The Craft of Engineering Writing:
A Workshop on Writing for Engineers
Michael Alley
College of Engineering
Pennsylvania State University
United States
http://writing.engr.psu.edu/eye_writing.pdf
The Craft of Engineering Writing
Michael Alley
College of Engineering
Pennsylvania State University
ASME‐EYE Conference
Salerno, Italy
6 November 2010
You should begin the writing process by analyzing your constraints
what do they know?
why are they reading?
audience
purpose
what expectations do they have?
what biases do they have?
occasion
format
to inform
formality
to persuade
politics
deadlines
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
In creating a document, you make hundreds
of decisions about the writing
affect / effect
its / it’s
principal / principle
Format
Style
Mechanics
This workshop focuses on style, which is the way that you express the ideas of your work
Structure
Language
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Successfully communicating your work is akin to leading the audience up your mountain of work
*
A key for successful engineering writing is effectively structuring the document
*
How much detail to give?
How to organize?
Where to begin?
[USGS, 2004]
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
A strong title orients readers to your area of work
Effects of Humidity
on the Growth of Avalanches
Effects of Humidity
on the Growth of Electron Avalanches
in Electrical Gas Discharges
A strong title also separates your work from everyone else's work
Effects of Rhodamine‐B
on the Electrodeposition
of Lead on Copper
Studies on the Electrodeposition
of Lead on Copper
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
4
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
A common mistake in writing titles is to stack descriptors, making the title needlessly complex
10 MWe Solar Thermal Central Receiver Barstow Power Pilot Plant Conversion Study
Solar One Power Plant Proposal to Select a New Heat Transfer Fluid for the Conversion Study
Solar One Power Plant
One common way to begin a document is to restate that document’s title
Hyperspectral Imaging for Military Applications
Torbjørn Skauli
Hyperspectral imaging, or imaging spectroscopy, is a form of optical imaging that preserves information present in the spectrum of light….
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Another way to begin, often used with unfamiliar topics, is to start with background information
Design of Steam Generators for
the Downhole Portion of Oil Wells
Sandia National Laboratories
More than half of the oil in a reservoir is too viscous to pump out with conventional methods. By heating these oils with steam and decreasing their viscosity, we can recover billions of gallons. For oils below 800 meters, though, the steam produced on the surface loses too much energy in transit to heat the oil. We are developing a downhole steam generator to apply hot steam directly.
A strong structure begins with what is familiar and proceeds methodically to what is new
In most earthquakes, the earth's crust cracks like porcelain. Stress builds until a fracture forms at a depth of a few kilometers and slip relieves the stress. Some earthquakes, however, take place where the earth cannot fracture.
These earthquakes, called deep earthquakes, occur hundreds of kilometers down in the earth's mantle. At this depth, high pressure is thought to prevent the rock from cracking, even though stresses may be high enough to deform the rock like putty. (Green, 1994)
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
As important as crafting the appropriate style is efficiently getting words onto paper
Thinking and Calculating
As important as crafting the appropriate style is efficiently getting words onto paper
Thinking and Calculating
Drafting
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
To balance precision with clarity, you should filter out needless complexity
facilitate
utilization
operationability
help
use
can operate
Being Clear
Being Precise
Needlessly complex sentences misdirect readers The goal of the work was to confirm the nature of electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields at high pressures and electrode gaps which approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the determination of the processes which set the criterion for breakdown in the above‐mentioned gas in uniform and non‐uniform fields of engineering significance.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gap distances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied in uniform fields.
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
The more muddled the original is, the more revisions are needed to streamline it
This study examines the electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields. For these experiments, the electrode gap distances were typical (1 mm), while the pressures were relatively high (760 torr).
At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gap distances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied in uniform fields.
An ambiguity is a group of words that can have more than one meaning
The proposed schedule is discussed below for the next four years.
The proposed schedule for the next four years is discussed below.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
9
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Word order often causes ambiguities,
especially with adverbs
Only I tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday.
I only tested the Labrador for rabies yesterday.
I tested the only Labrador for rabies yesterday.
I tested the Labrador only for rabies yesterday.
I tested the Labrador for rabies only yesterday.
Word choice can also cause ambiguities
We wanted to reduce the vibration of the fan at the exhaust as
the exhaust the fan at the exhaust as the exhaust ducting was cracking.
We wanted to reduce the vibration of the fan at the exhaust because the exhaust ducting was cracking.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
10
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Words have denotations and connotations Negative
cheap
Neutral
inexpensive
Positive
cost‐effective
use
obvious
clear
simple
adequate
sufficient
Also causing ambiguities are pronouns, particularly the pronouns it and this
If you receive an e‐mail titled "Win A Holiday," do not open it. It will erase everything on your hard drive. Forward this out to It will erase everything on your hard drive. Forward this
out to as many people as you can. This is a very malicious virus and not many people know about it.
If you receive an e‐mail titled "Win A Holiday," do not open it. The e‐mail will erase everything on your hard drive. Forward this warning out to as many people as you can. The “Win a Holiday”
virus is malicious and not many people know about it.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Not having commas after introductory phrases or clauses often causes ambiguities
As light hydrocarbons evaporate the oil vapor pressure falls.
As light hydrocarbons evaporate, the oil vapor pressure falls.
When commas are missing within lists, ambiguities often occur
This study examined neat methanol and ethanol and methanol and ethanol with 10% water.
This study examined four fuels: neat methanol, neat ethanol, methanol with 10% water, and ethanol with 10% water.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
12
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Another critical error of language is placing the audience in a hypnotic state
Weak Verbs
Needless Words
Stagnant Sentence Rhythms
Weak verbs hide the energy of your work
A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
13
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Needlessly passive verbs slow your writing
Active Voice:
Subject performs the action.
Passive Voice:
Subject is acted upon.
Active
Needless Passive
1. Allow inanimate objects to act
2. Use the first person judiciously
Problems can arise using the active voice with inanimate objects Safe
The oscilloscope displayed
the voltage.
The oscilloscope measured
the voltage.
+
V
‐
Dangerous
The oscilloscope made assumptions
about the voltage.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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V=
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
In a paper or report, several situations arise in which you can allow inanimate objects to act
This paper presents…
The set‐up included…
Figure 3 shows…
Experiments yielded the results…
Results indicate that…
Judicious use of the first person is usually allowed as long as the emphasis remains on the work
Cal‐Tech
Linus Pauling
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Exercise: Strengthen the verbs in the paragraph
A new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from diesel exhaust engines is presented. Flow tube experiments to test this process are discussed. The percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions is revealed.
This paper presents a new process for eliminating This paper presents a new process for eliminating nitrogen oxides from the exhaust of diesel engines. nitrogen oxides from the exhaust of diesel engines. To nitrogen oxides from the exhaust of diesel engines. We test this process, we performed experiments in flow performed experiments in flow tubes to test this tubes. These experiments revealed a 99 percent tubes. process. decrease in nitrogen oxide emissions.
Tightening your writing can make it more energetic
Vibration measurements made in the course of
the Titan flight test program were complicated by
the presence of intense high‐frequency excitation of the vehicle shell structure during the re‐entry phase of the flight.
Vibration measurements made in the Titan flight were complicated by intense high‐frequency excitation of the vehicle shell during re‐entry.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
16
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
When sentence openers do not vary, even the most interesting subjects seem dull
Z
Z
Z
Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. A cloud of hot rock and gas surged northward from its collapsing slope. The cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. The effects of Mount St. Helens were well documented with geophysical instruments. The origin of the eruption is not well understood. Volcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Some scientists believe the steam comes from groundwater heated by the magma. Other scientists believe the steam comes from water originally dissolved in the magma. We need to understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions. We need to determine how much water the magma contains.
Varying sentence openers allows for more kinds of transitions between sentences
Sentence 1
Sentence 2
Sentence 3
What (or Who)?
When?
Sentence Where?
Why?
How?
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Vary sentence openers to vary rhythm
subject–verb
Mount St. Helens erupted on May…
prepositional phrase
In minutes, the mountain emitted…
adverb
However, debate has arisen...
dependent clause
Although precursors of the eruption had been studied for months, the time and power…
More sophisticated openers exist
infinitive phrase
To understand the eruption, we have to determine….
participial phrase
Its slope collapsing, the mountain emitted a cloud of hot rock and….
gerundial phrase
Calculating the amount of ash
will require many assumptions.
dependent clause
as subject
What actually occurred was a sudden blast that….
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
More sophisticated openers exist
verb–subject
Is it groundwater heated by magma…
double clauses
The greater the tumescence, the more likely an eruption.
Varying sentence openers energizes the writing and allows connections
Mount St. Helens erupted on May 18, 1980. Its slope collapsing,
the mountain emitted a cloud of hot rock and gas. In minutes, the cloud devastated more than 500 square kilometers of forests and lakes. Although the effects of the eruption were well documented, the origin is not well understood. Volcanic explosions are driven by a rapid expansion of steam. Recently, debate has arisen over the source for the steam. Is it groundwater heated by magma or water originally dissolved in the magma itself? To understand the source of steam in volcanic eruptions, scientists need to determine how much water the magma contains.
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
To make connections, use transitional words and phrases early in sentences
Continuation
Pause
Reversal
Also,
Likewise,
However,
Moreover,
For instance,
On the other hand, First…Second...
For example,
Conversely,
For that reason,
In other words,
Granted,
Therefore,
In effect,
Otherwise,
This shows...
This means...
Examples can anchor generalities
By the late Middle Ages, cities throughout Europe were building Gothic cathedrals. The only way, however, that architects could test a new design was to build the cathedral, a process that took more than forty years. Unfortunately, many cathedrals caved in during or after construction. What took forty years to test in the Middle Ages could have been done in minutes on a supercomputer.
William Wilson
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
20
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
For clarity, an illustration should be introduced by name, explained, and properly placed
..., as shown in Figure 4.
Figure 4. Title of figure [Raven, 2000]. Some formats allow you extra sentences to explain unusual details. As important as crafting the appropriate style is efficiently getting words onto paper
Thinking and Calculating
Drafting
Revising
home.tiscalinet.ch
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
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ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
As important as crafting the appropriate style is efficiently getting words onto paper
Thinking and Calculating
Drafting
Revising
Finishing
In summary, success in scientific writing arises from crafting a style to serve the situation
Structure
Language
Michael Alley, Pennsylvania State University
22
ASME/EYE Conference, Salerno, Italy
Writing Guidelines for Engineering and Science Students
Student Resources:
Writing Exercises
Slides: Scientific Writing
Slides: Scientific Presentations
Instructor Resources:
Slides: Technical Writing
Slides: Technical Presentations
Instructor Handouts
Teaching Slide Design
Editor:
Leonhard Center, Penn State
Contributors:
Virginia Tech
University of Illinois
University of Texas
Georgia Tech
Featured Page:
These guidelines for engineering writing and scientific writing are designed to help
students communicate their technical work. To that end, these guidelines contain
advice, models, and exercises for common writing and speaking assignments in
engineering and science.
Introduction
Assessing the Audience
Selecting the Format
Crafting the Style
Presentations
Design of Presentation Slides
Design of Scientific Posters
Correspondence
Memo Format: html or pdf
Sample Memo: html, or pdf
Letter Format: html, or pdf
Sample Letter: html, or pdf
E-mail Format
Résumés
Formal Reports
Laboratory Reports
Design Reports
Progress Reports
Theses and Dissertations
Rethinking the Design of Presentation Slides:
Model Slide from USGS
Other Documents
Proposals
Instructions
Journal Articles
Conclusion
Appendix A: Sample Format
Appendix B: Documenting Sources
Glossary
References
Acknowledgments
Originated: 09/1997
Last updated: 03/2008
http://writing.engr.psu.edu/
All materials at this web site are the intellectual property of the editors and authors. You
are welcome to make hypertext links to any of the pages at this site as long as you give
proper credit. Please direct comments, suggestions, or questions to the lead editor:
Michael Alley, Penn State.
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