ThePortableEditor
Volume 9, No. 2
Writing Effective Paragraphs
Part 2
Adapted (but mainly stolen) from the University of Houston-Victoria website:
http://www.cateringcomplete.com/laura/english/Writing_Effective_Paragraph2.htm
In this issue, we pick up with our tips for successful writing, with a focus on how to write effective
paragraphs.
Avoid Presenting Conflicting Arguments Within a Single Paragraph
A conflicting or contradicting argument occurs when one or more sentences do not support the topic
sentence's main idea. If it doesn't help you make your argument, leave it out.
Example of a paragraph with conflicting arguments:
Americans are caught in the vise-grip of vacation starvation, or spiraling work hours and
shrinking vacations that leave employees with inadequate time to rest, recharge, and enjoy the
fruits of their labor. Pushed by modern-day stressors of completing 12 hours of work in an 8-hour
paid day and shuffling various responsibilities—all while carting their children to gymnastics
practice, music lessons, and soccer games—the typical American worker allows little time for
uninterrupted rest and relaxation. The average American worker gets a stingy 8.1 vacation days
each year, whereas France, Sweden, and Australia have policies that guarantee workers get at least
5 weeks of annual vacation. Moreover, many American vacations are merely “on paper” because
the corporate culture questions the loyalty of those who take vacations. However, most workers
do get to spend weekends relaxing in the company of their friends and families with few
work worries to bother them. Weekends are often booked with family responsibilities and
provide little, if any, of the quality leisure and rejuvenation that a 14-day family vacation would
provide. As a result, most American workers reach year’s end with bodies and psyches battered by
work but with unused vacation days.
Sentence 5 contradicts the paragraph's main argument that workers are worn out. Eliminating the
contradicting sentence makes the paragraph “tight,” that is, clearly focused on the main argument.
Contradicting information should not be merely discarded but should be addressed in a separate
paragraph.
Ensure You Have No Major Gaps in Ideas
Many writers assume their readers can easily follow their logic as the writer jumps from point A to
point C. But readers are more likely to slip through these cracks in a writer’s argument and end up
confused instead of informed.
Example of a paragraph with a gap in logic:
Chocolate does more than just taste good; it has positive physiological effects. Chocolate contains
caffeine, which provides brief spurts of energy. Additionally, eating chocolate affects the brain
and triggers the release of endorphins, which create a sense of pleasure, relaxation, and comfort.
Chocolate also contains a cannaboid that, when consumed in large quantities, can lead to altered
states of consciousness. However, the FDA does not regulate chocolate.
Although the reader can follow the paragraph's main idea in Sentences 1 through 4, Sentence 5 makes
a broad jump to another idea (i.e., lack of regulations). This idea might be appropriate in another
paragraph, but other information is needed to connect the physiological effects to the point that chocolate
is not regulated as a drug. If the next paragraph discusses the need for regulation of chocolate, then
Sentence 5 could be rewritten as a concluding sentence that leans forward to the next paragraph: “Despite
the evidence of the physiological effects of chocolate, the FDA has failed to set regulations for the
manufacture and consumption of chocolate.”
Avoid Discussing Too Many Complex Ideas in One Paragraph
Break larger, more complex thoughts into smaller, more understandable ideas that allow the reader to
fully grasp your point.
Example of a paragraph with too many large, complex ideas:
Children's play affects their learning and social development. Children learn both gross and fine
motor skills through play. Gross motor skills involve the ability to maintain balance, to run
significant lengths, and to jump over specific hurdles. Fine motor skills develop through using
specific hand-eye coordination abilities. For example, fine motor skill activities, such as putting
puzzles together, improve children's critical reasoning and thinking skills, which, in the future,
will help them get along with other people. As children learn these skills, they also develop the
ability to manipulate their environment. Children tend to fine tune gross motor skills on the
playground, where many activities and tools challenge their skills and coordination. In contrast,
fine motor skills develop through using specific hand-eye coordination abilities such as cutting a
paper with a pair of scissors or coloring inside the lines of a drawing. Children also acquire fine
motor skills through playing, allowing them to perform tasks that are necessary to existing within
a peer group. With enhanced gross and fine motor skills, children become more comfortable with
the socialization process. By skillfully running, jumping, and then scaling an obstacle, children
learn to compete with their peers in active play. Play also helps children gain the confidence
needed to help them become a leader in a group rather than just being a part of one.
In the previous paragraph, the topic sentence could be used more effectively as a thesis statement in an
introductory paragraph. This use would allow you to develop separate paragraphs for the three main
issues (i.e., development of gross motor skills, development of fine motor skills, and the effect of these
skills on children’s social development). By dividing the topics into individual paragraphs, you increase
the opportunity to develop and present a valid argument.
Example of a complex argument divided into separate paragraphs:
Thesis: Children's play has an impact on their socialization.
Children learn gross motor skills through their active play. Gross motor skills involve the
ability to maintain balance, to run significant lengths, and to jump over specific hurdles. Children
tend to fine-tune these skills on the playground, where many tools challenge their skills.
Children also acquire fine motor skills through playing. Fine motor skills develop through
using specific hand-eye coordination abilities. By cutting a paper with a pair of scissors or
coloring inside the fine lines of a drawing, children develop the ability to manipulate their
environment.
With enhanced gross and fine motor skills, children become more comfortable with the
socialization process. By skillfully running, jumping, and then scaling an obstacle, children learn
to compete with their peers in active play. Similarly, children's fine motor skill development
enables them to perform tasks that are considered necessary to existing within a group. For
example, fine motor skill activities, like putting puzzles together, improve children's critical
reasoning and thinking skills, which, in the future, will help them get along with other people.
Play also helps children gain the confidence needed to help them become a leader in a group rather
than just being a part of one.
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