1
THE CHAOS IS
KILLING ME
It's time for the annual CHAOS (Canadian Honorary Association of Santas) Meeting and it’s
also time for Nicholas O. Time to hang up his Santa Sack….or is it? Is he ready in the Nick O.
Time? or is it someone else who thinks he’s ready? Join us for the wacky Santa Convention
and help us solve this holiday mystery.
Costume Suggestions:
Antlers.
Santa Suits, Elf / Santa’s Helper Suits, Mrs. Claus Suits, Reindeer
COPYRIGHT PROTECTED BY MURDER FOR HIRE 2006
LAST REVISION November 14, 2015
Sound cues updated November 14, 2015
2
Characters
Holly Day - Holly is the secretary/treasurer for CHAOS and also doubles
as an elf. She won’t go along with Nick’s plan to use the AcmeToy
Company as the CHAOS supplier. She may have leaked some bad
information to the newspaper, accidentally about the candidates for the
new Chairman of CHAOS. She dislikes Mary because ‘no-one can ever
take her mother’s place’. Holly is the annoying spoiled brat who always
wants her own way. She owns 40% of the shares of CHAOS
Victim
Nicholas (Nick) O. (Oliver) Time - Nick is Chairman of CHAOS and
is ready to finally give up his title to a successor or is he? He is
Holly’s very protective step-father. He promised Holly’s mother on
her death bed that he would watch out for Holly. Nick is very cheap
and he has been in talks with the Acme Toy Company to be the
exclusive supplier of toys to CHAOS.
Motive: He may be angry over the finances. Holly really holds the
money (literally) for CHAOS since her grandfather founded the
organization. The only reason Nick became Chairman of CHAOS was because he
was married to Holly’s mother. If Holly is out of the way, Holly’s shares go to Nick He
owns 25% of his own.
Brighton Early - Hopeful candidate to be the successor for the head
of CHAOS. He’s very competitive and always tries to one-up everyone
he speaks to. If you’ve done, said or tried anything Brighton is certain to have done it more often, said it already and tried
it twice! He enjoys his drink and was arrested recently for being drunk
in public. This will tarnish his reputation as a Santa Claus and
certainly will preclude him from being a candidate for Chairman of
CHAOS. So far, he’s been able to keep this information quiet, but for
how long?
Motive: Angry that Holly plans to ruin his reputation by leaking the story to the
newspaper. Now he’ll never be the Chairman of CHAOS.
3
Mary Krissmas - Hopeful Mrs. Claus. She carries a torch for Nick
and also owns 25% of the shares in CHAOS. She runs the local
charity, PANIC (People Assisting Needy Infants and Children) for
which many of the Santas work and also holds the workshops at
the CHAOS Convention. She’s a real drama queen and a prude.
Motive: She’s in love with Nick and has to get Holly out of the way
if she can ever be with Nick. Then together they would own
control of CHAOS,.
Jean Poole (or Jin P00l) - is a Reindeer Seminal
Accumulation and Infusion Specialist. Jean is also
secretly a member of the RRA (Reindeer Rights
Association). He/She believes that CHAOS has
enslaved the reindeer population and vows to have
them set free. He/She may be a vegetarian, but if not
she will be very picky about her food, etc.. She is
annoyingly sympathetic to everything and everyone.
She is present at CHAOS as the reindeer semen
supplier but really she’s there as a rep from the RRA
to investigate the treatment of the reindeer.
Motive:
He/She knows that Holly is the reason that the reindeer will never be freed
and can’t let Holly stand in the way of freeing the reindeer.
4
PLAY CUE 1
FADE OUT (1A) ON DIRECTOR’S CUE
PLAY CUE 2 (CELL PHONE WARNING) (IF necessary)
Scene 1 – COCKTAILS (before meal)
NICK:
Welcome everyone to our 2011 Canadian Honorary Association Of
Santas Convention, or CHAOS for short. CHAOS is dedicated to training
Santas and enhancing their portrayal of Santa Claus for the benefit of
your family and community throughout the year.
PLAY CUE 3 Whether Santa visits your home, your church, your charitable
organization, or is employed at your local department store, CHAOS is
there to ensure your time with Santa will be an occasion that will enrich
your lives forever.
What does it take to be a member of CHAOS? We are a very select
group of gentlemen, who have all, at one time or another, sported a
Santa Claus Suit; whether it was for his own children or grandchildren on
Christmas Day, or whether as a full or part time Santa, wearing the red
suit for the public. And of course we have our auxiliary members made
up of Mrs. Clauses as well as the youth who are all aspiring Santas,
currently in training through their work as elves.
Now, believe it or not there are some children out there in the world who
can’t afford cell phones. Yes, I know it is hard to believe. So as we do
each year we’ll be taking a collection for them. So if you wish to donate
your cell phone to the needy children, just have it in your hand or on the
table in front of you and we’ll collect it from you.
5
Our Board of Directors are all present and will be assisting with making
decisions on several issues this evening. All Board members present,
say “Aye”.
(Board members, including Brighton, all say “Aye”)
NICK:
We’ll hear from Holly Day, our secretary treasurer with respect to the
minutes from last year’s convention as well as the agenda for tonight’s
meeting and she will also give us a financial report. Holly…
HOLLY:
Thank you Father Nick. Let’s begin with last year’s minutes… we
discussed which department stores will employ Santas for the upcoming
season and which Santa will be assigned to each store.
We also discussed possible “green” initiatives for Santas across the
country, however there were no suggestions made that were voted to go
ahead.
There was also some suggestion that Santa should stop coming down
the chimney because it’s unsanitary ….because the soot gets in his
lungs.
And lastly, we discussed that Father Nick is getting on in years and may
be ready to pass on his Santa Sack to a successor to his chair.
(Nick coughs and chokes, suggesting that he may not be ready to pack it in yet)
HOLLY:
Several of you have submitted your applications for the position and
we’ve been considering them over the past year. We’ll have the board
vote in a confidential poll later in the evening.
6
BRIGHTON: Excuse me….Here is my application Holly.
HOLLY:
Brighton, these applications were all supposed to be submitted months
ago.
BRIGHTON: I know, but well…you know how it is?
HOLLY:
No, I don’t think I do. How is it? (Sarcastically)
BRIGHTON: (looking at his drink) It’s pretty good, thanks for asking. (laughing at his
own joke) Ahem, But seriously, I had to make sure that my application
would make it to the top of the pile. (he hands his application to Holly)
HOLLY:
(looking disgusted with Brighton, but taking his application and moving
on) As for the financial report. Well to be honest, things have gotten a
little out of control over this past year. The number of needy children is
steadily increasing, as Mary can attest to. Some of the parents of those
children have asked for loans for the season, and as you know it’s better
to give than to lend and the final cost is about the same.
Also the price of good quality toys is on the rise and so we are
investigating some alternative toy suppliers. If there are any
representatives here who have not submitted their quotes, then please
do so immediately.
7
AUD (ACME Toy representative): Here is my quote Ms. Day. I’m sure you will find
that my quote is by far the lowest quote. After all, we all must help bail
out poor Saint Nickel-less. (handing the quote to Holly)
HOLLY:
(Holly takes the quote) Well thank you Mr. ? um, um Acme, is it? Please,
take a seat. CHAOS does not make it a habit to employ the cheapest
manufacturers. We pride ourselves in supplying good quality toys to the
needy children. Just because they are poor doesn’t mean they don’t
deserve the very best. And, I’m sorry, but your toys are just junk.
JEAN:
Holly is right. The poor children go without so much, it would be so sad
to see them get cheap toys at Christmas only to see them broken a few
days later.
NICK:
If I may interject for just a moment. I do agree with you Ms. Um?
JEAN:
Poole, Jean Pool. I work for Morningwood Semen. I’m the Reindeer
Seminal Accumulation and Infusion Specialist.
NICK:
Oh yes of course, the semen supplier for the reindeer. Anyway, Holly,
as I was saying, the financial report is quite upsetting. I think that we
should go with the lowest quote this year. CHAOS cannot stay afloat if
we continue at the rate we have been.
8
HOLLY:
But Nick, you know that my when my Grandfather founded CHAOS he
vowed to always treat the needy children as they were his own. And
when you married my mother, I remember you promising her that you
would uphold that vow if you were appointed Chairman.
NICK:
Well that’s true Holly, and I meant it…. at the time. But things change.
We just cannot continue the way we are. CHAOS won’t survive.
(Holly begins to look sad)
HOLLY:
All this talk about Mother. I sure miss her. PLAY CUE 4 The only
comfort I still have are the reindeer. She and I always enjoyed taking
care of them together.
(Nick starts to feel obviously guilty for upsetting Holly)
JEAN:
Speaking of the reindeer Holly, I was wondering if any decisions had
been made about changing over to electric sleighs?
HOLLY:
No the decision hasn’t been made yet. We’ll be voting on it this evening.
FADE (4A) IF NECESSARY
JEAN:
I see, well perhaps I could spend some time with the reindeer some time
this evening?
HOLLY:
I suppose, but what for? (suspiciously)
9
PLAY CUE 5
JEAN:
I just need to do some testing in preparation for the next seminal infusion.
HOLLY:
I suppose that would be alright. They’re in the stable, in the back. I’ll get
the keys for you later. (she clutches the key around her neck so Jean
doesn’t see it)
FADE (5A)
NICK:
(To Holly) Well, since the subject has been brought up, perhaps we can
vote on the electric sleigh issue now. (turning to the crowd) As you all
know, there has been discussion about green initiatives. There has been
suggestion that CHAOS switch from reindeer sleighs to electric sleighs.
Although this is not necessarily a “green” solution, it would, over the long
term, be less expensive for CHAOS to have electric sleighs. All Board
Members in favour of changing to electric sleighs say “Aye”. (none of
the Board members vote yes) All those opposed? (all Board members
vote no)
Well, it looks like the motion to change to electric sleighs is defeated. So
Holly, that is all the more reason to switch toy suppliers.
HOLLY:
(stamping her feet) I SAID NO! We are not switching suppliers to Acme
Toys and that’s that! Besides we didn’t actually overspend our budget.
The income simply fell short of our expenses.(she runs off in tears and
returns a few minutes later) PLAY CUE 6
CUE 7 (AUTOMATIC START)
NICK:
(throws his arms up in frustration)
10
Scene 2 – AFTER SALAD ( if buffet, once guests have settled to eat)
FADE (7A)
NICK:
Here ye, we have another issue to be voted on. Are all of the Board
members present? Say Aye.
(Board members all say Aye)
There are many Santas who have made application to the department
stores requesting that their employment not be governed by CHAOS. It
is the position of CHAOS that all Santas should continue to be governed
by CHAOS in order to maintain the good name of Santa Claus. Those in
favour of allowing private Santas to work for the department stores and
not be governed by CHAOS say “Aye”. Those opposed? (All board
members oppose)
NICK:
Looks like to motion to allow private Santas is defeated.
Mary, please see that the department stores all receive a copy of this
Motion Decision.
MARY:
Certainly Nick. And is there anything I else you’d like me to do for you
this evening?
NICK:
Not at the moment thank you.
11
MARY:
Well, I was wondering Nick, if you’d like to join me over here for dinner
tonight.
NICK:
That would be lovely Mary.
HOLLY:
But Nick, (stamping her foot and sulking) I thought you said we would sit
together tonight. We always sit together at the CHAOS meetings.
NICK:
(conceding to Holly) Of course Holly, I’ll be there in a moment.
(Mary is obviously angry that Holly butted in, again. Mary is seen huffing and puffing to
show her displeasure)
HOLLY:
(Gloating at Mary) Besides Mary, isn’t it time for your workshop anyway?
MARY:
Yes, I suppose it is! (giving Holly an angry glance)
HOLLY:
(To the crowd) As we do every year at the CHAOS Convention, we will
be holding several workshops. The first one this evening is ...(giving a
snide glance at Mary) “Curl Up and Dye With Mrs. Claus”. Mary, why
don’t you tell us about it.
.
12
MARY:
(snatching the written description from Holly) Starting with stage
makeup at the age of 12 and beginning character transformations by 14,
I started off on track to becoming a master make up artist. Working in
the industry for over 25 years, I am ready to share my expertise to help
you make fantasies come to life! Santa's hygiene and grooming, and
beard and mustache trimming will be among the topics covered, as well
as the preparation and processes of hair whitening, including stain
removal such as coffee, blood and gravy…we know how santa loves his
gravy. We’ll also talk about some new products as well as how to get
long lasting beautiful curls. If you’re signed up for this workshop, it will be
taking place in workshop room #1 shortly. Please make your way there
now so that we can all curl up and dye together. (Mary leaves the room)’
PLAY CUE 8
JEAN:
Excuse me Holly, I was just wondering…..it’s just that I’ve been to see
the reindeer….
HOLLY:
But I didn’t give you the key yet….
JEAN:
through the window….some of them seem a little thin and their antlers
appear a bit brittle. Have they been ill?
HOLLY:
No, not that I know of. I spend a lot of time with them. I’m sure I would
know if any of them were sick.
JEAN:
How often do you feed them.
13
HOLLY:
Twice a day.
JEAN:
And what about the stables? How often are they cleaned?
HOLLY:
(beginning to get defensive) We have a full time staff that care for the
reindeer year round. They feed them twice a day and clean their stables
at least once a week, but more often if its needed.
JEAN:
And what about exercise?
HOLLY:
They are taken out at least an hour every day to run in the pastures. I’m
a little confused. Are you not just the semen representative?
JEAN:
(clearly annoyed by Holly’s cavalier attitude toward her) I am not JUST a
semen representative. I am a Seminal Accumulation and Infusion
Specialist. But I also just have a general interest in animals that’s all. I
like to know that they’re well cared for.
HOLLY:
Well you can rest assured that our reindeer are treated as members of
our family.
14
JEAN:
But don’t you think that it’s time CHAOS got with the times and
switched to electric sleighs such as they are doing in other countries?
HOLLY:
No I don’t. My grandfather would never have approved and since I have
the majority of shares in CHAOS, I have the final say. Even if the Board
had voted in favour of changing over, which they did not, I would have
over-ruled their decision. But, I have much more important issues to
worry about tonight.
JEAN:
What could possibly be more important than the welfare of animals.
HOLLY:
(Snottily) Um, the children?!?!? My step-father wants to change toy
suppliers to a cheap supplier whose toys are known to break easily and
cause danger to the children. Ah, there’s Brighton, I need to speak with
him.
Brighton, I was just wondering if we could have a word. You know my
step-father wants to give the toy contract to ACME Toys. You know their
reputation, if you’re elected as the new Chairman of CHAOS what
position will you take on that issue?
BRIGHTON: I tend to agree with Nick on this one Holly. CHAOS has to tighten the
purse strings if we’re going to survive.
15
HOLLY:
Well, cheap toys is only a short term solution, but it will do more harm
in the long term. You can’t possibly agree.
BRIGHTON: Well sorry, but I do.
PLAY CUE 9
HOLLY:
(her expression changing to anger) You know Brighton, I was reading
the Jingle Observer and there’s an article in there about a santa claus
being charged with public drunkenness. The picture looks surprisingly
like you Brighton…..I don’t have to mention this article, but we both know
what will happen tonight at the polls if I decide to make this article known
to the Board and show them all the photo.
BRIGHTON: Are you threatening me?
HOLLY:
Call it whatever you want Brighton, I’m just trying to protect the reputation
of CHAOS. Your reputation is in your own hands. (Holly turns on her
heel and leaves)
BRIGHTON: (To Nick) Nick, listen, I know you made some promises to Holly’s
mother when she died, but really, this spoiled little girl is really starting to
interfere with the success of CHAOS.
16
NICK:
Yes, yes Brighton, I know. She’s been very difficult to control lately.
We are at odds on several issues. The problem is, she has the majority
of shares in CHAOS, and ultimately, the final say as well.
BRIGHTON: Her mother must have left you something? Some sort of control? I
mean, you’re the Chairman of CHAOS after all….
NICK:
I only have 25% of the shares that Holly’s mother left me and Holly has
40%.
BRIGHTON: (seen counting on his fingers) And what about the other shares?
NICK:
Mary has 25% and 10% are public.
BRIGHTON: I see. (thinking) Surely you can make Holly see sense.
ALL:
Shirley? Who’s Shirley?
BRIGHTON: Not Shirley; Surely. (back to Nick) She looks up to you as a father figure.
17
NICK:
Well that’s true Brighton, we have always been close but let’s be
honest no one has that sort of control over Holly (sounding quite
sarcastic and critical). I did have control of Holly’s shares until she
turned 21. I probably should have made some changes then. Who knew
she was going to grow up to be so spoiled. Now she has control and I
don’t have control of her shares, unless something happens to her, then
they revert back to me. PLAY HK4 (SUSPICIOUS) But since that’s not
likely I just have to abide by her decisions.
And don’t kid yourself Brighton, if you become Chairman, you’ll have to
abide by her as well.
PLAY CUE 10
BRIGHTON: Well that’s pretty unlikely. I cannot be controlled by a spoiled little girl.
NICK:
Oh, Brighton, that’s just you being competitive as usual.
BRIGHTON: Maybe, maybe not….
(Nick shrugs and they are both seen consumed by their own thoughts for a moment
and then Nick leaves Brighton but remains in the area, where he can overhear
Brighton and Mary’s upcoming conversation)
(Mary approaches Brighton)
MARY:
Brighton, I couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying about Holly.
18
BRIGHTON: Hmm, yes. She’s nothing more than a spoiled brat with idealistic
opinions.
(The wander off together)
MARY:
Yes, she just doesn’t get reality, does she? And let’s be honest, she’s
not in her position because of her brains.
PLAY CUE 11
BRIGHTON: That’s true. Listen Mary…..(they leave the room - or at least are in a
corner whispering with each other and Nick is considering their
conversation)
19
SCENE 3 – AFTER MAIN COURSE
FADE (11A)
MARY:
Okay, everyone, if you have signed up for our “Singing With Santa”
workshop, it’s taking place now in Workshop Room #1 now. Please
make your way there.
JEAN:
I hadn’t heard about this workshop. I enjoy singing.
MARY:
Well then, you just have to join us in the workshop.
( Mary out of the room with the others taking the workshop)
(Jean follows singing a bar or two from God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, let nothing ye
dismay)
(Nick and Holly are seen arguing over toys and electric sleighs. Holly eventually
storms out of the room.)
NICK:
Alright, all board members present, say “Aye”
(Board members say “Aye”)
NICK:
The time has come for all of you to vote for my successor. You’ll find the
polls just outside the door. Board members, please follow me to cast
your votes.
20
(All board members have returned and the workshop culminates in a number for the
entire group.
MARY:
Well everyone, we have put together a little entertainment for you. Here
are the Chiming Belles to perform for you.
PLAY CUE 12 – ( PLAY WMP FILE on desktop IF NO OVERHEAD)
Hubby’s Home And I Think He’s Drunk
(To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)
Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;
hubby's home and I think he's drunk.
He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't think he’s
shaved in two weeks,
hubby's home and boy is he drunk.
He’s spent most of our money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all the rest
And lost it at the track.
Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
hubby's home and he's really drunk!
21
MARY:
What a wonderful job. Let’s hear some Santaplause everyone…
(Holly is not seen from the time of the singing with Santa workshop.)
BRIGHTON: Oh my gosh! Holly is on the floor outside the workshop room. PLAY
CUE 13 Can we get some help? (Jean will grab a couple of men to help
bring Holly into the room) PLAY CUE 14
JEAN:
Oh good golly, what’s happened to Holly? Mary, you were very jealous
of Holly. Did you do this to her?
MARY:
Well let’s be honest, no-one really liked her. Even Nick was getting fed
up with all of her (Oliver) tantrums.
ALL:
Oliver? Who’s Oliver?
MARY:
Not Oliver, …ALL OF HER tantrums.
NICK:
I’m not sure what you’re suggesting. I’m going to ignore it.
22
BRIGHTON: Well we can’t ignore what’s happened.
JEAN:
That’s true, why don’t we see what evidence is available. (Jean starts to
search around Holly for evidence and Brighton pushes her out of the
way)
BRIGHTON: I bet I can get to the bottom of this. (he grabs the clipboard from her
purse and removes the newspaper)
PLAY CUE 15
MARY:
What was that Brighton?
BRIGHTON: Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
JEAN:
Mary’s right, you took something and hid it in behind your back.
BRIGHTON: Fine, (pulling the paper out) It’s just a newspaper, nothing important.
NICK:
We’ll be the judge of that. Let’s have a look at it. (Nick reads the article)
Brighton, why were you hiding this.
23
BRIGHTON: I wasn’t hiding it. I just don’t think it’s of any importance is all.
NICK:
Well we shouldn’t leave any stone unturned. We’ll put it over here on the
table.
BRIGHTON: The financial report is here as well. It’s probably pertinent.
JEAN:
What’s that sticking out of your pocket Mary?
PLAY CUE 16
MARY:
They’re just my hairstyling tools from the Curl Up and Dye workshop.
NICK:
Well they could be weapons, couldn’t they?
(he takes the scissors and inspects them)
NICK:
Aha! And there’s blood on these scissors.
MARY:
Yes, I cut my finger with them (she shows her bandaged finger. Nick
places them with all of her tools on the table)
24
NICK:
And Jean, what about your pocket there? What about that needle.
JEAN:
That was just for taking some blood samples from the reindeer for their
next seminal infusion.
MARY:
Smells fishy to me. If my styling tools are on the table, so should your
semen tool.
(Jean puts her testing equipment on the table)
JEAN:
And I found this document. It looks like someone’s will.
NICK:
Well, it’s my late wife’s will. Where did you get this? (Nick appears
nervous about the will and doesn’t really want it on the evidence table)
JEAN:
I found it on the floor after the singing workshop. I suspect Holly dropped
it? (Jean takes it back and places the will on the table)
MARY:
Does anyone else have any information which may be important?
25
AUD:
I went to the bathroom and I’m sure I saw someone dressed as Santa
hanging around outside the workshop classroom. He looked like he was
up to no good.
MARY:
Did you see her, ‘er I mean HIS face?
AUD:
No.
MARY:
I suppose then, that we don’t even know if it was a man or a woman so it
could have been anyone. Okay everyone, come up and have a look at
the body and the santaclues and let’s see if we can figure out what has
happened to our Holly Day.
PLAY CUE 17 WHEN MARY IS FINISHED.
PLAY CUE 18 - AUTOMATIC
26
Denouement – Dessert
FADE (18A)
NICK:
Order everyone. Mary, have you collected all of the slips?
(Jean should retrieve the antler to hide in her jacket)
MARY:
I have, and the consensus is that Brighton must have been worried about
the newspaper article. He knew that if the Board found out about his bad
behaviour that he’d never be voted as Chairman of CHAOS.
BRIGHTON: My goodness Mary, the Board already knew about the article. My killing
Holly wouldn’t stop them from finding out. But everyone knows that you
were jealous of Holly. She didn’t like you and didn’t want you getting
together with Nick.
NICK:
That’s true Mary, you figured that with Holly out of the way that you and I
could finally be together, and then between us we’d have control of
CHAOS.
MARY:
Oh don’t flatter yourself Nick. You’re not worth killing for. But Nick, you
had something to gain from Holly’s death. Who now holds the majority of
shares now that Holly is dead?
BRIGHTON: Of course. I already thought of that too.
27
NICK:
That’s more of a motive for you Brighton. You were the one who was
worried that if you were voted Chairman, you wouldn’t be able to tolerate
Holly’s control.
MARY:
And you tried to hide this newspaper. (She picks up the newspaper).
Was she threatening you with this article about you? (as she is holding
up the paper she notices another article on the back page. She looks at
the photo, then at Jean, then at the photo and back to Jean again.) Oh
my lord! This story is about you Jean.
ALL:
Eugene? Who’s Eugene? Is there a Eugene here?
PLAY CUE 19
MARY:
Not Eugene….YOU JEAN….”over the top RRA activist threatens to stop
Santas from using reindeer AT ANY COST”. It says here that “she vows
to stop these cruel people from harming reindeer in ANY WAY SHE
CAN”
NICK:
Are you joking? Cruel? We treat those reindeer like family.
JEAN:
What by making them pull a sleigh around packed with toys? I asked
Holly to put a stop to it. She said no. I warned her.
NICK:
So you killed her?
28
JEAN:
I didn’t mean to kill her. I was just trying to get the keys for the stable
from her to let the reindeer loose. She fought with me, we struggles and
she was impaled with this broken reindeer antler. (holding up the antler)
….. But at least now the reindeer are free.
BRIGHTON: Well that’s more than I can say for you. I’m afraid we’re going to have to
hold you till the police arrive for you. I’m going to take you to the stables
and lock you in there. (Brighton takes Jean out of the room)
NICK:
Well I suppose that wraps up the Convention of CHAOS for 2014. PLAY
CUE 20 It turned out a little differently that we had planned but I hope
you’ll all enjoy the Great Snow Ball this evening. Goodnight everyone.
(he leaves the room)
MARY:
Well Nick, wait for me, perhaps we can go to the Snow Ball together?
Nick? Nick? (she runs after Nick)
THE END
HK8 (IF NECESSASRY)
FADE (20A) FOR INTRODUCTIONS
PLAY CUE 21
29
AUD - BOARD OF DIRECTORS
AUD - ACME TOY REPRESENTATIVE
AUD - SINGING WORKSHOP AND PERFORMERS
character
Props
Nick
Motion for department stores
Mary
Holly
Brighton
Hairstyling & makeup tools;
Conductors stick;, Registration
clipboard,;
Blood, newspaper, keys, financial
report, minutes from 2011, cell
phone collection bag
Liquor bottle, application for
Chairman;
Jean
Syringe, test tubes, Will
Aud 1, 2, 3, 4
Santa suits, paddles; polling
station
Aud 5
Acme Toy proposal
Aud 6, 7, 8, 9
Chiming bells, music/computer
Mrs. Tyme’s will, podium, mic stand
1
THE CHAOS IS
KILLING ME
It's time for the annual CHAOS (Canadian Honorary Association of Santas) Meeting and it’s
also time for Nicholas O. Time to hang up his Santa Sack….or is it? Is he ready in the Nick O.
Time? or is it someone else who thinks he’s ready? Join us for the wacky Santa Convention
and help us solve this holiday mystery.
Costume Suggestions:
Antlers.
Santa Suits, Elf / Santa’s Helper Suits, Mrs. Claus Suits, Reindeer
COPYRIGHT PROTECTED BY MURDER FOR HIRE 2006
LAST REVISION November 14, 2015
Sound cues updated November 14, 2015
2
Characters
Holly Day - Holly is the secretary/treasurer for CHAOS and also doubles
as an elf. She won’t go along with Nick’s plan to use the AcmeToy
Company as the CHAOS supplier. She may have leaked some bad
information to the newspaper, accidentally about the candidates for the
new Chairman of CHAOS. She dislikes Mary because ‘no-one can ever
take her mother’s place’. Holly is the annoying spoiled brat who always
wants her own way. She owns 40% of the shares of CHAOS
Victim
Nicholas (Nick) O. (Oliver) Time - Nick is Chairman of CHAOS and
is ready to finally give up his title to a successor or is he? He is
Holly’s very protective step-father. He promised Holly’s mother on
her death bed that he would watch out for Holly. Nick is very cheap
and he has been in talks with the Acme Toy Company to be the
exclusive supplier of toys to CHAOS.
Motive: He may be angry over the finances. Holly really holds the
money (literally) for CHAOS since her grandfather founded the
organization. The only reason Nick became Chairman of CHAOS was because he
was married to Holly’s mother. If Holly is out of the way, Holly’s shares go to Nick He
owns 25% of his own.
Brighton Early - Hopeful candidate to be the successor for the head
of CHAOS. He’s very competitive and always tries to one-up everyone
he speaks to. If you’ve done, said or tried anything Brighton is certain to have done it more often, said it already and tried
it twice! He enjoys his drink and was arrested recently for being drunk
in public. This will tarnish his reputation as a Santa Claus and
certainly will preclude him from being a candidate for Chairman of
CHAOS. So far, he’s been able to keep this information quiet, but for
how long?
Motive: Angry that Holly plans to ruin his reputation by leaking the story to the
newspaper. Now he’ll never be the Chairman of CHAOS.
3
Mary Krissmas - Hopeful Mrs. Claus. She carries a torch for Nick
and also owns 25% of the shares in CHAOS. She runs the local
charity, PANIC (People Assisting Needy Infants and Children) for
which many of the Santas work and also holds the workshops at
the CHAOS Convention. She’s a real drama queen and a prude.
Motive: She’s in love with Nick and has to get Holly out of the way
if she can ever be with Nick. Then together they would own
control of CHAOS,.
Jean Poole (or Jin P00l) - is a Reindeer Seminal
Accumulation and Infusion Specialist. Jean is also
secretly a member of the RRA (Reindeer Rights
Association). He/She believes that CHAOS has
enslaved the reindeer population and vows to have
them set free. He/She may be a vegetarian, but if not
she will be very picky about her food, etc.. She is
annoyingly sympathetic to everything and everyone.
She is present at CHAOS as the reindeer semen
supplier but really she’s there as a rep from the RRA
to investigate the treatment of the reindeer.
Motive:
He/She knows that Holly is the reason that the reindeer will never be freed
and can’t let Holly stand in the way of freeing the reindeer.
4
PLAY CUE 1
FADE OUT (1A) ON DIRECTOR’S CUE
PLAY CUE 2 (CELL PHONE WARNING) (IF necessary)
Scene 1 – COCKTAILS (before meal)
NICK:
Welcome everyone to our 2011 Canadian Honorary Association Of
Santas Convention, or CHAOS for short. CHAOS is dedicated to training
Santas and enhancing their portrayal of Santa Claus for the benefit of
your family and community throughout the year.
PLAY CUE 3 Whether Santa visits your home, your church, your charitable
organization, or is employed at your local department store, CHAOS is
there to ensure your time with Santa will be an occasion that will enrich
your lives forever.
What does it take to be a member of CHAOS? We are a very select
group of gentlemen, who have all, at one time or another, sported a
Santa Claus Suit; whether it was for his own children or grandchildren on
Christmas Day, or whether as a full or part time Santa, wearing the red
suit for the public. And of course we have our auxiliary members made
up of Mrs. Clauses as well as the youth who are all aspiring Santas,
currently in training through their work as elves.
Now, believe it or not there are some children out there in the world who
can’t afford cell phones. Yes, I know it is hard to believe. So as we do
each year we’ll be taking a collection for them. So if you wish to donate
your cell phone to the needy children, just have it in your hand or on the
table in front of you and we’ll collect it from you.
5
Our Board of Directors are all present and will be assisting with making
decisions on several issues this evening. All Board members present,
say “Aye”.
(Board members, including Brighton, all say “Aye”)
NICK:
We’ll hear from Holly Day, our secretary treasurer with respect to the
minutes from last year’s convention as well as the agenda for tonight’s
meeting and she will also give us a financial report. Holly…
HOLLY:
Thank you Father Nick. Let’s begin with last year’s minutes… we
discussed which department stores will employ Santas for the upcoming
season and which Santa will be assigned to each store.
We also discussed possible “green” initiatives for Santas across the
country, however there were no suggestions made that were voted to go
ahead.
There was also some suggestion that Santa should stop coming down
the chimney because it’s unsanitary ….because the soot gets in his
lungs.
And lastly, we discussed that Father Nick is getting on in years and may
be ready to pass on his Santa Sack to a successor to his chair.
(Nick coughs and chokes, suggesting that he may not be ready to pack it in yet)
HOLLY:
Several of you have submitted your applications for the position and
we’ve been considering them over the past year. We’ll have the board
vote in a confidential poll later in the evening.
6
BRIGHTON: Excuse me….Here is my application Holly.
HOLLY:
Brighton, these applications were all supposed to be submitted months
ago.
BRIGHTON: I know, but well…you know how it is?
HOLLY:
No, I don’t think I do. How is it? (Sarcastically)
BRIGHTON: (looking at his drink) It’s pretty good, thanks for asking. (laughing at his
own joke) Ahem, But seriously, I had to make sure that my application
would make it to the top of the pile. (he hands his application to Holly)
HOLLY:
(looking disgusted with Brighton, but taking his application and moving
on) As for the financial report. Well to be honest, things have gotten a
little out of control over this past year. The number of needy children is
steadily increasing, as Mary can attest to. Some of the parents of those
children have asked for loans for the season, and as you know it’s better
to give than to lend and the final cost is about the same.
Also the price of good quality toys is on the rise and so we are
investigating some alternative toy suppliers. If there are any
representatives here who have not submitted their quotes, then please
do so immediately.
7
AUD (ACME Toy representative): Here is my quote Ms. Day. I’m sure you will find
that my quote is by far the lowest quote. After all, we all must help bail
out poor Saint Nickel-less. (handing the quote to Holly)
HOLLY:
(Holly takes the quote) Well thank you Mr. ? um, um Acme, is it? Please,
take a seat. CHAOS does not make it a habit to employ the cheapest
manufacturers. We pride ourselves in supplying good quality toys to the
needy children. Just because they are poor doesn’t mean they don’t
deserve the very best. And, I’m sorry, but your toys are just junk.
JEAN:
Holly is right. The poor children go without so much, it would be so sad
to see them get cheap toys at Christmas only to see them broken a few
days later.
NICK:
If I may interject for just a moment. I do agree with you Ms. Um?
JEAN:
Poole, Jean Pool. I work for Morningwood Semen. I’m the Reindeer
Seminal Accumulation and Infusion Specialist.
NICK:
Oh yes of course, the semen supplier for the reindeer. Anyway, Holly,
as I was saying, the financial report is quite upsetting. I think that we
should go with the lowest quote this year. CHAOS cannot stay afloat if
we continue at the rate we have been.
8
HOLLY:
But Nick, you know that my when my Grandfather founded CHAOS he
vowed to always treat the needy children as they were his own. And
when you married my mother, I remember you promising her that you
would uphold that vow if you were appointed Chairman.
NICK:
Well that’s true Holly, and I meant it…. at the time. But things change.
We just cannot continue the way we are. CHAOS won’t survive.
(Holly begins to look sad)
HOLLY:
All this talk about Mother. I sure miss her. PLAY CUE 4 The only
comfort I still have are the reindeer. She and I always enjoyed taking
care of them together.
(Nick starts to feel obviously guilty for upsetting Holly)
JEAN:
Speaking of the reindeer Holly, I was wondering if any decisions had
been made about changing over to electric sleighs?
HOLLY:
No the decision hasn’t been made yet. We’ll be voting on it this evening.
FADE (4A) IF NECESSARY
JEAN:
I see, well perhaps I could spend some time with the reindeer some time
this evening?
HOLLY:
I suppose, but what for? (suspiciously)
9
PLAY CUE 5
JEAN:
I just need to do some testing in preparation for the next seminal infusion.
HOLLY:
I suppose that would be alright. They’re in the stable, in the back. I’ll get
the keys for you later. (she clutches the key around her neck so Jean
doesn’t see it)
FADE (5A)
NICK:
(To Holly) Well, since the subject has been brought up, perhaps we can
vote on the electric sleigh issue now. (turning to the crowd) As you all
know, there has been discussion about green initiatives. There has been
suggestion that CHAOS switch from reindeer sleighs to electric sleighs.
Although this is not necessarily a “green” solution, it would, over the long
term, be less expensive for CHAOS to have electric sleighs. All Board
Members in favour of changing to electric sleighs say “Aye”. (none of
the Board members vote yes) All those opposed? (all Board members
vote no)
Well, it looks like the motion to change to electric sleighs is defeated. So
Holly, that is all the more reason to switch toy suppliers.
HOLLY:
(stamping her feet) I SAID NO! We are not switching suppliers to Acme
Toys and that’s that! Besides we didn’t actually overspend our budget.
The income simply fell short of our expenses.(she runs off in tears and
returns a few minutes later) PLAY CUE 6
CUE 7 (AUTOMATIC START)
NICK:
(throws his arms up in frustration)
10
Scene 2 – AFTER SALAD ( if buffet, once guests have settled to eat)
FADE (7A)
NICK:
Here ye, we have another issue to be voted on. Are all of the Board
members present? Say Aye.
(Board members all say Aye)
There are many Santas who have made application to the department
stores requesting that their employment not be governed by CHAOS. It
is the position of CHAOS that all Santas should continue to be governed
by CHAOS in order to maintain the good name of Santa Claus. Those in
favour of allowing private Santas to work for the department stores and
not be governed by CHAOS say “Aye”. Those opposed? (All board
members oppose)
NICK:
Looks like to motion to allow private Santas is defeated.
Mary, please see that the department stores all receive a copy of this
Motion Decision.
MARY:
Certainly Nick. And is there anything I else you’d like me to do for you
this evening?
NICK:
Not at the moment thank you.
11
MARY:
Well, I was wondering Nick, if you’d like to join me over here for dinner
tonight.
NICK:
That would be lovely Mary.
HOLLY:
But Nick, (stamping her foot and sulking) I thought you said we would sit
together tonight. We always sit together at the CHAOS meetings.
NICK:
(conceding to Holly) Of course Holly, I’ll be there in a moment.
(Mary is obviously angry that Holly butted in, again. Mary is seen huffing and puffing to
show her displeasure)
HOLLY:
(Gloating at Mary) Besides Mary, isn’t it time for your workshop anyway?
MARY:
Yes, I suppose it is! (giving Holly an angry glance)
HOLLY:
(To the crowd) As we do every year at the CHAOS Convention, we will
be holding several workshops. The first one this evening is ...(giving a
snide glance at Mary) “Curl Up and Dye With Mrs. Claus”. Mary, why
don’t you tell us about it.
.
12
MARY:
(snatching the written description from Holly) Starting with stage
makeup at the age of 12 and beginning character transformations by 14,
I started off on track to becoming a master make up artist. Working in
the industry for over 25 years, I am ready to share my expertise to help
you make fantasies come to life! Santa's hygiene and grooming, and
beard and mustache trimming will be among the topics covered, as well
as the preparation and processes of hair whitening, including stain
removal such as coffee, blood and gravy…we know how santa loves his
gravy. We’ll also talk about some new products as well as how to get
long lasting beautiful curls. If you’re signed up for this workshop, it will be
taking place in workshop room #1 shortly. Please make your way there
now so that we can all curl up and dye together. (Mary leaves the room)’
PLAY CUE 8
JEAN:
Excuse me Holly, I was just wondering…..it’s just that I’ve been to see
the reindeer….
HOLLY:
But I didn’t give you the key yet….
JEAN:
through the window….some of them seem a little thin and their antlers
appear a bit brittle. Have they been ill?
HOLLY:
No, not that I know of. I spend a lot of time with them. I’m sure I would
know if any of them were sick.
JEAN:
How often do you feed them.
13
HOLLY:
Twice a day.
JEAN:
And what about the stables? How often are they cleaned?
HOLLY:
(beginning to get defensive) We have a full time staff that care for the
reindeer year round. They feed them twice a day and clean their stables
at least once a week, but more often if its needed.
JEAN:
And what about exercise?
HOLLY:
They are taken out at least an hour every day to run in the pastures. I’m
a little confused. Are you not just the semen representative?
JEAN:
(clearly annoyed by Holly’s cavalier attitude toward her) I am not JUST a
semen representative. I am a Seminal Accumulation and Infusion
Specialist. But I also just have a general interest in animals that’s all. I
like to know that they’re well cared for.
HOLLY:
Well you can rest assured that our reindeer are treated as members of
our family.
14
JEAN:
But don’t you think that it’s time CHAOS got with the times and
switched to electric sleighs such as they are doing in other countries?
HOLLY:
No I don’t. My grandfather would never have approved and since I have
the majority of shares in CHAOS, I have the final say. Even if the Board
had voted in favour of changing over, which they did not, I would have
over-ruled their decision. But, I have much more important issues to
worry about tonight.
JEAN:
What could possibly be more important than the welfare of animals.
HOLLY:
(Snottily) Um, the children?!?!? My step-father wants to change toy
suppliers to a cheap supplier whose toys are known to break easily and
cause danger to the children. Ah, there’s Brighton, I need to speak with
him.
Brighton, I was just wondering if we could have a word. You know my
step-father wants to give the toy contract to ACME Toys. You know their
reputation, if you’re elected as the new Chairman of CHAOS what
position will you take on that issue?
BRIGHTON: I tend to agree with Nick on this one Holly. CHAOS has to tighten the
purse strings if we’re going to survive.
15
HOLLY:
Well, cheap toys is only a short term solution, but it will do more harm
in the long term. You can’t possibly agree.
BRIGHTON: Well sorry, but I do.
PLAY CUE 9
HOLLY:
(her expression changing to anger) You know Brighton, I was reading
the Jingle Observer and there’s an article in there about a santa claus
being charged with public drunkenness. The picture looks surprisingly
like you Brighton…..I don’t have to mention this article, but we both know
what will happen tonight at the polls if I decide to make this article known
to the Board and show them all the photo.
BRIGHTON: Are you threatening me?
HOLLY:
Call it whatever you want Brighton, I’m just trying to protect the reputation
of CHAOS. Your reputation is in your own hands. (Holly turns on her
heel and leaves)
BRIGHTON: (To Nick) Nick, listen, I know you made some promises to Holly’s
mother when she died, but really, this spoiled little girl is really starting to
interfere with the success of CHAOS.
16
NICK:
Yes, yes Brighton, I know. She’s been very difficult to control lately.
We are at odds on several issues. The problem is, she has the majority
of shares in CHAOS, and ultimately, the final say as well.
BRIGHTON: Her mother must have left you something? Some sort of control? I
mean, you’re the Chairman of CHAOS after all….
NICK:
I only have 25% of the shares that Holly’s mother left me and Holly has
40%.
BRIGHTON: (seen counting on his fingers) And what about the other shares?
NICK:
Mary has 25% and 10% are public.
BRIGHTON: I see. (thinking) Surely you can make Holly see sense.
ALL:
Shirley? Who’s Shirley?
BRIGHTON: Not Shirley; Surely. (back to Nick) She looks up to you as a father figure.
17
NICK:
Well that’s true Brighton, we have always been close but let’s be
honest no one has that sort of control over Holly (sounding quite
sarcastic and critical). I did have control of Holly’s shares until she
turned 21. I probably should have made some changes then. Who knew
she was going to grow up to be so spoiled. Now she has control and I
don’t have control of her shares, unless something happens to her, then
they revert back to me. PLAY HK4 (SUSPICIOUS) But since that’s not
likely I just have to abide by her decisions.
And don’t kid yourself Brighton, if you become Chairman, you’ll have to
abide by her as well.
PLAY CUE 10
BRIGHTON: Well that’s pretty unlikely. I cannot be controlled by a spoiled little girl.
NICK:
Oh, Brighton, that’s just you being competitive as usual.
BRIGHTON: Maybe, maybe not….
(Nick shrugs and they are both seen consumed by their own thoughts for a moment
and then Nick leaves Brighton but remains in the area, where he can overhear
Brighton and Mary’s upcoming conversation)
(Mary approaches Brighton)
MARY:
Brighton, I couldn’t help but overhear what you were saying about Holly.
18
BRIGHTON: Hmm, yes. She’s nothing more than a spoiled brat with idealistic
opinions.
(The wander off together)
MARY:
Yes, she just doesn’t get reality, does she? And let’s be honest, she’s
not in her position because of her brains.
PLAY CUE 11
BRIGHTON: That’s true. Listen Mary…..(they leave the room - or at least are in a
corner whispering with each other and Nick is considering their
conversation)
19
SCENE 3 – AFTER MAIN COURSE
FADE (11A)
MARY:
Okay, everyone, if you have signed up for our “Singing With Santa”
workshop, it’s taking place now in Workshop Room #1 now. Please
make your way there.
JEAN:
I hadn’t heard about this workshop. I enjoy singing.
MARY:
Well then, you just have to join us in the workshop.
( Mary out of the room with the others taking the workshop)
(Jean follows singing a bar or two from God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, let nothing ye
dismay)
(Nick and Holly are seen arguing over toys and electric sleighs. Holly eventually
storms out of the room.)
NICK:
Alright, all board members present, say “Aye”
(Board members say “Aye”)
NICK:
The time has come for all of you to vote for my successor. You’ll find the
polls just outside the door. Board members, please follow me to cast
your votes.
20
(All board members have returned and the workshop culminates in a number for the
entire group.
MARY:
Well everyone, we have put together a little entertainment for you. Here
are the Chiming Belles to perform for you.
PLAY CUE 12 – ( PLAY WMP FILE on desktop IF NO OVERHEAD)
Hubby’s Home And I Think He’s Drunk
(To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)
Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm tellin' you why;
hubby's home and I think he's drunk.
He's walkin' real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don't think he’s
shaved in two weeks,
hubby's home and boy is he drunk.
He’s spent most of our money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all the rest
And lost it at the track.
Sooo.... You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don't like that look in his eye,
hubby's home and he's really drunk!
21
MARY:
What a wonderful job. Let’s hear some Santaplause everyone…
(Holly is not seen from the time of the singing with Santa workshop.)
BRIGHTON: Oh my gosh! Holly is on the floor outside the workshop room. PLAY
CUE 13 Can we get some help? (Jean will grab a couple of men to help
bring Holly into the room) PLAY CUE 14
JEAN:
Oh good golly, what’s happened to Holly? Mary, you were very jealous
of Holly. Did you do this to her?
MARY:
Well let’s be honest, no-one really liked her. Even Nick was getting fed
up with all of her (Oliver) tantrums.
ALL:
Oliver? Who’s Oliver?
MARY:
Not Oliver, …ALL OF HER tantrums.
NICK:
I’m not sure what you’re suggesting. I’m going to ignore it.
22
BRIGHTON: Well we can’t ignore what’s happened.
JEAN:
That’s true, why don’t we see what evidence is available. (Jean starts to
search around Holly for evidence and Brighton pushes her out of the
way)
BRIGHTON: I bet I can get to the bottom of this. (he grabs the clipboard from her
purse and removes the newspaper)
PLAY CUE 15
MARY:
What was that Brighton?
BRIGHTON: Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
JEAN:
Mary’s right, you took something and hid it in behind your back.
BRIGHTON: Fine, (pulling the paper out) It’s just a newspaper, nothing important.
NICK:
We’ll be the judge of that. Let’s have a look at it. (Nick reads the article)
Brighton, why were you hiding this.
23
BRIGHTON: I wasn’t hiding it. I just don’t think it’s of any importance is all.
NICK:
Well we shouldn’t leave any stone unturned. We’ll put it over here on the
table.
BRIGHTON: The financial report is here as well. It’s probably pertinent.
JEAN:
What’s that sticking out of your pocket Mary?
PLAY CUE 16
MARY:
They’re just my hairstyling tools from the Curl Up and Dye workshop.
NICK:
Well they could be weapons, couldn’t they?
(he takes the scissors and inspects them)
NICK:
Aha! And there’s blood on these scissors.
MARY:
Yes, I cut my finger with them (she shows her bandaged finger. Nick
places them with all of her tools on the table)
24
NICK:
And Jean, what about your pocket there? What about that needle.
JEAN:
That was just for taking some blood samples from the reindeer for their
next seminal infusion.
MARY:
Smells fishy to me. If my styling tools are on the table, so should your
semen tool.
(Jean puts her testing equipment on the table)
JEAN:
And I found this document. It looks like someone’s will.
NICK:
Well, it’s my late wife’s will. Where did you get this? (Nick appears
nervous about the will and doesn’t really want it on the evidence table)
JEAN:
I found it on the floor after the singing workshop. I suspect Holly dropped
it? (Jean takes it back and places the will on the table)
MARY:
Does anyone else have any information which may be important?
25
AUD:
I went to the bathroom and I’m sure I saw someone dressed as Santa
hanging around outside the workshop classroom. He looked like he was
up to no good.
MARY:
Did you see her, ‘er I mean HIS face?
AUD:
No.
MARY:
I suppose then, that we don’t even know if it was a man or a woman so it
could have been anyone. Okay everyone, come up and have a look at
the body and the santaclues and let’s see if we can figure out what has
happened to our Holly Day.
PLAY CUE 17 WHEN MARY IS FINISHED.
PLAY CUE 18 - AUTOMATIC
26
Denouement – Dessert
FADE (18A)
NICK:
Order everyone. Mary, have you collected all of the slips?
(Jean should retrieve the antler to hide in her jacket)
MARY:
I have, and the consensus is that Brighton must have been worried about
the newspaper article. He knew that if the Board found out about his bad
behaviour that he’d never be voted as Chairman of CHAOS.
BRIGHTON: My goodness Mary, the Board already knew about the article. My killing
Holly wouldn’t stop them from finding out. But everyone knows that you
were jealous of Holly. She didn’t like you and didn’t want you getting
together with Nick.
NICK:
That’s true Mary, you figured that with Holly out of the way that you and I
could finally be together, and then between us we’d have control of
CHAOS.
MARY:
Oh don’t flatter yourself Nick. You’re not worth killing for. But Nick, you
had something to gain from Holly’s death. Who now holds the majority of
shares now that Holly is dead?
BRIGHTON: Of course. I already thought of that too.
27
NICK:
That’s more of a motive for you Brighton. You were the one who was
worried that if you were voted Chairman, you wouldn’t be able to tolerate
Holly’s control.
MARY:
And you tried to hide this newspaper. (She picks up the newspaper).
Was she threatening you with this article about you? (as she is holding
up the paper she notices another article on the back page. She looks at
the photo, then at Jean, then at the photo and back to Jean again.) Oh
my lord! This story is about you Jean.
ALL:
Eugene? Who’s Eugene? Is there a Eugene here?
PLAY CUE 19
MARY:
Not Eugene….YOU JEAN….”over the top RRA activist threatens to stop
Santas from using reindeer AT ANY COST”. It says here that “she vows
to stop these cruel people from harming reindeer in ANY WAY SHE
CAN”
NICK:
Are you joking? Cruel? We treat those reindeer like family.
JEAN:
What by making them pull a sleigh around packed with toys? I asked
Holly to put a stop to it. She said no. I warned her.
NICK:
So you killed her?
28
JEAN:
I didn’t mean to kill her. I was just trying to get the keys for the stable
from her to let the reindeer loose. She fought with me, we struggles and
she was impaled with this broken reindeer antler. (holding up the antler)
….. But at least now the reindeer are free.
BRIGHTON: Well that’s more than I can say for you. I’m afraid we’re going to have to
hold you till the police arrive for you. I’m going to take you to the stables
and lock you in there. (Brighton takes Jean out of the room)
NICK:
Well I suppose that wraps up the Convention of CHAOS for 2014. PLAY
CUE 20 It turned out a little differently that we had planned but I hope
you’ll all enjoy the Great Snow Ball this evening. Goodnight everyone.
(he leaves the room)
MARY:
Well Nick, wait for me, perhaps we can go to the Snow Ball together?
Nick? Nick? (she runs after Nick)
THE END
HK8 (IF NECESSASRY)
FADE (20A) FOR INTRODUCTIONS
PLAY CUE 21
29
AUD - BOARD OF DIRECTORS
AUD - ACME TOY REPRESENTATIVE
AUD - SINGING WORKSHOP AND PERFORMERS
character
Props
Nick
Motion for department stores
Mary
Holly
Brighton
Hairstyling & makeup tools;
Conductors stick;, Registration
clipboard,;
Blood, newspaper, keys, financial
report, minutes from 2011, cell
phone collection bag
Liquor bottle, application for
Chairman;
Jean
Syringe, test tubes, Will
Aud 1, 2, 3, 4
Santa suits, paddles; polling
station
Aud 5
Acme Toy proposal
Aud 6, 7, 8, 9
Chiming bells, music/computer
Mrs. Tyme’s will, podium, mic stand