Howzat 2016/17
#4 – A Massive Year Awaits...
Happy New Year, folks! We’ve made it past the forward-slash, and now we’re right into the 17 part
of the season. Only a handful of games to go until Finals Time (woohoo!) but there is plenty in store
between now and then. The Ladies Game, the Gala Ball, more T20 action, Basil Night, what more
could we possibly ask for?!
Let’s start with a...
T20 Update!!!
Some big wins happened in December. We completed the ECA group stage with a huge victory
against the Willows, hitting a massive 5/215 off our 20 (Shallue 56), and then keeping them to 7/97.
Those in attendance were even treated to the rare sight of Steve O’Connell taking a wicket.
Unfortunately this win was not enough for us to top the group, so our ECA campaign came to an
end.
However, our Statewide campaign continued, taking us to Como Park to meet South Yarra. Batting
first, our innings was highly eventful with wickets falling regularly but runs also coming quickly. The
team’s high-score of just 23 was shared by Dan, Mick & Sundries, as we ended up all out in the last
over for 134.
We seemed in control for much of SY’s innings, until some big hitting brought them right back into it.
They needed 47 off the last 5 overs, and then just 11 from the last 3. At this point our T20 machine
clicked into gear. Luke conceded just a leg bye from his next over and Matt Thomas then took 2/2 off
his next. This left SY needing 8 off Luke’s last over. And here’s how that went down...:
Single, Dot, Single, Single, Two, ........... DOT!
And STC wins by two Runs!
This takes us one step closer to the final at the ‘G! But first we have a date with Warrandyte. And
that date is Jan 15!!! (although the venue is now Ashburton – see below) Jump on this rollercoaster! It is proving to be an amazing ride!
On-field Action!
Our 1st XI are sitting comfortably in second position. Since our last issue, they have enjoyed a couple
of big wins. Prior to Xmas, we chased down 247 thanks to an unbeaten 110 by Steve O’Connell and
64 by Mark Shallue. Callum Dooley took the season’s first five-wicket haul in that game. Then Matt
Thomas took a five-fer of his own in the most recent game as we comfortably defended 191.
The 2nd XI are edging closer to their first win. BBS made 73* on the weekend to help set up a total of
173, but they managed to pass us 7 down.
The 3rd XI are within striking distance of the four. Prior to Xmas, they fought back from a first innings
defeat to fall 9 runs short of a rare second innings reversal. That game featured four wicket hauls to
Disco, Brendan and Harry, while Harry also made a quick fire 79 in the dramatic second innings.
The 4th XI are second (percentage behind first). They enjoyed a comfortable pre-Xmas victory,
thanks largely to Jowie (117) and Shippa (102). Our final total of 8/312 proved to be plenty.
And our Veterans are also in second place. In front of their biggest crowd to date at the Xmas party,
they put on a show restricting Donvale to 8/158 and then chasing this down for the loss of only two
wickets. Unbeatens 40s to McMahen, Urquhart & Krohn (who at one point hit consecutive sixes!)
Don’t miss their next home game on Jan 15!!!, which will feature the historic Ladies Exhibition
Match as a curtain-raiser!
That sounds like a lot of cricket on Jan 15...
It sure does... so how about a...
15th of January Cricket-Fest Summary!!!
Ok, so firstly we have the Ladies Match at Nettleton, which kicks off at 8:30am. Be there to see
history made – the perfect way to kick off the day!
Then, you have the option of either sticking around for a crucial game at Nettleton as our Veterans
seek to consolidate second spot... (This game kicks off at 1pm.)
...or, you can make your way to Ashburton Park, High Street, Ashburton to see our T20 machine
take on Warrandyte in the Quarter Finals of the Statewide Comp. (This one starts at 2pm.)
Whichever cricketing itinerary you chose, be sure to stay at, or return to, Nettleton at the close of
play. The bar will be open from around 6pm and there will be a BBQ dinner available.
In all our 50 seasons, there has never been a day quite like this one for our great club. Bring it on!
Also coming up is...
The 50th Anniversary Gala Ball!
Do you have your tickets yet? If yes, well done & continue on to the Hall of Epic!ness.  If no.....
WHAT? Get your tickets now! You’ve only got a few days... Seriously, drop everything and get your
tickets to the greatest night in the history of STC! Done? Good  Read on...
The Hall of Epic!ness
(yep we’re keeping the trumpets!)
First, we have an honourable mention. We like it when sides don’t give in, and when the 3rd XI were
bowled out for 83 chasing 134, they could easily have done just that. However they bounced back,
rolling the opposition again for 121, meaning they needed to score 173 off the remaining 17 overs to
steal the game. Unfortunately they ran out of time, falling 9 runs short of an Epic! result, but hats off
to the threes for an excellent fight back!
There has been another instance of twin tons, this time in the 4th XI. The Cougars didn’t know what
had hit them when they ran into Scott Jowett and Steve Hoy. Jowie (117) and Shippa (102) put on a
clinic, steering the fours to a total of well over 300. A truly Epic! performance!
We’ve seen some great efforts with the bat so far this season but we haven’t yet seen any big bags
of wickets. Until now. Callum Dooley and Matt Thomas have set things right by taking 5-wicket hauls
in consecutive 1st XI matches. Epic! work gentlemen!
But most Epic!? Well, for many years, the winning of raffles has been the exclusive domain of Luke
D’Astoli. In recent times, the Dooley family have found their niche with winning meat trays. But we
doubt anyone has ever recorded two raffle wins in the space of just five days. However, Val
O’Connell has now redefined what is possible, taking out 5th prize in the STC Xmas Raffle, and then
scoring a magnum of red wine in the ladies raffles during the South Yarra T20 interval just days later.
Epic! work Val!
Better Halves!
This month we caught up with STC’s original cricket widow, Tanya O’Connell!
Tanya met Steve at a Deakin Uni ball. Her Wonder Woman costume must have caught Steve’s eye,
and the inevitable introduction to STC soon followed.
Tanya was impressed at how welcoming the players and partners were. “I was quickly introduced to
the ‘ladies’ events of the races & GEOSTs which were always a good laugh”, she says.
While her favourite STC memories are many, Tanya thinks many of them would be unrepeatable in
this forum! Although, “Phantom taking a big tumble at the Christmas party many years ago is
something that has always stuck in my mind!”
In terms of Steve’s on-field performances, Tanya is spoilt for choice, but she remembers the first
premiership she saw him win in the 1st XI in 2003/04 as her favourite day.
“STC has had a huge impact on my life,” says Tanya. “From serving on the committee for 3 years to
speaking to non-STC people using words like maj & death, to watching cricket most Saturdays, many
of our closest friends are from STC.”
After nearly 15 years of supporting STC, raising two kids (with another on the way!), aaaand looking
after Steve, Tanya is very much living up to that Wonder Woman tag! Onya Tan!
We’ve had a few requests for an...
STC Dictionary!
And, let’s be honest, it’s probably quite timely, given the quality and quantity of characters from
various STC eras that will be dining together at the 50th Anniversary Gala. As one of the only sporting
clubs in the world with its own sub-dialect, we want to make sure that everyone is talking the same
language on the big night!
And so... we introduce to you the latest version of the STC Dictionary!
Part One - Deathing-related terms
Death: v. To talk to excess on a particular topic or topics.
n. Someone who deaths, or the conversation itself.
Mega: n. A person who has vast deathing abilities. (Orig. The band Megadeath)
Also Megawatti, or Megwhan.
DOTHO: n. A person who is rated a death of the highest order
Cemetery: n. A room full of people who are proven deaths.
Tag: v. When you’ve had enough of a death, and someone else is looking for a death, you can tag
them in to replace you.
Spare us: Stop deathing me.
What’s the score?: A question asked by a bystander to two people in a death; essentially “Who is
winning this death?” The score is usually provided in tennis terms. Eg. “Six-love, six-love indicates a
one-sided death, whereas “10-all in the fifth” means both people are contributing equally.
Vulny: n. A vulnerable point revealed during a death that is strategically brought up again at another
time.
MUV: n. A made-up vulny.
Cane: v. To death someone without mercy. Often spelt Cain, in honour of two life-members.
(Caining: A one-sided death)
Lull: n. A moment during a death when no-one speaks – until someone says “Lull”.
Cross-death: v. To hold a death across the line-of-sight of another death.
Side-death: n. 1. A tangent to the main deathing topic. 2. An instance of two people breaking away
from the main death to have their own death, and then rejoining.
Taunt: n. 1. A provocative statement made during a death. 2. Also a lofted shot that lands safely
between multiple fielders.
Phantom: n. The art of leaving without saying goodbye, and nobody noticing.
Wedge: n. The beer you buy if the shout is moving too slowly but you’re still thirsty.
OOTG: a. (pronounced ootiga) A high compliment. Literally, one of the greats.
Chanks: A less genuine version of “Thanks”
Macoy: v. To behave offensively. n. The act of behaving offensively.
Crackdem: n. A tantrum
Part Two -Various/Other terms will follow in the February edition of Howzat!
You heard it first in Howzat!
Last issue we predicted that very soon all grounds will have giant electronic scoreboards. The idea
spread like wildfire throughout the ECA, and when the 1’s took on Toorak Prahran just days later ...
Reader Contribution!
A keen-eyed reader spotted the below. We’ll be getting one of these signs for the rebuilt clubrooms.
Sandy, can you make sure your mate Wet knows the rules?
Sponsors Corner
Here at STC, we are extremely fortunate to have the support of some exceptional businesses.
Remember to support them whenever you get the chance! They are:
GOLD
SILVER
BRONZE
Brain Training
Congrats to Tanya O’Connell, who was the first to solve the six anagrams from last month, and is
now the proud owner of a hat comb!
“But there’s no such thing as a hat comb...” I hear you say. And you’d be right. That was the secret
anagram.
The answers were:
Father Rambo, Sir = Sam Fairbrother
Dr. Ace Brain = Brad Craine
Tries growlin’ = Stirling Rowe
Give wax rig... = Xavier Wigg
... and drive band = Brendan David
Hat comb! = Tom Bach
This month...
How about we try to work out the first line of a much-loved song? Simply solve the following clues,
and then transfer the letters as indicated by the numbers below:
Good luck!
Milestones!
A couple more milestones have ticked over, with both Fabian D’Addazio and Matt Williams joining
the 2,000 run club! Excellent work gentlemen!
And now...
The winged-monkeys have been advised not to overdo the short Steve jokes, so they have provided
an actual pic of actual Steve enjoying his actual holidays...
... riding a Shetland pony in front of some Bonsai trees.
There were also suggestions that your Howzat editor was arrested over New Years for disorderly
behaviour. The flying paparazzi have submitted the following pic as evidence...
However, I deny any involvement. I was at the carnival the whole time, as the following pic clearly
shows...
And a quick message from a non-sponsor...
Nice work, winged-monkeys. No bananas for you this month, but nice work!
In Summary...
Jack hit consecutive sixes and Steve took a wicket. Strange days indeed. Loz must be in town!
Remember Jan 15!!! Loads of cricket on Jan 15!!!! Note the change of venue to Ashburton Park
for the T20 game on Jan 15!!! This Sunday = Jan 15!!! And get your Gala tickets now!!! Finals
are not far away!!! And we’re still a chance to play on the ‘G!!!!! 2017 is going to be an absolute
rippa!!!!