THE FLOATING OPERA
VISUALLY COOL AND PLEASANTLY NUMB
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Sunrise breaks on a tropical flat
On the bow of a skiff
Nothing better than that
The water’s gettin’ nervous
And we’re waiting for the bones to show.
A day in the sun
Leaves you thirsty and beat
You settle down, kick back
And put up your feet
Let me tell you something
That I bet you already know
Chorus
I like it hot with a touch of sea breeze
Iced-cold Belikin beer, if you please
I like my ocean warm and blue
And just a little bit wavy
I’ve got my guitar
And I’m starting to strum
I’m visually cool and pleasantly numb
I’m addicted to the tropical life
Don’t try to save me
I don’t like the snow
And I don’t like to ski
Seventy-five is pretty chilly to me
Put me where the air is thick
And the palm trees grow
A long stretch of beach
With nobody there
Plenty to drink and nothing to wear
Let me tell you something
That I bet you already know
Repeat Chorus
THE FLOATING OPERA
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Chorus
We’ve got beer kegs and crab legs
And spiced rum and weenies
And guitars and steel drums
And girls in bikinis
We’re laughing, we’re singing
We’re dancing, we’re high
One hellacious Floating Opera going by
Let’s go out on the boat
It’s such a beautiful day
So we pull out of St. Michaels
For a spin ‘round the Chesapeake Bay
We’ve got bars to explore
We’ve got the whole damn Eastern shore
We’ve got sunny skies and light winds
Food and booze and good friends
We’re gonna have ourselves
A party along the way
Repeat Chorus
There’s a sailboat in distress
And we feared the worst
It was cruising with an all girl crew
So we’re glad we got there first
Didn’t have to ask them twice
They were running low on ice
Their beer supply depleted
No, no your bathing suits aren’t needed
Hop on board before you die of thirst
Repeat Chorus
What was in that crazy potion we drank
That made us form that conga line
And dance right off the plank
We continued to explore
Kent Island to Baltimore
The sun was a tiny sliver
When we cruised up the Choptank River
Mooning everybody on the shore
Repeat Chorus
GULF COAST HIGHWAY
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Adios my Kemah-sabes
I’m leaving town today
Got my route picked out
But there ain’t no doubt
I’m bound to wander along the way
I’m gonna head for some greener waters
I want to chase the morning sun
Sample the simple pleasures
I want to make that highway run
Towns and rivers rolling by my window
Open road as far as I can see
Ocean vistas far and wide
When I’m racing by the waterside
Running wild and fast
Breaking free at last
Chorus
Down the Gulf Coast Highway
Gonna take the back road by the sea
Running wild and free
Down the Gulf Coast Highway
Such a perfect way to leave
Running all the way
From Texas to the Keys
Said my good-byes to Texas
Fell in love down in New Orleans
Kinda stumbled in Biloxi
And a few spots in between
Caught my breath out on St. George Island
Made the turn at Cedar Key
I’ve got a lot of miles behind me
And there’s so much left to see
Towns and rivers rolling by my window
Open road as far as I can see
Ocean vistas far and wide
When I’m racing by the waterside
Running wild and fast
Breaking free at last
Repeat Chorus
Ocean vistas far and wide
When I’m racing by the waterside
Running wild and fast
Breaking free at last
Repeat Chorus
SO BAD LAST NIGHT
© Jerry Jeff Walker Groper Music/BMI
When the telephone woke me this morning
I’m sorry was the first thing I said
From that point it gets a bit fuzzy
Thinking with half of a head
Trying to put the pieces together
It’s shocking to flash on the past
Cause when you are known as a rascal
It’s a good bet you have showed off your ass
I was so damned bad last night.
I’ll be good for the rest of my life
I tore up the bar
Lost a pretty nice car
And it’s a good bet
I have ticked off my wife
From now on I’m gonna act right
That’s right
I was so damned bad last night
The harder I try to remember
The quicker my brain starts to hurt
It really is funny unwadding the money
That’s stuff in my pants and my shirt
Trying to make sense of phone numbers
Scribbled on the back of old cards
I guess that I ought to be thankful
Nobody knows who we are
I was so damned bad last night.
I’ll be good for the rest of my life
I’m telling you and this is the truth
I have finally seen the light
From now on I’m gonna act right
That’s right
I was so damned bad last night
I never intended to do it
I just stopped in for one drink or two
But all of the chicks were so foxy
I wanted to marry a few
The place was more crowded than usual
And everybody there was my friend
Franny and Snake, Ol’ Bunky and Jake
Sometime the night never ends
Repeat Chorus
From now on I’m gonna act right, NOT
I was so damned bad last night.
Yes I was
IT WON’T BLEED BUT IT HURTS REAL BAD
© 2002 by Jim Morris
I never thought I’d see you
Standing there in tears
You were such a strong one
And always faced your fears
You finally let your guard down
You finally took a chance
But you turned out to be
Another victim of romance
Oh baby, I’d make it better if I could
It’s driving you crazy
Cause love has never felt that good
Give it time and you’ll be fine
Darling don’t be sad
It won’t bleed, but it hurts real bad
It won’t bleed, but it hurts real bad
All his words were magic
He made you feel so good
He told you that he loved you
You thought he always would
Though your heart’s been shattered
From the wreckage that I see
I think he left you in better shape
Than you left me
Oh baby, I’d make it better if I could
It’s driving you crazy
Cause love’s never felt that good
Let me tell you what I learned
Darling don’t be sad
It won’t bleed, but it hurts real bad
It won’t bleed, but it hurts real bad
Repeat Chorus
GIMME A RIDE TO HEAVEN BOY
© Terry Allen Greenshoes Publishing/BMI
I was caught up with myself
On the highway at night
Driving like a bat out of hell
When I observed an amazing sight
Just a lonely apparition
By the roadside standing there
With his thumb out in the wildness
And a halo in his hair
Chorus
He said give me a ride to heaven, boy
I’ll show you a paradise
Give me a ride to heaven, boy
My name is Jesus Christ
Well I came screeching to a halt
And I said, hey, hop on in
He said thanks a lot for the lift
I forgive you of your sin
Well I just came from Jerusalem
Where things are going bad
Give me a ride to heaven, boy
I need to talk to my dad.
Repeat Chorus
Well, I didn’t know just what to do
So I jammed her down in gear
Kinda kicked my feet beneath the seat
I was trying to hide the beer
Well, he just grinned and said, my friend
I know you must think it’s odd
But have no fear about drinking a beer
If you share it with the son of God
Repeat Chorus
I saw good news in his baby blues
So I jammed her on the floor
I said you gotta tell me
How to get there
I ain’t been before
Well it’s a hard place to find my friend
But let me give you just a little clue
It ain’t somewhere up in the air
It’s right here inside with you
So right in the middle
Of that perfect smile
From his robe he pulled a gun
He stuck it up beside my head
And says how’s this for kingdom come
Well, he pulled off scared
But I heard him say
As he left me beneath the stars
The Lord moves in mysterious ways
But tonight, my son
He’s gonna use your car
Repeat Chorus
HELPING OUT A DEAR OLD FRIEND
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Imagine my surprise
When I saw you on that boat
You were speechless
And I was blown away
And it took me back in time
To the evening we first met
And the way you helped me
Through a trying day
You told me that you found
The perfect treatment for the blues
Good tequila
And a quick roll in the hay, let’s play
I can’t believe my eyes
It’s good to see you once again
Do you have an interest
In helping out a dear old friend
Who’d forget the time
When I stopped by late one night
I’d been drinking
And I fell right off your stairs
I landed upside down
Tangled in your shrubs
Till you found me
Hanging in midair
You told of a plan
To get me standing once again
Good tequila
And a quick roll in the hay, let’s play
What a stroke of luck
It’s good to see you once again
Do you have an interest
In helping out a dear old friend
I can’t believe the times
When you saved me from myself
You patched me up
And sent me on my way, let’s play
It feels so good to tell the stories
And relive those crazy times
But looking back
Now I can truly see
All the blunders that I made
And when you rushed right to my aid
I was in better hands
Than I deserved to be
But once more can’t we try
Your elixir for good-bye
Good tequila
And a quick roll in the hay, let’s play
I can’t believe my luck
It’s good to see you once again
Do you have an interest
In helping out a dear old friend
Helping out a dear old friend
Such a dear old friend
Helping out a dear old friend
LAID BACK ATTACK
© 2002 by Jim Morris
I’m here on Captiva Island
At a tropical resort
They’ve got flora and fauna
And all sorts of water sports
It’s my yearly business meeting
And it won’t cost me a dime
But I can’t help but think
There’s a better use of my time
Chorus
So, Monday I went fishing
With an old friend
Tuesday we went sailing
We found some great wind
Wednesday I met her
So Thursday’s just a blur
I had a laid back attack
And I don’t want to go back
I’m surrounded by consultants
They sure make a lot of dough
They have their noses in places
I don’t care to go
I’d rather network with pretty women
And train with alcohol
I’ll get more wisdom at the bar
From graffiti on the bathroom wall
Repeat Chorus
I haven’t made a single meeting
And I haven’t used my room
I smell a little like Captain Morgan’s
And her perfume
When they hand out the bonus money
I’ll stop by to say hello
But I can’t stay long
I have places I need to go
But she doesn’t know what that means
She sits on the levee that evening
The Mississippi rolls on to the sea
She looks at the moon
And wonders out loud
Hell, it’s the same moon
That’s shining on me
But the Montana moon
Catches your eye
It’s hung like the truth
On the face of the sky
And she’d know why
He told her good-bye
Montana Moon
Montana moon, Montana sky
He’s so far away
It brings a tear to his eye
But he knows why
He told her good-bye
Montana Moon
Montana Moon
Repeat Chorus
MONTANA MOON, MONTANA SKY
© 2002 by Jim Morris
He was stranded southwest of Wisdom
As the sun painted crimson fields
The hills bathed the evening in shadows
Night fell around him so real
The stranger was fighting his sorrow
As the western sun went down
Later he found his salvation
As the moon rose out of the ground
Montana moon Montana sky
He’s so far away
It brings a tear to his eye
But she’d know why
He told her good-bye
Montana moon
And his lady, she was a dancer
But she wouldn’t leave New Orleans
He said look to the sky for your answers
DON’T KNOW NOTHING ‘BOUT THE BLUES
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Went to the beach today
To check out the bar
Some crazy dude down there
Playin’ blues guitar
I said look around you buddy
Can’t you see where you are
We don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
The sun is shining
I’m kicking back in a chair
Half-naked girls
Walking ‘round everywhere
Life is a breeze and we ain’t got a care
We don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
Keep your songs of depression
Cause I’m not really depressed
You might get the impression
That I’m not really impressed
Don’t want to hear about
No life on the run
Don’t bring me down
I’m having too much fun
Running ‘round the beach
Getting pelted with sun
I don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
Don’t need your songs of depression
Cause I’m not really depressed
I guess you get the impression
That I’m not really impressed
Don’t want to hear about
No life on the run
Don’t bring me down
I’m having too much fun
Running ‘round the beach
Getting pelted with sun
I don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
Come on buddy
Can’t you hear what I say
Add some color to your wardrobe
And lose the beret
Grab a margarita
And life will be OK
We don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
No we don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
No we don’t know nothing
Absolutely nothing
No we don’t know nothing ‘bout the blues
THE GIRL WITH BLUEBERRY EYES
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Cold wet night and the rain drips in
And the smile disappears from my face
Another water town, another lonely place
A moonless night grips your heart so tight
That your soul can barely breathe
A whisper in the wind telling you to leave
Harbor lights and waterways
And the towns I left behind
Every single mile racing through my mind
Every turn is so uncertain
But I know this much is true
Sometimes I think of you
Mostly when it doesn’t pay me to
And I can’t help thinking about the time
That I thought I saw you
It was pouring rain
But the sun came shining through
In a town like a scene
From a picture postcard
I wiped my eyes and I looked real hard
At a pretty, blue-eyed blonde-haired girl
Sitting on her front porch step
And I walked by just hoping it was you.
I’ve wandered through so many towns
Some hell, some paradise
Haunted by a dream
And a girl with blueberry eyes
Every turn is so uncertain
But I know this much is true
Sometimes I think of you
Mostly when it doesn’t pay me to
And I can’t help thinking about
The time that I thought I saw you
It was pouring rain
But the sun came shining through
In a town like a scene
From a picture postcard
I wiped my eyes and I looked real hard
At a pretty, blue-eyed blonde-haired girl
Sitting on her front porch step
And I walked by just hoping it was you.
I walked by just hoping it was you
Yeah, I walked by just hoping it was you
I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME
© 2002 by Jim Morris
The night has settled in
Dawn is miles away
Outside this silent room,
I hear wind chimes play
And I know
Another night like this
A body soft and warm
Feelings cold and stark
A pair of frowning eyes,
Buried in the dark
But I know
We all have nights like this
I don’t even know your name
Or the secrets that you hide
The reasons why you came
Or what made me decide
I’ve got no promise for tomorrow
And I expect the same
My life is not your problem tonight, anyway
And I don’t even know your name
And when the morning light
Drapes across your eyes
There’s a telling glance
And polite good-byes
And I know
Just another night like this
The drifter’s life
Is the life I know
And my last good kiss
Was so long ago
But I know
We all need nights like this
I don’t even know your name
Or the secrets that you hide
The reasons why you came
Or what made me decide
I’ve got no promises for tomorrow
And I expect the same
My life is not your problem tonight, anyway
And I don’t even know your name
INSTANT BILLIONAIRE
© 2002 by Jim Morris
Billy bought some land
At a fraction of its worth
A thousand acres on the bright side
With a full view of the earth
He plans to make a fortune
When they colonize up there
He’s gonna freeze his head
Come back from the dead
And be an instant billionaire
Billy saw the ad
On the TV late one night
An investment situation
That suited him just right
For a secure financial future
You must get started soon
So he bought a thousand acres
In a prime spot on the moon
Billy bought some land
At a fraction of its worth
A thousand acres on the bright side
With a full view of the earth
In about 200 hundred years
They’ll put Disneyland up there
He’s gonna freeze his head
Come back from the dead
And be an instant billionaire.
He heard about cryogenics
One night on CNN
It’s possible to die
And return to life again
They put you in a canister
All frozen and secure
And they bring you back from deep freeze
Once they find a cure
Billy bought some land
At a fraction of its worth
A thousand acres on the bright side
With a full view of the earth
In about 200 hundred years
You’ ll see condos everywhere
He’s gonna freeze his head
Come back from the dead
And be an instant billionaire
You got Peter Finch, Merrill Lynch,
And don’t forget Charles Schwab
But Billy’s plan is simple
And just might do the job
Waterfront’s too pricey
And the best swampland is gone
Lunarticular is the future
And you bet I’m signing on
Repeat Chorus