Effective Communication
in the Professional
Environment
R. Kevin Grigsby, DSW
Senior Director, Organizational
Leadership Development
U. of Massachusetts Medical Center
September 2010
Objectives
By the end of this presentation, participants will be able
to:
1. Describe the importance of effective interpersonal
1
communication across the organizational culture of
academic medicine.
2. Describe four communications tools to enhance
interpersonal communication.
3. Describe the process of communicating messages
3
through organizations and how to enhance successful
communication across these organizations.
1
Every time we open our mouths to speak, we are
takingg a leapp of faith – faith that what we sayy
will be understood by our listeners, more or less
as we mean it.
D. Tannen (1994) Talking from 9 to 5. New
York: Morrow
Morrow, p.
p 242.
242
Temperament Matters
Preferences or styles of communicating vary across
temperament groups
What is very
y comfortable to one pperson may
y be
antagonistic to others
Learning to tolerate and appreciate differences can be
very helpful
2
Strategies
Self-knowledge
Knowledge of others
Willingness to “really” listen
Willingness to make changes
Difficult Conversations
 Differences in temperament may make it easier or
more difficult to communicate
 It may feel like you are communicating with the
“communication challenged”
3
Difficult Conversations
Commitment to problem solving is essential
• Very easy to perpetuate conflict
• May not be conscious or deliberate
Why is it “Difficult?”
Important issue – Uncertain outcome
Self-esteem may be at risk
One cares deeply about the topic
One cares deeply about the other parties
4
What are the Purposes of Conversation?
•Deliver a message
•Prove
ove a point
po
•Get them to do what you want
•Expression of emotion
•Solve a problem
The difficulty is that
message delivery
is not the same as
problem solvingg
p
5
A Shift is Necessary
One must move from “message delivery” to “learning.”
Every conversation has three parts:
• What happened?
• Feelings
• Identity
What happened?
What’s the story here?
Problems
• The truth assumption
 I’m right – You’re wrong
• The intention assumption
 I know why you did what you did
• Thee blame
b a e game
ga e
 It’s your fault
6
Feelings
What are we to do with our feelings?
• The core of the conversation is about feelings
• Need
N d tto be
b authentic
th ti
• Expression of feelings – not an acting out of rage
Identity
What does this say about me?
What are the implications about my self image?
• Don’t lose balance
• This event does not define who you are.
7
A Learning Conversation
Understands how we create our “stories” through
assumptions
• Our observations
• Our interpretations
• Our conclusions
Adopting the “And” Stance
You do not have to choose between your story and the
story of the other
Separate intent from impact
Forget about blame
• Both parties have contributed
• Focus on the future rather than on the past
8
Creating a Learning Conversation
Determine your purpose for having the conversation
Begin from the “third story”
Listen from the inside out
Speak for yourself with clarity and power
Take the lead in problem solving
To Get Started . . .
Stop arguing about who is right
Don’t assume they meant it
Abandon blame
Have your feelings
• Or they will have you
Ground your identity
9
Describe the problem as the
difference between your two stories
Invite them to join you as a partner
in sorting out the situation together
10
Listen to their perspective on
what happened
Share your own point of view: past
experiences, intentions, and feelings
11
Reframe
Shift from “truth” to “perceptions”
• We have different information
• We
W have
h
different
diff
interpretations
i
i
• Our conclusions reflect self interest
Shift from “blame” to “contribution”
• Explore the contributions
Shift from
f
“accusation”
“
ti ” to
t “feelings”
“f li ”
• What is the root of these feelings?
Problem Solve
Invent options that meet each party’s priorities
What standards should prevail?
• Laws, policies, etc.
Listen, listen, listen
Take the lead in offering a solution
Ask for the other party’s solution
12
Intent versus Impact
Separate intent from impact
• What you say may not be understood as you
intended it to be understood
• The impact – whether intended or not – will
influence the behavior of the other person
What To Do . . .
ACT
• Acknowledge you are hurt – and accept that someone
hurt you
• Choose to see things the way you want them to be
• Take action to make things that way
13
How to Take Action
Tell the person you have been hurt
• The impact of their words or actions may not have been
intended
• IT’S OK TO TELL THIS TO PATIENTS OR COWORKERS!!!
Choose the right time, right place as best you can
• Out of the public view for most
• When you have enough time to deal with the problem
Start with “I feel/felt”
Starting with “you” tends to create an immediate
defensiveness
Don t follow “I”
Don’t
I with “always”
always or “never”
never
• It probably isn’t true
Feelings get to the heart of the matter
• Own your feelings, or they will own you!
14
Follow with “Hurt”
It’s the truth!
And then state “when” rather than “because”
• Don’t make the causal attribution
• Point out when and where it happened
• You want them to acknowledge and understand your
point of view
Describe the Behavior
When you said “You never do anything right”
When you left didn’t respond when I said “Good
morning!”
i !”
When I overheard you talking about my job performance
15
Give Them a Chance to Respond
Most of the time, you will get an apology and
an explanation
Sometimes persons will express embarrassment
or shame
Accept it
If warranted, offer an alternative behavior
Setting a clear, firm boundary may be
necessary
• Especially if the hurt has been physical
The Most Difficult Part?
Keeping communication open as you move forward
• It’s a new and somewhat strange feeling for many
persons
• Use the EASY method if you can’t remember the
steps or if you don’t have time to prepare.
16
Make conversations EASY
Use the EASY model to engage others:
licit information – “Tell
Tell me more
more”,, “Go
Go on . . ..”
sk questions – “What led you to that
conclusion?”, “How do you feel about that?”
tate the obvious – “Let me see if I have this
right. You are saying . . .”
ou might be wrong in your interpretation –
What is obvious to you – or to the other party –
is not obvious to others.
Critical comments get results
Ask three questions of yourself:
1. Is this the right
g setting?
g
2. Am I the right person to offer the comments?
3. Do we have enough time to process the
conversation?
If the answer to all three is “yes,” then use the
following formula:
17
Critical comments (2)
Start your comments with “I”, not “you.”
Don’t follow with “always” or “never.”
Follow "I" with “feel” and then describe your affective state
Follow your feelings with “when,” not “because.”
Offer the criticism in the form of describing the person’s behavior
Offer/
suggest an alternative behavior “please let me finish my statement before speaking.”
Critical comments (3)
Put it all together:
“I feel hurt when I am not assigned to the really fun
projects. Would you please ask me about whether I
might want to participate when you make work
g
assignments?”
18
Avoid the knowing–doing gap
Use a solution-focused approach:
1. Keeps conversations away from whining
2. Keeps teams focused on problem solving and
from making the error of thinking that talking
about something is the same as doing
something – it
it’ss not the same!.
same!
Remain solution-focused
When engaged in a conversation and the other party
offers criticism, but no proposed solution, prompt them
by stating “I understand your comments and feel some
of them are valid criticisms. But please tell me, “What
is your solution?”
Agree that if no solution is offered, the group will stick
to a solution that has been proposed OR will continue
to work to find a better solution
Pfeffer J. & Sutton RI. The knowing-doing gap. Boston: Harvard Business
Press, 2000.
19
Remain solution-focused
Start by
gathering your
team mates and
explain the
model to them.
Ask them to
agree to adopt
the “solution
focused” model
for team related
conversations.
The solution-focused model
Criticism alone can be irresponsible, as it does not lead to solving
problems
problems.
Agree that when criticizing, one must present a possible solution.
If you do not have a proposed solution, be brave and admit you have no
solution, but are willing to keep working with the group to find a solution.
g to compromise.
p
Be willing
Be prepared to accept individual responsibility.
20
If your feelings are hurt, ACT
cknowledge/Accept you have been hurt
hoose to view things the way you
want them to be
ake action to make things that way
(See www.academyofct.org to view information about Aaron Beck, MD
and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – CBT)
Next Steps
Take stock of what you learned
Ask yourself about how it made you feel
Challenge your uncertainties by asking:
• What should I change in my own responses to
these difficulties?
21
What is communication?
The exchange of ideas, messages, or information, as by
speech, signals or writing
• Not limited to humans, but this mistake is often made
because humans have spoken language
• Communication is much more than “talking to each
other”
Types of communication
Auditory (spoken)
Visual (gestures, eye contact)
Tactile (touch)
Olfactory (smell and taste)
Codes (writing
(writing, electronic,
electronic art/graphics)
22
Id or
Idea
Concept is
“Born”
Id /
Idea/
Content is
Refined
Message is
carefully crafted
Coherent and
consistent
Receiver (audience)
is targeted
Appropriate Channels
for Communication
Identified
Opinion Leaders
Multiple types of channels
Identified
(phone, email, memo)
23
Some get
the
message;
some don’t
Message is
repeated to
targeted audience
Opinion leaders
get message and
others approach
them for info.
Message is
understood
Behavior
Behavior
occurs!
occurs
Observed/
Measurable
Communication is not necessarily the
same as a message.
24
A message is a discrete communication
targeted at a receiver
Important concepts
Message
g – content ((Sayy what?))
Channel – process (How it travels)
Receiver – audience (To whom?
25
Important concepts, continued
Outcome – how many received message?
• Sometimes referred to as penetration.
Impact – behavioral change (Can be measured)
Research on channels has shown that
interpersonal channels are generally
more efficient . . .
But individual perceptions of organizational
information-sharing norms influences the use of
interpersonal channels
26
Personal social networks are critical . . .
People
P
l invest
i
t greatt effort
ff t to
t maintain
i t i
links with networks of others – and
these networks are very significant
as we organize information
27
Receivers (audiences)
For whom the message is intended
May be one person
May be every person
May be aimed directly or indirectly
Receivers (audiences)
May have many common characteristics
• All women
May be a single characteristic (HOGS - Harley Owners
Group members)
28
Outcome
Was the message received?
B th
By
the targeted
t
t d audience?
di
?
Did they understand (decode) the message as intended?
Impact
If the message was received by the targeted audience
and was understood (decoded) as intended,
intended did it have
an effect?
• Can you measure a change in knowledge or behavior?
29
Impact
• This may
y not be readilyy apparent
pp
 Sometimes called “sleeper effects”
 Example: use of text messaging in an emergency
The BIG Question
If I send a message to the campus, it seems like no one
h received
has
i d it – or even seen/heard
/h d it! Wh
Why is
i it so hard
h d
to get a message to everyone in a timely manner?
30
What is the process?
An idea is formulated (cognition)
The idea is encoded (speech, graphics, writing)
The intended receiver (audience) is identified
What is the process?
One or more channels selected to transmit message
The receiver (audience) decodes the message and
understands as intended
31
Things may go wrong . . .
Wrong channels selected
D di iis faulty
Decoding
f lt
No change in knowledge or no behavioral response
The elements of a well-crafted message and
process
The idea has been tested for coherence
Encoding is clear
clear, simple,
simple and unitary
The receiver (audience) is selected
32
The elements of a well-crafted message and
process
Channels identified
Message is properly decoded
Change in knowledge - behavioral response occurs
The bad news . . .
Even if a coherent, clear message is received through
properly
p y decoded,, the receiver may
y
channels and is p
reject the message
33
The bad news . . .
• Message seen as unimportant and it is forgotten
• May disagree with message and reject it
• May doubt credibility of the sender or of the message
itself
What else improves the chances of success?
The information is desired
• Receiver
R i
wants to know,
k
especially
i ll if urgent
The source is seen as credible
• High level of trust of the sender or channel
34
What else improves the chances of success?
The message is repeated
• Received once,
once it may be doubted
• Received repeatedly adds credibility
Received through multiple channels adds credibility
If you really want someone to
“get it”, interpersonal works best
35
Opinion Leaders
Within social networks, there are persons whose beliefs,
practices, and behaviors are noticed an imitated by
others
th
Opinion Leaders Are NOT the Same as
Gossips
Opinion leaders know facts
• Cognition
C
iti
 Nothin’ but the facts . . .
36
Opinion Leaders Are NOT the Same as
Gossips
Gossips thrive on rumor, speculation, and the emotional
rather than the cognitive
• Affective
 Who cares about the facts! Did you hear what s/he
said to . . . ?
Opinion Leaders Are the Same as Others in
Many Ways
Personality
y traits
Demographics
Social class
37
But Differ from the Typical Person in Some
Other Ways
They rely on different types of information than others
y have ggreater involvement with the mass media
They
But Differ from the Typical Person in Some
Other Ways
They are more socially gregarious
• Highly interconnected with the community
They are typically more involved with social groups,
clubs, professional orgs
They are more price and style conscious
38
How to identify opinion leaders
Ask members of a social network:
• From whom do you seek advice? Or
• When you want to know what is really going on,
who do you ask?
• Example: Family Support Workers in New Haven
If you can get the message to the
opinion leaders, others will get the
message more readily than by other
channels.
39
The Two-Step Flow
Use a third party to pass information along
• May give credence to your message
• Can extend your reach into a group
The Two-Step Flow
• Can move rapidly (telephone trees)
• In selected situations, may allow you to “test”
messages
 Send a message to one or two opinion leaders and
get a feel for the reaction to the message
40
Most successful when:
A coherent,, consistent message
g is presented
p
repeatedly at different times through multiple
channels
The intended receiver (audience) is targeted
Most successful when:
The intended receiver wants or needs the information in
the message
Opinion leaders receive the message
Others receive message from opinion leaders through
word of mouth
41
Diffusion of Innovations
The process by which an innovation is
communicated through certain
channels over time among the
members of a social system
– EM Rogers Diffusion of Innovations, 5th ed. New York: The Free Press,
2003.
Diffusion of Innovators
Reference: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wfryer/1342355056
42
The Innovator Theory
Reference: http://www.mitsue.co.jp/english/case/concept/02.html>
Cases
43
Proud Department Chair
As department chair, you are very proud of your department.
What was once a division, is now a separate department. Most of
the faculty members have been with the division/department for
several yyears and feel a sense of ownershipp for the department
p
and its success. Two years ago, you successfully recruited a
junior faculty member to the department. To date, the faculty
member has been “a star” in terms of productivity having
generated RVUs well above departmental benchmarks. However,
his patient satisfaction scores are well below other faculty
members and well below medical center benchmarks. Likewise,
several student evaluation comments have described him in very
unflattering terms.
How would you engage the faculty member in a discussion about
the need for improved performance?
Stinky student . . .
A post doc in a lab comes to you in your role as PI.
One of the grad students assigned to the lab has
poor ppersonal hygiene:
p
yg
students and technicians
have complained to each other about it. He doesn't
shave, looks disheveled, doesn't shower regularly,
and has a foul body odor. The post-doc asks you to
intervene.
How would y
you approach
pp
the student and deal with
this problem?
44
Troubles, troubles, troubles
You are a faculty member at a large university. One of
your colleagues is also a friend. You know he has been
having personal problems at home. This person may be
on the
h verge off divorce,
di
andd you think
hi k he/she
h / h has
h been
b
drinking excessively after work. While on the job, this
person is often angry, detached, and appears to lack
concern for the faculty, staff and students. No one has
complained of smelling alcohol on his breath.
How would approach this issue with your colleague?
Someone is in trouble . . .
As a senior faculty member with a busy lab you observe a
senior post doc chastising a competent, yet quiet technician for
failing to complete a task. You are aware that the specific task
was assigned to another technician – because you made the
assignment! In response to the senior post doc, the technician
says nothing, but quickly completes the task. At that point, the
senior post doc tells the technician: “It’s about time someone
did some work around here.”
How ddo you address
H
dd
this
hi situation
i
i with
i h the
h technician?
h i i ? How
H
do you address this situation with the senior post doc?
45
Poor performing student
As a member of the faculty, you have a large and
complex research laboratory. One of the grad students,
who achieved a near perfect GPA, is not performing up
t expectations.
to
t ti
He/she
H / h is
i disorganized,
di
i d slow,
l
forgetful,
f
tf l
and inefficient. He/she seems to try hard, but can't see
the big picture. When frustrated, he/she gets very upset
and often cries.
How would you address these performance issues?
Love is everywhere . . .
You open a linen closet to obtain a towel for one of
your patients - you were just passing by and decided to
get it yourself
g
y
rather than botheringg the nursingg staff
with the patient’s request. As you open the closet, you
find a resident and a medical student in the midst of a
passionate kiss.
What should you do?
46
Senior faculty taking credit?
As a post-doc, you have a strong interest in sleep disorders. You
were invited by a senior faculty member to become involved in
research in the sleep lab. Shortly after you started, the senior
faculty member asked you to complete a literature review on
treating sleep apnea with dental devices. You completed a
comprehensive review and gave it to the PI. Yesterday, a
graduate student working in the lab showed you a draft
manuscript - the researcher’s name is listed as the sole author.
You are not listed as an author, but see your text verbatim in the
b d off the
body
th manuscript.
i t You
Y are concernedd about
b t receiving
i i
credit for your hard work.
What do you do?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Your department – and your lab – have been stretched to the
limit because of a recent hiring freeze. There are several open
support positions – but you can not fill them due to the freeze.
One afternoon, you hear the voice of your senior post
post-doc
doc in
the hallway. She shouts “Just do your damn job!” to one of the
few research technicians who are still in place. The tech replies
assertively: “I’m doing my job – I can’t do yours, too –
Disrespecting me doesn’t help.”
You know you need to address this issue with the post doc.
doc
Should you do it immediately? Is it better to wait to see if the
post doc addresses the issue with the technician without your
prompting?
47
Missing in action . . .
A new faculty member recently joined your department and is in
the start-up phase of establishing a new lab. You have heard
only good things about the new faculty member. However, you
have noticed a pattern of work left partially completed, arriving
l t for
late
f meetings,
ti
andd falling
f lli asleep
l
during
d i group meetings.
ti
This morning, an hour past the time the new faculty member
was scheduled to meet with you, you ask other faculty and staff
members about his/her whereabouts. They report not knowing
and appear to be very uneasy when ask about the missing PI. As
you are very busy, you go about your work. When others
prepare to exit that day, he is not present. You ask again about
him and no one says
y anything.
y
g The next morning
g he arrives on
time, but says nothing about the prior day.
How would you address this issue with the faculty member.
Sexy student . . .
It’s the beginning of lab rotations for the grad students in your
program. It’s a small department and everyone gets to know
everyone else. After a few days, you notice one of the female
students has a pattern of dressing provocatively: bare midriff
tops; miniskirts; low-cut blouses. To date, her performance has
been acceptable, she has good social skills, and she is often first
to volunteer to learn new techniques. However, you overhear
several male and female technicians making comments about
her provocative dress and speculating about her “extracurricular
activities.”
Address this situation as a leader and role model in the
department.
48
High profile boss
A post doctoral fellow in the laboratory of a high-profile scientist in your
department comes to see you in your role as a faculty member and PI. She
reports feeling thrilled to get a postdoctoral appointment in this lab because of
p
a lot of time “on the
her PI’s international pprofile. You know the PI spends
road” and she is left in the lab to work on assignments. There are two other
postdoctoral scholars, one technician, and one graduate student in the lab, all
from a similar cultural background. All of them speak English as a second
language and communicate verbally with one another in a language the post
doc does not understand. You learn she is not quite clear about what language
they are using. She finds it difficult to interact with the others and says it has
begun to effect the quality of her research. She needs the assistance of the
technician, but there is a “communication gap” requiring the assistance of the
PI to communicate effectively with the technician. She asks you for advice
about how to ask the PI to stop traveling so much and to spend more time onsite. How would you address this situation?
Star scientist with uneven performance
You are very proud of your laboratory. What was once a small 660 sq
ft lab and two offices, is now a separate wing on your building. Most of
the other faculty members have been with the department for several
years and feel a sense of ownership for the department and its success.
Two years ago, your chair successfully recruited a junior faculty
member from another university into the department to serve as a core
facility director . To date, the faculty member has been “a star” in terms
of operating the core facility. However, you know his teaching
satisfaction scores are well below other faculty members and well
below university benchmarks. Likewise, several student and
technicians describe him in very unflattering terms, especially with
regard to his treatment of women.
women
How would you address this issue?
49