EQ Wk 10 – Integrity
Illustration: Four high school boys were late to their morning classes one-day. They entered the
classroom and solemnly told their teacher they were detained due to a flat tire. The sympathetic
teacher smiled and told
them it was too bad they were late because they had missed a test that morning. But she was willing
to let them make it up. She gave them each a piece of paper and a pencil and sent them to four
corners of the room. Then she told them they would pass if they could answer just one question:
Which tire was flat? Test of character and integrity
Continue EQ… equalizing our life. Character… Integrity
Stories of lack of integrity abound:
- great athlete, great person... find out they have a whole another life going on. Shocked again.
- politician who says one thing to get elected and then does something completely different.
- Christian leader, pastor, minister, evangelist, who said one thing and then comes out that he had a
whole double life going on.
- close friend, someone you thought you knew and loved, they represented one thing and
live completely different.
- spouse betrays commitments made because the price got too high, or the relationship was no longer
beneficial to them.
Tragic that we live in a world that is more shocked by integrity, then by the lack of integrity. More
shocked by someone who does the right thing then someone who doesn't do the right thing.
Traditional definitions of integrity include ideas about ethics and morals. Other dictionary definitions
carry associations of character, wholeness and effectiveness.
Integrity - WHEN YOUR BEHAVIOR MATCHES YOUR BELIEFS. Integrated life style. Integer. Whole
Private life matches public life. What you do when no one else is looking. Different then reputation =
who people think you are; integrity is who you really are.
Dr. Henry Cloud’s definition: COURAGE TO MEET THE DEMANDS OF REALITY.
"Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, dealmaking abilities and opportunities will succeed." - Dr. Henry Cloud
The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their
duplicity . Proverbs 11:3 So much of society and families today are being destroyed by the duplicity
of leaders and individuals who say one thing and do something else.
A PICTURE OF THE LIFE OF INTEGRITY … Psalm 15… David speaking:
LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
Who may live on your holy mountain?
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The one whose walk is blameless,
who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from their heart;
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whose tongue utters no slander,
who does no wrong to a neighbor,
and casts no slur on others;
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who despises a vile person
but honors those who fear the LORD;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
and does not change their mind;
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who lends money to the poor without interest;
who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
Whoever does these things
will never be shaken.
BENEFITS OF INTEGRITY
 YOU CAN WALK CLOSELY WITH GOD. You can dwell in the sanctuary with God. Intimacy with
God.
Example: we raise our kids with family values; kids decide to reject those; I will still love them but
it will block intimacy and fellowship with them. Same is true with God when we live according to
His values and ways laid out in scripture.
 YOU HAVE CONSTANT PEACE IN YOUR HEART. Important to me personally. Sleep at night. Dont
have to wonder if someone will find out, what if my wife knows, what if my boss finds out, will I be
exposed. No fear of being caught, found out, discovered.
 YOU GAIN TRUST, RESPECT, AND INFLUENCE. Want great children, elader of your family,
influence in the business community. People will follow you. Honor you. listen to you. Listen to
your wisdom and advice. Surveys:
- 2003 Survey of what distinguishes business leaders from each other:
#1 A reputation for integrity and honesty,
#2 Knowledgeable and experienced,
#3 Energetic and hard working
- 2007 Survey of 1,400 CFOs, most important quality for a business leader:
#1 Integrity,
#2 Experience,
#3 Communication Skills
- Fast Company 2010 Survey, most important leadership quality for a successful CEO:
#1 Creativity,
#2 Integrity,
#3 Global Thinking
Opposite of integrity: hypocrite. “a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or
feelings” Greek word means "an actor." Picture of greek plays, person running around holding a
mask pretending to be someone, then pull out another mask pretending to be someone else.
Jesus was always more harsh with hypocrites then He was with prostitutes, tax collectors and those
in other types of sin:
Matthew 23:25-28
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“Woe to you, [you are in so much trouble, you have no idea how bad this is going to be] teachers of
the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! [you play actors, you that lack integrity, you who put on a
good game face] You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and selfindulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also
will be clean. [integrity goes from the inside out]…28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to
people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy [you have your masks on] and
wickedness.
Hypocrisy is a barrier for not yet Christians and those outside the church.
WHAT’S YOUR INTEGRITY WORTH? Not just your initial reaction "a lot" or "everything"
What do your actions say your integrity is worth?
- you lie on a resume; your integrity was worth that job you traded it for.
- Something you stole from your work. A ream of paper. Falsified expense report.
- Finances are tight... you buy an outfit and hide it for two months. Then when you put it on and
your husband asks if it’s a new outfit, you say "No! I’ve had it for two months." Some of you
are going... that's what I do. Others... that's a good idea! No, it's not a good idea.
- You're in business and you occasionally overbill. or you cut some corners.
- Friends, you exaggerate a story just to be liked.
- Spouse, you tell her you honor her but you look at pornographic images.
- You're a student, need to get the grades or pass an exam, so you cheat on a test or project.
.... that is what your integrity is worth to you. Not just what you say, but what does your life
say it is worth.
VIDEO: Courageous - Job Is Yours. Javier finally gets a good job. Works hard and gets recognized by
management. Invite him into the office and offer him a promotion if he’ll work with them to “make
some numbers” work even though they don’t represent reality. Tell him to think about it. Next day
and they no follow-up with him…
If you don't have integrity, don't kid yourself! You're not going to have a good marriage, you're not
going to be a good friend, you're not going to be a good leader or good in business. You may
experience success for a season, but those without integrity always get found out and exposed.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU DON'T HAVE INTEGRITY? Happens all the time. We are
constantly being tested, our integrity challenged, faced with pressure and opportunities to cheat, lie,
steal, compromise. Realize it’s not an all or nothing… we all have some integrity at times. While it is
good to look back at our life and realize where you have lacked integrity, the important thing is to
recognize that change and growth are possible! But it's not going to happen by just trying to do
better...
SECOND LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS - in a CLOSED SYSTEM, because of entropy, the descent into
chaos happens over time.
Examples:
- ice cubes melting, sun slowly exhausting its resources
- See this in social systems where they move from cooperation and advancement to conflict and
chaos.
- Closed economic systems where resources are transacted in an exchange of resources, goods and
services lead to scarcity.
In an OPEN SYSTEM, where outside stimuli, fuel and influence occurs the entity has the potential to
become better organized and move to a higher order because of its interconnection.
ARE YOU A CLOSED SYSTEM? Are stimuli, information, influences from the outside able to get in?
Willpower and commitment are not enough to stimulate change and growth. Life change has a
better likelihood of occurring and lasting if it comes from an outside source. You've gone through the
cycle of trying to get better, trying to do more, trying to be right, you've bought the lie that you must
be a self made person, no one is watching out for you, can only trust yourself. You realize you're
living life as a closed system. Time to open up.
1. GET TO KNOW JESUS. Not from a distant, I want to study about him. Get to know him personally.
You can never live a life of integrity on your own. Life is too hard, too much pressure, to much we
face, outside our control, too overwhelming. When you know Christ personally, God's spirit comes to
live with you and you now have access to God directly. Counselor, teacher... wisdom in how to
respond rightly and the power to make the difficult choice of integrity when everything and everyone
around you is telling you to compromise. Make that decision right now. Check on your
Communication Card.
2. OPEN UP YOUR LIFE TO OTHERS. Stop living your life in isolation, hidden, closed off. Find a
mentor. Someone to talk to. Someone you can be real with. Someone to disciple you. Join a Life
Group. Talk about the differences between who others think you are and who God knows you are.
Changes you’re willing to make to align your behavior with your beliefs.
3. ALLOW GOD TO MINISTER TO YOU. COURAGE “courage to meet the demands of reality”
------------------------Job, his integrity was wroth everything to me. When everything else had been taken from him, after
his friends were criticizing him for doing the right thing, for continuing to trust God, criticizing him
that he must be doing something wrong; Trying to get him to compromise, give up on his beliefs and
find an easy way out, Job says this:
… I will not deny my integrity.
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I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it;
my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live. Job 27:5-6
Example: Telling the truth. At the basic level means no lying. Sometimes that is challenging. We lie
because we don't want to hurt people's feelings. We lie about matters of fact such as on taxes or
when ditching an appointment because it "won't hurt anybody." We know that there are situatiosn
where lying might be appropriate, such as saying there's no one else in the office when a gunman
comes in. People who are worried about lying in that situation probably have little need to be
concerned about lying. Remember "the consequences of deceit are usually greater than the ones of
truth." Usually it's the deceit, not the supposed crime, that's unforgivable. People of integrity "give a
representation of reality to others as best they understand it."
1) WHAT IS THE WAKE OF YOUR LIFE?
Illustration: While most of us are aware of our strengths and weaknesses, we often have blind
spots that can undercut us. Looking at the wake of our lives can help us see ourselves from a
new perspective and give us the insight we need to grow. Just as a boat leaves a wake as it
plows through the water, so people leave a wake as they move through life. There are two
sides to every wake: the task side and the relationship side. In other words, what got
accomplished and how were people dealt with or related to. Some people are able to get a lot
done... but none of their co-workers wants to work with them again. Likewise, there are people
everyone seems to love, but they never get anything done.
- Task based success: profits made, brand, strength, development of news ways to doing
things, productivity.
- Task based failures: disorganization, lack of focus, inactivity, quantitative lose, dishonest,
cheat, cut corners, lied on reports
- Relationship success: are people more trusting, fulfilled, encouraged, better off
- Relationship failures: are people wounded, bleeding, pushed away, destructive morale, hurt,
broken, feel used, cast aside