If you know these key Japanese customs, you’ll get closer to the locals and see beneath the surface of
Japan.
1. Addressing Someone, Respect
Bowing is nothing less than an art form in Japan, respect pounded into children’s
heads from the moment they enter school. For tourists, a simple inclination of the
head or an attempt at a bow at the waist will usually suffice.
The duration and inclination of the bow is proportionate to the elevation of the
person you’re addressing.
The duration and inclination of the bow is proportionate to the elevation of the
person you’re addressing. For example, a friend might get a lightning-fast 30degree bow; an office superior might get a slow, extended, 70-degree bow. It’s all
about position and circumstance.
In addition to bowing, addressing someone properly is key. Just as a “Dr. Smith”
might feel a little insulted if you were to refer to him as “Smith”, so would a
Japanese if you do not attach the suffix “san” to their last name, or “sama” if you
are trying to be particularly respectful.
Usually children are content with just their first names, but you can add the suffix
“chan” for girls and “kun” for boys if you like.
2. Table Manners
Some simple bullet points here:
- If you’re with a dinner party and receive drinks, wait before raising the glass to your lips. Everyone
will be served, and someone will take the lead, make a speech, raise his drink, and yell “kampai!”
(cheers).
- You will receive a small wet cloth at most Japanese restaurants. Use this to wash your hands before
eating, then carefully fold it and set it aside on the table. Do not use it as a napkin, or to touch any
part of your face.
- Slurping noodles or making loud noises while eating is OK! In fact, slurping hot food like ramen is
polite, to show you are enjoying it.
- You may raise bowls to your mouth to make it easier to eat with chopsticks, especially bowls of rice.
- Just before digging in, whether it be a seven-course dinner or a sample at a supermarket, it’s polite
to say “itadakimasu” (I will receive).
3. No Tipping
There is no tipping in any situation in Japan – cabs, restaurants, personal care. To tip someone is
actually a little insulting; the services you’ve asked for are covered by the price given, so why pay
more?
If you are in a large area like Tokyo and can’t speak any Japanese, a waiter or waitress might take the
extra money you happen to leave rather than force themselves to deal with the awkward situation of
explaining the concept of no tipping in broken English.
Just remind yourself: a price is a price.
4. Chopsticks
Depending on the restaurant you decide upon for that evening, you may be required to use
chopsticks.
If for some reason you aren’t too adept with chopsticks, try to learn before passing through
immigration. It’s really not that hard.
One false assumption among many Japanese that’s slowly being dispelled by time is the “uniqueness”
of Japan. Japan is an island nation; Japan is the only country that has four seasons; foreigners can’t
understand Japan; only Japanese can use chopsticks properly.
I cannot count the number of times I’ve been told I use Japanese chopsticks with skill and grace,
despite the fact I’ve seen three-year-olds managing just as well.
If you’re dining with a Japanese, don’t be surprised if you receive a look of amazement at your ability
to eat like a Japanese.
5. Thresholds
Take off your shoes at the entrance to all homes, and most businesses and hotels. Usually a rack will
be provided to store your shoes, and pair of guest slippers will be sitting nearby; many Japanese bring
a pair of indoor slippers just in case, though.
Never wear slippers when you need to step onto a tatami mat (used in most Japanese homes and
hotels; the standard unit of measurement for area even today), and be careful to remove the toilet
slippers waiting for you in the bathroom.
It is extremely bad form, for example, to reenter the main room of a house wearing slippers that have
been running across dirty linoleum.
6. Masks
SARS is long gone, though I did happen to see a “SARS Preparation Kit” during my brief stay in a
Japanese hospital.
Nevertheless, sterilized masks, like the ones you’d see in the emergency room, are commonly used by
salarymen, office ladies, and municipal workers to protect other people from their germs.
Rather sensible when you think about it, as masks do not protect the wearer so much as the ones
around him. The reason could be anything from a slight cold to simply being worried about exposing
other people; don’t let it concern you on your Japanese vacation.
7. Conformity
When groups of high school students in Japan were asked to identify the dangers facing children
today, the majority agreed on the number one threat: individualism.
Japanese society is focused on the group. Western cultures are focused on the individual.
Does this mean that the Japanese are nothing more that worker bees in a vast hive of steel and
concrete? Certainly not, but their presentation of such individual qualities are carefully calculated and
given in doses.
Drawing attention to yourself as an individual is a huge no-no: don’t blow your nose in public, try to
avoid eating while on the go, and don’t speak on your cell phone in crowded public areas like trains or
buses.
The main problem with this is that foreigners simply can’t avoid standing out; we stick out like sore
thumbs no matter how long we’ve been here, or how much we know about Japanese culture and
society.
As a result, being in Japan gives foreigners the status of D-level celebrities: you’ll get glances, shouts
for attention, calls to have pictures taken with people, requests for autographs (happened once to me
on a southern island), and overall just more awareness of being a “stake that sticks out”.
8. Bathing
Public bathhouses are alive and well in Japan.
Sento, or neighborhood bathhouses, can be found from the largest area in Shinjuku to a small town
on the island of Shikoku.
Onsen, or hot springs, are very popular as weekend excursion resorts.
Unlike in western cultures, the Japanese bath is used after you have washed and rinsed, and feel like
soaking in extra-hot water for 10, 20, 30 minutes. It’s an acquired taste to be sure, but can be very
relaxing.
If you happen to be invited into a Japanese household, you will be given the honor of using the bath
first, usually before dinner. Be extra careful so as to not dirty the water in any way; the sanctity of
the ofuro (bath) is of utmost importance.
Take the time to visit a sento if you have the opportunity. These are places without barriers, without
regard to skin color, age, or language… well, they are separated by sex with the exception of some
mixed-bathing areas.
Lying in the hot water and slowly listening to my heart beat slow down is a time when I feel most
attuned to Japanese culture.
9. Speaking English
Japanese will generally assume you are a native English speaker until you prove otherwise.
Japanese will generally assume you are a native English speaker until you prove otherwise. Even
during a short visit, you’ll see:
-A group of schoolchildren in neatly pressed Prussian uniforms walking across the intersection,
shouting “Hello! Hello! Herro!” as they assess your foreign features
-A random person just walking up to you and asking “Where are you from?”
Friendly? Certainly. But I can see how constant celebrity status might get confusing or frustrating for
travelers who don’t speak English.
Although you may speak some or fluent Japanese, the default language of choice is English. Many
Japanese will insist on using their own English language ability, however limited, to converse with
foreigners, in spite of the fact that the person on the opposing end may have more knowledge of the
local tongue.
10. Safety
Every Japanese person I have met warns me to be safe in my travels, to take care of my belongings.
Every foreigner tells me not to worry, nothing can go wrong, nothing will be stolen. This may be based
on individual experience, but there are other issues:
- The fear of crime in Japan is high, especially among Japanese citizens.
- Murders happen. I repeat, murders happen. People are attacked, robbed, assaulted, raped, beaten,
and swindled
However, Japan’s low crime rate is evident when you see businessmen who have missed the last train
sleeping outside on a park bench, or a group of 5-year-old boys walking by themselves for over a
kilometer to make the starting bell at school.
Geography of Japan
Situated in Asia, Japan is immediate neighbor to China, Russia and Korea. Consisting of many islands,
the four main and prominent ones are Honshu , Hokkaido , Kyushu and Shikoku .
Of these Honshu is the largest, measuring an area of 87,805 square miles. Almost 80 percent of the
Japanese population lives here. Japan‟s tallest mountain Mount Fuji (3,776m) is situated here. Although
the volcano here has been dormant since 1708, geologists classify it as an active volcano. Tokyo stands
on the Kanto plain. The Kanto plain is Japan‟s largest lowland, spreading across from the Japanese Alps
to the Pacific.
Situated northernmost, Hokkaido is the second largest of the four, covering an area of 30,144 square
miles. Consisting mainly of mountains and forests, this island houses just 5% of Japan's total population.
The economy here depends almost entirely on fishing, forestry and dairy farming. Sapporo is the largest
city and administrative centre of Hokkaido.
Situated southernmost, Kyushu is the third largest of the four, covering an area of 14,114 square miles.
About 11% of the Japanese population live here.
Shikoku the smallest of the four islands.
Japan is the 60th largest country in the world, slightly bigger than Germany and about 9 times the size of
the Netherlands.
History of Japan
Japan has the oldest surviving monarchy, which happens to be the oldest continuous hereditary in the
world.
Japan's national flag is called the Hinomaru . The flag has a red circle against a white background. This
red circle symbolizes the rising sun. The Japanese deity "Amaterasu Omikami" is a sun goddess.
"Nippon", Japan's name in Japanese, means "origin of the sun".
Kimigayo, which means "The Emperor's Reign", is Japan‟s national anthem. The lyrics are from a 5-line,
31-syllable poem written in the tenth century. The music was composed in 1880 by an Imperial Court
musician Hiromori Hayashi and later harmonized according to the Gregorian mode.
Life expectancy in Japan is one of the highest in the world. Very few countries like Hong Kong,
Singapore, San Marino, Andorra, and Macau have a slightly higher life expectancy than Japan. On an
average the Japanese lives 4 years longer than the American does.
Japanese facts
Being extremely earthquake prone Japan has an average of 1500 earthquakes every year.
The number of volcanoes in Japan is approximately 200.
Most of the Japanese have rice for/with their breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Vandalism rates in Japan are among the least in the world.
A vending machine for a variety of daily requirements is installed at practically every corner in Japanese
cities.
Fruits are forbiddingly expensive in Japan. You could end up paying up to $2 for a single apple or peach.
The Japanese love their pizzas topped with mayonnaise and corn.
Haiku is Japanese poetry consisting of only 3 lines.
Kendo, meaning "the way of the sword‟, is Japan‟s oldest form of martial arts.
Origami is an ancient Japanese art of paper folding.
Sushi (popular worldwide) is a Japanese delicacy of rice and fish dipped in vinegar, wrapped in seaweed.
Japanese always remove their footwear before entering a home. This is to keep the tatami (mat) clean.
The tatami is used for sitting on while eating.
The Japanese eat with chopsticks known as hashi.
The Japanese will shop daily for their meat, fish and vegetable requirements, as they like all their food
fresh and unpreserved. This is one of the prime reasons that small and medium sized refrigerators are
sold the most in Japan.
Rice is a staple food and served at almost every meal.
Miso soup is an all time favorite and could be served for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Its main ingredients
are a soybean paste dissolved in a seaweed stock.
A traditional Japanese breakfast is steamed rice topped with natto (fermented soy beans).
Tea is served with practically all meals.
Many women wear platform shoes that are 4 to 6 inches high.
Slippers are worn in the house, never shoes.
Slippers are never worn while sitting on the tatami to have your meals.
Noh, an ancient and very popular type of Japanese theatre can last for up to eight hours.
While smoking is allowed practically anywhere in Japan, you are not allowed to smoke in local trains.
Long distance trains have got designated smoking zones.
Japanese do not submerge themselves into the bath tub and then lather.
They soap outside the tub and rinse it off. Only then do they submerge themselves neck deep into the hot
water to refresh and relax.
Japanese use a lot of fish, beef, pork, chicken and variety of seafood in their cooking. Most of their dishes
are mildly spiced, flavored with a variety of soy sauces.
Japanese drive on the left, and have their steering wheels on the right, exactly opposite of what it is in
America.
In Japanese villages there is no need to send invitations for a wedding or a funeral. They are considered
community events and the entire village will help in preparing the food, and taking care of all the required
arrangements.
While eating in Japan never put in your chopstick upright into the bowl. In the past this was the way to
offer food to the dead.
You enjoy slurping while eating, but can‟t do it when people (your family, friends, office staff, guests etc.
etc.) are around. Japan is the place for you to be in. Here, you are expected to slurp while having liquids
such as soups. If you do not, it is considered that you do not like the food and the host may feel offended.
Finally, the Japanese are extremely courteous people. If you require something, they will go out of their
way and try to help you.
Funerals
Most Japanese funeral services are held in a Buddhist style. The following is a description of a typical
Japanese funeral. There exist many variations depending on region and Buddhist sect.
On the funeral day the body is cremated. The guests take a small meal during that time in the
crematorium. Afterwards, the relatives pick the bones out of the ash and pass them from person to
person by chopsticks.
The actual funeral ceremony is then held by Buddhist monks according to Buddhist rituals. Many
guests are present at this ceremony. Each of them will pay about 20,000 yen to the relatives and
receive a small gift in return. After the end of the ceremony, another meal is held among the close
relatives.
The urn is put on an altar at the family's house and kept there for 35 days. Incense sticks (osenko)
are burned there around the clock (special 12 hour sticks for the night exist). Many visitors will come
to the house, burn a stick, and talk to the family. After 35 days, the urn is finally buried in a Buddhist
cemetery.
The Japanese visit their ancestors' graves on many occasions during the year: especially during
theobon week, the anniversaries, and the equinoctial weeks.
There are certain things (e.g. concerning chopsticks) one should not do in everyday life because they are
linked to funeral rites and death, and are, therefore, suspected to cause bad luck.
Chopsticks are used to eat most kinds of Japanese foods, with some exceptions. Some
of the most important rules to remember when dining with chopsticks are as follows:
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Hold your chopsticks towards their end, not in the middle or the front third.
When you are not using your chopsticks, or have finished eating, lay them down
in front of you with the tips to left.
Do not stick chopsticks into your food, especially not into rice. This is only done
at funerals with rice that is put onto the altar.
Do not pass food directly from your set of chopsticks to another's. Again, this is
a funeraltradition that involves the bones of a cremated body.
Do not spear food with your chopsticks.
Do not point with your chopsticks.
Do not wave your chopsticks around in the air or play with them.
Do not move plates or bowls around with your chopsticks.
To separate a piece of food in two, exert controlled pressure on the chopsticks
while moving them apart from each other in order to tear the food. This takes
some practice. With larger pieces of food such as tempura, it is also acceptable
to pick up the entire piece with your chopsticks, and take a bite.
If you have already eaten with your chopsticks, use the opposite end to take food
from a shared plate.
Knives and forks are used for Western food only. Spoons however, may be used with
certain Japanese dishes such as donburi or Japanese style curry rice. A Chinese style
ceramic spoon is sometimes used to eat soups.
Superstition
In Japan there are certain things one does not do because they are thought to cause bad luck. A few
examples are:
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The number four:
The number four is considered inauspicious because it is pronounced the same as the word
for death (shi). Therefore, one should not make presents that consist of four pieces, etc. In
somehotels and hospitals the room number four is skipped.
Stick chopsticks into the rice:
Do not stick your chopsicks into your food generally, but especially not into rice, because only
at funerals, chopsticks are stuck into the rice which is put onto the altar.
Give food from chopstick to chopstick:
This is only done with the bones of the cremated body at funerals.
Sleeping towards the North:
Do not sleep towards the North beacause bodies are laid down like that.
Funeral Car:
If a funeral car passes you should hide your thumb.
Cut nails at night:
If you cut your nails at night, you will not be with your parents when they die.
Lie down after eating:
If you lie down immedeately after eating, you will become a cow.
Whistle in the night:
If you whistle in the night, a snake will come to you.
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Black cat:
There are also some imported superstitions such as the believe that black cats crossing the
street in front of you cause bad luck.
In many shrines, temples and souvenir shops, amulets are sold that are supposed to bring luck,
safety or good fortune. There are amulets for money, health, love, success on exams, safety on the
streets, etc. Small pieces of paper (omikuji) that predict your future are also available. These pieces
of paper are tied around the branch of a tree after reading; either to make the good fortune come true
or to avoid the predicted bad fortune.
Shinto
Shinto ("the way of the gods") is the indigenous faith of the Japanese people and as old as Japan
itself. It remains Japan's major religion alongside Buddhism.
Introduction
Shinto does not have a founder nor does it have sacred scriptures like the sutras or the bible.
Propaganda and preaching are not common either, because Shinto is deeply rooted in the Japanese
people and traditions.
"Shinto gods" are called kami. They are sacred spirits which take the form of things and concepts
important to life, such as wind, rain, mountains, trees, rivers and fertility. Humans become kami after
they die and are revered by their families as ancestral kami. The kami of extraordinary people are
even enshrined at some shrines. The Sun Goddess Amaterasu is considered Shinto's most important
kami.
In contrast to many monotheist religions, there are no absolutes in Shinto. There is no
absolute right and wrong, and nobody is perfect. Shinto is an optimistic faith, as humans
are thought to be fundamentally good, and evil is believed to be caused by evil spirits.
Consequently, the purpose of most Shinto rituals is to keep away evil spirits by
purification, prayers and offerings to the kami.
Shinto shrines are the places of worship and the homes of kami. Most shrines
celebrate festivals(matsuri) regularly in order to show the kami the outside world. Please
read more on our special information pages about shrines and festivals.
Shinto priests perform Shinto rituals and often live on the shrine grounds. Men and
women can become priests, and they are allowed to marry and have children. Priests
are aided by younger women (miko) during rituals and shrine tasks. Miko wear
white kimono, must be unmarried, and are often the priests' daughters.
Important features of Shinto art are shrine architecture and the cultivation and
preservation of ancient artforms such as Noh theater, calligraphy and court music
(gagaku), an ancient dance music that originated in the courts of Tang China (618 907).
Shinto History
The introduction of Buddhism in the 6th century was followed by a few initial conflicts,
however, the two religions were soon able to co-exist and even complement each other.
Many Buddhists viewed the kami as manifestations of Buddha.
In the Meiji Period, Shinto was made Japan's state religion. Shinto priests became state
officials, important shrines started to received governmental funding, Japan's creation
myths were used to foster an emperor cult, and efforts were made to separate and
emancipate Shinto from Buddhism.
After World War II, Shinto and the state were separated.
Shinto Today
People seek support from Shinto by praying at a home altar or by visiting shrines. A whole range of
talismans are available at shrines for traffic safety, good health, success in business, safe childbirth, good
exam performance and more.
A large number of wedding ceremonies are held in Shinto style. Death, however, is considered a source
of impurity, and is left to Buddhism to deal with. Consequently, there are virtually no Shinto cemeteries,
and most funerals are held in Buddhist style.
A kimono should be wrapped left over right to do otherwise symbolizes death.
Avoid using large hand gestures, unusual facial expressions and any dramatic movements. The Japanese
do not talk with their hands and to do so could distract your host.
Avoid the "OK" sign; in Japan it means money.
Pointing in not acceptable.
Do no blow your nose in public
Personal space is valued. Because the Japanese live in such a densely populated area, they value
their personal space.
A smile can have double meaning. It can express either joy or displeasure. Use caution with your
facial expressions. They can be easily misunderstood.
The Japanese are not uncomfortable with silence. They use it to their advantage in many situations.
Allow your host to sit in silence.
Never pour a drink yourself; always allow someone else to do it for you.
Do not openly display money. It is rare to see it given from person to person in Japan. It
is important to use an envelope to pass money.
In Asia the number 14 is bad luck, because in Japanese it sounds like the word „shuhshuh‟, which sounds like the word for death.
Style is tantamount. The gift itself is of little importance, the ceremony surrounding it is very important.
Always wrap gifts. The selection of the wrapping paper is critical. Do not give anything wrapped in
white as it symbolizes death. Do not use bright colors or bows to wrap the gift. It is better to have the
hotel or the store wrap the gift to ensure that it is appropriate.
Give the gift with both hands and accept gifts with hands.
Do not give gifts in odd number or the number four, as odd numbers are bad luck and
four sounds like the word for death in Japanese.
Take special care in handling cards that are given to you. Do not write on the
card. Do not put the card in you pocket or wallet, as either of these actions will be
viewed as defacing or disrespecting the business card. Upon receipt of the card,
it is important to make a photocopy of the name and title of the individual in your
mind. Examine the card carefully as a show of respect.
In introductions use the person‟s last name plus the word san which means Mr. or Ms. The
Japanese prefer to use last names. Do not request that they call you by your first name only. If
you are uncertain about the pronunciation of a name, ask for assistance.
Understand that the Japanese prefer not to use the word no. If you ask a question they may
simply respond with a yes but clearly mean no. Understanding this is critical in the negotiation
process.
The code of etiquette in Japan governs the expectations of social behavior in the country and is
considered very important. Many books instruct readers on its minutiae.
Some conventions may be very regional practices, and thus may not exist in all regions of Japan. The
following are generally accepted modern customs in Japan. Some customs have changed over the
course of history.
Bathing is an important part of the daily routine in Japan. Baths are for relaxing, and the body and
hair must be thoroughly scrubbed and allsoap removed before entering the bathtub or furo. This is
normally done at a small faucet or shower located in the same room as the tub, while seated on a
small stool. A traditional Japanese bathtub is square, and deep enough that the water will cover the
shoulders, but requires the bather to sit with the knees drawn up to the chest. The tub water would be
used to wash the body by scooping it up with the provided scoop. The tub shape is smaller and
deeper than is common in Western homes. Newer bathtubs are more like the western shape. Rather
than being drained at the end of each bath, the water is kept warm by means of special heaters, and
the same water is used by all the family members. After use, some homes take the hot bath water
from the tub and use it to wash clothes in a washing machine. A lid is placed on the tub to maintain
the water temperature when not in use, and to prevent evaporation. Any hair or debris is scooped
from the water after the bath.
In homes with small tubs, each family member bathes one by one, in order of seniority, traditionally
starting with the oldest male. If there are guests in the home, they will be given priority. In homes with
larger tubs, it is not uncommon for family members to bathe together. Typically one or both parents
will bathe with babies and toddlers, and even as children grow older they may still bathe with one of
their parents.
Bathtubs are increasingly common in modern Japanese homes, but there are still many homes,
particularly in older or rural areas, that do not have bathtubs, so
public bathhouses called sentō are common. A regular bathhouse will have tap water heated in a
boiler. In all but the most rural areas baths are segregated by sex, and customers bathe nude,
many using a small washcloth to cover the genitals. Hotels, pachinkoparlors and other venues
may have on-site sentō for customer use.
Patrons of traditional Japanese inns or ryokan will be offered the use of a furo for bathing, either a
communal one with bathing times being scheduled in advance, or a private one.
Onsen are baths that by definition use naturally hot water from geothermally-heated springs,
sometimes outdoors. Larger onsen will have separate pools for men and women, and visitors
normally bathe nude. As with home baths, at sentō and onsen bathers must wash thoroughly before
entering the communal baths. Many sentō and onsen ban customers with tattoos which are
traditionally taboo, citing concerns overyakuza activity.
Bowing
Bowing (お辞儀 o-jigi?), お礼 (o-rei?), is probably the feature of Japanese etiquette that is best-known
outside Japan (the o お is honorific and may be omitted). Bowing is considered extremely important in
Japan, so much so that, although children normally begin learning how to bow from a very young age,
companies commonly provide training to their employees in how to execute bows correctly.
Basic bows are performed with the back straight and the hands at the sides (boys and men) or clasped in
the lap (girls and women), and with the eyes down. Bows originate at the waist. Generally, the longer and
deeper the bow, the stronger the emotion and the respect expressed.
Bows can be generally divided into three main types: informal, formal, and very formal. Informal bows are
made at about a fifteen degree angle or just tilt over one's head to the front, and more formal bows at
about thirty degrees. Very formal bows are deeper.
The etiquette surrounding bowing, including the length and depth of bow, and the appropriate response,
is exceedingly complex. For example, if the other person maintains his or her bow for longer than
expected (generally about two or three seconds), it is polite to bow again, upon which one may receive
another bow in return. This often leads to a long exchange of progressively lighter bows.
Generally speaking, an inferior bows longer, more deeply and more frequently than a superior. A superior
addressing an inferior will generally only nod the head slightly, while some superiors may not bow at all
and an inferior will bend forward slightly from the waist
Bows of apology tend to be deeper and last longer than other types of bow. They tend to occur with
frequency during the apology, generally at about 45 degrees with the head lowered and lasting for at least
the count of three, sometimes longer. The depth, frequency and duration of the bow increases with the
sincerity of the apology and the severity of the offense. Occasionally, in the case of apology and begging,
people crouch down like Sujud to show one's absolute submission or extreme regret. This is
called Dogeza. Even though Dogeza was previously considered very formal, it is mostly regarded as a
contempt for oneself today, so it is not used in an everyday setting. Bows of thanks follow the same
pattern. In extreme cases a kneeling bow is performed; this bow is sometimes so deep that the forehead
touches the floor. This is called saikeirei (最敬礼), literally "most respectful bow."
When dealing with non-Japanese people, many Japanese will shake hands. Since many non-Japanese
are familiar with the custom of bowing, this often leads to a combined bow and handshake which can be
quite complicated to execute. Bows may be combined with handshakes or performed before or after
shaking hands. Generally when bowing in close proximity, as necessitated when combining bowing and
shaking hands, people turn slightly to one side (usually the left) to avoid bumping heads.
Business/money
It is common for Japanese businesses to set out a small tray near a cash register so that customers can
place their money on the tray rather than handing it directly to the cashier. If a business provides such a
tray, it is a breach of etiquette to disregard the tray and instead hold out the money for the cashier to take
by hand.
In the event that the business does accept payments made hand to hand, one should take care to follow
the broader rule, also applicable to items such as business cards and in other social contexts, that one
hold an article with both hands whether giving it or receiving it.
The rationale for this broader rule is that by using both hands to hold an article, one a) demonstrates that
one is handling the article with care and b) suggests that the article is worth handling with care. By
handling every item in this manner whether giving or accepting it, a) when one is giving the item, one
suggests that the other person's dignity is high enough that only an item meriting such handling would
befit that dignity, and b) when one is receiving the item, one suggests that the other person's dignity is
high enough that he or she would give only items meriting such handling. In turn, careless handling of an
item suggests at best a pointed refusal to make such an assumption and at worst an affirmative
statement to the contrary.
Eating and drinking
See also: Japanese cuisine#Dining etiquette
Meals in Japan traditionally begin with the phrase itadakimasu (いただきます?) (literally, "I humbly
receive"). The phrase is similar to "bon appétit", or saying grace to give thanks before a meal. It is said to
express gratitude for all who played a role in preparing, cultivating, ranching or hunting the food. This also
[1][2]
acknowledges that living organisms have given their life to human beings as Dāna.
Upon finishing a
meal, the Japanese also use the polite phrase Gochisosama-deshita (ごちそうさまでした Gochisōsamadeshita?) (lit. Thank you for a good meal) or - more informal/simple - Gochisōsama. Gochisōsama is
based on the religious belief where chisō (馳走;ちそう?) means running with efforts (by riding a horse,
thereby indicating expedience) to cater foods for the guest. It is then linguistically altered to express
[3][4][5][6]
gratitude to the effort by adding go and sama as the form of teineigo (丁寧語).
To join one's hands
in the namasté gesture while saying these words is good manners.
It is considered polite to clear one's plate, down to the very last grain of rice; children are especially
encouraged to do so – see also mottainai as Buddhist philosophy. It is impolite to pick out certain
ingredients and leave the rest. One should chew with the mouth closed.
It is acceptable to lift soup and rice bowls to the mouth so that one does not spill food. Miso soup is drunk
directly from the (small) bowl, rather than with a spoon, though larger soups may come with a spoon. It is
also appropriate to slurp certain foods, especially ramen or soba noodles, though this is not practiced
universally – however, Western-style noodles (pasta) should not be slurped. Further, noodles from hot
soup are often blown on (once lifted from the soup) to cool them down before eating.
Rice is generally eaten plain or sometimes with nori (dried-pressed seaweed) – shredded or in strips –
or furikake (various seasonings). One may also add more substantial food such as a raw egg
(yielding 卵かけご飯, tamago kake gohan – "egg on rice"),
[7]
nattō (fermented soy beans) – these are
often added and stirred in to rice at breakfast – or tsukemono (pickles). There are also, less commonly,
dishes featuring rice with ingredients mixed in, either during the cooking (takikomi gohan, 炊き込みご飯,
"cooked in rice") or after the rice has been cooked (maze gohan, 混ぜご飯, "mixed rice").
[8][9]
Pouring soy sauce onto plain white rice is not a Japanese custom, nor is it common to pour soy sauce
directly over sashimi or sushi – pouring soy sauce on white rice would be similar to spreading ketchup on
plain bread in the West. Instead, soy sauce is poured into a small dish that is provided, and the food
dipped into the sauce. Furthermore, to pour an excessive amount of soy sauce into the small dish is
considered greedy and wasteful (see mottainai). However, soy may be added as part of other dishes,
such as tamago kake gohan.
Sushi etiquette dictates that when eating nigiri-zushi, one should dip the sushi topping-side down into the
soy sauce to prevent the rice from soaking up too much sauce; leaving stray grains of rice floating in the
sauce is considered uncouth, but can be hard to avoid for those who have difficulty with chopsticks. In
sushi-only restaurants, it is acceptable to use fingers instead of chopsticks to eat the nigiri-zushi.
It is uncommon for Japanese people to eat while walking around – drink vending machines in
Japan generally have a recycling bin for used bottles and cans, so that one can consume the drink while
standing there, rather than walking off with it, and in summer months, the practice of vendo (a group
standing around a vending machine drinking) is seen. Some consider it rude to eat in public or on trains,
but this is not a universally-held aversion.
Many Japanese restaurants provide diners with single-use wooden chopsticks that must be snapped
apart. Chopsticks taper toward the bottom; the thicker top part, which will be snapped apart, may have
small splinters. One should never use the thick, splintered end to pick up food. In order to remove the
splinters, it is acceptable to rub one chopstick against the other; however, the common Western practice
of placing both chopsticks between the palms and vigorously rubbing them together is extremely rude,
especially when one is seated at a sushi bar, as this signals the waiter that one thinks his utensils are
cheap.
In Japanese restaurants, customers are given a rolled hand towel called oshibori. It is considered rude to
use the towel to wipe the face or neck; however, some people, usually men, do this at more informal
restaurants. Nonwoven towelettes are replacing the cloth oshibori.
When using toothpicks, it is good etiquette to cover one's mouth with the other hand. Blowing one's nose
in public is considered rude, especially at a restaurant; cloth handkerchiefs should never be used for this
purpose. Conversely, sniffling is considered acceptable, as an alternative to nose-blowing. When
sneezing, it is polite to cover one's nose with a hand, or excuse oneself to the restroom first.
Bentō, boxed meals in Japan, are very common and constitute an important ritual during lunch. The
preparation of these meals begins around the time children reach nursery school. The mothers of these
children take special care when preparing meals for their children. They arrange the food in the order by
which it will be consumed. Bentō are made fancy, “but it must be consumed in its entirety.”
[10]
Bentō is judged by how well it is prepared. The mother must almost “show off” her accomplishment in
making the lunch. She is preparing for her child, but the way she prepares it is looked upon by the other
children and the nursery school. It is close to a competition to see who is the best mother. If it is well
prepared, other Japanese will consider the maker a good mother.
[10]
Because the appearance of food is important in Japan, the mothers must be sure to arrange the bentō in
an attractive way.
[10]
If it is not to specification, and the mother is not happy, then she will re-arrange it
until she is satisfied with the appearance as a whole. Foods can also be seasonal; a mother may prepare
a leaf cut-out in fall or cut an orange into the shape of a flower if the season is summer. It is not
uncommon to see seven different courses within a Bentō.
Mothers are also encouraged to prepare what the children will enjoy eating. If the child does not like what
the mother has prepared, then he/she will most likely not consume it, going against the rule that “it must
be consumed in its entirety.”
[10]
Mothers must therefore be careful in choosing foods, which must be of
interest to the child so that he/she will eat the entire lunch.
Main article: Chopsticks
There are many traditions and unwritten rules surrounding the use of chopsticks, hashi. For example, it is
considered particularly taboo to pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks, as this is how bones are
handled by the family of the deceased after a cremation. If you must pass food from your plate to
someone during a meal (a questionable practice in public), pick up the food with your own chopsticks and
place it on a small plate to allow the recipient to pick it up with his/her chopsticks. Mismatched chopsticks
are not to be used. Standing chopsticks vertically in a bowl of rice is to be avoided, as it recalls burning
incense sticks standing up in sand, typically at funerals. Also, the act of stabbing the chopsticks into the
food resembles an action devout Buddhists perform when offering ceremonial food to their ancestors at
the household shrine. Placing chopsticks so that they point at someone else is considered a symbolic
threat.
Chopsticks were in use in Japan as early as the Nara period (710-794), originating in China and swept to
Japan (Bridging the Gap, 2008). Since chopsticks are a huge part of Japanese tradition, there are many
things one must avoid while using them. If you have no other utensils to use while sharing plates of food,
you will need to use the end of the chopsticks (the side you did not eat from) to retrieve the shared food.
Chopsticks can be somewhat challenging if you have never used them. They can take a lot of practice for
most, but once you have used them a few times, you will get used to them easily. "Using chopsticks
correctly makes you look beautiful when eating…” (Bridging the Gap, 2008) Since there are many
chopsticks one can choose from, you want to make sure the ones you choose are comfortable and easy
to handle. You don‟t want them too heavy or too long. They must fit your fingers and feel right. “According
to Hyozaemon, you should hold your chopsticks at a point about two-thirds of the way up from the tips.
Hold the top chopstick between your thumb and index finger and support it with your middle finger. Your
other chopstick should be placed firmly against where your thumb and index finger meet, with it supported
against the fingernail on your ring finger. By doing this, the tips of your chopsticks will meet, forming a
beak-like triangle. If you can use them dexterously by only moving the upper chopstick, you've got perfect
chopstick manners” (Bridging the Gap, 2008).
It is considered an honor to be invited to someone's home in Japan. Many Japanese regard their homes
as being too humble to entertain guests. Shoes are not worn inside – since the floor level is often higher
than ground or entrance level or even the same height, Japanese don't want the floor to be stained by
soil, sand or dust that may be attached to the soles. Instead, shoes are removed in the genkan (mudroom
or entrance foyer), and often replaced with slippers called Uwabaki, just wearing socks is also acceptable
in informal situations; genkan are found in even small apartments, where they are correspondingly small,
and feature a small step up. Socks, however, are not generally removed – bare feet are acceptable when
visiting a close friend, but not otherwise. There are also separate slippers used when using a bathroom,
for reasons of hygiene.
Wooden geta are provided for short walks outside when entering the house. It is generally considered
polite to wear shoes instead of sandals, but sandal wearers may carry a pair of white socks to put over
their bare feet or stockings, so that their bare feet will not touch the slippers that the host offers, or they
may use tabi socks, worn with the sandals. The shoes are turned around so that the toe faces the door
after taking them off. During the winter time, if a guest is wearing a coat or hat, the guest will take it off
before the host opens the door. When the guest is leaving, he or she does not put on the coat or hat until
the door has closed.
Greetings
Greetings are considered to be of extreme importance in Japanese culture. Students in elementary and
secondary schools are often admonished to deliver greetings with energy and vigor. A lazy greeting is
regarded with the type of disdain that would accompany a limp handshake in parts of the West.
Simply walking off without saying anything is frowned upon. When parting, instead of simply saying
goodbye, it is common to make a wish to meet again.
The most common greetings are ohayō gozaimasu (おはようございます?) or "good morning", used until
about 11am but may be used at any time of day if it is the first occasion that day the two people have
met; konnichiwa (こんにちは?) which is roughly equivalent to "good day" or "good afternoon" and is used
until late afternoon; konbanwa (今晩は?) or "good evening"; and oyasumi nasai (お休みなさい?) or "good
night". Different forms of these greetings may be used depending on the relative social statuses of the
speaker and the listener.
Hospitality
Since many Japanese homes are very small, entertaining is traditionally
done at restaurants and other establishments. Entertaining at home is
not unheard of however, and hosts will often go to great lengths to be
hospitable.
Generally, as in many other cultures, the guest takes priority. He or she
will be seated in the best place, served the best food and drinks, and
generally deferred to. If staying overnight, the guest will also be offered
the first bath, and the hosts may even give up their own beds.
Japanese hosts generally try for the ideal of being busy so the guest can
relax. As opposed to Western hospitality styles where the host presents
a relaxed front to the guests or may encourage guests to "make
themselves at home" or "help themselves," Japanese hosts will often
present a busy front to guests. The general aim is to cultivate the idea
among guests that everything is being taken care of so that they may
relax and be at ease.
Titles
Main article: Japanese honorifics
The titles for people are -chan (for female close friends or young girls), -kun (for male close friends, or
young boys), -san (for adults in general) and -sama (for customers, and also used for gods or buddhas).
Letter addresses, even those sent to close friends, are normally written in quite formal language. Unless
some other title is available (sensei, for example, which can mean "doctor" or "professor" among other
things) the standard title used with the addressee's name is the very formal -sama (様). Letters addressed
to a company take the title onchū (御中?) after the company name. It is also considered important to
mention in the address if the company is incorporated (kabushiki gaisha) or limited (yūgen gaisha). When
a letter is addressed to a company employee at their place of work, the address should contain the full
name of the place of work, as well as the title of the employee's position, and the full name of the
employee.
Business etiquette
Main article: Meishi
Always hand a business card with both hands. Always present it
underneath or below the Japanese business person as a sign of respect.
Never put a business card in wallet or back pocket.
When meeting a group of people at once, place your business cards
from top to bottom in order of importance. If you are not sure, place them
side by side.
When standing and communicating never put your hands in your
pockets. This is a sign of disrespect.
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