LISTENING ON PURPOSE, Part 1
The King Who Loved Carpet
LESSON 7
May 17, 2008
Sabbath Afternoon
Today’s Reading
Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up
with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear.
James 1:19 (The Message)
Fools care nothing for thoughtful discourse; all they do is run off at the mouth.
When wickedness arrives, shame's not far behind; contempt for life is
contemptible. Many words rush along like rivers in flood, but deep wisdom flows
up from artesian springs. It’s not right to go easy on the guilty, or come down hard
on the innocent. The words of a fool start fights; do him a favor and gag him.
Fools are undone by their big mouths; their souls are crushed by their words.
Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in
your belly? Slack habits and sloppy work are as bad as vandalism. God’s name is
a place of protection--good people can run there and be safe. The rich think their
wealth protects them; they imagine themselves safe behind it. Pride first, then the
crash, but humility is precursor to honor. Answering before listening is both stupid
and rude. Proverbs 18:2-13 (The Message)
The beauties of nature have a tongue that speaks to us without ceasing. The
open heart can be impressed with the love and glory of God as seen in the works
of His hand. The listening ear can hear and understand the communications of
God through the things of nature. There is a lesson in the sunbeam and in the
various objects of nature that God has presented to our view. The green fields,
the lofty trees, the buds and flowers, the passing cloud, the falling rain, the
babbling brook, the sun, moon, and stars in the heavens--all invite our attention
and meditation, and bid us become acquainted with Him who made them all.
{TMK 144.4}
THE KING WHO LOVED CARPET
Once upon a time there was a king who never wore shoes. He was forever
bruising and scraping his royal feet. One day, completely exasperated with this
problem, he turned to his trusty minister and ordered: “I want you to carpet the
entire kingdom by tomorrow morning, or it’s off with your head!”
The poor minister sat up half the night thinking about this impossible task and
knowing full well that he would surely lose his head come morning. Suddenly, just
as the sun began to raise, his fear turned into joy. He had an idea. Bounding from
his bed, he ran to the royal carpetorium.
When the king awoke the next morning he jumped quickly out of bed and
hurried to the royal window to view his carpet-covered kingdom. Seeing not one
inch of carpet anywhere, he began bellowing for the minister, roaring wildly.
“Minister! Where’s my minister? I’ll have his head!”
At that very moment the minister appeared at the king’s door clutching a pair of
very foreign object in his hands. “Your Highness, please be so kind as to try these
first,” He begged. The king agreed, and in the wink of an eye the minister slipped
the world’s first pair of carpet slippers onto the king’s royal feet.
Instantly the kings’ anger turned to delight. Shuffling around the room with the
softness of the finest carpet in the kingdom beneath his feet, all he could do was
smile with every step.
1. What feelings do you think the minister might have had when the King
ordered him to carpet the entire kingdom?
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2. Was the minister truly listening to the King? How do you know?
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3. Was part of listening giving an answer right away? Explain your answer.
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4. Should you always react quickly when someone says something to you?
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5. Did “Today’s Reading” have any advice for someone in the minister’s
uncomfortable position? If so what was it?
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6. How important is it for Christians not to just hear but to listen? Explain
why.
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7. What is the difference between listening and hearing?
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Sunday
Today’s Reading
Proverbs 18:13 (New International Version)
13 He who answers before listening—
that is his folly and his shame.
Proverbs 17:19 (NIV)
“He who loves to quarrel loves sin.”
Never should we lose control of ourselves. Let us ever keep before us the
perfect Pattern. It is a sin to speak impatiently and fretfully or to feel angry--even
though we do not speak. We are to walk worthy, giving a right representation of
Christ. The speaking of an angry word is like flint striking flint: it at once kindles
wrathful feelings. {CG 95.1}
There is a wonderful power in silence. When impatient words are spoken to
you, do not retaliate. Words spoken in reply to one who is angry usually act as a
whip, lashing the temper into greater fury. But anger met by silence quickly dies
away. Let the Christian bridle his tongue, firmly resolving not to speak harsh,
impatient words. With the tongue bridled, he may be victorious in every trial of
patience through which he is called to pass. {RC 293.2}
. . . The tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." Only
by the Lord's help can we bring our thoughts and words into subjection to the will
of Christ. {RH, October 29, 1901 par. 10}
HERE’S WHAT I THINK
Sheilah and her mother are always fighting. Sheilah’s mother will say
something, and Sheliah will react by snapping at her, “You’re always on my
case!” Sometimes Sheilah will roll her eyes and sigh, or just ignore her mother.
Sheliah’s mother often responds by saying, “Because you never listen to me!”
Then Sheilah will click her teeth or go to her room. Both of them are frustrated.
What can each of them do to make things better between them?
Log on to http://guidemagazine.com/rtf to post your responses. Be up-front and
honest. Say what you think. The lines below are provided as an alternative to
posting.
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Monday
Today’s Reading
You will be reading and then comparing people from the Bible that listened and
didn’t listen. Please take your time. You may finish this portion on Friday.
1 Samuel 3 (New International Version)
1 The boy Samuel ministered before the LORD under Eli. In those days the word
of the LORD was rare; there were not many visions.
2 One night Eli, whose eyes were becoming so weak that he could barely see,
was lying down in his usual place. 3 The lamp of God had not yet gone out, and
Samuel was lying down in the temple of the LORD, where the ark of God was. 4
Then the LORD called Samuel.
Samuel answered, "Here I am." 5 And he ran to Eli and said, "Here I am; you
called me."
But Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down." So he went and lay down.
6 Again the LORD called, "Samuel!" And Samuel got up and went to Eli and
said, "Here I am; you called me."
"My son," Eli said, "I did not call; go back and lie down."
7 Now Samuel did not yet know the LORD : The word of the LORD had not yet
been revealed to him.
8 The LORD called Samuel a third time, and Samuel got up and went to Eli and
said, "Here I am; you called me."
Then Eli realized that the LORD was calling the boy. 9 So Eli told Samuel,
"Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is
listening.' " So Samuel went and lay down in his place.
10 The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel!
Samuel!"
Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."
11 And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that
will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle. 12 At that time I will carry
out against Eli everything I spoke against his family—from beginning to end. 13
For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew
about; his sons made themselves contemptible, [b] and he failed to restrain them.
14 Therefore, I swore to the house of Eli, 'The guilt of Eli's house will never be
atoned for by sacrifice or offering.' "
15 Samuel lay down until morning and then opened the doors of the house of the
LORD. He was afraid to tell Eli the vision, 16 but Eli called him and said,
"Samuel, my son."
Samuel answered, "Here I am."
17 "What was it he said to you?" Eli asked. "Do not hide it from me. May God
deal with you, be it ever so severely, if you hide from me anything he told you." 18
So Samuel told him everything, hiding nothing from him. Then Eli said, "He is the
LORD; let him do what is good in his eyes."
19 The LORD was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall
to the ground. 20 And all Israel from Dan to Beersheba recognized that Samuel
was attested as a prophet of the LORD. 21 The LORD continued to appear at
Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word.
1. Who was listening to God?
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2. Was there more than one person? Explain.
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3. What did those who were listening learn?
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4. What did they (or he) learn from listening?
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Numbers 13:26-33 (New International Version)
26 They came back to Moses and Aaron and the whole Israelite community at
Kadesh in the Desert of Paran. There they reported to them and to the whole
assembly and showed them the fruit of the land. 27 They gave Moses this
account: "We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk
and honey! Here is its fruit. 28 But the people who live there are powerful, and the
cities are fortified and very large. We even saw descendants of Anak there. 29
The Amalekites live in the Negev; the Hittites, Jebusites and Amorites live in the
hill country; and the Canaanites live near the sea and along the Jordan."
30 Then Caleb silenced the people before Moses and said, "We should go up
and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it."
31 But the men who had gone up with him said, "We can't attack those people;
they are stronger than we are." 32 And they spread among the Israelites a bad
report about the land they had explored. They said, "The land we explored
devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. 33 We
saw the Nephilim there (the descendants of Anak come from the Nephilim). We
seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them."
Numbers 14 (New International Version)
1 That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud.
2 All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly
said to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! 3 Why is the LORD
bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will
be taken as plunder. Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?" 4 And they
said to each other, "We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt."
5 Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly
gathered there. 6 Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were
among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes 7 and said to the
entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is
exceedingly good. 8 If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land,
a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel
against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will
swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be
afraid of them."
1. What groups of people were listening?
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2. Was each group listening to the same thing?
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3. Were they each hearing the same?
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4. What is the difference between hearing and listening?
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5. What group was not listening?
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6. What group listened to their instructions correctly?
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7. What group did not listen to their instructions correctly?
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8. What was the outcome of listening correctly and incorrectly? ( Read
Numbers 14:20-44)
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9. Have you ever heard someone but not understood them? What was it
like?
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10. How important is it to listen and understand. Not just hear.
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Tuesday
Today’s Reading
For further study you may read, Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing p. 75.
Proverbs 19:11 (New International Version)
11 A man's wisdom gives him patience;
it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
Kind words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul. The Scripture says of
Christ that grace was poured into His lips, that He might "know how to speak a
word in season to him that is weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your speech be
always with grace," "that it may minister grace unto the hearers." {AH 435.2}
It is natural for human beings to speak sharp words. Those who yield to this
inclination open the door for Satan to enter their hearts and to make them quick
to remember the mistakes and errors of others. Their failings are dwelt upon,
their deficiencies noted, and words are spoken that cause a lack of confidence in
one who is doing his best to fulfill his duty as a laborer together with God. Often
the seeds of distrust are sown because one thinks that he ought to have been
favored but was not. {AH 441.2}
Proverbs 18:6-7 (New International Version)
6 A fool's lips bring him strife,
and his mouth invites a beating.
7 A fool's mouth is his undoing,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.
SO WHAT?
Have you noticed that we are devoting two lessons to listening? Wonder why?
Think about this: “We were given two ears but only one mouth. God knew that
listening was twice as hard as talking.” Not only is listening hard, but listening well
is even harder—maybe one of the hardest things we will ever do. But it is also one
of the most important things we can do as we mature and grow.
The same skills we use in the real world, we carry over into the spiritual world in
our walk with God. We need to learn to set aside distractions and preconceived
ideas and let God speak to us through the Bible, good books and music(and this
Bible study guide), and godly people. Those same skills will be needed when we
attempt to tell others about God. First we will need to listen to what they think.
Then we can frame what we say to meet their needs.
The skill of listening well affects everyone for eternity.
1. In “Today’s Reading” for Sabbath through Tuesday, there have been many
references to “using kind words”. Why do you think kind words are so
important to communication?
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2. There have also been references to “bridle the tongue”, “ sharp words”
and“the tongue is an unruly evil, full of poison”. Why are references to the
tongue made in such a strong terms? What is it that the tongue can do that
would make such a small part of our body so deadly (or at the very least
pain inflicting)?
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3. What can be done by each person to protect others from our tongues?
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4. Why does the bible refer to the tongue so much?
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5. Is it possible to take back something hurtful that you have said?
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6. Even if someone forgives what you have said do they forget? Explain.
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7. How does our tongue affect our listening skills?
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8. When you are angry can you just “forget about it”?
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9. Should you just “forget about it”?
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10. What are some healthy Christian ways to communicate your feelings?
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11. What makes listening a very important part of communicating your
feelings?
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Wednesday
Today’s Reading
For further study you may read, Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing p.79-80.
The following texts are taken from the NIV Bible. If you don’t have that version
of the bible you may find one online at www.RealTimeFaith.adventist.org click on
Real Time Faith links and then find Bible Gateway.
Please find each text and fill in the blanks.
1. “Take note of this: Everyone should be ____ to ____, ____ to ____ and
______ to become ______.” James 1:19 (NIV)
2. “When ______ are many, ____ is not _____, but he who ____ his _____ is
wise.” Proverbs 10:19
3. “Set a ________ over my __________, O Lord; keep ___________ over
the door of my __________.” Psalm 141:3
4. “An _________ man is trapped by his _________ talk, but a _________
man escapes __________. From the ________ of his _______ a man is
filled with __________ things. . . . . The way of a ______ shows his
annoyance at once, but a _______ man overlooks an ________. . . . . . . .
Reckless words pierce like a __________, but the _______ of the wise
brings _______. . . . . .A prudent man keeps his ___________ to himself, but
the heart of _________ blurts out folly.” Proverbs 12:13-23
Thursday
Today’s Reading
For further study you may read, Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing p. 81.
Kind words, pleasant looks, a cheerful countenance, throw a charm around the
Christian that makes his influence almost irresistible. This is a way to gain
respect, and extend the sphere of usefulness, which costs but little. It is the
religion of Christ in the heart that causes the words issuing there from to be
gentle and the demeanor condescending, even to those in the humblest walks of
life. A blustering, faultfinding, overbearing man is not a Christian; for to be a
Christian is to be Christlike. . . . {OHC 238.2}
Pleasant, kind, and well-bred Christians will have an influence for God and His
truth; it cannot be otherwise. The light borrowed from Heaven will shed its
brightening rays through them to the pathway of others. . . . The words we speak,
our daily deportment, are the fruit growing upon the tree. If the fruit is sour and
unpalatable, the rootlets of that tree are not drawing nourishment from a pure
source. If our affections are brought into harmony with our Savior, if our
characters are meek and lowly, we evidence that our life is hid with Christ in God;
and we shall leave behind us a bright track. . . . Beholders will discern that we
have been with Jesus and learned of Him. {OHC 238.4}
Proverbs 18:2 (New International Version)
2 A fool finds no pleasure in understanding
but delights in airing his own opinions.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?
Ever wonder why every conversation with your parents or siblings seems to
turn into an argument? It could be because you’re too serious! Play a game with
yourself called “What They Really Meant to Say.” Record conversations that have
gone bad over the past few days and figure out how you could have responded to
make the situation better. Think about what the other person is really trying to say
through not only their words but also their tone of voice and facial expressions.
Here’s how you play.
Example 1:
Your sister (you share a room) says to you before going to bed: “You’re such a
slob. You always throw your clothes on the floor and never pick them up. No one
will ever want to room with you.”
Playing the game, you would say: What she really meant to say was: “When
you throw your clothes on the floor after you come home from school and don’t
pick them up, I feel frustrated and like I’m the only one who wants to keep the
room neat. When my friends come over I feel embarrassed at how our room
looks.”
Example 2:
Your brother says to you: “You never pay any attention to me. You’re always
doing things with your friends.”
Playing the game, you would say: What he really meant to say was: “When you
play chess with your friends after I’ve asked you to play soccer with me, I feel left
out. I feel as if you don’t like spending time with me anymore.”
Friday
Today’s Reading
You may finish the Monday portion of the lesson today.
For further study you may read, Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing p. 82-83.
Kind words, pleasant looks, a cheerful countenance, throw a charm around the
Christian that makes his influence almost irresistible. It is the religion of Christ in
the heart that causes the words to be gentle, and the demeanor winning, even to
those in the humblest walks of life. In forgetfulness of self, in the light and peace
and happiness he is constantly bestowing on others, is seen the true dignity of
the man. This is a way to gain respect, and extend the sphere of usefulness,
which costs but little; and the one who pursues this course will not complain that
he does not receive the honor that is his due. But Bible rules must be written on
the heart; Bible rules must be carried into the everyday life.--Signs of the Times,
Nov. 11, 1886. {RC 305.5}
Proverbs 12:13-16 (New International Version)
13 An evil man is trapped by his sinful talk,
but a righteous man escapes trouble.
14 From the fruit of his lips a man is filled with good things
as surely as the work of his hands rewards him.
15 The way of a fool seems right to him,
but a wise man listens to advice.
16 A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult
HOW DOES IT WORK?
Refer back to Thursday’s lesson to refresh your memory about playing “What
They Really Meant to Say.”
Keep track of your attempts to listen “between the lines” and hear what your
friends and/or family are really saying to you.