnects and puts the phone in his pocket.)
DARYL
Wow … that’s interesting.
JUSTIN
What was that all about?
DARYL
Well, I hate to jinx it.
JUSTIN
Jinx what?
DARYL
Well, you know I haven’t heard from my agent in a long time … I figured he most have moved
to Mongolia or someplace, for all the contact I haven’t had with him recently. Anyway,
according to my agent, there’s some interest in me from some company in New York.
JUSTIN
Company? What kind of company?
DARYL
Some kind of theater company. I don’t know if I told you, but I went up there and read for a gig
recently, and I guess it’s pretty obvious I’m not getting that part. But from what my agent found
out, some woman from this theater company happened to be there and saw me, and she
apparently knows somebody, who knows somebody else, and that somebody mentioned my
name to another somebody … and anyway, they want me to come up to New York next week to
talk to them.
JUSTIN
Wow … congratulations, man!
(Justin puts his arm around Daryl for a moment. Meanwhile, Rick has taken note of the
conversation and smiles back at Daryl.)
I-12
RICK
Yes, congratulations!
(Daryl looks at Rick.)
DARYL
Oh … well … yes. … thank you! But I’m not sure congratulations are in order just yet!
RICK
I guess I shouldn’t have been eavesdropping.
DARYL
No, that’s OK … I guess I was pretty loud.
RICK
Well, sometimes we all get excited, provided we have something to get excited about …
(Rick points toward the arena and nods toward Charlie.)
RICK
You ought to see him when he gets in there!
. (Charlie, noticing that Rick is talking to the men behind him, joins in.)
CHARLIE
Oh yeah? Well, right now, the most exciting thing is that this fucking line is finally moving!
(The three other men laugh. Rick looks back at Daryl and Justin. The line moves slowly.)
RICK
So, I assume you guys are Caps fans?
JUSTIN
Yeah we are … big time! But I guess we just don’t dress the part …
(Rick puffs out his Capitals jersey.)
RICK
You mean like this? Hey, it ain’t so wonderful … every time these guys change uniforms, I gotta
buy new stuff. I still got the old black ones they wore a couple of years ago.
JUSTIN
An Olie Kolzig jersey, I bet?
I-13
RICK
Yeah, how’d you guess?
(They all laugh.)
JUSTIN
Well, you always gotta dress the part, right?
(He turns to Daryl and taps him on the arm.)
JUSTIN
You like that? “Dress the part?”
DARYL
Yeah, real funny!
(Daryl shrugs, and Rick and Justin laugh.)
JUSTIN
But yeah, of course we’re Caps fans. Gotta be if you live in D.C., right? Well, actually, we live
in Alexandria … but you know …
RICK
Yeah, I know. It’s the same with us, except that we live in Mayrland … Montgomery County.
But anyway, we’ll all be inside in a couple of minutes. And I definitely gotta get a beer before I
sit down!
CHARLIE
(To Rick)
Me too … but remember, the first one’s on you!
RICK
We’ll see …
(All four laugh. The line moves slowly and Rick and Charlie are almost ready to go into the
arena lobby.)
RICK
(To Daryl)
Well, anyway, good luck. It’s kind of interesting, isn’t it?
DARYL
What’s that?
I-14
RICK
You know, you getting a call from your agent while you’re in line to get into the hockey game.
(Daryl seems puzzled for a moment, then nods and smiles when he realizes what Rick means.)
DARYL
Agent? Oh, you thought that was … no, that wasn’t my agent.
RICK
But I just thought …
DARYL
Yeah, I guess it sounded like that. I kept saying “my agent this and my agent that.” But I wasn’t
actually talking to my agent. I was talking to my wife. She called me to tell me that my agent had
called …
(Justin puts his hand to his face, then pulls a cell phone out of his pocket.)
JUSTIN
Shit, thanks for reminding me! I’d better call my wife and tell her we’re about to go into this
game …
(Justin starts his call, talking inaudibly into his phone. Rick and Charlie glance at each other.
Each looks surprised. Just as they’re about to go in, Rick extends his hand to Daryl.)
RICK
Well, anyway, best of luck! My name’s Rick, by the way.
DARYL
Hey, Rick, nice to meet you. I’m Daryl, and this guy calling his wife is Justin …
(Daryl shakes Rick’s hand, and he and Justin nod to each other as Justin talks on the phone
quietly.)
DARYL
We’ve been buddies since high school.
(Charlie turns around and offers his hand to Rick.)
CHARLIE
Guess I should join in the fun.
(Charlie and Daryl shake hands. Justin reaches out and Charlie shakes hands with him.)
I-15
RICK
Oh, shit, I always forget to introduce you, don’t I?
(Charlie glares at Rick, then nods.)
CHARLIE
Yeah, you do!
RICK
Well then … Daryl … Justin … allow me to introduce you to Charlie.
(They all nod, having already shaken hands. Justin disconnects from his call.)
JUSTIN
Glad we got behind two Caps fans tonight … Couldn’t have put up with being behind a couple of
Penguins fans.
(They all laugh. Rick opens the door and Charlie goes in first. Rick looks back at Justin.)
RICK
No way! I couldn’t have lived with him the past three years if he was a Penguins fan! I’d have
gone into the closet and burned his Sidney Crosby jersey!
(Rick laughs. Daryl and Justin look at each other. Rick stops and clarifies what he said.)
RICK
Maybe I should have … I mean … it’s not a big deal, I guess. We’re just four guys standing here
waiting to get into a hockey game, right? But I suppose I should tell you … not that you guys
care … but Charlie, he’s my … you know … Charlie’s my … my partner!
(Daryl and Justin seem a bit surprised, but don't say anything. Rick leans toward them as he's
about to enter the arena.)
RICK
And you know the funny part, guys?
(Daryl shakes his head.)
RICK
I’m standing here in line across the street from the Shakespeare theatre company, and there’s an
actual, live actor in the line behind me, and … well … the funny thing is, I guess I give people
the impression that I ain’t interested in the theater and things like that. But I am.
I-16
(Rick chuckles and shakes his head.)
But I can’t blame people for thinking that. I mean, I never go to anything like that. And why is
that?
(Rick points toward the inside of the arena, where Charlie is.)
It’s because I can’t get this son of a bitch to go anywhere with me except to these damn hockey
games!
(They all laugh and follow Charlie into the arena. After they get inside, the scalper wanders by
one more time.)
SCALPER
Anybody need tickets? Anybody sellin’ tickets?
(The scalper, finding no takers, stops, looks around, grimaces and shakes his head.)
SCALPER
Man, I ain’t never gonna understand these God-damned hockey fans!
(He makes a waving-off motion with one hand and walks away. Curtain)