INTRODUCTION
The Student Writer’s Handbook is a guide for your writing at Moorpark High School. Contained
within it are the Jane Schaffer essay model adopted by the English Department, style and literary
terms, essay types, short story elements, a guide to writing a research paper, prefixes, poetry,
parts of speech, and assistance with writing problems.
During your four years at Moorpark High School, many classes will require essays and research
papers. This booklet is designed to help you write papers that meet appropriate standards in the
most professional manner possible. As you read this booklet, you may notice that some of the
language is informal. This informal style, is meant to help you understand more easily the
information presented here. When you write an assignment, however, it is essential that you
check with your teacher to see whether a formal or informal voice is more appropriate. This
handbook is not meant to be a substitute for your teacher’s instructions; rather, it is meant to
serve as a reference to assist you in completing your writing assignments in many of your
classes.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The Student Writer’s Handbook Committee:
The ‘04 Revised Student Writer’s Handbook Committee:
Ginger Brandenburg, Coordinator
Donna Fulgham
Erin Gebel
Erin Powers
Ginger Brandenburg
Donna Fulgham
Robbi La Londe
Linda Pierce
In addition, thanks are extended to the District Office for their financial support. Special thanks
are also extended to the following students who gave permission for inclusion of samples from
their freshmen writing portfolio: Amanda Davis and Rebecca Wershba.
Acknowledgment is gratefully extended to Jane Schaffer for the use of her excellent writing
program along with recognition to Upland High School for inspiring us to model our handbook
after theirs.
Take good care of this handbook. It is a one-time issue and will be
referenced throughout your high school experience, grades 9 - 12.
1
THE ESSAY
The basic purpose of written communication is to convey thought and feeling to a particular
audience. One type of writing, the essay, is an original, multi-paragraph writing organized
around a major thesis and containing the writer's reflections, interpretations, or arguments. It has
an introduction which catches the reader's attention and identifies the topic of the essay, a body
(two or more paragraphs) which proves or supports the thesis using supporting evidence, and a
conclusion which sums up or expands what has been said, without repeating statements made in
the introduction and body paragraphs.
At the minimum, an essay should consist of at least four paragraphs. Ideally, you will have
learned to write the basic essay model during your freshman year in your English class. After
that, your teachers will ask you to go beyond the level of the basic essay. You will find,
however, that whether an essay has four paragraphs or forty, it always has the same
characteristics, and it looks like the one below:
You will notice that the introduction has triangle A and B. This is because you may begin
your essay by catching your reader’s interest with a “hook” and end the introduction with
your thesis statement (a “funnel” introduction), or you may begin your introductory
paragraph with a strong thesis statement and expand on important aspects of your thesis
in the remainder of your introductory paragraph.
Intro B
Intro A
Body
Conclusion
What you learn in writing this basic four- or five-paragraph essay will be applied to all of your
writing assignments. As you go through high school, you will be expected to write a variety of
essays, not only for your English classes, but also for your social studies, science, math, and
other classes as well. Actually, what you will be doing is expanding and fine-tuning the skills
learned in your freshman writing workshop. The adjacent Portfolio Table of Contents lists the
recommended samples for each grade level in addition to one or two student selections per
semester.
Passed Writing Proficiency
2
Teacher’s Initials: _______
Date: _______
Moorpark High School Writing Portfolio Table of Contents
0 1 2 Eng.
Dept.
Score
Grade
Level
Writing Assignments
(Some assignments are specifically designated for 1st or 2nd semester)
9
1. Writing Self-Reflection (1st semester)
9
2. Autobiographical Incident (1st semester)
9
3. Service Learning Reflection Essay
9
4. Sample of Original Poetry (2nd semester)
9
5. Technology Research Project Artifact
9
6. Essay–Schaffer Method (1st semester)
9
7. Health Writing Sample (Social Studies Dept)
9
8. Analysis of Current Scientific Event (Science Dept)
10
9. Observational writing (1st semester)
10
10. Reflective Essay (2nd semester)
10
11. Mini-Research Paper (2nd semester)
10
12. Literary Analysis Essay
10
13. Business Letter (2nd semester)
10
14. Environmental essay (Science Dept)
10
15. Controversial essay (Social Studies Dept)
11
16. Resume (2nd semester)
11
17. Interpretation Essay
11
18. Evaluation Essay
12
19. Research Paper Outline
12
20. College Application Essay (1st semester)
12
21. Multi-media Project Artifact
12
22. Poetry/Style Analysis Essay
23. Annotated Bibliography: Title, author, two-sentence plot
summary and evaluation of the book.
9-12
9-12
24. Semester Review of Writing: Student will select one to two
pieces of work of their own choice to remain in the portfolio.
3
Writing Terms
First of all, let’s define the writing terms you will be using.
1.
Pre-writing: getting your ideas and concrete details down on paper before you organize
your essay into paragraphs.
2.
Thesis: a sentence with a subject and an opinion.
3.
Major thesis: the sentence that gives the subject and overall opinion of your essay. It
comes somewhere in your introductory paragraph, most often at the end. When you write
your thesis, make sure it contains your opinion, not a fact. If you were to write, "Moorpark
High School's mascot is a Musketeer," that sentence would not be a thesis because it is a
fact and not an opinion. Below is a sample major thesis:
In A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens, Sidney Carton is transformed by his
love for Lucie Manette from a non-caring man into a more considerate person.
In this example, the writer's opinion is that Carton's love for Lucie inspires him to change
his life. Someone else might disagree with this opinion. In writing the essay based on this
major thesis, you would have to support your opinion by showing examples from the novel.
4.
Topic sentence/body thesis: the first sentence of a body paragraph. It is narrower than your
major thesis, but it still includes the subject of that paragraph and has an opinion. The
following sample topic sentence/body thesis goes along with the previous major thesis
example.
When he first appears in the novel, Sydney Carton does not care about himself, nor
is he concerned about the way in which others view him.
In this example, the writer has focused on Sydney Carton's behavior at the beginning of the
novel. The body paragraph which goes with this topic sentence/body thesis would give
examples of what Carton says and does which show that he does not care about himself.
5.
Concrete Detail (CD): specific details that are most often what we see and hear. In
literature essays, this means examples from the story. Here is a concrete detail which could
be used in the paragraph supporting the previous topic sentence/body thesis example:
When Carton and Darnay are at the tavern, Carton tells him, "I care for no man on
this earth, and no man cares for me."
6.
Commentary (CM): your personal opinion, response, reaction, or reflection about a
concrete detail that you are discussing in your essay. (See chart on page 6.) When you
write commentary, you are commenting on a point you have made. Commentary may
include interpretation, personal response, opinion, analysis, explication, insight, and
reflection. In a body paragraph, commentary must echo the focus of the topic
sentence/body thesis. It does not repeat words from the thesis or from your concrete detail.
In literature essays, commentary tells the reader what the author of the text meant, or what
the concrete detail shows about the character as shown below:
Carton makes this statement as if he were excusing his rude behavior to Darnay.
However, Carton is only pretending to be polite, perhaps to amuse himself.
7.
TLDC: The acronym for the three parts to a CD sentence is TLCD. These letters represent
the following:
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T: the transition (For example,)
L: lead-in (after Scout pummels Walter Cunningham in the schoolyard)
CD: concrete detail (she says, “…)
For example, after Scout pummels Walter Cunningham in the schoolyard, she says, “…
In addition, while spending Christmas at Finch Landing, Francis tells Scout “…
Furthermore, when Scout and Jem are walking home from the pageant, “…
8.
Shaping the essay: a framework to follow when writing the rough draft. This framework
may consist of the following: a) the major thesis, (b) a topic sentence/body thesis for each
of your body paragraphs, and c) the concrete detail of the body paragraphs. When shaping
the essay, you arrange, rearrange, add, and delete the details of your "blueprint."
Requirements for shaping the essay may be expanded by your teacher.
9.
Introduction: the first paragraph in your essay. It catches your reader's interest, provides
needed background, and sets the tone for your essay. In literature essays, the author and
title of the text are included. The major thesis sentence goes in this paragraph, often at the
end.
10.
Body: the middle paragraphs of your essay that contain supporting examples (concrete
detail) and arguments (commentary) for your thesis sentences. A short essay has two body
paragraphs. Each paragraph in the body includes a) a topic sentence/body thesis, b)
integrated concrete detail and commentary, and c) a concluding sentence. There are at least
two commentaries for every concrete detail. In its simplest form, each body paragraph
contains eight to eleven sentences arranged in the following way:
sentence 1: topic sentence/body thesis sentence 5: concrete detail
sentence 2: concrete detail
sentence 6: commentary
sentence 3: commentary
sentence 7: commentary
sentence 4: commentary
sentence 8: concluding sentence (commentary)
11.
Conclusion: the last paragraph in your essay. It gives your writing a finished feeling and
answers the "So what?" question your reader may have after reading your essay. It does
not include any concrete detail. It also does not repeat words from your paper, especially
not from your major thesis and introductory paragraph. It should do one or more of the
following:
a) sum up your ideas
d) give a personal statement
b) reflect on what you said in your essay
e) make predictions
c) add commentary on your subject
f) include a universal statement
Extend Yourself: In a lengthy essay of 8 - 10 pages, the conclusion may begin with a brief
summary of all arguments or key points presented. The summary would then be followed
by the final, most powerful statement. This statement may extend the scope of the
argument by looking to the future or to the broader implications of the issue. In a
controversial issue essay, conclude with the heightened appeal for support.
WRITING TERMS
CONCRETE DETAIL
COMMENTARY
stuff from the story
on the surface
stuff from your head
under the surface
paraphrase CD
connotative vocabulary
5
RATIO—CD : CM
quotation CD
the “what?”
facts
examples
illustrations
evidence
support
plot references
paraphrases
citations
quotations
plot summary
what really happens in the story
play-by-play announcer
words with feelings
the “so what?”
the “why?”
the “spin”
analysis
interpretation
a character’s feelings
George feels …
opinion
inference
insight
significance
reasons
How does ___ feel on the inside?
color commentator
English: 1:2+
(in response to literature papers)
history/science/math: 2 +: 1
science/math: 3+:0
personal narrative and persuasive
papers—mostly 2+:1
WRITING WORKSHOP: THE SCHAFFER ESSAY
Now that the writing terms have been defined, let’s turn to learning the steps in writing an
essay. What you find here in this handbook is a condensed version of Jane Schaffer’s
writing program. In your English class, you will receive a step-by-step extensive writing
workshop which will establish the foundation for all of your high school writing
experiences.
As you read and work through the steps in the process, remember that the essay is
developed through a writing process. It begins with thinking and getting your thoughts
down on paper in the pre-writing steps. It ends with the final draft. In between, the
writing process is an act of discovery. As you go through the process, you are actually
discovering what you think and feel about the subject, and you are trying to communicate
that to your reader.
Step One: Pre-Writing
Pre-writing means getting your ideas and concrete details down on paper before you organize
your essay into paragraphs. If you write your main ideas down, you can look back at them
whenever you need to do so.. You can use any of these ways of pre-writing: bubble cluster,
spider diagram, outline, or line clustering. Illustrations of these techniques will follow.
Bubble Cluster—notice what a bubble cluster has in it:
• You start with the subject (#1) which goes in the middle circle.
• From that subject you list three ideas (#2 ideas) which branch off the subject
• Last, you write three phrases (#3 ideas) for each of the #2 ideas.
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7
Spider Diagram—notice that the Spider:
• is just like the Bubble using lines instead of circles
• has the main idea at the top.
• has three lines coming down from the top
• has three examples of concrete detail from the story to support each #2 sentence.
Another Spider Map
model
8
Line Cluster—notice that the Line Cluster:
• is another version of the Bubble and the Spider.
• is a list of random ideas
• is the same as “brainstorming” for ideas.
• needs to be organized into categories.
• may have more ideas than you actually use.
First: Randomly list of ideas about rock concerts
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
drugs--used and sold, easy to do and hard for security to check
violence in the crowd, unless they use metal detectors like at airports
masses of crowds, poorly controlled in a large space
probability of harm
noise from the amplified sound systems many rock bands use
uncontrollable behavior
values of music being played
emphasis on volume rather than musicality
expense of tickets
Second: assign categories to the random list
•
•
•
Drugs
Violence
Value system
Third: label each part according to body
paragraph
Para. 2 - drugs--used and sold, easy to do
Para. 2 - security monitoring difficult
Para. 3 - violence in the crowd, unless they use metal detectors like airports
Para. 3 - masses of crowds, poorly controlled in a large space
Para. 3 - probability of harm
Para. 4 - noise from the amplified sound systems many rock bands use
Para. 2 - uncontrollable behavior
Para. 4 - values of music being played and the whole setting in general
Para. 4 - emphasis on volume rather than musicality
Para. 4 - expense of tickets and the general atmosphere of the event
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Outline—Notice that the Outline is still another way to arrange your ideas:
• Instead of #2 bubbles, you have Roman numerals I, II, III.
• Instead of #3 bubbles, you have A. B, C.
• Like the previous pre-writing activities, it’s a way to “see” what you are thinking.
Subject: Rock concerts are risky
I.
The most serious factor is the availability of drugs.
A. Marijuana and cocaine are used and sold.
B. Drugs cause uncontrollable behavior.
C. Large crowds make security monitoring difficult.
II.
There is a chance of violent behavior.
A. There is a boisterous crowd mentality.
B. Violence occurs unless they use metal detectors.
C. There is a strong probability of harm from thrown objects.
III.
There are unwholesome values.
A. Ticket prices are expensive.
B. There is an anti-authority, wild environment.
C. “Music” becomes “noise” rather than music
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Now that you have become familiar with the pre-writing clusters or outlines for the “Rock
Concert” essay, read the five-paragraph essay below and see how the pre-write strategies helped
to form an organized essay.
ROCK CONCERT (Schaffer Model)
Drugs, violence, and unwholesome values--all these characterize rock concerts. Given the
likelihood that these problems will surface at any modern rock concert, parents are well advised
not to let their children attend any. The risks are just too great.
The most serious factor is the availability of drugs. It is common knowledge that people
bring various drugs with them--marijuana to smoke and cocaine to use, just to mention two
possibilities. These concert-goers know that with large crowds, security guards will find it
difficult, if not impossible, monitor drug use. When people are asked why they bring drugs, they
often answer that the music sounds better that way. Furthermore, non-drug users often say they
do not want to be around it but that they have no choice at a concert. They cannot avoid it
because it is so pervasive. In the end, they may decide not to attend at all rather than to have to
confront the presence of drugs. Given all these problems--use, limited monitoring, and lack of
consideration towards others--drugs are a deterrent to many people who might want to attend.
Nearly as important as drugs is the chance of violent behavior. This may start with the
crowd as the tempo of music increases and spirits become boisterous. There is a crowd
mentality that encourages many to behave differently than they would elsewhere. They are
tempted and encouraged to jump around, run to the stage, and behave wildly. The actions of the
band itself on stage may actually goad people on. If a musician throws objects from the stage or
pushes another band member, some people in the audience may feel they can, too. When the
leaders of the events engage in this, others may join in. Even without the presence of drugs, the
risk of harm from violence is a real one.
The most subtle influence at rock concerts is the value system they promote. Emphasis is
often on volume rather than musicality. Tickets are also expensive, but even when they are $l00
apiece, teenagers do not hesitate to pay. Many have enough discretionary income these days
that they can afford it. In addition, such events encourage an anti-authority wildness. People
who usually behave normally and follow society’s rules become a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde
personality. They act in ways they would not normally consider and disregard the consequences
of their actions. Such events go against everything parents wish for their children.
It is sad that rock concerts have become such
unsavory places to attend. We look fondly back at concerts
by Frank Sinatra and Four Seasons and yearn for modern
concerts that return to the old values. When they do,
parents can rest easy about their children attending; but
until then , the wisest decision is to say no.
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Pre-writing: The Formal Outline
For short essays, organizing ideas with bubble clusters, spider diagrams, short outlines, or line
clusters, may be all that a writer needs to do. When the writer must create a longer, more formal
paper, a more formal outline may also be required. A formal outline is really just a list that has
been carefully organized and structured in an accepted pattern. Formal outlines usually organize
the body paragraphs of a formal writing, such as a research paper. The writer begins by writing
out the thesis statement (major thesis). Next, each main idea indicated in the thesis idea is listed.
These main ideas are indicated by Roman numerals. Supporting ideas are given for the main
ideas, and they are indicated by capital letters. Significant illustrations and details of these
supporting ideas are listed under each supporting idea (subtopic) and are indicated by Arabic
numerals. The outline structure looks something like this:
Sample Outline
I.
____________________________________________
A. ____________________________________________
1. ____________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________
II.
____________________________________________
A. ____________________________________________
B. ____________________________________________
1. ____________________________________________
a. ____________________________________________
b. ____________________________________________
2. ____________________________________________
Some rules apply to the outline:
1. Each of the main divisions (identified by Roman numerals) is parallel in structure with the
other main divisions.
2. The next level of division (identified by capital letters and representing a subtopic of the
paragraph) is parallel in structure with other subtopics in the same section.
3. All words that begin listings in each section of the outline should begin with capital letters.
4. For short papers, the conclusion is not part of the outline.
In writing a formal outline you have a choice between topics and sentences. Here is the
difference: “Lincoln’s trip down the Mississippi” is a topic; but “Lincoln gained a new view of
America on his trip down the Mississippi” is a sentence. Formal outlines need to be all topics or
all sentences. Parallel structure simply means that you never mix the styles.
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Step Two: Thesis Statement
After you finish pre-writing, begin writing your major sentences. You use the subject of your
pre-writing as the subject for your major thesis. What is a major thesis? The major thesis,
often referred to as the thesis statement, is a one-sentence statement expressing the overall:
1. main idea,
2. your opinion and
3. key points to be proved.
Formulating the thesis statement is often the most challenging aspect of writing an essay. Try
following the steps below:
1. What is the central idea? ____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
2. The main ideas of my outline are:
I. _____________________________________________________________________
II. _____________________________________________________________________
III. ____________________________________________________________________
3. The most important thing to know about my topic is ______________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Now, using the approaches listed below, draft two alternative thesis statements. Use approaches
that work logically with your topic. Consider the following:
• Claim to have discovered information about which readers know little
• Point out a cause-and-effect relationship
• Draw a historical (or other) parallel
• Assert a conclusion (which you will justify in the body of your paper)
• Offer an evaluation of literature coupled with critical interpretation of novel elements
• compare theme in two or three literary works showing author’s use of plot, symbolism,
characterization, point of view, tone, literary devices, allegory, irony and/or style.
Thesis statement #1: __________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Thesis statement #2: __________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Also consider varying the sentence structure (i.e., D + I + D instead of I +I + D).
After writing the major thesis, use the #2 ideas found in your pre-writing to create the topic
sentence/body thesis sentences. You need to write one topic sentence/body thesis for each body
paragraph of the essay. It is in these topic sentence/body thesis sentences that you will provide
the evidence that shows that rock concerts are risky. Here are some topic sentence/body thesis
sentences from the pre-writing clusters shown:
The most serious factor is the availability of drugs.
There is a chance of violent behavior.
There are unwholesome values.
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Step Three: Shaping the Essay
Once you have your major thesis and topic sentence/body thesis sentences laid out, you should
fill in and shape the essay. In this step you will add the concrete detail (the #3 bubbles) from
your pre-writing. Also, you will begin to add commentary and transitions. Since what you
say in the body paragraphs determines how effective your essay is, these paragraphs will be
shaped and re-shaped as you decide how to present the supporting evidence to prove your major
thesis. Keep your pre-writing handy in order to stay focused.
ESSAY SHAPING
Paragraph 1: Intro/Thesis: ______________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Body paragraphs follow this format:
Sentence #1: topic sentence/body thesis
Sentence #2: one sentence of concrete detail
Sentence #3: commentary about sent#2
Sentence #4: additional comm. about sent#2
Sentence #5: another sentence of concrete detail
Sentence #6: commentary about sentence#5
Sentence #7: additional commentary about sent#5
Sentence #8: concluding sentence, all commentary
Paragraph 2: (see above formula)
#1 (topic sentence/body thesis): _______________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#2 (cd): __________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#3 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#4 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#5 (cd): __________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#6 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#7 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
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#8 (conclusion, all comm): ___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 3:
#1 (topic sentence/body thesis): _______________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#2 (cd): __________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#3 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#4 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#5 (cd): __________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#6 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#7 (comm): _______________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
#8 (conclusion, all comm): ___________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 4 (conclusion) first sentence of concluding paragraph: ________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________________________
SAMPLE OF ESSAY SHAPING:
Paragraph 1 (Thesis): My favorite season of the year is summer
Paragraph 2:
#1 (topic sentence/body thesis): My daily routine changes for the better.
#2 (cd): time to sleep in, stay up late
#3 (comm): no emotional or physical demands
#4 (comm): recharge my energies for a while
#5 (cd): can watch TV or read
#6 (comm): do things I wouldn’t normally do that would seem wasteful
#7 (comm): they seem ok in the summer; relaxing
#8 (conclusion, all comm): feels like a great stretch of uncommitted time waiting for me to decide what to do
Paragraph 3:
#1 (topic sentence/body thesis): I especially like the different activities I do during the summer.
#2 (cd): go on vacation
#3 (comm): enjoy the time away
#4 (comm): have some variety in my daily life
#5 (cd): see relatives in Los Angeles
#6 (comm): miss seeing them during the year
#7 (comm): hear about all the family news and activities
#8 (conclusion, all comm): nice to travel as a family and have family reunions with others
Paragraph 4 (first sentence--topic sentence/body thesis): After the pressures of a year of teaching, the thought of
having time to rest and prepare for the next year is a comforting one.
CONCRETE DETAIL AND COMMENTARY
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1. Commentary means your personal opinion, response, reaction or reflection about a concrete
detail (CD) you are discussing in an essay. When you write commentary, you are “commenting
on” a point you have made. Synonyms for commentary include “analysis,” “discussion,”
“insight,” and evaluation.”
2. Focus: In order to write a paragraph that hangs together well, your commentary must echo
the focus in your thesis statement. If your commentary does not refer to the focus, your
paragraph probably will not sound coherent, and you will have to rewrite it.
3. Originality and Creativity: Commentary is a difficult skill to master because all the personal
opinions and reactions must come from you. Your teacher will not supply the information that
you will need to write commentary. It is up to you to devise some original, individual statements
to make regarding your details and examples.
4. Example: To show you some beginning examples of commentary, here is a paragraph that
describes an experience:
1
Driving in the fog to Sacramento was a frightening experience. 2 No signs were visible from the
freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. 3 In
additional, here it was 12 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the sign just 100 fee away.
4
To make matters worse, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and drove at forty miles per hour for the
next 30 minutes. 5 When Sacramento finally appeared in front of me, a great sense of relief permeated
my body and mind.
Except for the thesis and conclusion, this paragraph does not contain commentary. The
middle sentences are all concrete details that could easily be drawn in pictures. The rewritten
paragraph below contains points of commentary which have been inserted in the original
paragraph before or after each sentence that they belong to. The commentary is underlined.
1
Driving in the fog to Sacramento was a frightening experience. 2 No signs were visible from the
freeway, so I couldn’t see if there were any gas stations nearby to fill my near-empty tank. I panicked at
the thought of being stranded alone in a strange place. I couldn’t decide whether to pull off and start
hunting or keep on driving, hoping to see a station materialize out of the fog. 3 In additional, here it was
12 noon, and the fog was so thick that I couldn’t read the sign just 100 fee away. I realized I had driven
on for hours, dreading the never-ending blurring lines on the horizon. I had been expecting the sun to
break through, but to no avail. 4 To make matters worse, a police car suddenly appeared ahead and
drove at forty miles per hour for the next 30 minutes. It was as though an invisible force field had been
thrown up behind the patrol car. The unusual sight of the car without flashing lights kept people from
passing him along the way. 5 When Sacramento finally appeared in front of me, a great sense of relief
permeated my body and mind.
NOTE:
• Each CD had two points of commentary (The magic ratio to remember: 1CD + 2Comm)
• You may have noticed that in this paragraph the details came first, and the commentary came
afterward. This order is optional; you may write commentary-example-commentary, or
commentary-commentary-example, or (as shown in the paragraph) example-commentarycommentary. You may vary the combinations within a paragraph or essay. “Weaving” a
balance of concrete details and commentary will come naturally after you initially pay close
attention to the 1CD + 2Comm formula.
COMMENTARY EXAMPLES
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Here is another example of a paragraph without commentary: (Note: This paragraph is taken
from a 3rd person expository essay as compared to the 1st person fog narrative)
Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by public officials because of their violence
and themes. Critics complain about coyotes jumping off cliffs, of dogs and cats blackening
each other’s eyes, and Martians spying on Earth and making plans to destroy it. These same
animals battle over birds, carrots, or the right to a hole in the ground. Finally, when the
fights are over, the most violent person often gets food, toys, or candy as a reward. Children’s
programming needs to be changed to avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who
watch them every week.
This is the same paragraph with commentary added:
Saturday morning cartoons are often criticized by public officials because of their violence
and themes. Critics complain about coyotes jumping off cliffs, of dogs and cats blackening
each other’s eyes, and Martians spying on Earth and making plans to destroy it. This violence
may be realistic, but there is no accompanying realistic blood, pain, or mutilation. These
scenes emphasize destruction and winning through physical harm to others. These same
animals battle over birds, carrots, or the right to a hole in the ground. The theme of these
actions--greed and selfishness--is not appropriate for young children. The wrong values are
encouraged and children do not see any examples of peaceful resolution to problems. Finally,
when the fights are over, the most violent person often gets food, toys, or candy as a reward.
The idea that showing greed or inflicting pain is rewarded in any way, large or small, is a
subtly distasteful message. If children see this behavior being successful on television, they
have no reason not to try it themselves. Children’s programming needs to be changed to
avoid the messages that do nothing but harm those who watch them every week.
To practice commentary, you will complete a four-sentence unit (one chunk) of writing. This
functions like part of a body paragraph. The sequence is as follows:
Sentence #1: topic sentence/body thesis
Sentence #2: one sentence of concrete detail
Sentence #3: one sentence of commentary about sentence #2
Sentence #4: another sentence of commentary about sentence #2
Here is a sample to use as a model:
1
I hate shopping for Christmas. 2The lines always have five or six people waiting for one
cashier. 3It takes forever to pay for something. 4By the time I’ve done that, I’m too tired to
stay any longer.
Commentary Practice: The topic sentence/body thesis is given below. Then add sentences 2, 3
& 4 according to the formula for “one chunk.”
1
The walls in this classroom are ____________________ and _______________________.
__________________________________________________________________________
3
__________________________________________________________________________
4
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
2
COMMENTARY PROBLEMS
1. Commentary drifts:
18
I like camping more than anything. The air is clean and clear. It feels good to breathe it
after the smog of El Cajon. I wonder if the Native Americans appreciated the clean air they
had.
2. Commentary is really concrete detail:
I like camping more than anything. The air is clean and clear. There isn’t any smog up in
the mountains. There isn’t the usual brown haze in the sky that I see most days.
3. Commentary repeats from the thesis:
Football is a fun sport. We get to play in front of lots of people. It’s fun to do that. I like to
play in front of a crowd a lot.
4. Commentary is generic:
Camping is the best vacation. The air is nice to breathe because it’s so clean and clear. It
sure is good being there. I like it a lot.
Revised version:
Camping is the best vacation. The air is clean and clear to breathe. It somehow feels
lighter than city air and makes my lungs feel better. I like having the chance to be in a
healthier place for a little while.
5. Commentary contradicts the thesis:
Camping is wonderful. I like the fresh air the most. I hated the bits I got there. In addition,
my family argued the whole weekend.
19
INTRODUCTIONS
Two purposes: (1) catch the reader’s attention (2) include your thesis
Ways of writing introductions include:
• write all commentary, end with major thesis
• start with an anecdote--a very short story
• start with a startling bit of information or a startling fact
• start with dialogue (two characters speaking to each other)
• start with a quotation ("To be or not to be…")
• start with a universal idea (People will do what they feel is necessary to protect their lives.)
• start with a rhetorical question (Do people really want to know the truth all the time?)
• start with an analogy (Lies are like brushfires: they spread quickly, and you can't control them.)
• do any of these:
poem
background (author, etc.)
definition
historical insight or example
simile or metaphor comparison/contrast
cause/effect
generalization/stereotype
The introduction should win the reader's attention and establish the importance of the issue. The
thesis sentence should be clearly defined. If the essay is a controversial issue, there should be a
direct statement of the case; the claim must be clear, and appropriately qualified. The division of
proofs outlines how the writer will present evidence to prove the claim.
The student sample below is an excellent example of an introduction that hooks the reader with
the opening sentence and then leads up to the major thesis which is an overview of the essay.
What if animals could talk and cause a revolution to spring up from the fiery depths of
hatred? This is the setting of an amazing novel by the author George Orwell. Animal Farm
tells the tale of the Manor Farm where animals conquered the humans and created a society
where, “All animals are equal.” However, they became corrupt in the race for money and
power. A combination of believable and interesting characters, memorable themes, and
powerful symbolism helped to compose a novel that was captivating, fascinating, and
intriguing.
ANECDOTE: a story that will interest your reader and lead to the point you want to make.
Here is a sample:
In a home with four boys and two working parents, tensions and anxieties tend to rise
at alarming rates. Especially in my family, the never-ending questions of “Who ate the last
bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios?”, “Who wiped the toothpaste on the counter?”, and “Who put
my new sweater in the dryer?” are always among the most nerve-wracking. Consequently,
like any other group of normal human beings, we find ways to relieve the everyday stress:
War!
This introduction satisfies both requirements: it catches the reader’s attention, and it includes the
writer’s thesis about how his family gets along with each other.
20
DIALOGUE: relate a conversation that will interest your reader and lead to the point you want
to make. Here is a sample (note that you indent each time another person speaks):
“Like, oh my gosh--He’s like sooo cute!”
“Oooh, let’s kick some sand on him by accident or something.”
These are familiar sounds of a typical conversation by a couple of girls at the beach in
search of some “friends.” The art of scamming on the boardwalk is one mastered by more
girls and is a much more popular pastime than swimming in a salty, freezing, seaweedy
ocean.
“Swim at the beach? You’ve got to be kidding! Do you know what salt water does to a
perm, much less to my new two-piece? It says right on the tag, ‘Dry clean only.’”
STARTLING INFORMATION: This kind of “hook” will get reader’s attention and lead to
the point your are going to make. Here is a sample:
“It’s alive!” This 70-something-acre piece of land that used to be a boring, hilly dirt
and grass pile has come to life with lively young bodies and staff members who will change
the community for the better. We’ve waited a long time for Moorpark High School to open,
and now we’re off and running to a wonderful future.
ALL COMMENTARY: Just talk about your subject in a natural way as if you were discussing
it with your best friend. He is a sample:
It has been many years since my family had the privilege of becoming yet another
divorce-stricken statistic. I cannot even begin to recover any of the broad details lost in the
nooks and crannies of my mind that concern life with my father. Save the infrequent
Christmas visits, he was an alien to me--not quite an intruder in my life, but more like an
intermittent visitor. Then, six years ago, when I was ten, the annual “reunions” ended. Over
a third of my life had passed before I saw him again at a time when I could finally understand
who this stranger really was.
CONCLUSIONS
The conclusion is the last paragraph in your essay. It gives your writing a finished feeling and
answers the "So what?" question your reader may have after reading your essay. It does not
include any concrete detail. It also does not repeat words from your paper, especially not from
your major thesis and introductory paragraph. It should do any of the following:
a) sum up your ideas
d) give a personal statement about the subject
b) make predictions
e) reflect on what you said in your essay
c) include a universal statement
f) say some more commentary about your subject
The student sample below was selected to show you how to write a model conclusion.
A Day No Pigs Would Die was a tremendous piece of literature, the best that has been read
in class this year. Through the realistic characters, descriptive writing style, and the rite of
passage in the story, the reader really gets a feel for the messages the author tries to convey and
the feelings and emotions of the time. It helps in understanding the time and place and allows
the reader to learn about history while being entertained. This is a very valuable piece of
literature which should be read every year.
REVIEW
21
The two pages that follow will review what has heretofore been presented. Examples and
supplementary information will be helpful in reinforcing the Writer’s Workshop concepts and
terminology.
Thesis Statement
• The thesis statement is often the last sentence in your introduction
• Says what your essay is going to be about
• Includes topic, opinion and examples
• Must be proved effectively throughout your essay
Introduction Paragraph
st
• 1 paragraph of the essay
• Includes a clear thesis statement
• Should have a hook, attention grabber, or some universal statement about the topic
• Should also include some background to set up the reader for the thesis
Sample Introduction
Joe Larson
Period 3
September 23, 2003
Mrs. Blomquist
Literary Analysis Essay: “The Cold Equations”
Writers of short stories use carefully chosen techniques to captivate their readers and
transport those readers into another world. Tom Godwin takes his readers to a futuristic world
where the fate of a character lies more in the hands of nature than in those of humans. In “The
Cold Equations” Tom Godwin uses conflict, symbolism and irony to communicate that the laws
of nature are unchangeable and cannot be controlled by humans.
Body Paragraphs
• Eight sentences: two chunks
• Each paragraph should be at least 100 words long
• Body thesis should mention which topic is being dealt with in that particular paragraph
• CDs should be integrated quotes
• CMs should be thorough and should show how CDs prove thesis
Integrating Quotations
• Give a little background for your quote:
While he lived with his daughter, Mr. Carpenter realized that “all he had to do was look
as busy as possible in a chair without rockers” (314).
• Explain what’s going on around your quote
• Remember that quotes that you pick do not have to be in quotation marks.
Sample first chunk (4-sentence unit)
22
Conflict is the basis of the theme in “The Cold Equations” because of the futility of the
internal conflict, man v. self, and the desperation in the external conflict, man v. nature. When
the main character realizes that he has no choice but to jettison the girl, he dreaded that he would
“only have the memories to remind him; only the nights of fear, when a blue-eyed girl in gypsy
sandals would come into his dreams to die again” (22). It does not matter how much the main
character wants to save the girl because the laws of nature have decided that she cannot be on the
ship. His internal conflict is futile because he does not really have a decision to make; his
decision is either to allow one to die or hundreds to die.
Conclusion
• The final paragraph
• Do not repeat key words, but repeat key ideas in new ways
• Bring closure to the essay
• Add universal statements, allude to themes and include final thoughts
Sample Conclusion
When man and nature compete, nature has the advantage. Tom Godwin carefully chose to
set the story in space to illustrate how dependant man is on nature. He effectively used conflict,
irony and symbolism to capture the reader’s interest and reveal the truth that there are some
things in the universe that man simply cannot control.
Commentary and Concrete Detail: First of all: you must have read the story or stories carefully
to ensure that the information you are using is relevant.
Good Concrete Details:
•
Quotations are well integrated and support your commentary.
•
Information is on the topic of your thesis and topic sentences/body theses. If you are
writing about how the symbolism in a story reveals the theme, your CDs must have
something to do with symbolism in the story and allude to the overall theme.
•
With your lead-ins, be sure to explain what is going on with your quote. What happened
before? Who is involved? When is this happening? This helps your reader to understand
why you chose the quote you chose.
Good Commentary:
•
Is your opinion, interpretation, insight, analysis, explication, reaction, feelings, evaluation
or reflection about the topic?
•
Does it explain your quote? Why is it important? What does it reveal about the character,
theme, tone, etc?
•
Does it help prove your thesis and your body theses.
•
Be sure it does NOT include words like: I, me, we, us, would, should, could, may, or
might. These words sound preachy or make assumptions that are not there.
ESSAY EVALUATION
23
Read the four-paragraph essay below. Due to the lack of both commentary and concrete details,
along with a weak thesis statement, you will find yourself asking many questions. After a quick
read through, look closely at each paragraph and fill in the blanks below with clarification
questions that you would ask the reader if you could.
ROMEO AND JULIET
Juliet is only 14, but by meeting Romeo, she virtually becomes an adult. Her attitude
changes dramatically as does her outward appearance.
Through the start of Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet Juliet is constantly being
pressured by others to get married and find the right person for herself. She doesn’t
know what to do about the unwanted pressure because she hasn’t really found the right
man and she doesn’t want to be forced into anything.
When she meets Romeo, her attitude shifts toward him. She can never stop thinking
of him. This change brought about happiness, because her search for him had ended, yet
it also brought about misfortune, because it was apparent that there would be trouble
with them being in different families. Juliet eventually becomes so obsessed with his
presence, that she is willing to do anything to stay with him, even kill herself. This was
the very sad part of her change. She was unable to control it, and her love for Romeo
backfired.
Juliet’s change was an important one. It gave Romeo and Juliet, happiness, theme,
and tragedy.
ROMEO AND JULIET
Juliet is only 14, but by meeting Romeo, she virtually becomes an adult. Her attitude changes
dramatically as does her outward appearance.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Through the start of Shakespeare’s play Romeo and Juliet Juliet is constantly being pressured by
others to get married and find the right person for herself. She doesn’t know what to do about
the unwanted pressure because she hasn’t really found the right man and she doesn’t want to be
forced into anything.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
When she meets Romeo, her attitude shifts toward him. She can never stop thinking of him. This
change brought about happiness, because her search for him had ended, yet it also brought
about misfortune, because it was apparent that there would be trouble with them being in
different families. Juliet eventually becomes so obsessed with his presence, that she is willing to
do anything to stay with him, even kill herself. This was the very sad part of her change. She
was unable to control it, and her love for Romeo backfired.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
24
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Juliet’s change was an important one. It gave Romeo and Juliet, happiness, theme, and tragedy.
_______________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_____________________________________________
_______________________________________________
_____________________________________________
STYLE OF THE ESSAY
DICTION
According to Jane Schaffer, the words diction, language, and figurative language are terms that
you will use interchangeably when you create your own style or analyze another’s style. These
words refer to an author’s word choice.
Word choice is probably the most powerful element of style for you to understand. Many words
in our language have strong connotations and denotations, and writers learn to use them on
purpose to elicit certain responses from the reader.
The word denotation means the literal, dictionary definition of a word.
Example: home - place where one lives
childish - characteristic of a child
The word connotation means the implied or suggested meaning attached to a word, or the
emotional “tag” that goes along with a word. Connotation gives you overtones of meaning and
expression and suggests beyond what it means.
Example: home - security, love, comfort, family
childish - pettiness, willfulness, temper tantrums
Here is an example of a sentence with strong connotative diction:
The girl surveyed the class, congratulating herself for snatching the highest grade on the
test.
The two words that are important here are surveyed and snatching. They are the words with the
strongest connotations. You will notice that the word surveyed conveys the idea of someone
looking around as if she were a queen looking at lowly subjects. Also you may think that the girl
sees herself on a kind of Mt. Olympus, sitting with other gods and looking down on lesser
mortals. What sort of commentary can you give for the other strong connotative word,
snatching?
DICTION PRACTICE
DENOTATION: literal meanings
Walk: to move on foot from one
place to another
CONNOTATION: emotional “tags”
Stroll: to walk in a slow, leisurely,
wandering manner
25
EXERCISE A: In each case below, you are given words in parentheses that have the same
denotation but different connotations. Underline the item in parentheses that best fits the
meaning of the sentence.
Example: These shoes look really (inexpensive, cheap), so I wouldn’t buy them if I were you.
1. Those clothes are too (fashionable, faddish) for my taste.
2. Mark has a really sweet, (childish, childlike) manner about him. He’s so open and honest and
straightforward.
3. I think that Senator Sneed’s views are just too (radical, progressive).
4. Ms. Perez is a respected and (commanding, domineering) figure.
5. Hershel has a great amount of (conceit, self-confidence) which gives him an air of authority.
EXERCISE B: Decide whether each word or phrase below has a positive or
negative connotation. On the line provided, write P for positive or N for negative.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
investigate
compliments
outdated
used
frugal
LOADED WORDS: words that
carry strong, emotional messages.
_______
_______
_______
_______
_______
pry into
flattery
traditional
tried and true
economical
EUPHEMISMS: aggreeable terms that are
used in place of ones that might be offensive.
EXERCISE A: Write the meanings of the following euphemisms:
1.
3.
5.
7.
dearly departed
interment
underprivileged
dentures
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
2.
4.
6.
8.
Custodial Engineer
under the weather
house of correction
Senior Citizen
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
EXERCISE B: The following is part of the trial testimony of a bank security guard. Underline
the loaded words and phrases in the paragraph. Then, discuss with your classmates how the same
events might be described using words that do not have negative associations.
On Tuesday morning, I spotted the suspect loitering suspiciously in front of the bank,
which was not yet open. He was pacing up and down in front of the place, with his hands
in his pockets, and glancing around nervously. When the bank opened, he sneaked in with
some other customers and looked around as if he were casing the joint. Finally, acting
totally innocent, he walked up to one of the tellers and said, to cover himself, “I’m thinking
of starting a savings account. What interest rate are you now paying?” Savings account.
Right. That very night the bank was robbed.
When you are deciding on your own diction, or word choice, think about the response you wish
to achieve. The diction you use will help to give your reader an idea about the tone or feeling of
your writing. Writers INC states, “Diction is an author’s choice of wrds based on their
correctness, clearness, or effectiveness” (153). It goes on to say that the writer must choose “TShirt or Tuxedo” diction based on the audience and the appropriate level of formality. Writers
INC defines the specific types of diction as indicated below:
26
Archaic words are those that are old-fashioned and no longer sound natural when used, such as
“I believe thee not” for “I don’t believe you.”
Colloquialism is an expression that is usually accepted in informal writing or speaking but not in
a formal situation, as in “Hey, man, what’s happenin’?”
Jargon (technical diction) is the specialized language used by a specific group as with those who
use computers: override, interface, download.
Profanity is the language which shows disrespect for someone or something which is regarded
as holy or sacred.
Trite expressions are those which lack depth or originality, or are overworked or not worth
mentioning in the first place.
Vulgarity is the language which is generally considered common, crude, gross, and at times
offensive.
Dialect is a local or provincial form of language. Below is the beginning of an epilogue essay
that illustrates the importance of diction in creating style. The student writer also used a rural
dialect (local slang) to imitate the style of Robert Peck from A Day No Pigs Would Die.
Well, the day after the funeral was kinda uneventful. Aunt Carrie and Aunt Matty
and Aunt Farrah and about a hundred other aunts I didn’t even know I had, as well as
half the population of Learning, were in the kitchen with Mama, giving her support. I
peeked once in the window to see what kinda stuff womenfolk did after a funeral, but
they didn’t do nothing special. They just kinda talked and laughed and cooked and
such. Funny, but I never once saw any of them cry.
Being a man, I didn’t get no such support. In fact, I was banished from the
kitchen altogether. It didn’t matter much, since I had no time for talking. I had work
to do, like usual. Only difference now being
I now had twice the normal work to do.
In fact, I was doing work when the
man found me. I’d been milking Bessie,
being careful not to spill even a drop of the
fresh, foaming liquid. Carelessness was a
frill that me and Mama just couldn’t afford.
27
STRUCTURE
Although the Jane Schaffer essay model may seem somewhat limiting, the more you practice it,
the less conscious of it you and your reader will be. It is best to never make your reader aware of
the structure by directly referring to it. For example, do not include statements in your
introduction, such as “The purpose of this paper is to . . .” or “The approach I am taking is. . .”
It is best not to begin paragraphs in the body of your paper with phrases such as “First of all,”
“Secondly,” and “Thirdly.” It is better to use transitional phrases such as: furthermore,
moreover, etc. as they sound more natural. Transitions are so important that we have included a
list of useful transitions along with the appropriate purposes for each.
When you write your conclusion, do not begin with phrases such as “In conclusion” or “In
summary.” Also do not repeat the thesis that you wrote in the introduction. Be sure to vary your
sentenced structure and your word choice in order to make your essay flow naturally and
smoothly.
One way to make your essay flow smoothly is the placement of transitions. Transitional words
or phrases are usually placed close to the beginning of each paragraph. Often the transitional
word or phrase links directly back to the end of the preceding paragraph. A diagram that
illustrates this concept of linking the paragraphs together is shown below.
28
TRANSITIONS
The following list of transitions is from Writers INC , page 52 published in 1992 by the Write
Source Educational Publishing House.
29
This wraps up the WRITER’S WORKSHOP instruction of how to
construct the traditional essay. Let’s review the basics by taking a look
at the features we’ve discussed in the sample essay below:
30
POST WRITING: CLEANING UP THE ERRORS
I. GRAMMAR/MECHANICS--note the codes that you'll find on your essays:
Usage Errors:
Syntax/Sentence Structure Errors:
A = Agreement of subject/verb; noun/pronoun
D = Diction--word choice (their/there/they're)
P = Punctuation errors
Sp = Spelling errors
Awk = Awkward; needs to be rewritten
CS = Comma Splice-2 sentences joined by a comma
F = Fragment (cannot stand alone)
RO = Run on: two or more sentences run together
Sentence structure errors--study the following guidelines and then do the exercises:
An independent clause can stand by itself as a sentence.
SIMPLE SENTENCE
Example: We went to a movie last night.
A dependent clause is a group of words that has a subject and a predicate but cannot stand
by itself as a complete sentence because it does not express a complete thought.
Examples: When we asked for one
Because the store had no white paint.
Common words which introduce a dependent clause:
if after
that although
as even though
before
since
in order that so that
as soon as
wherever
until
when
unless
even if
while
because
whenever
though
as though
When you combine dependent clauses with independent clauses, you form complete
sentences.
INDEPENDENT + DEPENDENT (no comma)
ex. Mrs. Dimas gave us a ride home when we asked for one.
DEPENDENT + INDEPENDENT (comma)
ex. Because the store had no white paint, Ivy bought green paint.
COMPLEX
SENTENCES
Two independent clauses can be combined in a compound sentence with a comma and a
conjunction:
ex. We were going to a movie last night, but
the car wouldn't start.
COMPOUND
SENTENCE
OR
Use a semicolon between closely related independent clauses not
joined by a coordinating conjunction
ex. Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice.
COMPOUND
SENTENCE
EXERCISES: Correct the following sentence structure errors taken from actual student essays.
31
1. FRAGMENTS (the underlined portion indicates the fragment.):
SAMPLE CORRECTIONS:
Ex.#1: "I admit she was greatly spoiled, and she wants to have attention. The only attention,
in fact."
Correction: I admit she was greatly spoiled, and she wants to have attention--the only attention, in fact.
Ex.#2: "She is as tough as any dog twice her size. Even though she is a prize show dog."
Correction: She is as tough as any dog twice her size even though she is a prize show dog.
**Fix the following: (notice that the first “sentence" is made up of two dependent clauses.)
"If the earthquake would have been a little later in the day because a lot of people were off."
"I had tears in my eyes now and was sad. Sad for everything."
2. COMMA SPLICES (two complete sentences joined by a comma):
"In high school it is much harder, you really have to give a lot of effort to stay on top of it."
3. RUN-ONS (two or more sentences run together without adequate punctuation)
"It was hot in my room since it was summer and we didn't have air conditioning it felt like the
fire was right outside my door so I dropped to the floor and grabbed a chair."
II. COMMON PUNCTUATION ERRORS
Basic Comma Rules
1. Use commas between items in a SERIES:
• Bring your notebook, pen, and textbook to class every day.
• You can remove the cover, adjust the drive belt, and replace the cover with just one
tool.
• We cannot decide what information we will store, how we will retrieve it, or how it will
be used.
2.
Use commas after INTRODUCTORY material, such as a phrase or a dependent clause:
• Looking up in the sky, I saw a man who was flying faster than a speeding bullet.
• Although I have a black belt in karate, I decided to go easy on the bully who hit me.
• In addition, he held a broom in his hand.
3.
Use commas in COORDINATE situations (between two complete thoughts connected by
and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet and between introductory material which follows a semicolon):
• You must set the dial, and the ready light must be visible.
• Carrie finished her science project for the contest, yet she failed to submit it on time.
• She likes dairy products; nevertheless, she won’t eat yogurt.
Use a comma to set off direct QUOTATIONS from the rest of the sentence:
• He used his boss’s expression, “No pain, no gain,” until I got sick of it.
4.
32
5.
Use a comma to set off elements that interrupt the sentence or are not essential to the
meaning of the sentence.
(a) Use commas to set off appositives and appositive phrases
An appositive is a noun or pronoun that follows another noun or pronoun to identify or
explain it. An appositive phrase consists of an appositive and its modifiers.
EXAMPLES:
Young at Heart, a toy store, has some part-time openings.
Both of them, he and his brother, helped me fix my ten-speed.
Sometimes an appositive is so closely related to the word preceding it that it should not
be set off by commas. Such an appositive is called a restrictive appositive.
EXAMPLES:
Howie’s cat Arnie ate all of its supper.
My partner Linda did most of the work.
(b) Use commas to set off words used in direct address.
EXAMPLES:
Jan, have you seen my gloves?
Your car, Joe, has the largest bumpers I’ve ever seen.
Is there no end to your surprises, Donna?
(c) Use the comma between descriptive words only if and inserted between the descriptive
words sounds natural.):
EXAMPLE:
Eve bit into the ripe, juicy apple. (Ripe and juicy describe the noun apple. You
could say, “Eve bit into the ripe and juicy apple.)
(d) Use a comma to set off words or PARENTHETICAL expressions that interrupt the
flow of thought in a sentence:
EXAMPLE:
Two hundred dollars, I think, is sufficient.
Note: Do not use commas to set off essential elements of the sentence that contain
information that is necessary to the meaning of the sentence.
The man feeding the pigeons did not notice us.
We hired a lawyer who is named Al Hopkins.
Anyone who solves the puzzle will win a prize.
6.
Use commas in STANDARD places:
DATES: Liz buried her husband on March 4, 1972, and moved away.
ADDRESSES: 100 Central Street, Dayton, Ohio 44112
TITLES: William Jones, Jr., is the only son of William Jones, Ph.D.
7. Use a comma to precede an ending phrase that begins with not, especially, particularly, or
their equivalents:
• Mario likes rock music, not classical music.
The Semicolon
In general, use a semicolon where you would use a period, except for items in a series.
33
1.
Use a semicolon between independent clauses not joined by and, but, or, nor, for, yet.
Ex. Linda left her books in Royce Hall; later she could not find them.
2.
Use a semicolon between independent clauses joined by such words as for example, for
instance, besides, moreover, nevertheless, furthermore, otherwise, therefore, however,
consequently, instead.
Ex. Sean worked hard cleaning the yard; nevertheless, he still had hours of work ahead with
the garage.
3.
Use a semicolon (rather than a comma) to separate independent clauses if commas within
either clause would cause confusion or if either clause with the list already has a comma.
Ex. For lunch she had a burrito, a salad, a Coke, and a brownie; and later that afternoon
she had an ice cream cone.
4.
Use a semicolon between items in a series if the items contain commas.
Ex. The following were elected: Leah Holden, president; Andrew White, vice president;
Nickie Lee, secretary; and Shauna Nicholson, treasurer.
The Colon
1. Use the colon at the end of a complete statement to introduce or draw attention to a list, a
long quotation, or an explanation.
Ex. Consider the words of John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask
what you can do for your country.”
Quotation Marks
When used with quotation marks, other marks of punctuation are placed according to the
following rules: (Elements of Literature, Third Course 794)
1. Commas and periods are always placed inside closing quotations marks.
“I haven’t seen the movie,” remarked Jeannette, “but I understand it’s excellent.”
“He read aloud “Ode to the End of Summer,” a poem by Phyllis McGinley.
2. Semicolons and colons are always placed outside closing quotation marks.
Socrates once said, “As for me, all I know is that I know nothing”; I wonder why everyone
thinks he was such a wise man.
3. Question marks and exclamation point are placed inside the closing quotation marks if
the quotation is a question or an exclamation; otherwise, they are placed outside.
“Is it too cold in here?” the manager asked as I shivered.
“Yes!” I answered. “Please turn down the air conditioner!”
Can you explain the saying “Penny wise, pound foolish”?
It’s not an insult to be called a “bookworm”!
Apostrophes are used
• to indicate that a noun is possessive
• to indicate that an indefinite pronoun is possessive
• to make contractions
• to pluralize numbers
Dashes (When typing, use two hyphens to form a dash (--). Do not put spaces before or after the
dash.)
34
•
•
•
Hyphens
•
•
•
to set off parenthetical material that deserves emphasis
to set off appositives that contain commas
to prepare for a restatement, an amplification, or a dramatic shift in tone or thought
to separate certain compound words
to connect two or more words functioning together as an adjective before a noun
(newspaper-wrapped fish)
Note: In a series, hyphens are suspended (Do you prefer first-, second, or third-class
tickets?)
WRITING DOMAINS
THE PERSUASIVE ESSAY
A persuasive essay is an essay written to convince an audience to think in a certain way or to
take a particular action. A good persuasive essay is like a charming person: It wins readers over
to a particular viewpoint without offending them. To do this, it must present arguments or show
evidence that will sway its audience. Appealing to an audience’s emotions is also an effective
way to persuade. Because different audiences respond to different arguments and varying
emotional appeals, a persuasive essay must build its case forcefully and intelligently for its
particular audience.
Persuasive Essay Guidelines
• begin with a concise statement of opinion on an issue that will interest the audience
• support this opinion with valid evidence and logical arguments (facts, statistics, examples,
reasons, expert opinions) and responsible appeals to emotion (fear, compassion,
love,
ambition, etc.)
• end in a way that prompts readers to change their thinking or to take a certain course of
action
When you plan your argument, consider the following:
Subject Can you make your point by using valid arguments that appeal to logic, and at the same
time appeal responsibly to emotion? For example, effectively mobilizing people to work toward
ending world hunger requires valid arguments that are logically convincing and emotionally
motivating.
Audience Are you addressing scientists who expect to hear hard evidence or an audience that is
apathetic about a serious problem? Try to anticipate opposing arguments
Purpose Do you want readers to see something in a different way, or do you want to motivate
readers to take action? How urgent is your issue? The proportion of reason to emotion should be
tailored to your particular purpose.
35
AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL INCIDENT (Portfolio Assignment)
Prompt: Choose a significant incident from your life that affected how you thought about
something, changed the way you did something, or taught you a lesson. Write in first person
voice and deal honestly with your feelings as you analyze what this event meant to you and why
it is important. Seek to formulate a thesis statement that represents the reasoning behind the
significance of this event. The following is an outline of one way to approach this assignment;
nevertheless, feel free to “do your own thing.”
A. Introductory paragraph
• Hook (quote or reaction to the incident)
• Commentary
• Thesis Statement
B. Support paragraph
• When and where did it happen? (Use vivid descriptions)
• Organize the details chronologically
C. Support paragraph
• Who was there? (use dialogue—recall details as much as
possible)
D. Support paragraph
• What actually happened? (include commentary & link to thesis)
E. Conclusion
• Summarize key points and use commentary to reinforce thesis
• Include universal idea as it applies to the lesson learned
• Clincher—could be a quote or wrap-up sentence
Steps:
1. Begin with a prewrite
2. Write draft #1
3. During the writing process, refer to the adjacent chart as a check-off list of colorful devices
used to make your writing the best it can be. YOU WILL BE EXPECTED TO EMPLOY
FIVE OF THESE TECHNIQUES. Clearly label them.
4. Prior to in-class peer edit, read over your copy and ask yourself the following questions:
a. Does the essay deal with a single incident that occurred during a short period of time?
b. Does the essay have an interesting beginning and a satisfying conclusion?
c. Does the essay clearly establish the context (setting/others involved)?
d. Does the essay contain sensory details and dialogue to enliven the narrative?
e. Does the essay clearly state or show the incident’s significance?
f. Is each paragraph coherent and related to its body thesis?
g. Is there a good balance of concrete details and commentary?
h. Are there any unrelated details that could be eliminated?
i. Did I check each sentence for grammar usage errors?
j. Have I used transitional words and phrases to maintain fluency?
k. Could I raise the level of the vocabulary while still keeping it in my voice?
5. Participate in the peer revision process in an earnest effort to objectively help your peers.
6. Design a hand-drawn or computer-generated cover sheet with an fitting picture or symbol
7. Bring in your final package assembled and ready to turn in with the following: pre-write,
rough draft(s), peer response, final draft, cover sheet, and rubric scoring (on top).
36
COLORFUL
DEVICES
1. Magic 3
2. Figurative
Language
3. Specific
sensory details
for effect
4. Expanded
Moment
5. Repetition
for effect
6. Humor
7. Hyphenated
Modifiers
8. Full-circle
ending
DEFINITION
STUDENT EXAMPLES
Three examples in a series
can create a poetic rhythm or
at least add support for a
point, especially when the
three items have their own
modifiers.
Non-literal comparisons—
such as similes, metaphors,
and personification—add
“spice” to writing and can
help paint a more vivid
picture for the reader.
Instead of general, vague
descriptions, specific sensory
details help the reader
visualize what you are
describing.
“In those woods, I would spend hours LISTENING
to the wind rustle the leaves, CLIMBING trees and
spying on nesting birds, and GIVING the occasional
wild growl to scare away any pink-flowered girls
who might be riding their bikes too close to my
secret entrance.” Todd
“My room was hot, cramped, and stuffy as a train
in the middle of the Sahara. And the looming
skeleton-like gray and white frame of the place
scared me” Teri.
Instead of speeding past a
moment, writers often
emphasize it by expanding
the actions.
Writers often repeat specially
chosen words or phrases to
make a point, to stress certain
ideas.
Professional writers know the
value of laughter; even subtle
humor can help turn a
“boring” paper into one that
can raise one’s spirits.
Sometimes a new way of
saying something can make
all the difference; hyphenated
adjectives often cause the
reader to “sit up and take
notice.”
Sometimes students need a
special ending, one that
effectively “wraps up” the
piece. One “trick” is to
repeat a phrase from the
beginning of the piece.
“I don’t belong in some dumb math class. I belong
on the beach, where I can soak my feet in caressing
water and let the wind wander its way through my
chestnut-colored hair and sip Dr Pepper all day
long. I want to grip a straw all day, not a
mechanical pencil.” Shelly
“Remember the time I worked all day Saturday on
an English paper? Sunday I accidentally left the
only copy I had at your house. You politely handed
it back to me the next day, when it was due. But all
over page one you’d drawn zombies; page two had
detailed pictures of yet-to-be discovered worms;
page three was visited by various space aliens; and
the last page was covered with ‘Mr. Jenkins is a
dork.’ Maybe that’s why he gave me a D-.”Liz
The veranda was my only shelter away from my
sister in bed asleep, away from my brother
screaming in the treehouse, away from my chores
that await me.” Leslie
“Of course, I didn’t look at my shoes when I put
them back on; it was the squish that gave away
John’s prank.” Liz
“She’s got this blonde hair, with dark highlights,
parted in the middle, down past her shoulders, and
straight as a preacher. She’s got big green eyes
that all guys admire and all girls envy, and this I’mso-beautiful-and-I-know-it body, like every other
super model.” Ileana
“Justin, with the green and neon-orange striped
shoelaces, always pulled on my old frazzled white
ones in math.”
“Now Justin still sits behind me in math with his
neon-green and orange striped shoelaces and pulls
on my old white frazzled ones. He still draws
zombies on my homework, but he hasn’t…” Liz
COMPARISON/CONTRAST ESSAY
37
A comparison/contrast essay tells how two things are alike and how they are different. This
technique is used in a variety of ways and in different forms.
Here is a comparison
/contrast graphic organizer
that may be useful when
developing a comparison
and contrast paper. It can
help you do the following:
• Organize
your
thoughts on how two
subjects are alike and
different
• Narrow your topic
for comparison and
contrast
• Collect
information
for writing
•
Elaborate on a topic
for writing
38
CONTROVERSIAL ISSUE ESSAY
•
•
•
Take a stand
Acknowledge opposing arguments
Support your side with evidence
Paragraph #1:
Paragraph #2:
Paragraph #3:
Paragraph #4:
Paragraph #5:
Intro (with thesis)
Opposing arguments
Your side, first major point
Your side, second major point
Concluding paragraph
MY SIDE
THE OTHER SIDE
My thesis (main idea for paragraph #1): ___________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Selected opposing arguments from chart above (overview of paragraph #2): ______________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
My first major point (main idea for paragraph #3): __________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
My second major point (main idea for paragraph #4): ________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
Concluding point (paragraph #5): ________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
39
OBSERVATIONAL ESSAY
The purpose of the Observational essay is to recreate in the reader’s mind exactly what you, the
writer, observed and how you perceived that experience. You may do your writing on the spot,
as in field notes, or later, from notes or memory. You may describe a person, place, or event; an
object, work of art, or animal; or even natural or scientific phenomena. In a successful essay,
you (a) identify the subject of the observation, (b) take a certain observational stance or point of
view, (c) give the reader the context for the observation, and (d) present the actual experience of
seeing.
Like the Autobiographical Incident, your Observational
essay is based on your personal experience.
In
observational writing, however, you are an eyewitness,
not a participant. You use your experience as the single
primary source. Observational Writing is very often the
foundation of a Reflective essay.
REFLECTIVE ESSAY
A Reflective essay is similar to the Autobiographical Incident in that it is based on personal
experience. As a more sophisticated writer, however, you use a personal experience to
generalize about human experience. In a Reflective essay, you do more than just tell a
meaningful personal story; you reflect on what that incident means. You connect your
experience to a general idea related to that experience, test that idea against other experiences,
and finally reveal your newly-discovered truth about life.
INTERPRETATION ESSAY
In an Interpretation essay, you make claims about the meaning of an event, a phenomenon, a
movie, or a work of literature or art, and support these claims. It is much more important for you
to give strong, consistent support to the claims than to worry about whether or not those claims
are correct.
In an Interpretation essay, you first introduce the subject and provide adequate background for
the reader. You carefully present and develop interpretive claims which create the central focus,
or major thesis, of the essay. You argue convincingly for the claims presented, supporting those
claims with evidence from the text, specific quotations, personal experience, paraphrasing, or
related readings. The support for your claims makes up most of the essay.
In interpretive writing, you may do some of the same things you do with other portfolio essays:
you support your claims with specific details from personal experience (as in the
Autobiographical Incident essay); you develop criteria and present evidence (as in the Evaluation
essay); and you connect your immediate response to a universal idea (as in the Reflective essay).
LITERARY ANALYSIS ESSAY
40
When you analyze literature, you take the work apart and look at each element separately. You
think about how each element functions in the work and about how the elements work together to
produce the total effect. Evaluating anything requires judgment about how good or bad, effective
or non-effective, something is. More specifically, depending upon teacher directive, you will be
evaluating how the writer has used plot, character and setting as well as analyzing theme,
symbolism, and various aspects of writing style. Then you’ll evaluate the work as a whole.
Your subjective response to a piece of literature is different from an objective evaluation. It is
based entirely on your own feelings and experiences; you either like or dislike a work, but an
objective evaluation is based on criteria. Your evaluation will be objective, in third person and
based upon the following aspects:
1. CHARACTERS
a) The characters seem real and believable.
b) The major characters are complex—not flat or stereotyped.
c) The characters’ motivations—why they act and speak as they do—are understandable.
2. PLOT
a) The conflict or conflicts are clear.
b) The plot creates suspense—an increasing excitement and interest in the outcome.
c) The work is unified and coherent. Every action contributes to the meaning.
d) The events lead to a final climax—a decisive scene in which a crucial event occurs that
resolves the conflict at last.
e) The resolution is believable and satisfying
f) The work’s subplots support or complement the main plot.
3. THEME
a) The piece conveys an idea/message about life and human nature, or about the writer’s
idea of what the world is like.
b) The selection shows what it is like to experience racism, loneliness, and so on.
c) The work’s message is not trite and stereotyped; it is profound and true.
4. SETTING
a) The setting helps to reveal something about the characters, conflict, or theme.
b) The setting helps to create a mood.
5. STYLE: Author’s use literary devices to convey their message in a variety of ways
a) ambiguity: unclear or doubtful. It allows readers to examine different possibilities.
b) Subtlety: using slight, but significant differences in the meanings of words. For
example, using the word seize instead of grasp conveys an image of boldness.
c) Contradiction: a conflicting statement or portion that is opposed to another aspect of the
story or situation. For example, a good thief, by itself, is a contradictory statement.
d) Incongruity: inconsistencies used to make a point or to develop the characters by
drawing attention to illogical behavior. For example, a character might save for a long
time to buy a new bicycle and then not take proper care of it.
e) Irony: the difference between what exists or occurs and what is believed or expected. It
is used to deliver a humorous message or point out the tragic side of life.
f) Tone: the overall feeling (serious, satiric, etc.) created by a writer’s use of words.
g) Symbolism: an important symbol/representation that adds meaning to the selection.
h) Figures of Speech: Use of metaphors, similes, etc. add color and enhance meaning.
i) Dialogue: Regional dialects and vivid descriptions reveal the character’s individuality.
RESEARCH PAPER
41
Definition of the Research Paper
Generally, a research paper involves your searching for information new to you, then discussing
that information in writing. However, a research paper for your history class may have very
different requirements from a research paper in English. The form of your paper will vary,
depending on your purpose in writing it and your audience. You may be asked to report the
information objectively, or you may be instructed to include your opinions along with the facts
such as a controversial Issue essay which requires supporting your ideas with documented
research. Be sure to clarify with your teacher what approach you should take.
Academic Honesty
Before you begin taking notes and assembling a bibliography, you need to know that plagiarism
is the act of stealing another’s words. Copyright laws protect printed material from plagiarism.
When you borrow someone else’s ideas and restate them as your own, you are plagiarizing.
You are plagiarizing if you do the following:
a) Use someone else’s ideas as your own.
b) Use a slightly changed statement as your own, putting your own words here and there and not
giving credit.
c) Fail to use quotation marks around exact sentences, phrases, or even words that belong to
another person.
d) Use someone else’s examples without giving them credit.
e) Cite facts and statistics that someone else has compiled.
f) Present evidence or testimony taken from someone else’s argument.
g) Exchanging assignments with other students, either handwritten or computer generated,
whether you believe they will be copied or not
h) Using any form of memory aid or assistance during tests or quizzes without the expressed
permission of the instructor; also, it is your responsibility to cover your paper from others.
i) Using summaries/commentaries (Cliffs Notes, Spark Notes, etc.) in lieu of reading the
assigned materials.
j) Reuse your own work created previously for another class representing it as a first-time
assignment.
According to Moorpark High School’s rules, students who plagiarize
or participate in any act of academic dishonesty will suffer serious
consequences. The first time you are caught, the teacher will notify
the administration through a written referral that cheating has
occurred and contact the parent for a conference. The student will
receive a zero on the assignment and may be suspended from the
class for one or two days. If a second incident occurs in the same
class, the student will be drop/failed from the class, and the student
will be suspended from 3-5 days. If the second cheating incident
occurs in a different class, the procedure for the first incident of
cheating will be followed. In addition, the parent and student will be
present for a conference and Saturday school will be assigned.
42
Gathering Information: Note Cards
Of the many ways of taking notes, the best method is
to use 3x5 note cards. The principal benefit of using
cards is in their flexibility. The cards may be
numbered, classified, renumbered and even rejected.
If the cards are organized logically, they can form the
preliminary outline for your paper.
Documentation
One of the most common questions asked by students is: “When should I use a footnote (or
parenthetical citation)?” Any information taken from another source, either directly quoted or
paraphrased, must be documented. Therefore, it is imperative that you always note page
numbers and the source from which you took the information each time you fill out a note card.
The following are examples of information that must be documented:
•
•
•
•
•
direct quotations
material summarized or paraphrased
charts, graphs, diagrams that are not your own
statistics, ideas, theories, or interpretations that are not your own
key words or terms that you have taken from a specific source
Source Cards
While you are looking for possible sources, make a bibliography/source card for each one that
you may or may not use. Some will be eliminated later after you have refined the areas of focus
in your paper. Then make up a symbol or choose a letter for that particular source. This will
save you time later when you are taking notes, as each card must have the source information on
it. Here is an example:
If you use any notes from this source
in your paper, then the letter “A” will
refer to the bibliographic source
which will serve as the identification
for both the footnote, endnote
or
parenthetical
documentation
within the text of your paper and the
list of works cited at the end.
Note Cards
43
Good notes are usually brief but substantial. The guiding principle is ONE IDEA AND ONE
SOURCE PER CARD. Keep in mind the following suggestions:
1. Record the page number for each quote or paraphrase, as it must be cited in your
documentation.
2. Use quotation marks where appropriate. Always put quotation marks around every direct
quotation. Even if you copy only some of the words, you must give credit or be guilty of
plagiarism. Use quoted material when you need to emphasize the original words.
3. Paraphrasing means restating the information in your own words. It does not mean
rearranging the author’s words. Paraphrasing may take a bit more time, but it is time well
spent. Even with paraphrasing, you must acknowledge the source of information and
document with proper citations.
4. Try to title your notes to develop topics which you may wish to stress in your paper. These
titles will help you to organize your thoughts by working as a preliminary outline.
5. As you are researching and taking notes, you may come up with and formulate your one
ideas regarding your topic. Identify these with the label “MINE” so that you will not be
confused later as to whether or not the idea was original.
Note the samples below showing a (1) quote, (2) paraphrase, and (3) original idea.
Organizing Your Information and Creating Your Outline
(Rough Outline)
44
1. Sort your note cards into stacks that contain major groupings of related ideas.
2. Read through each stack and select the most important subject heading. This subject will
become the main heading of the stack.
3. Next, arrange your card stacks into a sequence of main ideas that seems logical for the
development of your paper.
4. Read each note card in each stack and evaluate which ideas support other ideas. Arrange the
cards into subheadings and supporting details.
5. Make a rough outline based on the main ideas and subheadings.
6. Study your outline’s organization thus far and indicate the revisions and additional research
that you need in order to make your paper balanced and comprehensive.
(Revised Outline)
7. Revise your outline adding the support details. Remember to use Roman numerals for main
headings, capital letters of subheadings and Arabic numerals for support details.
8. Review your outline for parallel structure--all elements in each category (main heading,
subheadings, etc.) need to be written as sentences or as phrases. Also be sure to have at least
two subheadings under each heading. Remember, you can’t have an “A” without a “B” or a
“1” without a “2.”
Thesis Statement
As you get closer to writing, you can begin to shape the
information you have at hand into a unified, coherent whole by
framing a thesis statement for your paper: a single sentence that
expresses both your main idea and your point of view.
Consider the following list of possible topics:
• Predict consequences
• Claim that a problem exists about which readers are unaware
• Offer to have discovered information about which readers know
little
• Point out a cause-and-effect relationship
• Draw a historical (or other) parallel
• Assert a conclusion (which you will justify in the body of your
paper)
• Compare and/or contrast--past and present; literary styles; fact
and fiction; works by one author, etc.
• Compare theme in two or three literary works showing author’s
use of plot, symbolism, characterization, point of view, tone,
literary devices, allegory, irony and/or style.
Two factors are important to the shaping of a thesis statement—your purpose and your
audience. (1) What purpose will you try to achieve in the paper? Select appropriate verbs to fit
your purpose: describe, explain, argue for a point of view or persuade. (2) What audience are
you writing for
Organization: The bubble clusters and schematic outlines that follow will be extremely helpful
in organizing your ideas before your begin the actual writing process.
45
46
Form A
Form B
Form A
I. Intro/Thesis
II. First Stmt of Org
A. Body Thesis
B. Body Thesis
C. Body Thesis
III. Second Stmt of Org
A. Body Thesis
B. Body Thesis
C. Body Thesis
IV. Conclusion
Major Thesis
Major Thesis
47
Form B
I. Intro/Thesis
II. First Stmt of Org
A. Body Thesis
B. Body Thesis
III. Second Stmt of Org
A. Body Thesis
B. Body Thesis
IV. Third Stmt of Org
A. Body Thesis
B. Body Thesis
V. Conclusion
48
Senior Literary Research Essay Schematic Diagram: Eight-Paragraph Essay–Form A
Paragraph One: Introduction
Interest creating hook
Brief comparison to other work (novel, song, poem, movie)
Two Literary Analysis Statements of organization, i.e. your two body thesis sentences
Thesis statement—one sentence arguable opinion, TP overview, and point to be proved
Paragraph Two: Body Thesis #1—Introductory paragraph
Body thesis statement and transition from previous paragraph
Literary Analysis Statement of organization for the first cluster--IA, IB, IC.
Topic Sentence for points made in IA
Minimum two Concrete Details (including at least one quote, cited)
Minimum two Commentaries per Concrete Detail
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Three: Topic Sentence IB
Body thesis statement IB and transition
Minimum two Concrete Details
Minimum two Commentaries per CD
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Four: Topic IC
Body thesis statement IC and transition
Minimum two Concrete Details
Minimum two Commentaries per CD
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Five: Body Thesis #2--Introductory paragraph
Body thesis statement and transition from previous paragraph
Literary Analysis Statement of organization for the second cluster --IIA, IIB, IIC.
Topic Sentence for points made in IIA
Minimum two Concrete Details (including at least one quote, cited)
Minimum two Commentaries per Concrete Detail
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Six: Topic Sentence for IIB
Body thesis statement IIB and transition
Minimum two Concrete Details
Minimum two Commentaries per CD
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Seven: Topic IIC
Body thesis statement IIC and transition
Minimum two Concrete Detail
Minimum two Commentaries per CD
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Eight: Conclusion ( Last chance
to reinforce your arguments)
Transition
Summary—rephrase three Statements of
Organization
Rephrase Thesis
Extention–“Final Punch”
OUTLINE FORM A
I.
Introduction/Thesis
II.
1st Statement of Organization
A. Body Thesis
1. support
2. support
B. Body Thesis
1. support
2. support
C. Body Thesis
1. support
2. support
III.
2nd Statement of Organization
(continue as shown above)
IV.
Conclusion
49
Senior Literary Research Essay Schematic Diagram: Eight-Paragraph Essay–Form B
Paragraph One: Introduction
Interest creating hook
Brief comparison to other work (novel, song, poem, movie)
Two Literary Analysis Statements of organization, i.e. your two body thesis sentences
Thesis statement—one sentence arguable opinion, TP overview, and point to be proved
Paragraph Two: Body Thesis #1—Introductory paragraph
Body thesis statement and transition from previous paragraph
Lit Analysis Statement of org for the first cluster --IA, IB
Paragraph Three: Topic IB
Topic Sentence for points made in IA
Body thesis IB and transition
Minimum two Concrete Details (incl. at least one quote)
Minimum two Concrete Details
Minimum two Commentaries per concrete detail
Minimum two Comm per CD
Concluding Sentence
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Four- Body Thesis #2- Introductory paragraph
Body thesis statement and transition from previous paragraph
Lit Analysis Statement of org for the second cluster --IIA, IIB
Topic Sentence for points made in IIA
Paragraph Five: Topic IIB
Minimum two Concrete Details (including at least one quote)
Body thesis IIB and transition
Minimum two Commentaries per concrete detail
Minimum two Concrete Details
Concluding Sentence
Minimum two Comm per CD
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Six- Body Thesis #3 Introductory Paragraph
Body thesis statement and transition from previous paragraph
Lit Analysis Statement of org for the third cluster --IIIA, IIIB.
Topic Sentence for points made in IIIA
Paragraph Seven- Topic IIIB
Minimum two Concrete Details (incl. at least one quote)
Body thesis IIIB and transition
Minimum two Commentaries per concrete detail
Minimum two Concrete Details
Concluding Sentence
Minimum two Comm per CD
Concluding Sentence
Paragraph Eight- Conclusion
Transition
Summary—rephrase three Statements of Org
Outline Form B
Rephrase Thesis
I.
Introduction/Thesis
Extention–“Final Punch”
st
1 Statement of Organization
A. Body Thesis
1. support
2. support
B. Body Thesis
III.
2nd Statement of Organization
(continue as shown above)
IV.
3rd Statement of Organization
(continue as shown above)
V.
Conclusion
II.
Paper equals eight welldeveloped paragraphs
Writing Your First Draft
50
Introduction
Remember that your thesis statement, notes, and your outline will help you to organize your
information. Your thesis statement is a single sentence that states the main idea of your
paper. Begin your essay with an introduction which establishes the purpose of your research
(your thesis) and captures the interest of the reader. Write your draft in the third person-that is, avoid using the pronoun I. The use of the first person or the second person (you) is
not appropriate in this type of paper.
Body
The body supports and develops the thesis statement. When you write the body of your
paper, follow your outline carefully. Before you begin a paragraph, review your notes. The
topic sentence of each paragraph will be based on a main heading of the outline.
Conclusion
The concluding paragraph helps the reader to grasp the full meaning of your paper.
Some Practical Suggestions
• Don’t wait for inspiration to write your first paragraph. You may begin with your second
paragraph and come back later to create your introductory paragraph.
• Each time you start to write, reread the outline and notes you have created.
• Make your paper more than a collection of direct quotations and paraphrased material. Be
sure to interpret information from your reading.
• Write in an impersonal, formal style avoiding any first or second person references. You
should avoid such statements as “I believe,” or “In my opinion.”
• Use transitions effectively.
Footnotes, Endnotes, or Parenthetical Notations
You must give credit to your sources of information. Footnotes identify the sources of
information that you have used on each page. Footnoting is the original method of
documentation and was called such because the sources were recorded at the bottom of each
page. The term Footnote is still often used in a generic sense when referring to the endnote
or parenthetical citation methods of documentation. All three are used to identify the author
and specific page number of the publication from which you took an idea, quotation, or
statistic.
Endnotes are similar to footnotes in that they are identified within the text with a superscript
number that coincides with the numbered listing of sources. However, instead of placing the
documentation at the bottom of each page, they are listed on a separate page at the end of the
report. The page is headed “Notes” and is placed just before the “Works Cited.” The first
line of each footnote/endnote is always indented. Some teachers will require the format
shown Sample “A” with the superscript numbers. Other teachers will suggest that the
numbers be listed in normal alignment as is shown in Sample “B.”
SAMPLE A
Notes
51
1
Ivan Butler, The Horror Film (New York: A. S. Barnes, 1967), 40.
2
Charlos Clarens, An Illustrated History of the Horror Films (New York:
Putnam, 1967) 63.
3
Frankenstein,” Encyclopedia Britannica, 1975 ed., Vol. IV, 280.
4
Clarens, 67 - 69.
5
“Frankenstein.”
SAMPLE B
Parenthetical Citations (the most common mode): See the Purdue University insert.
Using Modern Language Association (MLA) Format
Brought to you by the Purdue University Online Writing Lab.
MLA style also specifies guidelines for formatting manuscripts and using the English language in
writing and also provides a writers with a system for cross-referencing their sources--from their
parenthetical references to their works cited page. This cross-referencing system allows readers to
locate the publication information of source material. This is of great value for researchers who may
want to locate your sources for their own research projects. The proper use of MLA style also shows
the credibility of writers; such writers show accountability to their source material. Most importantly,
the use of MLA style can protect writers from accusations of plagiarism--the purposeful or accidental
use of source material by other writers without giving appropriate credit.
If you are asked to use MLA format, the book to consult is The MLA Handbook for Writers of
Research Papers (6th edition). widely available in bookstores, libraries, and at the MLA web site at
http://www.mla.org. Included here is a brief summary of MLA style for the research paper.
Paper Format
The preparation of manuscripts in MLA style is covered in chapter four of the MLA Style Manual, as
well as in chapter three of the Handbook for Writing Research Papers. Here are some basic guidelines
for formatting a paper in MLA style. For additional help with formatting a document in MLA style,
see our additional resources section.
52
General Guidelines
•
Type your paper or write it on a computer and print it out on standard-sized paper (8.5 X 11
inches).
•
Double-space your paper.
•
Set the margins of your document to 1 inch on all sides.
•
Create a header that numbers all pages consecutively in the upper right-hand corner, one-half
inch from the top and flush with the right margin. (Note: Your instructor or whoever is
reading the manuscript may ask that you omit the number on your first page. Always follow
their guidelines.)
•
Use either underlining or italics throughout your essay for highlighting the titles of longer
works and providing emphasis.
•
If you have any notes, include them on a page before your works cited page and format them
the same way as your works cited list.
Formatting the first page of your paper
•
Do not make a title page for your paper unless specifically requested.
•
Provide a double-spaced entry in the top left corner of the first page that lists your name, your
instructor's name, the course, and the date.
•
Create a header that numbers all pages consecutively in the upper right-hand corner, one-half
inch from the top and flush with the right margin. (Note: Your instructor or whoever is
reading the manuscript may ask that you omit the number on your first page. Always follow
their guidelines.)
•
Center your title on the line below the header with your name, and begin your paper
immediately below the title.
Here is a sample first page of an essay in MLA style: (double spaced)
Purdue 1
Pete Purdue
Dr. B. Boilermaker
English 101
12 November 2000
Building a Dream: Reasons to Expand Ross-Aide Stadium
During the 2000 football season, the Purdue Boilermakers won the Big Ten Conference Title, earned
their first trip to the Rose Bowl in thirty-four years, and played consistently to sold-out crowds.
Looking ahead...
Formatting your works cited list
53
•
Begin your works cited list on a separate page from the text of the essay.
•
Label the works cited list Works Cited (do not underline the words Works Cited nor put them
in quotation marks) and center the words Works Cited at the top of the page.
•
Double space all entries and do not skip spaces between entries.
If you're looking for more help with MLA format, Diana Hacker provides an excellent guide to MLA
Manuscript Format in Research and Documentation Online (available at
http://www.dianahacker.com/resdoc/humanities/manuscript.html). Wright University provides MLA
Research Paper Templates in Microsoft Word and Rich Text formats (available at
http://www.wright.edu/~martin.maner/rptemp.htm)that you can download and use guides for writing
your papers.
Making reference to works of others in your text
Referring to the works of others in your text by using MLA style is covered in chapter seven of the
MLA Style Manual, and chapter five of the Handbook for Writing Research Papers. Both chapters
include extensive examples, so it's a good idea to read them over if you want to become familiar with
the guidelines or if you have a particular question.
In MLA style, referring to the works of others in your text is done in two ways. When you make
reference to someone else's idea, either through paraphrasing or quoting them directly, you:
•
provide the author's name (or the title of the work) and the page (or paragraph) number of the
work in a parenthetical citation
•
provide full citation information for the work in your Works Cited list
This allows people to know which sources you used in writing your essay and then be able to look
them up themselves, so that they can use them in their scholarly work. Here are some basic guidelines
for referring to the works of others in your text. For additional help with citing the works of others, see
our additional resources section.
Parenthetical Citations
MLA format follows the author-page method of citation. This means that the author's last name and
the page number(s) from which the quotation is taken must appear in the text, and a complete
reference should appear in your works cited list (see Your Works Cited Page, below). The author's
name may appear either in the sentence itself or in parentheses following the quotation or paraphrase,
but the page number(s) should always appear in the parentheses, not in the text of your sentence.
For example:
Wordsworth stated that Romantic poetry was marked by a "spontaneous overflow of powerful
feelings" (263).
Romantic poetry is characterized by the "spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings" (Wordsworth
263).
Wordsworth extensively explored the role of emotion in the creative process (263).
54
If the work you are making reference to has no author, use an abbreviated version of the work's title.
For non-print sources, such as films, TV series, pictures, or other media, or electronic sources, include
the name that begins the entry in the Works Cited page.
For example:
An anonymous Wordsworth critic once argued that his poems were too emotional ("Wordsworth Is a
Loser" 100).
Sometimes you may have to use an indirect quotation. An indirect quotation is a quotation that you
found in another source that was quoting from the original. For such indirect quotations, use "qtd. in"
to indicate the source.
For example:
Ravitch argues that high schools are pressured to act as "social service centers, and they don't do that
well" (qtd.in Weisman 259).
Sometimes more information is necessary to identify the source from which a quotation is taken. For
instance, if two or more authors have the same last name, provide both authors' first initials (or even
her or his full name if different authors share initials) in your citation. If you cite more than one work
by a particular author, include a shortened title for the particular work from which you are quoting to
distinguish it from the other works by that same person.
For example:
Two authors with the same last name:
Although some medical ethicists claim that cloning will lead to designer children (R. Miller 12), others
note that the advantages for medical research outweigh this consideration (A. Miller 46).
Two works by the same author:
Lightenor has argued that computers are not useful tools for small children ("Too Soon" 38), though
he has acknowledged that early exposure to computer games does lead to better small motor skill
development in a child's second and third year ("Hand-Eye Development" 17).
For more about using parenthetical citations, visit MLA In-Text Citations (at Research and
Documentation Online, available at http://www.dianahacker.com/resdoc/humanities/intext.html) or
MLA Documentation: Citations in Text (from the University of Wisconsin-Madison Writing Center,
available at http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/DocMLACitation.html), or see our additional
resources section.
Quotations
When you directly quote the works of others in your paper, you will format quotations differently
depending on whether they are long or short quotations. Formatting quotations using MLA style is
covered in section 3.9 of the MLA Style Manual (which begins on page 102), and section 2.7 of the of
the Handbook for Writing Research Papers (which begins on page 80). Here are some basic guidelines
for incorporating quotations into your paper.
Short Quotations
To indicate short quotations (fewer than four typed lines of prose or three lines of verse) in your text,
enclose the quotation within double quotation marks and incorporate it into your text. Provide the
55
author and specific page citation (in the case of verse, provide line numbers) in the text, and include a
complete reference in the works-cited list. Punctuation marks such as periods, commas, and
semicolons should appear after the parenthetical citation. Question marks and exclamation points
should appear within the quotation marks if they are a part of the quoted passage but after the
parenthetical citation if they are a part of your text.
For example:
According to some, dreams express "profound aspects of personality" (Foulkes 184), though others
disagree.
According to Foulkes's study, dreams may express "profound aspects of personality" (184).
Is it possible that dreams may express "profound aspects of personality" (Foulkes 184)?
Cullen concludes, "Of all the things that happened there/ That's all I remember" (11-12).
Long Quotations
Place quotations longer than four typed lines in a free-standing block of typewritten lines, and omit
quotation marks. Start the quotation on a new line, indented one inch from the left margin, and
maintain double-spacing. Your parenthetical citation should come after the closing punctuation mark.
When quoting verse, maintain original line breaks. (Maintain double-spacing throughout.)
For example:
Nelly Dean treats Heathcliff poorly and dehumanizes him throughout her narration:
They entirely refused to have it in bed with them, or
even in their room, and I had no more sense, so, I put
it on the landing of the stairs, hoping it would be
gone on the morrow. By chance, or else attracted by
hearing his voice, it crept to Mr. Earnshaw's door,
and there he found it on quitting his chamber.
Inquiries were made as to how it got there; I was
obliged to confess, and in recompense for my
cowardice and inhumanity was sent out of the house.
(Brontë 78)
In her poem "Sources," Adrienne Rich explores the roles of women in shaping their world:
The faithful drudging child
the child at the oak desk whose penmanship,
hard work, style will win her prizes
becomes the woman with a mission, not to win prizes
but to change the laws of history. (23)
Adding or Omitting Words In Quotations
If you add a word or words in a quotation, you should put brackets around the words to indicate that
they are not part of the original text.
56
For example:
Jan Harold Brunvand, in an essay on urban legends, states: "some individuals [who retell urban
legends] make a point of learning every rumor or tale" (78).
If you omit a word or words from a quotation, you should indicate the deleted word or word by using
ellipsis marks surrounded by brackets.
For example:
In an essay on urban legends, Jan Harold Brunvand notes that "some individuals make a point of
learning every recent rumor or tale [...] and in a short time a lively exchange of details occurs" (78).
If there are ellipsis marks in the quoted author's work, do not put brackets around them; only use
brackets around ellipsis marks to distinguish them from ellipsis marks in the quoted author's work.
Citing the Bible
In your first parenthetical citation, you want to make clear which Bible you're using (and italicize or
underline the title), as each version varies in its translation, followed by book (do not italicize or
underline), chapter and verse. For example:
Ezekiel saw "what seemed to be four living creatures," each with faces of a man, a lion, an ox, and an
eagle (New Jerusalem Bible, Ezek. 1.5-10).
All future references can then just cite book, chapter, and verse, since you've established which edition
of the Bible you will be using.
For more about formatting quotations, check out the links to guides for formatting in our additional
resources section.
Works Cited
The works cited list should appear at the end of your essay. It provides the information necessary for a
reader to locate and be able to read any sources you cite in the essay. Each source you cite in the essay
must appear in your works-cited list; likewise, each entry in the works-cited list must be cited in your
text. Preparing your works cited list using MLA style is covered in chapter six of the MLA Style
Manual, and chapter four of the Handbook for Writing Research Papers. Here are some guidelines for
preparing your works cited list.
Works Cited Format
•
Begin your works cited list on a separate page from the text of the essay under the label Works
Cited (with no quotation marks, underlining, etc.), which should be centered at the top of the
page.
•
Make the first line of each entry in your list flush left with the margin. Subsequent lines in
each entry should be indented one-half inch. This is known as a hanging indent.
•
Double space all entries, with no skipped spaces between entries.
•
Keep in mind that underlining and italics are equivalent; you should select one or the other to
use throughout your essay.
57
•
Alphabetize the list of works cited by the first word in each entry (usually the author's last
name),
Basic Rules for Citations
•
Authors' names are inverted (last name first); if a work has more than one author, invert only
the first author's name, follow it with a comma, then continue listing the rest of the authors.
•
If you have cited more than one work by a particular author, order them alphabetically by title,
and use three hyphens in place of the author's name for every entry after the first.
•
When an author appears both as the sole author of a text and as the first author of a group, list
solo-author entries first.
•
If no author is given for a particular work, alphabetize by the title of the piece and use a
shortened version of the title for parenthetical citations.
•
Capitalize each word in the titles of articles, books, etc. This rule does not apply to articles,
short prepositions, or conjunctions unless one is the first word of the title or subtitle.
•
Underline or italicize titles of books, journals, magazines, newspapers, and films.
•
Use quotation marks around the titles of articles in journals, magazines, and newspapers. Also
use quotation marks for the titles of short stories, book chapters, poems, and songs.
•
List page numbers efficiently, when needed. If you refer to a journal article that appeared on
pages 225 through 250, list the page numbers on your Works Cited page as 225-50.
•
If you're citing an article or a publication that was originally issued in print form but that you
retrieved from an online database, you should provide enough information so that the reader
can locate the article either in its original print form or retrieve it from the online database (if
they have access). For more about this, see our discussion of electronic sources.
For more about formatting your works cited page, visit MLA List of Works Cited (from Research and
Documentation Online, available at http://www.dianahacker.com/resdoc/humanities/list.html), view a
Sample Works Cited Page (from A Research Guide for Students, available at
http://www.aresearchguide.com/10works.html#sampleworks), or visit some of the links in our
additional resources section.
Basic Forms for Sources in Print
The MLA Style Manual provides extensive examples of print source citations in chapter six; The MLA
Handbook for Writers of Research Papers provides extensive examples covering a wide variety of
potential sources in chapter six. If your particular case is not covered here, use the basic forms to
determine the correct format, consult the MLA Handbook, visit the links in our additional resources
section, talk to your instructor, or call the Writing Lab (765-494-3723) for help.
Books
Author(s). Title of Book. Place of Publication: Publisher, Year of Publication.
Book with one author
Henley, Patricia. The Hummingbird House. Denver: MacMurray, 1999.
58
Two books by the same author
(After the first listing of the author's name, use three hyphens and a period for the author's name. List
books alphabetically.)
Palmer, William J. Dickens and New Historicism. New York: St. Martin's, 1997.
---. The Films of the Eighties: A Social History. Carbondale: Southern Illinois UP, 1993.
Book with more than one author
Gillespie, Paula, and Neal Lerner. The Allyn and Bacon Guide to Peer Tutoring. Boston: Allyn, 2000.
If there are more than three authors, you may list only the first author followed by the phrase et al. (the
abbreviation for the Latin phrase "and others") in place of the other authors' names, or you may list all
the authors in the order in which their names appear on the title page.
Book with a corporate author
American Allergy Association. Allergies in Children. New York: Random, 1998.
Book or article with no author named
Encyclopedia of Indiana. New York: Somerset, 1993.
"Cigarette Sales Fall 30% as California Tax Rises." New York Times 14 Sept. 1999: A17.
For parenthetical citations of sources with no author named, use a shortened version of the title instead
of an author's name. Use quotation marks and underlining as appropriate. For example, parenthetical
citations of the two sources above would appear as follows: (Encyclopedia 235) and ("Cigarette"
A17).
Anthology or collection
Peterson, Nancy J., ed. Toni Morrison: Critical and Theoretical Approaches. Baltimore: Johns
Hopkins UP, 1997.
A part of a book (such as an essay in a collection)
Author(s). "Title of Article." Title of Collection. Ed. Editor's Name(s). Place of Publication: Publisher,
Year. Pages.
Essay in a collection
Harris, Muriel. "Talk to Me: Engaging Reluctant Writers." A Tutor's Guide: Helping Writers One to
One. Ed. Ben Rafoth. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann, 2000. 24-34.
Cross-referencing: If you cite more than one essay from the same edited collection, you should crossreference within your works cited list in order to avoid writing out the publishing information for each
separate essay. To do so, include a separate entry for the entire collection listed by the editor's name.
For individual essays from that collection, simply list the author's name, the title of the essay, the
editor's last name, and the page numbers. For example:
L'Eplattenier, Barbara. "Finding Ourselves in the Past: An Argument for Historical Work on WPAs."
Rose and Weiser 131-40.
59
Peeples, Tim. "'Seeing' the WPA With/Through Postmodern Mapping." Rose and Weiser 153-167.
Rose, Shirley K., and Irwin Weiser, eds. The Writing Program Administrator as Researcher.
Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann, 1999.
Article from a reference book
"Jamaica." Encyclopedia Britannica. 1999 ed.
An article in a periodical (such as a newspaper or magazine)
Author(s). "Title of Article." Title of Source Day Month Year: pages.
When citing the date, list day before month; use a three-letter abbreviation of the month (e.g. Jan.,
Mar., Aug.). If there is more than one edition available for that date (as in an early and late edition of a
newspaper), identify the edition following the date (e.g. 17 May 1987, late ed.).
Magazine or newspaper article
Poniewozik, James. "TV Makes a Too-Close Call." Time 20 Nov. 2000: 70-71.
Trembacki, Paul. "Brees Hopes to Win Heisman for Team." Purdue Exponent 5 Dec. 2000: 20.
An article in a scholarly journal
Author(s). "Title of Article." Title of Journal Vol (Year): pages.
"Vol" indicates the volume number of the journal. If the journal uses continuous pagination
throughout a particular volume, only volume and year are needed, e.g. Modern Fiction Studies 40
(1998): 251-81. If each issue of the journal begins on page 1, however, you must also provide the issue
number following the volume, e.g. Mosaic 19.3 (1986): 33-49.
Essay in a journal with continuous pagination
Allen, Emily. "Staging Identity: Frances Burney's Allegory of Genre." Eighteenth-Century Studies 31
(1998): 433-51.
Essay in a journal that pages each issue separately
Duvall, John N. "The (Super)Marketplace of Images: Television as Unmediated Mediation in
DeLillo's White Noise." Arizona Quarterly 50.3 (1994): 127-53.
The Bible (specific editions)
The New Jerusalem Bible. Susan Jones, gen. ed. New York: Doubleday, 1985.
For more about citing print sources in your works cited page, visit Works Cited in MLA Style (from A
Research Guide for Students, available at http://www.aresearchguide.com/12biblio.html), an MLA
List of Works Cited (from Research and Documentation Online, available at
http://www.dianahacker.com/resdoc/humanities/list.html), view a Sample Works Cited Page (from A
Research Guide for Students, available at
http://www.aresearchguide.com/10works.html#sampleworks), or visit some of the links in our
additional resources section.
60
Basic Forms for Electronic Sources
The MLA Style Manual provides extensive examples of electronic source citations in chapter six; The
MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers provides extensive examples covering a wide variety
of potential sources in chapter six. If your particular case is not covered here, use the basic forms to
determine the correct format, consult the MLA Handbook, visit the links in our additional resources
section, talk to your instructor, or call the Writing Lab (765-494-3723) for help.
If no author is given for a web page or electronic source, start with and alphabetize by the title
of the piece and use a shortened version of the title for parenthetical citations.
A web site
Author(s). Name of Page. Date of Posting/Revision. Name of institution/organization affiliated with
the site. Date of Access <electronic address>.
It is necessary to list your date of access because web postings are often updated, and information
available at one date may no longer be available later. Be sure to include the complete address for the
site. Also, note the use of angled brackets around the electronic address; MLA requires them for
clarity.
Web site examples
Felluga, Dino. Undergraduate Guide to Literary Theory. 17 Dec. 1999. Purdue University. 15 Nov.
2000 <http://omni.cc.purdue.edu%7Efelluga/theory2.html>.
Purdue Online Writing Lab. 2003. Purdue University. 10 Feb. 2003 <http://owl.english.purdue.edu>.
An article on a web site
It is necessary to list your date of access because web postings are often updated, and information
available at one date may no longer be available later. Be sure to include the complete address for the
site. Also, note the use of angled brackets around the electronic address; MLA requires them for
clarity.
Author(s)."Article Title." Name of web site. Date of posting/revision. Name of institution/organization
affiliated with site. Date of access <electronic address>.
Article on a web site
Poland, Dave. "The Hot Button." Roughcut. 26 Oct. 1998. Turner Network Television. 28 Oct. 1998
<http://www.roughcut.com>.
"Using Modern Language Association (MLA) Format." Purdue Online Writing Lab. 2003. Purdue
University. 6 Feb. 2003 <http://owl.english.purdue.eduhandouts/research/r_mla.html>.
An article in an online journal or magazine
Author(s). "Title of Article." Title of Journal Volume. Issue (Year): Pages/Paragraphs. Date of Access
<electronic address>.
Some electronic journals and magazines provide paragraph or page numbers; include them if
available. This format is also appropriate to online magazines; as with a print version, you should
provide a complete publication date rather than volume and issue number.
61
Online journal article
Wheelis, Mark. "Investigating Disease Outbreaks Under a Protocol to the Biological and Toxin
Weapons Convention." Emerging Infectious Diseases 6.6 (2000): 33 pars. 5 Dec. 2000
<http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/eid/vol6no6/wheelis.htm>.
An Online Image or Series of Images
Artist if available. "Description or title of image." Date of image. Online image. Title of larger site.
Date of download. <electronic address>.
Smith, Greg. "Rhesus Monkeys in the Zoo." No date. Online image. Monkey Picture Gallery. 3 May
2003. <http://monkeys.online.org/rhesus.jpg>.
E-mail (or other personal communications)
Author. "Title of the message (if any)" E-mail to person's name. Date of the message.
This same format may be used for personal interviews or personal letters. These do not have titles, and
the description should be appropriate. Instead of "Email to John Smith," you would have "Personal
interview."
E-mail to you
Kunka, Andrew. "Re: Modernist Literature." E-mail to the author. 15 Nov. 2000.
Email communication between two parties, not including the author
Neyhart, David. "Re: Online Tutoring." E-mail to Joe Barbato. 1 Dec. 2000.
A listserv posting
Author. "Title of Posting." Online posting. Date when material was posted (for example: 18 Mar.
1998). Name of listserv. Date of access <electronic address for retrieval>.
Online Posting
Karper, Erin. "Welcome!" Online posting. 23 Oct. 2000. Professional Writing Bulletin Board. 12 Nov.
2000 <http://linnell.english.purdue.edu/ubb/Forum2/HTML/000001.html>.
An article or publication retrieved from an electronic database
If you're citing an article or a publication that was originally issued in print form but that you retrieved
from an online database that your library subscribes to, you should provide enough information so that
the reader can locate the article either in its original print form or retrieve it from the online database
(if they have access).
Provide the following information in your citation:
•
Author's name (if not available, use the article title as the first part of the citation)
•
Article Title
•
Publication Name
62
•
Publication Date
•
Page Number/Range
•
Database Name
•
Service Name
•
Name of the library where service was accessed
•
Name of the town/city where service was accessed
•
Date of Access
•
URL of the service (but not the whole URL for the article, since those are very long and won't
be able to be re-used by someone trying to retrieve the information)
The generic citation form would look like this:
Author. "Title of Article." Publication Name Volume Number (if necessary) Publication Date: page
number-page number. Database name. Service name. Library Name, City, State. Date of access
<electronic address of the database>.
Here's an example:
Smith, Martin. "World Domination for Dummies." Journal of Despotry Feb. 2000: 66-72. Expanded
Academic ASAP. Gale Group Databases. Purdue University Libraries, West Lafayette, IN. 19
February 2003 <http://www.infotrac.galegroup.com>.
Article in a reference database on CD-ROM
"World War II." Encarta. CD-ROM. Seattle: Microsoft, 1999.
Article from a periodically published database on CD-ROM
Reed, William. "Whites and the Entertainment Industry." Tennessee Tribune 25 Dec. 1996: 28. Ethnic
NewsWatch. CD-ROM. Data Technologies. Feb. 1997.
Government publication
United States Dept. of Health and Human Services. Healthy People 2010: Understanding and
Improving Health. Washington: GPO, 2000.
Pamphlet
Office of the Dean of Students. Resources for Success: Learning Disabilities and Attention Deficit
Disorders. West Lafayette, IN: Purdue University, 2000.
Interview that you conducted
Purdue, Pete. Personal Interview. 1 Dec. 2000.
A lecture or a speech
63
To cite a lecture or a speech, "give the speaker's name, the title of the lecture or speech (if known) in
quotation marks, the meeting and the sponsoring organization (if applicable), the location [including
place and city, if available], and the date. If there is no title, use an appropriate descriptive label (e.g.,
Lecture, Address, Keynote speech), neither underlined nor enclosed in quotation marks" (MLA
Handbook, 206).
Harris, Muriel. "Writing Labs: A Short History." 2003 Writing Center Conference. National Writing
Centers Association. La Swank Hotel, Seattle. 28 March 2003.
Advertisement
Lufthansa. Advertisement. Time 20 Nov. 2000: 151.
Television or radio program
"The Blessing Way." The X-Files. Fox. WXIA, Atlanta. 19 Jul. 1998.
Sound recording
We truly
appreciate Purdue
University for
granting
permission to use
this valuable MLA
formatting packet
U2. All That You Can't Leave Behind. Interscope, 2000.
Film
The Usual Suspects. Dir. Bryan Singer. Perf. Kevin Spacey, Gabriel Byrne, Chazz Palminteri, Stephen
Baldwin, and Benecio del Toro. Polygram, 1995.
TV Advertisement
Staples. Advertisement. CBS. 3 Dec. 2000.
Other Types of Sources
The MLA Style Manual provides extensive examples of other source citations in chapter six; The MLA
Handbook for Writers of Research Papers provides extensive examples covering a wide variety of
potential sources in chapter six.
Works Cited Sample:
64
ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY FORMAT
An annotated bibliography is a list of citations to books, articles, and documents. Each
citation is followed by a brief (usually about 150 words) descriptive and evaluative paragraph,
the annotation. The purpose of the annotation is to provide a brief overview of the main points
included (concrete details) and to inform the reader of the relevance, accuracy, and quality of
the sources cited (commentary). Entries are listed in alphabetical order using MLA format
alphabetized by last name of author, or title of article if no author is given. It is set up with the
first line at the left margin; the second line is indented five spaces. Annotations follow
immediately after each source is cited. Double space the entire document.
Creating an annotated bibliography calls for the application of a variety of intellectual skills:
concise explanation, succinct analysis, and informed library research. The list below obtained
from the Cornell University website includes steps to appraise a source during the research
process. These same appraisal steps are helpful to consider in an Annotated Bibliography.
CRITICALLY APPRAISING THE BOOK, ARTICLE, OR DOCUMENT
A. Author
1. What are the author's credentials--institutional affiliation (where he or she works),
educational background, past writings, or experience? Is the book or article written on
a topic in the author's area of expertise?
2. Has your instructor mentioned this author? Have you seen the author's name cited in
other sources or bibliographies? Respected authors are cited frequently by other
scholars. Is the author associated with a reputable institution or organization? What
are the basic values or goals of the organization or institution?
B. Date of Publication
1. When was the source published? This date is often located on the face of the title page
below the name of the publisher. If it is not there, look for the copyright date on the
reverse of the title page. On Web pages, the date of the last revision is usually at the
bottom of the home page, sometimes every page.
2. Is the source current or out-of-date for your topic? Topic areas of continuing and rapid
development, such as the sciences, demand more current information. On the other
hand, topics in the humanities often require material that was written many years ago.
C. Edition or Revision
Is this a first edition of this publication or not? Further editions indicate a source has
been revised and updated to reflect changes in knowledge, include omissions, and
harmonize with its intended reader's needs.
D. Publisher
If the source is published by a university press, it is likely to be scholarly. Although
the fact that the publisher is reputable does not necessarily guarantee quality, it does
show that the publisher may have high regard for the source being published. Is this a
scholarly or a popular journal?
65
E. Content Analysis
1. Is the information covered fact, opinion, or propaganda? It is not always easy to
separate fact from opinion. Facts can usually be verified; opinions, though they may
be based on factual information, evolve from the interpretation of facts. Skilled writers
can make you think their interpretations are facts.
2. Does the information appear to be valid and well-researched, or is it questionable and
unsupported by evidence? Note errors or omissions.
3. Are the ideas and arguments advanced more or less in line with other works you have
read on the same topic?
4. Is the author's point of view objective and impartial? Is the language free of emotionarousing words and bias?
5. Does the work update other sources, substantiate other materials you have read, or add
new information? Does it extensively or marginally cover your topic? You should
explore enough sources to obtain a variety of viewpoints.
6. Is the material primary or secondary in nature? Primary sources are the raw material
of the research process. Secondary sources are based on primary sources. Choose both
primary and secondary sources when you have the opportunity.
Annotated Bibliography Format:
Johnson, Albert, et al. “Stalin—Early Years.” Grolier Electronic Publishing Co., Inc. CDROM. 1997.
An annotation is a critical and explanatory note about a subject. Your annotation will
follow immediately after your citation and contain both concrete details and
commentary.
“Utopia.” Publishers Weekly. Netscape. Internet. 15 August 1997.
Write a concise annotation that summarizes the central theme and scope of the book or
article (concrete details).
“Zion.” Encarta. Microsoft Corp. America Online. 15 June 1997.
Your annotation should also include a critical evaluation (commentary)
recommending or not recommending this source to others for its educational value.
Include one or more sentences that (a) evaluate the authority or background of the
author, (b) compare or contrast this work with another you have cited, and/or (c)
explain how this work illuminates your topic.
66
The Elements of a Short Story
PLOT: the outline of events in a story.
•
Exposition: the basic situation
•
Conflict: problems and events that arise
Person against person
Person against society
Person against nature
Person against self
Person against fate or God
•
Climax: the high point of the story (crisis, big event).
•
Resolution (denouement): the final outcome of the story.
CHARACTERS: the people or animals who take part in the story.
•
Main Character: the person or animal who the story is mostly about. The most
important character.
•
Minor Character: less important person or animal. They give their opinions or pose
problems for the main character.
•
Protagonist: the hero of the story who is faced with a conflict. The protagonist is usually
the main character.
•
Antagonist: usually the villain of the story - the person, animal, or creature who creates
conflict for the main character.
•
Foil: someone who serves as a contrast or challenge to another character.
•
Characterization: ways of showing what a character is like. The way a character looks,
talks, or acts is part of his or her characterization. The character’s name, sex, nationality,
ethnicity, appearance, traits, age, relationship to others, occupation, religion, opinions,
problems, background, personality, importance, emotions, and values are other examples.
•
•
Character Development: the change in a character from the beginning to the end
Dialogue: the verbal and nonverbal communication between characters in a story.
67
This is one of the most important features of a story. It brings the reader to the scene
where the feelings of the characters are expressed through their words. Use colorful
dialogue tags which reveal the emotions of the character such as the following:
asserted
badgered
bellowed
bristled
cackled
chided
demanded
exploded
lamented
speculated
pestered yelped
SETTING: where and when the action takes place in a story. The setting includes the
sounds, smells, sights and tastes a character in a story may be experiencing. Details for a
setting may be about the interior and exterior furnishings of a building, the type of
government in a country, the food and drink commonly available, the climate and landscape.
POINT OF VIEW: the vantage point from which the story is told
• Omniscient: The narrator relates the thoughts and feelings of
all the characters; all knowing.
•
Third-person limited: The reader’s knowledge is restricted
to that revealed by a single character (he/she, they, it).
•
First Person: One character narrates the story (I or we)
THEME: the statement about life a particular work is trying to
get across to the reader; the central idea of the novel.
TONE: the feeling the author brings to the piece or the attitude
toward the subject that is conveyed by the language of the
speaker
STORY OUTLINE
(a step by step model of how to write a short story)
Introduction or Exposition
1. Briefly introduce the main characters. Describe their physical, mental, and emotional
attitudes.
2. Briefly describe the time and place of the story.
3. Describe what the main setting is like. Include where, when, size, smells, sounds, etc. to
help create the atmosphere for the story.
4. Write one or more sentences describing the problem or struggle the protagonist is facing.
5. Describe how the antagonist plays a part in the problem.
6. Explain the conflict between the protagonist and antagonist.
7. Describe how this problem began.
8. Describe how your character has become involved with the problem.
9. Describe who or what has caused the problem.
10. Describe how the main character can prevent, change, or stop the problem.
Rising Action
11. As your story develops, describe how the protagonist and antagonist change.
12. Describe how the characters respond to new struggles that complicate the main plot.
68
13. Describe what happens next in the story. What new events take place that hinder or help
the protagonist or antagonist?
Climax
14. Describe an event that occurs which makes a major change in the course of action in the
story. The action usually reaches a peak between the protagonist and antagonist.
Falling Action
15. Describe how the character(s), setting and plot begin to lead to the conclusion.
16. Describe what happened after the climax.
17. Describe how the character(s) have changed.
The Resolution or Denouement
18. Describe how the problem has been solved.
19. Describe how the characters feel, look, and act now that their struggle is over.
20. Draw the story to a close.
LITERARY TERMS
Extend Your Writing: Literary terms are rhetorical devices that enable the writer to express
his or her ideas more eloquently. Consider using one or more of these devices to make your
writing more appealing and persuasive.
Allegory: a story that represents an idea or a generalization about life often with a moral.
alliteration: the repetition of similar consonant sounds
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
allusion: reference to a person, thing or aspect of culture--real or fiction
apostrophe: figure of speech in which a speaker directly addresses an absent person, quality
assonance: the repetition of similar vowel sounds (teach, scream; free, easy)
During the earthquake, the dishes clattered against each other, banged
against the cupboard door, and smashed on the floor.
consonance: the repetition of final consonant sounds after different vowel sounds
east, west; dig, dog; turn, torn; struts, frets
epigram: a brief clever & usually memorable statement (Pope's writing)
There never was a good war or a bad peace.” ~Ben Franklin
extended metaphor (conceit): a comparison that is developed at great length often through
the entire poem
farce: literature based on a humorous and improbable plot.
foreshadowing: clues which allow the reader to predict the outcome
hyperbole: the use of exaggerated terms
His glare could make a plant wither.
69
imagery: use of colorful adjectives, sensory details, and comparisons to provide
visualization
irony: a contrast between what appears to be and what really is
a. dramatic irony: when the audience knows something that the characters don’t
b. situational irony: the difference between what appears to be and what really is
c. verbal irony: saying one thing but meaning something else
metaphor: an implied comparison between two things that are unlike, but which have
something in common
Brent is a walking encyclopedia.
motif: a term for an often-repeated character, incident, or idea in literature.
Saving a damsel in distress is a common motif of American melodrama.
onomatopoeia: the use of words which sound like their meaning
The engine coughed and sputtered.
oxymoron: combines two opposing or contradictory ideas
freezing fires
burning ice
bitter sweet
paradox: an apparent contradiction that is actually true
cold war; lonely crowd
parallelism: similarity of structure in a pair or series of related words, phrases or clauses
To prepare his house for the party, Brian vacuumed the carpet, mopped the
kitchen floor, and mowed the front lawn.
personification: attributing human qualities to non-human things
The wind howled and shrieked with joy.
propaganda: facts that are distorted to manipulate thinking
satire: the art of criticizing that ridicules human weakness in order to bring about social
reform.
simile: an indirect comparison of two things using the words as or like
Censoring a book is like drowning a person along with all of his family and friends.
stereotype: generalized ideas about characters/situations (ex., naive
orphan; dumb blonde)
symbol: a person, place, thing, or event that stands both for
itself and for something beyond itself; it means more than
what it is.
rose = love, youthful beauty
70
POETRY
Specific Types of Poetry
1. Acrostic poem: Write a word vertically down the left margin of your paper and then
extend each letter of the word to form words or phrases across your paper.
2. Ballad: tells a story and often rhymes every other line
3. Blank verse: unrhymed poetry—usually ten syllables (every other stressed and
unstressed)
4. Conceit: Extended metaphor
5. Concrete poetry: Use words to form pictures. (also called “Shape Poetry”)
6. Copy change: Copy the format or style of an existing poem while changing the ideas to
express your own message.
7. Dramatic Monologue: Character speaks about him- or herself as if another was present.
8. Elegy: serious poem of lament and meditation on the death of someone
9. Epic: long, narrative poem dealing with great heroes and adventures
10. “Found” poetry: Use or manipulate printed information to make a poem. (Examples of
original sources are news articles, stories, menus, etc.)
11. Haiku: verse invented in Japan centuries ago which is composed of three nonrhyming
lines structured as follows:
Line 1: 5 syllables
Line 2: 7 syllables
Line 3: 5 syllables
12. Lyric: an emotional poem often intended to be sung;
retains the quality of music in its sounds and rhythms
13. Mock epic: satire using epic style for a trivial incident.
14. Narrative: an account of a series of events
15. Ode: poem of praise
16. Pastoral: poetry that depicts rustic life in idealized terms.
17. Satire: act of ridiculing a subject to create amusement
18. Sonnet: a lyric poem with a traditional form of 14 iambic
pentameter lines
POETRY INTERPRETATION (see TPCASTT—next page)
Use the following steps when interpreting a poem:
Step One: Read the poem one sentence at a time looking for the interpretation of each.
Step Two: Ask the following questions:
1. What statement about the subject is being made by the poem as a whole? Look for any
special insight.
2. What clues, if any, are given about the persona?
3. In what tone (attitude of the speaker toward the subject) does the poem open? Does the
tone progress or change perspective during the course of the poem? Does it progress from
a problem to a solution; from a story to the outcome; from the physical world to the
spiritual world; from mortality to immortality, etc.?
Examples: nostalgic, wistful, sentimental, hopeless, scornful, tender, objective
4. What is the author’s message?
5. What especially effective words and/or figures of speech including images and sound
effects advance the poem’s meaning?
6. What clues do we gain from the punctuation?
7. Does the author use meter and/or rhyme to draw attention to key words?
71
.
Using TPCASTT for Analysis of Poetry
Title
T
What do the words of the title suggest to you? What denotations are presented
in the title? What connotations or associations do the words posses?
Translate the poem in your own words. What is the poem about?
P
Paraphrase
C
Connotation What meaning does the poem have beyond the literal meaning? Fill in the chart below
Form
Diction
Imagery
Point of View
Details
Allusions
Symbolism
Figurative Language
Other Devices
(antithesis, apostrophe, sound
devices, irony, oxymoron,
paradox, pun, sarcasm,
understatement)
Attitude
A
What is the speaker's attitude? How does the speaker feel about himself, about
others, and about the subject? What is the author's attitude? How does the
author feel about the speaker, about other characters, about the subject, and the reader?
Shifts
S
Where do the shifts in tone, setting, voice, etc. occur? Look for time and place,
keywords, punctuation, stanza divisions. changes in length or rhyme, and
sentence structure. What is the purpose of each shift? How do they contribute
to effect and meaning?
T
Title
Theme
Reanalyze the title on an interpretive level. What part does the title play in the overall
interpretation of the poem?
List the subjects and the abstract ideas in the poem. Then determine the overall
72
Theme. The theme must be written in a complete sentence.
73
IMAGERY
Five Senses Vocabulary
Refer to this list of words when you are writing
poetry or descriptive paragraphs when you want
the reader to be able to visualize the setting.
SIGHT
auburn
bleached
blur
brilliance
colorless
dazzling
dingy
foggy
gaudy
glistening
gloomy
grimy
hazy
invisible
mirage
pale
polished
radiant
sheer
shimmering
smudged
sooty
sparkle
streaked
sunny
tarnished
tint
transparent
twinkling
SMELL
aroma
aromatic
bouquet
deodorized
fragrant
incense
moldy
musty
odorless
perfumed
pungent
putrid
rancid
rank
reek
scented
smelly
sniff
snuff
spicy
stench
stinky
whiff
SOUND
bellow
blubber
cackle
chatter
chuckle
clamor
creak
croon
crunch
drone
echo
groan
grunt
hiss
howl
melodious
monotone
murmur
rattle
rumble
rustle
shrill
snarl
squeal
stutter
thump
thunder
uproar
wail
whimper
whine
whisper
TOUCH
74
bumpy
coarse
dusty
feathery
firm
fuzzy
gooey
grainy
gritty
limp
lukewarm
oily
powdery
prickly
slick
slimy
spongy
sticky
sweaty
tepid
thorny
velvety
vibrating
TASTE
acid
appetizing
bitter
bland
curdled
delicious
distasteful
flavorless
green
luscious
mellow
nauseating
palatable
peppery
ripe
rotten
salty
sour
spicy
spoiled
stale
sugary
tainted
tangy
tart
tasteless
tasty
vinegary
BUSINESS LETTER WRITING
There are several types of letter styles and formats. The format to use depends on the purpose
of the letter. A FRIENDLY LETTER is a casual letter between friends and is punctuated
with a comma after the salutation. The BUSINESS LETTER is a formal letter used for
business purposes. It will have the company letterhead (company name and address) printed
at the top of the stationery. It is punctuated with a colon after the salutation and is also
distinguished by the typist's initials at the end of the letter. Also, there are two common letter
styles. MODIFIED BLOCK STYLE LETTER has your address and date as well as the
Complimentary Close both starting at center. Whereas, the BLOCK STYLE LETTER lines
up everything at the left margin. Either is acceptable.
The PERSONAL BUSINESS LETTER is from a person instead of a company; therefore, it
will have your personal address at the top of the letter along with the date immediately below
the address. There is a colon after the salutation and no typist's initials. It is assumed that
you typed it yourself. (See sample below)
PERSONAL BUSINESS LETTER (Block Style)
HEADING
(ADDRESS OF
SENDER)
INSIDE ADDRESS
SALUTATION
BODY OF THE
LETTER (THREE
PARAGRAPHS)
(your street)
(your city, state zip
(current date)
Single space with
double spacing
between paragraphs
Mr./Mrs. ______________
Address
City, state zip
Dear Mr.Mrs. ____________
The introductory paragraph is a greeting and explanation
of the writing purpose.
The middle paragraph(s) states the details related to the
purpose of the letter.
The concluding paragraph is a friendly farewell.
Sincerely yours,
COMPLIMENTARY
CLOSE
Your Signature
Leave four blank lines
to allow spacing for
the signature
(Your name)
SEMINAR SAVVY
75
What to do?
• BE PREPARED! Read the assigned article and complete the “S” and “Q” notes shown
below (on a separate page).
Does this portray a
Why?
true seminar setting?
ƒ Collaborative search for meaning
Why or why not?
ƒ Read for key concepts and perspectives
ƒ Sharpen listening and speaking skills
ƒ Develop critical thinking skills
How?
ƒ Note fallacies, subtleties, ambiguities, and key concepts using post-it notes
ƒ Come prepared to discuss issues
ƒ Stay on topic
ƒ If you haven't read, don't talk/do take notes
ƒ Everyone participates--no one dominates (choose your battles)
ƒ Empathize with the speaker (seek to understand even though you may disagree)
ƒ Follow the argument in an effort to logically bridge from the previous speaker
ƒ Refer to the text (cite page & paragraph number) whenever possible
ƒ In addition to your prepared questions and issues, share new ideas and personal insights
Follow-up—Answer the analysis questions noted below
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SQRA: Summary, Question, Respond, Analyze
UMMARY (5 pts)
Title:
Author:
Author’s Thesis:
Author’s evidence: (list and note page and column location of at least three pieces of evidence)
Author’s conclusion about the significance of the topic:
Write a paragraph in your own words explaining the gist of the article, the nature of
the evidence, and the significance of the topic.
UESTION (5 pts)
1. List at least three discussion questions you have about the reading, perhaps
related to author’s accurate, fair, balanced, or unfair presentation of the topic.
2. To what extent does your prior knowledge of the subject support or conflict
with the author’s thesis?
S
Q
R
ESPOND (10 pts) Seminar Participation—points will be deducted for the following:
1. Dominating the discussion or going overboard with your own opinion
2. Minimal participation
3. Interrupting others
4. Not listening to others or not trying to understand their perspective
A
NALYZE (5 pts) Upon completion of the seminar, analyze your participation
1. In terms of your role in the group, what skills did you use, develop, or lack?
2. What might you do differently next time and/or what were your frustrations?
3. What were the group’s successes?
4. What connections do you see between the assignment and the unit of study?
PARTS OF SPEECH
76
1. a NOUN names a person, place, thing or idea (also condition or process)
• Romeo's impulsiveness caused his demise.
2. a PRONOUN takes the place of a noun-• That is his book.
• We'll bring it to the vet.
Person: 1st--speaker; 2nd--spoken to; 3rd--spoken of
PERSONAL PRONOUNS
Singular
1st person
2nd person
3rd person
Plural
1st person
2nd person
3rd person
Nominative Case
I
you
he, she, it, who
Objective Case
me
you
him, her, it, whom
Possessive Case**
my, mine
your, yours
hers/his, its, whose
we
us
our, ours
you
you
your, yours
they
them
their, theirs
who
whom
whose
**Personal Possessive pronouns usually take on the role of adjectives in a sentence.
For example:
• Bring me my hat. (“my” identifies whose hat and is an adjective.)
• He ate his dinner. (“his” identifies whose dinner and is an adjective)
• Its paw is hurt. (“its” identifies whose paw and is an adjective)
REFLEXIVE PRONOUNS—used to refer back to the subject of a verb
myself
ourselves
yourself
yourselves
himself, herself, itself
themselves
RELATIVE PRONOUNS—used to introduce adjective and noun clauses
who
whom
whose
which
that
INTERROGATIVE PRONOUNS—used to begin questions
Who…?
Whose…?
Whom…?
Which…?
What…?
DEMONSTRATIVE PRONOUNS—used to point out a specific person or thing
this
that
these
those
INDEFINITE PRONOUNS—used to refer to people or things in general often
without antecedents
anybody
each
nobody
one
another
either
most
other
everybody much
several
all
everyone neither some
anyone
77
3. VERBS tell the action or state of being-• D0ING/ACTION--Bob is sleeping soundly.
• FEELING/STATE OF BEING--Bob is sleepy.
Number: is the subject singular or plural?
The report shows a sales gain. The reports show a sales gain.
Voice:
• ACTIVE: subject acts—I kicked the chair.
• PASSIVE: subject is acted upon—The chair is kicked by me
The proposal was approved.
Transitive: takes an object--Raise the flag
Intransitive: never takes an object--Bread rises; I am happy.
4. an ADJECTIVE modifies a noun or a pronoun
(What kind? How many? Which one?)-• I like the red candies. I like the red ones.
• That is John's new house. John has a new house.
5. an ADVERB modifies a verb, adjective, or adverb--(how? when? where? to what extent?)
• The much faster runner won the race very easily.
6. a PREPOSITION shows how a noun or pronoun is related to another part of the
sentence-• (Over the river) and (through the woods) (to Grandmother's house) we go.
Common prepositions:
about
before
during
over
under
at
down
against
above
behind
except
past
upon
for
since
underneath
across
below
unto
off
with
of
beneath
concerning
from
through
within
on
beside
in
without
throughout
along
between
into
to
amid
by
after
toward
among
beyond
like
up
around
off
7. a CONJUNCTION connects words, phrases or clauses-• Mom and I will be going to the store tonight or we're likely to be having cereal for
dinner tomorrow.
Coordinating conjunctions: but, or, yet, so, for, and, nor (BOYS FAN)
Subordinating conjunctions: (introduce complex sentences)
after because
whenever till
since
where
as
so that
wherever
as if
that
which
who
although
as though unless
whose
before
if
as soon as whomever when
whose
8. an INTERJECTION expresses emotion and has no
grammatical relation to other words in the sentence--Oh! I
hurt my foot. Hey, do you want to study together tonight?
78
once
while
until
though
what
whom
RECOMMENDED 9TH/10TH GRADE LANGUAGE ARTS
Content and CAHSEE
tandards
READING
1.1 Identify and use literal and figurative word
meanings and understand word derivations.
1.2 Distinguish connotative, denotative word
meaning.
2.1 Analyze workplace document.
2.2 Prepare a bibliography.
2.3 Generate questions from readings.
2.4 Synthesize content from several sources,
single idea, author.
2.5 Extend ideas presented in primary or
secondary sources.
2.7 Critique logic of documents.
2.8 Evaluate credibility of author’s argument or
defense of a claim.
3.1/3.10 Identify traits of different forms of
drama, dramatic devices.
3.3 Analyze interactions between characters in
literature.
3.4 Determine character’s traits by what is said
in narration, dialogue, monologue, and soliloquy.
3.5 Compare works that express a universal
theme.
3.6 Trace development of time with flashbacks
and foreshadowing.
3.7 Recognize literary devices and figurative
language.
3.8 Evaluate text for ambiguities, subtleties,
ironies, incongruities.
3.9 Explain how voice, persona, narrator affect
characterization and the tone, plot, credibility of
text.
79
WRITING
1.1 Establish coherent thesis and
maintain consistent tone and focus.
1.2 Use precise language, action verbs,
sensory details, active voice.
1.3 Use clear research methods and
present evidence.
1.4 Develop main idea with supporting
evidence.
1.5 Evaluate information from various
sources.
1.6 Use quotes, cite in writing.
1.9 Consider purpose in word choice,
logic, and tone.
1.0 Conventions:
1.1 Identify and correctly use clauses
and mechanics of punctuation.
1.2 Understand sentence construction
and proper English usage.
1.3 Demonstrate an understanding of
English usage and control of grammar,
paragraph and sentence structure, diction
and syntax.
1.5 Use correct manuscript format.
2.0 Applications:
2.1 Biographical narratives
2.2 Responses to literature
2.3 Analytical essays (or research
reports)
2.4 Persuasive compositions
2.5 Business letters
11TH/12TH GRADE LANGUAGE ARTS CONTENT
READING
1.1 Trace the etymology of significant terms used in political
science and history.
1.2 Apply knowledge of Greek, Latin, and Anglo-Saxon
roots/affixes to draw inferences.
1.3 Discern the meaning of analogies encountered, analyzing
specific comparisons as well as relationships and
inferences.
2.1 Analyze both the features and the rhetorical devices of
different types of public documents.
2.2 Analyze the clarity of meaning affected by patterns of
organization, syntax, and word choice in the text.
2.3 Verify facts presented in texts by using a variety of
consumer, workplace, and public documents.
2.4 Make reasonable assertions about significant patterns using
elements of the text to defend interpretations.
2.5 Analyze an author’s implicit and explicit philosophical
assumptions about a subject.
2.6 Critique the power, validity, and truthfulness of arguments
set forth in public documents.
3.1 Analyze characteristics of sub genres used in poetry, plays,
novels, short stories, and other basic genres.
3.2 Analyze the way in which the theme or meaning of a
selection represents a view or comment on life, using
textual evidence to support the claim.
3.3 Analyze the ways in which irony, tone, mood, the author’s
style, and the “sound” of language achieve specific
rhetorical or aesthetic purposes or both.
3.4 Analyze ways in which poets use imagery, figures of speech,
and sounds to evoke readers’ emotions.
3.5 Analyze recognized works of American Lit (gr. 11).
3.6 Analyze the way in which authors through the centuries have
used archetypes and tradition in literature, political
speeches, and religious writings.
3.7 Analyze recognized works of world literature by (a)
contrasting the major literary characteristics; (b) relating
literary works to the major themes and issues of their eras;
(c) evaluating the political, ethical, and social influences of
the historical period that shaped the characters, plots, and
settings (gr. 12).
3.8 Analyze the clarity and consistency of political assumptions
in a selection of literary works.
3.9 Analyze literary philosophical arguments presented.
WRITING
1.1 Demonstrate an understanding of discourse: narrative,
expository, persuasive, or descriptive.
1.2 Use point of view, characterization, style, and related
elements for specific rhetorical purposes.
1.3 Structure ideas and arguments in a persuasive, way and
support them with relevant examples.
1.4 Enhance meaning by employing rhetorical devices,
including parallelism, repetition, and analogy; the
incorporation of visual aids; and a call for action.
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TANDARDS
1.5 Use language in natural, fresh, and vivid ways to establish a
specific tone.
1.6 Develop presentations by using clear research questions and
creative and critical research strategies
1.7 Use systematic strategies to organize and record
information.
1.8 Integrate databases, graphics, and spreadsheets into wordprocessed documents.
1.9 Revise text to highlight individual voice, improve sentence
variety, and enhance subtlety of tone.
2.1 Write fictional, autobio., or geographical narratives.
2.2 Write responses to literature that (a) demonstrate a
comprehensive understanding of the significant ideas; (b)
analyze the use of imagery, language, and universal themes;
(c) support important viewpoints; (d) demonstrate
understanding of the author’s use of stylistic devices; (e)
identify and assess the impact of perceived ambiguities,
nuances, and complexities.
2.3 Write reflective compositions that (a) explore the
significance of personal experiences or concerns by using
rhetorical strategies; (b) draw comparisons between specific
incidents and broader themes; (c) relate to more general and
abstract ideas.
2.4 Write historical investigation reports.
2.5 Write job applications and resumes.
2.6 Deliver multimedia presentations.
ENGLISH LANGUAGE CONVENTIONS
1.1 Demonstrate control of grammar, diction, and paragraph
and sentence structure.
1.2 Produce legible work that shows accurate spelling and
correct punctuation and capitalization.
1.3 Reflect appropriate manuscript requirements.
LISTENING AND SPEAKING
1.1 Recognize strategies used by the media to persuade.
1.2 Analyze impact of the media on democratic process.
1.3 Evaluate image makers presentation methods.
1.4 Use rhetorical questions, parallel structure, etc.
1.5 Use various forms of logical arguments.
1.6 Use logical, ethical, and emotional appeals.
1.7 Use appropriate rehearsal and performance strategies
1.8 Use effective and interesting language.
1.9 Use research/analysis to justify gesture, diction, etc.
1.10 Evaluate use of special effects in productions.
1.11 Critique a speaker’s diction and their impact.
1.12 Identify logical fallacies used in oral addresses.
1.13 Analyze the four basic types of persuasive speech.
1.14 Analyze the techniques used in media messages.
2.1 Deliver reflective presentations
2.2 Deliver historical investigations
2.3 Deliver oral responses to literature
2.4 Deliver multimedia presentations
2.5 Recite poems, speech selections or soliloquies
STEP-BY-STEP DIRECTED STORY
ƒ Improve writing through the use of various sentence structures
1. a simple sentence with one subject (underlined) and one predicate
(underlined) plus two prepositional phrases. (Note the introductory
adverb)
Amazingly, one species of dolphin can hold its breath for two hours.
2. a simple sentence with a compound predicate which includes three actions--note the double adj.
The bushy, chubby squirrel sat on a limb, held a nut in his paws, and began to eat.
3. a compound sentence joined by a conjunctive adverb (clarifies a relationship).
He did not like cold weather; nevertheless, he shoveled the snow.
4. a simple sentence with a predicate adjective (follows a linking verb and describes the subject)
Silence is golden.
The people have been very patient.
5. a simple sentence with a predicate nominative (a noun or pronoun that follows a linking verb
and points back to the subject to identify it further).
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Variety is the spice of life.
Note: Predicate nominatives and predicate adjectives are referred to as "subject complements."
6. a complex sentence with an adverb clause (a subordinate/dependent clause that modifies a
verb, an adjective, or an adverb telling when, where, how, why, to what extent or condition).
When Sue walked by, the other girls looked. The other girls looked at Sue when she walked by.
7. a complex sentence with an adj clause (a subordinate clause that modifies a noun or a pronoun)
The students who stayed after school for help did well on the test.
8. a complex sentence with a noun clause (a subordinate/dependent clause used as a noun).
Whoever finds the clue must tell me quickly. I now remember what I need to buy.
9. a compound-complex sentence (more than one main clause and at least one subordinate clause).
(MAIN) The earth is bountiful; (MAIN) we may destroy it (SUBORDINATE) if we abuse it.
10. a simple sentence with an appositive (a noun or a pronoun that is placed next to another noun or
pronoun to rename it or give more information about it).
My grandfather Albert takes me fishing.
C.S. Lewis, my favorite author, lived in England.
11. a simple sentence beginning with an introductory adverb phrase followed by the main verb
expressed in passive voice. (A verb is active or passive depending on whether the subject
performs or receives the action that is expressed by the verb.)
Because of Howard O'Brien's illness, tomorrow's forum has been cancelled.
12. a complex sentence beginning with the main clause expressed in active voice.
We held a cast party after the season was over. (Note ending subordinate adverb clause)
13. a simple sentence with a participle (a verbal--verb form--that functions as an adjective).
Gary comforted the crying baby like a real father. (Note the added simile)
14. a simple sentence with a participial phrase (a participle plus modifiers).
Worried about the high cost of operations, the auditor suggested numerous changes.
15. a simple sentence with a gerund (a verbal that ends with -ing and functions as a noun).
Skiing is a popular sport.
16. a simple sentence with a gerund phrase ( gerund plus modifiers).
Singing the national anthem is traditional at many sports events.
17. a compound sentence with an infinitive and an infinitive phrase (verbal preceded by the word to).
I never learned to waltz, but my sister offered to help me learn the moves.
18. a simple sentence with an absolute phrase (consisting of a noun or pronoun that is modified by a
participle but has no grammatical relation to the sentence).His legs terribly tired, John sat down.
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MORPHEMES
Prefixes, Suffixes and Root Words
Why Study Latin and Greek Word Elements? English contains a substantial and growing number
of words derived from Greek and Latin. Some of these words are general words in everyday use and
others are used in specialized fields. By studying the Greek and Latin word elements, you may be able
to conceive the meanings of new words. For example, if you knew that PAN or PANTO means
“complete” or “all,” you are better able to understand that a “panorama” is a complete and
unobstructed view in all directions and a “pantomime” is all gestures and signs, i.e., a performance
without words. By studying prefixes, root words, and suffixes in your English class, you gain the tools
needed to enlarge and enrich your vocabulary. The following list is for the elements of words you will
be tested on in grades 9-12. They are objectives, so you will need to pass the exam in order to pass the
class. Your particular class may require more or fewer elements.
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You’ve
finished your
writing
instruction
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Works Cited
Blustein, Lotte and Rosemary J. Geary. Writing the Research Paper. 4th ed. Blustein and
Geary, 1992.
Brown, Ann Cole, et al. Grammar and Composition, Third Course. Boston: Houghton
Mifflin, 1986.
Engelland, Leslie P. Practice in Style. Logan: The Perfection Form Company, 1989.
Engle, Michael, et al. “Annotated Bibliographies.” New York: Olin and Uris Libraries,
Cornell University, 2004.
French, Calvin. Student Writer’s Handbook. Upland: Upland Unified School District, 1993.
Gibaldi, Joseph. MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers. 4th ed. New York: The
Modern Language Association of America, 1995.
Hacker, Diana. A Writer’s Reference. 2nd Ed. Boston: Bedford Books of St. Martin’s Press,
1988.
Kemper, Dave, Verne Meyer, and Patrick Sebranek. Writer’s Inc. 3rd ed. Burlington: Write
Source Educational Publishing House, 1992.
Kinneavy, James L. and John E. Warriner. Elements of Writing, Third Course. Orlando:
Holt, Rinehart and Winston, 1993.
Kunka, Jennifer Liethen, et al. “Using Modern Language Association (MLA) Format.”
Purdue University Online Writing Lab (OWL), 2003.
Schaffer, Jane. The Jane Schaffer Writing Program, 2003.
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