march 14 newsletter - Vernon Flying Club

COPA Flight 65
Hangar News
Vernon Flying Club
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MARCH 2014
THE LEN NEUFELD BURSARY PRESENTATION
The Len Neufeld Bursary is an award given
annually to a deserving under-graduate pilot and/or
aircraft maintenance engineer to further their
training. First presented in 2009, the bursary was
raised by the members of the Vernon Flying Club to
honour the memory of Len Neufeld, a respected and
well-liked member who “passed the fix outbound” for
the last time in November, 2008 after several months
of failing health.
Len shown standing in the cockpit of his aircraft having just flown
members of Katimavik, a Canadian Government-sponsored youth
service program.
Len’s successful career in aviation started like that of many pilots – by instructing others how to fly.
This was followed by a period of “bush flying” before he joined Canadian Pacific Airlines where he flew
for many years, finally ending his career with Air Canada.
A one-time vice-president of the Vernon Flying Club, he was an enthusiastic supporter of the “Young
Eagles” venture (now COPA for Kids), volunteering his time and his aircraft introducing youngsters to the
wonderful world of aviation. In addition, he was concerned with the aviation community at large and
participated in air search and rescue activities through the Provincial Emergency Program Air and the
Civil Air Search and Rescue Association (PEPAir/CASARA).
To date, there have been seven recipients of the bursary: Trevor McKay in 2009, Rafael Bachmann in
2010, Chelsey Girling in 2011, Aaron Whitney and Lyle Smith in 2012, and Nicholas Langis Cody St. Onge
in 2013. The 2014 bursary has been presented to Dennis Peach and Curtis Kovacs.
Dennis Peach is in the first year of his training to become an aircraft maintenance engineer, but has
been interested in aviation from a young age. Indeed, he worked at Kelowna airport as a ramp attendant
and started pilot training in 2005, managing to accumulate sixteen hours before the cost of training
became prohibitive. Still wanting to be associated with aviation, Dennis researched various careers and
come to the conclusion that aircraft maintenance offered to best route to realize his dream. After
graduation, he is interested in working with rotary wing aircraft, but will be happy to be involved with
any facet of his trade. Curtis Kovacs took his first flight in his step-father’s Skymaster at the age of four;
that trip started a love affair with aviation that they both share to this day.
Currently living in Revelstoke, Curtis will graduate from high school in June of this year. He has spent
the last twelve months working on his private licence; his flight test was completed last October and he
plans on completing the written examination this spring. Curtis has been closely involved with aviation
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since he was fourteen, has accompanied his step-father on fire-spotting
missions, and is no stranger to shoveling snow and mowing lawns at
the Revelstoke airport. Desirous of remaining in aviation, following
graduation, Curtis plans to acquire a commercial licence and attend an
AME course at SAIT in Calgary. His long term goal is to accede to the
helm of his step-father’s company.
Recipients Curtis Kovacs (l) and Dennis Peach (r) are shown flanking Mayor Sawatsky
with their awards in hand, while VFC President Bill Wilkie looks on.
HERC AT REST
This RCAF CC-130 left Rivers MB on 15
April, 1966 and got as far as North
Battleford, SK before running into a
problem that resulted in a gear-up forcedlanding in a stubble field. The accident
report indicates that the forward cargo
door opened in flight (from the picture, I
would say that it actually departed the
aircraft). The number one engine could
not subsequently be shut down probably
due to foreign object damage (FOD).
There were no injuries. I talked to a crew
member in Namao several years after the
incident and he said that you could hear
the stubble against the belly as the aircraft
settled in!
A DRY SERMON
A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd
take it and pour it into the river.' With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and
pour it into the river.' And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd
take it and pour it into the river.' Sermon complete, he sat down with an air of accomplishment.
The song leader stood up, looked at the minister, and smiling broadly, announced: 'For our closing song, let us
sing Hymn number 365; 'Shall We Gather at the River.'
CRACKIN’ WISE
One day when I was working the south arrival sector at Denver TRACON, traffic was getting backed up, and I had to
start issuing speed reductions to the arrivals on initial contact. One United pilot took exception to being slowed so far
from the airport and asked: "Approach, just how far out do you show us, anyway?"
I responded that he was 45 miles out on my radar. Then to lighten the tension, I said: "I show you right over my
house."
After a few seconds, he keyed up and said: "Approach, there's a strange car in your driveway."
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MARCH 2014
CAPTAIN LEN’S LEGACY
President Bill Wilkie welcomes friends and club members to the sixth annual presentation of
the Len Neufeld Bursary. The ceremony was held in the terminal of the Vernon Airport – our
thanks to airport manager Ian Adkins for the use of the building. Bill welcomed those in
attendance and then reviewed the purpose of the bursaries and gave a brief resumé about each
recipient.
(L) Dennis Peach is an aircraft
maintenance engineering student here at
the Vernon Airport. Under Okanagan
College, the program is a partnership with
the Northern Lights College in Dawson
Creek, BC and the Vernon Airport
Training Council and offers a training for
Pre-Apprentice Aircraft maintenance
Engineers. This 70-week Co-op program
is designed to take a
student with little or no previous
experience in the aircraft maintenance trade and supply him/her with the necessary skills to seek employment in that
industry as an apprentice maintenance engineer.
(R) Curtis Kovacs took his training here in Vernon
under the tutelage of Kathleen Poynton, owner of
Full Moon Air Services. With his flight test behind
him, Curtis can now concentrate on passing the
written examination and preparing himself for the
next step in his aviation career: undertaking
training for a commercial licence. And, when he
has the time, he plans to emulate Dennis and
acquire his maintenance licence; probably in
Calgary.
Above, Vernon mayor Robert
Sawatsky addresses the guests and
congratulates the honourees on their
accomplishments.
Dennis (far left) and Curtis are shown
receiving their awards from President
Wilkie, and, in Curtis’ case, a smiling
Kathleen Poynton celebrates with him.
All presentation pictures courtesy Barry Harsent
CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY…
One day when I was working the south arrival sector at Denver TRACON, traffic was getting backed up, and I had to start issuing speed
reductions to the arrivals on initial contact. One United pilot took exception to being slowed so far from the airport and asked:
"Approach, just how far out do you show us, anyway?"
I responded that he was 45 miles out on my radar. Then to lighten the tension, I said: "I show you right over my house."
After a few seconds, he keyed up and said: "Approach, there's a strange car in your driveway."
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Some time ago, I wrote a little story about my sad experience with a DeHavilland Chipmunk. Friend John Dicker offers his own
recollection of an interesting day (21 Sep 62) in which the “Chippie” nearly gets the upper hand at RCAF Station Centralia while he
was undergoing flying training.
FIRST SOLO
To the best of my recollection, the weather that Friday was ideal for flying: a sunny, not too warm Western Ontario
fall day, with light westerly winds. The previous day I had completed Lesson Plans 8 and 9 in Chipmunk 020 with
my Instructor, F/O Vern Peppard. It was entirely possible that today could be the day I went solo for the first time
ever. You knew that you were getting close to solo time by the number of hours flown up to that point in time and
how well you thought things were going in general. The decision to send you solo was, of course, totally up to your
Instructor.
Off we went in 071 for an hour of dual, after which I would
have a grand total of 9 hours and 15 minutes flying time.
Having completed the hour of dual, I was instructed by
Vern to land, taxi back to the ramp, but, not to shut-down.
I knew right then and there that today was the big day!
I pulled into the hangar line, stopped and put on the brakes.
Vern opened the canopy, climbed- out, secured the back
seat harness, closed the canopy half-way and, before
jumping down off the wing onto the tarmac, said to me:
"away you go: one circuit only and then bring her back and
shut her down" (one circuit was the rule at PFS for a first
solo).
18071 in US livery
I was now completely alone in the aircraft and about to go flying solo, as
Pilot-in-Command, for the first time in my life. It is hard to describe one's
feelings at a time like this, so I won't try. I will leave it to your
imagination.
“Centralia Ground, Air Force 071, taxi, OVER.” “ Air Force 071,
Centralia Ground, you are cleared to taxi Runway two two, winds two
six zero at five, altimeter two niner niner six. Call Tower on one twenty
six two when ready for take-off”. “Roger, Air Force 071". And away I
went, to the run-up position at the end of Runway 22-the shortest and
narrowest of all the runways on the airfield! Having completed the runup, I switched to Tower frequency and obtained take-off clearance. The
moment had arrived! With 071 perfectly lined up with the centre line, I
opened the throttle. Flying speed was reached quickly and off she flew. I
was airborne! The first thing I did, as I'm sure most other first-time
soloists did also, was look back at the empty back seat only to see no
one there! That's when it really strikes you that you are now "it" and the
only way you are going to get down again is if "you" land the aircraft.
A youthful John Dicker
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Normal circuit procedures followed with clearance to land full-stop being given on turning final. I was high in
altitude at that point and I knew it, so I lowered a notch of flap. At this point I should have realized that if I continued
my approach at my present speed and rate of descent, I would touch down well past halfway down the runway.
Nevertheless, I continued at the same speed and rate of descent, determined to land 071 on my first attempt. I should
have overshot at this point, but foolishly I continued on. Finally I touched-down, about three-quarters the way down
Runway 22. Much to my horror I could see the end of the runway approaching very rapidly.
It was too late to initiate a touch-and-go and I was going too fast to effectively apply the brakes without nosing over. I
decided to execute a "controlled" ground loop (what I prefer to call it when telling the story). This was done through
the judicious (knowingly or otherwise) application of brakes and rudder. The aircraft juddered around in an arc to a
halt, in a cloud of dust, just to the left of and pointing back down the runway. The next thing I remember is the Tower
asking me if I was OK, to which I happily replied "yes". I was then instructed to taxi back to the ramp and shut down
which I gratefully did. Although time has faded my memory on this point, I believe the traditional post-solo
congratulatory "soaking" was administered by the other members of my course as I made my way to the Blister to
sign-in after shutting-down.
Centralia in 2009
What I did not know at the time was that it was traditional for the
Instructor to watch the student's first solo from the Control Tower. No
doubt Vern and the Controller watched my first solo landing attempt with
great anxiety and serious doubt as to its successful outcome. Great credit
is due to the Controller that day for not instructing me to shut-down after
landing and for not dispatching a crash truck, as he was well within his
right to do under the circumstances. To have done so would surely have
shattered the confidence of the student pilot and no doubt have an adverse effect on his performance for the rest of
the Course. Notwithstanding, it was indeed fortunate that the aircraft did not sustain any damage whatsoever due, in
all likelihood, to the fact that the ground loop was in fact "controlled" and no damage was done to the wing tip,
propeller or undercarriage. This the Controller would have observed from the Tower through his binoculars after
the dust settled and before he instructed me to taxi back to the ramp. I often reflect on that Controller's insight and
wisdom in the actions he took that day, and credit him in no small way with the success I ultimately had in
completing the Primary Flying Course at Centralia in Dec 1962.
So, to my PFS Flight Instructor, F/O Vern Peppard and to the
Centralia Air Traffic Controller on duty in the Tower that
day, I say "thank you" and often think about how you so
professionally handled my "incident", thereby contributing in
no small way to my ultimate success in earning my Army
Pilot Wings the following Apr at the Army Aviation Tactical
Training School, CJATC, Rivers Camp, Manitoba.
At right, Chipmunk 18020, now rebadged as N4KV, is currently
owned and operated by Flight Research Inc (FRI), located in
Mojave California. President of FRI is Nadia Roberts, an exCanadian Armed Forces Captain (AERE). N4KV is currently
used for formation and spin training in conjunction with courses
run at FRI's sister organization in Mojave, the National Test Pilot
School (NTPS).
Photo was taken in March ‘ 08.
.
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MARCH 2014
NORTH AMERICAN CROSS COUNTRY FLIGHT
Part One by Ken Armstrong
Evaluating services in Canada and USA
My wife, Linda, and I toured across sections of Canada and U.S. on a return trip to southern
Ontario during the fall of 2004. Actually, the Prairie Provinces thought it was winter – more on
that later. We found a number of excellent service providers and of course learned a few things as
we enjoyed our aviation freedom and wish to pass these aviation tidbits on. This narrative will
hop around considerably as there are many topics to consider and comment on with respect to our
35 flight segments.
Weather was good as we left our home in Victoria.
The cross country experience began at Victoria, B.C. where we departed after the Labour Day
holidays in our Diamond Xtreme motorglider for some soaring around Hope and Chilliwack. We
then proceeded to the Okanagan for
visitations with friends in the area. The flight direct
over the Coastal Range was blessed with CAVU
conditions and light tailwinds – can life get any
better? Yes, it can. We landed at Kelowna and
parked at the relatively new FBO, Top Flight Fueling, where the aircraft quickly drew
interested spectators. (The long wings and sleek lines do that a lot).
Although we are over the rugged Coast Range, we are always within gliding distance
of a landing field.
Manager Dean Thorlakson and staff members, Rob Tiller and Sherri Finch, met the
aircraft as we taxied in to dispense every manner of service we could consider. Linda and I were impressed by the courteous support
staff and their detailed attention to our needs. They allotted a prime tie-down spot that provided easy access to the taxiway for our
nearly 55 foot wingspan and planned their ramp area to minimize congestion while maximizing manoeuvring room.
Even though we did not buy fuel from them (we burn autogas in the Rotax) they
provided a deeply discounted tie down rate and we are appreciative. Perhaps a large
contributor to their service level is the fact that their manager/owner, Thorlakson, is
a commercial pilot who fully understands the needs of aviators.
Top Flight shares there hangar and ramp with AOG, a company well known for
their STOL package of improvements for the deHavilland Beaver and their current
project to improve Cessna Caravan performance.
Ken prepares for cross country flight.
We were plagued by a dying battery (life in a motorglider with numerous stops
and starts can shorten their service limits by a couple of years) and we were unable
to crank the engine over on that crisp fall morning. We are very thankful that the
Director of Maintenance for AOG, Ken Gendron, rallied to our need for a jump start with a battery cart and within minutes we were
departing for Lethbridge – with no service charge.
Well, we thought our destination was Lethbridge with forecast VFR conditions enroute, but the terminal forecasts and GFA were
not indicative of the true weather and we quickly found a need to abandon the direct route and fudge our way around the layers of
cloud and seek the lower valleys to reach Cranbrook. During our approach, the FSS advised an airliner that had just checked in prior
to taxiing that we were inbound and six miles back from joining the circuit. The captain responded, “Confirm they are VFR?!” When
he heard my call sign he added, “Is that Ken Armstrong?”
This wouldn’t be the first time the weather prognostications were grossly in error, nor would it be the last time on this trip. In my
role to help promote aviation safety through increased knowledge and passing on experiences, I really don’t wish to point out
instances when I am stooging around in marginal weather conditions and generally find they can be avoided. Sometimes, it just isn’t
possible to avoid all the weather and I have been in a quandary for years as to whether I should write an article providing tips for
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flying in marginal conditions. The decision has always been not to write
the article as a small percentage of aviators might feel it gives them license
to commit aviation when it would have been better to stay home.
The unanticipated benefits of our flight termination provided us with an
opportunity to invite a Cranbrook friend to lunch (and to fetch a keg of
autogas). Afterwards, we all settled in to watch an awesome display of
cumulonimbus attack the western face of the mountain range to the east.
Cranbrook had some weather issues lingering over passes
Torrential rain showers, lightning, virga, and shining tendrils of
precipitation highlighted by patches of sunshine provided hours of visual
entertainment. Compared to the coast, this continental weather is far more
impressive.
After a restful respite with friends in the comfort of the Kootenay
Airways Ltd. premises and generous support from its president, Dale Pizzey (another commercial pilot providing FBO, training and
charter services) we noted a gap in the weather and launched for Lethbridge via the Elko highway. Although another VFR not
recommended warning had been issued for this relatively low level route, we encountered no ceilings lower than 4,000 feet nor
visibilities below 10 miles. Hopefully my pireps were passed on and helpful to subsequent VFR pilots. Pireps are of great value to
other pilots who may be waiting for weather to lift and it’s also very helpful to weather services as it can often help them revise
terminal and enroute forecasts.
With kind help from Lethbridge FSS we were able to contact friends by telephone relay to determine the condition of their private
airstrip. Minutes later we planted our taildragger onto the well manicured grass. Having the FSS place a phone call for pickup or taxi
should not be assumed nowadays as we were frequently advised by other stations that telephone calls were not part of their service.
This from specialists who had no other traffic for the entire time we were in their area.
From the comfort of our friends’ Lethbridge ridge line home we enjoyed the exciting passage of the same weather we had flown
through hours before. Two days later with a fresh infusion of autogas we launched with a partial load for a down slope take off with a
moderate tail wind. This was the preferred choice as the climbing terrain into the westerly wind might have proven challenging – even
with our partial fuel load that was intended to only get us to Medicine Hat, one hundred miles away (plus more than adequate reserves
of course).
During our 40 hours of flying a round trip between Victoria, B.C. and St. Catherines, Ont., we had generally adequate or better
service from NavCan employees; however, I found a flight service specialist with “attitude” at Medicine Hat (the most expensive fuel
stop during our travels and one of the least friendliest). When I advised the FSS that I would fly a non-standard close-in right hand
pattern to runway 21 to avoid over-flying the city and to leave the circuit clear for an approaching twin turboprop, he stated he would
file an AOR against me if I did so. The last NavCan folks who filed an AOR against me got their fingers wrapped when I pursued the
matter and senior Transport officials found NavCan employees at fault. I have found a number of NavCan employees are keener to
file AOR’s rather than provide cheerful service (As a matter of fact, prior to beginning this article, I was interceding on behalf of a
pilot who had a number of AOR’s filed by an FSS known for its militant attitude towards pilots). An important point for readers to
consider is that AOR’s can be challenged as the data is often wrong. Pilots have a right to challenge any AOR that is posted against
them and should do so to protect their name – assuming they have done no wrong. At any rate, rather than create a workload for
myself and waste time with NavCan antics, I crossed mid field and joined a left-hand downwind, forcing the commuter airline aircraft
entering behind me to fly a wide circuit over the city. It is sometimes useful to remember that the task of air traffic services is
supposed to be to expedite the safe, orderly flow of traffic – not impede same.
Our next leg was non-stop – almost direct to Regina – with a minor course deviation
around the Moose Jaw military activity. Flying at 9,500 feet allowed us to have radar
flight following along the route – something I strongly believe in because there are
many added safety bonuses inherent with someone watching your progress and your
radar trace is identified if you should have an emergency landing. As a result, search and
rescue can be quickly alerted – as opposed to a flight plan which entails Search and
Rescue services some time after you are overdue on your planned landing. Besides, I
have found that radar services have warned me of many aircraft that are close by that I
hadn’t seen. Mind you, I have also had some close calls whilst under radar coverage
that were not pointed out, so you must always remember you are responsible for your
own separation in VFR flight. It’s surprising that radar often advises aircraft within two
miles and a thousand feet and they are often missed by my scan. For that matter, even
after the advisory, I often don’t see the reported traffic. Considering my long range vision is better than normal 20/20 this is somewhat
shocking!
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Although I refuelled with one of the big vendors near the terminal, I learned on the return trip that the Regina Flying Club has less
expensive fuel and they are a nice group of people to meet. The next stop at St. Andrews airport NE of Winnipeg allowed us to sample
the very cooperative traffic management of the Winnipeg tower folks and then meet the friendly fliers of the Winnipeg Flying Club.
Although my wingspan creates issues in confined ramp areas, the club under the direction of a customer oriented general manager
found us a suitable location and then the ramp attendant dragged a number of heavy weights a hundred yards to secure our long
winged glider in the approaching storm.
Flight planning the next day included strong tailwinds and a long distance phone call
placed by WFC to American Customs (now under a new, lengthy alias relating to
border protection, immigration, building leases, storm door and sash sales, etc) for our
landing at International Falls. The friendly folks at International Falls wouldn’t take our
$25 as they had no decals in stock. However, they did make us promise to fill out a form
and send it with the money to headquarters. Next, we flew to Duluth to overnight for an
evaluation of the Cirrus SR 22.
The weather was roughly CAVOK the next morning, but dropped to semi marginal
VFR for our departure to London. Forecast moderate tailwinds were actually minimal
initially but they picked up as we approached the hurricane. The eye was somewhere in
the USA on the south-central Atlantic Coast but the resulting weather created the most
perfectly formed semi-circle of high cloud I have ever seen. It wouldn’t be a factor to
our flight other than creating increasingly stronger tailwinds as we flew towards the center of that low.
Our 28:1 glide ratio allows us to cross the 60-70 nm stretch of Lake Michigan’s narrows with complete safety and it’s normal for
me to make this crossing any time the weather allows me to remain within a conservative gliding distance of land. Therefore, a cloud
base of 6,500 feet or more is adequate and of course one must always consider the average wind direction to determine the half way
(decision) point in the event of an engine failure. Mind you, if this highly sealed composite ever went down on the water, the absence
of rivet holes and sealed wings would likely cause it to float a long time. At least it would seem like a long time bobbing in the
pitching seas. I always carry personal floatation devices for potential water landings and as the pilot in command always don the PFD
for over water flights as there will be little time to struggle into the vest when ditching is imminent.
We refuelled at Frankfort a few miles inland of the lake’s east shore and
sampled our first self-serve fuel stop. These are likely a good idea as the lack of
pumping staff does tend to reduce the fuel price. Nonetheless, worry wart that I
am, my concern was that the pump wouldn’t work for me and there would be no
one present to solve the dilemma. As a result, I arrived with plenty of fuel to
proceed elsewhere – if necessary. As usual, a number of aviators visited the
refuelling process and stories were swapped with a number of amateur builders.
One of the great aviation pleasures is meeting fellow fliers and sharing the
passion and pleasures. Of course, they also provide local lore and were very
helpful suggesting a departing runway in the crosswind by warning of sink on
takeoff.
On departure, I was tempted to stay and soar as there was a lot of
convectivity in the area with the airport down in a narrow valley; however, we
were on an international flight plan and I wanted to get to London and Diamond
Aircraft before they closed for the weekend. We knew we could easily park on their ample tie down pad, but wanted to be able to exit
through the factory. Besides, arrangements needed to be made for inspection work before the staff evaporated.
Fellow Xtreme owners and kindred spirits have told me they are delighted
with Diamond service as they continue to support the aircraft and owners
after sales and I have found that servicing under Bali Ahmad has always met
my demanding expectations.
As the hurricane sucked us faster forward, we under flew the perfect
umbrella of constantly darkening cloud and completed the day’s distance of
808 nm in 5.5 flight hours for an average speed of 149 knots. Although our
zig zag route across the continent easily exceeded the 1940 nm direct
distance between Victoria and London, we had burned less than 60 imperial
gallons of fuel. This fuel included deviations due to weather and an hour or
so loitering during soaring ops near Hope. On direct flights the typical fuel
consumption produces 42 mpg at our conservative 106 knot TAS cruising
speed. We achieve this economy by flying high to increase TAS and pulling
the power back to approximately 50%. While this shaves approximately 5
knots off the cruising speed, that differential can readily be captured with
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cruise climbs and descents in combination with accurate navigation.
Generalizations that could be made after the first half of the trip were that Canadian FBO services which had lagged U.S.
operations had played catch up in the last couple of years. Fuel prices were higher across the board due to world prices averaging $45
for a barrel of oil. Although U.S. fuel was cheaper after conversion factors for volume and exchange were applied, once again the gap
was closing and one could conclude the lure of the southern routes was not as great as previously encountered. Mind you, there are a
lot more airports and facilities in the USA and the stretch of Canadian real estate from Kenora to the Soo is not aviator friendly in
terms of emergency landing options (I never assume an engine will run indefinitely nor that a propeller will not separate at an
inopportune time and choose my routes accordingly).
However, these were the least of my worries on the return flight home. Although the flight to London had exemplified all of the
benefits of personal aircraft, the flight home would dish up major weather conundrums and a near death experience. As a professional
aviator for decades, I have felt that my mission was to accomplish a task while maximizing the safety margins through prudent
planning and flight execution. The flight home would become a monumental challenge to those concepts.
Part 1 of 3
Next Month Part Two: An aviation near-execution.
Prescott Pusher
From Wikipedia
The Prescott Pusher is a homebuilt aircraft, with a large cockpit,
retractable or fixed gear, T-tail and of pusher configuration, that
seats four passengers. Passengers enter the aircraft through a large
left-side opening clamshell door.
Design & Development
Tom Prescott worked for Sikorsky Aircraft, Piper Aircraft, and
Learjet. He left Learjet in 1983 to produce the Prescott Pusher. The
pusher was tested using a 1/5 scale model in the Wichita State
University wind tunnel in 1983. Flying scale models were tested in
1984, which led to the development of the drooped wing tips for
better low speed handling and reduced drag. The aircraft was modeled using CAD/CAM software for creating drawings
and defining machine cuts on the fuselage steel, becoming the first CAD/CAM designed homebuilt aircraft. The AVIA
Products Co was purchased to develop an electrically controlled variable pitch fiberglass pusher propeller.
The pusher was designed to FAR Part 23 certification standards of the time. It uses aluminum construction for the wings
and tail surfaces. The fiberglass landing gear and flaps are hydraulically activated. The nose gear steering is also hydraulic
with electric controls. The fuselage uses a 4130 steel welded square steel tube frame with composite skin covering. Every
component can be installed prior to skin installation, and in theory, could even be flown without the skins. The wing skins
are formed cold using dry ice, then age hardened to T-42 standards. The engine is mounted far aft with a 12 inch propeller
extension.
The prototype was constructed at a facility in north Wichita, and moved to Jabara airport for initial flight testing.
The Prescott Pusher was first displayed at the Experimental Aircraft Association airshow in Oshkosh, Wisconsin in 1985.
Prescott Aeronautical Corporation went out of business. As of 1991, there were approximately 25-35 builders completing
their aircraft in various configurations.
The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the
coffee is cold.
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Excellent advice by club member Barry Meek. Contact him at [email protected] for more info.
AFTER THE CRASH
“Police have not yet released the name of
a 25 year old woman who died on a remote
mountain following the crash of her light plane.
The rental aircraft disappeared two weeks ago
while the student pilot was on her first solo cross
country flight. It was found about 60 miles off her
intended course, in rugged terrain. Authorities
speculate the pilot had survived the crash but
succumbed to injuries, dehydration and
hypothermia about four days later.
The
emergency locator transmitter was not activated.”
This short news item could appear in any
paper, anytime. This story is fictional, however
it’s designed to stir awareness of your survival
skills. The information in this article comes from
personal observation and experience as a long time pilot and ambulance paramedic. So far, it’s probably been a
lot of good luck that’s kept me out of serious trouble. But as they say, “learn from the experience of others.
You’ll never live long enough to make all the mistakes yourself.”
The Aeronautical Information Manual (AIM) states that the pilot must carry equipment sufficient for the
survival of each person on board, considering the area, the season and anticipated weather. The very basics are a
means to start a fire, provide shelter, obtain or purify water, and for visually signalling distress.
In simple terms, a tarp, matches, water bottle and signalling mirror would meet the regulations. But
here’s where it would be nice to have McGyvor along. Innovation and imagination would go a long way
toward ensuring survival for a downed pilot who is equipped with only the basics. In summer, at low
elevations it is not so critical. However, in winter or in mountainous terrain, things get a bit more complicated.
Most pilots carry more than the regulations require. And as is usually the case, the more experienced the pilot,
the more equipment he has on board. The four basics are a good start, but clearly they’re not sufficient for
anyone who gets more than a few miles from a major road or settlement.
I’ll offer a comment on the first aid kit requirements for private aircraft. The CARS 602.60 states what
must be in that kit, but only for commercial operators. Aircraft that are privately owned and operated carry
whatever the owner is comfortable with. Quite frankly, the list of recommended items for private operators is
extremely insufficient, and a waste of space. You can personalize your kit by first learning something about
first aid, then use your imagination to anticipate injuries you’re likely to see following a forced landing or a
crash. Plan and pack appropriate items. It need not be a huge, well stocked trauma kit. A small knapsack works
quite well. It’s a good size, and can quickly and easily be removed from a wrecked aircraft. If it’s done right,
your fire starter, water purification tablets or filter, a couple of space blankets and a signal mirror will fit too.
There you go; both kits in one pack. But don’t forget the survival and first aid books. Preferably, read them
before you leave the ground.
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There are no rules set in stone for survival. Nor is there a right or wrong procedure for the
administration of first aid. You do whatever works given the time and circumstances. I have yet to find a book
that stresses principles over techniques. But it is vital that you recognize what you need to accomplish, whether
it’s starting a fire, building a shelter or stopping someone’s bleeding. Then you set about doing it, utilizing your
experience, knowledge and common sense. We’re all born with at least a bit of common sense. Knowledge can
be found in a book, and hopefully the experience is something you won’t ever obtain.
The last line of our fictitious news item mentions that the ELT was not activated. The student pilot
apparently did a good job on her landing, or the device was faulty. Remember an ELT is installed horizontally
in your aircraft, and is activated by a switch that moves along its longitudinal axis. From experience, I know it
won’t come alive by dropping it on its flat surface. But if you strike one end with the palm of your hand, it
doesn’t take much force to set it off. It goes without saying that the ELT should be physically accessed
following a crash and switched manually to the ON position. The student probably didn’t know that yet.
You need not be a survival expert or paramedic to do the right things following a forced landing or a
crash. Good flight planning should include planning for what’s not supposed to happen. Think ahead to stay
ahead. Be safe this summer.
Editor note: after a forced landing, one’s thoughts may be in a bit of a muddle. One way to help organize the sequence of things that
need to be done is to remember the following: Eff squared, Ess squared, Eff. Or: F2S2F which stands for First aid, Fire, Signals,
Shelter, Food. Take care of any injured, build a fire (aids psychologically and provides warmth), prepare signals for search aircraft,
build a shelter, and lastly, start thinking about food. If you’re not alone, you can delegate some of the tasks.
COLD WARRIOR
by BGen John Partington (Ret)
A more bucolic setting was hard to imagine.
The flock of sheep slowly grazed their way along the side of the
taxiway that separated the Squadron building from the fortified
enclosures or “marguerites” where the aircraft stood, poised and
ready. Guarding the flock was a black and white border collie. He
crouched flat on the tarmac, his eyes fixed on the lead sheep. At the
tail end of the flock, wearing an old forest green loden coat and a felt
Bavarian hat, the shepherd leaned on his staff, puffing on his pipe
and releasing an occasional cloud of smoke into the cool morning
air.
The shepherd, his dog and the
sheep were among the few locals
who had unrestricted access to the
fighter assembly areas, the runways and their surroundings. The shepherd's
job was to ensure the grass was nipped short enough by the sheep to
discourage large rodents from making their home in the grass adjacent to the
taxiways and runways. To read the rest of the story and ride along with “Atlas 27” on a low-level navigation trip
in West Germany culminating in the drop of the “shape” on the Graffenwoehr Range, click
here.
A young Jack Partington
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CONFIDENCE: A TWO-EDGED SWORD?
Confidence is generally regarded as a good thing—and like most good things,
it’s possible to have too much. That applies particularly to aviation, where almost
nothing changes in a linear manner. A 50-percent increase in density altitude
doesn’t usually mean a takeoff run that’s one-and-a-half times as long; depending
on the baseline value, it could add 5 percent or make it impossible to get off the
ground at all. In a slick airplane, crossing the numbers just 50 feet high and 15
knots too fast can double the amount of runway needed to get it down and
stopped. Extrapolating too far beyond prior experience risks some very
unpleasant surprises.
Naturally, some absorb this lesson more readily than others. Based on witness
accounts, the only pilot who tried to depart from Angel Fire, N.M., on March 3,
2013, didn’t lack for confidence, but it wasn’t entirely born of experience. His
Accident aircraft
most recent insurance application suggests that he had accumulated about 500
hours of flight time, and while he’d flown into other airports in Colorado and Wyoming “on a previous flight,” he told several people
that Angel Fire (elevation 8,380 feet msl) was the highest field he’d ever visited. His home base was in the northeastern corner of
Texas, where terrain elevations run around 350 feet.
The altitude isn’t the only challenging aspect of flying into Angel Fire. The airport lies in a mountain valley northeast of Taos,
N.M.; the surrounding mountains rise above 11,000 feet in all four quadrants, with a peak of 13,161 feet at the ski basin northnortheast of the field. “Airport Remarks” in the airport/facility directory include both “strong gusty crosswinds possible” and “high
density altitude probable.” A METAR recorded at 1:15 p.m. on March 3 reported a temperature of 47 degrees Fahrenheit and an
altimeter setting of 29.93 inches of Hg, bringing the density altitude up to 9,549 feet.
If the warning of high density altitude was well founded, the caution about “strong gusty crosswinds” was borne out in spades. The
same METAR recorded winds from 250 degrees at 33 knots with gusts to 47 knots, almost exactly perpendicular to the 17/35
orientation of Angel Fire’s single runway—and far above the demonstrated crosswind component of a 1966 Mooney M20E. When the
pilot asked to have it pulled out of the hangar, the lineman was incredulous, asking, “You’re really going to fly in this weather?” The
pilot agreed that the winds were strong but assured him that he “really did not think it would be a problem.” Later, the lineman
recalled that he “seemed confident to fly … not arrogant, just confident.” The pilot preflighted the airplane before loading it with six
bags of gear and three passengers: his girlfriend, his sister, and his 13-year-old niece.
The lineman was one of several witnesses who saw the Mooney lift off from Runway 17, which slopes 0.6 percent uphill, and
immediately crab a good 40 degrees into the wind. It climbed to perhaps 75 to 100 feet agl but was unable to gain any more altitude.
Instead, its flight path became increasingly erratic until it pitched up abruptly, banked sharply to the left, and dove straight into the
ground. Autopsy results suggested that all four were killed instantly by the impact rather than the explosion and fire that destroyed the
aircraft afterward.
The density altitude would have tested the performance of a normally
aspirated 200-horsepower IO-360 at the best of times, but investigators also
concluded that even with half fuel, the Mooney was no more than 80 pounds
below its rated maximum gross weight—and its center of gravity was slightly
aft of limits, making it inherently unstable in pitch. Satellite images captured
around the time of the accident “recorded a large amount of standing lenticular
cloud near all of the mountainous terrain around the accident site ... [which]
indicated the presence of a mountain wave environment,” and a Weather
Research and Forecasting model run for the investigation “indicated that the
accident site at the accident time was located within a turbulent mountain
wave environment, with low-level wind shear, updrafts and downdrafts,
downslope winds, and an environment conducive for rotors.” The FBO had
“posters and literature warning pilots about crosswinds, mountainous terrain, weight and balance, take off performance, density
altitude, and runway 17's upgrade.” The pilot never called for a weather briefing.
We’re amused when non-aviators think of us as daredevils for being willing to leave the ground in “those little airplanes.” Some of
us might even enjoy cultivating that impression. But when others, including family or friends, entrust their lives to our expertise, we
assume a grave obligation to place their safety above all other concerns. Confidence may reassure nervous passengers, but it’s worth
bearing in mind that most have no way of knowing whether their pilot has or lacks the experience to realistically assess the hazards of
flight.
from AOPA
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U-2 MEMORIES
Retired Air Force major recalls high-altitude danger on secret missions at the height of the Cold War
By Mark Muckenfuss
Cliff Beeler was a spy.
He didn’t hang out on shadowy street corners
with his trench coat collar obscuring his face. The
Air Force major, now retired, spent his snooping
time in a plane.
Beeler, 88, of Riverside, was a U-2 pilot at the
height of the Cold War. His missions took him
over Russia, Cuba and China, photographing
targets from nearly 80,000 feet in the sky. His
planes crashed more than once. He was
occasionally targeted by MiG fighters, and he once landed on and took off from an aircraft carrier in the
Pacific using only a few feet of the deck.
Beeler, who grew up in Santa Ana and spent most of his retirement in Santa Barbara, is a resident of Air
Force Village West, near March Air Reserve Base. Recent back surgery has left him reliant on a walker, but
his memories are as vibrant as ever.
He remembers enlisting at 19, learning to fly a P-51 fighter and being on his way to Saipan to get ready for
the invasion of Japan. Then the United States dropped its atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
The war was over, and Beeler was sent home. Unlike many of his fellow pilots who left the service, Beeler
stayed in. He learned to fly the Air Force’s first jets and then trained others to fly them. Then the U-2 program
caught his eye. “I wanted to fly the latest,” he said.
There were never more than 24 pilots in the program, he said. In 1958, he entered the program. He spent
seven years flying missions high above the Earth — out of the range of other planes and most other defenses
— in the long-winged, lightweight plane.
It was not an easy task, he said. As a plane climbs in altitude and
the air thins, it must go faster to avoid a stall. The higher it climbs,
the faster it needs to fly. Above 70,000 feet, the critical stall speed
approaches the plane’s Mach speed, or the speed of sound —
somewhere above 650 mph at that altitude. If that barrier is crossed,
the shock waves can break the plane apart. U-2 pilots usually had a
window of less than 12 mph between the two speeds. They had to
keep the plane within that window for hours at a time.
CLOSE CALLS
Beeler learned the hard way what it meant to violate that window. He was above Louisiana on a night flight
when he reached Mach speed.
“It tore the tail off,” he said. “The plane flipped over, and that tore the wing off.”
The plane fell apart, he said, and at 78,000 feet, “I’m out in space. That’s a long way down.”
Fortunately, he was in a pressure suit with oxygen and had a parachute. After a long freefall, he opened his
chute and found himself floating toward the ground. To his right, he could see lights on the ground. To his
left, the same. But beneath him, all was black. He remembered he was over Louisiana; “I said, ‘That looks
like a swamp.’ ” It was.
“I landed in a big cypress tree,” he said. “My chute got caught and swung me into the trunk.”
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Telling the story, Beeler reached down toward his calf, “I always kept a double-bladed knife in my pocket,”
he said. He was able to cut himself free of the parachute and use the ties to lash himself to the tree. He took
off his helmet and dropped it into the darkness below. There was a distant splash. “All I could think about was
alligators and cottonmouths in the swamp,” he said.
Lucky for Beeler, the breakup of his plane had been spotted on radar. Within an hour and a half a rescue
helicopter was overhead.
Another close call came over Cuba.
Beeler said MiG jets would fly beneath the U-2 planes, at about 50,000 feet. The fighter pilots would
sometimes attempt to reach the spy planes by turning on their afterburners and flying straight up, higher than
the MiGs were capable of operating effectively. A Cuban pilot’s effort was particularly memorable, Beeler
said. “I look back and there’s this MiG tumbling about 50 feet off my wing,” he said. The plane was so close
that he could see the pilot’s face. Remembering, Beeler turned his hand cockeyed in front of his face. “His
goggles were like this and his face was … ” The sentence ends in a grimace, Beeler’s eyes and mouth wide.
“He was sure scared up there.”
Beeler took the U-2 on numerous missions over Cuba, providing information on the country’s armaments
and the strength of its air force. Images from U-2 flights, he said, showed that Castro had only a few dozen
bombers instead of the more than 400 he had claimed. At one point, Beeler said, President John F. Kennedy
stopped by the U-2 headquarters in Del Rio, Texas, to talk to the pilots. “He said, ‘You guys gave me
information that prevented World War III at least twice,’ ” Beeler said.
AMAZING IMAGES
Sometimes the U-2’s high-resolution, long-range camera captured images that had nothing to do with
national security. During one Cuban mission, Beeler spent some time following the coastline. Afterward, he
was called into the lab by the man in charge of analyzing the film.
“He showed me a picture of this Cuban gal sunbathing nude on the beach,” Beeler said. “It was so clear I
could see she had blue eyes. (The analyst) said, ‘The only film these guys want to work with is your film.’ ”
Returning from another mission, he took some images over San Diego. Later, he was shown a photo of a
man sitting in his backyard reading the paper. “I could read the headline on the newspaper,” he said.
Beeler is semi-famous among pilots for landing his U-2 on an aircraft carrier. The landing followed a
mission over northeast Russia. The U-2’s 80-foot wingspan meant it could only go a short distance before it
collided with the superstructure of the ship. Because of the ship’s speed and a headwind, Beeler said he was
able to touch down and come to a stop in about five feet.
“When I came aboard they had a ceremony welcoming the Air Force into the Navy. I said, ‘I don’t have
much I like about the Navy except one thing,’ ” he said. That one thing was the Navy pilots’ leather jackets.
Before he left the ship the following day, the captain had given him one. It lasted. “I gave it to my son last
week,” he said.
AFTER THE U-2
Among the military photos and plaques on the wall of his room
is a framed row of medals from his service, including the
Distinguished Service Cross.
He points to the photo of one plane, a B-46.
“It was the God-almighty bomber,” he said. But he declined a
chance to fly those planes.
“I didn’t like the mission,” he said. “Go out and drop bombs. I
wanted to shoot things up.”
After he left the service, in 1965, Beeler said he worked on the
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Apollo 5 program for three years. He was in charge of purchasing the equipment for the swing arm on the
launch tower, he said.
He spent the next 25 years selling airplanes. He had his own dealership in the Santa Barbara area. When his
wife, Mary, developed Alzheimer’s disease, he retired to take care of her. After five years, he felt he needed
help, so he moved with her to Air Force Village West, which has a nursing home on its campus. “She lasted
11 days after I brought her here,” Beeler said. “I guess I kept her about as long as I could.”
The couple, who were married for 65 years, had two sons. The elder son lives in Corona and comes to see
him most days, Beeler said. For Veterans Day, he said, he doesn’t have any big plans.
“I’ll probably sleep late,” he said.
BAILOUT!
When Harry Schoning got out of the RCAF, he did like a lot of Canadian pilots did and headed south. He eventually wound up with
Pan American and then, in ’91, wound up with Delta when they bought the A-310 and associated routes. He lived in Sparta, NJ for 26
years before moving to Palm Desert Ca and spends the summers in Idaho as it’s quite warm in the desert during the summer. Harry
and I corresponded about Chipmunks and I found out that he, too, had ejected from a Sabre. I asked him for his story…
I took up small aircraft building about 15 years ago and have built 4 Tiger Moths. The first three were the British
model DH 82A and this last machine is a historical machine called CF-BNF, Canada's first Tiger Moth....the "C". I've not
flown it yet as I'm awaiting my mechanic's return from South Africa where he's been retrieving a Catalina and together
with two pilots, will be ferrying it back to San Diego. Anyhow, as soon as I can get it finished up I plan to sell it. I own a
very nice Chipmunk and can't afford more than one toy....or so my wife tells me. While based in France I married a
French lady and still am under French rule.
My ejection was quite standard...or so they told me. I used the
standard bailout procedure for the base...never been used before,
however, they had a "standard" procedure.
I was leading a Zulu section (Alert aircraft) and near the end of the
first "battle" my aileron control froze up. Try as I might I couldn't
move the stick sideways. Up, down and rudder control was fine,
however, nothing with ailerons. After my # 3 looked me over and
said everything looked fine, I proceeded to the base and on a
southerly heading at 11,000 feet and 250 knots, I pulled the handles.
It was a cold, windy day with a bit of snow and after a very long
decent I approached the field east of the base. It was plowed and
fallow and strips about 50 feet wide of each across the field. Unfortunately, there were high tension power pylons and
wires where it looked like I was to land so I pulled on one set of risers...and started swinging when I released them...and
with the strong wind came to rest on the ground extremely hard.
Eventually the meat wagon came near the field and the Doctor, a Scotsman, told me to carry my pack and follow him to
the van. I was in a lot of pain, however, he said to quit bitching and come along. 4 weeks later I got off of my plywood
slab. Seems I had compression fractures of two lower vertebras and pulled very badly the muscles and tendons , etc, in my
lower back. The doctor and I were never good friends and it remained so.
I was replacing Clair Gleddi that day on Zulu. An odd coincidence: 6 months prior Clair, was flying 655 in Sardinia. He
had exactly the same situation and ruddered it in. They found a panel between the bullet clip bin and the wing root section
missing (it had shortly before returned from Scottish Aviation) and some of the clips had migrated into the area of a
hydraulic piston (don't quite understand it all) and jammed the aileron(?). I had requested to rudder it in however, no one
would allow me to try...in those days I didn't quite understand the "Captain's authority" in an emergency situation...being
trained to do as told.
My thanks to Harry…
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Flying in Colorado's High Country
Difficult Approach: Flying the LOC DME Rwy 15 into Aspen, Colorado
By Aleks Udris
Josh Ritter is a pilot for Basin Electric Power Cooperative, located in Bismarck, North Dakota. He holds CL-65
and CE-500 type ratings, and currently flies the Citation Encore (CE-560) and Cessna 208 Caravan.
Last week, I interviewed Josh Ritter about his life
as a corporate pilot at Basin Electric Power
Cooperative. While discussing his career, he talked
about flying for SkyWest Airlines into Aspen,
Colorado (ASE). Aspen is a unique airport with
special restrictions and we thought it would make a
great story.
Aspen - Difficult Under the Best Circumstances
Aspen-Pitkin County (KASE) serves an elite
Colorado mountain town popular with a wealthy
and famous crowd. Mountains surround the airport
and, at 7,820' MSL, departure can be a performance struggle for any aircraft.
The airport has several published non-precision instrument approaches. All are "circle-to-land;" the lowest
gets you down to 2,000' AGL. All require three miles of flight visibility to continue below minimum descent
altitude. These approaches often leave Aspen below minimums.
Ritter explains the reason for Aspen's high approach minimums. "Aspen is arguably one of the toughest
airports to get into in the country," he says. "There's a lot of surrounding terrain, variable winds, and it's a oneway in, one-way out airport. You land one direction and then turn around and take-off the opposite direction."
A special approach, the LOC DME to Runway 15, allows aircraft to land at Aspen with lower minimums down to 8,780' MSL (roughly 1,000' AGL) and three miles of flight visibility. The approach has a special
missed approach procedure. If you can't land after crossing the missed approach point, you execute an
emergency extraction procedure. The approach requires special training and isn't published in the standard
package of approach procedures.
A Lucky Assignment
SkyWest began flying into Aspen from their Denver and Salt Lake City bases in 2006. Because of the
special training required, they created a special bid package that consisted of ASE trips. "I was junior-manned
into Aspen," says Ritter. When a low seniority pilot is 'junior-manned,' he's forced into a bid package that no
one else wants.
I'm curious why Aspen hadn't been bid - it seems like a fun trip. Ritter says, "It was new, and no-one knew how
the trips would work out. People were unsure of the schedule. They pulled from the bottom and there I was."
SkyWest now bases all of their Aspen crews in Denver; the crews also fly into Eagle-Vail, which also requires
special training.
For initial qualification, Ritter completed two days of simulator training on the approach into Aspen, plus a
minimum of two observations from the jump-seat during actual approaches. To complete the training, he flew
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with a check airman for his first two approaches into Aspen. Every twelve months during recurrent training,
Ritter completed an extra simulator ride into Aspen.
Flying in Colorado's High Country
During the summer, pilots can usually shoot the visual approach into Aspen. Winter can be a different story,
however. I ask Ritter how often they flew in with bad weather. He laughs and says, "all the time, basically, from
December to February. There was one January when we shot the approach to minimums nearly every time we
went in - and we probably did five legs in-and-out of there a day."
I ask Ritter if he ever was nervous on the approach. He hesitates and says, "There was a time when it had been
snowing all day, which isn't unusual. After a divert back to Denver earlier in the day, we returned for the next
scheduled leg to Aspen. When we arrived, they [tower] said the winds were calm and, after we landed, we
noticed the windsock was pointed straight out on our
tail. It's a twenty knot windsock, so we had a twenty
knot tailwind."
"The captain landed early, got on the brakes early,
got on the thrust reversers. He's on the brakes the whole
way, we pass the 2000' markers still going 95 knots, the
anti-skid's on, we're sliding all over the place. Somehow
we stopped. Someone was blocking the turnoff at the
end, so we had to do a 180 on the 100' wide runway,
which is hard to do because you need about 80' in the
CRJ 700. It worked out ok, because we had slid to the
right a little bit, so we were in a good position."
I ask Ritter what approaches were like into Aspen
with the mountain winds. "Sometimes, with the wind shear, you have power at idle with gear down and flaps
45, 30 knots over ref and pitched down five to ten degrees - and not descending. You couldn't get the airplane to
come down. At the end of the approach you've got the power in the takeoff detent to arrest the descent."
He continues, "It all sounds dangerous, but the training department at SkyWest does an incredible job
training the pilots that fly in and out of Aspen. The Aspen
pilots have a separate bid packet and ASE is pretty much all
they do. The pilots are very experienced with Aspen
operations, and are aware of the 'gotchas' associated with
Aspen flying.
Every captain I flew with was very
professional and gave every approach the respect it deserved.
Skywest has been flying into Aspen since 2006 with 20-25
daily departures during winter months and, as far as I know,
there hasn't been a single incident."
I ask Ritter if he enjoyed the Aspen routes. "It's probably the
most fun I've had flying an airplane."
IT’S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS…
Did you hear about Davie, the thoughtful Scotsman, who was heading out to the gathering place? He turned to his wee
wife before leaving and said, "Alison – put your hat and coat on, lassie."
She replied, "Awe, Davie, that’s nice - are you taking me tae the pub then?"
"Nay," Davie replied. "I’m switching the heat off while I’m oot."
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ACCOMODATING…
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A
cellular phone on a bench rings and rings and rings…
Finally, a man grabs the phone, engages the speaker
function and begins to talk as everyone else stops
towelling off and listens in.
MAN : "Hello"
WOMAN : "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN : "Yes."
WOMAN : "I'm at the shops now and found this
beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy
it?"
MAN : "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN : "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and
saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN : "How much?"
WOMAN : "$90,000."
MAN : "OK, but for that price I want it with all the
options."
WOMAN : "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just
talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted
last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000
for it."
MAN : "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of
$900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the
extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN : "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN : "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room
are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone
this is?
THAT’S MY BOY!
Elizabeth asked her Sunday School class to sketch a picture of
their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by little Johnnie's
picture, which showed four people sitting in a plane, so she
asked him which bible story it was meant to represent.
“The flight to Egypt,” said the youngster.
“I see… And that must be Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus”,
Elizabeth said, “But who's the fourth person?”
“Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot” replied our boy.
Tonight's sermon: “What is hell?” Come early and listen to
our choir practice.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning,
can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up
playing my agpipes.
VERNON FLYING CLUB
PRESIDENT: Bill Wilkie
VICE PRESIDENT: Dan Cook
TREASURER: Bob Brandle
SECRETARY: Nikki Wiebe
DIRECTOR: Alison Crerar
PAST PRESIDENT: Len Schellenberg
Newsletter: John Swallow
e-mail: [email protected]
Newsletter address:
#76 – 6688 Tronson Road, Vernon, BC V1H 1R9
VFC Meetings are held the third Tuesday of
each month at 7:00 p.m.
“GARBLED; STRENGTH TWO”
Courtesy Norm Shaw, a video for those with a yoke- or a
stick-mounted microphone switch explaining how to clean
same using electrical contact cleaner. In the video, Cessna
indicates cleaning every 100 hours; however, if you’re in a
dusty environment, it might be worth doing it more often.
Click here
Things You'd Love To Say At Work But Can't
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Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Do I look like a people person?
Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my
cleavage.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you
realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
Chaos, panic, and disorder -- my work here is
done.
How do I set a laser printer to stun?
I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just
wanted paychecks.
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in.
Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel
sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats,
Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.