Self-aware And Stubborn
Part I.
Write it down
All good and bad
Take no side
Then you'll understand
What are you feeling?
What life you're leading?
What has become of you?
Write it down
All the loss and gain
In the end
They come out the same
What are you feeling?
What life you're leading?
What are you feeling?
What life you're leading?
What has become of you?
Part II.
Now, once your mind is set
It's done and that's all you can get
A switch, deep inside your head
Is on, and will be to the end
Sometimes you remind me
A car without brakes
You still can steer
All you can do is hope
You've got what it takes
Admit no fear
Unable to change the direction that you chose
Unable to open the doors that once got closed
Now, even if you are wrong
It's done and you'll know before long
Now, even if they're right
It's done, you cannot change your mind
Sometimes you remind me
A car without brakes
You still can steer
All you can do is hope
You've got what it takes
Admit no fear
Unable to change the direction that you chose
Unable to open the doors that once got closed
I see you're struggling to remain in control
This is the hour you will win or you will fall
You would like to break inside your head
Rip away the bits that keep your lock-down
Beating fists against the wall you said
But in fact this time the wall is your own
Fury
Just one drop
All it takes
And the cup will overflow
Muted laugh
Awkward glance
And you feel so hollow
Your blood boils
No defence
Against what will follow
When the fury takes you
Like raging bull
Red is all you see
When the fury takes you
No second thoughts
Anger-clarity
Friend or foe
No difference
Rare equality
Positive
Emotions
Liability
You're feeling hurt and abused
You are the judge, we are accused
No time for regret
Later it will come
You are here to punish
Everyone
When the fury takes you
Like raging bull
Red is all you see
When the fury takes you
No second thoughts
Anger-clarity
Compassion
Something bothers you
You're restless in your sleep
While I'm on my guard
I volunteered to keep
Breathe
Calm and deep
Go back to sleep
When you wake up in the morning
You will see that I am still here
Clutching at the sheets
Fighting demons unseen
Powerless to help
The battlefield your dream
Breathe
Calm and deep
Go back to sleep
When you wake up in the morning
You will see that I am still here
Perhaps you've done something wrong,
I'll understand
Through your darkest hour we'll get hand in hand
Breathe
Calm and deep
Go back to sleep
When you wake up in the morning
You will see that I am still here
Thousand nights have passed
And thousands are to come
Watching over you
Because you are the one
Resigned
I can still remember days
I could look at you
And won't feel ashamed
Those days are certainly gone
I am a mess
Waiting for what you'd say
I won't reject pity if that
Is all that you have
For my pleading voice
Even if you'd reject to help
I will understand
I don't have a choice
Out of time, out of life
Please help me to survive
I have tried, I have lost
Please help me share the cost
I can't get out of this hole
Not by myself
That time has gone
I fully depend on you
On what you'd say
Or I am done
And I do not deny that this is my fault
Lost all the fights I shouldn't have fought
Talking to you takes all that is left
From worthless pride I hope I still have
Out of time, out of life
Please help me to survive
I have tried, I have lost
Please help me share the cost
In the ruthless onslaught of our days
I have lost control of my own case
My fate ground to dust of unpaid dues
Running down a path I'd never choose
It is all too late and I'm so worn
I have ignored wind, I'll reap the storm
Eager
All I wanted is to be useful
Just to prove my worth
It is what is haunting me
Since my day of birth
Look at me
I can do whatever I choose
I just lack the means
Give me a sense of direction
And I'll bring you a dream
I am the best shot you have around
I am the best shot
Look at me
Look what I want to be
Look and see
I am the one you need
Please I just need you to see
It's me, I am the one you need
Look at me
Look what I want to be
Look and see
I am the one you need
Please I just need you to see
It's me, I am the one you need
Identity Crisis
What is this place I have not seen before?
Lived here for years that now I can't recall
Watching my face, its mirror ghost is blurred
Speaking aloud, not getting single word
Eyes open wide still cannot see
Meaning of anything eludes me
My heart is torn but does not bleed
A hungry mouth I fail to feed
I thought I knew that something needs get done
Related clarity seems to have gone
What did I want that got me where I am?
Where are the clues that I could understand?
Eyes open wide still cannot see
Meaning of anything eludes me
My heart is torn but does not bleed
A hungry mouth I fail to feed
So I need a sign
A trigger to shake me wake
Something to go by
Nothing but life's at stake
Memories lie, make not much sense to me
I cannot grasp what I have once believed
Where do I stand, should I be moving on
I fear to move, but here I don't belong
I need a sign
Fragment of something real
Something to go by
Before I melt and disappear
So I need a sign
Some trigger to shake me wake
Something to go by
Nothing but life's at stake
I need a sign
I need to wake
I realise
It is my life at stake
Tragedian
What are you feeling?
What life you're leading?
What has become of you?
Let me be
Forget you knew someone like me
Don't you see?
Not interested in being here
You believe
This a great opportunity
Disagree
All I see, rot and vanity
My days are like poisoned lullaby
All I want is sleep
Burning time, more dead than when I die
Sleep is my retreat from this life
Not too grateful for
From this world
Most times too painful to behold
Been like you
Thought there was reason for this all
So untrue
Flying is just delaying fall
Go away
Go find your own hole to dig in
And just wait
We'll hear it soon, the end begins
So I wait for the end to start
Now it must be near
Me and life, never further apart,
Life, sole source of fear
My days like poisoned lullaby
All I want is sleep
Burning time, more dead than when I die
Sleep is my retreat from this life
Not too grateful for
From this world
Most times too painful to behold
Swallow your tears, silence your pleas
You cannot even begin to guess how this feels
Pathetic
Tired, you seem tired
Selling smiles
Just worthless charms
Wasted, worn and wasted
Losing ground
On your way down
Here is someone once great and bright
Pulling at old strings that are loose
Once in the centre of spotlights
To let go you have refused
Your falling star
Expended firefly
You had your time
Frightened
Lost and frightened
In disbelief
Without relief
Shameful
Torn and shameful
Proudful husk
Covered in dust
Here is someone once great and bright
Who missed the cue to leave the stage
Once in the centre of spotlights
All is left is just toothless rage
Your falling star
Expended firefly
You had your time
It must be hard
To forgo all the fame
Breaking one's heart
Admitting end of game
Stand down from grace
Why would you quit
When your throne shakes
You hold to it
Sing the same song
Pretend it's new
They are all wrong
You will pull through
It must be hard
To forgo all the fame
Breaking one's heart
Admitting end of game
You chose to last
You took the risk and failed
Milking the past
Becoming what you'd hate
Escapist
It starts like many nights before
When the day passed away
I am out to settle the score
Just so I can breathe again
I need to shed my daily skin
Just so I can be reborn
To let the king rise from within
And have his rule restored
Are you with me?
Need someone to see
This is real me
This is when I'm free
I hit the streets like storm, like flood
Feels like I own the town
High octane moonshine in my blood
At least till the dawn
Don't you tell me
Don't you ruin this hour
Don't you tell me
Your words are too sour
I'm not leaving
This time I will stay
I'm not leaving
With the night I'll fade
Back during the day
I'm nothing, nothing
One in the crowd
We're all the same
Brawling, crawling
But why?
Night has no restraints
A hint of freedom
Feels close
Solitary crusade
I'll gladly die for
Because
Back during the day
I'm nothing, nothing
One in the crowd
We're the same
Brawling, crawling
In vain
Are you with me?
Need someone to see
This is real me
I think I am free
Are you with me?
Don't you turn away
This may be a lie
Still I mean to stay
Regret
Do you think it was right?
I still think it was worth the fight
Did you think it was a game?
If I did not would I feel ashamed?
Would you act just the same?
I would do the same again
Did you expect all the pain?
Do you try to place the blame?
Engraved in skin of soul
These scars won't get old
Stitches never hold
Sieving through the past
Contemplating what you've done
Refuse to realise
Battles lost cannot be won
...within your mind
You will still try, and fail
Voices in your head
Keep arguing long lost case
Regret to regret
Strain carves age into your face
Engraved in skin of soul
These scars won't get old
Stitches never hold
The more you want to scratch
The more it seems to itch
Too close to reach
Sieving through the past
Contemplating what you've done
Refuse to realise
Battles lost cannot be won
…within your mind
You will still try, and fail
Voices in your head
Keep arguing long lost case
Regret to regret
Strain carves age into your face
Could you have done something more?
We've been through this many times before
Are you proud of what you've done?
I'm not proud of the outcome
Is there excuse you can give?
It would haunt me as long as I live
Did you consider all odds?
We are human, we are no gods