MAY 2017
Vol. 5
P.O Box 1423
Woodbridge, VA 22195-1423
703-659-9983
www.nami-pw.org
PRESIDENT’S MESSAGE
By Marjorie Antus
Affiliate Board of Directors Holds Its First Meeting
On April 20, eight members of NAMI Prince William's board of directors came together not only for
dinner but also to get to know each other better and to elect officers. First, the officers:
President, Marjorie Antus
Vice-President, Sonja Flood
Secretary, Liz Downey
Treasurer, Cardell Hunter
Directors include John Antus, Pauline Hunter, Carol Ray, Stephen Redmon, and Pat Victorson.
Congratulations to all!
Getting to know each other was an exercise in providing an answer to this question: "What does NAMI
mean to you personally?" (I call it AN answer because each person had only two minutes to address the
question.)
Responses focused on helping family members who are living with mental illness, hoping that those
living with mental illness will ultimately lead better lives for the efforts they, themselves, are making, and
recognizing the personal benefits of working in our affiliate with like-minded people who understand the
meaning and implications of mental illness.
The group is undertaking work that will evolve in ways not entirely clear at the moment. But what
came across to me on April 20 was a spirit of openness and a quiet resolve to begin as officers and directors
of NAMI Prince William.
THINGS TO KNOW
IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY SUPPORT
By Liz Downey
One of the things I value the most in my experience with NAMI is the wonderful, courageous stories
that have been shared with me by persons with mental illness as well as the family members. Wound
through all of the stories, are threads of the successes or setbacks which are attributed to various
issues, i.e., available resources, insurance, finances, but one recurring issue is family support, or lack
thereof.
I remember a gentleman (for the sake of anonymity we’ll call him ANON) in recovery with his mental
illness who shared his story with me. ANON came from a large, close family. In his late 20’s he was
very successful. By his mid-30’s he owned several businesses, one of which was worth over several
million dollars. He owned four houses, nice cars, took regular vacations; lived the dream life. Then, in
his 40’s he became ill, and not aware of what was happening; before he knew it, he had lost
everything and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for 10 months. During those 10 months, ANON
said that not one of his family members or friends visited him. Even after his release, at family
gatherings, people would whisper, “We don’t talk about that.”
Five years into recovery, ANON received a call from his father, asking him to return immediately. With
his mother recently ailing, ANON was concerned that her condition had worsened. After agreeing to
come home, he pleaded with this father to tell him what was going on. His father broke down and
told ANON that his nephew had just died by suicide. ANON returned home to his family and was
honored to be asked to present the eulogy at his nephew’s funeral. He told me that he used his
eulogy to educate everyone about mental illness. After the service the whole family returned to his
parents’ house. Among all the conversations, ANON noticed that his father was extremely quiet; not
his general character. After an hour, his father loudly asked for everyone’s attention. He had
something he wanted to say. ANON’s father proceeded to apologize to ANON in front of the entire
family. He wanted him to know how sorry he was that he had never visited him in the hospital and
had never offered any support. He admitted that when he learned of his son’s illness, he had become
afraid, hopeless and lost. ANON’s story had a good ending. He and his father were able to mend their
relationship before his father passed.
ANON’s experience is not unique. Many people lose the support of their family and friends after their
illness is disclosed. Many loving family members act as if nothing is wrong, making the person who is
ill feel invisible or unimportant. And still others find the need to blame their loved one for the chaos
created in the family, as if the person had any choice in the matter. This is tragic and unnecessary.
Fear is generated by ignorance. When people gain a better understanding of mental illnesses – that
they are physical illnesses that affect the brain; a medical condition that can be treated with
medication, therapy and support, they begin to understand that there is recovery from mental
illnesses and that it is not a hopeless situation.
If you are a family member or friend of someone who has a mental illness, and have not taken NAMI’s
Family-to-Family Education program, please consider doing so. It will change your life — and maybe
someone else’s too!
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THINGS TO KNOW
Carolyn Hax: Crossing the line when it comes to a spouse’s health care
By Carolyn Hax Washington Post Columnist April 3
Adapted from a recent online discussion.
Dear Carolyn: Since I had to go off a medication a couple of months ago, I am
now suffering from depression. My wife doesn’t want me to go to the doctor.
She doesn’t trust them and wants me to see a naturalist instead. I try explaining
that this is a brain-chemistry issue and that I trust my doctor to try to fix it. I do not trust a
naturalist to be able to help me.
The first medication the doc gave me is giving me bad side effects, but I can’t tell my wife
because she is going to go off on how I shouldn’t trust my doctors. So I feel like I have to suffer
alone. My doctor has been treating me successfully — until the issue four months ago — for four
years.
How can I go about explaining that I want to trust my doctor and want to
give it time without being attacked by my wife? — Anonymous
Anonymous: Her attacking you is TOTALLY inappropriate, to the extent
that I urge you to add solo therapy to your treatment plan for your
depression. Your wife is showing very poor boundaries here, and possibly
revealing herself as a component of your mental health challenges. Think
of it this way: You trust mainstream medicine, and distrust naturopathic
(yes?) medicine. She trusts naturopathic medicine and distrusts mainstream
medicine.
Straight up, your trusts and distrusts have equal weight because it’s your prerogative to decide
how to care for yourselves. But they stop being of equal weight the moment one of you seeks
care: When she is sick, her preference takes priority and you step back. When you’re sick, your
preference takes priority and she steps back. This is the only appropriate allocation of choices
between two people of sound minds who disagree so completely on proper health care. And
therefore, your wife is so far out of line. She’s telling you she doesn’t trust you to care for
yourself.
Which is why I’m interrupting this harrumph with a strong urging for you to seek legal advice,
now, on a medical power of attorney — like, now — so that if you’re ever incapacitated, your
wife won’t be the one dictating your treatment. If it’s mainstream medicine you want, then get
that on the record. Otherwise the person making your treatment choices will be the one you don’t
trust to honor your wishes and doesn’t believe in mainstream medicine. Yikes.
Anyway, back to your question: For your depression treatment, keep following the course you
believe is appropriate for you; add a therapist to your treatment team — not just to help you
explore the unhealthy, potentially dangerous dynamic with your wife, but also to give you
someone to talk to so you don’t “have to suffer alone;” and tap the expertise of both this doctor
and said therapist on handling your disagreement with your wife. I hope she’s open to
professional help herself. Even if a treatment she recommends would be appropriate for you, to
“go off” on the person she wants to persuade is about as counterproductive as it gets.
Mental health caregivers aren’t there just for the brain chemistry issue, but also for the emotional
systems that you’ve built up around it. NAMI (nami.org) also can help. Good luck.
Excerpt from The Washington Post, https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-crossing-the-line-when-itcomes-to-a-spouses-health-care/2017/04/02/ff22ee72-165f-11e7-833c503e1f6394c9_story.html?utm_term=.f018261ddce1&wpisrc=nl_most-draw5&wpmm=1#comments
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TAKE TIME
TAKING THE TIME
By Liz Downey
I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve gotten older, or if
it’s just a different perspective you get with life
experiences, but I feel that time is flying by.
Recently, I’ve taken some moments to reflect on
what is important in my life. What was important
40 years ago, the material things, has been
replaced with a more heightened awareness of
what I have in my life at this very moment — the
people around me.
It has been mentioned by a few that I may work
too much. And although I’ve been told they don’t
believe me, I try to make more time for family and
friends. I’ve found that finding the time to get
outdoors helps; taking a walk, kayaking for a few
hours, going downtown to the plethora of
museums with friends, some NAMI friends and
some outside of NAMI. I find that we all laugh a
lot, and even though we all have “things to do,”
we are always glad we took the time.
Those of us that are on the NAMI journey tend to
isolate and that’s not healthy. So often, and I can
only speak for myself, I come up with excuses why
I can’t go for a walk, go see a movie, just walk next
door and visit with a neighbor, take a day trip, or
call up a friend to have a cup of coffee. Recently I
went with a friend to a paint party at a local
restaurant. Most invite you to paint and drink. I
don’t drink, but I can bet I had more fun than
most. Although my painting is nowhere near in my
list of creative talents, I thoroughly enjoyed myself
and ended up with a not-so-bad painting. (At least
my 5-year-old grandson loved it.) There also was
a lot of laughing! In March, NAMI-PW had its
Annual Membership Meeting & Dinner. Everyone
reconnected with old friends and met some new
friends. You can’t help but feel that you are a part
of something meaningful – something that really
does change lives. It’s what my son calls our
wonderful “Framily,” (friends and family). That’s
what memories are made of.
I hope all of you will consider joining us the next
time NAMI-PW has an activity, an event or an
educational program to meet new friends, hang
with old friends. May is Mental Health Awareness
Month so Take the Time.
If you haven’t attended a NAMI National Convention, make sure to attend in 2017. The
Convention will be held in Washington, D.C. Meet wonderful NAMI people from all over the country,
attend stimulating workshops, presentations from renowned mental health experts, learn exciting
new developments in the area of brain science and research and network with other NAMI members
to hear what’s happening in other parts of the country. Most importantly, NAMI arranges a visit to
Capitol Hill so we can advocate for mental health!
Registration is easy, just go to nami.org
and click on “convention” at the top of the
page. The earlier you register, the lower
the rate. They also have blocks of rooms at
nearby hotels at reasonable rates. Make
2017 the year you Advocate for Mental
Health!
Please let us know at 703-659-9983 if you
plan on attending so we can get a NAMI-PW
group to go to Capitol Hill.
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SAVE THE DATE
May is National
Children’s
Mental Health
The Trauma Informed Community Workgroup
of the Prevention Alliance of Greater Prince William invites you to attend
Community Matters: Paper Tigers and the Importance
of Trauma-Informed Care in our Community
Thursday, May 4, 2017
8:30 am—3:00 pm
McCoart Government Building
Individual trauma results from an event, series of events, or set
of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as
physically or emotionally harmful or threatening, and that has
lasting adverse effects on the individual's functioning and
physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. The
individual's experience of these events or circumstances helps
to determine whether it is a traumatic event. http://
www.samhsa.gov/traumajustice/traumadefinition/
definition.aspx
Join us for a screening of Paper Tigers and a panel discussion
about the impacts of trauma on children’s mental health and
how we as a community can continue making a difference. Paper Tigers chronicles the lives of teenagers who
have many adverse childhood experiences and how a dedicated school staff changes their learning
environment and lives by embracing trauma-informed care practices. The film is a story of adversity,
education, and hope. Research has shown that many young people become resilient with the support of one
caring adult. The panelists include local experts on trauma-informed practices and communities. Discussion
of the film and the role of community members in building our own trauma-informed network will be
highlighted before lunch.
In the afternoon, Trauma 101 will be presented by Fairfax County’s Trauma-Informed Community
Network. Trauma 101 covers three core areas: recognizing the signs of trauma, understanding how the
effects of trauma may influence the people you work with, and understanding individual roles in working
with people affected by trauma. In closing, participants will learn about upcoming trauma-informed care
policy and practice initiatives in our community.
Please register by Tuesday, May 2 by emailing Heather Martinsen at [email protected]
Lunch will be provided.
For any questions about the event, please contact Heather Martinsen at 703-792-7739
or [email protected]
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SAVE THE DATE
May is Mental Health Awareness Month—and we believe it’s the ideal time to do our part
in bringing mental health and addiction out of the shadows.
Open Minds: Talking together about mental health and addiction
Tuesday, May 9 from 5:00 pm to 8:00 pm
at the Hylton Performing Arts Center
10960 George Mason Circle in Manassas
Keynote Speaker:
Dr. Karyn O’Brien, PSYD, Clinical Psychologist
We hope you will join us for this free and informative mental health and addiction forum, as we examine
the behavioral health challenges that our communities are facing. Dr. O’Brien will present the keynote
address, and other local experts including psychiatrists and therapists will conduct a panel discussion.
Individual breakout sessions will cover a range of child and adult behavioral topics.
Mark your calendar and join us for this important and enlightening event.
Presented by Novant Health—UVA Health System in collaboration with
Prince William County Community Services and NAMI-PW.
To RSVP, please visit www.NovantHealthUVA.org/openminds
Remember NAMI-PW
when making your holiday, birthday and special occasion purchases
If you shop Amazon, make your purchases through smile.amazon.com, search and select NAMI Prince
William as your charity in the upper right-hand corner of the screen. NAMI-PW will receive 0.5% of the
purchase price with no cost to you!
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WHAT’S HAPPENING
Registration ended April 28 - Call Sarah Wilson above, left under Contact to see if space is still available.
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THINGS TO KNOW
NAMI PRINCE WILLIAM FAMILY SUPPORT GROUPS
The challenges of mental illness do not only affect an individual's family members but also friends,
teachers, neighbors, coworkers and others in the community. “Family member” and “caregiver” refer to
anyone giving emotional, financial or practical support to a person with a mental health condition.
Whether you're providing a lot of assistance or very little, the information and support you receive from
a NAMI Family Support Group can help you better understand the issues that you might face. (Excerpt
from: http://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Family-Members-and-Caregivers.)
The most important thing to know is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Below are the three NAMI Family Support
Groups currently being held in Prince William County:
WOODBRIDGE:
Second Tuesday of the Month, 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm
Sentara Potomac Hospital
Room "C" in the Hylton Education Center
2300 Opitz Boulevard, Woodbridge, VA
Contact: Jeri Weeks, 703-590-0783
Third Sunday of the Month, 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm
Sentara Potomac Hospital
Room "D" in the Hylton Education Center
2300 Opitz Boulevard, Woodbridge, VA
(Group focus is families with dependent children –
youth through age 26, but open to all.)
Contact: Donna Fortunato, 571-437-4579
Most family members attend the groups when
their loved one is in crisis. When the crisis is
over, they stop coming. Get in the habit of
attending every month, whether things are
going well or not. That way, if a crisis does hit,
you know where you need to be. And
remember, there are others who are new to
this journey, and they need the support you can
offer.
MANASSAS:
Last Monday of the Month, 7:30 pm to 9 pm
Public Works Facility
8500 Public Works Drive, Manassas, VA
Contacts: Lois Sirgany, 703-361-6707 and
Christine Mendez
HAYMARKET: NEW GROUP!!
Third Tuesday of the Month, 6:30 pm to 8:00 pm
Haymarket Gainesville Community Library
14870 Lightner Road, Haymarket, VA
Contacts: Liz Downey 561-578-1370 and
Bonnie Cuppett
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WHAT’S UP?
MAY GENERAL MEETING
Join us on Thursday, May 18, 6:30 pm
Approximately 100 community partners attended the Child
Protection Partnership Luncheon in April, Pat Victorson and NAMI
Prince William were commended for community involvement.
On April 20, Pat Victorson provided an update
of NAMI events to 24 attendees at the DIVERT
meeting.
Phil Ross presented a
jam-packed overview
of the Greater Prince
William Jail Diversion
Program - DIVERT on
April 24 at NAMI-PW’s
General Meeting.
An Overview of
Community Services Board
Learn what services and programs the CSB
offers for Adult and Youth Mental Health
Presented by
Carol Thacker - Program Manager
Chris Smith - Emergency Services
Tanya Odell - New Horizons
Public Works Building
8500 Public Works Dr., Manassas, VA 20110
PLEASE RSVP
by calling the NAMI office at 703-659-9983
This presentation is free and open to the public.
Light refreshments.
Children’s Mental Health Month
To kick off Children's Mental Health Month (May),
The New Life Christian Church held the first in a
quarterly series of mental health forums at Piney
Branch Elementary School in Bristow on April 29.
The presenters included Heather Martinsen, MSB
from the Community Services Board; Christina
Devers, LCSW from Prince William County
Schools; Jeanne Brown, LPC, CSAC, National
Counseling Group; Alicia Martinez, student; Jordan
Chenetter of Phoenix Counseling Group; and, our
very own Pat Victorson from the NAMI Board.
Over 35 people came to learn about community
mental health resources. The highlight of the forum
was a powerful presentation and video made by a
local high school student about being bullied, the
resulting mental health issues she experienced, and
her subsequent recovery.
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THINGS TO KNOW
Numbers Served
During April
NAMI-PW served 119 individuals
19 email inquiries and phone calls
69 attended NAMI Presentations
13 attended April General Meeting—DIVERT
WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU
If you’d like to share your “journey” with
mental illness, do a book review, have
topics you’d like to know more about,
advise us of any mental health events in
upcoming months, please send your input
to the Editor at [email protected]
no later than the 20th of the month.
2 attended NAMI Peer-to-Peer Education
16 attended NAMI Family Support Groups
DUES ARE GOING UP
If you have not joined as a member or
renewed your membership dues, keep
in mind that as of July 1, 2017,
membership dues will be going up. We
will keep you posted.
MEMBERSHIP: Regular $35
SPONSORSHIP:  Family $55
Open Door $3
 Professional $65
Corporate $250
NAMI Membership exists at 3 levels: Affiliate, State & National. NAMI Prince William
(NAMI-PW) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit, charitable organization—contributions are tax-deductible
to the fullest extent allowed by law. Together, we can continue to fight for all those affected by
mental illness. PLEASE NOTE: In order for NAMI-PW to receive your full donation, please
send your donation to the NAMI-PW office. Thank you!
CONTRIBUTIONS BENEFIT NAMI-PW, A NOT-FOR-PROFIT TAX EXEMPT
ORGANIZATION, TAX ID 64-0958983. A COPY OF THE OFFICIAL REGISTRATION
AND FINANCIAL INFORMATION OF NAMI-PW MAY BE OBTAINED FROM THE
VIRGINIA STATE OFFICE OF CONSUMER AFFAIRS, DEPARTMENT OF
AGRICULTURAL AND CONSUMER SERVICES, P.O.BOX 1163, RICHMOND, VA 23218.
REGISTRATION DOES NOT IMPLY ENDORSEMENT, APPROVAL OR
RECOMMENDATION BY THE STATE. NAMI-PW RECEIVES 100% OF EACH
P.O. Box 1423
Woodbridge, VA 22195-1423
T 703-659-9983
Email: [email protected]
Website: nami-pw.org
Members are NAMI-PW’s
lifeblood; your membership
helps us continue to provide
free outreach, support &
education. In bringing
mental health issues to
wider attention, we
Check here for renewal: Date:______________ I’d like to support NAMIadvocate for better
PW with a donation of:
treatment. As our
Name:_____________________________________
__ $25 __ $50 __ $100 membership base grows,
Address:___________________________________
other: $____
our voice becomes
 I’d like to volunteer for
stronger.
City/St:____________________________________
Zip:___________....Phone:____________________
Email:_____________________________________
NAMI-PW’s 2017 Go Green
for Mental Health Walk.
I wish to receive NAMI
National’s solicitations.
Respect, Compassion &
Hope … NAMI Works!
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